168: The Secret First Step to Signing Your First Client (It’s Not What You Think)

Feeling overwhelmed by everyone else’s 'must-do' strategies? One guru says 'post daily', another swears by ads, and then someone else insists you need a funnel before you even think about clients. For side-hustling moms already stretched thin, this constant noise quickly turns into overwhelm, burnout, and frustration.

In this episode, I share what helped me stop chasing every shiny new tactic and start focusing on what really matters: knowing yourself first. When you understand how you make decisions, how you manage your energy, and what fuels you, you’ll be able to cut through the confusion and pick strategies that actually work for you.

You’ll hear how meditation, journaling, and tools like Human Design helped me connect with myself on a deeper level, and why this self-awareness is the missing piece most moms skip when trying to sign their first client. Plus, I’ll share a story of trusting my gut — even when it seemed 'impulsive' — and how it set me on the path to building flexible income streams alongside my 9–5 and family life.

By the end, you’ll know the real first step to signing clients without guilt or burnout: creating a business that feels aligned, energizing, and uniquely yours.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• Why overwhelm keeps you stuck and how to break the cycle
• The real reason strategies fail when you copy-paste them from gurus
• Practical ways to increase self-awareness as a busy mom
• How tools like Human Design can help you manage energy, not just time
• Why acceptance (not self-rejection) is the foundation for sustainable success

Resources & Links:

• The Body Keeps the Score — Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
• Human Design Chart: humandesignblueprint.com by Erin Claire Jones
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Or email sharon@sharonsinghsidhu.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi there and welcome to another episode of the podcast. So today I wanted to share some tips, I guess, about how you can cut through the noise and just get straight to the strategy to sign your first client. So I made this episode for you if you're a woman who's feeling overwhelmed and confused by all the information that's out there about how to start and grow your business, how to sign your first client. I was also like that. I used to get so overwhelmed by all of the different strategies and someone seems to be saying something that contradicts what you heard a little bit earlier and it just led to a lot of confusion and just this sense of information overload. And I don't even know what works, what I should do. So I really wanted to share some of the things that I've done that have really helped me to get over this, because I know that when we have so much coming at us already as a working mom, you already have a lot on your plate. And on top of that, if you are trying to grow a business on the side, you know, there's so much that you need. to learn and and do and it can leave you feeling very exhausted and burnt out trying just simply to keep up right with what is the latest thing what do i need to do for the algorithm how do i need to grow my reach and and there's just so much out there so if that's you then i hope this episode is going to help you and why this is so important is that when we are feeling overwhelmed and confused it just keeps us stuck right because we just don't know what to do anymore and And what happens is our whole body just, our mind just shuts down, right? So then we just don't do anything. We feel exhausted. We feel burnt out. And then we just want to quit doing anything altogether. But we know that not doing anything obviously isn't going to grow your business. Or worse still, right? You keep doing something that actually isn't right for you. And your business ends up moving in a way, in a direction that you don't enjoy anymore. It ends up draining you and exhausting you and you know you start resenting it and then you start coming and approaching your business out of obligation like as if it's a heavy duty that you have to do and that's not the reason why we all started to do this in the first place we started doing this because we want to do work that fulfills us that enriches us that energizes us right not something that just weighs us down and just becomes a complete chore so I think that it is so important because we When we do show up like that, like our business is a chore, what happens is people feel it and therefore we end up repelling potential clients away without even realizing it. And then that reinforces this cycle, like you're doing all the things and yet nothing seems to be working. So it is really important to address this point, I feel. And I think that the main point I really want to make in today's episode is that identifying the best strategy and approach to grow your business or to sign your first client really begins with understanding yourself first. That's really the first step. No one really spends time to do this inner reflective work, but it is really the foundation to start from rather than to jump straight into the latest and best strategy or business tactics. Because understanding yourself, you know, in terms of how you best make decisions, how you address challenges, what environments even that allow you to show up as your best version. And in other words, what I mean is actually all of this is all about how you manage your energy, like how you think, how you feel, because your thoughts affect your emotions and vice versa, right? Your emotions are simply energy in motion. They move through your body, right? And they fuel your actions. That is so critical, right? We think that we can willpower our way through, but no, it is not sustainable. It is exhausting. That's why people burn out. But when you are aligned and you are motivated because of something so much deeper, you have a limitless motivation and energy to take the action. Obviously, you still need to sleep and rest. But what I'm saying is the next day when you wake up, you're energized to go again and do the next thing that you know you wanted to do for your business, right? And ultimately, it's our actions that get results. It's no point for us to sit here and daydream all the time and never take any action and wonder why nothing is happening, right? But we want to make sure that we're taking the right actions that get us the results that we actually want and not the results and