Baby Bird

Ever tried battling a fly the size of a quarter while attempting to taste craft beer? Welcome to our world. This episode takes an unexpected turn as we're invaded by what might be the largest house fly in recorded history, transforming our beer tasting into an impromptu insect safari.

Between swats and near-misses, we manage to properly evaluate two exceptional brews. First up is Biker's Brewhouse Blue Balls – a blueberry ale (4.7% ABV, 10 IBU) from Youngstown, Ohio that delivers subtle fruit notes reminiscent of blueberry cereal. Located beside a Harley Davidson store, this brewery captures the spirit of the road in every can. The verdict? A solid 8.5/10 that would score even higher if served ice-cold.

Our second contender comes from Distill Brewery in Normal, Illinois – a place so beautiful it looks like they host weddings between brewing sessions. Their Torbus double dry-hopped hazy IPA (7.4% ABV, 25 IBU) showcases citra and mosaic hops in an award-winning formula. The juicy initial flavor gives way to an intensely dry finish that divides opinions but earns respect. We crown it with a 9/10, just shy of perfection due to that desert-like aftermath on the palate.

Between tastings, we share stories from our recent golf triumph (including a legitimate birdie!), weekend shenanigans at a wedding shower, and the peculiar challenges of maintaining a camper. There's also an unexpected detour into the horrifying world of truck driver bathroom habits that you absolutely didn't ask for but now can't unhear.

Join us for craft beer adventures, birthday celebrations, and the ongoing saga of man versus fly. And remember – if someone with a car held together by bungee cords can get a date, there's hope for us all.

Chapters

• 0:00 Episode Introduction and Beer Wench
• 1:29 Biker's Brewhouse Blue Balls Review
• 6:53 The Great Fly Chase
• 11:18 Golf and Weekend Recap
• 24:53 Distill Brewery Torbus IPA Review
• 32:57 Ricky's Bad Choices and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Episode Introduction and Beer Wench

Speaker 2 0:08

Thank you welcome back to another show. This is your hostess with mostest cream pie. No, I mean cream pie who?

Speaker 1 0:38

you cream pie and are you eating it? No, you're eating the cream pie. You are, yeah, you're eating the cream pie and you are, you're eating the cream pie. This is Princess and I'm here with your hostess Mostess. Ricky Rick is in the cream pie.

Speaker 2 0:54

Anyways, I don't know. I just keep calling on the hostess with the mostess.

Speaker 1 0:58

Yeah, the cream pie one wasn't good.

Speaker 2 1:01

It was not good.

Speaker 1 1:03

You might want to stay away from that I give them all day, all day oh, hop on halban arrow. We did that. Yeah, we did that. We did it.

Speaker 2 1:11

Anyways, we're jumping ahead, yeah yeah, because beer wench was like oh excited, but anyways, um she's all over the screen. Tonight we got a special tonight tonight tonight tonight. That's like an 80s song or something, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:26

Isn't that, phil Collins?

Biker's Brewhouse Blue Balls Review

Speaker 2 1:28

Yeah, yeah, I think so. I like Phil Collins, I don't mind him His music, yeah, his art In the air tonight.

Speaker 1 1:38

Except for studio or whatever the fuck. He don't even say he hates that song.

Speaker 2 1:45

That was his upbeat one, but anyways, we're doing Biker's Brewhouse. It's Blue Balls, blueberry, it's 4.7 and it's IBU of 10. We're going to do that one. That's kind of a local right out of Youngstown Ohio.

Speaker 1 2:00

And we got a Distill Brewery out of Distilled. Oh, this wasn't the one out of Michigan, was it no?

Speaker 2 2:14

We were looking Me and Rick were looking for beers.

Speaker 1 2:16

Yeah, we were looking for all kinds of beers. I cannot read where this is out of, but it is out of. It's called Torbus.

Speaker 2 2:27

It's a double dry hopped hazy ipa we're gonna do that on the second citra and mosaic hops so we'll do that in a second. We'll bring that up, we'll get more information, but first we're going to do this. Uh, biker's brew house, but beer wench brought it up and one of the beers on there was a habanero pepper infused ale, which we did before, which I don't remember what we scored that before I thought we scored it kind of high.

Speaker 1 2:53

I mean, it wasn't, it was a, it wasn't a 10. No, but for a heat wise, I think we were like eight nine absolutely the smell, I don't know.

