086: Becoming Your Own Healer with CynTara Sanders

On today's episode, Chelsea is joined by special guest CynTara Sanders. Cyntara is a spiritual healer and life coach who empowers people to step out of the victimhood paradigm and into the limitless realm of co-creatorship. As a survivor of complex sexual abuse trauma, CynTara is truly an example of how anyone can take the reigns of life and become their own savior.

Cyntara Sanders is a Houstonian who has seen and experienced many types of life journeys. She was married for over 13 years, currently divorced with two adult children. Cyntara is a sexual abuse survivor who wrote a story about some of her childhood in an anthology called Stories are Medicine, now sold on Amazon. In her search to truly heal her soul, she began journeying deeper into healing modalities such as Reiki, Kemetic Yoga, and Shamanism. Cyntara realized as she was healing herself she wanted to guide others to their own empowerment. Her beliefs are that as we heal we make the world a better place.

Resource mentioned (Oprah Show Interview):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMrkqLVjoE0&ab_channel=OWN

Connect with CynTara Sanders:

• CynTara's website: www.cyntarashealinghouse.com
• Purchase CynTara's book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B2TNC37J

Follow The Soulful Self Podcast on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/thesoulfulselfpodcast/

Follow Chelsea Cora on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/iamchelseacora/

Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/qjHTYpokWco

Transcript

Chelsea Cora: 0:05

Hello and welcome to the soulful self podcast. I'm your host Chelsea chorus. This podcast is a resource for all spiritual beings to grow personally, heal emotionally and align with our highest spiritual evolvement no matter what this human experience throws our way. Thank you so much for being here. Now let's get started. Hello to my wonderful listeners and viewers. Welcome to the soulful self podcast. I am your host, Chelsea Cora and today I'm super excited because I have the absolute honor and privilege of interviewing advanced Reiki practitioner and spiritual life coach Centara Sanders Centara is a personal friend of mine who I met recently, during a six month long shamanic practitioner training in which we both participated. And throughout that time, I got to know Sentara on deeper levels and understand more about her personal journey in this life, which is one of immense trial and triumph. Sin Tara is a survivor of complex sexual abuse trauma, and has spent a large portion of her adult life healing from that trauma and also embracing her spiritual gifts her gifts as a spiritual healer. And today's interview is so special because she shares so open heartedly with us a lot about what happened during those traumatic years of her life, how it influenced her adulthood, which modalities were helpful for her to heal. And she talks about what it's what it was like to step out of that victimhood perception of moving through life and into becoming her savior. We cover a lot of ground in today's episode, and this episode is truly inspiring for anybody listening. Whether you are a survivor yourself of sexual abuse, you know somebody who is, or you are like every other human being on this planet who has undergone dark times a dark night of the soul at one point or another in your life hearing house and Tara has overcome and risen above circumstances in her life and the way that she is sharing her light today is motivation and inspiration for all listeners across the board. So without further ado, let's go ahead and jump into today's episode and hear from our very special guest, Miss Centara Sanders. Then Tara Sanders, welcome to the soulful self Podcast. I'm so excited to have you here today. How are you?

CynTara Sanders: 2:56

I am amazing, Chelsea, thank you for having me.

Chelsea Cora: 3:00

Yay. Absolutely. So we're gonna jump right into things and get started with an icebreaker question that I asked all of my guests, which is to describe a little bit about your background and cultural upbringing.

CynTara Sanders: 3:14

Okay, um, I am a proud Houstonian so born and raised in Houston, Texas, all of my young 46 years of life and so my upbringing was living in what we would consider a dysfunctional family. I am a sexual abuse survivor. So I was sexually abused by my father early on in life. I thought it was at the age of five. But when I started doing some healing work, I realized it was earlier than that, like two, but anyway. But I lived in a household where my mother was young, I think she had me at around 17 and she worked she used to catch the bus and work and my dad would take care of me and my sister and and after some time, he left the household and so my mom was a single parent raising kids, you know, alone. So, yeah, I remember times where we were going to Baptist Church. So we had some forms of religion there. And latchkey kid, you know, a young age coming home alone, having to you know, care for my younger siblings. And you know, because I was the oldest So, but yeah, lived a very modest life. Not very wealthy at all, but all our needs were always met. And we always looked neat. In well kept, but yeah, live in a pretty dysfunctional, you know, household. Hmm.

