58. Harp Seal and Elephant Seal

The Holiday season is here! And for the last four weeks we have taken some weird looks into some weird Winter wonderland animals of the world. Today is the last of our four week journey into the chilly world of wildlife as we head to the ocean to learn about the cute adorable harp seal and the weirdly nosed elephant seal.

We learn; the differences between true seals, sea lion and walruses, the 3 very useful uses for blubber and just why the heck those giant ass elephant seals have that wacky and weird nose.

Scientific Names:
Harp Seal: Pagophilus groenlandicus
Northern elephant seal: Mirounga angustirostris
Southern elephant seal: Mirounga leonina

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Transcript

Here we are. We’ve done it! Not only have we made it to the final episode in our 4 week weird winter wonderland series but we’ve also made it to the last episode of 2021. But don’t worry, as there will be plenty of more weird animal facts for you in 2022. We will be back at our normal weirdness on Tuesday January 18th, so until then you’ll just have to find your own weirdness. But to help you with some weird inspiration, here I am, Deidre, your holiday elf here to educate you on my vast knowledge of weird! Having worked as a zookeeper for ten years I have a great big weird understanding of the animal world, and having been an educator and have been raised by educators I like to think that I do a pretty decent job at teaching, even if its in a not so kid-friendly way. I should point out that when I work with kids I am always G rated…okay maybe PG, but just like how Santa only comes down the chimney when the kids are in bed, this podcast comes on in the shadows of your much needed adult time. So sit back relax (unless your driving, then be alert), as we dive on in to learn about two very blubbery species thzt occasionally call the cold water and ice home: the harp seal and elephant seal.

Before we jump into things, I would like to take just a few moments to thank all of you who have reached out telling me how much you love this podcast: Greg, Jason, Kelsey, Tyler, Martha, Stella, Vinci, Cayce, my mom, my roommate; thank you all so very very much! It’s nice to know more than just the echo of my voice out there. Also, to all of you new weirdos out there who have just discovered the wonder of the weird thank you so much for tuning in; if you haven’t already be sure to follow us on our multiple social medias and if you find that you love this podcast then please rate and review the show wherever you listen (or share it with someone you love; which might be a good idea especially if you haven’t gotten them a holiday present yet this year). And to show my appreciation to all of you, here is the reason why you all come: I hope this episode gets your “seal” of approval! Get it!? Because we’re talking about two seals today!

Just what is a seal? What’s a sea lion? And what’s a walrus? Is there a different? You bet your fat-on-Christmas-fudge-ass there is! First, what’s the same? Pinnipeds! NOT pedipalps (you know the two cute little arms spiders have). No, we are talking about pinnipeds (PINNIPEDS!!). That’s the clade meaning that seals, sea lions and walrus have all evolved from a common ancestor. But where they differ is the family (Kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species). They are all in the class of mammals and they are all in the order of carnivora and they are all in the clade of pinnipdia but they come from different families. 

Fun Fact: The Latin word pinniped translates to mean feathered foot… but pinnipeds aren’t birds, they don’t have feathers, unless they eat a bird, then they’ll have feathers in their belly. No. The name comes from their feet which are flippers, but not smooth and sexy like a dolphin, their feet look somewhat frilled at the end, like wings. 

Double Fun Fact: Some pinnipeds species even have claws at the ends of their flippy-flaps….I mean flippers. 

Sea lions and fur seals are in the family: otariidea. And the main thing to remember about them is that they have ear flaps. Next, we have the walrus, who is in their own family of odobenidea and they should be easy to distinguish as they have murder teeth. Or tusks. (That was the only thing missing from the Fleetwood Mac album: walruses). Today we will be talking about the true seals! Or hair seals. As both the harp seal and elephant seal are Phocidae! AKA true seals. Take that San Francisco, you guys ain’t got nothing but a bunch of fakes!

What makes a true seal true are a couple things: one, unlike the sea lions of the San Francisco pier, true seals don’t have ear flaps. But they do have ears! Their ears just happen to look like they got shot with a BB gun in the side of the head. The other characteristic that can help you tell a true seal from a sea lion or a fur seal (and I know fur seal, haired seal, they are different, try not to get confused!). Sea lions and fur seals have very dexterous hind-flippers. If you’ve ever got to an aquarium and there was as seal looking thing that was walking around kissing people and being silly; that was a sea lion, as they have hind-flippers that can rotate under their body that allows then to look like they’re sort of walking like a dog. 