outcomes that we don't want, like burnout and stress and anxiety, right? That's not the kind of outcome that we want from our business. And so the thing is simply taking action and kind of like blindly following what some expert is telling us to do because everyone is doing it and everyone says it's the thing you need to do without factoring in this part about understanding yourself first can really lead you to take actions that are not aligned and not the best ones for you and by understanding yourself I mean like how you make decisions what you say yes and no to because we also need to know what are the opportunities or the activities that we want to say yes and no to. And especially if you're a working mom, your time is so precious. It is so limited. You really have to be good at prioritizing, really good at enforcing the boundaries of what you can say yes or what you will say yes and no to. So that's really important. And also understanding yourself also means what's the best way that that you solve problems, not what Mary over there is doing, but how you do it. And understanding yourself is also knowing when is it the right time for you to pivot, knowing how you overcome challenges, when you need to go all in to something and accelerate that progress, when you need to slow down, maybe pause and reflect. So understanding yourself better means that you know what is best for you and only you know that, right? So when you understand yourself what works best for you, then you can clearly discern. I mean, I think the discernment is so important because it's so nuanced. All of our lives have got so much detail that only we know. Nobody else knows. No expert and guru is going to know the details, the nuances, the subtleties of your life like you do, like your situation. Nobody knows that you're the expert of your life, right? So we need to develop this discernment, the ability to tell what's best for us and when to say no to something, even though everyone is telling you it's the best thing for you to do, right? And this is how you then get to learn to work well with your own unique situation. Okay. And so now you might be wondering, okay, that's great. How do I, I don't even know myself. How do I start understanding myself? Which is just simply saying, increasing your self-awareness, just different ways of saying it, right? Whether it's understanding yourself or becoming more self-aware. It's kind of, to me, it's the same thing, but you can be more self-aware simply by just paying a little bit more attention and noticing what you're feeling, right? Okay, what you're feeling day to day, when things happen, when you interact with people, how does that show up in your body? You know, what sensations do you feel? And I think like for many people, we've kind of lost touch with that and we become quite disconnected with that. I know that when I was so busy, kind of in the earlier part of my life, so busy, you know, like, of course, with school, going for the grades, getting into certain universities, doing certain programs, then getting the job and getting promoted. And then you have kids and then there's all these things that you have to do as a mom and there's a wife and there's a lot of things that take up our attention in a day right and then we go to bed we're tired we just fall asleep um and so we don't actually really um just pause to notice how it feels or how we are feeling um and how it makes our bodies feel because we already know uh you know the body uh If you don't know this book, go read The Body Keeps the Score, right? By, shoot, I forget his name, Dr. Basil Van... Oh, yeah, I'll put it in the show notes. I can't remember his name, but I'm sure you probably, if you're hearing this, maybe some of you know it. He's a very famous person when it comes to this book, When the Body Keeps the Score. Simply to say that there is this mind-body connection, right? So our body actually is constantly telling us what's going on inside of us in our minds. And so when we want to pause and just notice how it feels like in our bodies, if we have certain aches and pains, a lot of the times, of course, there might be some medical reason, physical reason, but a lot of times it's also a very psychological, mental, emotional thing that is causing our body to have certain sensations. So I do this by meditating. Meditation to me has been one of my really life-changing practices that I started over a year ago now, not over a year, over a decade ago now, so over 10 years I've been practicing meditation every single day and it helps me to be a lot more self-aware and notice what's showing up for me in my body, how it feels and then I think the other thing is also journaling for me has been very, very, very helpful in helping me to hear this inner inner intuitive voice you know the thoughts that are going on in your mind and I know it can be very scary I know some women have come to me and told me that the meditation is so scary like it causes them like panic and anxiety attacks because they start thinking about probably not so pleasant things that make them feel very anxious right and for that I'll say of course you need to bear in mind I'm not giving any kind of medical or psychological advice here but for some people who have had experience very deep trauma that can be very distressing and it's good to actually see a professional to help you through it but by and large for most of us you know of course we do get intrusive negative thoughts but I think it's just training ourselves to learn to sit with that and then obviously you know reminding yourself when you're sitting there you are actually safe and this feeling of unsafety and danger and threat your feeling is actually your mind that is producing the feeling right but when you look around you you're actually completely in a safe environment so when we train our minds to be able to do that whether it's through meditation or it's through journaling out your thoughts and actually seeing what kind of thoughts are happening in your brain on paper I think it's very helpful to kind of retrain ourselves to see ourselves for what we what's really going on okay so this is these are a couple of methods you can become more self-aware of course you can like I said you can talk with someone you trust you can talk to a therapist but if you don't want to go to that extent, maybe talk to a coach or talk to someone you trust, a friend who won't judge you for what you're saying. I think the most beneficial thing I feel about going to, let's