Transcribed by Descript
Erin Marcus: All right. Hello, and welcome to this episode of the Ready Yet podcast. My guest today, Diane Halbig. I'm excited. We have too much fun laughing at ourselves, because that's all you can do. Otherwise, what's your other option, really? But I can't wait to share your insights and everything with the world and Your approach to it, because I think you do have to have fun with all this so that you don't, go crazy.
Erin Marcus: So before we get into all that, why don't you tell everyone who you are, what you do all the,
Diane Helbig: I am Diane Helbig. I am a business advisor and trainer. So short story is I advise small business owners to get the nonsense out of their way. And I train everybody on sales and soft skills. Love it.
Erin Marcus: I, and I have a hard time with this idea that they call it soft skills.
Erin Marcus: It makes me because it minimizes its importance.
Diane Helbig: Oh. And maybe
Erin Marcus: that's just me projecting hard assness instead of ease and flow and grace. It is what it is, right? But when I hear the term soft skills, to me that makes it sound as a nice to have. Instead of the fact that it is a half death.
Diane Helbig: That's so interesting.
Diane Helbig: See the same word, different meaning, different context. That's very interesting. Yeah, I get that. I never would have looked at it that way before, but I get it now, which is going to be tough for me.
Erin Marcus: Now I've screwed. Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it. I have ruined it for you.
Diane Helbig: So true. I'm screwed.
Erin Marcus: Screwed that up for you. But so we were chatting before we hit record here about, as we're trying to be like, okay, what can we really hone in on to share that would have an impact, and this is something we've both seen over and over again, we talk about it a lot. I'm sure it's tripped us up ourselves over and over again.
Erin Marcus: That's why we're here. This idea of people being worried and fearful and add 700 other synonyms and to sales and being salesy. Yes. So what are you watching happen? Oh, you can just leave it at that. I
Diane Helbig: get it. I totally agree with you. So I'm watching a couple of things. I'm watching a lot of actually a lot of women.
Diane Helbig: There's some men, but a lot of women who will call me up. Like they will say to me, I don't want to be salesy. I don't want to be pushy. I don't want to seem like I'm manipulating. I don't want to be this whole person. I just don't like the whole idea. And what I say to them is, good, don't. Because it doesn't work.
Diane Helbig: You don't like it. They don't like it being done to them. Can we just knock it off? So I just thought of something. Yeah. Because
Erin Marcus: I just made a connection. I just had an aha moment. Ooh. I received, this is the downside of what you're talking about. So when you feel that way, and I also have that conversation a lot.
Erin Marcus: When you're so anti sales and now we add in AI tools that make you think you could program nine auto prompts that would result in somebody saying, here, take my 10, 000. This is where we have problems and I say that because I got the other day. I got a text message. This business has sent me nine text messages of one every other day for the last several weeks because I bought a ticket to an expo a year ago, hadn't heard from them, but they got an AI tool and they put me in their autobot.
Erin Marcus: I don't even know what they do for a living. I'll never, I will never hire them. But the one that had me going was the one the other day that came in, I guess you're too busy. I'm going to leave you alone for two weeks. And I'm like, Oh, be still my heart. I'm not Thank you. But so when we combine.
Diane Helbig: Yeah.
Erin Marcus: Autobot AI technology that makes people believe it can sell for you. And on the other hand, people who have fears and a lack of soft skills that are both unfounded.
Diane Helbig: Disaster. It is an absolute. You are so right. It is an absolute disaster. We have to let go of. A lot of this nonsense, and part of the problem is we're still watching people behave badly. Yes. Like at networking events, and when they reach out to us, and all this ridiculousness. And so we still have this feeling that we're supposed to behave that way.
Diane Helbig: And it, because no one's stepping and looking and saying, okay, but is that working? Oh my god, I reply to them, by the
Erin Marcus: way, what, they won't answer me. When I get the hey girl, hey messages on Facebook, I'll reply and say, I gotta know, I'm totally being honest here, you look adorable, I actually use the product you're selling, I get it from someone else.
Erin Marcus: Who's teaching you that this works? I really want to know what are your numbers? And nobody will tell me.
