{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Cora","startTime":50.650000000000006,"endTime":55.660000000000004,"body":"What do you know about"},{"speaker":"Cora","startTime":50.650000000000006,"endTime":55.660000000000004,"body":"yourself? I like to read a lot."},{"speaker":"Cora","startTime":55.78,"endTime":66.16,"body":"And I like to draw and do valet."},{"speaker":"Cora","startTime":55.78,"endTime":66.16,"body":"And I also like to do science"},{"speaker":"Cora","startTime":66.16,"endTime":67.54,"body":"experiments"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":78.01,"endTime":80.47,"body":"Welcome to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":78.01,"endTime":80.47,"body":"first person plural emotional"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":80.47,"endTime":83.65,"body":"intelligence and beyond. I'm"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":80.47,"endTime":83.65,"body":"Elizabeth Solomon."},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":83.80000000000001,"endTime":86.47,"body":"And I'm Daniel"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":83.80000000000001,"endTime":86.47,"body":"Goleman. Our third host, Hanuman"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":86.47,"endTime":90.31,"body":"Goleman is way on a retreat."},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":86.47,"endTime":90.31,"body":"He'll be back next episode."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":90.55000000000001,"endTime":93.43,"body":"So in today's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":90.55000000000001,"endTime":93.43,"body":"episode on self awareness, and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":93.43,"endTime":97.09,"body":"just to set the context for our"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":93.43,"endTime":97.09,"body":"listeners, this is a third"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":97.09,"endTime":101.11000000000001,"body":"interview in a three part"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":97.09,"endTime":101.11000000000001,"body":"series. So we started off this"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":101.11000000000001,"endTime":104.56,"body":"series on self awareness by"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":101.11000000000001,"endTime":104.56,"body":"talking to Dan Harris, the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":104.56,"endTime":110.08000000000001,"body":"founder of 10%, happier looking"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":104.56,"endTime":110.08000000000001,"body":"at the philosophy of self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":110.08000000000001,"endTime":114.31,"body":"awareness, if you will. And then"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":110.08000000000001,"endTime":114.31,"body":"we spoke to Leslie nips, who's a"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":114.34,"endTime":117.31,"body":"systemic constellate are looking"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":114.34,"endTime":117.31,"body":"at how awareness plays out in"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":117.31,"endTime":120.55000000000001,"body":"the system's level. And today,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":117.31,"endTime":120.55000000000001,"body":"we're here talking about self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":120.55000000000001,"endTime":123.22,"body":"awareness from a very first"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":120.55000000000001,"endTime":123.22,"body":"person experience."},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":123.85,"endTime":127.0,"body":"Self awareness"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":123.85,"endTime":127.0,"body":"generally means knowing what"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":127.0,"endTime":130.54,"body":"you're feeling, why you're"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":127.0,"endTime":130.54,"body":"feeling it, and what it leads"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":130.54,"endTime":134.20000000000002,"body":"you to do in terms of how it"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":130.54,"endTime":134.20000000000002,"body":"might shape your perceptions or"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":134.20000000000002,"endTime":139.48,"body":"your impulses. And one of the"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":134.20000000000002,"endTime":139.48,"body":"things that fascinates me about"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":139.48,"endTime":143.23,"body":"self awareness is blind spots"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":139.48,"endTime":143.23,"body":"are things that we don't allow"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":143.23,"endTime":148.63,"body":"ourselves to notice, or that"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":143.23,"endTime":148.63,"body":"aren't consensually allowed. And"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":148.63,"endTime":152.71,"body":"I think it's a very crucial"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":148.63,"endTime":152.71,"body":"part, because it means that we"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":152.71,"endTime":158.92000000000002,"body":"can know what we don't know or"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":152.71,"endTime":158.92000000000002,"body":"know what we can't say, instead"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":158.92000000000002,"endTime":160.27,"body":"of just turning away from it."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":160.84,"endTime":163.21,"body":"Today, on"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":160.84,"endTime":163.21,"body":"first person plural, we are"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":163.21,"endTime":167.08,"body":"talking with Akela colas, our"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":163.21,"endTime":167.08,"body":"who is a clinical psychologist"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":167.08,"endTime":170.98,"body":"specializing in trauma,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":167.08,"endTime":170.98,"body":"relationship dynamics, identity"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":170.98,"endTime":173.86,"body":"development, anxiety and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":170.98,"endTime":173.86,"body":"depression and difficult"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":173.86,"endTime":177.28,"body":"transitions. With a doctorate"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":173.86,"endTime":177.28,"body":"from the Institute of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":177.28,"endTime":181.3,"body":"transpersonal psychology, she"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":177.28,"endTime":181.3,"body":"takes a whole person approach to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":181.3,"endTime":185.38000000000002,"body":"psychotherapy, addressing the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":181.3,"endTime":185.38000000000002,"body":"physical, mental, and spiritual"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":185.38000000000002,"endTime":189.28,"body":"self and each of her clients."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":185.38000000000002,"endTime":189.28,"body":"She currently serves clients"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":189.28,"endTime":192.58,"body":"through her private practice in"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":189.28,"endTime":192.58,"body":"the San Francisco Bay Area."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":193.18,"endTime":197.95000000000002,"body":"Welcome Akela we're so happy to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":193.18,"endTime":197.95000000000002,"body":"have you on the show. In a"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":197.95000000000002,"endTime":201.73000000000002,"body":"previous conversation that we"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":197.95000000000002,"endTime":201.73000000000002,"body":"had, I was telling a story to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":201.73000000000002,"endTime":205.99,"body":"you about laying on my bed when"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":201.73000000000002,"endTime":205.99,"body":"I was about seven years old, and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":206.02,"endTime":208.78,"body":"staring at the ceiling and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":206.02,"endTime":208.78,"body":"having this kind of moment of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":208.78,"endTime":213.88000000000002,"body":"like, what am I doing here on"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":208.78,"endTime":213.88000000000002,"body":"the planet? Who am I? What is"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":213.88000000000002,"endTime":217.69,"body":"this body? What is this thing we"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":213.88000000000002,"endTime":217.69,"body":"call life? Is this just a dream?"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":217.96,"endTime":221.17000000000002,"body":"And you responded to that story"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":217.96,"endTime":221.17000000000002,"body":"with a story of a kind of your"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":221.17000000000002,"endTime":225.52,"body":"own? First very young,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":221.17000000000002,"endTime":225.52,"body":"existential moment, and I'd love"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":225.52,"endTime":227.92000000000002,"body":"to just have you share that with"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":225.52,"endTime":227.92000000000002,"body":"our listeners."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":228.49,"endTime":230.68,"body":"Yeah, it's funny"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":228.49,"endTime":230.68,"body":"how staring at the ceiling can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":230.68,"endTime":237.13000000000002,"body":"be a real venue for self"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":230.68,"endTime":237.13000000000002,"body":"exploration as a kiddo. The"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":237.13000000000002,"endTime":241.24,"body":"story I told you then was I was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":237.13000000000002,"endTime":241.24,"body":"probably about five, and I was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":241.27,"endTime":244.45000000000002,"body":"visiting my grandma, which I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":241.27,"endTime":244.45000000000002,"body":"periodically do for a little"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":244.45000000000002,"endTime":248.74,"body":"sleepover. And you know, the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":244.45000000000002,"endTime":248.74,"body":"environment was not the warmest"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":248.74,"endTime":253.87,"body":"she was like this conservative,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":248.74,"endTime":253.87,"body":"Polish Catholic, daughter of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":253.87,"endTime":257.98,"body":"immigrants. Lady, you know, who"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":253.87,"endTime":257.98,"body":"had a what felt to me like a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":257.98,"endTime":262.36,"body":"sterile home, pictures of Jesus"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":257.98,"endTime":262.36,"body":"and crucifixes everywhere and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":262.36,"endTime":266.02,"body":"that sort of thing. Saints, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":262.36,"endTime":266.02,"body":"know, thrown in drawers because"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":266.02,"endTime":267.90999999999997,"body":"of the magical things that would"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":266.02,"endTime":267.90999999999997,"body":"do when they were in this or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":267.90999999999997,"endTime":271.6,"body":"that drawer, that sort of thing."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":267.90999999999997,"endTime":271.6,"body":"And it was time for bed. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":271.6,"endTime":275.17,"body":"going into the guest room, which"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":271.6,"endTime":275.17,"body":"of course was like, the room"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":275.17,"endTime":277.9,"body":"that my dad slept in, when he"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":275.17,"endTime":277.9,"body":"was a kid, that bed was very"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":277.9,"endTime":280.93,"body":"high. And so it was a very"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":277.9,"endTime":280.93,"body":"strange bed to me. And she would"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":280.93,"endTime":284.40999999999997,"body":"tuck me in. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":280.93,"endTime":284.40999999999997,"body":"there's a crucifix over my head"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":284.40999999999997,"endTime":288.28,"body":"and photos of my aunt and my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":284.40999999999997,"endTime":288.28,"body":"uncle and my dad, all probably"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":288.28,"endTime":290.95,"body":"their senior photos. You know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":288.28,"endTime":290.95,"body":"they were teenagers, which also"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":290.95,"endTime":295.12,"body":"felt like I was kind of back in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":290.95,"endTime":295.12,"body":"time. And we'd always pray"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":295.63,"endTime":298.69,"body":"before bed. One of the prayers"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":295.63,"endTime":298.69,"body":"referred to God as our Father,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":299.2,"endTime":303.01,"body":"you know, and I kind of asked"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":299.2,"endTime":303.01,"body":"her like, well, how is God my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":303.01,"endTime":306.07,"body":"father, if I already have a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":303.01,"endTime":306.07,"body":"father, and she's like, Well,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":306.07,"endTime":311.59,"body":"God's all of our fathers, God"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":306.07,"endTime":311.59,"body":"created everything. And there"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":311.59,"endTime":314.44,"body":"was an immensity or kind of in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":311.59,"endTime":314.44,"body":"awe of that, that I really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":314.44,"endTime":319.0,"body":"remember of, like remembering"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":314.44,"endTime":319.0,"body":"the kids tales of Genesis and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":319.06,"endTime":322.06,"body":"things like that, that I had"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":319.06,"endTime":322.06,"body":"been exposed to as a kid raised"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":322.06,"endTime":325.9,"body":"Catholic and the Catholic school"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":322.06,"endTime":325.9,"body":"and all of that, and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":325.9,"endTime":329.5,"body":"kind of sitting there with her"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":325.9,"endTime":329.5,"body":"and that that immensity of God"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":329.5,"endTime":333.90999999999997,"body":"creating everything of having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":329.5,"endTime":333.90999999999997,"body":"this new thought to me as a kid,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":333.90999999999997,"endTime":336.66999999999996,"body":"oh, going, Wait a minute, if God"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":333.90999999999997,"endTime":336.66999999999996,"body":"created everything who created"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":336.66999999999996,"endTime":341.77,"body":"God? And the mood just totally"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":336.66999999999996,"endTime":341.77,"body":"shifted? You know, you could"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":341.77,"endTime":345.01,"body":"just feel grandma kind of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":341.77,"endTime":345.01,"body":"tighten up. This was not a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":345.01,"endTime":347.28999999999996,"body":"question that was really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":345.01,"endTime":347.28999999999996,"body":"welcomed that warmth or that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":347.28999999999996,"endTime":349.99,"body":"openness that had been there"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":347.28999999999996,"endTime":349.99,"body":"just kind of got like sucked out"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":350.02,"endTime":354.03999999999996,"body":"of the room. And she's like,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":350.02,"endTime":354.03999999999996,"body":"well, we don't, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":354.03999999999996,"endTime":356.44,"body":"don't even have those don't have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":354.03999999999996,"endTime":356.44,"body":"those thoughts. It was kind of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":356.44,"endTime":359.34999999999997,"body":"just shut down my heart. And"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":356.44,"endTime":359.34999999999997,"body":"then she kind of tucked me in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":359.34999999999997,"endTime":363.66999999999996,"body":"and left. And so here I'm left"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":359.34999999999997,"endTime":363.66999999999996,"body":"now terrified, in a sense by"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":363.72999999999996,"endTime":367.39,"body":"this whole beautiful image that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":363.72999999999996,"endTime":367.39,"body":"was created, you know, of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":367.39,"endTime":370.87,"body":"everything's in its place,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":367.39,"endTime":370.87,"body":"creator and creation. And now"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":370.87,"endTime":373.65999999999997,"body":"I'm alone in this room with this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":370.87,"endTime":373.65999999999997,"body":"creepy nightlight that kind of,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":373.78,"endTime":377.34999999999997,"body":"you know, lit up the crucifix in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":373.78,"endTime":377.34999999999997,"body":"this way going, Oh, my God, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":377.38,"endTime":381.7,"body":"bug guide quite literally, oh my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":377.38,"endTime":381.7,"body":"god, right. Like, what's greater"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":381.7,"endTime":385.96,"body":"than the greatest thing that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":381.7,"endTime":385.96,"body":"that we can imagine? And I don't"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":385.96,"endTime":388.15,"body":"remember at this point if I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":385.96,"endTime":388.15,"body":"slept or not that night, but I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":388.15,"endTime":390.54999999999995,"body":"did remember, she's not the one"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":388.15,"endTime":390.54999999999995,"body":"that I can talk to you about it."