Speaker 2 3:06

You smell the blueberry, but you also smell the ale. You know how ale can have a funny smell, kind of like a weedish. The first sip. You know what I think of blueberry cereal.

Speaker 1 3:19

Illinois blueberry cereal so the other one was from Illinois.

Speaker 2 3:30

We got to pick that up.

Speaker 1 3:36

Bear Wentz's voice got really deep. He's from Illinois.

Speaker 2 3:46

I swear she has balls. I think so.

Speaker 1 3:49

No, I don't think so you don't. I don't think she has any.

Speaker 2 3:56

But yeah, this Biker Brewhouse, it looks real cool. It's right next to a Harley Davidson store. Yes, so that's where they play off the name.

Speaker 1 4:05

They're actually in it.

Speaker 2 4:06

Or yeah.

Speaker 1 4:07

Or they're attached. Yeah, they're attached, or whatever. Yeah, yeah, we did this once before.

Speaker 2 4:11

Yeah, they have bands down there, because Kat's been down there. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 4:16

She went to school with them, yeah.

Speaker 2 4:17

Yeah, yeah, she went to school. She knows him personally, she knows. Yeah, she's going to smack the shit out of you, I know.

Speaker 1 4:26

That's why she loves me. That's where that cream pie went. Oh no, there he is. I got him. Hold on a minute.

Speaker 2 4:32

Rick's going to get this fly that's bugging us.

Speaker 1 4:34

I got to get this fly. Hold on, yeah.

Speaker 2 4:36

He's approaching. He's approaching hole nine. As he walks closer to the whole nine, he swings, oh and it took off and he missed. This is kind of like Rick's golf game. He's chasing it around the room. It is picking up speed. That motherfucker's picking up speed.

Speaker 1 4:54

He scared the fuck out of me. I went in my bathroom and this cocksucker landed on my Peter. And it was bigger huh, no, that's the problem he thought it was a log.

Speaker 2 5:06

He thought it was a log, he thought it was shit. Yeah, it smells like shit.

Speaker 1 5:10

Yeah, it smells like shit, I could sit here all day long.

Speaker 2 5:14

What are you sticking this into? I?

Speaker 1 5:16

thought they died after 24 hours. No, they're big.

Speaker 2 5:19

This was 17 days ago.

Speaker 1 5:22

That motherfucker's eating he's huge, he's finding food somewhere.

Speaker 2 5:26

He's eating the other ones.

Speaker 1 5:31

Well, I killed one earlier, and now there's this one.

Speaker 2 5:34

Oh, he's close to me.

Speaker 1 5:35

Dude, I'm going to look at my shotgun, my salt shotgun you got one of them. Yeah, one of them salt ones, yeah you shoot fucking flies with.

Speaker 2 5:45

They come in all different colors and sizes with dicks oh, that's oh, we're talking something else, yeah no, them little rifles, they do come in them pistols. I've seen a tv, the tv advertisement advertisement for it, and I was surprised.

Speaker 1 6:02

It was like 20 different oh yeah, yeah, I don't think I need a different color I just need they had like all kinds, like one, I don't know this fucking things I mean it's a bird it's close to a fucking baby bird. Fine, I'm like what the fuck is going on I think you're gonna need more than I'm gonna burn this place down.

Speaker 2 6:21

I know you want to. I'm getting ready to.

Speaker 1 6:25

And hopefully it melts the duct tape off the bed.

Speaker 2 6:30

And the handcuffs. And Ethan said what was it? He goes. Oh, you missed the opportunity when he was saying that he was throwing underwear up there, that you know, you think about the wet stain, but he said there might be also the shit stain.

The Great Fly Chase

Speaker 1 6:50

Yeah, the skin mark. You got to pick up on the skin mark, come on.

Speaker 2 6:55

Get away old chunky skin mark out there.

Speaker 1 6:58

That's why I painted all my ceilings brown. Can't see them, can't see them, and it drips down drip, drip in the middle of the night, like it's like that's why you got these flies, these birds it's her, she, her, she kisses.

Speaker 2 7:13

So I can just dripping they do look like yeah, yeah, yeah anyways this ain't so bad, is it?

Speaker 1 7:23

it's not bad, but there is no blueberry and there is there is there is very slight why don't?