say, an independent third party, whether it's a coach or a therapist, is like there's no judgment. There is no kind of emotional vested interest or anything to try to influence you one way or the other. But sometimes hearing yourself, the act of, I found that when I have talked to someone about it, the very action of of speaking the words and kind of articulating what's in my mind out into a spoken word to someone else in a way that makes sense, you know, it's not like I'm seeking advice from someone else. It's just I'm actually just want to hear how it's coming out from my own mouth. And very often I have the answers to what I'm going to do about it. And so this is the same thing. So you can talk it out with somebody. And then finally, I want to talk a little bit in this episode about tools. I mean, there are many, many tools. Of course, I have the MAP method. But most recently, I'm very into human design. If you have not heard of human design before, it is a system that's based on ancient and modern disciplines, including things like astrology, the I Ching, the Kabbalah, and quantum physics. And the goal of human design is to help you to understand how you best use your energy. Remember I talked about how understanding yourself is also about also knowing how to manage then your energy. And you can't manage something that you don't understand right so we must first understand what is our own energy how to best use it to make decisions to deal with challenges to interact with others to see ourselves how our energy is moving through us right how it's how we move through life and just simply have a greater understanding and acceptance of yourself which I feel is the part of self-awareness okay so you've come and you've become more aware of yourself and you've become more honest about how you see yourself and then I think very importantly is sometimes a lot of us kind of reject ourselves like thinking we're somehow in some area aspect of our life not good enough and then we strive to make ourselves better which is not a bad thing that's the whole field of personal development continuous improvement and learning but I think undercurrent the underlying thing there is a sense of self-rejection but instead what I'm trying to suggest here is then using human design to come to a full acceptance of yourself with full acceptance it does not mean that you are not doing anything about any area of yourself that you want to improve I think sometimes that's also the misunderstanding when I talk to some women they're like oh you know but if I accept myself then I'm lowering my standards it's not about that you know when you accept yourself you are just loving yourself for who you are flaws and all and then it's from that loving kind place that if you decide and if you decide that's the certain area that you want to change you can and you can decide that no I don't want to that's completely up to you right Right? It's totally your decision. so back to human design you know it helps with the self-acceptance but you know human design really has helped me to understand myself so much better and just a side story now I'm trying to keep this short but I have like other side stories coming up when I first came across human design and again like if it's the first time for you and then you start googling and looking up human design you might find that it's such a complicated system and so when I first came across human design a few years ago I rolled my eyes and I dismissed it you know first of all it's based on things like astrology that I'm like that's not scientific but then second of all it's also like it's so complicated and in my mind my story went immediately to this is created by a bunch of people who just want to make it so complicated so that they can charge you money to understand it and that just reflects to you my belief you know about money isn't it interesting about how people are out to take advantage of you and take money away from you that was my story right so I've been working on that too and just really understanding, no, actually, you know, this is about the law of compensation where it is an exchange. There's always an exchange and money is simply a representation of an exchange that's going on between two parties, right? You give me something and I give you something in return. So it's kind of a reciprocal kind of relationship, right? Even in your job, you give something and the company gives you something through a salary. You give your time, you give your expertise and skills and experience and the company gives you a salary and benefits right so anyway okay another side story so when i came across human design initially i was thinking nah not for me but you know i think that when the student is ready the master appears right so it's kind of like saying like timing is very important you can revisit you can see you can actually come across something and it totally doesn't connect and then you can come across the very same thing again two years later and it completely connects with you so that's kind of been my experience with human design but nevertheless i I found out that my human design type is a generator and there are these different types in human design. But as a generator, it means that I make my decisions by trusting my gut instincts and how it feels in my body. You know, like some of us, we have a gut feeling about something and then we move with that gut feeling. It just feels right. It's not logical. We cannot explain it, but our body is just pulling us in that direction. That's me. That's as a generator. That is how we actually make decisions and I used to really like beat myself up about it because I used to think, oh, I was so impulsive, right? Sometimes we think, oh, you know, you cannot make your decisions out of emotions and your gut reactions because that's so impulsive and you're not thinking it through. And that is like conventional wisdom, right? And so I used to feel like, oh, no, no, no, I'm being so impulsive. No, no, no, I can't do that. And then I would rationalize it. And then it turns out for people like generators like us, when we choose not to go with the gut instinct because whatever reason like in my case I thought I was being impulsive and instead we kind of like shut that down and then we try to rationalize and take the most logical approach well the most logical approach is not the best thing for you the best thing would have been for you to go with your gut instinct even though it might be scary you don't understand