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":391.53999999999996,"endTime":393.66999999999996,"body":"And, you know, eventually"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":391.53999999999996,"endTime":393.66999999999996,"body":"learned that I couldn't really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":393.66999999999996,"endTime":398.2,"body":"talk to many people in the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":393.66999999999996,"endTime":398.2,"body":"school or in the faith that I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":398.2,"endTime":400.87,"body":"was raised in. I couldn't talk"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":398.2,"endTime":400.87,"body":"to many people about that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":400.87,"endTime":404.59,"body":"question there. So I started"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":400.87,"endTime":404.59,"body":"looking elsewhere."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":405.07,"endTime":406.84,"body":"I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":405.07,"endTime":406.84,"body":"start with that story. Because I"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":406.84,"endTime":410.77,"body":"think, well, it might not seem"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":406.84,"endTime":410.77,"body":"so directly related to self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":410.77,"endTime":413.46999999999997,"body":"awareness, right to be asking"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":410.77,"endTime":413.46999999999997,"body":"these kind of larger existential"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":413.46999999999997,"endTime":416.28999999999996,"body":"questions. I think the question"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":413.46999999999997,"endTime":416.28999999999996,"body":"that lies at the heart of self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":416.28999999999996,"endTime":419.10999999999996,"body":"awareness is equally is"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":416.28999999999996,"endTime":419.10999999999996,"body":"existential right, which is who"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":419.10999999999996,"endTime":422.97999999999996,"body":"am I? And whether that's trying"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":419.10999999999996,"endTime":422.97999999999996,"body":"to figure out who am I in the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":422.97999999999996,"endTime":428.02,"body":"context of what we know about"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":422.97999999999996,"endTime":428.02,"body":"religion or creation? Or who am"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":428.02,"endTime":431.74,"body":"I in the context of something"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":428.02,"endTime":431.74,"body":"more close, like a one on one"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":431.77,"endTime":436.63,"body":"relationship? But I want to hear"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":431.77,"endTime":436.63,"body":"a little bit about the many"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":436.63,"endTime":439.53999999999996,"body":"iterations of that question that"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":436.63,"endTime":439.53999999999996,"body":"you might have asked yourself"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":439.57,"endTime":442.15,"body":"over the years, and I hear"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":439.57,"endTime":442.15,"body":"coming through in this story"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":442.15,"endTime":447.07,"body":"that starting with this piece of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":442.15,"endTime":447.07,"body":"who am I, in my surroundings?"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":447.09999999999997,"endTime":449.65,"body":"What is my religious identity,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":447.09999999999997,"endTime":449.65,"body":"right, some of these questions"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":449.65,"endTime":452.40999999999997,"body":"about identity, that fold into"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":449.65,"endTime":452.40999999999997,"body":"self awareness."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":452.89,"endTime":455.68,"body":"See, identity is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":452.89,"endTime":455.68,"body":"kind of a hard one. For me, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":455.68,"endTime":458.95,"body":"find that like, I can go back"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":455.68,"endTime":458.95,"body":"and fill in some of the gaps."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":458.95,"endTime":463.65999999999997,"body":"But where I have now is that I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":458.95,"endTime":463.65999999999997,"body":"feel like the older I get, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":463.65999999999997,"endTime":469.41999999999996,"body":"the more I'm on my own road of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":463.65999999999997,"endTime":469.41999999999996,"body":"self discovery and discovery of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":469.41999999999996,"endTime":472.99,"body":"what this thing is magical thing"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":469.41999999999996,"endTime":472.99,"body":"of life really is, the more my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":472.99,"endTime":476.53,"body":"identities have kind of fallen"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":472.99,"endTime":476.53,"body":"away or fallen to the wayside,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":476.53,"endTime":479.83,"body":"like I can grab them in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":476.53,"endTime":479.83,"body":"conversation. You know, like the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":479.83,"endTime":482.10999999999996,"body":"work I've done around racial"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":479.83,"endTime":482.10999999999996,"body":"identity, I can be like, Yes,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":482.10999999999996,"endTime":484.9,"body":"I'm a white person. And this is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":482.10999999999996,"endTime":484.9,"body":"what that means, you know, or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":484.9,"endTime":489.03999999999996,"body":"Yes, I'm a woman or identified"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":484.9,"endTime":489.03999999999996,"body":"as a woman. And along the way, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":489.03999999999996,"endTime":492.15999999999997,"body":"feel like identity has been"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":489.03999999999996,"endTime":492.15999999999997,"body":"really useful for me to kind of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":492.15999999999997,"endTime":496.33,"body":"get where I am now. And perhaps"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":492.15999999999997,"endTime":496.33,"body":"part of that path has been a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":496.33,"endTime":499.81,"body":"search for what am I that's led"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":496.33,"endTime":499.81,"body":"me to this place of needing"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":499.81,"endTime":503.77,"body":"identity at this point or not? I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":499.81,"endTime":503.77,"body":"don't know the language around"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":503.77,"endTime":507.07,"body":"it is not totally formed. But"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":503.77,"endTime":507.07,"body":"it's something that that when"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":507.07,"endTime":510.64,"body":"asked kind of who am I though,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":507.07,"endTime":510.64,"body":"the words that come are more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":510.82,"endTime":514.36,"body":"kind of descriptors of how I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":510.82,"endTime":514.36,"body":"show up for how I try to show up"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":514.36,"endTime":517.9,"body":"for my values, as opposed to,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":514.36,"endTime":517.9,"body":"you know, what we might think of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":517.9,"endTime":521.62,"body":"as like, identity politics, like"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":517.9,"endTime":521.62,"body":"the the identities that others"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":521.62,"endTime":525.01,"body":"see us, as you know, or get"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":521.62,"endTime":525.01,"body":"reflected, you know, the social"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":525.01,"endTime":527.38,"body":"relationship. And so seeker"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":525.01,"endTime":527.38,"body":"would be one of those"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":527.38,"endTime":532.0,"body":"identities, early experiences,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":527.38,"endTime":532.0,"body":"as a kid has really, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":532.24,"endTime":535.0,"body":"and I think probably part of my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":532.24,"endTime":535.0,"body":"character was that I was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":535.0,"endTime":538.54,"body":"probably born with was really to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":535.0,"endTime":538.54,"body":"go out and seek the answers to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":538.54,"endTime":542.02,"body":"these big questions that would"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":538.54,"endTime":542.02,"body":"just pop up inside. And nature"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":542.02,"endTime":547.78,"body":"was a huge place where I would"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":542.02,"endTime":547.78,"body":"explore that. And so being like"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":547.78,"endTime":550.57,"body":"an earth warrior was certainly"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":547.78,"endTime":550.57,"body":"an identity for a while, while"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":550.57,"endTime":554.83,"body":"I'm really trying to let go of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":550.57,"endTime":554.83,"body":"that idea of warrior. Even, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":554.83,"endTime":557.05,"body":"know, as I come more into"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":554.83,"endTime":557.05,"body":"midlife, it was something really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":557.05,"endTime":561.1,"body":"important to me, definitely, as"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":557.05,"endTime":561.1,"body":"a teen 20s, even 30s. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":561.1,"endTime":563.71,"body":"asking myself, like, Is this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":561.1,"endTime":563.71,"body":"getting me the result that that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":563.71,"endTime":566.05,"body":"I want, or even we as a planet"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":563.71,"endTime":566.05,"body":"really need right now?"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":566.35,"endTime":567.79,"body":"I think"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":566.35,"endTime":567.79,"body":"you're speaking to something so"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":567.79,"endTime":570.46,"body":"beautiful that on this path of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":567.79,"endTime":570.46,"body":"self awareness, like there's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":570.46,"endTime":572.74,"body":"many levels to self awareness,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":570.46,"endTime":572.74,"body":"right. So there's just like"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":572.74,"endTime":575.53,"body":"becoming aware of our bodies"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":572.74,"endTime":575.53,"body":"becoming aware of our emotions,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":575.53,"endTime":577.72,"body":"which is part of the way that we"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":575.53,"endTime":577.72,"body":"talk about it and emotional"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":577.72,"endTime":580.6899999999999,"body":"intelligence. And then as we've"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":577.72,"endTime":580.6899999999999,"body":"kicked off this conversation,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":580.6899999999999,"endTime":584.47,"body":"becoming aware of who we are in"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":580.6899999999999,"endTime":584.47,"body":"the world, and I resonate with"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":584.47,"endTime":586.36,"body":"what you're saying, because I"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":584.47,"endTime":586.36,"body":"think it's true that we're like,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":586.36,"endTime":590.23,"body":"Okay, I'm discovering myself and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":586.36,"endTime":590.23,"body":"looking at my feelings, right,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":590.23,"endTime":594.61,"body":"I'm looking at how I show up in"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":590.23,"endTime":594.61,"body":"certain contexts. And there are"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":594.61,"endTime":598.0,"body":"these things, these titles that"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":594.61,"endTime":598.0,"body":"I can give to sort of talk about"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":598.0,"endTime":601.42,"body":"those things in a very concise"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":598.0,"endTime":601.42,"body":"way. And then eventually,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":601.42,"endTime":605.1999999999999,"body":"sometimes those titles start to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":601.42,"endTime":605.1999999999999,"body":"feel like narratives that we"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":605.1999999999999,"endTime":609.25,"body":"don't fit entirely into, right."