How to Protect Your Hope and Joy from Negativity | Gisele Marcus

Negativity can easily dominate our attention, shape the stories we tell ourselves, and influence how we see the future. But protecting our hope and joy does not mean ignoring life’s challenges—it means refusing to let those challenges define us.

In this inspiring episode of Diversity Conversations, Eric Ellis is joined by Gisele Marcus, Vice Dean and Professor of Practice at Olin Business School at Washington University in St. Louis. Drawing from her personal journey and extensive leadership experience, Gisele shares practical ways to remain grounded in hope, resilience, and possibility—even when facing criticism, uncertainty, or adversity.

Together, Eric and Gisele explore:

• Why our brains naturally focus on negativity
• How positive emotions strengthen creativity, resilience, and relationships
• Three practical ways to protect your hope and joy
• How to guard what receives your attention
• Why reframing your story can change your outlook
• The importance of protecting your circle and emotional environment
• Why protecting your joy is not selfish
• How each of us can choose to multiply hope instead of fear

This meaningful conversation reminds us that our present circumstances do not define the substance of who we are—and that hope gives us the courage to keep dreaming, creating, connecting, and moving forward.

Listen now and consider: Are you multiplying fear, or are you multiplying hope?

Gisele Marcus, Eric Ellis, Diversity Conversations, hope and joy, overcoming negativity, positive mindset, emotional resilience, protecting your peace, personal growth, leadership, optimism, emotional well-being, mental wellness, resilience, overcoming adversity, negativity bias, reframing your thoughts, emotional stewardship, multiplying hope, protecting your circle, positive emotions, workplace leadership, inclusive leadership, Washington University, Olin Business School 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to Diversity Conversations, where we engage in thought-provoking dialogue to identify leadership solutions to today's most challenging conflicts. Stream live each week, Saturday, 9 30 a.m. to 11 a.m., hosted by Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Strategists and CEOs Eric Ellis and Tommy Lewis. Join us and add your voice to this engaging diversity conversation.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Good morning, Greater Cincinnati, Northern Kentucky, the United States, and the world. My name is Eric Ellison. I'm the president and CEO of Integrity Development Corporation. And Tommy Lewis is out on assignment, taking a sabbatical, and he'll join us back in uh August. And uh so he's doing fine, enjoying the sun, staying busy with all the projects that he's working on. So we certainly miss Tommy Lewis. Uh, but today I'm not gonna be alone. I will have a special guest that will be joining us. Uh, community, I thank you for being here. I really appreciate you more than you'll ever know. Uh, as I think about my week, uh, I had uh, let's say a week of golf. So I've been uh playing a lot of golf. I enjoy that. Uh I've been uh uh getting up in the morning at 5:30 and playing golf from six to like eight before my workday starts. And then I've been playing golf in the evening uh when the sun goes down. So when the sun is down about seven o'clock, I've literally been out walking the golf course. And for all the years that I've been a member at Beckett uh Ridge Golf Course, I've never walked the course. And now I'm doing that because golf is one of the only exercises that I love. And so I've been enjoying getting out there, man. Uh, Tommy and I both played in a tournament last weekend in Indianapolis. I went to that tournament with great expectation. That's what golfers do. We have great expectation at the beginning of a round or an event. And man, that first day, I was all over the place, y'all. I mean, my balls were everywhere. I was like, what in the world? Where did my where did Eric the golfer go? And who replaced him with disc garbage? And literally, I mean, the guy I was uh golfing with, I didn't know him. Uh, he said he called my drive something like a poot scooter. Uh I was like, what kind of name is that? I said, Look, bruh, don't ever say that to anybody else. You know, Lord. I mean, my my ball was uh uh uh slicing a little bit, but it still was in the fairway off the T. Uh, but I had a rugged uh day one, and literally I almost didn't sleep well, but I went to work with AI, analyzing, feeding in data about what my balls were doing, and literally came up with a game plan and some adjustments. And I was the first one at the golf, it was a two-day golf tournament. I was the first one at the golf course the next day. I'm there at the driving range, and man, my balls were just man. The day day one, I shot in 86. For so as bad as my swing was, my score still wasn't that bad. Uh, but my swing was way worse. And then on day two, I was sending bombs out there with the with the driver, uh, my irons. I mean, on day one, I got two triple bogeys on short par threes. I mean, I was hitting them boom, right into the woods off the T. I just felt like a scrub, man. And uh uh so uh, but I survived. And uh, and then they day two, I was hitting the ball well. And guess what my score was? 86. Same score. I mean, come on now. Um hitting the ball horrible and I get 86. I'm hitting the ball great, 86. Golf is a difficult game. Uh, and then on uh, you know, a couple of times I've been able to get out uh with my pastor. He's become a golf enthusiast, and we're just having a great time in the morning. And then uh, if any of you saw my uh social media as I sort of put together a video for today, I talked about going out with one of my very good friends. And uh, we're just out there golfing in the morning, and I mean the dew is on the ground, the birds are singing, and we are just having a ball. And then out of nowhere, he just screamed. He said, Eric, you don't know how valuable this is to me. And I could feel that. When he screamed that out, I mean there's nobody out there, it's me and him. We got old school music on it and we're playing golf. Uh and when he screamed that, I could feel that inside of me because I felt the same way. Somebody that I cared deeply about, my friend. We're out here doing something that we love in this world of chaos and stress and anxiety. If you can find something you love to do and somebody you enjoy doing that with, that's powerful. And that's gonna be what we're gonna talk about today. I'm gonna go to one last story and then I'm gonna introduce