Connect Inspire Create

Digital Boundaries, Focus, Freedom with Kelsey Green

• Carol Clegg • Season 6 • Episode 193

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What if the simplest boundary—phone away, head up—could be the lever that changes your work, your relationships, and your peace of mind? I am chatting to speaker and community strategist Kelsey Green to unpack digital minimalism without the guilt trip, exploring how small, repeatable choices create space for deep work and genuine connection.

 Your attention is your edge; let’s protect it together.

We explore how intentional digital boundaries can restore focus, lift creative energy and rebuild in‑person community. Kelsey Green shares tools, stories and a simple structure that turns good intentions into repeatable habits and meaningful progress.

• digital minimalism as a path to focus and calm
• the dopamine cost of constant scrolling and pings
• simple baby steps like phone out of sight and screen‑free blocks
• evenings and mornings as anchors for deep work
• rebuilding in‑person community and conversation skills
• parasocial relationships versus real friendships
• accountability as fuel for consistency and momentum
• Summit in Six: community, accountability and focus to finish big goals

 https://www.kelseylgreen.com/Summit-In-Six

Summit in Six is a six-month, high-accountability mastermind for women entrepreneurs and creators. Each participant commits to one bold goal, like launching a podcast, writing a book, or starting a business, and achieves it through structure, support, and a force-multiplier community. The program includes twice-monthly group calls, momentum bonuses, and ongoing support to keep momentum high.


Where to find Kelsey

Website: https://www.kelseylgreen.com/

https://www.instagram.com/kelseylgreen/

 https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelseylgreen


Hello from your host, Carol Clegg – your accountability business coach for women coaches, entrepreneurs and small teams!

As a coach or heart led entrepreneur, you know all the right tools and strategies to support your clients—but when it comes to applying them to yourself, it’s easy to get stuck. You might find it hard to prioritize self-care, stay motivated, or maintain a positive mindset, especially when juggling the demands of your business. That’s where I come in.

I love helping women reconnect with their own practices. Together, we’ll explore what’s getting in the way, reignite your motivation, and put the right tools in place to support your well-being.

Visit carolclegg.com for more details.

BOOK your ✅ 30-minute complimentary exploration call HERE

Let’s connect on LinkedIn and Instagram, or join my LinkedIn Group Flourish: A Community for Women Business Owners







SPEAKER_00:

Just since that time, started taking these little baby steps to implement some of these digital boundaries and doing an experiment on my own mind of what it would look like if I did have great digital boundaries in my life. Would that change my ability to focus, the way I showed up for my family and my friends? You know, the way I felt in my body, right? That that kind of experience. And I am so delighted to report that it it does make a huge difference.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome everybody. You are listening to Connect, Inspire, Create, a space for women in business to gather fresh ideas, build momentum, and discover how growth feels lighter with clarity and connection. I am Carol Clape, your host, and let's get started. Joining me today is my guest, Kelsey Green. Welcome, Kelsey.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, thank you, Carol. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think this is a pretty important topic. So I'm pleased that we're going to be unpacking it with a kind of a positive spin on it. But let me introduce you. Kelsey is a speaker, a community strategist, and a facilitator of masterminds for women, creatives, and entrepreneurs. She helps people find focus, accountability, and connection in an age that seems designed to distract us. And right now, our topic and something that she is especially passionate about is digital minimalism. And that's such a mouthful, isn't it? But the idea that stepping back from screens can actually bring us closer to what matters most: our creativity, our relationships, and peace of mind. So we'll be talking about how to set digital boundaries that support, not sabotage, your business and well-being. Why structure can be a form of freedom? And what is really it taking to build meaningful community in a hyperconnected world. So, Kelsey, before we dive into our conversation, I had just wanted to give listeners a little glimpse of the person behind the bio. And I have a question for you. If we were sitting over coffee and I asked you what lights you up outside of work, what comes to mind for you first?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thanks, Carol. Well, again, delighted to be here. And I think that I would probably say being in relationship and in community in different ways, in different aspects, right? So I'm sure you have lots of really neat digital entrepreneurial spaces that you're a part of, as I am. That's so cool. But then also the various areas in life that we can find connection and community. So I'm part of a pickleball club, right? You know, I've been part of groups like Toastmasters and my volunteer work. Then I have clients, you know, of course, and just all of these different relationships across the spectrum. And really, you know, leaning into nurturing and growing these different relationships. And sometimes at the same time, you know, maybe uh moving in a different, different direction with certain relationships based on shifting values is always interesting, right? So I'd say just exploring what it means to be in community and be in relationship.