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":605.1999999999999,"endTime":609.25,"body":"And so, as we continue on the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":609.25,"endTime":611.98,"body":"journey of sort of self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":609.25,"endTime":611.98,"body":"awareness or self exploration,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":611.98,"endTime":615.22,"body":"we realize, Oh, I'm much more"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":611.98,"endTime":615.22,"body":"vast than even that single"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":615.22,"endTime":619.12,"body":"identity or that group of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":615.22,"endTime":619.12,"body":"identities. How that could"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":619.12,"endTime":625.81,"body":"describe me. I'm curious, when"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":619.12,"endTime":625.81,"body":"you think about self awareness,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":625.9,"endTime":628.39,"body":"in the context of your own"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":625.9,"endTime":628.39,"body":"experience, what are the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":628.39,"endTime":631.09,"body":"different ways that you think"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":628.39,"endTime":631.09,"body":"about self awareness or this"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":631.09,"endTime":633.64,"body":"capacity to become aware of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":631.09,"endTime":633.64,"body":"yourself?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":635.0799999999999,"endTime":638.59,"body":"Wow, it's a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":635.0799999999999,"endTime":638.59,"body":"great question. I mean, for me,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":638.59,"endTime":643.93,"body":"I think of our nervous system as"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":638.59,"endTime":643.93,"body":"really being one way to think"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":643.93,"endTime":647.62,"body":"about a nervous system is kind"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":643.93,"endTime":647.62,"body":"of like our our gut reaction,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":647.8,"endTime":651.0699999999999,"body":"our instinctual or gut reaction"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":647.8,"endTime":651.0699999999999,"body":"to the world. to know, that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":651.0699999999999,"endTime":653.62,"body":"incorporates more than the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":651.0699999999999,"endTime":653.62,"body":"nervous system explicitly, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":653.62,"endTime":656.05,"body":"know, the pulmonary system, the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":653.62,"endTime":656.05,"body":"heart by cardiac, I know"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":656.05,"endTime":658.72,"body":"incorporates more, but what I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":656.05,"endTime":658.72,"body":"mean by a nervous system is kind"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":658.72,"endTime":662.8299999999999,"body":"of pointing to that way that we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":658.72,"endTime":662.8299999999999,"body":"kind of instinctually respond,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":663.16,"endTime":666.85,"body":"that first hit we get, before we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":663.16,"endTime":666.85,"body":"even identify a feeling as an"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":666.85,"endTime":670.63,"body":"emotion, what's the sensation"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":666.85,"endTime":670.63,"body":"that's there, and in my body,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":671.53,"endTime":675.49,"body":"you know, and kids are really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":671.53,"endTime":675.49,"body":"aware of this often, because"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":675.49,"endTime":680.17,"body":"they tend to act in the world"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":675.49,"endTime":680.17,"body":"from that place without, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":680.17,"endTime":683.98,"body":"know, all the layers of shame"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":680.17,"endTime":683.98,"body":"and, you know, thinking things"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":683.98,"endTime":687.13,"body":"through and anticipatory anxiety"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":683.98,"endTime":687.13,"body":"being layered on top of how they"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":687.13,"endTime":689.86,"body":"respond to, they tend to just"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":687.13,"endTime":689.86,"body":"react, particularly the human"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":689.86,"endTime":694.18,"body":"littler ones, you know, and it"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":689.86,"endTime":694.18,"body":"makes sense, evolutionarily for"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":694.18,"endTime":696.79,"body":"our brains and our nervous"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":694.18,"endTime":696.79,"body":"systems to learn in an"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":696.79,"endTime":700.06,"body":"environment and kind of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":696.79,"endTime":700.06,"body":"entrained to it, you know, so"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":700.06,"endTime":704.02,"body":"that we respond fast to what our"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":700.06,"endTime":704.02,"body":"environments requiring of us,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":704.05,"endTime":706.4499999999999,"body":"which makes a lot of sense, if"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":704.05,"endTime":706.4499999999999,"body":"we think about times, where"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":706.4499999999999,"endTime":711.4,"body":"maybe we were, I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":706.4499999999999,"endTime":711.4,"body":"living with predators a lot"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":711.4,"endTime":715.93,"body":"closer nearby than, than we do"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":711.4,"endTime":715.93,"body":"now. And so, really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":715.93,"endTime":718.36,"body":"understanding for myself, what"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":715.93,"endTime":718.36,"body":"are the things that tend to make"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":718.36,"endTime":721.96,"body":"me angry? You know, and how can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":718.36,"endTime":721.96,"body":"how can I really explore those"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":721.96,"endTime":724.96,"body":"so that I don't feel so"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":721.96,"endTime":724.96,"body":"instinctually? Angry about them?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":724.96,"endTime":728.47,"body":"Or what are the things that tend"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":724.96,"endTime":728.47,"body":"to get me feeling hopeless or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":728.47,"endTime":732.16,"body":"Despairing or shame or whatever"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":728.47,"endTime":732.16,"body":"the reaction might be? You know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":732.16,"endTime":734.02,"body":"it's those negative feelings"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":732.16,"endTime":734.02,"body":"that tend to draw us to that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":734.02,"endTime":736.66,"body":"question in the first place, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":734.02,"endTime":736.66,"body":"think we don't tend to ask the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":736.66,"endTime":739.09,"body":"question, why does this make me"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":736.66,"endTime":739.09,"body":"so happy, we just tend to enjoy"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":739.09,"endTime":742.72,"body":"it, you know, but I am curious"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":739.09,"endTime":742.72,"body":"about particularly with coming"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":742.72,"endTime":747.91,"body":"into midlife and looking at my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":742.72,"endTime":747.91,"body":"own relationship to sleep, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":747.91,"endTime":750.88,"body":"how that's changing, or my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":747.91,"endTime":750.88,"body":"relationship to rest."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":751.63,"endTime":753.37,"body":"Say more"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":751.63,"endTime":753.37,"body":"about that your relationship to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":753.37,"endTime":755.3199999999999,"body":"rest, it just perked my ears up?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":755.65,"endTime":758.4399999999999,"body":"Well, there's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":755.65,"endTime":758.4399999999999,"body":"something about like, having a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":758.4399999999999,"endTime":761.86,"body":"successful business, doing all"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":758.4399999999999,"endTime":761.86,"body":"this work, particularly all"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":761.86,"endTime":764.0799999999999,"body":"those graduate work was in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":761.86,"endTime":764.0799999999999,"body":"school for like 12 years, just"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":764.0799999999999,"endTime":767.41,"body":"something wild, you know, to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":764.0799999999999,"endTime":767.41,"body":"kind of get all that done, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":767.41,"endTime":769.84,"body":"then creating a business and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":767.41,"endTime":769.84,"body":"then doing all the steps from"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":769.84,"endTime":772.48,"body":"like, Okay, I've launched and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":769.84,"endTime":772.48,"body":"now there's this other"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":772.48,"endTime":777.52,"body":"successful practice like this is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":772.48,"endTime":777.52,"body":"great. And then realizing that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":777.9399999999999,"endTime":781.84,"body":"part of maintaining a successful"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":777.9399999999999,"endTime":781.84,"body":"practice is being able to ON OFF"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":781.84,"endTime":786.04,"body":"time really take excellent care"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":781.84,"endTime":786.04,"body":"of myself. And what's so easy to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":786.04,"endTime":788.65,"body":"do, particularly, I think, in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":786.04,"endTime":788.65,"body":"the US, maybe particularly in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":788.65,"endTime":792.1899999999999,"body":"the Bay Area, too, there's a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":788.65,"endTime":792.1899999999999,"body":"kind of pace, so go, go go pace,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":793.24,"endTime":797.11,"body":"it's really easy to kind of fill"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":793.24,"endTime":797.11,"body":"up that free time, with not only"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":797.11,"endTime":801.9399999999999,"body":"things to improve myself, or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":797.11,"endTime":801.9399999999999,"body":"improve my business, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":801.97,"endTime":807.01,"body":"or to maximise on the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":801.97,"endTime":807.01,"body":"potentiality of life, I think"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":807.01,"endTime":810.88,"body":"there's a way where we've become"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":807.01,"endTime":810.88,"body":"almost like addicted to this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":811.54,"endTime":814.87,"body":"living life to its absolute most"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":811.54,"endTime":814.87,"body":"potential, which can create a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":814.87,"endTime":818.17,"body":"lot of pressure, actually, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":814.87,"endTime":818.17,"body":"know, we don't tend to consider"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":818.17,"endTime":821.89,"body":"deep rest, as a critical part of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":818.17,"endTime":821.89,"body":"life."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":823.36,"endTime":825.04,"body":"They also"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":823.36,"endTime":825.04,"body":"think there's this piece around"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":825.04,"endTime":827.8,"body":"rest that I to experience as a"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":825.04,"endTime":827.8,"body":"business owner, where I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":828.8199999999999,"endTime":833.5,"body":"if I want to really evolve my"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":828.8199999999999,"endTime":833.5,"body":"work in the world, however, I"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":833.5,"endTime":836.92,"body":"define that rest is part of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":833.5,"endTime":836.92,"body":"that, too, because there are"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":836.92,"endTime":840.9399999999999,"body":"questions I only asked myself,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":836.92,"endTime":840.9399999999999,"body":"or experiences of myself, or my"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":840.9399999999999,"endTime":843.5799999999999,"body":"psyche that I only have when"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":840.9399999999999,"endTime":843.5799999999999,"body":"there's a lot of space."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":844.06,"endTime":846.31,"body":"Exactly,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":844.06,"endTime":846.31,"body":"absolutely, we can get creative"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":846.31,"endTime":849.16,"body":"when we're under pressure,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":846.31,"endTime":849.16,"body":"thankfully, you know, that's in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":849.16,"endTime":854.41,"body":"there too. Yet, what we can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":849.16,"endTime":854.41,"body":"actually really design for"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":854.41,"endTime":857.74,"body":"ourselves, for our lives, the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":854.41,"endTime":857.74,"body":"kind of conversations we can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":857.74,"endTime":860.89,"body":"have with, say, with the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":857.74,"endTime":860.89,"body":"universe with kind of everything"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":860.89,"endTime":864.73,"body":"within it totally changes when"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":860.89,"endTime":864.73,"body":"we don't have that do do"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":865.03,"endTime":868.18,"body":"pressure, which does have an"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":865.03,"endTime":868.18,"body":"effect on the nervous system."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":868.72,"endTime":872.17,"body":"You know, we know that that can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":868.72,"endTime":872.17,"body":"result in adrenal fatigue, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":872.17,"endTime":875.98,"body":"know, or it can result in these"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":872.17,"endTime":875.98,"body":"kind of chronic health"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":875.98,"endTime":880.21,"body":"conditions, you know, which tend"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":875.98,"endTime":880.21,"body":"to then bring to our bodies, we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":880.21,"endTime":883.12,"body":"started by talking about body"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":880.21,"endTime":883.12,"body":"awareness. And it's by having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":883.12,"endTime":885.55,"body":"that body awareness that I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":883.12,"endTime":885.55,"body":"started to be able to realize,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":885.55,"endTime":889.06,"body":"oh, gosh, okay, my body is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":885.55,"endTime":889.06,"body":"actually going to stop me if I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":889.06,"endTime":892.18,"body":"don't stop myself, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":889.06,"endTime":892.18,"body":"whether it's migraine difficulty"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":892.18,"endTime":895.4499999999999,"body":"sleeping, you know, some other"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":892.18,"endTime":895.4499999999999,"body":"symptoms that I've had, like, go"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":895.4499999999999,"endTime":899.56,"body":"into or not, you know, either"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":895.4499999999999,"endTime":899.56,"body":"way, but it's through these,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":899.59,"endTime":903.37,"body":"what I would call even dramatic"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":899.59,"endTime":903.37,"body":"experiences of turning off or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":903.37,"endTime":908.1999999999999,"body":"trying to provide the space to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":903.37,"endTime":908.1999999999999,"body":"do to do the turning off that do"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":908.1999999999999,"endTime":913.12,"body":"do that this whole other arena"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":908.1999999999999,"endTime":913.12,"body":"opens up. And dream work is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":913.12,"endTime":914.74,"body":"something we've talked a little"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":913.12,"endTime":914.74,"body":"bit about before."