our special guest. I also had the honor this week of uh uh my son uh coming to talk about doing some work with uh my company, integrity development. And so we were spending time and he was learning. I mean, he was just you know, he's powerful. He's got just a fast brain. And so he was listening to all the things that I was talking about, things that I've invented, things I've created. And he told me, he said, I like that cars plan. He said, Dad, I he said, I think that might be the most powerful thing that you you're doing. The cars plan is a leadership accountability plan. Uh we identified five essential skills that all leaders and ultimately employees need to be able to deliver, manifest in the workplace. Number one is uh empathic leadership, uh being able to listen in order to understand, not just to respond. Number two, perspective taking. Uh, we've discovered that oftentimes employees say, I wish our bosses would check in with us before they make changes, decisions that affect my job without checking in with me. Uh, number three is psychological safety. We've heard from employees over the last three decades that too often uh organizations do not allow them or encourage them to push back or challenge the status quo. Uh competency number four is belonging. We believe that it's important. Employees are saying to us that it's more important now than ever that organizations create a sense of belonging. Uh the research has said that for the first time in the history of them uh recording this data, there are more employees struggling in the workplace than there are thriving. So employees are saying we need to feel a sense of belonging. And young people are saying if they don't feel that, they really may not stay there. Uh employees are saying that in the old days we used to do company picnics and you know go to King's Island if you're in Cincinnati, and now a lot of that is gone away. And so, uh, and then the fifth thing is that that believe it or not, people are still saying that we need to put greater value on inclusive workplaces. Uh, I have discovered that oftentimes when women feel as though they're not uh uh receiving fairness and equity, it comes in the form of sexism. For people of color, sometimes it's racism. Uh for white men, sometimes it's strictly favoritism. That's what we've heard. In other words, and all of those, uh, the plumb line through all three of those is really subjective judgment. And so those are the five essential skills. And this CARS plan that I developed is an accountability plan for leaders. It's an acronym, CARS. The C stands for commitment. We've asked every leader to establish a commitment statement that you have around delivering on uh this competency. And then A is uh three or four action items, action uh uh items that you're going to uh implement, specific measurable actions that you're going to take. Uh the R is results, and we're asking leaders to track the results that you've uh gained, that you've seen happen as a result of your commitment statement and your actions. And then the S stands for stories. And so he loved that. He said, Dad, he said, I think that's what makes sort of a lot of the work that you do around creating people-centered workplaces, it gives it more uh uh oomph, if you will, more uh, it makes it more robust, it makes it something that is tangible and uh understandable to leaders. These are the things that at the end of the day that they're looking for. What changes as a result of the work that you do? So I really have enjoyed uh that. And then he said one other thing to me. He said, uh, he said, Dad, I've seen you uh utilize a lot of uh different AI graphics and things like that. And uh and I was saying, well, you know, a lot of data is helpful for a lot of people I work with. He said, Well, can I share something? In other words, have you already made up your mind, or can I share something? I said, No, no, son, speak, speak. You know, uh, you know, when your children get older, now, you know, hey, if you don't want to hear it, you know, whatever. And so I said, No, no, uh, speak, man. I want to hear you. He said, Daddy said, everybody in today's world is looking for the authentic. Uh, he says, and uh he said, Dad, you have that like nobody I know. He said, and I'm just saying, I'm just giving you a caution to not trade in your greatest strength and what the world is really looking for for artificial artificial intelligence. He said, Why would you trade in authenticity for artificial intelligence? He said, So it's a good thing to use, use it in balance, but make sure that you put yourself out there. And as a result of that, I changed from this flyer that I was gonna post on LinkedIn to a video and stories. And so I'm I'm grateful to continue to be growing. I'm grateful that I'm a parent that can hear from their children. You know, that's a beautiful thing. And uh, and so I'm looking forward to our conversation today community. Um, we are happy to have you here. Uh, we are grateful for those of you that have joined us from Austin, Texas, and all over. I want you to weigh in today because we're going to be on a topic that I'm certain you're gonna have something to say uh about. And so let me introduce uh my guest, uh Giselle Marcus. Uh, she is vice dean and professor of practice at uh Olin Business School, Washington University in St. Louis. Uh, she is a nationally recognized executive educator, uh, corporate board member, and leadership expert whose career has been defined by transforming organizations, developing leaders, and building relationships that drive lasting business success. Today she serves as a vice dean and professor of practice at Olin Business School in organizational effectiveness while helping shape strategic initiatives across the school. But this is also my friend. She's been with us before. Some of you might remember that. And so we're going to bring her to the stage. Good morning, my friend. How are you? Good, great morning, Eric. How are you? I can't complain at all. I'm doing fantastic. I'm so grateful that we are together. And I enjoyed the pre-conversation that we had. Community, you all may have missed the real conversation. I mean, we're getting it done in our discussion about this conversation that we're going to have today. Uh, but I am uh so looking forward to our conversation. I always want to start with uh our our guests really uh sort of introducing themselves uh to our community so that people know who you are and maybe an example of uh an individual or experience that has brought you to who you are today.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