Speaker 2 7:32

it says?

Speaker 1 7:32

I don't understand why we haven't found a blueberry sour, I'm there, probably is one. We just there, no I know like I'm just surprised because blueberries are kind of sour, yeah, and it's seasoned right now.

Speaker 2 7:47

You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 7:48

You could do a blueberry sour pretty easily yeah.

Speaker 2 7:52

I mean this does, because the IBUs being 10, it is very mild.

Speaker 1 7:55

Yeah, no, it's a good beer. Yeah, I would drink it all day long.

Speaker 2 8:00

Now would you put blueberries in it.

Speaker 1 8:01

I would.

Speaker 2 8:02

Yeah, I would muddle them a little bit. Now let me ask you this Caress it a little bit, caress it. There's Double Wing Brewery that makes that blueberry.

Speaker 1 8:11

Yes, the blueberry Kolsch.

Speaker 2 8:12

Yeah, what do you think between this? This is a little bit more milder.

Speaker 1 8:17

Milder.

Speaker 2 8:23

Yes, it depends on how much you like blueberries I think the blueberry Kolsch has a lot more blueberry flavor.

Speaker 1 8:32

This has a very slight on the back end and it is on the back end of it.

Speaker 2 8:36

It's very easy. I'm already going to say princess, just because.

Speaker 1 8:41

I could see women just sucking this down yep take it all.

Speaker 2 8:52

Here comes another cream pie.

Speaker 1 8:54

I'd, I would say I'd pour it down my chest, but and then the belly would just, it would just go, it'd be like a waterfall right across them it would shoot me in the eye. No, it would just go. It'd be like a waterfall right across them. It would shoot me in the eye.

Speaker 2 9:07

No, it would just go over their head.

Speaker 1 9:10

Yeah, It'd be like a water slide. She'd be trying to suck my hand like it at the same time and it would just shoot right over her head. She'd have to get 17 feet back.

Speaker 2 9:24

That's no fun.

Speaker 1 9:24

See my girl because she only has to get 17 feet back. That's no fun. See my girl, she only has to go 17 inches back, yeah that's what I was going to say.

Speaker 2 9:30

Now she only has to go 17 inches. Just take the tip. Uh-oh, you're going to get it. He's sitting there. I see him sitting over there.

Speaker 1 9:37

I see him, he's mocking me, dude. He's flipping you off right now. I know I see him when he's mocking me, dude, he's flipping you off right now, I know, I see him.

Speaker 2 9:43

When you were chasing him, he was actually picking up speed, yeah, speed, you see him.

Speaker 1 9:47

Yeah, he knew, dude, that's not a fucking regular fly. No.

Speaker 2 9:51

Rick was going around the table and the fly was staying right around the table.

Speaker 1 9:56

It's not a regular fly. Yeah, you wake up to that in the morning.

Speaker 2 10:05

It's, it's not a fun thing is he on your shit stains, dude.

Speaker 1 10:06

The first time I ever seen him, I fucking walked into my fucking bathroom just to brush my teeth in the morning I walk in and fucking this thing came like shooting at me. I thought it was a baby bird. I'm like what the fuck? Like what is going on here? I'm fucking dodging.

Speaker 2 10:18

I was like it's a fucking fly. Holy shit, it is big yeah it's big, I don't get it.

Speaker 1 10:26

I don't know. Evidently I need to fucking spray somewhere. I'm going to have to fucking close my place. We're going to have to shut the podcast down. We're going to have to put a tent. We're going to have to put a tent up. I'm going to just have to. I didn't realize living this close to the woods would be this much. It's like the insect is just over to he's fucking huge dude. As I look at him, he's. That's the biggest fly I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 10:52

Yeah, he's about the size of a quarter, because it's not a horsefly, because horseflies have brown wings, yeah, and they have like a shiny color.

Speaker 2 10:59

Yeah, yeah, I do not like he would have bit your ass on it, oh yeah, dude, you just suck my fucking dick dry.

Golf and Weekend Recap

Speaker 1 11:06

Then I'd call him back again because it'd swell up. I'd be like, yeah, I'd have a little fucking. I'd have him on a fucking fishing line, fucking underneath my bed, just meeting him raw meat every once in a while.

Speaker 2 11:19

Come here, buddy. Come bite my dick again. Put a little peanut butter on it.