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":914.89,"endTime":916.6,"body":"Yeah, I want"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":914.89,"endTime":916.6,"body":"to get into this a little bit,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":916.6,"endTime":918.76,"body":"cuz I think you're starting to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":916.6,"endTime":918.76,"body":"tease something out, which is"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":918.76,"endTime":921.97,"body":"that there's sort of two and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":918.76,"endTime":921.97,"body":"there's many more, but there's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":921.97,"endTime":925.0,"body":"two very clear ways into sort of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":921.97,"endTime":925.0,"body":"self awareness or becoming aware"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":925.0,"endTime":927.55,"body":"of ourselves. And I think of one"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":925.0,"endTime":927.55,"body":"as being like a very cognitive"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":927.55,"endTime":931.24,"body":"conscious process. Right. So"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":927.55,"endTime":931.24,"body":"okay, I know rage is a great"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":931.24,"endTime":935.59,"body":"example. Even before I know I'm"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":931.24,"endTime":935.59,"body":"feeling rage, if I can really"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":935.59,"endTime":938.65,"body":"slow things down, I know that my"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":935.59,"endTime":938.65,"body":"body is already responding"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":938.65,"endTime":941.62,"body":"before I have the cognitive"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":938.65,"endTime":941.62,"body":"thought of I'm really mad,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":941.65,"endTime":945.4,"body":"right? And so there's that level"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":941.65,"endTime":945.4,"body":"of self awareness that feels"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":945.43,"endTime":947.89,"body":"very like in the waking moment,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":945.43,"endTime":947.89,"body":"right where I'm like, Okay, I'm"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":947.89,"endTime":951.16,"body":"going to slow down. I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":947.89,"endTime":951.16,"body":"track how I'm feeling My body's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":951.16,"endTime":954.4,"body":"tensing up up, I'm feeling rage,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":951.16,"endTime":954.4,"body":"okay, I can like name an"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":954.4,"endTime":957.37,"body":"emotion, right? What we might"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":954.4,"endTime":957.37,"body":"call a kind of straightforward"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":957.85,"endTime":960.85,"body":"sort of form of emotional self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":957.85,"endTime":960.85,"body":"awareness. But then there's this"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":960.85,"endTime":963.22,"body":"whole other realm of the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":960.85,"endTime":963.22,"body":"subconscious that you're talking"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":963.22,"endTime":967.06,"body":"about when you're talking about"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":963.22,"endTime":967.06,"body":"dreams. And I just want to have"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":967.06,"endTime":970.75,"body":"you share with our listeners a"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":967.06,"endTime":970.75,"body":"little bit about of what is your"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":970.75,"endTime":974.11,"body":"relationship to dream work? What"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":970.75,"endTime":974.11,"body":"is your practice around? Dreams?"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":974.11,"endTime":978.31,"body":"How do you use dreams, as a tool"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":974.11,"endTime":978.31,"body":"for better understanding"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":978.31,"endTime":980.59,"body":"yourself and where you're at at"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":978.31,"endTime":980.59,"body":"any given moment?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":981.22,"endTime":983.41,"body":"There are so"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":981.22,"endTime":983.41,"body":"many traditions of of dream"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":983.41,"endTime":985.39,"body":"work, you know, I think the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":983.41,"endTime":985.39,"body":"aborigines of Australia have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":985.39,"endTime":988.9,"body":"probably developed dream"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":985.39,"endTime":988.9,"body":"practice better than any of us"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":988.9,"endTime":992.53,"body":"have. So mine's really coming"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":988.9,"endTime":992.53,"body":"from a Western lens here, United"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":992.53,"endTime":996.22,"body":"States and lens and a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":992.53,"endTime":996.22,"body":"psychological lens because I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":996.22,"endTime":1000.24,"body":"can't tease that out for myself."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":996.22,"endTime":1000.24,"body":"But for me, when I think about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1000.24,"endTime":1004.05,"body":"dream work, it's really about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1000.24,"endTime":1004.05,"body":"intentionality. Like every"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1004.05,"endTime":1009.9,"body":"single time I fall asleep, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1004.05,"endTime":1009.9,"body":"have an opportunity to have a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1009.9,"endTime":1013.38,"body":"conversation with my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1009.9,"endTime":1013.38,"body":"unconscious. Thanks to Sara"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1013.38,"endTime":1016.98,"body":"McLean Bicknell, who's my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1013.38,"endTime":1016.98,"body":"current dream teacher, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1017.1899999999999,"endTime":1019.47,"body":"someone who's helped me bring"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1017.1899999999999,"endTime":1019.47,"body":"more intentionality into my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1019.47,"endTime":1025.68,"body":"practice. Because of her I have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1019.47,"endTime":1025.68,"body":"started using my before bed time"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1025.92,"endTime":1030.18,"body":"to bring in more questions where"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1025.92,"endTime":1030.18,"body":"I will actually sometimes"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1030.18,"endTime":1034.2,"body":"incubate a question before,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1030.18,"endTime":1034.2,"body":"before bed, do like a short"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1034.2,"endTime":1038.04,"body":"meditation, kind of, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1034.2,"endTime":1038.04,"body":"centering myself around this is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1038.04,"endTime":1041.88,"body":"my intention going in, it gives"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1038.04,"endTime":1041.88,"body":"me a lens, then in the morning"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1041.88,"endTime":1045.9,"body":"with which to look at the dream,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1041.88,"endTime":1045.9,"body":"or dreams, like a show me more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1046.5900000000001,"endTime":1049.8600000000001,"body":"about this item, and then having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1046.5900000000001,"endTime":1049.8600000000001,"body":"the dreams and then being really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1049.8600000000001,"endTime":1054.69,"body":"committed. Also wake up at 2am."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1049.8600000000001,"endTime":1054.69,"body":"Okay, gotta write it down, or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1054.69,"endTime":1055.71,"body":"record it in some way."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1056.01,"endTime":1058.98,"body":"Can you give"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1056.01,"endTime":1058.98,"body":"us an example of a question, or"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1058.98,"endTime":1062.67,"body":"an intention you might hold?"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1058.98,"endTime":1062.67,"body":"Going into the dream space?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1062.82,"endTime":1066.0900000000001,"body":"Yeah, recently,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1062.82,"endTime":1066.0900000000001,"body":"I incubated a question. That"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1066.0900000000001,"endTime":1070.02,"body":"was, that was something like,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1066.0900000000001,"endTime":1070.02,"body":"show me what I need to know"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1070.05,"endTime":1074.94,"body":"about my unique expression of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1070.05,"endTime":1074.94,"body":"leadership in this lifetime?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1075.3,"endTime":1078.81,"body":"That's a biggie. You know, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1075.3,"endTime":1078.81,"body":"don't know if that in this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1078.81,"endTime":1084.03,"body":"lifetime was actually useful or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1078.81,"endTime":1084.03,"body":"not. But that's, you know, Dream"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1084.03,"endTime":1086.85,"body":"questions, can you work in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1084.03,"endTime":1086.85,"body":"progress too. And so I did my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1086.85,"endTime":1090.42,"body":"little different things that I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1086.85,"endTime":1090.42,"body":"that I do before incubating."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1091.2,"endTime":1094.71,"body":"Sometimes having a particular"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1091.2,"endTime":1094.71,"body":"stone that I just really love, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1094.71,"endTime":1097.65,"body":"call it my dream stone, putting"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1094.71,"endTime":1097.65,"body":"that beside my bed, and then"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1097.65,"endTime":1101.6399999999999,"body":"having the notebook ready. And"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1097.65,"endTime":1101.6399999999999,"body":"that particular night, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1101.6399999999999,"endTime":1108.42,"body":"remember waking up to pee at"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1101.6399999999999,"endTime":1108.42,"body":"3am. And going, Okay, I have I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1108.42,"endTime":1111.24,"body":"have these dreams, you know, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1108.42,"endTime":1111.24,"body":"so kind of finagling with the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1111.24,"endTime":1115.41,"body":"light to be able to scribble as,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1111.24,"endTime":1115.41,"body":"as I can at 3am handwriting"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1115.41,"endTime":1119.22,"body":"getting everything down that I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1115.41,"endTime":1119.22,"body":"can remember, and then starting"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1119.22,"endTime":1121.65,"body":"to fall asleep and remembering"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1119.22,"endTime":1121.65,"body":"another piece and having to get"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1121.65,"endTime":1123.87,"body":"up to write that piece down"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1121.65,"endTime":1123.87,"body":"again. So that's the discipline"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1123.87,"endTime":1125.79,"body":"part of it really being"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1123.87,"endTime":1125.79,"body":"committed to writing down"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1125.79,"endTime":1128.8799999999999,"body":"everything you can remember. And"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1125.79,"endTime":1128.8799999999999,"body":"the next morning having another"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1128.91,"endTime":1134.52,"body":"dream fragment that I added to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1128.91,"endTime":1134.52,"body":"it. And then as for analysis,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1135.06,"endTime":1136.8899999999999,"body":"going back to what I mentioned,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1135.06,"endTime":1136.8899999999999,"body":"about there being so many"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1136.8899999999999,"endTime":1141.66,"body":"different approaches to dream"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1136.8899999999999,"endTime":1141.66,"body":"work, you know, I have, I have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1141.99,"endTime":1145.77,"body":"studied in practice, the more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1141.99,"endTime":1145.77,"body":"analytic approach to dreams."