All right. Giselle Marcus. I was born and raised in Harlem, so I'm from New York City. Uh I am the product of um an amazing mother who is hopefully on. I'm sure she is, she doesn't miss a thing that I do. Hey, mom. And um you've mentioned what I do professionally, but I can introduce myself by saying how I got here. Yeah. I'm the product of um the New York City public school system. It did me well, I must say. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

And again, how many people? 562. That was a whole lot of folk, and you were 16. 16. And I have 16 in my class.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

And I'm gonna credit my mother for it because I would say she put me on that trajectory.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

When I was in elementary school, I remember whenever I would get 100 on a test, she would always let me go to a store in the neighborhood and buy anything that I wanted in a particular section. And I just loved that. And then when she took the stimulus away, I was still someone who strived for excellence and and still do today. So that took me to Syracuse University. I was a business major and because business is what my parents were about, so my mom worked at the phone company for 44 years and eight months when it was all said and done.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Um, she started as an operator and she ended by working in the switching room where they used to actually set up special lines. So, say if the president of the United States was in New York City, right? They would actually set up special lines for them, unlike how you do it today.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Right. Uh, your mother was an operator. In what year did she start? And where were many black operators? Yeah, that's a good point. I I doubt that there were. Yeah, that was an important job. I mean, it's like they weren't gonna give us that job. We in there emptying the waste pails. I mean, that's cool, you know, trash cans and things like that. But man, if you're an operator, okay. Go ahead, mom.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Good point. Uh, and my dad uh delivered papers for the New York Times. So I knew business, I went into business in high school. My high school specialized in business. Here's something people don't know. I was a secretarial studies major. So I know the millennials are like, what is that? Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

I'm like, what is that?

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Right. So when shorthand was a thing, right? Before we had AI to translate everything, we'd have to do it by hand. So, you know, in terms of being able to listen to letters being dictated, I would write it down in shorthand and transcribe it on a typewriter. Think about that. Okay. Um, and I you know what did me well, I learned how to type 70 words a minute. Man, I would so in college that was good because I could actually get paid to type other people's papers. Oh, okay. So I knew business only, so I went into business, um, business major. And then I have to say, I I for the young people in the audience, be grateful for having career days because when I grew up, we really didn't have those.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

So I walked into the university and taught engineering as a discipline and knew nothing about it. So there to learn about that. Um, graduated from there, worked at what is now Accenture as a um as a consultant in terms of IT. And I always knew I wanted to get an MBA because I thought that was important. Um, wanted to double my salary then, and I went on, applied to five of the top business schools. Um, ended up y'all did hear that. Five of the top, five of the top got you know what, and God was good because I actually got admitted to all five.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Ooh, okay, carrying something in their head. A little something, right? I like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

And I decided to go to Harvard Business School, so spent a couple years in Boston getting that MBA. Uh, and you know, it's it's the it's the it's the badge of honor that I wear, but I don't necessarily speak about often. Somehow people find out, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

We are proud of you. Let me ask you a quick question about that. Sure. Uh, for those of us and those in our community that uh have only heard about Harvard and never had the honor of certainly being a student there, which experience did you have more? Uh, and and I'm giving you two options, but there may be many others. Um, that you sometimes felt isolated as a woman of color there? Or because you're at Harvard, people sort of felt like you were in a fraternity sorority that allowed them to just accept you for your capability. Now, you'll now you know I know you probably experienced both of those, but I'm asking maybe which one you experienced more.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

I'd say I felt more like I belonged. Okay, and that may be because I had often been in similar spaces. So in my class, there were five percent African Americans, a class of 800, 810 to be exact. Okay, so I was accustomed to being one of few or the only right, so did number drop to now.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Have you checked? I'm sorry. We we got a whole show against negativity, so continue.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

That's right, that's right, we sure do. Um now I now I just lost my thought when you said that.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Right. You were uh uh you there were 800 students, five percent.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Yes, yes, and you were asking about um did I feel isolated or apartment?

SPEAKER_02 19:20

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

So before I got there, I was told that it was going to be very cutthroat, very competitive. You know, people would rip pages out of your book before the exam and all of these types of things. Oh my god. And when I got there, none of that was true. Okay, and what happened was something I didn't expect. But at Harvard Business School, you have the best of the best. And everyone that's there is accustomed to being at the top of their class. It's very competitive. They have what's called a bake, you're a baker scholar if you're in the top 10% of your class. Everybody that's at Harvard Business School came from being top of their class. They grade on a curve. So in every class, the top 10% get what's called a category one, the middle 80% get a category two, the bottom 3% get a category three. And if you get too many category threes, they will invite you to leave. So it is very competitive. And now all of a sudden, all of us who are accustomed to being in the top of our class, 80% of you are now average. So that by itself, psychologically, right, is something to deal with while the classes are going on at the same time. So because we were all in that same cup of tea, I felt as if I was apart versus feeling isolated.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Okay. That's uh that's good to hear.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Yeah, and then from there, you know, just went on to my professional career, um, where I've actually spent the bulk of my career being a general manager, a PL owner, so a profit and loss owner, where I was running businesses up to $800 million globally across five continents, 40 countries. And that was some of my best work because it taught me how to work with people who are different than me. And how, even being from the United States, walking into a boardroom in South Africa is different. So it taught me how to be culturally competent.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Very fast.