On the other hand, we have the haired seals (AKA true seals) whose hind-flippers can’t rotate, meaning when they are on land they move like a chunky caterpillar, or like Ariel on land before Ursula gave her legs. She’d be pretty much just be dragging her back half around. 

I wanna be where seals are

I wanna drag my back feet around

Not like those, what do call ‘em? Oh sea lions.

Feathered fins are called pinnipeds

Ears are required but without a flap

Trying to survive on; what’s that stuff melting? Ice!

Hind-fins can move, just not as much

That’s the life of a true seal in the sun

Chunky and free wish I could be

A pinniped

Jumping back to the families and why they are is different families. Well that my friends actually comes down to who they descended from. Wait. Since true seals, sea lion/fur seals and walruses are all in the same clade of pinnipeds, we already know they come from a common ancestor. You’ve already spent multiple episodes this season talking about clades. We get it. Clade’s have a common ancestor. So then how can they come from different descends if they have a common ancestor! Calm down. I’m just giving you information; you don’t have to pop a zit. You see the clade is referring to their common ancient ancestor from around 36 million years ago. But since then that common ancient ancestor evolved more creating different branches on that taxonomy tree. Such as a bear-like ancestor and a weasel-like ancestor. Its thought that the true seals descended from a weasel-like ancestor while the sea lions descended from a bear-like ancestor. Get it. They may have all originally started as one thing those 36 million years ago, but a lot has happened since then, including adaptions and further evolution. Giving us these now distinct and different family groups within the pinniped clade. 

Think of is like how us, humans and chimpanzees have a common ancestor but we didn’t evolve from chimpanzees. From that ancient ancestor both us, humans, and chimpanzees branched off in different directions from that once common ancestor. That’s evolutionary biology in a nut shell! Moving on.

**Harp seal: Think of the cutest think you’ve ever seen! Then multiple that cuteness by a bazillion! That’s a baby harp seal! The babies are white fluff balls with piecing black eyes that you just can’t say no to! And yes, arctic foxes are fucking cute, but this baby harp seal is also a baby; meaning those piecing black eyes are giant! And some scientist believe that babies have evolved to have big puppy dog eyes so to appear cuter making mommy and daddy and all us softhearted humans weak at the knees and want to protect them. Therefore, you could argue that a baby harp seal is cuter than an arctic fox. But I’ll let you be the ultimate judge. 

There are 19 species of true seals, including the harp seal and our later to discuss elephant seal. And yes, the other sea babies can and are considered to be cute, but it’s the harp seal that has the long fluffy white fur. The others, such as the harbor seal (I know, it sounds the same, by they are different) has nowhere near the amount of fur as the harp seal pup, plus most of the harbor seal babies are somewhat spotted, but of course that depends on individuals. Where are the harp seal babies are all equally cute! 

To see a baby harp seal, does involve a bit of travel and a bit of cold. Not only that but ice. Remember; seals are mammals, meaning they need to breath air. And unlike whales, dolphins and porpoises, seals aren’t giving birth in the water.

Fun Fact: If you’re a pregnant mama looking into alternative birthing options then consider the ways of the whales as a water birth is said the decrease labor pain and isn’t suppose to take as long. Just something for you mermaid mothers to consider. 

But if you’d like to take after the ways of the seals (which is not recommended for humans) then swim up to the North Atlantic and Arctic Ocean around late February so to find yourself your own private floating pack ice delivery room. 

Let me ask you something; what color is ice? And what color are baby harp seals? WHITE! Wow! What amazing camouflage, from such a tiny creature. Okay so maybe not tiny as a new born is as heavy as a car tire and be as long as a baseball bat. After that, that cute chunk of a baby only gets chunkier. For nearly two weeks this baby is drinking some very high-fat milk before it starts to lose that white fur for a more traditional seal look of grey with some spots. But why does mama harp seal spend so long feeding the baby that high-fat milk? Most humans shop for the low-fat version of everything. Why high-fat? Because when it gets cold outside, fat goes along way.  Trust me I know. I have no fat and I am always cold! If only I had some blubber.

Blubber: excessive fat on the body.

Fat blubber girls make the icy world go round.