Chelsea Cora: 5:09

Okay, well thank you so much for sharing and getting that topic open because one of the reasons why I wanted to have you come on this podcast and why I think you're such a light and inspiration in this world is the background and story that you do have regarding sexual abuse and becoming your own savior. I read your story, which was published in bookstores are medicine, and you go into detail about those traumas and how you have overcome them. And I'm wondering if you would be willing to dive a little bit more deeper into that context for listeners now about some more instances where that trauma happened for you. So we can kind of get the background laid out and then talk about how you have overcome that in some tremendously spiritually healing ways.

CynTara Sanders: 6:04

Okay, um, so I talked about in the book when I was five years old, because growing up and becoming a teenager, and adult, all these things, that story continue to circulate in my mind, like, it's like a movie, over and over and over about when I was this little girl at five, being sexually abused by my dad and ask him for food and had to do a sexual failure before I could get this food and go swimming. And it just kept coming up, kept coming up. And, and so some things as I journey through life I had forgotten about. And then there was a time where I was taking a shower, and so many memories that came back, right. And so in life, I could never escape my story. You know, I had a stepfather who I thought this was my brother said, and this man came into my life later. And I thought, okay, got a dad now, you know, and I remember, like, it was yesterday, you know, when He abused me. And I thought that that would never happen again, because I didn't think anybody else would see me in that. Right, right. And when that happened to me again, I was like, What the hell you know, was only put on earth for me and to take advantage of me to have their way do whatever they want. I was very broken young girl, I had a lot of self hatred. For myself at the end. I didn't at that time. I didn't know that. That's what that was. So when I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't see a beautiful young lady. I didn't see anything but worthlessness. Then later on in life, went to church, but let me back up. So for I got some church though. So I ended up getting dropped out of high school. getting my GED. I think the highest grade I completed was eighth grade. I went to the library, I went to high school. And I don't think I finished the whole semester. Because at that time, when I went, I had seen my dad another time, and I ended up moving in with him. At this time, my mom knew what he had done. But as a child, you have unconditional love for your parents. And I thought he wouldn't do that again to me, right. So when that happened again, when I went to live with him, I came back home, start high school, couldn't do it just wasn't in a great mental capacity, because for the last time sexually abused again by my dad. So by this time, my dad and my stepdad and my dad again, right, so I go to job or get some skill sets, I get a GED, I come back home. You can like get into a whole nother world. And this world was about dancing. I got into dancing.

Chelsea Cora: 9:21

I started dancing,

CynTara Sanders: 9:24

which led to six work. And before I got into that I saw this movie called Pretty Woman. Classic. Yeah, and pretty woman. I think I was about 18 or 19 When I saw that movie, and it was just so glamorized and it looks like a woman that was in power. Like, she used her body to empower herself to take care of herself. Right. And so I thought at that time, that looks very appealing me. And no healing. taken place in my life, I was just out here by myself trying to figure it out. And so I went into that world. Oh, boy, when I was in that world, if initially, to me, it was fun. I mean, I never got high and drunk alcohol, I was doing this type of things, just on a natural basis, meaning that I wasn't, I wasn't on any drugs.

Chelsea Cora: 10:28

So that this, okay, during the sex work world, sober and this can look different for so many people. I know, whenever I did sex work, it looked like me doing it at the strip club. But I think that was your story, it was more of an exclusive place where people would go there just for this service. Is that accurate?

CynTara Sanders: 10:47

That's accurate. And also, what was very interesting is that I didn't have sex that much. It wasn't much of that. I wish people would come in, and then it would be a some kind of healing session, it would be like a talk therapy. And I was like, What is this, you know, which was fine with me, you know, and I think a lot of these men were needing to be seen needing to be heard, needing to feel love, or whatever, I don't know. But for the most part, I didn't have to do too much of it. Which was very interesting. I remember two occasions, though, which led me out of that lifestyle. And at that time, I think I was about 19, or 20. When I did live that lifestyle. I didn't stay in it for long, less than two years. But when I was out there, I was like a single independent person. I had people, women asking me to be their pimps. And I was like, no, because I don't do that on my hands. You know what I mean? So they wanted me to be their mme I guess.

