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The Visionary Woman Podcast
The Visionary Woman Podcast
Mastering the Three C's for CEOs: Navigating Clients, Colleagues, and Confidants While Protecting Your Energy
Are you surrounded by the right people to achieve your goals as a CEO? Discover the three C's for CEOs - client, colleague, and confidant - and how to effectively manage them in this episode of the Visionary Woman podcast. We delve into the characteristics of each of these roles, focusing on the importance of setting boundaries, managing our energy, and staying on track with our mission.
But what about those pesky energy vampires who drain your energy and bring negativity to your life? Fear not, for we reveal the warning signs of an energy vampire and discuss strategies to protect yourself from their effects. Learn how to recognize when you're giving away your precious energy and become more self-aware of who you invite into your life. Join us as we set ourselves up for success, both professionally and personally, in this insightful episode of the Visionary Woman podcast.
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Don't put your dreams to bed. You've done that enough. Now it's time to stir them up. This is your friend and host, Kirstie Fleur, with the Visionary Woman Podcast, and I love resourcing the Visionary Woman, the creative, the artist, the business owner, the risk taker, and on this show, we will talk about what it means to get out of your own way and take your dreams to the next level. Join the conversation. Hi, my name is Kirstie Fleur, and welcome to another episode of the Visionary Woman Podcast.
Kirstie :Today on the show, we are going to be talking about The Three C's for CEOs and identifying the energy vampires in your life. I don't know if you've ever heard of that before, but it's all about managing your energy, setting boundaries, and knowing who's supposed to be in what spot, and what place in your life so that you can succeed. You might have heard me mention that on a previous episode where I talked about how that's a much longer conversation and we'll get into that later. Well, now is the time to get into that. I think that it's really hard to build a visionary business and have a visionary mindset and entrepreneurial dream, and you have the wrong team around you. When I say team, I'm not just talking about the people on your team at work. I'm talking about your friends, your colleagues, your confidants. So the three C's, what are the three C's? We're going to jump right into it. The three C's are your client, your colleague, and your confidant. So you might have heard this in several different places before. I don't know if you guys know who TDJX is, but TDJX had this episode, and I think it helped a lot of people. It had to because it was insane, but it was a comrade, constituent, and something else, but he was teaching people how to discern who the different people were in their life, and that was super helpful for me. But through this whole time and even after hearing that years ago, when he said that, I've been like, how does that relate with women who are in business? Meaning, how does that relate or how does that connect with me? Because of course, I'm going to look at it like how can I implement this and bring this into my life and how can I move things forward with this? And so what I was seeing is there were a few different categories here: The Client, The Colleague, The Confidant.
Kirstie :I'm going to tell you exactly the definition of those for you right here. So let's start with your client. It's kind of obvious what a client is, but the definition reads, a client refers to an individual or organization that receives services from you or products from your company. They are the recipients of your business offerings. By the way, all this is, of course, finding your voice. So there are four characteristics of a client. One is that they are recipients, so they're receiving products or services. It is also transactional, so the relationship between you and the client is primarily based on business transactions and fulfilling the client's needs. Another characteristic is external. The client exists outside of your immediate circle and is not involved in any of the internal workings of your company. And then, the consumer. The clients are consumers of the company's offerings, relying on your expertise and your solutions to meet their requirements. It's also feedback oriented in that one, which means that you're going to request the client's feedback on their experience in your company and with the products and services that you've given them, and it's going to enhance the customer experience. So that is what your client is.
Kirstie :Seems obvious, but sometimes, when we're in business and we haven't been taught these things in personal leadership development. We don't know. We kind of get it messy between who is our client, who's our colleague, who's our peer, and who's our confidant. So the next one is the colleague, ie, the peer. And so the definition of a colleague refers to a person with whom you collaborate or work closely in a professional or business context. They are the individuals who share similar roles or responsibilities and contribute to your work environment. I think it's interesting.