SPEAKER_01:

And I certainly think that is just such a critical element for all of us right now. There's too much loneliness. And I think that's you know, finding the the areas where we can connect, and it doesn't always have to be work, is vital. And they can be so surprising, the areas that I have to just share. I've just come back from Oceanside in California. And I was just amazed at the and it's a tiny little place right on the beach, but the people were so friendly and so genuine in their greeting and you know, just checking in that they were obviously living a slow pace of life and had time to connect, and it was just it was so precious. So I just I I appreciated that. But I'd love to just dig in a little bit. You call yourself a speaker and a community strategist. So community is absolutely a highlight word on digital minimalism. What drew you to this intersection of intentional living, community, and then these digital boundaries?

SPEAKER_00:

So my background, my master's and my undergraduate degree are both in environmental conservation. So I had done a lot of wildlife biology work. I had done work in the nonprofit sector, and then I moved into working with state and federal agencies. And, you know, the through line in all of this, even though I didn't recognize it at first, is these relationships that hold everything together and make things happen, right? And so I became very interested in community because I realized that in all of this work, it's these little sub-communities. You know, some might call them clicks, whatever, but just the way that things are operating and researching the types of different dynamics that people have when they come together, right? So that was always an interest. And when I launched as a consultant, I, you know, I was always always running these groups. I was always doing this facilitation, you know, in some capacity. And when I launched as a consultant, I fell into the trap that you may have fallen into. I'm sure some of your listeners have fallen into, where when you start getting clients, you can be very hyper-responsive to your clients. And you can fall into that trap of answering the phone at whatever time the calls come in, you know, email notifications, answering the emails, doing last-minute projects, not having any boundaries, right? And, you know, there's a place maybe to hustle and to do that. Sometimes I'm working in crisis situations, but there's there's some wildfires that happen in Washington State. You know, that's that's that's different. But in the day-to-day, you know, that I consider that to be a bit of a trap that people can fall into. And I'd say, and oftentimes in parallel, your personal life reflects that as well, where then you are just sort of on your phone all the time, you're starting to fall into that trap of scrolling and it's not really feeding you. And then, you know, you're looking at your phone all the time, right? They're just feeding each other. And I just found myself in that same predicament that a lot of us can find ourselves in and started wondering, you know, for a while I thought, okay, maybe I have ADHD. I'm having a hard time focusing, I'm having a hard time doing the deep work. And I did go to the doctor and ask, you know, like, do I need medication? What's going on? And thankfully, you know, she said, I, you know, I suspect that if you could try to find some ways to focus and kind of calm your mind, you know, do some more exercise and other activities, you might have an easier time. She didn't give me the digital boundaries talk then, but she sort of planted that seed just since that time, started taking these little baby steps to implement some of these digital boundaries and doing an experiment on my own mind of what it would look like if I did have great digital boundaries in my life. Would that change my ability to focus, the way I showed up for my family and my friends, you know, the way I felt in my body, right? That that kind of experience. And I am so delighted to report that it it does make a huge difference. So that's that's where I landed where I am today.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I love that that, you know, because it's so, I think we all perhaps have that concern. Oh my goodness, is this an ADHD tendency, myself included? And it's so interesting because my coaching background, we use the positive intelligence method, and part of that is doing it's almost little mindful exercises, and one of them is just simply rubbing your fingertips together to stop yourself, you know, even spiraling. But I use that to before picking up my phone because it's so easy as absolutely when you're in this world of, you know, WhatsApp for my clients, you ever and you want to be available and you want to participate and you want to send an emoji because they've done something clever or said something or you want to make the day happy. But it's like even just telling, okay, let me just close my eyes, rub my fingers together, and just for a moment, and then decide do you need to pick up your phone now? But there's so many things I'm sure that you've got to share with us, you know. But you mentioned the the real cost of always being on, that our dopamine reserves, oh my goodness, you know, so they get depleted and then they get filled up again. And so, what are some of the early warning signs that you and I probably both know, but that our digital habits are really draining us, and we think we're being productive.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, yes. Well, I just want to echo your point about the dopamine reserves and when you go foraging for that cheap, free dopamine, it really is depleting, you know, your resources in the same way that some other addictive behaviors are depleting those resources, right? And then, you know, when I when I basically stopped drinking, I had read about you know how addiction and alcohol, you know, there's a chemical component there, but it's actually changing your base baseline for what you find pleasurable. So things like a walk in the park, you know, might be less, less fun, less interesting. And so it's just just to point out that there it is something to take very seriously. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I I absolutely I hear you on that because it's it's just allowing yourself to rewire your neural pathways and recognizing that you you're changing yourself. And you, you know, you've got to come back to yourself, and it's not necessarily easy and it doesn't get done overnight. So if we we talk about the baby step approach, and so your approach, you say, isn't about throwing away our phones. And um, you know, so what are a few small, doable boundaries that listeners could experiment with to go, okay, let me just bring back my energy to me and reclaim some attention. What are some baby steps?