Chelsea Cora: 12:05

So you must have been quite the role model for them. Like you must have been able to manage your money and your clientele. Because that can be a challenge for a lot of young girls in that industry, which is why they seek out the help of a pimp in the first place.

CynTara Sanders: 12:18

I guess. Oh, I mean, I just was in my own little dysfunctional world. So I didn't even I don't know how people were feeling the way I was moving. But I saved a lot of money. I have a lot of people. And at the end of it coming towards the end of it, I had started just like, God, This can't be it for my life. You know, I know that. I have failed all my life. Like, I was worthless, but there can't This can't be it. So one day, I had went to this client's house, and he asked me Do I party? And I was like, No, he was like, What do you mind if I do? And I'm like, Sure. So he,

Chelsea Cora: 13:06

for listeners who don't know him doing illegal substances

CynTara Sanders: 13:13

that you can snort it. Anyway, had the music plan and I'm, you know, doing my little thing over here and didn't touch him. got paid a lot of money. Got my phone call, Hey, it's time to go. Okay, cool. I'm leaving, didn't leave, after my phone call. ended up sitting there talking to this guy talking talk. And this was a big executive. And he said to me, Hey, so I noticed that you didn't sit here still talking to me. And they called you and I just want you to know, I could have buried you and kill you by now. Could you in my backyard. And no one would know because they don't care about you. You're just trying to make them money. Just like you're trying to make yours. However, I don't want you to think I'm a hypocrite, but I'm looking at you. You are a beautiful, smart, bright until the gym young lady who has a big bright future ahead. And if you do not get out of this type of business, you're gonna end up doing it before your time. I was scared the shit out of me. Okay, because I didn't see that coming. And he was like, Yeah, you need to get out of this. This is this is not for you. He said, I don't know what led you to this. But this is not pretty. Wow. And I was like, Okay, thank you, you know, and I left out I was trembling inside shaking. And when I left out of there, I almost got killed by 18 wheeler truck.

Chelsea Cora: 14:53

Oh my god. Yeah,

CynTara Sanders: 14:54

I got on the freeway, and I wasn't even on the freeway again. Less than five minutes. It's an 18 wheeler truck was trying to merge off the freeway. And I was in the very last lane. And I look up and I'll see this is like that trip and even see. So like, I didn't even exist in my car. I wasn't a black Camaro back then. And had it not been for the medium. I wouldn't be out here because I had to, like get over. So that I was like, he almost just my life just flashed before me, right? And I was like, okay, it was late at night, I gather myself back together, got back on the freeway and was like some tar, what are you doing? But you know, something about that experience made me feel seen, okay, because I always didn't feel safe. Like, I felt like, I had no purpose, I was ugly. I was, you know, just living in a world where nothing really mattered, you know, other parts of me though, I didn't care, you know what I'm saying I did hold up a certain type of standard. So I wasn't just out there bad, you know, living any reckless kind of way. And I think that I've always felt inside deep inside that I was somebody important. And that I had this deep down desire to like help people. So no matter what happened to me, I always always throw myself to the backburner or the martyr, so to say, but I always felt, I guess you could say I'm always felt like a healer within. Even though I could never find this feeling that I know was attainable. I just at that time, being so young and unknowledgeable I still feel bad beef with them. But that might happen. And I ended up taking a break for a little bit, then I got back into it right now back into it ended up finding out about this brothel. And Vegas, in Las Vegas, right? That was legal there. You know, you go, you can check, make sure you don't get nothing, and being able to get you started. So you get started, you got your own room, you make all this money. And it's all protection based in one day, we were lining up, and everybody comes out. And I'm looking at the age groups, I'm the youngest in there. And all these women or so much older than me, but one particular woman stood out more than all of them. She was about 60 Something, okay? And she had gotten her face done her body down her boobs, everything, you know, looks like she had been living this lifestyle for quite a while. And her name was speedy. She had the lips and you know, the cheeks. I mean, just everything right? And, and I can just hear this inner voice saying to me, is this what you want to do for the rest of your life, and don't like, but she was talking about how she had this big house and car and she had all these trappings all these things, you know, the level of debt, the level of money we'll drive to. And I was like, Man, I'm not doing this for the rest of my life, I ended up cutting my time short bear leaving, and creating a whole new life when I came back home.