Speaker 1 11:27

Make it swell up, make it look like I got a big cock. I need you, buddy, come here, my pet fly. You can almost keep him as a pet. He's fucking big enough. You might need a big cage.

Speaker 2 11:47

I'm a little nervous. He's going to bite me.

Speaker 1 11:50

No Cat's going to fall in love with you all over again. I go home, baby. Why's it got this little bump?

Speaker 2 11:58

Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 12:00

Watch this.

Speaker 2 12:01

Tickle tickle.

Speaker 1 12:03

Watch me go to pound town, oh my, so what'd?

Speaker 2 12:08

you do this week.

Speaker 1 12:10

A whole lot of nothing, dude, just fucking same old bullshit.

Speaker 2 12:15

Work, sleep, work, sleep work.

Speaker 1 12:18

Oh, we had Chad's, oh yeah that's right, maddie's, what do we? Call it Chaddy's, chad, chad's, oh yeah, maddie's. What do we call it? Chaddy's, chaddy's, chaddy's or Maddie's little thing? Sunday or Saturday.

Speaker 2 12:30

Her wedding.

Speaker 1 12:31

Wedding shower.

Speaker 2 12:33

Yeah.

Speaker 1 12:34

So that was good yeah it was good. That was a good time. It was very nice actually.

Speaker 2 12:38

It went actually pretty fast. Yeah, we went over to um to Mortal Keys.

Speaker 1 12:44

Yeah.

Speaker 2 12:46

And we lit a little fire. We just bullshitted.

Speaker 1 12:48

Had a good time.

Speaker 2 12:49

A little snacky snacks, had a good time.

Speaker 1 12:54

Sunday didn't do a whole lot, it went fast.

Speaker 2 12:57

Sunday was kind of nice. Yeah, it was nice.

Speaker 1 13:01

Dude, I replaced a couple of seals on the little camper. Oh yeah, recocked replaced a couple of seals on the little camper. Oh yeah, I re-cocked them, re-cocked them. You put cock in them.

Speaker 2 13:09

I fucking slipped my cock all over my windows. That was good to get that done. You did that Sunday, though, right, yeah, yeah, all day.

Speaker 1 13:18

Dude, that's a fucking pain in the dick.

Speaker 2 13:19

It was. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 13:21

That's a fucking pain.

Speaker 2 13:22

Like it's something you don't do every year.

Speaker 1 13:24

No, no, yeah, no, it's just like it's been a couple of years. You can tell. You know the silicone is getting dry. Did you? Were you able to remove that first and then put the new one down? Yes, yeah and yes that's absolutely yeah, yeah. So got up there and cocked all over the roof of it you're all over.

Speaker 2 13:59

yeah, I did go golfing on Saturday after the shower, right, and it was kind of a cold day, you remember.

Speaker 1 14:12

Yeah, it was chilly, it was a little bit around here.

Speaker 2 14:14

yeah yeah, it didn't really rain. It was raining a little bit in the morning and stuff. So we went out. When we got out there, the guy was like oh yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 14:23

Just you and your son, though it was just a father-son jerk-off session. Yeah, it was fun.

Speaker 2 14:29

And then we went out rolling around, but we had no one behind us, no one in front of us, no one even in view of us. When we were getting on there, we seen a couple people coming up 18. Never seen another person. Dude, that's the greatest time ever, yep and the sun came out, I took my jacket off and I was like, oh yeah, but it was a tough course. So no, but greens, but it was so nice.

Speaker 1 14:55

That's what's nice about it. You're out there by yourself. Go ahead, go ahead. You have all the time in the world yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 2 15:01

No one has a great time, me and your brothers fell into that. We went that one time where it was like the fall and we jamming. We hooked up the speakers, yeah we were back and forth.

Speaker 1 15:13

There was nobody around. Dude, that's a great time, it really is.

Speaker 2 15:17

It is.

Speaker 1 15:17

If you fucking duff it, you're like yeah, take another one. Yeah, no one cares.

Speaker 2 15:22

Whatever practice, but uh, we um. After that, we went over to um a wing place and we ate wings and we watched, um, uh, the basketball game. But the funny thing is is, when I walked in there, I asked, I went in there and I said I was thinking about something. Man that looks like the lady that works for me, you know, but I only seen the back of her hair oh, that, that's how you know her.