Diane Helbig: Because it doesn't. It doesn't. It's so weird. It's really, it blows my mind that people will continue to engage in this behavior. And I don't know, it's a feel good, someone told him that the more business cards you collect, the better you're doing
Erin Marcus: or, and I try to come from empathy because a lot of these people are not seasoned business owners.
Erin Marcus: So I try to come from empathy. Somebody is teaching them this and truthfully. Okay. So the tagline for this podcast is you'll never do what it takes until you become the person it takes to do it.
Diane Helbig: Ooh, I love that.
Erin Marcus: This is what we're talking about. You, right? You have to become the person who got over your money issues because there's nothing wrong with money.
Erin Marcus: There are zero things wrong with money. You got to get over your visibility issue. Like you have if this is where you're stuck, you haven't done the inner work. Yes.
Diane Helbig: Yes. That's exactly right. You have to know that whatever it is you're selling has value, right? That it has worth. That there is a dollar amount attached to that, and that's okay.
Diane Helbig: There's a dollar amount attached to everything, right? And then, I, for me, it's, if you think about, okay, your job is not to convince someone that they need what you have to sell. Your job is to have a conversation with someone and learn as much as you can about them, and then if there's a connection, tell them what the connection is.
Diane Helbig: Because it'll make sense to them and you'll both walk down the same road, right? But this other, I don't know. They have the wrong
Erin Marcus: definition, right? They just have the wrong definition of sales. Too many people believe sales is something you do to somebody to manipulate them and convince them to give you money.
Erin Marcus: And as soon as you see sales as taking instead of giving.
Diane Helbig: You're screwed. You're screwed. Which is why you don't want to do it. Who would? Who would want to do that? Exactly. Yeah. Okay, we get it. I understand you don't want to do it. I don't want to do it either. Don't.
Erin Marcus: Then just don't do it. So what do I know what I give it advice.
Erin Marcus: What do you tell people to start that ball rolling in a different direction?
Diane Helbig: I tell them to let go of the whole idea of selling to not to switch from being in sales mode to being in curious mode. So really your job is to learn. That's it. Period. It's not to sell something. It's to learn. You, when you go to a networking event, you want to learn about a couple of people when you, and then follow up with them and relationship build when you're in, when you're prospecting.
Diane Helbig: All you want is a meeting so that you can have a conversation. You're not trying to make a sale. So it's turning that whole, all those things that are bothering people. It's saying, okay, stop doing it. Cause it's bad. It doesn't work. You don't want it done to you. So just flip it around and just say, I'm just curious.
Diane Helbig: I would just like to get to know you. Because. That's really all you're doing, because you don't know whether you want to sell to them, or whether you have something they need, right? They could be a jerk, right? Maybe you
Erin Marcus: don't want them. What I like that you're doing, and interestingly enough, I've seen a correlation with some mindset work that I've been on, working on.
Erin Marcus: So it, it used to be, I would see a lot of people who taught sales mindset, try to help people change their definition of sales. And I agree, you write like sales as a servant and I get it, the constant space repetition of changing the subconscious programming. It's neuroscience. I totally get it.
Erin Marcus: But what your approach is to say, rather than try to take several decades of subconscious programming
Diane Helbig: and
Erin Marcus: flip it in a minute, what if I just labeled it and said it was something else? And made it
Diane Helbig: easy. And it really is. So it's interesting that you say that. Because really, what I'm talking about is tactical.
Diane Helbig: Because the mindset will change. It'll follow. It'll change your behavior. 100%. So what I'm, what I try and say to people is, Just let it go. Just don't sell. Just let it go. Just do this instead. Engage in this behavior. Do this thing. It's more natural. It's more comfortable. It's more appealing to other people.
Diane Helbig: Just do this.
Erin Marcus: And one of the things that I always tried to do in my last business, I had a job working with families with aging parents and that we would help them downsize. And there was a lot of times when I would go on a consultation, the word was completely left for a second, when I would go on a consultation, it would be a situation where I would call, there was no job for me to get, meaning it was too small of a situation.