Kirstie :I was talking to a young girl a couple of days ago and she was talking about this frustration with a colleague situation and not wanting to be at her job anymore because of things that were happening at work, and I said well, work is only a small component of your life. You know, do you want to forfeit your career and all the beautiful opportunities that you have because there is tension or jealousy, or frustration between colleagues at work? And, of course, you want to have, like, great working relationships with colleagues and different people that you're at work with. But sometimes it doesn't always happen that way. All of us are on different emotional and spiritual maturity levels. And so sometimes we have to gauge like you know our boundaries and our energy and like who we're allowed to pour into us and you know people coming with all the negativity and the pulling and do I want to allow them to affect the energy that I'm carrying? I'm coming in to work happy, I'm coming into my business, to my office every day, excited about the work that I do and ready to be on my mission. And then there are these people that are on the exterior, or colleagues who working for the same goal that I'm working for, but maybe not as excited or maybe have a different energy than me. So these are things that we have to be able to not even just spiritually discern, but like practically understand and then move people into the right position that they're supposed to be in. I love when I hear people say it's not, you know, you don't want to cut everybody off. Everything is not about cutting everybody off, and I know we live in a culture right now where everything is like snip, snip, you cut everybody off if things don't work. You do that, but it's not always about that. Sometimes it is about literally knowing you, knowing what position that people need to occupy, and then kind of moving and position and people giving less energy and withdrawing and withholding in some areas so that you can manage your energy.
Kirstie :The next one is the confidant. The definition says a confidant refers to a trusted individual with whom you share personal or confidential matters. They provide emotional support, guidance, and a safe space for you to discuss personal or sensitive topics. So these are trustworthy friends in your life that you can talk to, trust completely, and know that your personal conversations and things that you talk about are vaulted. You know you can share something deep, you can grieve and do these different things with them and they're not sharing it with everybody. That they know. Emotional support they provide, that empathetic listening, that emotional support, that understanding during challenging times when you're facing hardship and dilemmas. They're non-judgmental confidants, and have a non-judgmental environment where you can freely express yourself and you can share vulnerabilities. You can seek advice without fear of criticism and then you can also get wise counsel from them. If this is a confidant, hopefully, they're a wise person in your life and you guys can share wise counsel amongst and between each other and there's a reciprocity in that.
Kirstie :You hear me talk about reciprocity a lot. It's very important. I think it's healthy. So confidence offers valuable insight, guidance, and perspective on personal matters, helping you to make informed decisions, and then there's mutual caring. Again, there's a reciprocity. You may not be able to give at the same level, the same way, the same anything like that, but there are different ways that you can meet that reciprocity or that mutual caring of the friend that is the confidant, and that's something that you gauge while being friends with somebody and learning and growing in a relationship. But the relationship with the confidant involves reciprocal care with the confidant also receiving your support and trust when needed as well. So those are our three C's for CEOs. I say CEOs whether this is C-suites and people in leadership, women who are in executive leadership. And again, that's important to me, it's important to you, it's the reason why you're here on the Visionary Wo`man podcast because you need to know about these challenges and the obstacles that we can face. It can sometimes get muddy for us on who goes where, so this is for you specifically. There's somebody named Dan Pina. He had a quote. In his quote says "show me your friends and I'll show you your future". That is huge. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. So that tells us that the people that are around us can significantly impact our future in the way that our life and our trajectory is going. So it is that important.
Kirstie :One thing that you'll hear me talk about is energy vampires. You will, because, culturally, right now, so many people are talking about protecting your energy and your vibe and your mood and your frequencies and all those things. So I'm going to give you some backdrop on what an energy vampire is. You may call it something different, you know, but this is what that looks like. So the energy vampire doesn't do their own work. They don't take ownership. That's number one. They're always involved in drama, and then their texts or calls or their communication revolve around it. So you find yourself having a great day, you're working, you're moving things along, you're building your business, you are spending time with your family, doing whatever things you're doing, and then when you have a conversation with this person. It's always revolving around the latest drama, their latest drama, or their latest chaos and that is the way that you connect with them through the chaos.
Kirstie :Another thing they do is they one-up you. This one is kind of the worst for me. I don't like this one. The constant need to feel like, oh yeah, these things are happening in my life. This is going on, yes, how I'm doing. And then they're immediately like, oh yeah, and then I'm here, and they just have to try to be a step above or higher than where you're at. And it's kind of it's interesting, and I believe the place it comes from is a place of not knowing who you are. A place of insecurity, and just not knowing your own vision as a woman. So you feel like, instead of being like man, I'm inspired by the work that you're doing and it makes me want to get on my grind. It makes me want to do what I'm supposed to be doing in my lane. Instead, it's more of a competition, a one-up me, you. And so those are not the kind of people that we want close in our circle like that.
