Connect Inspire Create

Micro Moments That Prevent Burnout with Daniela Wolfe

• Carol Clegg • Season 6 • Episode 194

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What if burnout isn’t just about toxic workloads—but about the passions you love most? We sit down with burnout prevention specialist and self-care strategist Daniela Wolfe to unpack why going all in on your business, family, or mission can secretly drain your energy when boundaries fade. With clear stories and science-backed tips, Daniela shows how small, daily shifts keep your inner fire bright without burning you out.

• Burnout arising from passions without boundaries
• Stress vs burnout explained with a bonfire analogy
• Self-care as daily necessity using eight pillars
• One-minute practices to lower stress and build momentum
• Mindset reframes and creating new neural pathways
• Time planning with priorities and buffer space
• Boundaries as freedom and clearer availability
• Grace, tiny steps, and sustainable habits

Connect with Daniela Wolfe

 Free quiz for being on the brink of burnout 

Website -  https://www.bestdlife.com/

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Podcast Best D Life

Hello from your host, Carol Clegg – your accountability business coach for women coaches, entrepreneurs and small teams!

As a coach or heart led entrepreneur, you know all the right tools and strategies to support your clients—but when it comes to applying them to yourself, it’s easy to get stuck. You might find it hard to prioritize self-care, stay motivated, or maintain a positive mindset, especially when juggling the demands of your business. That’s where I come in.

I love helping women reconnect with their own practices. Together, we’ll explore what’s getting in the way, reignite your motivation, and put the right tools in place to support your well-being.

Visit carolclegg.com for more details.

BOOK your ✅ 30-minute complimentary exploration call HERE

Let’s connect on LinkedIn and Instagram, or join my LinkedIn Group Flourish: A Community for Women Business Owners







SPEAKER_00:

And when you look at it from these eight different pillars, I use actually like a wheel analogy, and how you roll through your day is then how you can find what I call micro moments throughout your entire day to implement these self-care practices. They can be done in as little as one minute, you can do 10 minutes. And studies have shown, you know, even the small, simple one-minute self-care practice that I can share with your listeners, it has scientifically been shown to lower your heart rate.

SPEAKER_01:

You are listening to Connect, Inspire, Create, a space for you to gather fresh ideas, build momentum, and discover how growth, both in your personal life and in business, feels lighter with clarity and connection. I am Carol Clegg, your host, and let's get started. Joining me today is my guest, Daniela Wolfe, burnout prevention specialist and self-care strategist. Welcome, Daniela. Lovely to have you. Thank you so much, Carol, for having me today. Absolutely. So Daniela hosts her own podcast, which we're gonna dig into at the end so that you can be sure to listen to her show as well. But I would just love to share an introduction. Daniela helps stressed and burnt-out professionals ditch the guilt and overwhelm and productively manage their time and daily tasks with ease so that they have space and energy for self-care every day. She has been a licensed master's social worker for over 27 years, working with individuals on self-care, stress management skills, mindfulness, relationships, parenting, and just managing all the chaos that life can send your way. She is also a speaker trainer, author of the book Balance Breakthrough, a practical guide for busy professionals to take charge of their work, life and well-being. And as I mentioned, the host of the podcast, Best D Life with Daniela. I love how you've chosen the D and it it threads through in everything that you do. So we'll we'll share some links and talk about that at the end. But having given the official introduction to you, Daniela, let's move into something a little lighter before we dig into what this all means. Absolutely. So if you and I were just sitting over a cup of coffee and I asked you what lights you up outside of work? What comes to mind? Or what would you like to share?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I I'm I'm obviously, you know, my family, my kids light me up, but personally I love to be outside. I love to stand up paddleboard. That's one of my favorite things to do. I've also in the last four or five years taken up sailing with my husband. He's been a lifelong sailor and he finally literally got me on board to journey with him places on the boat. And yeah, just being outside as much as I can.

SPEAKER_01:

So I'm guessing that you must live near a body of water of some sort, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, we're near Lake Ontario. So we love to sail around there.

SPEAKER_01:

Fantastic, fantastic. Well, just a little snippet in there. I actually raised my children on a sailboat. So if you have any questions, I go sailing. And we still own her. Yeah, and my daughter, who's turning 30, is looking at adventuring down and and perhaps taking her for a season and doing some sailing themselves. But yeah, it was it was quite a lifestyle, which I don't regret. But yay for you getting into sailing because it's so wonderful to be out on the water and the paddle boarding. So that's yeah, that's fabulous. So let's dig into this topic of burnout and the yeah, I talk about the hidden roots of burnout. And you've said in your notes that I had a look at that you often say burnout is caused by unexpected things. And what's one thing that surprises people most?

