{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":58.119,"endTime":60.999,"body":"Hello, and"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":58.119,"endTime":60.999,"body":"welcome to first person plural"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":61.359,"endTime":64.569,"body":"is a Daniel Goleman. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":61.359,"endTime":64.569,"body":"delighted to be talking to"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":64.569,"endTime":69.879,"body":"someone I admired for years. Amy"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":64.569,"endTime":69.879,"body":"Gallo. Amy's expertise is in"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":69.879,"endTime":73.779,"body":"managing conflict effective"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":69.879,"endTime":73.779,"body":"communications, the dynamics of"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":73.779,"endTime":76.569,"body":"the workplace, which is what"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":73.779,"endTime":76.569,"body":"we're going to focus on today."},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":77.199,"endTime":81.159,"body":"And what I love about Amy among"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":77.199,"endTime":81.159,"body":"many things, not just her"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":81.18900000000001,"endTime":84.489,"body":"wonderful writing, but she"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":81.18900000000001,"endTime":84.489,"body":"really combines rigorous"},{"speaker":"Daniel Goleman","startTime":84.489,"endTime":86.409,"body":"research with practical advice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":87.43,"endTime":90.73,"body":"She's written the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":87.43,"endTime":90.73,"body":"Harvard Business Review Guide to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":90.73,"endTime":94.72,"body":"dealing with conflict. She's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":90.73,"endTime":94.72,"body":"contributing editor to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":94.72,"endTime":100.0,"body":"Harvard Business Review. co host"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":94.72,"endTime":100.0,"body":"of HBr is Women at Work podcast."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.51,"endTime":104.62,"body":"And before joining HBr, she was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":100.51,"endTime":104.62,"body":"a management consultant. She's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":104.62,"endTime":108.61000000000001,"body":"worked in many places, she knows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":104.62,"endTime":108.61000000000001,"body":"what she's writing about her new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.61000000000001,"endTime":113.26,"body":"book, which we're going to focus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":108.61000000000001,"endTime":113.26,"body":"on today is getting along how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":113.26,"endTime":118.12,"body":"work with anyone, even difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":113.26,"endTime":118.12,"body":"people. And Amy, I have to say,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":118.57,"endTime":122.97999999999999,"body":"this is a question I'm so often"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":118.57,"endTime":122.97999999999999,"body":"asked, What can I do about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.97999999999999,"endTime":126.85,"body":"difficult coworker, or this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":122.97999999999999,"endTime":126.85,"body":"difficult boss? So let's get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":126.85,"endTime":131.74,"body":"into it systematically. I'd like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":126.85,"endTime":131.74,"body":"to really just march through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":132.28,"endTime":136.18,"body":"points you make in your book?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":132.28,"endTime":136.18,"body":"And because I think it covers"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":136.18,"endTime":137.44,"body":"the topic, so Well,"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":139.09,"endTime":142.27,"body":"first of all, why"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":139.09,"endTime":142.27,"body":"does it matter? To get along"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":142.27,"endTime":144.85,"body":"with people at work? What"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":142.27,"endTime":144.85,"body":"difference does it make? That's"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":144.85,"endTime":147.58,"body":"a great place to start. And Dan,"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":144.85,"endTime":147.58,"body":"I just want to say thank you for"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":147.58,"endTime":150.43,"body":"having me. And, and thank you"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":147.58,"endTime":150.43,"body":"for for inviting me to have this"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":150.43,"endTime":154.66,"body":"conversation, you seem to be the"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":150.43,"endTime":154.66,"body":"perfect person to talk about"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":154.66,"endTime":157.27,"body":"this book with just your your"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":154.66,"endTime":157.27,"body":"insight. And research,"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":157.27,"endTime":161.29,"body":"obviously, is underlying so much"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":157.27,"endTime":161.29,"body":"of what I've covered in the"},{"speaker":"Amy Gallo","startTime":161.29,"endTime":162.04,"body":"book. 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You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":346.9,"endTime":350.02,"body":"know, the big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":350.02,"endTime":354.52,"body":"dylla hijack is from my original"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":350.02,"endTime":354.52,"body":"book Emotional intelligence. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.52,"endTime":357.4,"body":"since then they've done new work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":354.52,"endTime":357.4,"body":"on the amygdala, they find that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":357.4,"endTime":361.24,"body":"it's very interwoven with what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":357.4,"endTime":361.24,"body":"called the salience network"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.24,"endTime":364.81,"body":"salience means what's important"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":361.24,"endTime":364.81,"body":"to us right now? What do we need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":364.81,"endTime":368.5,"body":"to pay attention to? 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It becomes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.85999999999996,"endTime":414.66999999999996,"body":"that self flagellation, as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.85999999999996,"endTime":414.66999999999996,"body":"opposed to where I eventually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.66999999999996,"endTime":417.96999999999997,"body":"got in, on like, the third or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":414.66999999999996,"endTime":417.96999999999997,"body":"fourth night, which is like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.0,"endTime":420.84999999999997,"body":"Okay, well, what do I want to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":418.0,"endTime":420.84999999999997,"body":"differently? Now that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":420.84999999999997,"endTime":423.96999999999997,"body":"gotten this email now that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":420.84999999999997,"endTime":423.96999999999997,"body":"gotten this feedback? 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But you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":436.33,"endTime":441.19,"body":"know, that, that that's sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":441.19,"endTime":444.7,"body":"the rumination I had to go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":441.19,"endTime":444.7,"body":"through to get to the place"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":444.7,"endTime":447.72999999999996,"body":"where I could actually be in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":444.7,"endTime":447.72999999999996,"body":"learning mindset, a curious"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.72999999999996,"endTime":451.35999999999996,"body":"mindset about okay, well, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":447.72999999999996,"endTime":451.35999999999996,"body":"does this actually mean, for me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":451.35999999999996,"endTime":454.69,"body":"as a person? 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You know, I, my first"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":506.02,"endTime":510.46,"body":"instinct, when I'm I get a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.49,"endTime":513.13,"body":"negative email, or I have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.49,"endTime":513.13,"body":"negative interaction with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.13,"endTime":517.87,"body":"someone is, either I'm bad,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":513.13,"endTime":517.87,"body":"they're bad, or This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.87,"endTime":521.86,"body":"hopeless, right. And that those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":517.87,"endTime":521.86,"body":"that's not a very self aware,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.55,"endTime":527.71,"body":"you know, it's a reactive way to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.55,"endTime":527.71,"body":"think about these these negative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.71,"endTime":530.14,"body":"interactions. And I think the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":527.71,"endTime":530.14,"body":"self awareness is really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.14,"endTime":534.94,"body":"thinking, Okay, well, what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":530.14,"endTime":534.94,"body":"what actually, does this mean to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":534.94,"endTime":538.69,"body":"me? Why am I feeling this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":534.94,"endTime":538.69,"body":"instinct to point out who's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":538.69,"endTime":542.98,"body":"right and who's wrong? Why am I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":538.69,"endTime":542.98,"body":"going down that that path? What"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":542.98,"endTime":547.0600000000001,"body":"is this bringing up for me? And,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":542.98,"endTime":547.0600000000001,"body":"you know, for that email from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.0600000000001,"endTime":551.2,"body":"that, that man, it might have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.0600000000001,"endTime":551.2,"body":"been that I didn't feel like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.2,"endTime":555.07,"body":"was responsive enough to other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.2,"endTime":555.07,"body":"folks who actually did matter."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.1,"endTime":559.3,"body":"And so, okay, let me let me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":555.1,"endTime":559.3,"body":"think about that for a moment"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.33,"endTime":563.35,"body":"of, is he pointing out something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":559.33,"endTime":563.35,"body":"that I already feel insecure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.35,"endTime":568.3,"body":"about? You know, is he reminding"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.35,"endTime":568.3,"body":"me of a family member who's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.3299999999999,"endTime":572.68,"body":"equally abrupt, that's that has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":568.3299999999999,"endTime":572.68,"body":"caused me emotional harm over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.68,"endTime":576.5799999999999,"body":"the years, right? Like there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.68,"endTime":576.5799999999999,"body":"all of these moments of, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.5799999999999,"endTime":580.75,"body":"it's never really just about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.5799999999999,"endTime":580.75,"body":"that interaction. But it's about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.78,"endTime":584.74,"body":"all of the moments in your life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.78,"endTime":584.74,"body":"that have made that interaction."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.01,"endTime":590.47,"body":"Difficult, right, or triggering"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.01,"endTime":590.47,"body":"in that way. So that, to me is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.47,"endTime":592.78,"body":"how I see self awareness come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":590.47,"endTime":592.78,"body":"in. How do you? I mean, do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.78,"endTime":597.97,"body":"see it play a different role?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.78,"endTime":597.97,"body":"Well, it strikes me that you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.21,"endTime":602.74,"body":"really reflecting on your own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.21,"endTime":602.74,"body":"role in the troubling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.74,"endTime":607.0,"body":"relationship. are you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":602.74,"endTime":607.0,"body":"contributing to it somehow? Or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.39,"endTime":611.71,"body":"why is this a trigger for you at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.39,"endTime":611.71,"body":"all? Yeah. Maybe in your past?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.74,"endTime":616.18,"body":"Is this bringing up? And is it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.74,"endTime":616.18,"body":"symbolically about some other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.18,"endTime":619.93,"body":"relationship? I think that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.18,"endTime":619.93,"body":"very profound. That's definitely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.93,"endTime":623.77,"body":"self awareness. Yeah. Well, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.93,"endTime":623.77,"body":"I, and it's, you know, it's,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.77,"endTime":626.86,"body":"you're pointing out something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.77,"endTime":626.86,"body":"about the book that I, that I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":627.1899999999999,"endTime":630.76,"body":"very proud of, but also slightly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":627.1899999999999,"endTime":630.76,"body":"conflicted about which is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.79,"endTime":635.0799999999999,"body":"it requires people who who are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":630.79,"endTime":635.0799999999999,"body":"going to take the advice in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.0799999999999,"endTime":638.53,"body":"book, to be the, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.0799999999999,"endTime":638.53,"body":"quote, unquote, adult in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.53,"endTime":642.1899999999999,"body":"room, right to do this hard work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.53,"endTime":642.1899999999999,"body":"of emotional intelligence,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.31,"endTime":645.13,"body":"taking, you know, self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.31,"endTime":645.13,"body":"awareness, emotional self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.13,"endTime":645.85,"body":"control."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.02,"endTime":649.99,"body":"And you're actually I'm asking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.02,"endTime":649.99,"body":"people to do that when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.02,"endTime":653.29,"body":"They are being harmed. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":650.02,"endTime":653.29,"body":"think that's, that can be really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.29,"endTime":659.35,"body":"complicated. Because it's there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":653.29,"endTime":659.35,"body":"is someone else who's, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.38,"endTime":664.75,"body":"behaving badly, causing you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.38,"endTime":664.75,"body":"stress, challenging you. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.75,"endTime":669.28,"body":"it's very easy to become laser"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":664.75,"endTime":669.28,"body":"focused on how inappropriate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":669.28,"endTime":672.97,"body":"their behavior is how wrong they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":669.28,"endTime":672.97,"body":"are. And oftentimes those things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.97,"endTime":677.41,"body":"are true. But that won't change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":672.97,"endTime":677.41,"body":"the situation. You know, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":677.41,"endTime":679.63,"body":"really, and I remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":677.41,"endTime":679.63,"body":"interviewing you for an article"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.63,"endTime":681.97,"body":"I wrote years ago about how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.63,"endTime":681.97,"body":"work with someone you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":681.97,"endTime":685.72,"body":"like. And I think you I, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":681.97,"endTime":685.72,"body":"gonna remember the exact quote,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":685.72,"endTime":689.4399999999999,"body":"but you said, you know, you, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":685.72,"endTime":689.4399999999999,"body":"only thing you can control are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.4399999999999,"endTime":694.3299999999999,"body":"your reactions to the situation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.4399999999999,"endTime":694.3299999999999,"body":"And so I really, that's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":694.39,"endTime":697.9,"body":"one of the basic tenants of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":694.39,"endTime":697.9,"body":"book is that you're not gonna be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.9,"endTime":701.0799999999999,"body":"able to force this person to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":697.9,"endTime":701.0799999999999,"body":"change. But you can change the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":701.0799999999999,"endTime":704.23,"body":"way you think about them the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":701.0799999999999,"endTime":704.23,"body":"you interact, you can reflect on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.26,"endTime":709.18,"body":"your reactions to their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.26,"endTime":709.18,"body":"behavior, which will change your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":709.18,"endTime":713.74,"body":"emotional state, and therefore,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":709.18,"endTime":713.74,"body":"how you want to react to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":713.74,"endTime":716.59,"body":"person. Almost all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":713.74,"endTime":716.59,"body":"tactics in the book don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":716.59,"endTime":721.24,"body":"require sort of a confrontation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":716.59,"endTime":721.24,"body":"they do. They're really about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":721.24,"endTime":725.71,"body":"trying to draw that person into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":721.24,"endTime":725.71,"body":"a collaborative, cooperative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.71,"endTime":730.03,"body":"discussion or modeling behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.71,"endTime":730.03,"body":"you wish you would see. So it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.03,"endTime":734.5,"body":"shouldn't worsen some of those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.03,"endTime":734.5,"body":"dynamics. The one thing I will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.5,"endTime":739.21,"body":"say, is that I do think most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.5,"endTime":739.21,"body":"people when they are dealing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":739.21,"endTime":743.05,"body":"with someone who is more senior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":739.21,"endTime":743.05,"body":"than them, focus on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":743.05,"endTime":748.09,"body":"downsides of calling out the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":743.05,"endTime":748.09,"body":"behavior or have, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.09,"endTime":752.56,"body":"risks of speaking up. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":748.09,"endTime":752.56,"body":"think what we often don't think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.56,"endTime":757.09,"body":"about are the risks of not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.56,"endTime":757.09,"body":"speaking up. And are those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":757.09,"endTime":760.63,"body":"greater than the risks of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":757.09,"endTime":760.63,"body":"challenging this person in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.66,"endTime":763.81,"body":"authority? Now, you need to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":760.66,"endTime":763.81,"body":"realistic, there are risks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.84,"endTime":767.98,"body":"usually of challenging someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":763.84,"endTime":767.98,"body":"who has authority. But are those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.28,"endTime":772.24,"body":"are? Are they realistic? And are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.28,"endTime":772.24,"body":"they greater than the risks of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.24,"endTime":776.14,"body":"not doing anything? Well, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.24,"endTime":776.14,"body":"think also you're advised to use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.14,"endTime":780.0699999999999,"body":"an indirect challenge, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.14,"endTime":780.0699999999999,"body":"more like an invitation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.15,"endTime":784.99,"body":"The most appropriate mode more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":781.15,"endTime":784.99,"body":"often, when you're dealing with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.99,"endTime":790.4499999999999,"body":"the superior. Yeah, yep. And,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.99,"endTime":790.4499999999999,"body":"and, you know, people, people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.4499999999999,"endTime":797.14,"body":"really hesitate to to directly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":790.4499999999999,"endTime":797.14,"body":"confront people of authority,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.14,"endTime":802.36,"body":"and for good reason, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":797.14,"endTime":802.36,"body":"think we often see the those the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.39,"endTime":805.48,"body":"people take retaliate, and or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.39,"endTime":805.48,"body":"not even retaliate, I mean, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":805.48,"endTime":809.23,"body":"not even, you're gonna get fired"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":805.48,"endTime":809.23,"body":"for telling your boss that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":809.23,"endTime":811.63,"body":"disagree with them, it's more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":809.23,"endTime":811.63,"body":"often that you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":811.63,"endTime":814.99,"body":"experience reputational damage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":811.63,"endTime":814.99,"body":"that's going to harm your career"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.99,"endTime":819.9399999999999,"body":"over the long term. But as you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.99,"endTime":819.9399999999999,"body":"said, Dan, I think if you invite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.9399999999999,"endTime":825.55,"body":"them into a conversation about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.9399999999999,"endTime":825.55,"body":"how do I handle this specific"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.55,"endTime":830.29,"body":"thing, or how do we work better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.55,"endTime":830.29,"body":"together? How can what can I do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":830.29,"endTime":833.11,"body":"differently to make sure we work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":830.29,"endTime":833.11,"body":"better together? That that's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":833.11,"endTime":837.73,"body":"different use? I wonder, Amy, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":833.11,"endTime":837.73,"body":"you can sometimes position it?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.73,"endTime":843.34,"body":"As you know, your boss's success"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.73,"endTime":843.34,"body":"depends on you. And your team?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":843.88,"endTime":848.74,"body":"How can I how can I help you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":843.88,"endTime":848.74,"body":"better? In this situation? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.01,"endTime":853.24,"body":"Yep. And I and people do really,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":849.01,"endTime":853.24,"body":"that's like classic managing up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.24,"endTime":859.15,"body":"skills, right of like, I, I need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":853.24,"endTime":859.15,"body":"to be helping my boss succeed, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":859.15,"endTime":862.12,"body":"need to be thinking about what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":859.15,"endTime":862.12,"body":"their goals are. And a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.12,"endTime":865.15,"body":"times when your boss is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":862.12,"endTime":865.15,"body":"insecure, or passive aggressive,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.42,"endTime":872.23,"body":"or, you know, demeaning in some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":865.42,"endTime":872.23,"body":"way or that, that we just think,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.26,"endTime":875.77,"body":"Oh, why would I help this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.26,"endTime":875.77,"body":"person? Right? Why, why? Why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.77,"endTime":878.65,"body":"would I care about whether they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.77,"endTime":878.65,"body":"succeed if they're so awful to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":878.65,"endTime":881.62,"body":"me? And the truth is, was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":878.65,"endTime":881.62,"body":"insecure, folks, if you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":881.62,"endTime":885.4,"body":"actually show them, you're on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":881.62,"endTime":885.4,"body":"their side, oftentimes, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.4,"endTime":890.38,"body":"that behavior will, I won't say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.4,"endTime":890.38,"body":"go away, but will improve,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":890.56,"endTime":894.28,"body":"right? Because then then you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":890.56,"endTime":894.28,"body":"seen as an ally, instead of a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":894.28,"endTime":894.67,"body":"threat."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.53,"endTime":900.0699999999999,"body":"That's really important. Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.53,"endTime":900.0699999999999,"body":"before we get into what to do,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0699999999999,"endTime":903.34,"body":"which I think is a wonderful"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0699999999999,"endTime":903.34,"body":"part of your book, let's hear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":903.34,"endTime":906.31,"body":"about the types. You talked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":903.34,"endTime":906.31,"body":"about eight common types,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.0,"endTime":912.67,"body":"difficult people. Yeah. And I'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.0,"endTime":912.67,"body":"love to get your take on it. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.67,"endTime":915.79,"body":"know, what are the three or four"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":912.67,"endTime":915.79,"body":"most common types? Can you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.03,"endTime":920.14,"body":"destroy about each? Yeah, of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.03,"endTime":920.14,"body":"course. So the the eight types,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":920.17,"endTime":923.62,"body":"just to be clear, not a mutually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":920.17,"endTime":923.62,"body":"exclusive. You know, this is not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.62,"endTime":927.64,"body":"a categorization like in MBTI"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.62,"endTime":927.64,"body":"serve, you know, assessment, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.64,"endTime":930.5799999999999,"body":"I think this is just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":927.64,"endTime":930.5799999999999,"body":"descriptions of the common"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":930.61,"endTime":934.42,"body":"archetypes that I heard about in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":930.61,"endTime":934.42,"body":"my work that people were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.42,"endTime":938.62,"body":"encountering most often. And,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.42,"endTime":938.62,"body":"you know, the ones up there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":938.62,"endTime":941.89,"body":"eight of them, and there's I'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":938.62,"endTime":941.89,"body":"point out a few that I think are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.89,"endTime":945.64,"body":"most relevant for folks. One is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.89,"endTime":945.64,"body":"the insecure manager. I can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.64,"endTime":950.02,"body":"tell you how many times I hear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.64,"endTime":950.02,"body":"about bad bosses and it might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.02,"endTime":953.11,"body":"I see that they're incompetent,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":950.02,"endTime":953.11,"body":"it might be that they're toxic."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.1999999999999,"endTime":956.26,"body":"And I think a lot of it at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.1999999999999,"endTime":956.26,"body":"end of the day comes down to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.26,"endTime":959.26,"body":"fact that some managers feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.26,"endTime":959.26,"body":"insecure. And so I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":959.26,"endTime":963.64,"body":"focused on that that archetype."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":959.26,"endTime":963.64,"body":"It reminds me of the so called"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.64,"endTime":967.51,"body":"the imposter syndrome, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":963.64,"endTime":967.51,"body":"extremely surprisingly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.51,"endTime":971.3199999999999,"body":"widespread among the managerial"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.51,"endTime":971.3199999999999,"body":"class and professional class."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.04,"endTime":974.86,"body":"People feel that they're faking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.04,"endTime":974.86,"body":"it, or that they'll be found"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.86,"endTime":978.49,"body":"out. They don't really have what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":974.86,"endTime":978.49,"body":"it takes, which of course, would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.49,"endTime":982.48,"body":"make you feel very insecure."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.49,"endTime":982.48,"body":"Yeah, yeah. And it's, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.48,"endTime":987.1,"body":"absolutely human to feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.48,"endTime":987.1,"body":"insecure. In fact, a good you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.1,"endTime":991.09,"body":"know, good dose of insecurity"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":987.1,"endTime":991.09,"body":"makes us huge, you humble, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.09,"endTime":995.14,"body":"makes us self reflective. If you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.09,"endTime":995.14,"body":"weren't, if you're if you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.14,"endTime":998.89,"body":"zero insecurity, you're sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":995.14,"endTime":998.89,"body":"veering into the psychopaths"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.89,"endTime":1001.71,"body":"territory, right? Like, you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.89,"endTime":1001.71,"body":"to have a little bit of self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.71,"endTime":1004.65,"body":"doubt. The problem is, I think a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.71,"endTime":1004.65,"body":"lot of people, especially when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.65,"endTime":1007.35,"body":"they get into positions of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.65,"endTime":1007.35,"body":"power, as you point out, go into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.35,"endTime":1010.1999999999999,"body":"that imposter syndrome, where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.35,"endTime":1010.1999999999999,"body":"they're really self doubting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1010.47,"endTime":1014.37,"body":"what they're, you know, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1010.47,"endTime":1014.37,"body":"they're capable of. And they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.37,"endTime":1017.04,"body":"take, they often take that out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1014.37,"endTime":1017.04,"body":"on the people they manage, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.04,"endTime":1021.18,"body":"think that one reason that I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1017.04,"endTime":1021.18,"body":"observed that this happens is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.18,"endTime":1024.57,"body":"that people tend to be promoted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.18,"endTime":1024.57,"body":"to the level of incompetence,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.17,"endTime":1028.2,"body":"which is to say, You were such a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.17,"endTime":1028.2,"body":"good individual contributor,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.2,"endTime":1031.38,"body":"we're gonna make you head of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1028.2,"endTime":1031.38,"body":"team ahead of the division. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.38,"endTime":1035.52,"body":"all of a sudden, your leadership"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.38,"endTime":1035.52,"body":"skills matter. And you've never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.52,"endTime":1037.98,"body":"had to use them before. In fact,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.52,"endTime":1037.98,"body":"you don't even know what they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.98,"endTime":1041.64,"body":"are, you know, about people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.98,"endTime":1041.64,"body":"being promoted to the level of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1041.64,"endTime":1044.67,"body":"incompetence. One of the things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1041.64,"endTime":1044.67,"body":"I really admire, actually about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.7,"endTime":1048.27,"body":"my husband, he is an individual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.7,"endTime":1048.27,"body":"contributor in his role. He's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.27,"endTime":1051.3,"body":"been at the organization longer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1048.27,"endTime":1051.3,"body":"than anyone else on the team,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1051.57,"endTime":1053.91,"body":"there have been opportunities"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1051.57,"endTime":1053.91,"body":"for him to step into a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.91,"endTime":1058.23,"body":"managerial role. And he is every"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.91,"endTime":1058.23,"body":"time said, it's not what I want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.23,"endTime":1063.39,"body":"to do. And, and I think that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.23,"endTime":1063.39,"body":"it's, you know, it's just such a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1063.39,"endTime":1067.44,"body":"smart move for him, because for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1063.39,"endTime":1067.44,"body":"a variety of reasons I won't get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.44,"endTime":1073.6200000000001,"body":"into, but I think it really, he"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.44,"endTime":1073.6200000000001,"body":"was so clear on the challenge of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1073.6200000000001,"endTime":1078.15,"body":"what that would present for him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1073.6200000000001,"endTime":1078.15,"body":"as an individual, that even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.15,"endTime":1080.91,"body":"though it would mean more money,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.15,"endTime":1080.91,"body":"maybe more risk, more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1080.91,"endTime":1085.05,"body":"responsibility, maybe more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1080.91,"endTime":1085.05,"body":"prestige. He's just been very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.32,"endTime":1089.46,"body":"clear eyed about the fact that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1085.32,"endTime":1089.46,"body":"that's not what he wants to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.46,"endTime":1093.72,"body":"every day is interesting to me,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1089.46,"endTime":1093.72,"body":"You know what, I'm doing a book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.72,"endTime":1096.54,"body":"with Carrie Chernus, who has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.72,"endTime":1096.54,"body":"been co director of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1096.54,"endTime":1099.87,"body":"Consortium on for research on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1096.54,"endTime":1099.87,"body":"emotional intelligence"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.87,"endTime":1103.74,"body":"organizations, and we're looking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1099.87,"endTime":1103.74,"body":"at 20 years of research, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.74,"endTime":1107.58,"body":"makes it very clear that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1103.74,"endTime":1107.58,"body":"emotional intelligence for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1107.58,"endTime":1112.02,"body":"leaders can be developed. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1107.58,"endTime":1112.02,"body":"it's really important for an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1112.02,"endTime":1114.75,"body":"emotionally intelligent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1112.02,"endTime":1114.75,"body":"organization to put time and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.75,"endTime":1118.1399999999999,"body":"effort into that, and to give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1114.75,"endTime":1118.1399999999999,"body":"people the chance to do it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1118.56,"endTime":1121.56,"body":"because so many people need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1118.56,"endTime":1121.56,"body":"do it. And so when you talked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.56,"endTime":1125.16,"body":"about the insecure boss, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1121.56,"endTime":1125.16,"body":"that could be a common factor."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.31,"endTime":1130.71,"body":"That's right. So what what are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1125.31,"endTime":1130.71,"body":"some more other types? Yeah. Do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.71,"endTime":1133.65,"body":"you want to hear about, I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1130.71,"endTime":1133.65,"body":"always tell whenever I give a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1133.65,"endTime":1137.04,"body":"talk about conflict, I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1133.65,"endTime":1137.04,"body":"almost time it say I always say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.04,"endTime":1140.91,"body":"the the first second or third"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1137.04,"endTime":1140.91,"body":"question in the q\u0026a will be how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.91,"endTime":1144.15,"body":"to deal with someone who's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1140.91,"endTime":1144.15,"body":"passive aggressive. It's it is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.33,"endTime":1149.49,"body":"the, you know, really the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1144.33,"endTime":1149.49,"body":"question I get most often. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1149.52,"endTime":1152.85,"body":"that that's one again, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1149.52,"endTime":1152.85,"body":"I tried to normalize in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.85,"endTime":1156.3899999999999,"body":"book, I also exhibited a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1152.85,"endTime":1156.3899999999999,"body":"these behaviors myself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.3899999999999,"endTime":1159.66,"body":"sometimes I have been passive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1156.3899999999999,"endTime":1159.66,"body":"aggressive, I have acted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.11,"endTime":1163.53,"body":"insecurely, maybe what does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1160.11,"endTime":1163.53,"body":"passive aggressiveness look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1163.53,"endTime":1166.65,"body":"like? How can you tell someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1163.53,"endTime":1166.65,"body":"hat is following that pattern?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1166.8899999999999,"endTime":1170.91,"body":"Yeah, it's so I actually in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1166.8899999999999,"endTime":1170.91,"body":"research for the book found out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1170.91,"endTime":1175.95,"body":"that the term was first coined,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1170.91,"endTime":1175.95,"body":"in the 1920s, to describe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.73,"endTime":1181.5,"body":"soldiers in the military who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1176.73,"endTime":1181.5,"body":"would not comply with direct"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.53,"endTime":1184.77,"body":"orders. So they would they would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.53,"endTime":1184.77,"body":"agree, yeah, sure, I'll do that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.77,"endTime":1188.8799999999999,"body":"And then they would just resist"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1184.77,"endTime":1188.8799999999999,"body":"and not do it. The term has a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.91,"endTime":1192.93,"body":"long history and has been part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.91,"endTime":1192.93,"body":"of the DSM then taken out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1193.95,"endTime":1197.4,"body":"And, you know, it's not an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1193.95,"endTime":1197.4,"body":"official diagnosis, which makes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1197.4,"endTime":1200.8799999999999,"body":"sense. But it's typically in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1197.4,"endTime":1200.8799999999999,"body":"what we see in the workplace. Is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1200.8799999999999,"endTime":1204.15,"body":"it someone who says yes, in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1200.8799999999999,"endTime":1204.15,"body":"meeting, but then doesn't follow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.15,"endTime":1208.11,"body":"through. It's someone who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1204.15,"endTime":1208.11,"body":"insists that they're fine, even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.11,"endTime":1210.66,"body":"though they're displaying body"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.11,"endTime":1210.66,"body":"language that shows they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1210.66,"endTime":1215.31,"body":"upset or they're angry. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1210.66,"endTime":1215.31,"body":"know, in our mutual friend Annie"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1215.31,"endTime":1219.21,"body":"McKee calls it, you know, it can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1215.31,"endTime":1219.21,"body":"feel like shadowboxing that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.21,"endTime":1223.77,"body":"you're actually you're trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1219.21,"endTime":1223.77,"body":"sort of land on facts and data,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.77,"endTime":1226.92,"body":"but they're just constantly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1223.77,"endTime":1226.92,"body":"avoiding. And that's really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.92,"endTime":1229.8,"body":"what's at the base of a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1226.92,"endTime":1229.8,"body":"the passive aggressive behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1229.8,"endTime":1232.95,"body":"is the fear of conflict. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1229.8,"endTime":1232.95,"body":"they're actually trying to avoid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.01,"endTime":1235.5,"body":"conflict for one reason or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.01,"endTime":1235.5,"body":"another. They don't feel like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1235.5,"endTime":1238.17,"body":"they can be direct and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1235.5,"endTime":1238.17,"body":"straightforward about their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.17,"endTime":1242.25,"body":"thoughts and feelings. So might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1238.17,"endTime":1242.25,"body":"be fear of failure. You know, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.25,"endTime":1246.24,"body":"might be a desire to be perfect."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.25,"endTime":1246.24,"body":"And a lot of that is underlying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1246.33,"endTime":1249.99,"body":"that behavior. And it's one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1246.33,"endTime":1249.99,"body":"the archetypes that I honest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1250.02,"endTime":1254.19,"body":"They find the most challenging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1250.02,"endTime":1254.19,"body":"to deal with review what dealt"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1254.19,"endTime":1256.35,"body":"with someone like that. Can you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1254.19,"endTime":1256.35,"body":"tell us about someone?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1257.46,"endTime":1257.97,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1259.4089999999999,"endTime":1261.059,"body":"Yeah. So I actually,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1262.26,"endTime":1267.36,"body":"in early in my career, I was in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1262.26,"endTime":1267.36,"body":"a, on a team, or someone who had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.36,"endTime":1271.11,"body":"been with the organization at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.36,"endTime":1271.11,"body":"the beginning of it had left,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1271.23,"endTime":1274.86,"body":"and then was coming back. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1271.23,"endTime":1274.86,"body":"everyone said, spoke about her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1274.86,"endTime":1277.41,"body":"so highly, and I thought, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1274.86,"endTime":1277.41,"body":"this is going to be great, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.41,"endTime":1280.71,"body":"gonna get to work with this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1277.41,"endTime":1280.71,"body":"person. And immediately, I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.8899999999999,"endTime":1285.12,"body":"got the sense that we didn't hit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.8899999999999,"endTime":1285.12,"body":"it off. And I'm sure I felt a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.12,"endTime":1289.44,"body":"little intimidated by her given"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.12,"endTime":1289.44,"body":"her reputation, I think she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.16,"endTime":1293.85,"body":"really felt a strong need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1290.16,"endTime":1293.85,"body":"prove reprove herself since she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.85,"endTime":1297.99,"body":"was rejoining the organization."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1293.85,"endTime":1297.99,"body":"And what I would find is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.2,"endTime":1301.77,"body":"she would have this big smile on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1298.2,"endTime":1301.77,"body":"her face and meetings, she would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.77,"endTime":1305.01,"body":"give these compliments that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1301.77,"endTime":1305.01,"body":"sounded a little empty, but then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1305.01,"endTime":1309.69,"body":"I'd find out that she was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1305.01,"endTime":1309.69,"body":"talking about me, to my boss, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1309.72,"endTime":1314.01,"body":"my colleagues, right? And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1309.72,"endTime":1314.01,"body":"felt very few times I said, Can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.01,"endTime":1316.95,"body":"we sit down and, and talk? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1314.01,"endTime":1316.95,"body":"she'd be like, why everything's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.95,"endTime":1320.43,"body":"fine. You know? And it was just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1316.95,"endTime":1320.43,"body":"this, everything's fine. What do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1320.43,"endTime":1323.1299999999999,"body":"you mean, feeling that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1324.15,"endTime":1328.29,"body":"you know, I knew something was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1324.15,"endTime":1328.29,"body":"not right. And, and I never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1328.29,"endTime":1332.22,"body":"actually, this, I didn't have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1328.29,"endTime":1332.22,"body":"any of the skills that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.22,"endTime":1334.47,"body":"advocate for in the book at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1332.22,"endTime":1334.47,"body":"time, because it was really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.47,"endTime":1337.53,"body":"early in my career. And I never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1334.47,"endTime":1337.53,"body":"found a way to get along with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.53,"endTime":1341.19,"body":"her. I never found a way to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1337.53,"endTime":1341.19,"body":"connect with her. And I regret"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.19,"endTime":1344.55,"body":"it. I wish I could go back in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1341.19,"endTime":1344.55,"body":"time, and really sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.55,"endTime":1347.79,"body":"understand a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1344.55,"endTime":1347.79,"body":"about why she was behaving that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.79,"endTime":1351.03,"body":"way and what I was doing to make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1347.79,"endTime":1351.03,"body":"it because she wasn't behaving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1351.03,"endTime":1354.84,"body":"this way with others. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1351.03,"endTime":1354.84,"body":"was really a sign for me. Was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1354.84,"endTime":1358.71,"body":"she the type you call a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1354.84,"endTime":1358.71,"body":"political operator? She was so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1358.71,"endTime":1361.44,"body":"she and this is a good point. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1358.71,"endTime":1361.44,"body":"the archetypes in the book."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1361.44,"endTime":1364.2,"body":"They're not we don't all none of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1361.44,"endTime":1364.2,"body":"our colleagues fall neatly into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.2,"endTime":1367.29,"body":"one category. They're usually a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1364.2,"endTime":1367.29,"body":"hot mess of several the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1367.29,"endTime":1371.16,"body":"archetypes. Right. And so she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1367.29,"endTime":1371.16,"body":"was very much a political"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.16,"endTime":1375.09,"body":"operator cared a lot about her"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1371.16,"endTime":1375.09,"body":"career, cared a lot about being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1375.09,"endTime":1378.42,"body":"seen as someone who's very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1375.09,"endTime":1378.42,"body":"valuable to the organization and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1378.42,"endTime":1382.68,"body":"was willing to play office"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1378.42,"endTime":1382.68,"body":"politics in a way that harmed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1382.71,"endTime":1386.46,"body":"others. As long as she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1382.71,"endTime":1386.46,"body":"benefited, right, she didn't she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1386.49,"endTime":1389.79,"body":"didn't care so much that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1386.49,"endTime":1389.79,"body":"would sort of be the shrapnel in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1389.79,"endTime":1393.42,"body":"that those efforts. I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1389.79,"endTime":1393.42,"body":"assume a political operator"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.42,"endTime":1396.84,"body":"would do things like to credit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1393.42,"endTime":1396.84,"body":"for other people's work, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.84,"endTime":1401.67,"body":"backbite. Negatively viciously"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1396.84,"endTime":1401.67,"body":"actually about other people."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1401.91,"endTime":1405.18,"body":"Yeah, gossip is a big piece of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1401.91,"endTime":1405.18,"body":"that that the political"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.18,"endTime":1409.29,"body":"operators tool kit, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.18,"endTime":1409.29,"body":"gossip, like even lying, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1409.29,"endTime":1411.9,"body":"I think and you see this with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1409.29,"endTime":1411.9,"body":"passive aggressive nests, too,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.9,"endTime":1415.35,"body":"is that when you try to pinpoint"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1411.9,"endTime":1415.35,"body":"someone needs as a political"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.35,"endTime":1418.86,"body":"operator the passive aggressive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1415.35,"endTime":1418.86,"body":"on I noticed you're doing this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.8899999999999,"endTime":1421.59,"body":"right, they'll often be like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.8899999999999,"endTime":1421.59,"body":"No, I'm not. No, no, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.74,"endTime":1425.7,"body":"you took credit for that, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1421.74,"endTime":1425.7,"body":"work that we worked on together"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1425.7,"endTime":1428.8799999999999,"body":"that project No, it didn't I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1425.7,"endTime":1428.8799999999999,"body":"give you credit, and then you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.91,"endTime":1432.9,"body":"you're thinking, Wait, did I you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1428.91,"endTime":1432.9,"body":"know, the self doubt starts to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.9,"endTime":1436.59,"body":"come in of like, Wait, did I not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1432.9,"endTime":1436.59,"body":"see that correctly? Sounds like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1436.59,"endTime":1440.7,"body":"gaslighting yes, there's there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1436.59,"endTime":1440.7,"body":"a big part of gaslighting in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1440.7,"endTime":1443.01,"body":"both the passive aggressive and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1440.7,"endTime":1443.01,"body":"I think the passive aggressive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1443.01,"endTime":1446.46,"body":"peer, it's often inadvertent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1443.01,"endTime":1446.46,"body":"gaslighting. I think with the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1446.46,"endTime":1449.46,"body":"political operators, sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1446.46,"endTime":1449.46,"body":"it's very intentional for them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1449.49,"endTime":1453.3899999999999,"body":"in order to help them get ahead."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1449.49,"endTime":1453.3899999999999,"body":"One of the worst types, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.3899999999999,"endTime":1457.2,"body":"on on your list is The Tormentor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.3899999999999,"endTime":1457.2,"body":"who has no empathy for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.2,"endTime":1461.73,"body":"victim. Yeah, the tormentor is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.2,"endTime":1461.73,"body":"you know, I really had in mind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1461.76,"endTime":1466.77,"body":"actually a boss that I once had,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1461.76,"endTime":1466.77,"body":"which is someone who I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.77,"endTime":1471.72,"body":"looked up to, I was excited to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.77,"endTime":1471.72,"body":"work for her. And I found that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1471.72,"endTime":1476.4,"body":"she, every time we, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1471.72,"endTime":1476.4,"body":"looking to her for guidance, or,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.15,"endTime":1479.8799999999999,"body":"you know, sort of was, was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.15,"endTime":1479.8799999999999,"body":"hoping that there would be some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.12,"endTime":1485.01,"body":"connection between us, she was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.12,"endTime":1485.01,"body":"just re emphasizing all of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.01,"endTime":1490.83,"body":"sacrifices she made, and really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1485.01,"endTime":1490.83,"body":"just was sort of saying over and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.83,"endTime":1494.28,"body":"over, you haven't earned it yet."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.83,"endTime":1494.28,"body":"You haven't. And you have, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.28,"endTime":1498.45,"body":"have to earn it by doing these,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1494.28,"endTime":1498.45,"body":"you know, by not spending time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.45,"endTime":1501.84,"body":"with your family by accepting a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1498.45,"endTime":1501.84,"body":"lower paid job by you know, just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1501.87,"endTime":1505.8,"body":"these all of these sacrifices"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1501.87,"endTime":1505.8,"body":"that she had made by choice. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1505.8,"endTime":1509.61,"body":"will point out that she wanted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1505.8,"endTime":1509.61,"body":"me to also make not by choice,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1509.61,"endTime":1513.15,"body":"because she felt it was how you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1509.61,"endTime":1513.15,"body":"earned your way and in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1513.18,"endTime":1517.86,"body":"organization, or in that, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1513.18,"endTime":1517.86,"body":"industry. And, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1517.86,"endTime":1521.61,"body":"term tormentor, actually was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1517.86,"endTime":1521.61,"body":"suggested to me by a colleague"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1521.61,"endTime":1524.91,"body":"on LinkedIn who said, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1521.61,"endTime":1524.91,"body":"it's someone who expect to be a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1524.91,"endTime":1528.78,"body":"mentor, but they actually just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1524.91,"endTime":1528.78,"body":"keep on kicking and kicking. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.78,"endTime":1532.05,"body":"so you're, you're suffering"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1528.78,"endTime":1532.05,"body":"their abuse. When you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.05,"endTime":1534.81,"body":"thinking Lee, I thought you were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.05,"endTime":1534.81,"body":"going to be a friend. I thought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1534.81,"endTime":1537.99,"body":"you were going to be a sponsor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1534.81,"endTime":1537.99,"body":"and ally, and it can feel that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.99,"endTime":1542.25,"body":"much worse because of it. Then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.99,"endTime":1542.25,"body":"there's a type that seems on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.25,"endTime":1547.17,"body":"another dimension that no at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1542.25,"endTime":1547.17,"body":"all. Yeah, who you you can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1547.17,"endTime":1549.99,"body":"tell anything to, I suppose."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1547.17,"endTime":1549.99,"body":"Yeah. And just how it seems to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.02,"endTime":1553.53,"body":"have all the facts and data and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1550.02,"endTime":1553.53,"body":"you know, really, this is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.53,"endTime":1557.04,"body":"first person who speaks up in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.53,"endTime":1557.04,"body":"every meeting, right? They might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.04,"endTime":1561.3899999999999,"body":"talk over you, they might not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.04,"endTime":1561.3899999999999,"body":"take any, you know, they raise"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.3899999999999,"endTime":1566.01,"body":"their voice if you try to speak"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.3899999999999,"endTime":1566.01,"body":"up, you know, I'll admit this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1566.01,"endTime":1569.85,"body":"the archetype identify most with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1566.01,"endTime":1569.85,"body":"I have been accused of being a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1569.85,"endTime":1570.18,"body":"node"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1571.3799999999999,"endTime":1575.49,"body":"at times, and this is the trait"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1571.3799999999999,"endTime":1575.49,"body":"of the No at all that that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.49,"endTime":1580.29,"body":"most identify with is the saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.49,"endTime":1580.29,"body":"something with such certainty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1580.56,"endTime":1583.11,"body":"that there's no room for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1580.56,"endTime":1583.11,"body":"disagreement, right. And I'd"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.11,"endTime":1586.8,"body":"have done that, I do probably"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1583.11,"endTime":1586.8,"body":"still do that, where sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.8,"endTime":1589.41,"body":"you just say it, like, as if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.8,"endTime":1589.41,"body":"there's, there's no other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1589.41,"endTime":1593.52,"body":"interpretation of this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1589.41,"endTime":1593.52,"body":"situation. And it's, can be so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1593.52,"endTime":1597.3,"body":"detrimental to the people around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1593.52,"endTime":1597.3,"body":"you, especially people who do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1597.3,"endTime":1600.15,"body":"have some humility, do want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1597.3,"endTime":1600.15,"body":"see things from multiple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.15,"endTime":1603.9,"body":"perspectives. They just feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1600.15,"endTime":1603.9,"body":"completely bulldozed by these by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1603.9,"endTime":1608.46,"body":"these know it alls, who, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1603.9,"endTime":1608.46,"body":"know, who, who feel like they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1608.46,"endTime":1612.6299999999999,"body":"have just an abundance of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1608.46,"endTime":1612.6299999999999,"body":"confidence. And they're,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.71,"endTime":1616.26,"body":"they're just willing to display"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.71,"endTime":1616.26,"body":"that, is that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1617.6399999999999,"endTime":1621.99,"body":"does that have to do also with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1617.6399999999999,"endTime":1621.99,"body":"another type, the, the person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1621.99,"endTime":1625.05,"body":"who is biased and doesn't see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1621.99,"endTime":1625.05,"body":"their bias or some relation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.05,"endTime":1628.1399999999999,"body":"because I think that the nodal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.05,"endTime":1628.1399999999999,"body":"just is so focused on their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1628.1399999999999,"endTime":1631.71,"body":"perspective and their own own"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1628.1399999999999,"endTime":1631.71,"body":"experience, they can't imagine"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.92,"endTime":1634.98,"body":"that they would bring in bias or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1631.92,"endTime":1634.98,"body":"they can imagine that it would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1634.98,"endTime":1638.22,"body":"matter, right? They're like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1634.98,"endTime":1638.22,"body":"Well, I'm doing so well. I know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.22,"endTime":1641.01,"body":"I'm such an expert on this, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1638.22,"endTime":1641.01,"body":"doesn't matter if I have a few"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1641.01,"endTime":1646.2,"body":"flaws. Like these, these biases,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1641.01,"endTime":1646.2,"body":"I mean, the bias coworker is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1646.2,"endTime":1649.74,"body":"another one that's incredibly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1646.2,"endTime":1649.74,"body":"difficult to deal with. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1649.98,"endTime":1653.1299999999999,"body":"truthfully, we all hold biases,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1649.98,"endTime":1653.1299999999999,"body":"right? But the bias coworker is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1653.1299999999999,"endTime":1656.73,"body":"someone who does not care, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1653.1299999999999,"endTime":1656.73,"body":"does not self reflect they have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.73,"endTime":1660.27,"body":"none of the self awareness that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.73,"endTime":1660.27,"body":"that's required an EI, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.27,"endTime":1666.21,"body":"recognize that we all hold"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.27,"endTime":1666.21,"body":"biases and prejudices, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1666.27,"endTime":1670.65,"body":"they're just willing to sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1666.27,"endTime":1670.65,"body":"let all that seep out, make, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.65,"endTime":1675.24,"body":"know, microaggressions, bias"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.65,"endTime":1675.24,"body":"comments, and get really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.24,"endTime":1679.11,"body":"defensive, and then sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1675.24,"endTime":1679.11,"body":"truly, really awful. In response"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1679.11,"endTime":1682.68,"body":"to any challenging of that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1679.11,"endTime":1682.68,"body":"behavior, you have an example"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.68,"endTime":1687.87,"body":"from your own working life. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1682.68,"endTime":1687.87,"body":"bias type, well, I have a real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.9,"endTime":1691.71,"body":"inadvertent example, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1687.9,"endTime":1691.71,"body":"actually didn't make it into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1691.71,"endTime":1695.22,"body":"book. But but it's something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1691.71,"endTime":1695.22,"body":"that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.9,"endTime":1699.12,"body":"you know, something that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1696.9,"endTime":1699.12,"body":"actually made a big impression"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.12,"endTime":1702.54,"body":"on me and my work life, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1699.12,"endTime":1702.54,"body":"was that I was working, it was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.57,"endTime":1706.92,"body":"colleague who were working on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1702.57,"endTime":1706.92,"body":"team. And we were trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.92,"endTime":1711.69,"body":"choose images to go with with a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1706.92,"endTime":1711.69,"body":"piece of writing, the image we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.69,"endTime":1717.09,"body":"chose, included some depictions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1711.69,"endTime":1717.09,"body":"of people of color. And she made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1717.09,"endTime":1722.49,"body":"a comment on the attributes of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1717.09,"endTime":1722.49,"body":"the those depictions, and said,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.49,"endTime":1724.59,"body":"I just don't think this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1722.49,"endTime":1724.59,"body":"realistic."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.73,"endTime":1731.28,"body":"But it was incredibly dismissive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1725.73,"endTime":1731.28,"body":"of the the reality of how people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.28,"endTime":1736.44,"body":"actually look. And I, to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1731.28,"endTime":1736.44,"body":"fair, did not think of her, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.44,"endTime":1739.05,"body":"thought of her comments as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1736.44,"endTime":1739.05,"body":"dismissive but not biased. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1739.05,"endTime":1742.2,"body":"there was another colleague of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1739.05,"endTime":1742.2,"body":"mine, a woman of color, who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.23,"endTime":1745.29,"body":"reached out to me and said, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1742.23,"endTime":1745.29,"body":"feel like those comments were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1745.32,"endTime":1750.18,"body":"really inappropriate. And I, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1745.32,"endTime":1750.18,"body":"know, sort of opened my eyes to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1750.18,"endTime":1753.45,"body":"Oh, wow, yeah, that was actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1750.18,"endTime":1753.45,"body":"quite late and laden with bias."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1753.6299999999999,"endTime":1757.23,"body":"Now, the colleague who made"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1753.6299999999999,"endTime":1757.23,"body":"these comments, I think, had did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1757.23,"endTime":1762.12,"body":"not have the self awareness. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1757.23,"endTime":1762.12,"body":"to know that that's how those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.12,"endTime":1765.0,"body":"comments were coming off, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1762.12,"endTime":1765.0,"body":"that she was sort of exhibiting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1765.27,"endTime":1768.78,"body":"some, some racial bias. So I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1765.27,"endTime":1768.78,"body":"think it's not just self"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1768.78,"endTime":1771.75,"body":"awareness, I noticed most of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1768.78,"endTime":1771.75,"body":"these types of lack empathy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1772.17,"endTime":1776.43,"body":"They don't understand how their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1772.17,"endTime":1776.43,"body":"behaviors landing on the person,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.0,"endTime":1782.37,"body":"like bias type, is you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1777.0,"endTime":1782.37,"body":"perceive the pain you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.37,"endTime":1786.78,"body":"creating, or how the cringe or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.37,"endTime":1786.78,"body":"whatever it is, the other person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.78,"endTime":1789.03,"body":"is back. Well, and how many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.78,"endTime":1789.03,"body":"times have you heard in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.03,"endTime":1791.8799999999999,"body":"response, and this is actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1789.03,"endTime":1791.8799999999999,"body":"when I asked when I did talk to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.8799999999999,"endTime":1794.67,"body":"this colleague, this was the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.8799999999999,"endTime":1794.67,"body":"response I got, which was, Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.67,"endTime":1798.42,"body":"that wasn't my intention. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.67,"endTime":1798.42,"body":"right, that's just the clear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.42,"endTime":1801.6,"body":"lack of empathy of like, well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1798.42,"endTime":1801.6,"body":"it in a way, your attention"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.6,"endTime":1804.66,"body":"doesn't really matter. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.6,"endTime":1804.66,"body":"what landed was this, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1804.66,"endTime":1808.83,"body":"did cause harm, you did cause"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1804.66,"endTime":1808.83,"body":"stress and anxiety with that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1808.83,"endTime":1814.17,"body":"comment. And you did, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1808.83,"endTime":1814.17,"body":"violate a sense of inclusion for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.2,"endTime":1818.8799999999999,"body":"that, that people feel welcome"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1814.2,"endTime":1818.8799999999999,"body":"and comfortable. In, in this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1818.94,"endTime":1822.51,"body":"team or in this workplace. One"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1818.94,"endTime":1822.51,"body":"of the hallmarks of a high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1822.51,"endTime":1823.77,"body":"performing team,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.85,"endTime":1828.72,"body":"my colleague, Vanessa dress cat"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1824.85,"endTime":1828.72,"body":"has found is a sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1828.72,"endTime":1834.06,"body":"belonging. And a lot of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1828.72,"endTime":1834.06,"body":"types are telling you in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.06,"endTime":1836.79,"body":"different ways you don't belong."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1834.06,"endTime":1836.79,"body":"That's right. And I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.79,"endTime":1842.28,"body":"that's, they erode psychological"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.79,"endTime":1842.28,"body":"safety, they erode a sense of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.28,"endTime":1845.94,"body":"belonging. Right? They, so it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1842.28,"endTime":1845.94,"body":"not and that's really if you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.94,"endTime":1849.6299999999999,"body":"a manager, you have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.94,"endTime":1849.6299999999999,"body":"responsibility to act on some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1849.6299999999999,"endTime":1849.99,"body":"these be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.02,"endTime":1853.92,"body":"Hey viewers some of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1850.02,"endTime":1853.92,"body":"archetypes because you even just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1853.92,"endTime":1857.52,"body":"one person on the team who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1853.92,"endTime":1857.52,"body":"displays some of these actions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.52,"endTime":1862.2,"body":"or these characteristics can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1857.52,"endTime":1862.2,"body":"really quickly make that sense"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.2,"endTime":1865.65,"body":"of belonging evaporate. Well,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1862.2,"endTime":1865.65,"body":"having said that, let's pivot to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1865.65,"endTime":1869.4,"body":"what you can do. We're not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1865.65,"endTime":1869.4,"body":"helping. Yeah, we're out of a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.4,"endTime":1873.66,"body":"system. And if one part of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1869.4,"endTime":1873.66,"body":"system changes very often, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.66,"endTime":1876.12,"body":"will reverberate through the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1873.66,"endTime":1876.12,"body":"whole system, you talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.54,"endTime":1880.17,"body":"principles to get along with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.54,"endTime":1880.17,"body":"anyone. Tell us about some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.17,"endTime":1883.2,"body":"those. Yeah, we've been talking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.17,"endTime":1883.2,"body":"about some of them, just to sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.2,"endTime":1886.32,"body":"of tangentially already. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.2,"endTime":1886.32,"body":"one of I'll point out a couple"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.32,"endTime":1891.6299999999999,"body":"that I really, that I find quite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.32,"endTime":1891.6299999999999,"body":"useful is one is that your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.6299999999999,"endTime":1894.45,"body":"perspective is just one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.6299999999999,"endTime":1894.45,"body":"perspective, right? That there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.87,"endTime":1898.47,"body":"there, you do have to remember"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.87,"endTime":1898.47,"body":"the way you're seeing the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.47,"endTime":1903.21,"body":"situation is influenced by who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1898.47,"endTime":1903.21,"body":"you are, and by you or where you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1903.21,"endTime":1907.68,"body":"sit, and your upbringing and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1903.21,"endTime":1907.68,"body":"background and identity factors."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1907.68,"endTime":1912.12,"body":"And so you may see someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1907.68,"endTime":1912.12,"body":"behaving passive aggressively,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.12,"endTime":1915.48,"body":"and just say, that is absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.12,"endTime":1915.48,"body":"inappropriate, right? That's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.48,"endTime":1919.32,"body":"acceptable behavior. And someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1915.48,"endTime":1919.32,"body":"might say, actually, no, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.32,"endTime":1922.23,"body":"has worked really well for me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.32,"endTime":1922.23,"body":"And, you know, I'm, I'm from a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1922.23,"endTime":1925.29,"body":"culture where we don't address"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1922.23,"endTime":1925.29,"body":"conflict directly. And so this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1925.29,"endTime":1929.58,"body":"is one way to actually get my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1925.29,"endTime":1929.58,"body":"needs met. And so you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.58,"endTime":1933.69,"body":"remember that there's this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1929.58,"endTime":1933.69,"body":"concept in social psychology"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.69,"endTime":1936.96,"body":"called naive realism, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.69,"endTime":1936.96,"body":"that we believe when we want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.99,"endTime":1940.5,"body":"that the way we say things is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.99,"endTime":1940.5,"body":"right. And if someone disagrees"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.5,"endTime":1942.87,"body":"with us, they're clearly wrong."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1940.5,"endTime":1942.87,"body":"Right? There's no other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1942.87,"endTime":1946.56,"body":"explanation. So one of the key"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1942.87,"endTime":1946.56,"body":"things when getting along with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.56,"endTime":1950.1299999999999,"body":"people or dealing with someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1946.56,"endTime":1950.1299999999999,"body":"who's causing you stress or, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.1299999999999,"endTime":1952.86,"body":"know, having you're having a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1950.1299999999999,"endTime":1952.86,"body":"negative dynamic with is to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1952.86,"endTime":1956.91,"body":"remind yourself, there are other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1952.86,"endTime":1956.91,"body":"ways to see this other than your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1956.91,"endTime":1960.48,"body":"viewpoint, right, try to try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1956.91,"endTime":1960.48,"body":"develop some of that empathy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.11,"endTime":1964.83,"body":"certain, certainly social"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1961.11,"endTime":1964.83,"body":"awareness of what's the context"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.83,"endTime":1968.55,"body":"in which you're, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.83,"endTime":1968.55,"body":"interacting in. You know, one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.55,"endTime":1972.54,"body":"the other principles I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.55,"endTime":1972.54,"body":"point out, is experimentation."