SPEAKER_05 22:01

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

And that's very important because as we walk in and out of rooms, boardrooms today, offices, it's very likely that the people there are not going to have the same diversity dimensions as you.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Because it's rare. I walk into a room, everybody looks like me.

SPEAKER_03 22:19

Right. Right. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

So as a result of that, really honed in on that skill and learned a lot about the importance of networking, which is something that uh I learned on the way to climbing the corporate ladder.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

My parents taught me, you know, work hard, keep your head down, do the work, you'll get the promotion.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

When you climb the corporate ladder, we know there's a lot more in the equation than just that.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Yeah. And the thing is, you know, I so enjoyed our conversation the other day. Community, I asked uh Giselle to uh sort of brag on herself and just tell me all the things that she has done. And uh after being a little bit embarrassed, she said, okay, you know, and then shared a number of things. Here's one thing that stood out for me, and I want you to share this with the community. Community, right now, there are many of you out there that are uh concerned that DEI has been trashed, and uh, many of you that was the work that you're doing. And so uh there may be a lot of discouragement around that. And when you shared your story about South Africa and the success that you had there, and then uh the rest of the people within your organization were leaning on you in order to uh because of the relationship that you had with difficult people. Why don't you talk about that? Because I want people to grasp the power of preparedness, and that sometimes when your skill set uh really stands out, this is not all the time, but sometimes it really can level the playing field in different ways.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Thank you for asking. One of my prized experiences. So I went on an expat assignment, which means I was asked by my company. It was an engineering company, a Fortune 70 company at the time, and I was asked to actually work outside of my home country because I wanted to be a general manager managing a global business. And my I knew my company wouldn't allow me to do that if I didn't evidence that I could work well outside of my home country and be able to gain stellar results. So as a result, uh they sent me to South Africa. I was there for a whole year, and it was an amazing experience. Somehow, some way, I'm still not clear. I got to my project about two weeks late, and my team was already there.

SPEAKER_05 25:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Um, my team consisted of half Europeans, half South Africans. The Europeans had already done the type of work I was doing. I was there to actually stand up a new account. It was amalgamated banks of South Africa. And you have like you know over a hundred locations in South Africa. And when I got there, there was astigmatism already, right? It was, oh, she's from the United States, she's here to help the eye rolling, you know. Oh, I'm like, okay, yes, that's what I'm here for. And there was a young lady who had led the transition of a new account before. I had never done it.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

But it was given to me as my assignment.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

So started off with people, you know, thinking, hmm, can she really do this?

SPEAKER_04 25:56

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

And I would say I was plopped into a country that I had visited. So 10 years before, my church had gone to South Africa. I didn't know how much of a benefit it was going to be to my working there. And it was helpful because there were a number of Americans that I met through that visit who was still there. So I actually had um you know a base of people from the states that were similar to me. So that was awesome. And as time went on, I started to learn that um I stuck out a little bit. So my teammates all stayed at what was a, I guess I would say, of a Marriott courtyard. And um I was actually at a five-star hotel. So the Intercontinental. And we all went to work together and traveled back together. So they used to have to pick me up. And long story short, week two, my European host boss says to me, Giselle, the team is reporting that you're not a team player. So you know immediately. Like, what are they talking about? I'm like, I'm the best team player you can find.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

Right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

So it became, um, you know, she doesn't drink. Um, you know, she doesn't stay at our hotel, you know, she doesn't dine with us on Sundays. So when in Rome, right? So immediately, one thing I've learned in corporate is how to accept feedback. Whether you think it's true or not, right? This is someone's impression.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

Right.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

So I said to him, I said, so I do drink, but not like my European colleagues.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Because they can have a few and show up at work tomorrow and be on their P's and Q's. I can't do that.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

So that was one thing. So I said, you know what? I said, I will move my hotel to theirs until we get our own places, so that way they don't have to be inconvenienced. Um, and he said, for the drinking part, he said, just grab something, even if you just sip it through the night, just always have something in your hand. So I said, okay, I can actually do that.

SPEAKER_05 28:15

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Um, and then we because we were all half of us were expats, there was this camaraderie where they would get together every day after work. So we'd leave work, go to the hotel, have happy hour, go to the restaurant, have dinner, leave dinner, go to a bar, drink again, oh my, go to work, and you know, rent and repeat. So for me, I said in the United States, to be with colleagues five nights a week, right, that would be expensive.

SPEAKER_03 28:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

I said, but I've been doing it, right? I said, and I'm with them for brunch on Saturday.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

I said, but on Sunday, I would like to go to church. So I'm gonna go to church and I will see them on Monday.