Chelsea Cora: 18:45

Wow, that's beautiful. I love those moments of intervention where it was like, either your inner voice was telling you something, you had a feeling that came from within, or you had these external communications really from spirit, right? You had this guy kind of sitting you down and scaring you a little bit by saying that, you know, you could be dead in my backyard and nobody would care or you you know, you let that incident and then you almost got in a car accident. So when I heard you describe these parts of your story before you really did describe them as moments when Spirit was speaking to you. And I'm curious because we haven't touched on up into your story at this point. What was your relationship like with spirituality or with God? Up until this point?

CynTara Sanders: 19:33

Oh, ality I always had a relationship with spirit. Even when I was a young kid. I would be talking to myself praying to myself. I would see things feel things touching me. Seeing things pass on my side of my eye. I remember feeling frozen and like can't move laying in bed like some thing was holding me down. But I will always be crying out for him, always please help me, you know, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what, how to make any moves. I don't know what to do always pray, right. And when I got out of that lifestyle, I ended up going to a church in Houston. And because of that relationship with God, I wanted to be in a community where I could learn more, you know, I was so ready to change my life for the better, I was ready for counseling, I was ready to do whatever it took to be my best self. So I ended up going to the church, and there was a guy who was my first love. This was his cousin. And so he was like, Yeah, that's a good place to be, you know, blah, blah. So I go to this church, and I ended up under the tutelage of, I would say, a cult. But I didn't know that's what it, it works. And I was dating this guy at the time. And so we were both two broken individuals. And we go to this church, and we were thinking that yeah, this place that feels really good, it's family oriented. And so as we got deeper into this church, we ended up becoming ministers. And in training, I got on board really quick, just wanted to be a sponge and just soak up as much knowledge as I could about how to be a better me. And I ended up getting my mom to go there, my stepdad to go there, and my sister, different friends. I mean, so many people I would invite. And I was just like, Yes, finally, you know, life changing, you know, I'm gonna be totally different. You know, when I first came in, I had this little bitty, you know, the skirts and stuff, clothes I would wear and the people would be like, yeah, you need to not wear that. I'm like, Well, that's all I had, you know, you got work, buy me some clothes, you know. So you have people that were being critical and judgmental. But again, I just was so focused on my kids finally on saved on safe, you know, and then I grew a relationship with the pastor and wife, and they took me in to their family, and it took my ex my whole family. And they married

Chelsea Cora: 22:29

kids, right at this point.

CynTara Sanders: 22:31

But I took my family where they let me go back, they married me, okay. This church, ended up teaching us, you know, we went through marital counseling through the church, and then we ended up getting married, and then having two kids. And we became, they brought us to the forefront of the church and told us that we're now going to be adopting this family as our own. And so we would go out to Sunday dinners, vacation. I mean, like, I was like, oh my god, this is so beautiful. And there were times when my mom felt jealous, because she would see us hanging out all the time with this family. But to me, I was like, I never had that kind of, you know, my family did things together, but it wasn't a very cohesive, spend time all all the time together kind of thing. And then there was always a little it was a lot of distance in my family, and maybe because of all the trauma. I don't know. But to me, I was more distance, but I found this family to be what I thought an ideal family would look like. Because they were always miss, you know, together like this. And so ended up being sexually abused by the past. And I thought this pastor was like another father to me, like, okay, he's a pastor. He's a, you know, another father figure. Finally, you know, I got this dad I've never had with his dad and I thought I've never had it the same thing that that that the stepdad did to me, you know, sexual abuse. And for many years, I kept, attended this church. For many years, I did nothing about what he was doing to me. For many years. I had no voice. I had no ability at that time to speak up for myself. And I didn't realize he had been doing this to me, the other females and many other women in the church. Wow. And, but eventually, somebody that came to me and said something and it angered me, because I realized at that time, I can't make it on One day I was watching Oprah. Oprah had a panel with me in orchestra. And these men had all been molesters, sexual abusers, right bursts of either their own children or women that they knew or kids that they knew. And they had started using language that I had never heard before, such as grooming, which is when you basically take the defences down of your, of the person that you're looking at that you're going to abuse and you you feel comfortable, you know, they make you feel comfortable, you trust, there's a lot of trust there. And then that's when they go in for the kill after they get your trust. And so this is what this pastor had done to me. I was counseling with him. I was sharing with him when my dad had done when my stepdad stepdad had done to me. And you know, the six work I've done and all just the dysfunctional things, thinking that now I'm gonna get my hill. But yeah, I got more than that. I got the same trauma. And I later found out with all the trauma that I went through that I had. Si PTSD is like complex, post traumatic stress disorder. Man, when I read that when I wrote my book, it was like trauma after trauma. And I didn't put all my story in that book because it was just small vignettes. But I wrote that book and it's so many traumas. But anyway, I ended up confronting this pastor, after watching the Oprah show, because I ended up feeling very empowered. I told my husband when it happened,