Kirstie :Another one of the things to remember is that they may diminish your problems and make their problems bigger. So you may say, oh, I'm going through this with my health, I'm needing support in this way, and you're like, oh, it's going to be okay, girl, just pray about it. Or maybe just, you know, did you try this and you don't kind of move on with this? Very casual, but there's stuff they need, like you know, unlimited amounts of support and energy and your attention and everything fueled to it, to where you feel like you can't even share, like the challenging and the hard stuff that's going on with you, because their's is much bigger and you just need to be in tune to it, so diminishing your problem problems and making theirs bigger. Another thing is you can never give them enough time, enough connection, because there are so many guilt trips, so they're calling all the time. They are texting all the time. They need to be with you all the time.
Kirstie :There's this constant need and really what it is is codependency. That's the next one. It's codependency, it's the need to be needed. So they can't function without you, or so they make it seem as though they can't function without you, and maybe you guys even have a codependent relationship together where you feel like you can't function without whatever piece that they have. The constant calling, the, you know, because you like, maybe you like to feel needed. These are things that we have to address inside of us as well. If people who are codependent are drawing on you in that way, what are they sensing? What are they feeling? What kind of access are you giving them? What are you showing them that says this is how I want us to connect and interact with each other? So it's not all them. Sometimes we really got to do the work and look inside and do our work. Like I'm saying here, they don't do their work. You got to look internally and do your work as well, because we attract what we attract for a reason. That's a huge piece of that. Another thing is negativity. They are negative, negative, negative. They never have a positive word or thought And again, we've already said they are time stealers. So those are huge pieces.
Kirstie :They can push your buttons by bringing up old things that might make you angry or sad, but the biggest thing is to not fall for it. That's a really hard one right there. So if you've already forgiven or moved past whatever situation it is and you guys were in it through the mud they remember whatever the situation was. You know, years later, They're still talking about it or they'll bring it up every now and then, and it just you know, It changes your whole day because now you're frustrated because this thing is coming back up and brought to the surface. That you're like why is this coming up? Why are we talking about this? Why are we? But they do that because it's a way of connection. Again, they're finding something to connect.
Kirstie :Over and again it's it's about time stealing. It's about connection for them, about feeling like they can be needed and like sometimes, you know, the real thing with energy vampires, too, is they may feel that you're advancing or moving forward and it may be too fast for them, and they're trying to find a way to connect on and find some type of way that they can find some Simulants and something to hold on to the relationship. So there's a little bit of insecurity there because of that. One thing I want you guys to remember is to be self-aware. You know, a lot of times we don't even realize that these are people that are in our corners or in our networks because we are not as self-aware as we could be. Self-awareness is a journey that we need to take every day, being present in the moments and connected to just the present moment there we're in. So something you can do with this information, with these resources that I'm giving you now, is you can actually make a list of the people who kind of fit in these categories, like who's your client, who's your colleague, and who's your confidant, who's your confidant? And then, who have you identified in your life that might be an energy vampire stealing? You know, energy time draining you, with the chaos and the confusion. Another thing I know I mentioned is that the reason why they're drawn to you, or attracted to you, can sometimes be because of what you're allowing and how you've told them you can connect with them. It is our energy. You know, energy is everything, but they seek you out. They do seek you out because of your energy and your frequency. So it's so crazy.
Kirstie :I have this story my vocal coach, who was an amazing vocal coach, by the way, she really helped me gain my, my vocal freedom and you know, get out of this mode that I was in. But she could tell immediately when I had been around this certain individual and had been on the phone with this certain individual, because she would ask me before I call, who, who are you talking to, before I call, because your energy is so different than it was, you know, the day before or a few hours ago, or you know, if we had to hop back on the call later to finish our session, what happened between now and then? I'm like, oh, I just finished a phone call with a friend, etc, etc. And she's like who is this friend? Like what is the deal? Because you came in here and then one you were bright and you were excited and you were ready to go. But now you are like you know, you're inside of this box and you're drained and your energy is so different. She really helped me understand the power of protecting my energy. She's like your frequency, you know, as an artist, as a creative, and what you're doing.