SPEAKER_04 29:01

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

So then we got into that type of cadence, and then the the the silver lining in this all was they thought that I wasn't going to be able to lead well, which means they hadn't met me. Because if you've met me, you know I lead well.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Come on now, say it. Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

And what happened was we had a really tough client, and we became really good friends. I built a great relationship with her. And she drove a tight ship.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

But we were a service provider, so they're paying for a service. We should give them what we said that we were going to give them. So her answer oftentimes to my leadership was no, for things that um we didn't do that she was expecting. And it just created a rift. But what happened was I became the person that even when the executives would come over from the states to have meetings with the client periodically, they would always pull me in.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

Because they knew that I was going to be able to help them get what they wanted. So it's always important that wherever I plant my feet, and I'll say this to the audience, wherever you plant your feet, it's always important to be that person that's providing value so that people want you there. And it doesn't hurt when you surprise people, right? Right. Because sometimes people think, oh, well, we'll see. Yes, right. We'll see. It'll be amazing.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Uh so and even with my day-to-day work with the client, my peers would often try to butter me up, you know, can you ask the client for this? Can you ask the client for that? Long story short, um, we actually ended up having um the highest customer satisfaction score for uh an account startup in the in the the known history um of our organization. So I was very proud of that.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

This is an exact, this is an excellent example of my signature belief is that people-centered workplaces deliver better performance. You are you're simply talking about this is not technical knowledge, correct? Of course, that's a part of it, uh, but it is your ability to establish a relationship, a trusting relationship with a difficult client. And I would say when I say trusting, uh trust needs two components. There is a competency component, and then there's a relational component. And so it you can't, so if you were just a uh a BSer, you probably weren't going to be able to gain her confidence and her trust. But because you were great at technical things and you had some standards around that, and you had relationship skills, you you brought those together in ways that delivered tremendous value uh to your uh organization. I want to pivot us because community uh with uh Giselle and I, if we keep talking, we we'll run out the clock and won't get a chance to really talk about the topic that we've uh agreed that we're gonna share with you today. And our topic is uh don't let negativity uh steal your hope andor joy. And I'll tell you that uh right now, the world that we're living in, there is so much negativity all around us. Uh, we both feel this in our daily lives. I'm gonna just give this and then uh Giselle, I want you to sort of speak about why this topic is important for you and timely. Uh I would say that negativity uh can uh manifest itself in messages that we hear. And so every single day about negative notes because negativity gets our attention, and that's really what the war is over. Uh it's over our attention. And so we hear negative messages on social media, uh, on sports programs. I mean, just negativity everywhere because it drives viewership. So uh negativity from the messages that we hear, uh, negativity from the thoughts that we have. And I would say that because of the economy that we're in and all things that are just going on around us, uh, we are all battling negativity sometimes in our thinking. And then the third uh area that I think about negativity in is just life experiences, things that occur in our lives that can uh create some stress, uh, some pressure, uh, and and and overall negativity. I'm I'm just coming out of a disillusion of a marriage that was 37 years. And so if I'm not careful, that can literally lay on you like a weight, and you might not ever uh stand up. And so what I believe is that uh we have to lean into our faith in part to find ways to battle uh the negativity, even if it feels like a righteous battle. I'm saying that that's something that we have to be careful not to allow, negativity to steal our hope and joy. Giselle, what are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Well, I'm so glad that this is the topic you chose for this segment, because this taps on so many um and on an intersection of the work that I do. So when I think about it, it's about psychology, it's about leadership, it's about resilience, it's about well-being, you know, this whole piece around not allowing negativity to steal your joy. So I'm just gonna turn that upside down. And since I'm in the educational space, I want to share there is um a woman by the name of Dr. Barbara Frederickson, a researcher at the University of North Carolina. And she has this um theory around how positive emotions literally broaden our thinking. And this is why it's important, you know, to seek joy, you know, in times of negativity. And she has this framework called Broaden and Build Theory. And her research demonstrates that emotions such as joy, hope, gratitude, inspiration, amusement, and love increase productivity, improve creative problem solving, strengthen relationships, increase resilience, and help you recover quickly from stress. So I'm thrilled that you know, the the title of today speaks about negativity, but on the flip side of that, it's really all about joy.

SPEAKER_04 35:50

Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

And tough challenges, like you just mentioned, the dissolution of your marriage, um can really put us in a space that can be hard for us to pull ourselves out of. So I would say you mentioned um, you know, the DEI space, which is a space that I've worked in, and it's been a really challenging year, right? Um, where unfortunately I have become the subject of a conservative organization, and I was placed under attack. And while we recognize it's the environment that's creating that from a personal inner perspective, it's challenging to sit in a space like that. So I have had to, and it wasn't easy, but to turn that upside down. And it's important to see a through line through any challenge that you have.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

And one of the things when I think about may he rest in peace, Reverend Jesse Jackson, I went to his uh public funeral and was reminded of his mantra around keep hope alive.