it it doesn't make logical sense and so I wasn't being impulsive you know and now when I reflect back on my life all those gut instincts so-called impulsive decisions were all the best things that happened to me even though at that time it seemed like the worst thing possible key example is when my husband and I both decided to quit our jobs he's a generator too so we both make decisions from gut instincts and sometimes people will look at us and think we're crazy and so like impulsive but now I know better right and so we both decided to quit our jobs we went to go start a cafe got into the six-figure debt eventually closed it down and so on the surface it might look like man that was such a bad decision you see that's what you get when you make a impulsive decisions you've lost so much money and you wasted all this time but you know what that whole experience launched me into this whole journey or that's brought me to where i am right now where i don't need to depend on a nine to five i'm side hustling i make multiple income streams i'm working on things i'm really impassionate about i'm helping working moms like me um really to me in my mind i feel like i'm creating a movement where the evolution of of jobs and the way jobs are looking for working moms we don't need to force fit ourselves into a traditional 9 to 5 that makes us show up at a physical location for a fixed period of time and then feel guilty when we need to go attend to our kids who are ill and unwell and you need to take time off but you feel guilty for like asking your boss for time off to take care of your loved ones it's just sorry it doesn't make sense to me and so I'm trying to create a different way that makes better sense for moms. And I think we're at a time now that this is so possible. Lots of women are already doing it and I am trying to figure out my way. I mean, I've figured out certain things that have worked very well for me and that's what I'm doing by sharing it. Okay, another digression. But anyway, back to my human design generator type. and so that's for me right but that might not be for you you might be listening and totally rejecting everything i'm saying at your subconscious level right now you know what you might be right because there are other types some other types actually need to wait for their wave of emotions to subside and come to a more neutral and calm place before deciding and that would be the best strategy for them and for them if they had acted on emotions they would have been being impulsive and that would not have been the best approach for them because the better strategy for them would be for them to recognize, okay, I'm riding this wave of emotions right now, whether it's a high, good-feeling emotion or if it's a low, kind of a lower, maybe more hesitant kind of a feeling. But whatever it is, it's for them to be able to recognize, I'm on an emotional wave right now. I need to ride this wave through before I make my decision, okay? And so that might be your type, right? And still there are a few other types, right? Some others really need to wait for an invitation you know for them to be invited and that doesn't mean you just sit there and just wait for people to invite you but it's all the different ways maybe you go out and you do something you talk to people about it and something shows up and someone says hey you know I was thinking about actually doing this too you know do you want to work on something together this kind of an invitation right and then for some of us it's like the physical environment really matters you know like for some people where they are where they do their work there are certain physical environments where they do their work much better than others right and so sometimes we need to shift that or try to make it work best for us. And so for me, when it came down to understanding that for me, the best approach for me is to follow my garden's thing, then I really started to practice Learning to tell the difference between when is my gut talking to me versus when is my fear, ego, and pride talking, right? Because we want to also be able to differentiate because sometimes our fears can show up and tell us to do something because we're so afraid about something. And then we think, oh, you know, that's my gut reaction telling me not to do this thing. But no, that's actually just fear or pride or ego. And so learning to discern all of these different things, I can now tell, okay, this is my gut. No, this is my pride. pride here talking no this is my ego here talking and so I'm still gonna go with my gut instinct which sometimes can feel very scary because that thing that makes no logical sense can be a very frightening or like scary thing to do right uncertain and doubtful you don't know how it's going to turn out but I know I will still go along with that because that's actually coming from my gut which is a very visceral kind of a response like we feel it in our bodies I know exactly where my body I feel it right and each of us it might come up differently for us physically where it shows up in our body. Okay. So anyway, type is just one aspect of human design. There's so many other things that we can go into, but it also helps me to see when something is off track and when I need to course correct. And so for my type, frustration is kind of my cue to pause. Remember how I talked about how it's important to know when to push through something, even though it's difficult and that might be something you need to do, but it's also crucial to know when is it not the right time to push through anymore. And by pushing through, you might be going down the path that's not so good for us or doesn't work out so well. And you will probably still eventually get to where you want to go, but it's probably a longer route, right? So for me, my time is very precious. My energy is very precious. I always like to get there in the fastest, most efficient and optimal way. And so human design tells me that for my time, when I start getting really frustrated something that's the time for me to pause and reflect and see is okay is is this the way that we still want to continue to go is there a different way to look at it it's kind of like tells me okay I need to pause and step back and reflect for a while and slow down for a bit instead of pushing through so I think that really helps me in terms of not get so burnt out and actually make this a more sustainable process in terms of you know growing a business signing clients and choosing which