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1972.54,"endTime":1976.47,"body":"And I think this is really, this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1972.54,"endTime":1976.47,"body":"pulls on a lot of the emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.47,"endTime":1982.32,"body":"intelligence competencies of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1976.47,"endTime":1982.32,"body":"trying out solutions. So I share"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1982.32,"endTime":1986.07,"body":"a lot of tactics based on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1982.32,"endTime":1986.07,"body":"each of the archetypes is to try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.1299999999999,"endTime":1989.94,"body":"one of the tactics and try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1986.1299999999999,"endTime":1989.94,"body":"commit to trying it for two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.94,"endTime":1993.96,"body":"weeks or a month. See how, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1989.94,"endTime":1993.96,"body":"example, give an example. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.02,"endTime":1997.41,"body":"yeah. So let's, let's say with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.02,"endTime":1997.41,"body":"the passive aggressive peer, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.41,"endTime":2001.85,"body":"example, you've had no luck in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1997.41,"endTime":2001.85,"body":"getting them to actually follow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.85,"endTime":2004.7,"body":"through on the things they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2001.85,"endTime":2004.7,"body":"commit to in meetings. Right. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.7,"endTime":2008.15,"body":"you might agree that you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2004.7,"endTime":2008.15,"body":"going to apply a little positive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2008.21,"endTime":2012.83,"body":"peer pressure. And as a team set"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2008.21,"endTime":2012.83,"body":"up norms, right, and you don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2012.83,"endTime":2015.29,"body":"have to be the leader of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2012.83,"endTime":2015.29,"body":"team, you can be anyone on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.29,"endTime":2017.96,"body":"team who says, you know, I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.29,"endTime":2017.96,"body":"thinking we should we should"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.96,"endTime":2021.32,"body":"agree on how we want to follow"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2017.96,"endTime":2021.32,"body":"through on commitments we make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2021.32,"endTime":2025.34,"body":"in the meeting, and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2021.32,"endTime":2025.34,"body":"let's agree that we'll write it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2025.34,"endTime":2029.42,"body":"down, we'll share the email"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2025.34,"endTime":2029.42,"body":"afterwards. And when someone's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2029.42,"endTime":2033.68,"body":"not able to do that they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2029.42,"endTime":2033.68,"body":"required to, to speak up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2033.68,"endTime":2037.7,"body":"say, I can't do it. Right. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2033.68,"endTime":2037.7,"body":"you might try that for a month"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2037.7,"endTime":2040.25,"body":"and see, does that actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2037.7,"endTime":2040.25,"body":"change your passive aggressive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2040.37,"endTime":2045.05,"body":"behavior, your peers behavior?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2040.37,"endTime":2045.05,"body":"Or does that just sort of fall"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2045.05,"endTime":2049.13,"body":"through, they continue to not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2045.05,"endTime":2049.13,"body":"show up to the meeting, or they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2049.13,"endTime":2052.64,"body":"continue not to follow through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2049.13,"endTime":2052.64,"body":"on what they committed to? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2052.64,"endTime":2056.2400000000002,"body":"which case? Okay, so now, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2052.64,"endTime":2056.2400000000002,"body":"question is, Okay, that didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2056.2400000000002,"endTime":2060.4100000000003,"body":"work. What's another tactic? I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2056.2400000000002,"endTime":2060.4100000000003,"body":"can try? And again, another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2060.4100000000003,"endTime":2064.31,"body":"example for for someone who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2060.4100000000003,"endTime":2064.31,"body":"says, oh, yeah, I'll do that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2064.31,"endTime":2067.67,"body":"And then and then never follows"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2064.31,"endTime":2067.67,"body":"through is you can actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2067.7000000000003,"endTime":2071.87,"body":"address that directly, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2067.7000000000003,"endTime":2071.87,"body":"and say, you know, you've said"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2071.87,"endTime":2075.65,"body":"three times that you'll do this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2071.87,"endTime":2075.65,"body":"each time you don't, what do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2075.65,"endTime":2078.86,"body":"need in order to follow through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2075.65,"endTime":2078.86,"body":"on your commitments, right? And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2078.86,"endTime":2080.84,"body":"again, with the passive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2078.86,"endTime":2080.84,"body":"aggressive person who say that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2080.84,"endTime":2083.33,"body":"you might say, Oh, if I can find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2080.84,"endTime":2083.33,"body":"out, no, I don't need you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2083.51,"endTime":2087.4700000000003,"body":"but you're trying out different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2083.51,"endTime":2087.4700000000003,"body":"tactics, learning what you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2087.4700000000003,"endTime":2090.4700000000003,"body":"find them seeing what works, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2087.4700000000003,"endTime":2090.4700000000003,"body":"then pivoting what I see too"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2090.4700000000003,"endTime":2094.82,"body":"often. And I've done this myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2090.4700000000003,"endTime":2094.82,"body":"is the someone tries something,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2094.85,"endTime":2098.03,"body":"right? They say, Oh, well, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2094.85,"endTime":2098.03,"body":"have this, let's, let's say the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2098.03,"endTime":2101.36,"body":"political operator, right? I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2098.03,"endTime":2101.36,"body":"tried to agree on sharing crab,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.36,"endTime":2103.91,"body":"we're going to share credit at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2101.36,"endTime":2103.91,"body":"the beginning of the project so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2103.91,"endTime":2107.24,"body":"that they don't steal credit at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2103.91,"endTime":2107.24,"body":"the end. Right? And they say and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2107.24,"endTime":2109.43,"body":"it didn't work. So then they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2107.24,"endTime":2109.43,"body":"just throw up their hands and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2109.43,"endTime":2112.31,"body":"they're like, I'm like, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2109.43,"endTime":2112.31,"body":"well, you tried one thing. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2112.31,"endTime":2115.31,"body":"tried it one thing once. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2112.31,"endTime":2115.31,"body":"let's let's think about what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.31,"endTime":2118.55,"body":"else you can try. Because these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2115.31,"endTime":2118.55,"body":"are, these are iterative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2118.55,"endTime":2122.75,"body":"interactions that you need to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2118.55,"endTime":2122.75,"body":"you need to learn from try out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.23,"endTime":2127.91,"body":"you know, experiment with in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2123.23,"endTime":2127.91,"body":"book, you quote, Viktor Frankl,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.33,"endTime":2132.5,"body":"talking about widening the gap"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2128.33,"endTime":2132.5,"body":"between stimulus and response"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2132.5,"endTime":2136.07,"body":"and other psychologists have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2132.5,"endTime":2136.07,"body":"defined maturity as lengthening"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2136.07,"endTime":2139.85,"body":"the gap between your impulse to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2136.07,"endTime":2139.85,"body":"act and what you actually do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2140.27,"endTime":2143.6,"body":"And in school programs where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2140.27,"endTime":2143.6,"body":"they're teaching these skills."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2144.53,"endTime":2148.4,"body":"There's a poster was developed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2144.53,"endTime":2148.4,"body":"by Roger Weisberg at Yale years"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2148.4,"endTime":2150.02,"body":"ago. The poster two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2150.02,"endTime":2153.92,"body":"It picks a stoplight. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2150.02,"endTime":2153.92,"body":"says, when you're upset,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2153.95,"endTime":2157.7,"body":"remember the stoplight red"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2153.95,"endTime":2157.7,"body":"light, stop calm down and think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.7,"endTime":2161.42,"body":"before you act, yellow light,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.7,"endTime":2161.42,"body":"think of a range of things you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2161.42,"endTime":2164.33,"body":"could do and what the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2161.42,"endTime":2164.33,"body":"consequences would be green"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2164.33,"endTime":2167.03,"body":"light, pick the best one and try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2164.33,"endTime":2167.03,"body":"it out. And I think the advice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2167.03,"endTime":2171.32,"body":"you're giving is a variation on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2167.03,"endTime":2171.32,"body":"this. And not only that, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2171.62,"endTime":2175.94,"body":"giving people the gift of here's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2171.62,"endTime":2175.94,"body":"six things you can try. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.97,"endTime":2179.09,"body":"yes. Well, and here's six and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2175.97,"endTime":2179.09,"body":"then keep track, right? What did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2179.09,"endTime":2182.93,"body":"I try? What didn't work, right?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2179.09,"endTime":2182.93,"body":"And you're learning like, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.99,"endTime":2187.73,"body":"you have growth mindset is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2182.99,"endTime":2187.73,"body":"fundamental in implementing any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2187.73,"endTime":2191.12,"body":"of this, because you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2187.73,"endTime":2191.12,"body":"remember, you have to both have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2191.12,"endTime":2194.42,"body":"a growth mindset about yourself,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2191.12,"endTime":2194.42,"body":"right? I can learn I can try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2194.42,"endTime":2197.54,"body":"different tactics, I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2194.42,"endTime":2197.54,"body":"integrate the behaviors that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2197.54,"endTime":2200.39,"body":"work, get rid of the ones that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2197.54,"endTime":2200.39,"body":"don't, but you also have to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2200.39,"endTime":2203.39,"body":"growth mindset about the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2200.39,"endTime":2203.39,"body":"person, the the willingness and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.39,"endTime":2207.8,"body":"belief that they're going to,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2203.39,"endTime":2207.8,"body":"they can change. And when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.8,"endTime":2210.98,"body":"believe that about someone, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2207.8,"endTime":2210.98,"body":"mean, I think we, we both have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2210.98,"endTime":2214.19,"body":"seen this, I'm sure in our work,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2210.98,"endTime":2214.19,"body":"when you believe that about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2214.19,"endTime":2219.59,"body":"someone, it does change the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2214.19,"endTime":2219.59,"body":"dynamic, right? If you if I'm so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2219.59,"endTime":2223.31,"body":"sad, if you and I interact in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2219.59,"endTime":2223.31,"body":"and I'm so sad, I'm full, he's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2223.31,"endTime":2227.03,"body":"just he that's how he is. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2223.31,"endTime":2227.03,"body":"it's not gonna you know what,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.06,"endTime":2230.63,"body":"nothing I can do will change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2227.06,"endTime":2230.63,"body":"that. Right? You feel that in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2230.63,"endTime":2233.33,"body":"that interaction, you feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2230.63,"endTime":2233.33,"body":"pigeon holed, you feel stuck,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2233.33,"endTime":2237.53,"body":"you feel underestimated. If I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2233.33,"endTime":2237.53,"body":"approach that conversation, even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.53,"endTime":2241.28,"body":"just in my mind, saying, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.53,"endTime":2241.28,"body":"sure why Dan's behaving the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2241.28,"endTime":2246.32,"body":"he is, but I bet I bet he could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2241.28,"endTime":2246.32,"body":"change if the circumstances"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2246.32,"endTime":2249.2,"body":"change, it's going to be a much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2246.32,"endTime":2249.2,"body":"more open collaborative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2249.2599999999998,"endTime":2252.65,"body":"interaction. I think that's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2249.2599999999998,"endTime":2252.65,"body":"really important point about the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2252.65,"endTime":2256.25,"body":"concept of a growth mindset,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2252.65,"endTime":2256.25,"body":"it's both you can change what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.25,"endTime":2259.79,"body":"the other person can change to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2256.25,"endTime":2259.79,"body":"be both have the potential."