SPEAKER_00:

That's absolutely well, first I'll I'll you know speak to your earlier question, which was how can you tell? And then I'll go into some baby steps. So I'll just tell you a little story. I when I started getting really interested in this work, I started running a challenge which I have going currently, which is the screen free Sunday challenge. And I thought this was going to be honestly a little bit of a lame challenge. Like, well, of course we can all go screen free for 24 hours, you know. And it turns out that almost no one could. And I had, I was shocked. Like, I this didn't seem that challenging to me. Even though when I do it, I find it quite challenging and I have pretty strict boundaries around my digital use. And you know, I found it challenging. But some people can aren't used to going one or two hours without looking at screens. What's interesting is I ask people if you aren't sure if you have an issue, try to go, let's say 12, just start with 12 hours off your screens. And usually what people find difficult is that their screens are very integrated into their lives. So they're paying, you know, if they're watching their use, you know, everything's on the digital platforms. And, you know, that's that's just something to note and to question. If that's if that's okay with you, then, then great. But if it's something that you maybe want to question, you know, it's it's worth considering. But more so, do you have that compulsion to turn on a screen, to check your phone, to turn on a streaming service? I love podcasts, you know. So I love listening to podcasts in the background when I'm cleaning my house or, you know, doing dishes or going for a walk. But the question is, can you just be without these inputs for any stretch of time?

SPEAKER_01:

So interesting that you shared that because I used Insight Timer and Hitspace on my phone. And I laugh because I'm thinking that you have these meditation apps and we can't access them without being on our phone.

SPEAKER_00:

I love Insight Timer. Love it. Pay for the pro version, you know, and I'll I think I'll always have it. So I totally hear you. And when I I used to go to sleep and I had to listen to a meditation to fall asleep. And now, just as a little example, you know, I still do that sometimes. If I cannot sleep, I will do that. But what I'm trying to do now is reframe it into a time that I get to be with myself and think through the day and be in my own thoughts. When previously that would have been terrible. Like I don't want to be in my own thoughts. I want to have someone else's thoughts filling my brain. And, you know, a meditation app, I would argue, is much better than some of the other things you could have filling your brain, like doom scrolling before you go to sleep, you know, from your actual bed. But I've been trying to just be okay with sitting with my own brain. And that is, I think, you know, the goal. So to speak to your earlier question, baby steps, I'd say exactly what you said earlier about rubbing your fingers, these little moments when you feel yourself being drawn to checking, even though nothing's going on. I think the first step is awareness, right? So just being aware of what is happening, right? Okay, that's a good first step. And then pushing against it a little bit, right? So just I just read a study called the Brain Drain, an academic paper, and it talks about how if your phone is next to you, even if it's face down, if someone else's phone is is on the table, let's say if you're having a conversation, even face down, your attention is literally more fractured. So you are less able to focus. You know, these studies show this. And so physically putting your phone out of sight does wonders for your focus. And so I think these are good little steps. I'd say the next step is looking at setting some boundaries with your evenings and your mornings, right? We know, I believe that the evenings and the mornings are really setting the tone for the day and how you're showing up for the rest of the time. So for me, my goal is you know, I'm on the journey, it's not perfect. The goal is 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. off screens. That, you know, some days that feels like a very lofty goal. And I will note too that, you know, my mom has been experiencing some health issues. And so I have her as a breakthrough caller and my stepdad. If they call, it breaks through no matter what time it is. The ringer's on, you know, as high as it can go. So I will wake up, I hope, if that call comes through. So there's ways to mitigate against, you know, no calls or nothing coming through. But the goal is to be off screens for those 12 hours, with the exception of if I want to do some deep work or writing in the morning between like 5 a.m. and 7 a.m., I can do that or a deep work project, but I can't, you know, do the email-y stuff or admin stuff if I'm gonna be on my computer.