strategies I want to go along with and so I know when I'm on the right track, my type tells me that I actually experience this feeling of satisfaction. And so when something is like I'm fully aligned, right? And going and working with my energy in the best way, then I actually feel very satisfied. And that is not to say I don't do anything. I could be completely tired by the end of the day, but I feel so satisfied, you know? So it's like all these, like I said, it's all these nuances, right? But there's so much insight that I'm getting about myself through human design. And I'm also now really incorporating it into how I'm growing my business. And yeah, and just, you know, growing my audience. And so you can tell, obviously, by this episode, probably that I'm so excited about what I'm learning through human design. And I signed up for a certification. Okay. It was also a gut reaction. And of course, at that time, I didn't really know so much about human design. I knew a little bit to know that I was the type that actually I needed to trust also my gut instinct. And then, yeah, so I signed up for a certification. I'm currently doing the certification. and I just want to remind people that you know human design really is really not about putting you in a box or giving you a label you know I learn lots of different modalities I've got certifications in different things but I think what human design has really helped me to do is just simply give me permission to be myself you know to fully accept myself that I'm not impulsive because by understanding myself better I know that oh no wonder you know I feel so strongly about certain things that I'm hold so strongly in certain directions and I'm not being impulsive even though for someone else it might be someone who needs to ride through that emotional wave for someone else it might be completely an irrational and impulsive move for them you know and so to also to help me to have more compassion and empathy for others especially in dealing with more difficult relationships where you don't understand why the other person is doing what they're doing why they're doing it but when you can see their type and understand their type then you realize oh it makes perfect sense for them you know and we can better support each other and so I think it's perfect if you're a parent and you have kids because then we actually can adjust our parenting style to really help bring out the best in them and also help them to understand themselves and accept themselves and you know I feel like as a parent I do not ever want to make my child wrong for who they are and that I see my job as a parent is to help them to discover and and accept more of themselves and how to best work with their gifts and their talents and now, of course, their human design types to have the most satisfied and fulfilling lives that they can have and to be happy, right? After all, we just want our kids to be happy and healthy. And so I think I'm also using that with my family and obviously, like I said, in my business as well. So doing all of this in a way that feels good, you know, it feels aligned. And so by doing this, you can actually just kind of see all the expert guru advice out there through this lens now of human design or understanding yourself better and having more self-awareness. And then you can just pick and choose, right? You pick and choose what's best for you, what feels the best for you, what energizes and inspires you the most. Because what I've also learned through so many years of trying so many different things is that every single strategy can work, right? And Every single one of them who teaches those strategies, it has worked for them. And so there are so many different pathways that you can get to the outcome that you want. And so the job for us is to know ourselves, accept ourselves, understand under what conditions we work best, and then choose the ones that match that the best. And so that this entire ride becomes a very enjoyable and fun one, right? Ultimately, isn't that... like what we want to do, why we decided to do this, right, is for it to work for us rather than for us to work so hard for it, right? So what's your action step then from all of this that I've shared with you today? Well, maybe take some time off this week to just review what action you're going to take to be more self-aware. I shared a few, right? There's meditation, there's journaling. I've talked about all of these in my previous episodes before. They are part of my morning and evening routine. So if you want to go listen to those previous episodes, you can talk to someone that you trust you know you can go out in nature or do an activity or change your environment or move your body right whatever feels good for you just be with yourself a little bit and then just accepting yourself and if you want to get more specific and understand your own human design there are lots of ways that you can get your human design chart for free I use humandesignblueprint.com it's by Erin Claire Jones she's a really big name in the human design space and she's also Also the one I'm getting my certification with. And if you're a working mom who knows there's more for you than the traditional 9 to 5 job and you have heard what I've said so far, very intrigued by human design and also want to incorporate human design plus the MAP method plus all the other modalities that I use to build absolute trust and believe in yourself that you can grow your side business, you can sign your first client, then definitely let's talk. DM me at... Sharon Singsiru on LinkedIn, or you can also email me. My email address is Sharon at SharonSingsiru.com. I'll put all this in the show notes as well. And before you go, or before I go rather, if you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. If you're using Apple Podcasts, it does help bring the podcast up, right? And help other women like you find it. If you're a working mom and you know that there's something more for you than following the traditional path, you want to build a career where you have time for your family and yourself, you want to build financial independence and stability through side incomes, then let's definitely talk or just follow me on LinkedIn. I am actually regularly sharing all the different things I'm doing as a working mom myself to work in a job full time and also grow my business on the side. So thank you so much for listening and supporting the show. And I'll talk to you again next time. Bye and have a good week.