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1147.0,"endTime":1150.75,"body":"Work with Jeremy Taylor, who I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1147.0,"endTime":1150.75,"body":"just love that really, practices"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1150.75,"endTime":1154.71,"body":"like viewing the dream on all"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1150.75,"endTime":1154.71,"body":"parts of the dream as parts of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1154.71,"endTime":1158.7,"body":"our very own selves. And I've"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1154.71,"endTime":1158.7,"body":"let all that get a little bit"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1158.7,"endTime":1162.6299999999999,"body":"looser, in my practice. Now, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1158.7,"endTime":1162.6299999999999,"body":"know, given the guide of the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1162.6299999999999,"endTime":1165.6,"body":"teacher who I'm working with,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1162.6299999999999,"endTime":1165.6,"body":"and we tend to look at dreams in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1165.6,"endTime":1171.03,"body":"a more, I guess, in a more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1165.6,"endTime":1171.03,"body":"holistic or even more, she might"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1171.03,"endTime":1173.79,"body":"say, more like an indigenous"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1171.03,"endTime":1173.79,"body":"perspective of really trying to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1174.78,"endTime":1178.53,"body":"pay close attention to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1174.78,"endTime":1178.53,"body":"environment, plants and animals,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1178.74,"endTime":1181.77,"body":"any medicine that might be in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1178.74,"endTime":1181.77,"body":"the dream. And I'll put medicine"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1181.77,"endTime":1184.32,"body":"with like air quotes around it,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1181.77,"endTime":1184.32,"body":"things that might actually be"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1184.32,"endTime":1188.25,"body":"kind of antidotes for what we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1184.32,"endTime":1188.25,"body":"tend to suffer with, in our"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1188.25,"endTime":1194.1299999999999,"body":"conscious waking life. So, so"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1188.25,"endTime":1194.1299999999999,"body":"yeah, I mean, from for example,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1194.1299999999999,"endTime":1197.73,"body":"from the stream, I got to work"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1194.1299999999999,"endTime":1197.73,"body":"it in a group, you know, which"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1197.76,"endTime":1201.54,"body":"also feels like such a gift"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1197.76,"endTime":1201.54,"body":"every time a group is available"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1201.6299999999999,"endTime":1204.06,"body":"to do that for me, because the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1201.6299999999999,"endTime":1204.06,"body":"reflections I get back from"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1204.06,"endTime":1208.08,"body":"other people when they were my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1204.06,"endTime":1208.08,"body":"dream, and look at it through"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1208.08,"endTime":1211.68,"body":"the lens of my questions is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1208.08,"endTime":1211.68,"body":"always different than what I can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1211.68,"endTime":1215.1299999999999,"body":"see myself, I find that for me,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1211.68,"endTime":1215.1299999999999,"body":"it's essential to have other"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1215.22,"endTime":1218.76,"body":"other people, other beings in my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1215.22,"endTime":1218.76,"body":"world to really understand"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1218.76,"endTime":1223.29,"body":"myself. It just adds all the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1218.76,"endTime":1223.29,"body":"color it says if I my own self"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1223.29,"endTime":1227.16,"body":"analysis of my dreams, creates a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1223.29,"endTime":1227.16,"body":"black and white image and having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1227.16,"endTime":1230.43,"body":"other people wear my dream, put"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1227.16,"endTime":1230.43,"body":"all the color in."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1230.94,"endTime":1232.71,"body":"This brings"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1230.94,"endTime":1232.71,"body":"me to something so important."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1232.71,"endTime":1235.47,"body":"And I think, you know, there's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1232.71,"endTime":1235.47,"body":"many ways we can talk about"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1235.47,"endTime":1238.86,"body":"this. So if we're thinking about"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1235.47,"endTime":1238.86,"body":"building self awareness of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1238.8899999999999,"endTime":1241.68,"body":"ourselves as leaders in a very"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1238.8899999999999,"endTime":1241.68,"body":"corporate environment, right, we"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1241.68,"endTime":1245.07,"body":"might talk about a 360"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1241.68,"endTime":1245.07,"body":"evaluation. Same thing, we step"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1245.07,"endTime":1248.43,"body":"into our community and we say"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1245.07,"endTime":1248.43,"body":"please help me understand"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1248.43,"endTime":1250.68,"body":"myself. Right. And I hear you"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1248.43,"endTime":1250.68,"body":"saying In this with the dream"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1250.68,"endTime":1253.2,"body":"work to, it's not even that"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1250.68,"endTime":1253.2,"body":"you're looking at these dreams"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1253.2,"endTime":1255.72,"body":"in isolation, you're inviting"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1253.2,"endTime":1255.72,"body":"other people into the process"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1255.72,"endTime":1258.54,"body":"with you. And so I'm actually"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1255.72,"endTime":1258.54,"body":"wonder if you could speak a"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1258.54,"endTime":1263.7,"body":"little bit to that role of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1258.54,"endTime":1263.7,"body":"community or of other in helping"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1263.7,"endTime":1268.1399999999999,"body":"us build self awareness, knowing"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1263.7,"endTime":1268.1399999999999,"body":"that the very term self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1268.1399999999999,"endTime":1271.11,"body":"awareness, I think reinforces"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1268.1399999999999,"endTime":1271.11,"body":"our kind of sense of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1271.11,"endTime":1274.56,"body":"individuality, right, there's an"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1271.11,"endTime":1274.56,"body":"inclination to think like, this"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1274.56,"endTime":1277.3799999999999,"body":"is me looking at myself, and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1274.56,"endTime":1277.3799999999999,"body":"this is something that kind of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1277.3799999999999,"endTime":1282.03,"body":"happens in isolation. And yet,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1277.3799999999999,"endTime":1282.03,"body":"we know that some of the most"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1282.06,"endTime":1285.03,"body":"effective ways of building self"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1282.06,"endTime":1285.03,"body":"awareness are not in isolation"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1285.03,"endTime":1285.45,"body":"at all."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1286.139,"endTime":1289.229,"body":"Absolutely,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1286.139,"endTime":1289.229,"body":"that's through my participation"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1289.589,"endTime":1293.639,"body":"in a role and community that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1289.589,"endTime":1293.639,"body":"I've really learned about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1293.639,"endTime":1297.629,"body":"myself. And I've been able to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1293.639,"endTime":1297.629,"body":"receive those reflections and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1297.629,"endTime":1300.149,"body":"the honor really, from other"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1297.629,"endTime":1300.149,"body":"people kind of honoring me up"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1300.149,"endTime":1303.779,"body":"for what I, how I have served"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1300.149,"endTime":1303.779,"body":"the community and vice versa,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1304.109,"endTime":1310.379,"body":"I've really been able to see"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1304.109,"endTime":1310.379,"body":"myself as an important part of a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1310.379,"endTime":1316.319,"body":"beautiful hole. So it does"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1310.379,"endTime":1316.319,"body":"reinforce my value, like my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1316.319,"endTime":1319.619,"body":"value of myself, my value of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1316.319,"endTime":1319.619,"body":"this life, my life, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1319.619,"endTime":1324.959,"body":"the kind of preciousness of that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1319.619,"endTime":1324.959,"body":"life, and also how it's like the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1324.959,"endTime":1328.559,"body":"big Crayola box for something"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1324.959,"endTime":1328.559,"body":"that's really joyous about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1328.559,"endTime":1331.589,"body":"having this, this beautiful"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1328.559,"endTime":1331.589,"body":"interconnectivity of all of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1331.589,"endTime":1334.529,"body":"these different roles. Not that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1331.589,"endTime":1334.529,"body":"it's not without its drama, too,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1334.529,"endTime":1337.739,"body":"of course, at times, too, which"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1334.529,"endTime":1337.739,"body":"is another way when we're"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1337.739,"endTime":1340.049,"body":"supported in community that way"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1337.739,"endTime":1340.049,"body":"that we get to learn about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1340.049,"endTime":1343.559,"body":"ourselves, you know, of having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1340.049,"endTime":1343.559,"body":"rupturing and repair with"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1343.559,"endTime":1345.479,"body":"another person. I'm wondering"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1345.479,"endTime":1348.389,"body":"if you have"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1345.479,"endTime":1348.389,"body":"an example of that of something"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1348.389,"endTime":1352.9189999999999,"body":"that you have learned about"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1348.389,"endTime":1352.9189999999999,"body":"yourself through sort of showing"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1352.9189999999999,"endTime":1357.329,"body":"up in the context of group work"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1352.9189999999999,"endTime":1357.329,"body":"supporting another person,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1357.93,"endTime":1360.06,"body":"I think about a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1357.93,"endTime":1360.06,"body":"community that I'm a part of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1360.06,"endTime":1363.36,"body":"now, where it's a learning"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1360.06,"endTime":1363.36,"body":"environment, but we're also"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1363.3899999999999,"endTime":1367.53,"body":"practicing together as a way to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1363.3899999999999,"endTime":1367.53,"body":"learn. And, you know, you join a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1367.53,"endTime":1371.01,"body":"group, and pretty quickly, this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1367.53,"endTime":1371.01,"body":"is true for me, I think, true"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1371.01,"endTime":1373.32,"body":"for many of us that pretty"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1371.01,"endTime":1373.32,"body":"quickly, we go, Oh, I like you,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1373.32,"endTime":1377.1299999999999,"body":"you and you, I do not like you,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1373.32,"endTime":1377.1299999999999,"body":"you know, and I, you really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1377.1299999999999,"endTime":1381.57,"body":"annoy me, and it's like everyone"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1377.1299999999999,"endTime":1381.57,"body":"gets within the first hour, we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1381.57,"endTime":1385.44,"body":"decide who everyone is. And most"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1381.57,"endTime":1385.44,"body":"of the time, the story is more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1385.44,"endTime":1388.95,"body":"complex than that. And when we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1385.44,"endTime":1388.95,"body":"have sudden community, that's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1388.95,"endTime":1391.71,"body":"usually where we all start. And"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1388.95,"endTime":1391.71,"body":"when we have opportunities to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1391.71,"endTime":1395.94,"body":"really show up for another, then"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1391.71,"endTime":1395.94,"body":"we get to have more of that full"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1396.24,"endTime":1400.11,"body":"experience, and really a more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1396.24,"endTime":1400.11,"body":"full bodied experience. So in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1400.11,"endTime":1402.48,"body":"this learning community that I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1400.11,"endTime":1402.48,"body":"talking about, I kind of decided"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1402.48,"endTime":1405.6299999999999,"body":"I don't really like this person,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1402.48,"endTime":1405.6299999999999,"body":"for all sorts of reasons, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1405.6299999999999,"endTime":1408.78,"body":"know, they're, everything seems"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1405.6299999999999,"endTime":1408.78,"body":"to be about them. And they kind"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1408.78,"endTime":1412.29,"body":"of hug them like, and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1408.78,"endTime":1412.29,"body":"I've had kind of enough I want,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1412.32,"endTime":1415.59,"body":"I want them to be more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1412.32,"endTime":1415.59,"body":"contained, you know, and it's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1415.59,"endTime":1419.22,"body":"through really sitting next to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1415.59,"endTime":1419.22,"body":"them. Because that was the chair"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1419.22,"endTime":1424.26,"body":"that was available during a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1419.22,"endTime":1424.26,"body":"particularly activating piece of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1424.26,"endTime":1427.26,"body":"the work for them activating for"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1424.26,"endTime":1427.26,"body":"them, I think, emotional for all"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1427.26,"endTime":1430.29,"body":"of us, but especially activating"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1427.26,"endTime":1430.29,"body":"for them that I realized, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1430.29,"endTime":1435.03,"body":"they're really suffering here."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1430.29,"endTime":1435.03,"body":"You know, I got to see more of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1435.03,"endTime":1440.22,"body":"the complex trauma that they"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1435.03,"endTime":1440.22,"body":"were coming with. And I've had"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1440.22,"endTime":1443.79,"body":"such incredible privilege, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1440.22,"endTime":1443.79,"body":"know, and such incredible"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1443.79,"endTime":1447.81,"body":"opportunity to do a lot of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1443.79,"endTime":1447.81,"body":"healing, not like I'm done. But"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1448.02,"endTime":1450.87,"body":"I'm aware that not all of us"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1448.02,"endTime":1450.87,"body":"who've had access, and the way"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1450.87,"endTime":1454.56,"body":"that I have, and with me being"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1450.87,"endTime":1454.56,"body":"next to them once they softened,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1454.56,"endTime":1458.28,"body":"and I got to see more of what"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1454.56,"endTime":1458.28,"body":"what their suffering was about."