SPEAKER_03 37:09

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

And it just ran, and since I've lived in Chicago for so long, I lived in Chicago for over a decade, but no people that personally met him. So everybody had their own personal Jesse Jackson stories. And what stood out at the funeral was the importance of the presence of hope in chaos, the presence of hope in negativity, right? Um, the presence of hope in challenge. Because as long as there is hope, there's the opportunity to get to the other side.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

When you stop hoping, believing that there is something on the other side, you have hoped yourself into there not being that. Right, right, and that too, Eric, has a can have a um negative impact on our health.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

I've witnessed that, right? Um, and it can get you into a down hood downhill spiral real fast.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

If you allow it, you have to remember you have a choice.

SPEAKER_02 38:17

Right. I love that. And so, community, uh, we want to take a moment to share with you that this topic doesn't come out of our having conquered it. That's right. That's right. Uh, it it comes as a response to a strategic attack that is aimed at uh people in society. And I would say uh this notion of not allowing negativity to just rob you. Uh, when I was thinking about uh Giselle and other women of color, uh part of the power, part of the value, not power, part of the value of DEI was it provided a mechanism through which you could fight back against structural isms. And so it's kind of like you were uh being overwhelmed in a world by structural isms, and finally you had a tool that no matter what people uh in our institutions meant for it to be, you know, and oftentimes we certainly saw that they were utilizing it for performative measures. Uh, in many ways, it still provided a vehicle that we could utilize to teach uh uh about the things that were uh directly and indirectly negatively affecting our lives, our careers, our ability to succeed. And when that carpet is snatched out from under you, in many ways, there's a mourning process that goes on. And community, what I'm saying to you this morning is that you've got to get up from mourning and find your way to excitement and find your way to uh this hope and joy that says that my joy and my hope are not dependent upon what is happening around me, that I get a chance to impact that simply from a state of mind, a frame of mind. And I really believe that these times that we're living in, they are going to demand of us that we embrace visions and that for those of us that have worked in the uh DEI space, then we have to utilize the tools and the messages that we've been teaching uh dominant cultural organizations, we got to embrace those ourselves. And before I ask you to share something else about your thinking on this and strategies that can help, I'm gonna ask Lydia to bring up uh this slide presentation. There's something that I've mentioned to you, Giselle, that I'm doing that uh is a part of it's a response to what we're going through. Uh my father was uh one of the founding assistant deans of Wright State University's a professional school of psychology, the Psy D program. Uh he died uh at a young age. Uh I uh I was at Anderson College, I transferred to Wright State because my dad was there as an assistant dean. And uh I was gonna have to sit out a year and then I was gonna play basketball, hopefully make the basketball team. And my dad and I used to just go to lunch all the time. And we finally transitioned from him being sort of the dad police of all things to really almost like my friend. And so we went to uh lunch every day and we talk about me trying out for the basketball team, and uh, and uh, and then that summer, after I was there a year, that summer he died of a massive heart attack. And I was I was there when my father was passing. He went to the hospital the first day and he told him he had a heart attack. They said, No, you didn't. And they sent him back home, said he hadn't been taking his medicine. The next day he felt the same way. And uh we called the ambulance and he gave me two things, Giselle, before he went to the hospital. He gave me his uh his wallet and his watch. And I and I felt like he gave me his wallet as uh sort of symbolic of being able to make a living for my family. And he gave me his watch uh as a symbol of the importance of time. And so uh I collect watches to this day as a result of the watch that my father gave to me. Now, when my father gave that watch to me, when my brother, my older brother, came home, he snatched that watch. And literally, my brother and I were about to fight over this watch. My grandmother told my brother, she said, Give Eric the watch. You know, your father gave it to him. He said, But I'm the oldest. And literally, I just let it go. And he kept that watch for about 15 years, and then he got in a car accident and almost lost his hand. And he called me up. He said, Eric, I was wrong when I took this watch. He said, and uh he said, I'm gonna send it back to you. And uh so he sent it to me. And by that time, Giselle, I had collected watches and I didn't know why. But I was collecting watches because I was trying to replace the one that my dad had given to me. And so when he sent it back, it was all dusty and everything. So I put it down, yeah. I said, I I don't even need this. Look at all these watches. And so I sent it out to have it restored. And when they sent it back, I put it on my wrist and my hand looked like my dad's hand. And I was so proud to have that. And then uh I had it for 10 years, and my brother came over, my younger brother came over to my house for Thanksgiving, and he said, uh, dad had promised that watch to him. And my dad was a good man, but he used to name call or have little labels for each of us. And my my my brother was gay, and my father was really kind of down on that. And so I believed that he uh deserved this watch. And so I went upstairs and I got. It and I gave it to him. He said, I don't have anybody to leave it to. I said, You can leave it to you know my children if you like. Uh, but uh I give watches away now as a result of uh my father giving me that people that I care about. I'll give them a watch and remind him of the importance of time. Uh Lydia, if you could bring that back up. So this uh Ellis Institute is a building that Wright State University uh developed, and uh they named it in honor of my father and the impact that he had, not only at Wright State University, but at uh in the Dayton community, uh in the model cities programs, and he was just a civil rights leader in every way. And so uh the building's probably 20 years old. Uh Wright State's never found a real traction uh to be able to, you know, make things happen here. And now it looks like there may be an opportunity for us to try to buy the Ellis Institute. And so this is a vision. I'm telling you, community, that you don't want to sit around and just focus on negativity. No matter what's happening in the DEI industry, inclusion industry, I've pivoted uh to something new. Uh, but I also realize that nobody can stop what our purpose is here on earth. And so trying to buy this building right now and look at a family-led uh redevelopment project honoring uh my father and his legacy. Let's go to the next slide if you can switch to that. Uh the opportunities to redevelop a known community institution into a modern platform, the strategic thesis, a recognized facility, can become a regional hub where people do not just learn leadership, they practice it, fund it, build through it, uh, carry it back into the community and companies uh to preserve and extend my father's legacy, to create a pipeline of leaders who strengthen communities, to build community wealth and opportunity, a convening space for investors, employers, entrepreneurs, residents. Let's go to the last slide. And community, I'm sharing this with you because I want you to hear this vision and maybe believe that you're supposed to be a part of this. You see, because right now we have to stop looking. There's nobody that's coming to save us. We've got to save ourselves. And this Ellis Institute is 30,000 square feet. And I believe uh that there are four programmatic engines inside this program, this building, uh, a leadership academy, uh, an entrepreneurship uh launch uh pad, uh a tech startup uh studio, and then wealth building clinic and uh sort of health and mental health development. And so those are the things that we have on the table right now. And we've got some people that are enthusiastically partnering with us already. And I'm saying to you, community, do not lay down, do not let negativity strength steamroll you. Get up and think about what God created you to do and use the talent, skills, and abilities that you have to make a difference. Let's take this down and uh Giselle, I'm uh back to you. Your your thoughts uh on this or next step. Wow, Eric, that's incredible. Well, uh, you know, God is a good thing. What a blessing. Yeah, and uh, and I hope we can get it to the finish line. But but here's the thing hope for me is uh sort of connected to faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen. And so hope is the seed that that that births life in us, and it's it's not actually uh totally necessary for things to be completed. It's beautiful if they are, but hope is the thing that births ideas and says that I can continue to dream and nobody can stop me from becoming what I was created to be.