Erin Marcus: It didn't make sense for them to hire me, but not wanting to leave. Not wanting to say, sorry, you're not worth my time and I'm not worth your money. I just created a leave behind that had all the resources that I actually used. And to me, that's a huge sales tool to have at my ready, all the people I might refer you to if I'm not the right fit.
Diane Helbig: Yeah. And so what's so great about that is that really is a giving mindset. And. You get referrals from those people. Oh, they're your raving
Erin Marcus: fans.
Diane Helbig: Yeah, because you were honest, you were giving, you didn't leave them high and dry, but I'm not the best resource for you, but here's some. Yeah, I had
Erin Marcus: several charities that would do pickups if they knew I would vet it.
Erin Marcus: And I'd be like, here's his number. You call him and said, Aaron said yes. Yes. And he knows he'll come out and do it. Yeah. He knows I won't steer. And they were the nicest, most grateful. They always gave my name out to everybody.
Diane Helbig: Absolutely. Like you don't have to pay me. You're going to do right by people.
Diane Helbig: Yeah. That's exactly what it's about. If you want to be in business for the long haul, just treat people well, care about them, help them problem solve, whether it has to do with you or not. Just, be in their corner. I had a woman say to me she's so funny. She read my book and then she actually implemented what I, God forbid, but one person actually do something with it.
Diane Helbig: And she's telling me about it as we're walking into an event and I'm looking at her like, wow, you actually did that. That's like amazing. Anyway, then later I was talking to her and she said, you know what? I just say to myself. Those aren't my dollars. I know, right?
Erin Marcus: This, right? Because think of it, how much energy, this was one of the things somebody showed me once.
Erin Marcus: And I'm like, Oh my God, you're right. How much energy does it take to let go of something? Nothing to open your hand. It takes no energy. How much energy does it take to chase and grasp and hold on so tight
Diane Helbig: and try and create something that's never going to be there. And she just. She, I even wrote an article about it because she was like, I just say to myself, those are not my dollars.
Diane Helbig: And so it is liberating. She's
Erin Marcus: nicer than I am. I say not my circus, not my monkey.
Diane Helbig: Okay. There is that, but that's when you don't want to deal with those people.
Erin Marcus: Not my dollars. And one of the things that I, the words that I used to, I want. To do enough in my marketing, education based marketing and relationship building, so that once we are having any kind of conversation about officially working together, it's a confirmation conversation, not a convincing conversation.
Diane Helbig: Like
Erin Marcus: you, you do this way before you get on that phone.
My belief is give away everything, right? Because the people who you want to do business with are going to read it or see it or, whatever. And they're going to say, wow, that person really knows me. That person really knows their stuff.
Diane Helbig: I want to work with that person. And those are the people you're talking to anyway.
Erin Marcus: And there, there is from a sales strategy perspective, I always figured that also leaves them with the feeling of, Oh my God, if she did this for me for free, what will she do if I pay her? Right,
Diane Helbig: yeah. But see, that's understanding value.
Diane Helbig: Yeah. Understanding worth. Understanding everyone is not a target market, right? You're not going to do business with everybody. You don't want to do business with everybody. What you're trying to do is figure out who your people are.
Erin Marcus: I was just watching a video Kyle Cease. He wrote The Illusion of Money.
Erin Marcus: I love his stuff. And he was talking about the difference between butterflies and caterpillars. And he said it took him a long time to realize I'm a butterfly looking for other butterflies. I'm not looking for caterpillars to try to convince them to be butterflies. I'm looking for, right? I thought that was, cause there's nothing wrong with being a caterpillar.
Erin Marcus: No! It doesn't make anyone right or wrong. I'm just a butterfly looking for butterflies. He said caterpillars are very happy being caterpillars.
Diane Helbig: Absolutely.
Erin Marcus: I don't have to force them to become a butterfly, so that they fit me.
Diane Helbig: But see, isn't that's the thing. People have been trained to believe that their job is to convince.
Diane Helbig: I've had people say to me if I could just convince them, how do I convince them that they need this? Like you don't. You don't
Erin Marcus: want to work with those people. That was the most freeing aha moment for me in sales. And it happened completely by accident. So in that last business, I was going on a consultation And I walked into a house with a woman who was like instant rapport.