SPEAKER_01:

So that's what I love that because I I say that we're almost our most creative when we wake up in the morning. Our brain is rested. And so why give that away to checking emails? Oh my goodness, those can wait. And so I have the same thing. I use a trello board and I have these setup steps to start my day. And the first thing is at least give yourself 15 minutes to be creative. Do whatever you feel like doing. But I love I love that seven to seven. Oh, I could, I just it would be difficult, but as you say, you know, you've got to learn to lean into discomfort, haven't you? That uh, you know, what what does that look like? And give yourself time to sit in nature, to be bored, to not be connected. But I think discomfort, as as you've shared, is a very powerful teacher.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I I believe that for sure. And just to segue into the idea of community, you and I uh both probably belong to some really incredible digital communities, and I love that. I will say that once you start distancing yourself a little bit, you know, just setting some parameters around your use, if in-person community is one of your goals in life, this is going to help you get out, right? And create those other experiences. You know, I think the issue is not that we that we have these digital communities or these digital tools. Obviously, you know, we're connecting on here. That's wonderful. There's so many great things that can happen. I don't think anyone's argued that technology is, you know, has been blanket terrible for the world. There's some incredible things that have come from it, of course. The issue, I think, is that it's slowly starting to replace, you know, these in-person relationships. I mean, certainly especially for young people, unfortunately, but also for for adults, right? And and that can create that loneliness epidemic, both globally, you know, and at the individual level that that we have been experiencing.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I definitely, I know you've, you know, you we spoke about it earlier, but nurturing these deeper in-person communities again, yeah, is important. And we can tend to say, oh, we're too busy for them. But they are precious and they're important. Do you have any tips for people who are starting to want to get back into in-person communities?

SPEAKER_00:

So I, you know, I have this course called How to Build Your Circle. And in the early days of the course, I really focused on making friends as an adult, right? And I think we've we kind of lose that, you know, it just becomes a little more awkward sometimes, you know, as adults to make pals and very vulnerable. But what I realized in the different iterations of the course is that the digital boundaries plays a big piece in this. This is a big piece to the puzzle. And so, you know, I could go through all these various ways of, you know, making friends, you know. But I I will say again that I think that, you know, setting your parameters around your digital use. I just wrote a blog post about parasocial relationships and how I think this can be quite detrimental to your in-person community as well. And that is these, you know, connecting with fictional characters, right? Through like streaming sources. So it's not all the phone, it's like Netflix and the others, you know, all these other platforms that, you know, you feel like you know these people, you've you're connecting with them. They're kind of like your friends, you know, you're having dinner with them every night. And that can lead to not going out into the actual real world and making those pals out there. So that's that's another interesting element, I think, of the streaming platforms that's that's come about in the last whatever it's been.