Chelsea Cora: 26:52

and how long had it been going on with the pastor? Yeah,

CynTara Sanders: 26:55

been going on for years? Six or seven? Yeah. Yeah, well, a very long time. And he again, my trust, my husband's trust, my Children's Trust, you know, my, even my family stressed, you know, and I want to say that abuse was one of the most devastating because because this was a man of the cloth. This was a man of the Bible. This was a man who was supposed to been watching over my soul. This was a man who was teaching me the word of God, you know. And, anyway, after that happened, and I finally got the courage to speak up, I wrote a letter I got into everybody's Facebook, sending messages telling everybody, the leaders to people in the church, and everybody turned their backs on Me. Nobody believed me. One of the elders in the church was like, Well, what took you so long was like, wow, let's take me so long. Is women right here in this church? Just not gonna say and then, you know, later on, I ended up discovering when the veils came down for my eyelids, because I finally spoke up and spoke out. I went to that church to call the police on me. Oh, wow. Yeah. After that. My husband had came with me at that time. But after that, after things kind of settled down, cut file, my police report, and nothing was done, because I had no evidence. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, everything. I had nothing. So he lied and said, I was interested in him and that I was jealous of him in his wife's relationship. Give me a break. I'm like, 46. Now, I think at that time, I was 2224 or something like that. And he was like, 5050, something overweight. You know, man. Give me a break. So anyway, I was Shawn from the church. I reached out to different leaders no help there. Because these were their friends. I guess they thought I was looking for trouble. Why would you handle it that way? What is the perfect way to handle it? I don't know. But wow. And yeah, I spoke up when I was in my 30s. Then I left the church altogether. All churches are religion. I was done. My husband left me, divorced me once I told him what happened ended up confronting him as well ended up he was ended up, you know, having affairs and doing stuff. And so he was telling people in the street that I had an affair with the pastor, versus letting him know what the real truth was. But that was painful, too. And at the end of the day, I realized it's hard. You got to come here and say, no one's gonna say, no one's gonna help me. The healing that you need. to go through, you have to take control of that. And so I went back to therapy didn't do that long because I noticed, hey, that doesn't work. You know, I ended up being on Prozac and Ambien, though, with the first therapist that I went to, because I was hearing voices in my head to kill myself. And at this time when I went to bed divorce, I was, I had the two kids on, you know, alone, raising them. And that was very, very hard, very, very hard. I was going to work crying, non stop nonstop, every day, face broken out. I mean, oh, my God. And I don't know how I survived that. But I did have an angel, who was my first who actually came back into my life while I was going through my divorce. Love, which my ex husband had ran into him gave him my number. It's so funny how he puts everything together. Yeah. So looking back, that's all spirit. Gave me the number told me that when I see him, I'm gonna be in tears because he's dying. And he looks very sick. He was right. I called him, ran it down to him what was going on? And he was like, I am so sorry. I told you my cousin was safe. I didn't know that. That's what he was up to. I thought you will do your husband. I'm so sorry. You know, and he ended up telling me to get off the Ambien or the Prozac and just smoke weed, you know that? I'll be right, you know, and he was like, as far as I know, would never allow herself to almost giving into spirits telling her to kill us at the Centaur I know, is strong and powerful. Listen, sorry. I know. I don't think like Who is he talking about? Because that's not me. But I ended up staying with him for a few months, until I got a little bit healthier in my mind frame. And I did what he suggested I got off the Ambien. I got off Prozac, I smoked weed, and I continued my journey. Wow. And ended up finding different healing modalities when I've noticed that regular therapy stuff was not working. So I went to spiritual healing therapy, and spiritual. She were teaching she was teaching me things about hey, you know, the way you think is a victim. You know, you think like a victim. You are a survivor. You're not a victim. You are a God fearing woman, You are God like, and I'm thinking like, well, if I'm so God, like, why didn't I have the strength or the power to stop all these, you know, traumas? You know, my mind just started, you