SPEAKER_00:

That it can actually come from your passions. People so many times associate burnout with something they don't like, a stressful job, some place they're unhappy. But if you think about it, the places we're unhappy, we set very clear boundaries. You know, if you're not happy at your job, five o'clock comes and you're out the door. But your passions, those are the things that you go all in on that you can really throw your boundaries out the window and spend all of your time in. But when you do that, a couple of things happen. Number one, it can be really isolating because again, you've gone all in, whether it's a business, your kids, a relationship. I remember talking to a new mom friend and she's like, oh my God, you're my first adult conversation in like two days because she was just so all in on her kids. As well as you ride those highs and lows so much more intensely because it's something you're passionate about, because you love what you're doing. And again, with those boundaries gone, you're spending way more hours than you would at something else. Plus, you're not necessarily as well-rounded. You think about when you go all in on something, you know, if you're in a relationship that you again go all in and throw your boundaries out, maybe you don't see your friends as much anymore. Maybe you're not doing the activities you like to do on your own because you feel like you need to be spending all of your time in that one passion area. And so just being aware that even the things you love, you can have too much of a good thing. You know, you can have too much ice cream, you can have, you know, you can work out too much, you can do too much of a good thing. And so you need to, again, kind of spread yourself out in other areas besides that.

SPEAKER_01:

That is such a refreshing and kind of encouraging because it's a whole new area to look at. Because I guess it gets so cliched when you go, you know, burnout belongs because you've just overstressed yourself, but taking a different look at it, get to we get to explore that a little bit more. But how does one tell the difference between being busy and being on the edge of burnouts?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, there's an analogy. I can't remember where I heard it, but I love sharing this analogy of the difference between kind of stress and burnout. Because I think a lot of times, you know, we're busy, we feel like we're just stressed, and it it clarifies, you know, that they're not exactly the same thing because people use them interchangeably. And so I want you to imagine a bonfire. I don't know if you've ever made a fire before outside in the woods and things like that, but you know, imagine you're stacking the logs on the fire and your fire's blazing really hot, it's orange, you're sitting off to the side and feeling that warm glow. And that can be stress, right? You're putting more things on the fire, you're putting more things on your to-do list. But if you don't allow some space for some air, for some breathing room, for some self-care, you know, that's where then burnout can happen. Because you think about it, in order for the fire to keep burning, it needs that oxygen, it needs that space. When you just keep stacking and stacking and stacking, then you get to that place where it's just those gray, ashy embers. You know, maybe you can fan it a little bit and get a little orange glow. Yep, but there is no energy left. There is no motivation left in you. There's no fire, there's no momentum, there's no energy left. And so being conscious of the fact that, you know, you can have lots of things going on. You can have that lifestyle where you're involved in many things, but you will need to allow for that space and air and breathing room and oxygen and in this case, self-care in order to keep from burning out.

SPEAKER_01:

That is just such a wonderful visual because absolutely a roaring fire, and then one that's battling and needing the air, and then that separation of going, yeah, they are two separate entities and not something to be combined together. You call self-care daily necessity, not a luxury. Yes. What does that look like in real life for a busy person?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think a lot of times self-care gets a bad rap because it's seen as fluffy, it's seen as a soft scale, it's seen as a nice to have and not a need to have. But self-care is just like eating, sleeping, and brushing your teeth. And you wouldn't eat once on Sunday and think you're not going to be starving by Tuesday. So you can't do just self-care once on the weekend and think that you're not going to be depleted and burnt out and stressed and, you know, lacking energy by the middle of the week. And so when I talk about self-care, it's not spadays and massages and bubble baths. And those things are great, but they're not necessarily doable on a day-to-day basis. And so I teach a very practical form of self-care that focuses on eight different pillars. And it's everything from how you eat, how you sleep, how you move, how you dress, how you decorate and organize your home, how you think about money, how you connect with others, as well as that traditional personal development like meditation, mindfulness, journaling, gratitude, and those types of practices. And when you look at it from these eight different pillars, I use actually like a wheel analogy, and how you roll through your day is then how you can find what I call micro moments throughout your entire day to implement these self-care practices. They can be done in as little as one minute. You can do 10 minutes. And studies have shown, you know, even the small, simple one-minute self-care practice that I can share with your listeners, it has scientifically been shown to lower your heart rate, lower your cortisol levels, lower your stress levels. And when you do these practices consistently, not only are you starting to then change how you're showing up, but you're you're changing your energy, you know, because you're it's not just about being calm and zen, it's about recharging the way you charge your phone throughout your day. It's your confidence, it's how you show up in everyday situation. And so, you know, the phrase self-care isn't selfish, it really does affect everybody else around you, how you work, how you create, and all those kind of things.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that, the fact that it's just so much broader so that it doesn't scare people away. Because as you say, that fluffy, all that other stuff, that's nice. But there's so many elements that you're gonna open up people's eyes to realize that there's just so much more. And you mentioned that was gonna be my my next question is how can someone start, if they're already feeling too exhausted, to add one more thing? And you mentioned you had one short thing that you could share. So I think this would be a perfect opportunity to share that.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. So this one minute self-care practice, we're gonna set a reminder to go off on our phone because if we don't schedule things, they don't necessarily happen. So set a reminder to go off. And then once that goes off, I want you to set a timer for one minute. And at that point, I don't want you to do anything else. Don't go scrolling on social media, don't throw a load of laundry in, don't respond to an email, but just sit for one minute. You can maybe focus on your breathing, do some box breathing. I actually heard a term called resonance breathing, is what they're calling it now. But you know, just intentionally focus on your breathing. You can do some shoulder shrugs and some muscle releases, you can drink some water, you can even just look outside and you know, start noticing things. And that, like I said, that one minute starts to make an impact. And if you even just set that reminder to go off five times, now you have a five-minute self-care practice. You get a dopamine hit from setting a goal and achieving it, as well as then you start to build that practice and that habit where you might be like, you know what, I got two minutes. Maybe I'm gonna do a little walk down to the end of the driveway and back. I've got three minutes. And so you start to build in these micro moments throughout your day where you start to see there's so many ways you can kind of seamlessly put them in your day without, quote, adding more, because that feels hard. That feels heavy, that feels like, oh my gosh, that's gonna break me. And it's not necessarily about always doing more, but doing it in a different way. Doing it with attention and intention is where you start to get those benefits from it. It can be as simple as, you know, you've got to go run some errands and go to the grocery store, park in the far parking spot. It might take a couple extra minutes to walk in, but you're getting those steps in. You might be outside, get some fresh air. You know, those types of little moments is where you start to then get the benefits where when something does happen in life, you're able to respond rather than react because you're not at that heightened, stressed state all the time.

SPEAKER_01:

It's that learning to pause. I love that because you're kind of using what you're doing already and then bringing that, folding it into it to be able to add more to it. So is what you're sharing with me part of this exhausted to empowered formula that you talk about?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So the self-care part is actually the third part of the formula. So many times people start with that action. They start with what should I do? But actually, the exhausted to empowered formula is based on three different pillars. The first one is your mindset, because when you think differently, you feel differently. And when you feel differently, you act differently. And so we need to add that mindset shift because if you're just doing the things, checking off the boxes, like, yeah, I did the yoga, I did this, I did that. But in your mind, you're either feeling guilty for taking the time or you're mentally still going through your to-do list, you're not going to get those benefits. We look at time planning because I don't believe you can necessarily manage your time because life takes over, but you can be intentional and plan and prioritize what actually needs to happen that day, maybe two to three things tops rather than a long-running to-do list. And then you leave some space and buffer zone for those micro moments or for life to happen and you know, so that you're not running late, you're not feeling overwhelmed and stressed without that space and breathing room between your activities. And then you add in that self-care. And so those three areas really work in conjunction with each other to create that lifestyle that you're looking for, that you, you know, other people make it seem like it's so easy and things like that. But it's it's a really intentional practice of piecing these areas together.