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2260.87,"endTime":2263.81,"body":"And because if you don't have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2260.87,"endTime":2263.81,"body":"that view, then nothing can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2263.81,"endTime":2267.86,"body":"change. That's right, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2263.81,"endTime":2267.86,"body":"actually need to return who I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.89,"endTime":2270.35,"body":"interviewed. She's a professor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.89,"endTime":2270.35,"body":"at London Business School, she I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2270.35,"endTime":2273.23,"body":"interviewed her for the book on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2270.35,"endTime":2273.23,"body":"the biased coworker. And she has"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2273.23,"endTime":2277.37,"body":"some research that shows that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2273.23,"endTime":2277.37,"body":"the growth mindset really helps"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2277.37,"endTime":2280.61,"body":"when you're challenging folks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2277.37,"endTime":2280.61,"body":"who are committing biased"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.64,"endTime":2284.84,"body":"comments. Because if you point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2280.64,"endTime":2284.84,"body":"out someone who's made a bias"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2284.84,"endTime":2287.63,"body":"comment, if you point it out,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2284.84,"endTime":2287.63,"body":"and you don't have any"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2287.63,"endTime":2292.58,"body":"expectation that they'll change,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2287.63,"endTime":2292.58,"body":"then you're basically shaming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2292.58,"endTime":2295.7,"body":"them punishing them. But if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2292.58,"endTime":2295.7,"body":"you've if you have the mindset"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2295.7,"endTime":2298.61,"body":"that they can actually grow and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2295.7,"endTime":2298.61,"body":"learn from the experience,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.73,"endTime":2302.33,"body":"you're much more likely to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.73,"endTime":2302.33,"body":"approach that conversation in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2302.33,"endTime":2305.36,"body":"way of, well, how do we do this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2302.33,"endTime":2305.36,"body":"differently next time, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2305.36,"endTime":2309.2,"body":"giving you room to learn and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2305.36,"endTime":2309.2,"body":"grow. And it's so important,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2309.2,"endTime":2312.11,"body":"particularly around if we want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2309.2,"endTime":2312.11,"body":"people to change their bias"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.11,"endTime":2316.52,"body":"behavior, giving them the room"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2312.11,"endTime":2316.52,"body":"to learn from their mistakes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2316.7599999999998,"endTime":2321.11,"body":"You mentioned three kinds of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2316.7599999999998,"endTime":2321.11,"body":"knee jerk reactions that make"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.11,"endTime":2324.47,"body":"things worse, not better in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2321.11,"endTime":2324.47,"body":"these situations. One of which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2324.47,"endTime":2325.37,"body":"is shaming people."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2326.5099999999998,"endTime":2331.13,"body":"The other which are retaliating."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2326.5099999999998,"endTime":2331.13,"body":"Which, of course, we often"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2331.16,"endTime":2334.97,"body":"reflexively think well, maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2331.16,"endTime":2334.97,"body":"that'll help. And then the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2334.97,"endTime":2336.59,"body":"theory of suppressing what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2334.97,"endTime":2336.59,"body":"you're feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2337.82,"endTime":2341.63,"body":"about each and why it makes it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2337.82,"endTime":2341.63,"body":"worse to me is the there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.63,"endTime":2342.86,"body":"difference between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2344.18,"endTime":2349.25,"body":"pointing out someone's mistakes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2344.18,"endTime":2349.25,"body":"and then make versus making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2349.25,"endTime":2353.63,"body":"someone feel like their mistake"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2349.25,"endTime":2353.63,"body":"is inherent to who they are. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.87,"endTime":2358.43,"body":"if you if you tell a know it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.87,"endTime":2358.43,"body":"all, like you know, you act,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2358.61,"endTime":2362.09,"body":"your blustery, you act so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2358.61,"endTime":2362.09,"body":"competent, like if you're you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2362.09,"endTime":2365.12,"body":"pointing out like this is a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2362.09,"endTime":2365.12,"body":"human flaw with you, as opposed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2365.12,"endTime":2369.89,"body":"to you're exhibiting behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2365.12,"endTime":2369.89,"body":"that's having this impact on me."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2370.04,"endTime":2372.8,"body":"All right. Very big difference"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2370.04,"endTime":2372.8,"body":"between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2373.85,"endTime":2378.65,"body":"when you act confidently and lay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2373.85,"endTime":2378.65,"body":"out all the facts without room"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2378.65,"endTime":2382.52,"body":"for disagreement, it shuts down"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2378.65,"endTime":2382.52,"body":"the conversation. Right. As"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2382.52,"endTime":2385.82,"body":"opposed to your No at all. Who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2382.52,"endTime":2385.82,"body":"makes us all feel horrible?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2385.88,"endTime":2389.96,"body":"Right? Yeah. Such a such a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2385.88,"endTime":2389.96,"body":"difference. So and people we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2389.96,"endTime":2392.99,"body":"know, we know from research,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2389.96,"endTime":2392.99,"body":"Brene Brown has reached this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2392.99,"endTime":2396.02,"body":"This has been there's been a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2392.99,"endTime":2396.02,"body":"about this. It's like we know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2396.02,"endTime":2400.07,"body":"people don't aren't inspired to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2396.02,"endTime":2400.07,"body":"change motivated to change. When"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2400.07,"endTime":2403.25,"body":"they feel shame. They're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2400.07,"endTime":2403.25,"body":"actually inspired to double down"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2403.25,"endTime":2406.16,"body":"on the behavior or hide from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2403.25,"endTime":2406.16,"body":"from the behavior."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.48,"endTime":2412.25,"body":"Remind me what the second one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2407.48,"endTime":2412.25,"body":"was? retaliated? Yes. So this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2412.25,"endTime":2414.23,"body":"is, this is my instinct."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2415.67,"endTime":2419.39,"body":"When we talk about the space"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2415.67,"endTime":2419.39,"body":"between stimulus and response,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2419.75,"endTime":2423.44,"body":"when my student this space is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2419.75,"endTime":2423.44,"body":"very short, my instinct is how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2423.44,"endTime":2427.61,"body":"do I get back? Right? And how do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2423.44,"endTime":2427.61,"body":"I dish out exactly like I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2427.61,"endTime":2431.72,"body":"going to show them how bad it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2427.61,"endTime":2431.72,"body":"feels to have like a snarky"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2431.72,"endTime":2435.23,"body":"email show up in my inbox at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2431.72,"endTime":2435.23,"body":"eight 830 At night, right? I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2435.23,"endTime":2438.38,"body":"just going to show but when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2435.23,"endTime":2438.38,"body":"take a deep breath, I realized,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2438.38,"endTime":2441.08,"body":"right, that you're just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2438.38,"endTime":2441.08,"body":"encouraging the same behavior"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2441.17,"endTime":2445.4,"body":"over and over, right and it's an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2441.17,"endTime":2445.4,"body":"in your modeling. I mean, part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2445.4,"endTime":2449.72,"body":"of encouraging people to change"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2445.4,"endTime":2449.72,"body":"is modeling a different way of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2449.72,"endTime":2450.02,"body":"inter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2450.02,"endTime":2453.14,"body":"After. And I think a lot of when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2450.02,"endTime":2453.14,"body":"we talk about what's in your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2453.14,"endTime":2459.02,"body":"control, your ability to show,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2453.14,"endTime":2459.02,"body":"this is how I hope we can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2459.02,"endTime":2462.74,"body":"interact, this is how I want us"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2459.02,"endTime":2462.74,"body":"to interact in the way you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2462.74,"endTime":2466.7599999999998,"body":"respond is so much more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2462.74,"endTime":2466.7599999999998,"body":"motivating and encouraging for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2466.7599999999998,"endTime":2468.68,"body":"the other person to change."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2469.7,"endTime":2473.78,"body":"Then there's suppressing your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2469.7,"endTime":2473.78,"body":"feelings. Yeah. And the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2473.78,"endTime":2476.5099999999998,"body":"suppression the I mean, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2473.78,"endTime":2476.5099999999998,"body":"research on suppression is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2476.57,"endTime":2480.17,"body":"fascinating to me. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2476.57,"endTime":2480.17,"body":"there's, there's one study that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2480.17,"endTime":2482.99,"body":"shows that emotional suppression"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2480.17,"endTime":2482.99,"body":"isn't only bad for you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2482.99,"endTime":2486.38,"body":"physically, but it actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2482.99,"endTime":2486.38,"body":"suppresses leaders who suppress"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2486.62,"endTime":2490.52,"body":"the heart rates of the people in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2486.62,"endTime":2490.52,"body":"the room while they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2490.52,"endTime":2494.45,"body":"suppressing are going up. Right."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2490.52,"endTime":2494.45,"body":"So they were actually it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2494.45,"endTime":2500.12,"body":"contagious, the negative impact"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2494.45,"endTime":2500.12,"body":"of suppressing our emotions. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2500.12,"endTime":2504.05,"body":"the truth is, anyone can relate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2500.12,"endTime":2504.05,"body":"to the idea that not only"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2504.05,"endTime":2506.48,"body":"suppression, we know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2504.05,"endTime":2506.48,"body":"suppression, instinctively, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2506.48,"endTime":2510.77,"body":"can understand why that's bad."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2506.48,"endTime":2510.77,"body":"But also, it's just going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2510.77,"endTime":2514.37,"body":"come out another way, right,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2510.77,"endTime":2514.37,"body":"you're gonna lash out at some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2514.37,"endTime":2518.39,"body":"point, you're gonna, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2514.37,"endTime":2518.39,"body":"let you're gonna boil over, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2518.39,"endTime":2521.9,"body":"gonna you're gonna take it out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2518.39,"endTime":2521.9,"body":"on your partner, or on someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2521.9,"endTime":2525.59,"body":"at work, who you actually like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2521.9,"endTime":2525.59,"body":"you know, you're laughing in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.59,"endTime":2527.33,"body":"way that makes me think you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.59,"endTime":2527.33,"body":"relate to that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2529.0099999999998,"endTime":2532.25,"body":"I was thinking about check it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2529.0099999999998,"endTime":2532.25,"body":"out on your pet. That might Yes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2532.28,"endTime":2535.55,"body":"right? Like, I mean, and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2532.28,"endTime":2535.55,"body":"truth is, we most often take it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2535.55,"endTime":2540.44,"body":"out on ourselves in terms of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2535.55,"endTime":2540.44,"body":"sleepless nights, eating poorly,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2540.83,"endTime":2544.73,"body":"you know, you know, just sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2540.83,"endTime":2544.73,"body":"the negative physical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2545.54,"endTime":2549.38,"body":"ramifications of, of stress. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2545.54,"endTime":2549.38,"body":"yeah, we might take it out on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.38,"endTime":2551.99,"body":"our backs, we might take it out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.38,"endTime":2551.99,"body":"on every, you know, people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2551.99,"endTime":2556.7,"body":"around us. So the suppressing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2551.99,"endTime":2556.7,"body":"the, the the like, I will just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2557.27,"endTime":2561.68,"body":"endure this, this negative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2557.27,"endTime":2561.68,"body":"relationship or all endure this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2561.68,"endTime":2566.12,"body":"bad behavior from this person is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2561.68,"endTime":2566.12,"body":"just not a good, it's not a good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2566.12,"endTime":2571.19,"body":"approach. So the question is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2566.12,"endTime":2571.19,"body":"how not to suppress your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2571.19,"endTime":2574.55,"body":"negative feelings, but not act"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2571.19,"endTime":2574.55,"body":"on them in a destructive way?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2574.82,"endTime":2577.22,"body":"That's right. I mean, that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2574.82,"endTime":2577.22,"body":"heartbreak. How do you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.25,"endTime":2581.0,"body":"because it does feel like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2577.25,"endTime":2581.0,"body":"choice of? Well, I just will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2581.0,"endTime":2583.67,"body":"ignore these are all we often"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2581.0,"endTime":2583.67,"body":"hear people say I'll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2583.67,"endTime":2586.88,"body":"compartmentalize them, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2583.67,"endTime":2586.88,"body":"sometimes compartmentalizing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2586.88,"endTime":2592.31,"body":"them actually is just stuffing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2586.88,"endTime":2592.31,"body":"them away? Or can I just act on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2592.31,"endTime":2594.65,"body":"them? And that's where you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2592.31,"endTime":2594.65,"body":"really need that, that mental"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2594.65,"endTime":2600.47,"body":"space, and by yourself the time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2594.65,"endTime":2600.47,"body":"you need to do what we were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2600.47,"endTime":2603.89,"body":"referring to earlier of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2600.47,"endTime":2603.89,"body":"problem solving. Right? So not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2603.89,"endTime":2607.46,"body":"the rumination where you get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2603.89,"endTime":2607.46,"body":"built up and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2607.46,"endTime":2612.23,"body":"encourage the negative emotion,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2607.46,"endTime":2612.23,"body":"but actually take some time to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2612.23,"endTime":2615.32,"body":"think through okay, what is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2612.23,"endTime":2615.32,"body":"scene about me? What is the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2615.32,"endTime":2619.07,"body":"scene about the way I interact?