Most of us already understood that blubber is what helps to keep many marine mammals warm in the cold iciness of the chilly ocean. And that blubber is so important that animals like the baby harp seal can gain 5lbs a day until they have more than doubled in size thanks to that blubber. But how does blubber actually keep an animal warm? 

-It’s now time for Actually Actual Facts, with me Ashley! Hi nerds it’s your girl Ashely here with some actually actual facts about blubber. When most people meet me they think that a girl like me would actually hate the idea of blubber, but actually blubber can be very beneficial, especially for many of those marine mammal who spend most of their time in the water. Because blubber helps them survive. There’s actually some marine mammals like the sea otter who actually keeps warm with thick fur, but there actually a small later of blubber there too. But for those not so furry marine mammals, like the seals, blubber keeps them warm and blubber actually is a bit different then fat. Yes, blubber is fat like, but difference between blubber and fat is the consistency and blood supply. 

Okay so, blubber actually has a lot more blood vessels in it then just normal fat and blubber is actually thicker than fat. And those blood vessels are what is actually helping to keep these marine mammals warm. Remember; mammals are actually warm blooded, that means that internal body temperature actually needs to stay the same temperature all the time. When its warmer out mammals bodies, like ours, has an easier time keeping our core temperature right where it actually needs to be; meaning we actually use less energy. But when its cold outside and we are actually dressed properly then our mammal body has to work even harder, using more energy to keep our core at the right temperature. But because blubber has more blood vessels then normal fat; when it gets cold those blood vessels in the blubber actually constricts, meaning they get small, and that actually reduces blood flow meaning that less energy is being used to keep the blood warm. That, is actually how blubber works; less blood makes it to the surface of the skin where its colder meaning the cold outside isn’t cooling as much blood meaning that the body won’t have to work as hard to warm back up that cold blood. It actually all comes down to blood vessels! That is why I am on the blubber boat. Why don’t you nerd join me. This has been actually actual facts with me Ashely, bye.

-

 Yes, blubber is a wonder when it comes to keeping marine mammals warm but blubber ain’t just a one trick pony. Blubber does no much more! 

Under that sexy layer as skin is where blubber lives. And that’s a good place for it so to help keep all those vital organs nice a warm. As a baby harp seal, they don’t have all that blubber yet, hence why that cute adorable white fur is also important; that is until they get all that blubber warmth and can shed that white coat. 

Some animals, like camels, don’t necessarily have blubber, at least that’s not what it called, but what that camel does have is a hump that’s filled with fat (NEWS FLASH people! Camel’s humps aren’t made of water, its fat!). And since blubber is also fat, we could just say that the camel has the summer version of blubber. But why does a camel have fat? They don’t need to keep warm. Well in the hot desert where many camel species are native, a camel can go up to 15 days without water; whereas we wimpy humans can only go about 3 days. Again; its not water that’s in the hump is fat and it’s the fat in the hump that the camel is able to transfer into energy so to survive so long without water. Meaning fat can also store energy. And do you remember who else has fat? SEALS! We just call is blubber! 

But the power of the blubber has one more amazing super power that comes in very handy for our marine mammals. 

Marine: of or relating to the sea

And since we’re talking about marine mammal (mammals of the sea), one thing that any sailor will tell you is that if you expect to survive in the harsh waters of the world then you’re going to have some buoyancy. Not Beyonce, buoyance.

Buoyance: the tendency of a body to float or to rise when submerged in fluid

Yes I am sure Beyonce is buoyant but not to the extreme of marine mammals. 

Wait! Didn’t you say blubber was fat? And for us humans, fat add weight to your body. And if you weigh more then you’ll sink faster…right? Wrong. Just because someone weighs more doesn’t mean they’ll sink faster. I know, without even testing this, that Lizzo is a thousand times better at floating in a pool then I am. No just because she’s fantastic as everything she does but fat is less dense than muscle. Me, I’m nothing but skin, muscles and bones; meaning I am high in density; therefore, can’t float very well. And since most marine mammals are filled with blubber they float very nicely.

There you have it! Blubber helps with buoyancy, insulation and storing energy. And that storing energy comes in very useful especially for that baby harp seal. For the first few weeks of the baby harp seal’s life, its nothing but the deliciousness of mama’s fatty tasty milk! Then once that baby is weened, mother peace’s out leaving this lone baby stranded on the ice for up to 6 weeks. And why about 6 weeks? Does mom come back? Nope. I guess it takes baby harp seal about 6 weeks of not eating anything, and only relying on their storage of fat, to mustard up enough courage to finally enter the water in search for food. During which time they can lose up to half their body weight…it’s a tough life being a baby harp seal. If only those cute puppy dog eyes worked better on its mother. 