know? Yeah. Anyway, she did a little bit of hypnosis on me. And I was like, Huh, what I knew about hypnosis, I thought somebody would be trying to take advantage of me, you know, but this was a woman. So I felt, you know, a little bit safer, worked with her a little bit. And I stopped working with her, I kind of did some things on my own asking spirit. Okay, what else can I do? What else can I do? You know? And so I ended up hearing about Reiki. And this was through another young lady who I had met on my journey, and she told me about Reiki and I was like, what is bad? And so she was like, yeah, it's just you know, universal life force energy, that channel and you will get a lot of relaxation, you can get some healing and your mental you know, your body, your physical body can be healed. And I was like, how, you know, she was like, well think about it, you know, because universal life energy that can be transferred through the phone through your thoughts through you know, they use in symbols and you're doing this, it's like, okay, I never heard of it before. You know, I don't know what that was. They got to feel like so. Eye contact this lady in Cincinnati, Ohio, her name is Balloon and I was working with her over the phone and couldn't believe how she could tune in to me. Yeah, and that's how I ended up finding out that I was much younger when it happened when the first section is happened but so much and then I was like, Okay, I gotta find someone local. We ended up finding this young lady named Sheree over here Houston, and got a few sessions from her in person I noticed okay, it's about the same thing you know, that so you know what, I'm gonna learn this modality. So I learned Reiki one, and I was like, Okay, I like that. Went to Reiki two. And I did Reiki three, that's To the master's level, and then I started working on other people as I am continuing my healing journey. And I thought, Man, I cannot believe that all this time, I had never heard of this. And it's so powerful. And so as I continued my journey, I ended up finding out about committed yoga. And what is that? So that's a that's a form of yoga, that's from Egypt. And it's Egyptian way of doing yoga. So it's very slow paced. And you are very tuned in with your breath, you're taking a four count breath in an eight count with out. And with each posture and movement, you're working with your breath. I feel you like I'm not done with that certification class yet. I will not tell you that is a lifestyle change is well too, because it incorporate nutritions the way you eat, you know. It just incorporates a whole new lifestyle. So I noticed I became more self aware, too, when I started the committee. Because as I'm taking my time to breathe in, I'm paying attention to how does my mind feel? How does my My eyes feel? Is there any stress in my mouth? I noticed I was clutching a lot clutching down on mouth. Oh, what did my throat feels like? Yeah, there's like, I paid attention to so many parts of my body that I didn't even I wasn't even aware of like, I live in his body every day. But I wasn't conscious, you know. And so I became more and more conscious. And I kept, you know, it's like, I got this voracious appetite. Well, what else do I not know. So then, on the journey, you go down this rabbit hole, and you start discovering so much information and how you've been lied to about so much in your life, from the foods that you eat, from the, you know, the music, that you listen to what you're watching on TV, all this projections of what you should do in life, and how you should operate in relationships and what you should. I mean, you don't even have your own thought forms here. These are all other thought forms that are taking over telling you how to be you. And so once I got into all of these modalities, I ended up last modality recent, I won't say last, because I'm gonna be a Constant Learner for the rest of my life, but shamanism is the next healing energy modality that I just got into which is where I met your lovely self it Yes. And that has been very, very, I mean, just life changing. In so many areas of my life, like with each modality, I have come to see so much of myself in different aspects of life. Like, I realized how powerful why and I realized all of those hard, hurtful experiences was what I signed up for, you know, before I came into this art school, I realized that this was the journey that you said that you were going to take, these were the parents that you picked, and you said, you were going to go through all of this so that you can become who you were going to become to in order to successfully fulfill your assignment. And that's how I live my life. Now, with purpose. I had to find out why did I go through all of that? Why am I even here. And it was all about my purpose, you know, these are the things I would do in order to become who I am now.