SPEAKER_00 48:00

Absolutely, and I'm sure that your father is looking down on you with a sense of pride and a huge smile.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Right. I love that. I believe that, I believe that, and I'm so grateful that there are other people that can see that vision as well. And so it's been the thing that for all my life, I've wanted to own a building. And I've been saying that all my professional life. I'm just now thinking about this for the first time, right here on this show, that that thing that I've been saying forever may come true right here through my father's building. And I've never, I didn't put those two together, that that was one of my dreams. Uh, but one of my real passions is around communities, marginalized communities, and that's not simply communities of color, that's Appalachian, white communities, that's anybody that is marginalized or set on the side of the road for any reason. And I know, Giselle, that that is your uh gift, your strength, your passion as well. What are some other things that people can do in your in your view to help them not be run over by negativity and be able to hold on to hope and joy?

SPEAKER_00 49:13

Sure. So I would say I would say three things. And you evidence that by what you just shared. And I would say to always guard what you give your attention to. When the walls seem like they're closing in, don't give attention to the fact that the walls are closing in because clearly you have pivoted, so have I, right? And what the research says, neuroscience shows we have a natural negativity bias, right? So our brains are wired to notice threats more than positive experiences. And if we aren't intentional, negative news, criticism, conflict can dominate what we think, right? So it's important to, in this environment, I would say limit exposure to constant negative news in social media, right? Ask yourself is this helping me or just consuming my attention? End each day, and I'm practicing this, a new practice, by identifying three positive moments, no matter how small, that happened in your day. Because I remember when I even just think about you know what happened to George Floyd, for example, I could not rest at night. So I had to find ways to guard what I was giving attention to, right? So that's an example. So I would say what captures your attention eventually can shape your outlook. So try to put your attention on things that are positive. Guard that with all that you can. Second, I would say reframe the story that you're telling yourself, right? Um, so there's a psychologist named Martin Selman, who works on optimism and shows that resilient people don't ignore their setbacks, but they just interpret them differently. They see challenges as temporary and specific, not permanent and defining. Okay, so instead of everything is going wrong, the walls are caving in.

SPEAKER_03 51:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Try to look at the situation and say, this is difficult, but it will not last forever. And that gets to the hope that you were just speaking about.