The other animal on the ducti for today also has cute puppy dog eyes, but those are very often missed by the much more promenade nose.

***Elephant seal. Seeing that not that long ago we talked about two other animals that have some resemblance to an elephant seemed only right that during this winter seal episode that we talk about the one seal that not only looks weird but also looks kind of like an elephant; that is if that elephant lived in the ocean and was more of dick.

First, I’d like to let you know that there is a lot of weird shit that’s going on with the elephant seal. The first being…well, everything! These guys are giant. They are the largest seal species in the world and a large male can literally be the size of an SUV.  Keep in mind that the big guys are in fact guys as the males are much larger then the males and there are two species of elephant seals: northern and southern. That’s easy enough…although we’ll see how I fair at their scientific names: 

Scientific names are hard:

Harp Seal: Pagophilus groenlandicus
Northern elephant seal: Mirounga angustirostris
Southern elephant seal: Mirounga leonina 

Back to the facts. The smaller Norther elephant seals; as you can guess, live in the north, from Baja California to Alaska. The larger southern elephant seals range from Antarctica to the southern point of South America and there have been some reports in South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. But where the northern elephant seal is smaller they do have a bigger trunk! That’s right the elephant seal is called an elephant seal because of the long proboscis on their face. I will do my best to describe what this proboscis of a nose looks like but if you’d like to see it for yourself or see if I’m doing it any justice then check out our Instagram @wafpodcast. This nose…well the male’s nose as the female, does have an unusual nose, her nose doesn’t quite look like an elephant. And to be honest, neither does the males. But it is a nose that’s long, looking more like a fat-floppy-stout-air-filled sausage then that of the long dexterous trunk of a true elephant. Where as the female elephant seal’s looks like a normal seal whose nose got stung by a bee.

Even though the norther and southern elephant seals have some differences, they do both have males and females and the males both have very weird yet useful snoots that become even grander after puberty. Appearing to be more balloon like and inflating only to dangle like an unexcited penis, the nose will hang past the bottom jaw nearly 8 inches. And the bigger the nose the better! Think if human puberty was like this. Instead of the guys with the biggest dicks being the biggest and strongest, it was the guys with the largest noses; meaning Jews would run the world…they already run Hollywood, what’s next? 

As straight women we aren’t necessarily looking for the guy with the largest nose or dick, we also care about the best property! That is if you’re a female elephant seal. Typically, it is the male with the largest nose that gets the best property and all the ladies. And I do mean all! A very sexy, proboscis male can have a harem of over 50 females. But its not like the Sultans of the Ottoman empire who kept his collect of female out of the reach of others with an army of soldiers and walls. No, elephant seals keep their harems on the open beach; sure I guess they could hire an army of birds to help protect their harem, but they don’t. The job comes down to that one giant male to fight off all of the other, not so giant males, who are horny and looking for love. 

The bull who’s the owner of the harem has a very important job of keeping back all the less fortunate males who will try to sneak their way into a lady’s blubber. That means the sultan of the harem must chase off competitors, roar at them like a seventh grader’s fart machine played through a Darth Vader vocal box and them if it comes down to it fight! And fighting may also be another benefit to all that blubber. As the males will bite each other and if you’re going to get bit wouldn’t you rather it be blubber then your rib cage? I don’t think either feels that great. Plus, they can also die…

Let’s take a step back that deep booming weird fart roar of the male elephant seal. Their call is powerful and loud. And quite humorous if you ask me…or anyone with a six-year old’s sense of humor (elephant seal call). The reason for that hilarious loud call is a result of that nose. In side that fleshy fortress are cavities that help to resonant sound, causing their call to go booming for miles! But that’s not all that amazingly weird of the male elephant seal does. It also helps out during fasting.

As mentioned the females don’t have that unfortunately looking nose and it might because they don’t have to fast as long as the males. Females will fast during time of having and weening their young. Which is only about 8 weeks. After which time she dives back into the water for some much needed food. As for the males, their fasting during the mating season can last 3 months! Think about it if they left then they give up prime real-estate that another big nosed bloke could just take. Because of that, that male has to not eat so that he can protect his harem. 