Erin Marcus: She was so adorable. She, we were just laughing. It was almost like, hanging out with a friend I hadn't seen in forever. And when we finally sat down to talk about what we were going to talk about, all I said to her, because we were in that mode was, all right, what's going on. And that was, I'm like, That was the most fun I've ever had, because normally I would try to get this person to sit down, and then I would go into my monologue, having never barely bothered to ask them anything except their name, right?
Erin Marcus: The wrong one. And how freeing was it, once I stopped, this was the thing. Because I have a journalism degree, because I have an MBA in marketing, I was convinced. Because I'm semi articulate, I was convinced, very wrongfully that there was something if I could just figure out what to say, I could, quote, get them to buy from me.
Erin Marcus: And now I don't worry about it.
Diane Helbig: You don't, so you are more confident, more centered, more approachable, more connective. Because that is not the thing hanging over your head. Because that's about you. Exactly. It was all about me. Exactly. We have to flip it around. And what I tell people is, guess what?
Diane Helbig: The more you're talking, the less they're listening. Because you're not talking about anything that matters to them. So they have tuned you out. So all this great whatever you're doing is falling on deaf ears. Okay.
Erin Marcus: And what is it? Ask a better question, right? Yes. Just ask a better question.
Diane Helbig: Just ask a question for God's sake.
Diane Helbig: Just ask a, listen, there's a lot of questions you need to ask. The mistake people make is they don't ask any questions. They walk in and they just start. They just start.
Erin Marcus: And some of that is nerves and some of that is such an, here's my theory. There's two things that will screw you up in life, whether it's your relationships, your money, your business.
Erin Marcus: your health, insecurity, and desperation.
Diane Helbig: Yeah.
Erin Marcus: If you're insecure, you're not going to be confident enough. And if you're desperate for the sale, yes, you're gonna screw it. So whether you're picking a partner or a job or a dog, insecure, desperation,
Diane Helbig: that's what they say, right?
Diane Helbig: So if you're dating, stop looking to get married and you'll find the perfect match, right? And you'll have fun doing it because you won't be on the hunt,
Erin Marcus: right? Attached to that outcome. What can I get?
Diane Helbig: Exactly. This is what we do.
Erin Marcus: And here's the thing. I say this with all the empathy because when you're trying to pay the bills and get your ball I get it and people, it's hard to let go of the story you think is going to work to try something that has unforeseen results for you and believe that's actually a shorter path.
Diane Helbig: Absolutely. And you still have to ask yourself the question is what I'm doing working. And that's a big question because do I have clients I can't stand? Do I have people who are beating me up over price so I'm going through this whole value game in my head? Do I hate it when the phone rings and it's them?
Diane Helbig: We, there's a lot to is it working or is it not working? So my, what I say is you get to choose how you spend your time. You can send it, you can spend it being productive or you can spend it being active. I prefer productivity and the things that we're talking about. Honestly, if you continue to do what you're doing and you're not getting the results you want, here's the other problem with it.
Diane Helbig: You're actually telling the universe that's what you want. So that's what you're going to get.
Erin Marcus: I love how you said active versus productive. I have to shoot my video yet, but there is this woodpecker and he's very pretty and I love him dearly and his new found pastime is about five 30 in the morning.
Erin Marcus: To attack full on the metal flashing around the top of my chimney. I will tell you he is very active. He is very active. He is making a lot of racket. He is getting a lot of attention. He is getting zero bugs.
Erin Marcus: He's gonna
Diane Helbig: starve to death that
Erin Marcus: way. He's going to starve
Diane Helbig: to death. Okay.
Erin Marcus: But it's right, it's so true. It doesn't matter how big and loud and beautiful and all of the things. Do not confuse active with productive.
Diane Helbig: Do not, because you will starve to
Erin Marcus: death. You will starve to death. Luckily, I put a feeder out there.
Erin Marcus: I know
Diane Helbig: you're so nice. There's other ways.