Kirstie :People are gonna always wanna be drawn to this. So if this is you, if you're an artist, creative, thought leader, you're out putting content, out leading in whatever aspects and ways that you're leading. It is easy for people to be drawn to that and they want to pull because you have something that they need. You know, and that's great. You know, that's great that you have something that they need. You wanna give those resources to people like that is we're servants. At the end of the day, we're all servant leaders. But you have to put the boundaries in place. Nobody can do that for you. So you have to say this is a no. I'm not gonna share this information, or I have to put a boundary here, because my time here is precious, or I can't be on the phone with you like this and this way. I can't give to you this way. So I thought she was an amazing coach for that in itself, because she was teaching me some things about leadership and protecting my energy and who I allowed around me, et cetera. And it was just amazing to me that my vocal coach could sense that and see that like she did. I'm like wow, that's crazy. You saw the shift like that. So I imagine that other people who wanted to be benefited by what I had to offer were feeling the same thing, like wow, you kinda feel like a drag, you're down in the dumps and you're negative because I'm putting off the energy that has been the energy that's been connecting with me. But I wanna teach you guys how to graduate from the cycle of these type of relationships, and so we'll get into those a few of these.
Kirstie :One of the ways you can do that is to tell yourself that you can tell yourself what things are true. Telling yourself what things are true helps you stay grounded. So whatever confusion or whatever things that they're coming with, you're saying, well, this is what's true. My friends love me, this is how that situation happened in the past, but I'm not in that situation now. I'm not my past circumstances, etc, etc. And I'm here now, I'm elevating my energy, I'm elevating. You tell yourself those things, you make a note of those things in your head. Another thing is protecting your energy, as I've mentioned, but the physical and the mental aspect of that, so it is saying it, but actually sometimes you have to physically put those boundaries there.
Kirstie :Another thing is to stick to light topics. I used to have a friend that would say, well, you're deflecting, like why aren't you talking, why aren't you getting like really deep into this piece of what it is that we're talking about? But I had just gotten really weary of like years of that type of rhetoric, that same type of conversation. And I hear it from women that I coach and that I lead. I'm listening and I'm like, okay, the friends or the people around you, they're really pulling this part. You know they're spending a whole lot of time in this area. But for you, what will be a practice for you is would be keeping it light and staying on light topics as much as possible, and those are ways that you set boundaries actually. So you're gonna want to minimize exposure as much as possible.
Kirstie :I would say the last stitch effort would be to actually remove these people from your life. I feel like this is the last, this would be the last thing, like if they just cannot get it together. If you realize that this is a pattern that you've been doing for years and you're like, wow, this is not ever going to change and it's been this way for so long, then you may have to just really draw a line in the sand and say this is not somebody that I can move forward with and I realize that when I'm connected to them, my life is not moving forward. Okay, another thing you can do is visualize your energy and your spirit being closed. So something I do is I say my spirit is closed and then I don't. I visualize their energy not coming into my circle and my whole war and energy and where I'm at. It's also a spiritual practice of protecting your spirit, guarding your heart, guarding your energy, and so that's something that you can do as well.
Kirstie :And the most exciting one is spend time with positive people. Know who the people in your life are, who are your confidants, people you can really spend time and be with as friends and invest in those relationships and have balance in that, so you can have balance between the time spent with clients, the time spent with the confidant and the time spent with a colleague, you know, work wise or whatever. And if you have a balance in that, your life feels so much more full, so much more fruitful and it doesn't feel like, man, I'm spending all my time pouring out this way at work or my business, and I have no time with confidants or friends and I have, you know, all this time spent with this other group, the clients. And so, think about these things that we talked about today and figure out ways you can implement some of these strategies into your life. It's going to make it so much easier.
Kirstie :Again, I can't wait to hear how these tips and resources are working for you in your life, and if you have any questions, like, send us a message and let us know, like, hey, this is something that I've been working through in a friendship, etc. But also don't forget that the FF Social Cl ub has seven-day a free trial. On that seven-day free trial, the course is available there to find your voice course. You can go in there and take the course, and it also talks about all of these things we're talking about today. It talks about the friend and the confidant and there are worksheets that you can do yourself. You go through the worksheets you're going to write down like who are these people? You're going to identify who those folks are, who the people are in your life, and how you can protect your energy. You know it'll help you determine the role of each person in your life and how to communicate and what way to communicate and how to bring clarity in these relationships.
Kirstie :So thank you again for joining us on the Visionary Woman podcast and we can't wait to see you next time. Bye, thanks for listening and joining the conversation today here on the Visionary Woman podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and would like to join our growing community, the FF Social Club, please comment, like, and subscribe so that you can be updated on our upcoming episodes and more happening over at FreedomFleur. com. To catch the latest from me and to access amazing resources from Visionaries just like yourself, please visit me on the web at www. KirstieFleur. com. Thanks again for hanging out with me and I'll see you next time. Until then, don't forget to be Visionary.