Chelsea Cora: 39:02

Wow, that's so powerful. I love that. And that is such a more empowering perspective to live your life from that on some level, my soul chose to come into this human experience, to have all of these lessons and to evolve and to overcome and to share my light with others. That's beautiful, because I love what your spiritual healer told you towards the beginning of your healing journey, which is that you're not a victim. And that the more you move through life, or anybody moves through life like a victim, the more they're going to manifest from victimhood

CynTara Sanders: 39:40

that you keep attracting that experience because they can see it all over you your aura reeks it, which is why people kept taking advantage of you and I was like, what? It's like you're inviting it. It was hard thing to hear, you know, but I had to take a look And then I realized on my journey, I'm the co creator. I am a co creator with the Creator, which means, however, my life is unfolding, I had a lot to do with it. A lot to do with it. Because of the way I'm thinking, the way I'm operating in life. I had the worst experience with men couldn't pick a good man, you know, always shows below what I've deserved. Yeah. Then I realized, well, relationships mirror to you, who you are, they mirror to you some of the areas that you still need to heal, or you still need to work on. Oh,

Chelsea Cora: 40:39

right, as a game changer when we start learning how the universe actually works, and what's going on with relationships. Yeah, yeah. And so, you know, we none of us can control the childhood that we had, or the traumas that we underwent during that time. And unfortunately, or fortunately, if you're looking at it from the souls perspective, who whose mission is to evolve, but from the human lens, unfortunately, that is what sort of sets up our energetic blueprint for how we are going to manifest for the rest of our lives. Because all of that programming gets entrained in our home frequency. And that's what we become a magnet to as we move through life. And then it's up to us, if we're going to decide to, like you said, be our own savior and start to heal from those things. And what I love about your healing journey is just like anybody else's healing journey, is it so unique to you, you listen to your own self, and allowed yourself to be guided on this flow of what calls to me what is speaking to me, that it's not the therapy, but it is the spiritual therapy, and then the Reiki and then going into the cosmetic yoga, and shamanism and so on. And everybody's journey is going to be different. The same medicine is not for everybody. But you made the decision to listen to what called you and just show up for yourself over and over again. And that's so powerful.

CynTara Sanders: 42:07

Yeah, that was something that I didn't do. And so now, I went from being disempowered to being a powerful as gods, there you go, I am. I am, you know, and I have no regrets. I have no shame. I have nothing but a great future to look forward to. And I feel like if you haven't been through anything, who are you going to help? Because talking something, and living something out and transforming, being able to alchemize what you've been through and transforming that into something beautiful. I think that being able to do that is powerful within the cell, because some people go to their graves without actualizing, who they actually are to the totality. And I think that, you know, being here and this earth claims Earth round, it is every day learning something new every day, elevating your conscious awareness everywhere. Hmm,

Chelsea Cora: 43:24

yeah, absolutely. Okay. So yes, thank you so much for sharing that I do have a really important question that I wanted to ask you, which is, what sort of message or advice would you like to share for someone out there who is working with or wanting to heal from sexual abuse.

CynTara Sanders: 43:45

So you have been sexually abused, and you are ready to finally say, Hey, I matter. And I want to change what I've been doing, and I want to get better. One thing I would recommend you do is, pray first pray, ask to be led to the proper things that's going to help you to heal. Because that's what I did. I'm like spirit, I am open on wild. What is it that I can do to be better, and I don't want to trust my life into someone else's hand. I want to be in control here. And so that's what the first thing I would do is just pray first, and then allow yourself to just open up and do do things differently. Because if you see what you have been doing and it's not working, then that means you need to open up to do something different. Even if it goes against your religion, if it goes against what you've been taught, because you will find on your journey you've been lied to. You've been deceived. And you were taught even by your parents. They told you things that wasn't true. But they told you the best that they knew how at the at that time, so you're going to have to become a seeker of wisdom, a seeker of knowledge, a seeker of healing, and be ready because it's not going to be comfortable. Just very uncomfortable. When you go through the process, sometimes, some of those memories, you can still feel the pain from it. I mean, I don't know, I can openly talk about anything now. And it doesn't hurt me, it doesn't bother me, I'm not crying anymore, because I did the work. And that's how you know you do the work, when you heal, and you can still share with others empower others, you're not impacted from those memories anymore. So I would seek out spirituality, because that's what worked for me. And I don't know what form what this you know what energy healing form you would want to use. But because we are energy, I would definitely seek out some form of energy modality, some form of energy healing modality, I also would journal journaling is very, very powerful. Because if you're keeping everything in your mind is saying inside the bag, and when you're keeping all of that information in the body and storing that low vibrational stuff, you will become sick. You know, because those stuck energies create disease in the body. And so I would journal I would get out in nature and walk, I would constantly be talking to the universe or whoever your higher. Your you know, whoever you consider God to be in your life, I would do a lot of communicating. And then I would seek out different modalities, just to see what is again, work for you, and talk to people, talk to people talk to other people and see what has worked for them. I just shared what's worked for me. And as you have heard, it's been many things, and it's gonna continue to be things that I'm going to continue to learn because I'm all about elevating my consciousness. I'd never want to say the same for what.