SPEAKER_01:

And that just it resonates with me because as a mindset coach myself, I realize the importance and it's a never-ending learning journey. So if for the listeners, how would you explain how mindset plays into this change?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, mindset, like I call mine the mean girls in my head. Mindset is that ongoing, running conversation that we are having all day long, that commentary. And for whatever reason, we are never as kind to ourselves as we are to everybody else, you know. And so we need to be more intentional. And sometimes some of those thoughts and mindsets are ingrained in us, you know, that you have to hustle hard to get ahead. You got to be available to show you're committed and dedicated to your company, you know, you've got to be a martyr to be a good mom. You know, you think of some of those things that might have been, excuse me, ingrained in us over time. And so it's about recognizing what's tripping you up, maybe what's causing the guilt, what's that negative expectation that you're assuming someone else is thinking about you or whatnot. And how can you start to reframe it? You know, we're creating now new neural pathways in our brain when we do these mindset practices. And so the science, again, I love analogies. It's kind of like you're going to go hiking in the woods. It's real easy to go down the path that's well-worn that you've been going on for years, that's well traveled. But when you're creating a new path, you need to practice. You need to, you know, go over and have that repetition in order for it to get well-worn, for it to be easy for your brain to kind of tap into when you're feeling stressed, when you're in that moment. And so, you know, that's where that mindset piece can really play a huge role.

SPEAKER_01:

It's so important because it's the stories that we tell ourselves. And if we don't challenge them and go, you know, where's the truth in that? Where's the fact? Just as you said, it's like a well-worn path. And if we have that capacity, which is such a gift, if you think about it, to be able to rewire your neural pathways, why not? Why not if that's going to bring some peace into your life? And then I also like to reflect on how that affects the people around us, because you know, you can go, oh, self-care is selfish and self-care is all about me. But when you take care of self-care and you take care of your mindsets, it's it's broader, the impact on the people you care about or your community. It's not a solo act.

SPEAKER_00:

And it teaches people how to treat you based on how you treat yourself, as well as, like you said, you're teaching others. You know, when I I unfortunately went through my own burnout about 20 years ago when my kids were really little, I was going through a divorce, single-working mom, and again, high achiever, trying to do it all, be it all, didn't want to ask for help and drove myself straight into a burnout. And over time, as I started these practices, not only was I showing up better, my kids were too, and it modeled for them how to take care of yourself with when you're stressed, how to treat yourself, how to, you know, put sustainable systems in place to manage day-to-day life. Because if we don't talk about it, you know, kids do what we do and not what we say half the time. And so again, you're teaching the people around you not only what they need to do, but how to treat you. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And the other thing to be aware of is our bodies, because we can only put them through so much, and then they're gonna say no more. And so listening to your body and then having these tools that you can bring into place, you're taking care of your health. You, you know, I mean, you're taking care of so much that it's packaged in that. So I know one of the things we talk about so often are boundaries. And I know that you've worked with many people who struggle to say no, and it's not a new concept, but what role do boundaries play in bringing this balance?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I I love boundaries. It's one of my favorite B-words. And I love talking about this work-life balance. I know a lot, not everybody loves the word balance because they're like, oh, you can't have everything equal. And I agree. When I talk about balance, it's not about everything being equal, it's how you adapt, pivot, have resilience and boundaries. And those four pieces together is where you start to feel that balance on a day-to-day life. You know, you're adapting to the different things you didn't expect that come up at the last minute. You have, you know, the ability to pivot and go in a different direction. Oh, my kid got sick. I have to call into work today and now do this today. That resilience of, you know, when hard things happen, not unpacking and staying there, but being able to bounce back. And then that boundaries part, not only a lot of times people assume it's a wall that it's saying no and that it's negative, but boundaries are actually so freeing for you and everybody else around you. Boundaries can be a yes. Boundaries create that space to not feel guilty. Again, one more analogy. You know, imagine you wanted to go to your favorite coffee shop and they didn't have their hours posted outside. And so every time you showed up, they were closed. You could never get in there. But just by simply having their hours of when they're available, that's so freeing for you and for them because you can plan your time accordingly based on what they're available for. As well as if you show up and you knew they were closed, you're not going to be mad at them. You're going to be like, oh, I can't believe. Yeah. And so when you communicate your boundaries, it's, you know, again, it could be as simple as an outgoing email, like, thanks so much for reaching out to me. These are my business hours. This is when I'll get back to you. So you don't feel like you have to keep checking emails or that you're letting anybody down. Again, communicating your boundaries. My kids knew, you know, my morning and my nighttime routine were my times, you know, and they knew, okay, she's doing her morning thing. We're not going to bother her right now. And it was, it wasn't, you know, I don't want to be around you. It wasn't a negative. It was like I'm doing something good for me so that I'm going to be in a better place for you and be totally focused and present when I am with you. You know, so having clear boundaries can be saying yes. You know, you think of a lot of times people ask for a lot of requests. It's not always about saying, oh no, I can't, or yes, I can, but thanks so much for thinking of me. This month isn't good. Can I do it next month? You know, so again, having that flexibility, that adapt pivot with those boundaries in a way that's going to work for you is how you find that work-life balance and flow that works for you. And, you know, some days might be super work heavy, some days might be super family or friends have heavy. And that's great as long as it flows in a way that works for you.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think, you know, just for those that are coaches that are listening, often we are so busy trying to be available for our clients and wanting to rescue or be there or encourage or you know, that those boundaries, letting people know. I mean, I myself, I love to work a Monday to a Thursday. Fridays, I don't, you know, I have a four-day work week, so I'm not available on a Friday. But just putting some of those boundaries in place for yourself helps you to be able to be a better coach and to show up for your clients.