Erin Marcus: Right here, just turn her out. For humans.
Diane Helbig: And when we're selling, seriously. And so it's, it, which creates more desperation, which creates more, it's more, nonsense. So just flip the script a little bit. The mindset will follow mindset changes, take longer, just try different activities, try different steps and see, try different words and see how it works.
Diane Helbig: And I'm telling you, and this. You will notice that you will have more joy and more results because you will be connecting with the right people at the right time who will value you and what you bring to the table.
Erin Marcus: So how did you get involved in this world? How did this become your thing?
Diane Helbig: Oh my gosh. In, so I was always in small business, first leadership, then sales. My father was a salesman, very successful. And In late 2005, he passed away suddenly and I decided I needed to be the victim of my own decisions, not the victim of someone else's. So I just did some research and thought, you know what, this is what I need to do.
Diane Helbig: And the reason why I launched my business was because I was so tired of watching small business owners struggle with selling. With operations with employee issues with whatever it was. And I just thought this is criminal. They don't have to be going through this. And I watched someone actually in a sales appointment, beg for the work after the person had said, yes.
Diane Helbig: And I thought. That breaks my heart. So I decided, this is, this was my mission in life was to flip the script and help people change the way they were behaving really, so they were getting, so they could get the results they want.
Erin Marcus: Love it. So random questions. What are you most proud of in all of this?
Diane Helbig: In all of this or in all of life?
Erin Marcus: Either way, go bigger either way.
Diane Helbig: My, the thing I'm most proud of is my children, my adult children because they are incredible humans. And I'm hoping I had something to do with it.
Erin Marcus: You never know, as we were discussing aging parents earlier.
Diane Helbig: True, we'll see.
Diane Helbig: My son already thinks that he's already got the plan. So he's in his 20s and he already he told my husband and I that he has the plan that we're going to go live in his house because it's, one story and. Yeah, he's got the whole, and my husband and I just look at each other and go, did we ask him to do this?
Erin Marcus: When did you give, you gave birth to a high D, high C?
Diane Helbig: Oh my God. It's so weird. Like he's got this whole thing planned out and we're like, we're not leaving this house. You will when you can't climb the stairs. It's okay. When do you think that's happening? I'm not addled yet. I think we can probably figure it out.
Diane Helbig: Anyway, anyway. God bless him. He cares. In this work, I think the thing I am most proud of is watching the people I've worked with really grow and try new things and succeed at new things and realize that they really have the ability to solve their problems.
Erin Marcus: I say that a lot when I think about what I get to do and who I get to work with, who gets to do this?
Diane Helbig: Right? I know. Who
Erin Marcus: gets to do that? I
Diane Helbig: know. My favorite thing is that I have a client who said to me, I, you sit, this is what she says to me all the time. You sit on my shoulder and I just asked myself, what would Diane say? And then I do it. And I just thought, okay, mission accomplished.
Diane Helbig: Because if I'm in your head, that means you've learned the things that, and you can problem solve on your own. That's the goal that you can do this. Love it.
Erin Marcus: Love
Diane Helbig: it.
Erin Marcus: Absolutely. So if people want to continue this conversation with you and learn more how you can help them, how do they find you?
Diane Helbig: The easiest way is to go to HelbigEnterprises. com because everything's there.
Erin Marcus: Marketing 101 single easy call to action. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You win. I laugh because sometimes when I interview people, they rattle off phone numbers and things like that. And that's just not knowing, right?
Erin Marcus: Yeah. How big
Diane Helbig: enterprises.
Erin Marcus: And it's all there. Yeah, it's all there. And we'll make sure we have it in the show notes so that you're just a click away from everybody. Thank you for hanging out with me for a while. I love having these conversations. I absolutely agree with you it's heartbreaking to see brilliant people who want to be of service get stuck on something that doesn't have to cause them this much hate.
Erin Marcus: Yes,
Diane Helbig: exactly.
Erin Marcus: I totally agree with you. I love it. That's why we're
Diane Helbig: here.
Erin Marcus: That's
Diane Helbig: why we're here.
Erin Marcus: Thank you. Thank you.