SPEAKER_01:

And I was just thinking as you're sharing that, yeah, other steps that come from that, that the not to relearn, but to invite back in is listening skills. Because if we're digital, you determine when and who and how you're responding. And and you know, whereas if you're in person, you've got to come back to let me not complete your sentence for you, let me listen, you know, let me absorb. And then the other one is vulnerability, because we can also hide behind that and always present the happy side. Whereas if we're in person and someone can see the expression on your face in person, that's you know, there's a whole lot more to building relationships, which are things that we don't want to lose.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And I think one thing that's really important that I think we are losing is just these little interactions that we used to have more so at the grocery store, right? Or in your neighborhood when people weren't always just looking at their phones, you know. And I think a great way that I tell people to start practicing again is just to go chat up strangers, right? When you're shopping. And it can be the people that work at the store if you're really anxious about it, you know, asking them about products or the how busy the store's been or whatever, you know, just getting out there and practicing again, because especially, of course, after COVID, a lot of us were feeling a lot more anxious about these in-person interactions. And uh, you know, it probably goes without saying that a key to this would be to put your phone away when you're in public, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. Yeah, nothing worse than standing checking out and you're on your phone. It's just it's telling that other person they don't matter.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And it's so funny, right? Because, you know, I don't know what uh how many years ago, 10, 15 years ago, if you were at lunch with someone and you were and you were doing something else, it would have been so rude, right? You know, it would have been it's just like it's unimaginable. And now if you're at lunch with someone and you're on your phone, it's accepted. And I'd I I would like to, you know, revert to it being quite rude to be doing something else if you're trying to spend quality time with another person.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. No, I think this has been wonderful. Kelsey, I know that you have something called Summit in Six, and I'd love to just ask you to share a little bit about that. I'll make sure to put the link to that in the in the show notes. But tell us more about Summit in Six.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. Thanks, Carol. Well, I was drawn to you initially because I saw that you were an accountability coach. And, you know, the word accountability, I'm sure you've I'd love to hear your experience with people's perception of what that means. I really like that word because I'm trying to frame it in a way of looking at, you know, that intrinsic motivation versus that extrinsic motivation. But initially, I think it's wonderful to have a group of people or andor a coach, of course, to do these things together with and let the group motivate you, right? And that's that is the premise of Summit and Six. It's a cohort-based, time-bound mastermind, which is working towards one big summit. So one of the common goals is to finish a book, right? We know that the finishing the book can be quite a slog. So, you know, you have six months to finish the thing, you know, or maybe it's to finish a body of work for a gallery exhibit, or it can be to launch a business, whatever it is, you know, whatever your summit is. So we're doing it together. The the end goal is, of course, to reach that summit, but also to learn to be accountable to yourself. And I think, you know, there's three pillars to summit in six. The, you know, community, and that it's a digital community. So that's, you know, and that's great. Accountability, but then focus. And I use focus as a code word for the digital boundaries piece, right? Because that can that term can really freak some people out. But truly, I find that setting the digital boundaries helps you to do that deep creative work that usually it's going to take for you to finish the thing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more. You know, there's just so much in journeying together. And there's also that comfort in realizing you're not alone with your struggles and the thoughts that come into your mind that get in your way. You go, oh, somebody else has that. And then just saying it out aloud, I use a WhatsApp group to support my accountability group. And so I ask them to put their monthly goal within there and then ask for support. But just by writing it or sharing it or saying it, that others, you know, hear that you've got, okay, I'm, you know, can't let this go. So and it's just lovely to journey with somebody else. So, you know, accountability isn't as, you know, oh, you have to do this and you have to do the things you don't want to do. It's about picking what you do want to do and finding your path to get that completed and finding the joy along the way. So thank you. I will absolutely have that link. You have an application page there so people can find out more. And then I have your website, kelseylgreen.com. And then the best place on social is Instagram and LinkedIn. Yep. Yeah, and both are uh, you know, Kelsey L Green as the handle. So lovely. All right. Well, Kelsey, thank you so much for sharing and inspiring. And I hope that our listeners are gonna just take away a baby step to try. There's no harm in trying. So yeah, thanks to everybody for listening to the show today. And if today's conversation has sparked just a little touch of inspiration for you, I ask you to share this episode with someone else who you think might enjoy it. And this week, embrace your own way of connecting, inspiring, and creating, just like the name of my show. May your choices bring ease and flow into your world.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Until the next time.

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Carol Clegg

Host
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Carol Clegg

Host