SPEAKER_00:

Be a better friend, be a better partner, all of those kind of things because you won't have that resentment of you know feeling like you've you didn't make it onto your own list or you put yourself last.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. And yeah, and then just yeah, there's so much around that, but that's very encouraging. So thank you for sharing that. For somebody who's listening right now and feels stuck in this guilt or overwhelmed, what's one little tiny action they could take in the next 24 hours that would just help bring back some of that time and energy?

SPEAKER_00:

To to maybe focus on the word grace and learn to give yourself some grace. I think so many times we expect, you know, the this high level of perfection from ourselves, and yet we don't even see the benefits of grace. Grace allows us to take risks without being afraid of failure because that's part of the process. And actually, you can get further ahead the more risks you take by being comfortable failing. You know, you've heard people say, like, get a hundred no's, you know, get used to not getting what you want right away. When we're little, you know, like we didn't know how to walk, we didn't know how to ride a bike, we didn't know how to do all these things, but we we were okay with failing and trying again. And so giving ourselves that grace, you know, to take it one small, small step at a time. This isn't about overhauling your entire life, you know, but maybe sitting for again that one minute, it can be so uncomfortable because we're not used to doing that. We're used to always occupying ourselves in a certain way. You know, I grew up in a time period where being bored was it happened more often than it does now. You know, even just standing in line at the grocery store, you had to stand and wait. Now you get on your phone, you do all these other things. So just learning to sit with your thoughts and sit with what's coming up. And again, that grace of messing up sometimes and not being perfect and being like, you know, not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but being like, I'm gonna try again later today, I'm gonna try again tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01:

I like that. And that ties back in with that being kind to yourself, yes. Ums, giving yourself grace. That so I wanted to ask you, Daniela, the best place for listeners to connect with you or grab. I know I have a free resource that you were sharing, which is a quiz for being, are you on the brink of burnout? So tell me a little bit more about that, and I'll make sure to have the link in to that quiz.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a great free resource, just a little self-assessment to be like, where am I at? You know, am I just busy? Am I stressed? Or am I pushing myself to that point where I'm gonna lose all my motivation and momentum and that type of thing. And so it not only gives you a little gauge of where you're at, but also some strategies to start to move the needle in that direction. So that's on my website, bestielife.com. It's a great place to not only connect with me, there's a bunch of other free resources. You can access my podcast, my blog, and just reach out if you have any questions or if you're interested in the finding the book and kind of working yourself through the exhausted to empower formula. I put everything in there for you if you're kind of more of a do-it-yourselfer and also to connect if you have any questions. I love just having these free coaching calls to just meet and see where you're at. And sometimes, you know, you're doing better than you think. You just don't always realize it until you talk to somebody.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. You're doing better than you think until you don't realize it until you actually talk to getting it out there, just voicing it. So that's a wonderful offer. So I will make sure that I have all the links in the show notes, and then I have you on Instagram, I have you on LinkedIn and on Facebook, and then I'll pop your podcast link in there as well. So this has been a wonderful conversation, very inspiring, a nice, different look at burnout and stress that yeah, just is has been wonderful. So thank you. No, thank you so much, Carol. So to those, thanks for listening to Connect Inspire Create. And if today's conversation has sparked inspiration, I do invite you to share this episode. I certainly think it's a worthy one to share, for someone else who you think just might need to hear these words of encouragement. And this week, embrace your own way of connecting, inspiring, and creating, just like the name of my show. May your choices bring some ease and flow into your world. And if you are a woman coach or a business owner, just seeking a little area of balance, clarity, and some mindset shifts, I'd love to support you. So I invite you to join my free monthly mastermind, mindset to momentum. You'll find me on LinkedIn at Carol Clegg or at my website at Carolcleg.com. Until the next time.

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Carol Clegg

Host
Head Shot

Carol Clegg

Host