SPEAKER_02 51:44

Right. And I'll tell you, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Yeah, and so so I'll tell you that um we are not speaking about ignoring the reality that sometimes is challenging. That's real. Uh, that's something that we have to acknowledge, but we don't need to allow it to define our lives, and it we don't need to allow it to be the only thing that we see. I was uh forgive me for all the golf, but I love golf, sorry, y'all. Uh, but uh I was out on a golf course with uh I golf with a club of uh of men and women that golf uh usually on the weekends, and so I was just out with two of the two of our members, uh, male and female. We were just out golfing on a Saturday afternoon, and I'll tell you the sun was on the ground. I had uh my boom box. Come on now, you know we're gonna bring boom boxes to the golf course. I mean, for real. You know, that's yeah, that's what I'm doing. We out here free. I paid my round, and so I'm out there with the boom box blasting, uh singing in my cart, hitting golf shots, looking at these beautiful trees and plants and flowers and this beautiful green fairway. And I knew then that God was real and that joy is absolutely free. Uh the greatest things in life, I believe, are free. They're the things that God created. Uh, I remember going to Hawaii and I was driving up one mountain, and on one side, you could see the ocean for as far as you could see. And on the other side, Giselle, there was the Grand Waimea Canyon, this big red, deep canyon uh that was as deep as you could see. And I literally would just turn my head from one side of the road to the other, and I was looking at breathtaking sceneries. And so, community, what I'm saying to you is don't allow yourself to get caught up in all the things that are happening in the world around you, in your community, or even in your own personal life, yes, to disempower you and to take away the engine of of uh of excitement, of of positivity, uh, the engine of ingenuity, of innovation, all those things can get taken away by simply allowing the negative messages to dominate your life. If you just take a moment, there are a whole bunch of people around the world that would trade their lives with yours in a nanosecond, and we cannot find ourselves. And I'll tell you, I was out with my pastor the other day, and he said to me, He said, Eric, this is what we've lost. He said, We've lost fellowship. Uh, community, we are so involved if we're not careful with doing work that we don't ever really see real people enough in order to just sit around and talk. Uh, you know, now that I'm uh kind of in the house by myself, I invited a friend of mine that was in town to not stay in a hotel, but to come stay with me. And he stayed in my house and we just sat up all night and talked and told stories until we fell asleep. But I think that those things can create the kind of joy and hope that we need.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

You are in my head, Eric, because the third point that I was going to make is about the importance of protecting our circles. Right? Because emotions can be contagious. Like you said, you were up at night having conversations, right? It just catches on. And studies show that we absorb the attitudes and emotions, you know, of those that are around us. So we need to ask ourselves who are we giving our energy to? Right, who is consistently draining that energy, right? Who speaks joy and hope into our lives? This doesn't mean we avoid um you know people who are struggling because sometimes, you know, sometimes we're struggling, right? Oh, we are struggling, yeah. There's no doubt that that's happening. It's real, right? But it means not allowing chronic negativity to become your emotional climate, right? Right? So your environment influences your emotions more than your intentions do. So I would say, you know, those those three points that I would give our audience guard what you give your attention to. It's your responsibility. Do not let people we give up our peace too easily sometimes. Right. I love that. I like how that sounds. That's gorgeous. So don't don't give your peace away.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

Reframe the story you've been telling yourself. Right? The situation is difficult, but it won't last forever. Right and last, protect your circle.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

That's excellent. And so I I want to say, I want to share a story. Uh, probably about 20 years ago, I was uh had a friend that uh approached me and he said, Hey, Eric, uh, you know, you need to be, you know, I I I'm a mechanic, and you could uh buy me a shop, man, and put me on. He said, and it's kind of sad that you know, our people that are on top, uh, you know, they don't uh, you know, uh, you know, give back enough to the community and to others who are trying to make it. And so he came at me like that. And at that point, my business was on a low. I had just lost a big contract, uh, because I was a subcontractor to another firm and they lost this contract. And I was like, man, you don't even know me. I was like, I mean, my house is in foreclosure right now. What are you talking about? And I remember going home that evening and complaining to God. I was like, God, how is it gonna be that this guy's gonna, you know, say to me that I ought to be putting him on, you know, you know what condition I'm in right now. And God said, Eric, are you complaining about seeing the people seeing you the made the way that I made you? God said that you are not a subtotal of your current situation. Uh, you are wealthy, and wealth comes in a greater package than just your current condition financially. God said that to me, I just shut up, like, okay, God, really? I mean, that's how God be doing it, you know. Like, uh, how are you gonna complain about people seeing you the way that I made you? And community, that's what we're saying to you today. Don't trade in the authentic AI and don't allow your current condition or situations to define the substance of who you are. I feel like uh this episode in many ways is intended to rescue some of you. Uh, people are just feeling like I'm gonna fight this whole craziness in the world around me by myself. Uh, we as a people, oftentimes we have complained, we've protested, and we've tried to work harder. Those are the three strategies that we oftentimes use in difficult times is we complain, we protest, we try to work harder, and you can't get there through any of those uh means by themselves. You ultimately have to get your head up out of the sand. You gotta, those of us that like to have elbows flying, we're gonna work our way through. We've got to stop doing that, and we've got to reach out to one another and connect. And I'm so glad that I connected with you, my friend, and I'm gonna give you the final word.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

Me too. Thank you, Eric, for reconnecting and bringing me back for a second time. And I'd like to just leave the audience with this uh one of the greatest gifts we can give the people around us is emotional stewardship. So every day we choose whether we're going to multiply fear or multiply hope. So every time you have the opportunity, consider am I multiplying hope or not? And if you're not, get into that direction. That's why protecting your joy is not selfish. It's one of the most generous things you can do for everyone whose life you touch.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

That is powerful. I am so glad. And I know our community is just giving you a standing ovation right now. Community, we thank you for joining us again, and we're going to invite you back next week for another installment of Diversity Conversations. Take care. Love someone.