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1458.76,"endTime":1463.98,"body":"I was just incredibly moved to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1458.76,"endTime":1463.98,"body":"be support. And so here, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1463.98,"endTime":1467.6399999999999,"body":"perhaps ironically, ended up"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1463.98,"endTime":1467.6399999999999,"body":"being the one who was quite"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1467.6399999999999,"endTime":1471.96,"body":"literally even holding a peer of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1467.6399999999999,"endTime":1471.96,"body":"mine, who was going through big"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1471.96,"endTime":1475.47,"body":"suffering, that I was able to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1471.96,"endTime":1475.47,"body":"see in the moment. Oh, right."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1475.5,"endTime":1479.73,"body":"This was not her fault. This is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1475.5,"endTime":1479.73,"body":"something that she has carried."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1480.9,"endTime":1484.95,"body":"You know, and the motivation to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1480.9,"endTime":1484.95,"body":"kind of show to show up was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1484.95,"endTime":1488.1299999999999,"body":"just, I don't know, if I should"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1484.95,"endTime":1488.1299999999999,"body":"even call it motivation. It was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1488.1299999999999,"endTime":1491.28,"body":"just instantaneous. There was an"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1488.1299999999999,"endTime":1491.28,"body":"empathic resonance, and I was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1491.28,"endTime":1493.68,"body":"the one there and it's like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1491.28,"endTime":1493.68,"body":"come here. Right. And I could"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1493.68,"endTime":1495.57,"body":"offer that support. Yeah. What"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1493.68,"endTime":1495.57,"body":"does"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1495.569,"endTime":1496.799,"body":"that teach"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1495.569,"endTime":1496.799,"body":"you about yourself?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1496.829,"endTime":1499.649,"body":"I mean, there's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1496.829,"endTime":1499.649,"body":"the there's the immediate part,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1499.649,"endTime":1502.649,"body":"which is, hey, don't be so quick"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1499.649,"endTime":1502.649,"body":"to judge which, of course, our"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1502.709,"endTime":1504.029,"body":"cognitive mind is gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.029,"endTime":1508.019,"body":"do that. You're like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1504.029,"endTime":1508.019,"body":"gosh, you judge II know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1508.019,"endTime":1511.319,"body":"whatever, you know, I'll judge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1508.019,"endTime":1511.319,"body":"myself for being so judgy."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1511.349,"endTime":1514.139,"body":"Right, exactly."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1511.349,"endTime":1514.139,"body":"The double judge that's there."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1514.4089999999999,"endTime":1517.199,"body":"So there's some of that, of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1514.4089999999999,"endTime":1517.199,"body":"course, and you know, I don't"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1517.199,"endTime":1520.019,"body":"know that we can ever slow down"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1517.199,"endTime":1520.019,"body":"our judgments. I think it'll"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1520.019,"endTime":1522.719,"body":"probably still be there"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1520.019,"endTime":1522.719,"body":"automatic, but maybe don't catch"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1522.719,"endTime":1526.529,"body":"it. Don't let it get rigid, not"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1522.719,"endTime":1526.529,"body":"let it decide who people are. So"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1526.529,"endTime":1530.699,"body":"there's, there's that piece of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1526.529,"endTime":1530.699,"body":"it. But there's also something"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1530.729,"endTime":1535.1689999999999,"body":"that's really beautiful for me"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1530.729,"endTime":1535.1689999999999,"body":"in being able to see."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1535.739,"endTime":1539.219,"body":"Thankfully, too. It's kind of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1535.739,"endTime":1539.219,"body":"reassuring to be able to see"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1539.219,"endTime":1544.079,"body":"that the judge can fall away"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1539.219,"endTime":1544.079,"body":"that there is a deeply loving,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1544.109,"endTime":1546.6589999999999,"body":"there's a part of me that will"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1544.109,"endTime":1546.6589999999999,"body":"is so committed to just showing"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1546.6589999999999,"endTime":1550.379,"body":"up. And it's such a strong value"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1546.6589999999999,"endTime":1550.379,"body":"of mine. I'll talk But it was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1550.379,"endTime":1553.949,"body":"people like we get lost in our"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1550.379,"endTime":1553.949,"body":"own despair. You know, it's not"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1554.309,"endTime":1556.9189999999999,"body":"effective for the future of this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1554.309,"endTime":1556.9189999999999,"body":"world, we need to really be able"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1556.979,"endTime":1560.759,"body":"and are willing to show up to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1556.979,"endTime":1560.759,"body":"make any sort of change. And so"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1560.819,"endTime":1565.559,"body":"I'm so grateful that in that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1560.819,"endTime":1565.559,"body":"moment, you know, I wasn't held"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1565.559,"endTime":1569.339,"body":"back by that judgment, and that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1565.559,"endTime":1569.339,"body":"I could, I guess, honor myself,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1569.369,"endTime":1571.859,"body":"and certainly, I mean, she"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1569.369,"endTime":1571.859,"body":"expressed tons of gratitude to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1571.859,"endTime":1574.589,"body":"me later. And all of this as"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1571.859,"endTime":1574.589,"body":"well, you know, about being"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1574.589,"endTime":1578.249,"body":"really able to show up as the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1574.589,"endTime":1578.249,"body":"frame that we held after that is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1578.249,"endTime":1581.759,"body":"kind of like big sister. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1578.249,"endTime":1581.759,"body":"the youngest in my family. So I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1581.759,"endTime":1585.599,"body":"have not had the opportunity to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1581.759,"endTime":1585.599,"body":"be a big sister to many, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1585.599,"endTime":1588.329,"body":"maybe a few friends or siblings"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1585.599,"endTime":1588.329,"body":"or friends and things like that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1588.329,"endTime":1592.259,"body":"along the way. And so this was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1588.329,"endTime":1592.259,"body":"just such an instantaneous poll"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1592.619,"endTime":1596.309,"body":"that I'm like, Okay, I could"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1592.619,"endTime":1596.309,"body":"even as Big Sister, I can have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1596.309,"endTime":1599.6689999999999,"body":"my judgment sometimes. Right"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1596.309,"endTime":1599.6689999999999,"body":"like that. Also, there's room"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1599.6689999999999,"endTime":1602.609,"body":"for that. But when it comes down"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1599.6689999999999,"endTime":1602.609,"body":"to it, I'm going to show up, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1602.609,"endTime":1603.809,"body":"I'm going to be there."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1604.139,"endTime":1605.6689999999999,"body":"Yeah, I think"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1604.139,"endTime":1605.6689999999999,"body":"you're also speaking a little"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1605.6689999999999,"endTime":1611.279,"body":"bit about becoming aware, too,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1605.6689999999999,"endTime":1611.279,"body":"of how our intentions affect"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1611.309,"endTime":1613.769,"body":"what part of ourselves we're"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1611.309,"endTime":1613.769,"body":"able to sort of live into,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1613.769,"endTime":1616.139,"body":"right. And I think that example"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1613.769,"endTime":1616.139,"body":"of stepping into a new group is"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1616.139,"endTime":1618.569,"body":"amazing, right? Because there's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1616.139,"endTime":1618.569,"body":"a part of us that's like, Who"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1618.569,"endTime":1622.049,"body":"here is safe? Who here is not? I"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1618.569,"endTime":1622.049,"body":"like I'm in a new environment,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1622.049,"endTime":1624.239,"body":"everything's overwhelming. I"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1622.049,"endTime":1624.239,"body":"need to categorize people"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1624.239,"endTime":1627.4189999999999,"body":"instantaneously. So I can like"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1624.239,"endTime":1627.4189999999999,"body":"make sense of my surroundings,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1627.4189999999999,"endTime":1632.579,"body":"right? And yet, the question"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1627.4189999999999,"endTime":1632.579,"body":"that you arrive at, in this"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1632.579,"endTime":1635.249,"body":"group experience with this"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1632.579,"endTime":1635.249,"body":"person is how can I be of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1635.249,"endTime":1638.699,"body":"support? This brings me to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1635.249,"endTime":1638.699,"body":"actually a question about one"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1638.699,"endTime":1644.309,"body":"thing I found really helpful in"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1638.699,"endTime":1644.309,"body":"my own self awareness practice"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1644.309,"endTime":1648.119,"body":"is a little bit of parts work,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1644.309,"endTime":1648.119,"body":"which goes by many different"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1648.119,"endTime":1653.639,"body":"names, but being able to observe"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1648.119,"endTime":1653.639,"body":"myself and different aspects of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1653.639,"endTime":1657.329,"body":"myself and being able to give"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1653.639,"endTime":1657.329,"body":"them names and, and think about,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1657.329,"endTime":1660.539,"body":"you know, okay, I have the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1657.329,"endTime":1660.539,"body":"judge, okay, I have the person"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1660.539,"endTime":1664.109,"body":"who has a lot of rage, oh, she's"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1660.539,"endTime":1664.109,"body":"angry. Okay, I have this really"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1664.109,"endTime":1666.869,"body":"other like, really joyful side,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1664.109,"endTime":1666.869,"body":"oh, I have the inner child,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1666.869,"endTime":1669.809,"body":"right. However, we want to name"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1666.869,"endTime":1669.809,"body":"those parts and seeing them all"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1669.809,"endTime":1673.679,"body":"as being a piece of us. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1669.809,"endTime":1673.679,"body":"wondering if that has been"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1674.369,"endTime":1677.6689999999999,"body":"influential to your work at all,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1674.369,"endTime":1677.6689999999999,"body":"either for yourself or with"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1677.6689999999999,"endTime":1681.689,"body":"clients, and how that helps sort"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1677.6689999999999,"endTime":1681.689,"body":"of relieve the shame layer that"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1681.689,"endTime":1685.469,"body":"often follows becoming aware of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1681.689,"endTime":1685.469,"body":"ourselves and our emotions and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":1685.469,"endTime":1686.189,"body":"our behaviors?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1686.49,"endTime":1689.49,"body":"Oh, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1686.49,"endTime":1689.49,"body":"absolutely. Deke Schwartz and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1689.52,"endTime":1692.4,"body":"internal family systems has"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1689.52,"endTime":1692.4,"body":"really been the foundation of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1692.58,"endTime":1695.19,"body":"the parts work that that I've"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1692.58,"endTime":1695.19,"body":"learned yet, even like I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1695.31,"endTime":1698.79,"body":"mentioned, Jeremy Taylor early"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1695.31,"endTime":1698.79,"body":"and looking at dreams, through"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1699.03,"endTime":1701.04,"body":"each of the different elements"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1699.03,"endTime":1701.04,"body":"in the dream, including the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1701.04,"endTime":1704.6399999999999,"body":"house, including the clouds, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1701.04,"endTime":1704.6399999999999,"body":"know, as being parts of our very"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1704.6399999999999,"endTime":1709.26,"body":"own selves. And what I love"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1704.6399999999999,"endTime":1709.26,"body":"about ifs internal family"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1709.26,"endTime":1713.6399999999999,"body":"systems, is there's not just the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1709.26,"endTime":1713.6399999999999,"body":"focus on parts, but also this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1713.67,"endTime":1718.32,"body":"core focus on what we might call"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1713.67,"endTime":1718.32,"body":"capital S self. Right, I have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1718.32,"endTime":1720.75,"body":"this kind of central what I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1718.32,"endTime":1720.75,"body":"think of as like the hub of the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1720.75,"endTime":1724.59,"body":"wheel, all the parts is being"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1720.75,"endTime":1724.59,"body":"like spokes. But when I have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1724.86,"endTime":1728.01,"body":"orientation to that hub of the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1724.86,"endTime":1728.01,"body":"wheel, when I'm able to really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1728.01,"endTime":1731.85,"body":"kind of come back to center,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1728.01,"endTime":1731.85,"body":"come back to my back body really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1731.85,"endTime":1735.27,"body":"feel supported by the chair by"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1731.85,"endTime":1735.27,"body":"the world, you know that I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1735.27,"endTime":1738.36,"body":"able to take one of those deep"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1735.27,"endTime":1738.36,"body":"belly breaths and turn towards"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1738.36,"endTime":1741.0,"body":"whatever the feeling is that's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1738.36,"endTime":1741.0,"body":"coming up whatever part is, has"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1741.0,"endTime":1744.57,"body":"been activated, and respond to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1741.0,"endTime":1744.57,"body":"it so differently, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1744.57,"endTime":1747.69,"body":"because then I get to be able to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1744.57,"endTime":1747.69,"body":"ask the question of myself, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1747.69,"endTime":1750.51,"body":"this is true with with my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1747.69,"endTime":1750.51,"body":"clients to try to support them"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1750.54,"endTime":1753.99,"body":"in parts, because I find it"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1750.54,"endTime":1753.99,"body":"immensely useful, and helping us"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1753.99,"endTime":1758.01,"body":"to build self compassion."