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2615.32,"endTime":2619.07,"body":"How if I was going to be my best"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2619.07,"endTime":2623.15,"body":"self in the situation, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2619.07,"endTime":2623.15,"body":"would I choose to do? Well, on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2623.15,"endTime":2626.24,"body":"that note, what would you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2623.15,"endTime":2626.24,"body":"recommend to people for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2626.24,"endTime":2629.57,"body":"maintaining their own well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2626.24,"endTime":2629.57,"body":"being, when they go to work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2629.57,"endTime":2633.44,"body":"every day was someone who just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2629.57,"endTime":2633.44,"body":"drives him crazy. Yeah. Number"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2633.44,"endTime":2636.08,"body":"one, make connections with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2633.44,"endTime":2636.08,"body":"people you like, there's got to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2636.08,"endTime":2640.52,"body":"be people, if you are, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2636.08,"endTime":2640.52,"body":"I have I work in a place where I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2640.55,"endTime":2642.89,"body":"love most of the people I work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2640.55,"endTime":2642.89,"body":"with."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2643.91,"endTime":2647.45,"body":"And yet, when I have a difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2643.91,"endTime":2647.45,"body":"interaction, that's the thing I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2647.45,"endTime":2650.96,"body":"think about I'm not thinking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2647.45,"endTime":2650.96,"body":"about the really kind, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2651.38,"endTime":2655.25,"body":"Slack message I got from someone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2651.38,"endTime":2655.25,"body":"about, you know, a meeting that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2655.25,"endTime":2659.0,"body":"went well, I'm not thinking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2655.25,"endTime":2659.0,"body":"about the smiles people gave me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2659.0,"endTime":2661.88,"body":"in the hallway or on the Zoom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2659.0,"endTime":2661.88,"body":"calls, right? Like I'm focusing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2661.88,"endTime":2666.14,"body":"on like, what, like, why did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2661.88,"endTime":2666.14,"body":"that person, you know, challenge"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2666.14,"endTime":2668.72,"body":"my idea in front of everyone,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2666.14,"endTime":2668.72,"body":"right? Yeah, I get really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2668.72,"endTime":2671.42,"body":"focused on the negative. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2668.72,"endTime":2671.42,"body":"really, you want to lean into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2671.42,"endTime":2674.96,"body":"the positive? What, what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2671.42,"endTime":2674.96,"body":"positive connections do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2674.96,"endTime":2680.36,"body":"have, and really try to remind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2674.96,"endTime":2680.36,"body":"yourself 90% of my interactions"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2680.36,"endTime":2683.93,"body":"at work are great, right? Like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2680.36,"endTime":2683.93,"body":"that, or even sometimes with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2683.96,"endTime":2687.23,"body":"with some of these archetypes,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2683.96,"endTime":2687.23,"body":"90% of your interactions with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2687.23,"endTime":2691.22,"body":"that person are great. And it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2687.23,"endTime":2691.22,"body":"just 10% of the time, where it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2691.22,"endTime":2696.02,"body":"really challenging. So trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2691.22,"endTime":2696.02,"body":"focus, not sugarcoat, but focus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2696.05,"endTime":2701.33,"body":"on what's actually going working"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2696.05,"endTime":2701.33,"body":"well for you. You know, I also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2701.39,"endTime":2706.16,"body":"it and I think you also have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2701.39,"endTime":2706.16,"body":"be very, very careful around you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2706.16,"endTime":2708.53,"body":"know, if, especially if you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2706.16,"endTime":2708.53,"body":"dealing with someone like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2708.53,"endTime":2713.42,"body":"political operator or tormentor,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2708.53,"endTime":2713.42,"body":"that you're documenting some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2713.42,"endTime":2716.48,"body":"the behavior because if it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2713.42,"endTime":2716.48,"body":"going to change, you don't want"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2716.48,"endTime":2719.6,"body":"to let it damage your your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2716.48,"endTime":2719.6,"body":"career. And I think that's also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2719.66,"endTime":2724.1,"body":"a positive steps you can take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2719.66,"endTime":2724.1,"body":"is, okay, I've tried to improve"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2724.1,"endTime":2727.61,"body":"this dynamic. I've tried to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2724.1,"endTime":2727.61,"body":"to make things better with this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2727.61,"endTime":2732.53,"body":"person, and it hasn't worked. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2727.61,"endTime":2732.53,"body":"how do I protect myself in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2732.71,"endTime":2733.37,"body":"career?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2734.87,"endTime":2738.71,"body":"And then also, I would say, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2734.87,"endTime":2738.71,"body":"know, one of my favorite tactics"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2738.71,"endTime":2742.79,"body":"is, at the end of the day, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2738.71,"endTime":2742.79,"body":"person has to wake up as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2742.79,"endTime":2746.39,"body":"themselves, which seems pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2742.79,"endTime":2746.39,"body":"miserable, and I get to wake up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2746.39,"endTime":2749.99,"body":"as me and it's just, it sounds"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2746.39,"endTime":2749.99,"body":"really rude."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2750.02,"endTime":2753.71,"body":"In mean, but it's a way of just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2750.02,"endTime":2753.71,"body":"saying like, No, I'm excited I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2753.71,"endTime":2757.34,"body":"get to, I'm making good choices"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2753.71,"endTime":2757.34,"body":"about how I want to interact and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2757.34,"endTime":2761.57,"body":"how I want to behave. And I feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2757.34,"endTime":2761.57,"body":"I've feel some sympathy for that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2761.57,"endTime":2764.99,"body":"person that they have to wake"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2761.57,"endTime":2764.99,"body":"up. You know, they're miserable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2764.99,"endTime":2765.62,"body":"sounds."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2766.639,"endTime":2769.339,"body":"I know, I know, it sounds awful."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2766.639,"endTime":2769.339,"body":"But it just for me, it gives me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2769.339,"endTime":2773.089,"body":"the emotional distance I need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2769.339,"endTime":2773.089,"body":"from that difficult person."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2774.23,"endTime":2776.99,"body":"Do you have any tactic, Stan"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2774.23,"endTime":2776.99,"body":"that you use to sort of protect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2776.99,"endTime":2780.05,"body":"yourself from some of these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2776.99,"endTime":2780.05,"body":"folks? You know, I'm an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2780.11,"endTime":2784.1,"body":"industrial strength meditator, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2780.11,"endTime":2784.1,"body":"find it helps me calm down and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2784.1,"endTime":2788.27,"body":"be focused, despite what's going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2784.1,"endTime":2788.27,"body":"on. I've had some, I had one guy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2789.23,"endTime":2794.84,"body":"who was a terrible boss, one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2789.23,"endTime":2794.84,"body":"your times. And that really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2794.84,"endTime":2796.79,"body":"helped me because I still had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2794.84,"endTime":2796.79,"body":"be productive."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2797.84,"endTime":2801.2,"body":"Or I could stay calm and focus."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2797.84,"endTime":2801.2,"body":"But I want to say, Amy, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2801.2,"endTime":2804.47,"body":"such a pleasure talking to you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2801.2,"endTime":2804.47,"body":"Thank you for coming on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2804.47,"endTime":2807.95,"body":"podcast, the name of the book,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2804.47,"endTime":2807.95,"body":"everyone. And I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2807.95,"endTime":2812.39,"body":"recommended getting along how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2807.95,"endTime":2812.39,"body":"work with anyone, even difficult"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2812.39,"endTime":2817.85,"body":"people. And Amy Gallo will show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2812.39,"endTime":2817.85,"body":"you exactly how. Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2817.85,"endTime":2820.94,"body":"much, Dan, this has been a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2817.85,"endTime":2820.94,"body":"pleasure. Yeah, it'd be a great"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2820.94,"endTime":2824.6,"body":"pleasure. I hope we can continue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2820.94,"endTime":2824.6,"body":"to do stuff. Yeah, I would love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2824.6,"endTime":2827.57,"body":"that. And thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2824.6,"endTime":2827.57,"body":"the kind words about the book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2827.57,"endTime":2830.03,"body":"and the blurb and every all of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2827.57,"endTime":2830.03,"body":"your support. I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2830.03,"endTime":2830.81,"body":"appreciate it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2832.16,"endTime":2832.79,"body":"Thank you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2841.13,"endTime":2845.12,"body":"How did things go at the RMV? By"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2841.13,"endTime":2845.12,"body":"the way, it's awful. Thank you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2845.12,"endTime":2849.8,"body":"They could use a lot of advice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2845.12,"endTime":2849.8,"body":"from you. I do feel like I feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2849.8,"endTime":2853.34,"body":"like I could probably do like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2849.8,"endTime":2853.34,"body":"live taping from an r\u0026b about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2853.37,"endTime":2856.7,"body":"all the archetypes. I'm sure you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2853.37,"endTime":2856.7,"body":"saw all eight of them today in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2856.7,"endTime":2860.18,"body":"your Yeah, I mean, their passive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2856.7,"endTime":2860.18,"body":"aggressive their tormentor."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2861.41,"endTime":2862.82,"body":"It's all there. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2864.41,"endTime":2865.91,"body":"the pessimist like Yeah."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2867.17,"endTime":2869.96,"body":"Anyway, it was excruciating."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2867.17,"endTime":2869.96,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2880.37,"endTime":2883.88,"body":"That's it for this episode of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2880.37,"endTime":2883.88,"body":"first person plural. Special"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2883.88,"endTime":2887.21,"body":"thanks to our guests, Amy Gallo."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2883.88,"endTime":2887.21,"body":"Once again, her book is called"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2887.21,"endTime":2890.5099999999998,"body":"Getting along how to work with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2887.21,"endTime":2890.5099999999998,"body":"anyone even difficult people."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2891.14,"endTime":2894.53,"body":"You can get it wherever books"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2891.14,"endTime":2894.53,"body":"are sold. We also have the link"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2894.53,"endTime":2897.11,"body":"in our show notes on our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2894.53,"endTime":2897.11,"body":"website, first person"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2897.11,"endTime":2901.13,"body":"plural.com. While you're there,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2897.11,"endTime":2901.13,"body":"you can check out our guest BIOS"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2901.13,"endTime":2903.95,"body":"transcripts and resources"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2901.13,"endTime":2903.95,"body":"mentioned in today's episode,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2904.31,"endTime":2908.3,"body":"and you can also follow us on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2904.31,"endTime":2908.3,"body":"Instagram at Keystep media. If"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2908.3,"endTime":2911.06,"body":"you enjoyed our discussion with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2908.3,"endTime":2911.06,"body":"Amy Gallo, check out some of our"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2911.06,"endTime":2913.85,"body":"past interviews. A recent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2911.06,"endTime":2913.85,"body":"interview with Claire Kane"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2913.85,"endTime":2916.34,"body":"Miller about the mental health"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2913.85,"endTime":2916.34,"body":"of students is great for this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2916.34,"endTime":2919.79,"body":"back to school season. Daniel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2916.34,"endTime":2919.79,"body":"Goleman hosted today's episode"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2919.82,"endTime":2923.24,"body":"Bryant Johnson is our artists"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2919.82,"endTime":2923.24,"body":"and residents Zarina Kardon does"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2923.24,"endTime":2928.0099999999998,"body":"marketing. Our music is by Gus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2923.24,"endTime":2928.0099999999998,"body":"beats. And I'm Carrie see this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2928.0099999999998,"endTime":2931.55,"body":"podcast is sponsored by Keystep"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2928.0099999999998,"endTime":2931.55,"body":"media, your source for personal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2931.55,"endTime":2934.64,"body":"and professional development"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2931.55,"endTime":2934.64,"body":"materials focused on mindfulness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2934.7,"endTime":2937.61,"body":"leadership and emotional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2934.7,"endTime":2937.61,"body":"intelligence. Take care of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2937.61,"endTime":2938.96,"body":"yourself and we'll talk soon"}]}