And now its time for: would you rather. Where you ask yourself: would you rather? Would you rather have copious amounts of sex for 3 months on an empty stomach or would your rather eat? Basically, we’re asking you: what do you find more important: sex or food? 

But how does that nose help in their fasting? Being a sea animal the elephant seal can’t really drink sea water…because of all the salt. There’s a reason why in all those stranded on an island movie they say don’t drink the salt water. Its too salty. And since elephant seals don’t have the magic of plumber, they get their water from the food they eat.

Fun Fact: elephant seals are some very deep divers, when compared to other seals. They dive more then 1,500 meters, making one of their most favor meals to be squid!

But in those 3 months of fasting, they aren’t getting any food or water. And water tends to be more important than food since its said; for us humans, we can survive 3 weeks without food but only 3 days without water. So to keep in moisture and not dehydrate during all that sex and keeping back all those sex predators, that nose has a special ability that helps to keep in water.

Did you know what breathing is a great way to get dehydrated? At least for us humans. We kind of such at keeping in moisture; that’s why we have to eat and drink water all the time. But for an elephant seal they have a temporal counter-current exchange mechanism: which I know makes it sound really super complicated. But what this does is minimize the amount of water that’s loss through breathing. Each day, just from breathing we lose about 1 cup of water. And remember that 1 cup is just from breathing meaning we aren’t talking about peeing or sweating, but from doing that one thing we have to do to survive. Breathing. For an elephant seal, as they exhale, instead of loosing that moisture in our warm air like us, that air (that has moisture in it), goes across a cooled nasal turbinate surface (Fyi turbinate surfaces are those boney structures inside the nose). As the warm, wet air is exhaled and when it goes across the cool boney structures; water is then created! Think of the water cycle of how gases can turn to liquid to give us rain. When the warm air from the lung touches the cool temperature of the boney nose it turns that warm breath into liquid! And if you don’t believe me that your breath has moisture in it then go breath on a window. That cloud that’s left over is from the moisture in your breath. Why do you think they want us to wear masks all the time? We’re all just breathing spit on each other.

Speaking of water: Even though we’ve talked a lot about elephant seals being on land, the truth is they spend the majority of their life in the water: like up between 85-95% of their time in the water. The only reason we spend all this time talking about elephant seals on land is because that’s where we live. It’s a lot easier for us to study something that’s right in front of us, verse rent the equipment needed, make sure that equipment works, get the proper permits, might need to learn how to swim, or at least invest in a life jacket, probably will need to hire a boat captain and a boat, oh yeah and watch out for ocean pirates. Its just easier to go to the beach and press record on your camera phone then to do all that. 

There’s a lot things we don’t know about the natural world; from what exactly elephant seals are doing in the water all day, why the baby harp seal is so damn cute and why it makes some of us angry (Why can’t I be that cute?). But what we do know is that there are things we can do to help these wonderful mysterious critters. As we mentioned in emperor penguin episode by becoming aware of what seafood is safe to eat you can help protect those other animals who depend on the ocean for their next meal.  Another thing you can do, especially if you’re looking for that last minute holiday gift is to go to your local aquarium’s website and click on adopt an animal. From there you can chose which animals you’d like to support, and in most cases, depending on how much money you chose to support with you not only will give proof of your wonderful deed, but you’ll also get a stuffed animal of the animal you’re helping to save. Then all you have to do is wrap up that stuffed animal, with the certificate stating that you have “adopted” an animal and give that to someone you love! It may seem like a small insignificant gesture, but who know, maybe by this gift of and adopted animal you spark a new interest in that person, which means, that person will continue to share their new love with everyone they meet, meaning even more people will care. And by caring we can save the world for wildlife. 

If you don’t have an aquarium near you then even zoo membership, or by giving the give and an annual pass to local state parks or even national parks is a great way you can spread your weird love for wildlife with all the people you love.

Before we go for this holiday season I want to again thank everyone for listening and sharing this podcast with the weirdos in your life. And also to remind you that we are going to be taking a break for the holidays since all I’ll be doing is catching up on eating and drinking: how else is one supposed to get into the holiday spirit. But don’t worry I’ll be ready to go with brand new, and even more weird animal facts episode for you come the new year. Turn back in on January 18th and until then I hope you have a wonderfully weird winter holiday! Stay weird!