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1753.99,"endTime":1758.01,"body":"Because when we're able to kind"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1758.01,"endTime":1761.8799999999999,"body":"of sit in our back bodies, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1758.01,"endTime":1761.8799999999999,"body":"really kind of find our center"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1761.8799999999999,"endTime":1765.45,"body":"and not be so blended with a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1761.8799999999999,"endTime":1765.45,"body":"particular part that's up, then"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1765.45,"endTime":1768.03,"body":"we get to ask, what are you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1765.45,"endTime":1768.03,"body":"working so hard to do right now?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1769.2,"endTime":1771.84,"body":"judgey part, you know, to your"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1769.2,"endTime":1771.84,"body":"point from earlier, it's about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1771.84,"endTime":1775.02,"body":"safety. Well, if I can really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1771.84,"endTime":1775.02,"body":"understand when judgey part"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1775.08,"endTime":1780.03,"body":"steps up, that I'm feeling"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1775.08,"endTime":1780.03,"body":"scared, that I'm feeling unsafe,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1780.03,"endTime":1783.12,"body":"and I'm trying to identify, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1780.03,"endTime":1783.12,"body":"know, who are my allies in the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1783.12,"endTime":1787.86,"body":"room, then there's so much more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1783.12,"endTime":1787.86,"body":"room there for compassion and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1787.86,"endTime":1791.37,"body":"understanding of that judgy part"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1787.86,"endTime":1791.37,"body":"and I'm not necessarily ruled by"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1791.37,"endTime":1796.8899999999999,"body":"it. Right, I get to lead myself"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1791.37,"endTime":1796.8899999999999,"body":"through this new environment or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1796.8899999999999,"endTime":1800.1299999999999,"body":"this room of new people. And at"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1796.8899999999999,"endTime":1800.1299999999999,"body":"the same time, kind of like be"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1800.1299999999999,"endTime":1803.16,"body":"holding my judgy part, knowing"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1800.1299999999999,"endTime":1803.16,"body":"that it's a protector for one"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1803.16,"endTime":1806.52,"body":"that's actually really scared,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1803.16,"endTime":1806.52,"body":"which then may bring me into"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1806.52,"endTime":1810.21,"body":"relationship. Ideally,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1806.52,"endTime":1810.21,"body":"hopefully, with that little one"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1810.21,"endTime":1813.93,"body":"who's scared who's going, Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1810.21,"endTime":1813.93,"body":"was bullied as a kid. What are"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1813.93,"endTime":1818.94,"body":"people seeing in me? are they"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1813.93,"endTime":1818.94,"body":"judging me right now? Probably"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1818.94,"endTime":1822.36,"body":"because I'm judging them. It's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1818.94,"endTime":1822.36,"body":"one that's really terrified."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1823.05,"endTime":1826.47,"body":"that I get to be with my little"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1823.05,"endTime":1826.47,"body":"like, seven year old part while"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1826.47,"endTime":1831.27,"body":"also being my, my current self,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1826.47,"endTime":1831.27,"body":"and also be with this. This"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1831.27,"endTime":1834.12,"body":"bratty, perhaps adolescent part"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1831.27,"endTime":1834.12,"body":"of me that's this judgy one that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1834.12,"endTime":1837.51,"body":"has snarky, witty things to say"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1834.12,"endTime":1837.51,"body":"about everyone and everything."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1837.99,"endTime":1838.62,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.22,"endTime":1847.02,"body":"In Dan Harris's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.22,"endTime":1847.02,"body":"interview for our first act, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.05,"endTime":1851.34,"body":"shared a quote that said Self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1847.05,"endTime":1851.34,"body":"knowledge is always As bad news,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1851.549,"endTime":1855.599,"body":"I think for me,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1851.549,"endTime":1855.599,"body":"my path around self awareness"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1855.599,"endTime":1859.379,"body":"has always there's been"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1855.599,"endTime":1859.379,"body":"something kind of magical about"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1859.379,"endTime":1862.979,"body":"it. There's something that's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1859.379,"endTime":1862.979,"body":"gotten me excited inside, even"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1862.979,"endTime":1866.069,"body":"those big questions, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1862.979,"endTime":1866.069,"body":"like that first one of God"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1866.069,"endTime":1869.099,"body":"created everything, what, who or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1866.069,"endTime":1869.099,"body":"what created God, like there was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1869.099,"endTime":1871.199,"body":"something really terrifying in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1869.099,"endTime":1871.199,"body":"that, but there was something"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1871.199,"endTime":1874.859,"body":"that hooked me that was almost"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1871.199,"endTime":1874.859,"body":"like, seductive about that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1874.859,"endTime":1878.939,"body":"question. However, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1874.859,"endTime":1878.939,"body":"when I think about self"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1878.939,"endTime":1882.989,"body":"awareness of our, of my inner"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1878.939,"endTime":1882.989,"body":"judge, you know, or of the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1883.079,"endTime":1887.459,"body":"impact I've had on other people"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1883.079,"endTime":1887.459,"body":"at times when I've let my even"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1887.459,"endTime":1890.789,"body":"righteous rage, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1887.459,"endTime":1890.789,"body":"control my actions, and I can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1890.819,"endTime":1894.389,"body":"relate more to that question of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1890.819,"endTime":1894.389,"body":"it being bad news. One story"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1894.389,"endTime":1900.329,"body":"that comes to me as I reflect"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1894.389,"endTime":1900.329,"body":"upon this is how I remember I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1900.329,"endTime":1906.239,"body":"think it was 11. I remember"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1900.329,"endTime":1906.239,"body":"learning from a friend's mom,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1906.479,"endTime":1912.359,"body":"that in some places people eat"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1906.479,"endTime":1912.359,"body":"dog. And I grew up with dogs. My"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1912.359,"endTime":1916.049,"body":"first primary relationship was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1912.359,"endTime":1916.049,"body":"with a Giant Schnauzer, named"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1916.049,"endTime":1921.479,"body":"Butch. Like, dogs are my peeps,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1916.049,"endTime":1921.479,"body":"you know, as a kid, especially."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1921.509,"endTime":1926.069,"body":"And it's hugely attached to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1921.509,"endTime":1926.069,"body":"animals, and really found great"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1926.1589999999999,"endTime":1929.729,"body":"social safety with them as a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1926.1589999999999,"endTime":1929.729,"body":"youngster. And so I was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1929.729,"endTime":1933.449,"body":"appalled. When I learned this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1929.729,"endTime":1933.449,"body":"now, you know, cultural"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1933.449,"endTime":1935.849,"body":"relativity and stuff. I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1933.449,"endTime":1935.849,"body":"putting that aside for for a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1935.849,"endTime":1938.639,"body":"moment, because I was 11 at the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1935.849,"endTime":1938.639,"body":"time and didn't really get those"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1938.639,"endTime":1941.309,"body":"pieces. But I thought, wait a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1938.639,"endTime":1941.309,"body":"minute, people eat dogs. Oh, no,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1941.309,"endTime":1944.309,"body":"and then learn people eat horses"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1941.309,"endTime":1944.309,"body":"and I rode horses are like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1944.309,"endTime":1947.219,"body":"no, this is horrible. And then"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1944.309,"endTime":1947.219,"body":"I'm like, wait a minute, how is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1947.219,"endTime":1951.239,"body":"this different than cows? How is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1947.219,"endTime":1951.239,"body":"this different than pigs? You"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1951.239,"endTime":1955.109,"body":"know, like, I met cows and pigs"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1951.239,"endTime":1955.109,"body":"on farms, or, you know, petting"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1955.109,"endTime":1957.119,"body":"zoos, things like that. I'm"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1955.109,"endTime":1957.119,"body":"thinking, Wait a minute, like,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1957.359,"endTime":1961.949,"body":"my family that stuff all the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1957.359,"endTime":1961.949,"body":"time. We mean, and so I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1961.949,"endTime":1965.1589999999999,"body":"eat meat anymore. At 11, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1961.949,"endTime":1965.1589999999999,"body":"decided, okay, there's no"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1965.1589999999999,"endTime":1967.619,"body":"different I know that there's no"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1965.1589999999999,"endTime":1967.619,"body":"difference between a dog and a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1967.619,"endTime":1971.009,"body":"pig. I can't eat meat. We could"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1967.619,"endTime":1971.009,"body":"argue about chickens or fish."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1971.009,"endTime":1973.529,"body":"But you know, I stopped eating"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1971.009,"endTime":1973.529,"body":"all of them. Because I thought,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1973.529,"endTime":1974.999,"body":"well, they all have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1973.529,"endTime":1974.999,"body":"consciousness, they all have"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1974.999,"endTime":1977.639,"body":"feelings, I understand the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1974.999,"endTime":1977.639,"body":"complex emotions that dogs can"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1977.6689999999999,"endTime":1981.239,"body":"feel or thought I did, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1977.6689999999999,"endTime":1981.239,"body":"as a kid. And so I couldn't eat"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1981.239,"endTime":1984.689,"body":"meat anymore. And so that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1981.239,"endTime":1984.689,"body":"awareness, you know, really felt"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1984.689,"endTime":1988.589,"body":"like bad news that I could then"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1984.689,"endTime":1988.589,"body":"self organize around identities"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1988.589,"endTime":1992.009,"body":"being vegetarian. Again, when I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1988.589,"endTime":1992.009,"body":"learned about factory farming"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1992.009,"endTime":1995.069,"body":"and all of that at 16, I became"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1992.009,"endTime":1995.069,"body":"vegan because I thought, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1995.069,"endTime":1999.719,"body":"this is just all bad. And"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1995.069,"endTime":1999.719,"body":"wasn't, then until I left high"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1999.719,"endTime":2002.479,"body":"school to do kind of like a back"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":1999.719,"endTime":2002.479,"body":"to the land thing. All I wanted"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2002.479,"endTime":2005.719,"body":"to do was learn how to farm, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2002.479,"endTime":2005.719,"body":"thought I just want to have no"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2005.719,"endTime":2009.769,"body":"negative impact. So let me go"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2005.719,"endTime":2009.769,"body":"out to California because I grew"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2009.769,"endTime":2012.859,"body":"up in Cleveland, not a place"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2009.769,"endTime":2012.859,"body":"that was super friendly to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2012.859,"endTime":2015.769,"body":"vegans at the time. And so I was"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2012.859,"endTime":2015.769,"body":"like, let me go to California,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2015.769,"endTime":2018.499,"body":"I'm gonna, I'm going to practice"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2015.769,"endTime":2018.499,"body":"farming, I'm going to learn how"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2018.499,"endTime":2023.719,"body":"to do sustainable living so that"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2018.499,"endTime":2023.719,"body":"I can opt out from this really"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2023.719,"endTime":2028.189,"body":"harmful lifestyle that I've"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2023.719,"endTime":2028.189,"body":"inherited, you know, as the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2028.189,"endTime":2033.739,"body":"United States in, and of course,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2028.189,"endTime":2033.739,"body":"I get to the farms, and they're"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2033.739,"endTime":2037.369,"body":"killing animals is a way to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2033.739,"endTime":2037.369,"body":"protect the vegetables. Oh, my"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2037.369,"endTime":2040.369,"body":"God, I couldn't get away from"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2037.369,"endTime":2040.369,"body":"it. I mean, poor gophers. I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2040.369,"endTime":2043.939,"body":"don't know how many generations"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2040.369,"endTime":2043.939,"body":"of gophers were killed, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2043.939,"endTime":2045.979,"body":"know, and I'm being all"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2043.939,"endTime":2045.979,"body":"righteous, like, I'm not going"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2045.979,"endTime":2048.259,"body":"to set the gopher traps, which"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2045.979,"endTime":2048.259,"body":"the farmer didn't carry, set it"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2048.259,"endTime":2052.489,"body":"anyways. You know, I remember"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2048.259,"endTime":2052.489,"body":"when ravens kept coming down to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2052.489,"endTime":2055.489,"body":"eat the seed that was laid out."