Chelsea Cora: 47:12

Yeah, awesome. That's beautiful and welcoming advice. Thank you so much for offering that to anybody out there who might be struggling with this. This issue that is really such an epidemic, right? Because it happens to so many more people than is publicly realized. And one of the things that I'm also going to do is link to that Oprah Show, because I did find that on YouTube that you talked about in your story. Yeah, she interviewed the panel of people who had previously molested young girls. And just so people can kind of see, like, how you found some resonance in it, how you found it empowering, right? Because there can be so much confusion around that subject. So to get a little bit clearer. So I'll link to that as well as where listeners can find use and Tara, and would you mind just sharing with us? What are you offering at this time?

CynTara Sanders: 48:09

Well, I am offering I do meditations and like nature in the forest. Offer Reiki energy healing, so I come to you. I do offer shamanic practices. I'm still practicing that right now. So if you want to get practice on, you can work together on that. I also am doing one on one spiritual life coaching. So yeah, that's the basis of what I am offering. And eventually I will be doing psilocybin offerings again. Soon I will be offering committed Gilda,

Chelsea Cora: 48:51

Ooh, nice. I love that. I love how you becoming a practitioner of all these things that have transformed your life and being able to offer that medicine to others. Awesome. Well, this has been such an amazing interview. Thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your medicine. And again, stories are medicine. That's the name of the book that your story was featured on for anybody who's interested in diving a little bit deeper into what you shared today. And yeah, I think we covered so many topics. Is there anything else that would make this interview feel complete for you? Or do you feel like we covered enough?

CynTara Sanders: 49:31

Oh, think we've covered a lot. I mean, I can't stress enough though. How important it is to get quiet. It's sometime to get out of the rat race of trying to have in trying to do and incorporate being incorporate learning about who you really are not who people have told you not based on your title. Oh, and all of these things that society tells you to become or to do for money. I think it's very important also, to discover your purpose. Why are you here? If you don't discover that, then you might be coming right on back here.

Chelsea Cora: 50:21

Another round.

CynTara Sanders: 50:23

Yes, I felt like it was very important. As a spirit being having a human experience, discover why you're here, discover what's your purpose, and then get busy doing that live in that out loud. Yes, I

Chelsea Cora: 50:38

love that so much. Thank you for that message. And thank you for coming on the show and sharing your light with us today. It was a true gift.

CynTara Sanders: 50:45

Thank you, Chelsea for having me. I really thank you for just being able to talk about sexual abuse in such a open platform like this. A lot of people, like I said, before they go to the grave with this stuff. Yes. And then they ended up having a mess of a life, you know, never satisfied life in relationships or anything, because they just won't speak up. And my thing is, with that you already in pain right? Now just go ahead and go through whatever it takes to heal it. Since you're already in pain, out of the pain by going in doing the work. The work, honey is going to benefit you. And you whole different person when I look at myself now like like I see myself on this camera. You're you looks. Yes. You feel good, you know, and I don't need a man to tell me that, you know, when I get up every day, I tell me that. I know that I looked at it and not just from the outside, I'm talking about from the inside out and feel good about who I am, who I have become and who I am continuing to transform to be. I feel so good. And I'm so happy that I invested in my own self love.

Chelsea Cora: 52:06

Yes, absolutely. That's such a testament to what's possible going through the beginning of your journey where everything was such a low level of self worth not being able to face yourself in the mirror and see yourself beautiful, to absolutely, completely loving every part of yourself today is a testament to what's possible. It is

CynTara Sanders: 52:30

I hope that something I said today has empowered someone and has woke up something and someone today to take charge of their lives so that they can live their best life as I say, yes,

Chelsea Cora: 52:46

well said. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, and Tara and thank you to all of our beautiful listeners and viewers. This has been another episode of the soulful self podcast and I'll talk to y'all next time.

CynTara Sanders: 52:59

Bye