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2052.489,"endTime":2055.489,"body":"And these are small scale"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2055.489,"endTime":2058.909,"body":"farmers. These are not like the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2055.489,"endTime":2058.909,"body":"big rich agribusiness folks, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2058.909,"endTime":2061.909,"body":"know, they're all organic in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2058.909,"endTime":2061.909,"body":"Northern California. And the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2061.909,"endTime":2064.279,"body":"Ravens were coming out to eat"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2061.909,"endTime":2064.279,"body":"the seed. And so this one farmer"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2064.279,"endTime":2068.179,"body":"shot a raven hung him up by his"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2064.279,"endTime":2068.179,"body":"toes or something like that in"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2068.179,"endTime":2070.579,"body":"the field. And I gotta tell you,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2068.179,"endTime":2070.579,"body":"like, the Raven stopped coming"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2070.579,"endTime":2075.199,"body":"to eat the seeds. It was so sad,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2070.579,"endTime":2075.199,"body":"and it was so sick. And there"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2075.199,"endTime":2078.9790000000003,"body":"was this way that I had to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2075.199,"endTime":2078.9790000000003,"body":"really like, accept that there"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2078.9790000000003,"endTime":2084.649,"body":"was no way as a human being on"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2078.9790000000003,"endTime":2084.649,"body":"this planet. Maybe as a sentient"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2084.649,"endTime":2087.919,"body":"being, I'm not sure there's no"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2084.649,"endTime":2087.919,"body":"way that I can truly opt out"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2087.919,"endTime":2093.7690000000002,"body":"from having some degree of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2087.919,"endTime":2093.7690000000002,"body":"impact, we might call it harm on"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2093.7690000000002,"endTime":2098.059,"body":"my environment. And with having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2093.7690000000002,"endTime":2098.059,"body":"to accept that like that creates"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2098.059,"endTime":2102.619,"body":"its own kind of process, I think"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2098.059,"endTime":2102.619,"body":"of self awareness of, of coming"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2102.619,"endTime":2105.439,"body":"to accept some of these"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2102.619,"endTime":2105.439,"body":"existential givens of I'm going"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2105.439,"endTime":2109.699,"body":"to hurt things in people and of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2105.439,"endTime":2109.699,"body":"course, I can be mindful of the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2109.699,"endTime":2114.469,"body":"degree of harm and intentional"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2109.699,"endTime":2114.469,"body":"harm and things like that. But"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2114.469,"endTime":2117.679,"body":"this has really led to me now"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2114.469,"endTime":2117.679,"body":"you know, I am no longer vegan."},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2117.679,"endTime":2120.499,"body":"I'm no longer vegetarian, but"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2117.679,"endTime":2120.499,"body":"I'm incredibly committed to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2120.499,"endTime":2123.559,"body":"eating local I have incredible"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2120.499,"endTime":2123.559,"body":"privilege living in California"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2123.649,"endTime":2126.499,"body":"to be able to eat local to be"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2123.649,"endTime":2126.499,"body":"able to shop at farmer's markets"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2126.499,"endTime":2129.259,"body":"that are year round. So I see"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2126.499,"endTime":2129.259,"body":"you know, an immense amount of"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2129.259,"endTime":2131.029,"body":"privilege in that you're getting"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2129.259,"endTime":2131.029,"body":"to"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2131.06,"endTime":2132.65,"body":"a question"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2131.06,"endTime":2132.65,"body":"that I was going to ask you"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2132.65,"endTime":2137.84,"body":"which is how the act of becoming"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2132.65,"endTime":2137.84,"body":"aware of oneself one's emotions,"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2137.84,"endTime":2142.58,"body":"one's impact, etc. how that"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2137.84,"endTime":2142.58,"body":"changes your relationship to the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2142.58,"endTime":2145.7,"body":"world and what I'm hearing is"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2142.58,"endTime":2145.7,"body":"that you identified very early"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2145.7,"endTime":2150.02,"body":"on this value around no harm and"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2145.7,"endTime":2150.02,"body":"had to go through like multiday."},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2150.02,"endTime":2153.08,"body":"decades of reckoning with that"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2150.02,"endTime":2153.08,"body":"right? From like the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2153.08,"endTime":2155.54,"body":"righteousness of I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2153.08,"endTime":2155.54,"body":"one of those good people who"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2155.54,"endTime":2158.75,"body":"causes no harm to the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2155.54,"endTime":2158.75,"body":"realization that part of living"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2158.75,"endTime":2161.72,"body":"in a system or an ecosystem is"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2158.75,"endTime":2161.72,"body":"that everything we do has an"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2161.72,"endTime":2164.42,"body":"impact on some other part of the"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2161.72,"endTime":2164.42,"body":"system. And we don't always know"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2164.42,"endTime":2168.11,"body":"what that is. And it's certainly"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2164.42,"endTime":2168.11,"body":"not always for good, right. But"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2168.11,"endTime":2171.17,"body":"again, as your self awareness"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2168.11,"endTime":2171.17,"body":"has expanded, any other things"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2171.17,"endTime":2173.72,"body":"you can say about how your"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2171.17,"endTime":2173.72,"body":"relationship to the world has"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2173.72,"endTime":2177.41,"body":"changed, and that could just be"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2173.72,"endTime":2177.41,"body":"very interpersonal, in terms of"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2177.41,"endTime":2181.19,"body":"your relationships that are very"},{"speaker":"Elizabeth Solomon","startTime":2177.41,"endTime":2181.19,"body":"close, or much larger?"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2182.03,"endTime":2184.7,"body":"That's a great"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2182.03,"endTime":2184.7,"body":"question. This takes me in some"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2184.7,"endTime":2190.13,"body":"ways back to the question around"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2184.7,"endTime":2190.13,"body":"identity, and how, as my self"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2190.13,"endTime":2194.03,"body":"awareness has grown, or changed"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2190.13,"endTime":2194.03,"body":"over time, and impacted by the"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2194.03,"endTime":2198.23,"body":"decades, like you said, there's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2194.03,"endTime":2198.23,"body":"a way that I've kind of more and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2198.23,"endTime":2202.82,"body":"more really seen myself as an"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2198.23,"endTime":2202.82,"body":"Earthling. That might sound kind"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2202.82,"endTime":2206.5099999999998,"body":"of silly, but being outside and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2202.82,"endTime":2206.5099999999998,"body":"particularly in wild spaces is a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2206.5099999999998,"endTime":2211.19,"body":"huge resource for me. And it's a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2206.5099999999998,"endTime":2211.19,"body":"place where self awareness feels"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2211.19,"endTime":2215.0,"body":"very easy. So backpacking is"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2211.19,"endTime":2215.0,"body":"something I try to do multiple"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2215.0,"endTime":2218.09,"body":"times a year, because there's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2215.0,"endTime":2218.09,"body":"something about coming down to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2218.09,"endTime":2221.75,"body":"the simplicity, and not being"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2218.09,"endTime":2221.75,"body":"impacted by media having an"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2221.75,"endTime":2224.18,"body":"immediate break, literally"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2221.75,"endTime":2224.18,"body":"carrying just the very simple"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2224.18,"endTime":2227.18,"body":"things that I'm gonna have while"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2224.18,"endTime":2227.18,"body":"I'm out there, just having"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2227.18,"endTime":2230.6,"body":"voice, meaning, like, I don't"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2227.18,"endTime":2230.6,"body":"really carry radio with me. So"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2230.6,"endTime":2233.93,"body":"it's like our own song that we"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2230.6,"endTime":2233.93,"body":"might create, or conversation or"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2233.93,"endTime":2236.81,"body":"silence hearing. And it's not"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2233.93,"endTime":2236.81,"body":"silent, hearing the natural"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2236.81,"endTime":2241.52,"body":"world out there. I think more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2236.81,"endTime":2241.52,"body":"and more, I've really seen how"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2242.03,"endTime":2247.55,"body":"incredibly connected I feel to"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2242.03,"endTime":2247.55,"body":"this earth, in the sky, but also"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2247.58,"endTime":2251.78,"body":"like this ecosystem, and more"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2247.58,"endTime":2251.78,"body":"and more, try to even see myself"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2251.78,"endTime":2255.56,"body":"as an animal as opposed to a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2251.78,"endTime":2255.56,"body":"human. To kind of just"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2255.56,"endTime":2261.05,"body":"decentralize, to decentralize"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2255.56,"endTime":2261.05,"body":"the idea of self, maybe, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2261.05,"endTime":2265.1,"body":"know, with my clients, I'm kind"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2261.05,"endTime":2265.1,"body":"of in there, and I'm very much a"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2265.1,"endTime":2270.77,"body":"human being with them, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2265.1,"endTime":2270.77,"body":"and my own self awareness allows"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2270.77,"endTime":2277.64,"body":"me to own my mistakes, you know,"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2270.77,"endTime":2277.64,"body":"or try to, like, when I noticed"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2277.64,"endTime":2280.85,"body":"that they happen or when it's"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2277.64,"endTime":2280.85,"body":"reflected to me by others, you"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2280.85,"endTime":2285.08,"body":"know, that it's happened. And"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2280.85,"endTime":2285.08,"body":"it's when I'm more self aware"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2285.08,"endTime":2289.0099999999998,"body":"and willing to see again, this"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2285.08,"endTime":2289.0099999999998,"body":"is in the context of harm, I"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2289.0099999999998,"endTime":2293.48,"body":"guess how I harmed another how"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2289.0099999999998,"endTime":2293.48,"body":"it impacted another, especially"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2293.48,"endTime":2297.62,"body":"if it's unintentional harm, then"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2293.48,"endTime":2297.62,"body":"the pathway to repair becomes"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2297.62,"endTime":2302.69,"body":"evident, if it's possible, and"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2297.62,"endTime":2302.69,"body":"so I can be in more intimate"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2302.69,"endTime":2304.49,"body":"relationships the more self"},{"speaker":"Akhila Kolesar","startTime":2302.69,"endTime":2304.49,"body":"aware I am"}]}