Speaker 1 15:43

Yeah, the back of her head. Yeah, no, I don't want to start that room. That's why you know her.

Speaker 2 15:51

I just leave it at that.

Speaker 1 15:52

Nope, nope, nope. People at work.

Speaker 2 15:55

I do not.

Speaker 1 15:56

But anyways, um, I didn't say well, I said I only seen the back of it. Yeah, you said it, you fell right into it. I fell right into it, just like she does.

Speaker 2 16:08

She trips right on it God, I hope you don't listen to this show.

Speaker 2 16:16

Anyways, I said to her, I said when I got to work, I said well, so we went in and I thought I'd seen her and I was like, and then we were looking for a spot. So we went in and I thought I seen her and, um, I was like, and then we were looking for a spot. So we went around to the backside and they had a couple spots but ethan's like hey, there's no tv over here. So when we came back around they were gone right and um, they were like, well, we'll clear some tables and stuff, so we ate and stuff. So when I got to work I said, hey, were you at the wing place? She was like, yeah, I said Saturday, yeah, I was like shit, I knew that was you. So it was her, it was her, yeah, her and her boyfriend and another friend.

Speaker 1 16:53

So you could have got an extra blowjob. No, I mean, you could have said hi. You could have said hi, yeah, could have had a beer with her, right, right. So anyways, we did that.

Speaker 2 17:08

Sunday, sunday, sunday. I don't remember what I did Sunday. It's weird I've been thinking about this lately and someone said it the other day because me and my brother went to get our beards cut and they just asked us hey, what beard did you do on podcast night? And I'm like I don't remember and it was funny because the short-term memory is like so much going on.

Speaker 1 17:29

I know it's killing. I gotta think about this podcast is absolutely killing us yes, it is slowly and surely 12 ounces of time or 16 because people will be like well, you just did that, did that.

Speaker 2 17:42

Like did I? I don't know. I think that fly just flew to your bedroom. He's waiting for you, I'm waiting for it.

Speaker 1 17:52

As soon as you fuckers get out of here. I'm gonna make that little thing squeal. Bite it bitch, Bite it Bite it again, but Rip its wings off, just let it climb. Bite it, bite it again, but Well, rip its wings off, just let it climb around on it. Where are you going now, you little bitch?

Speaker 2 18:14

It's terrible.

Speaker 1 18:15

I know Sorry.

Speaker 2 18:16

But I can't never remember. This show is killing us.

Speaker 1 18:18

No, yeah, no, beer wise.

Speaker 2 18:21

That's why it's getting so hard yeah well, you pointed out a beer when we were trying to get a podcast right, you said, hey, it was what dead man's curve, or yeah I know we haven't done that, I don't remember it, it's the can and it was a new distillery.

Speaker 1 18:36

It was like golden, something whatever or something, yeah, so I'll have to get that we. There actually was some more choices for there there was a couple there that we could grab that blueberry maple stout looked good that was out of Michigan. So we got to look that up too.

Speaker 2 18:56

Yeah, we might do that next week, but anyways, as far as we, and then you roll right into the work week, right, that's all we do, but Tuesday, tuesday, tuesday, tuesday, we as far as we, and then you roll right into the work week, right?

Speaker 1 19:07

but tuesday, tuesday, tuesday, tuesday, we were rolling in the money that day, us man, uh, we were smacking them yes, and we played golf and we were, we won, like so many holes and well, we did not that day, not that day, yeah, but we are over halfway paid.

Speaker 2 19:24

See, it just flew by you and you can hear it, I heard it it's like a fucking hummingbird you're gonna hear it on the podcast, then it goes in my pee hole.

Speaker 1 19:35

I'd hate for that thing to go in my pee hole.

Speaker 2 19:40

Oh yeah, fuck no. He ain't in my pee hole. Oh yeah, fuck, no. That's like.

Speaker 1 19:43

He ain't fitting my pee hole.

Speaker 2 19:45

So I'm good, I'm good, his little tongue won't no, no, no, I'm good. He's eyeballing you, you fucker. You got to kill him. He's creeping me out.

Speaker 1 19:55

Dude, he's creeping me the fuck out, quit it.

Speaker 2 19:59

Let's see. Okay, rick's going to try to go up and get him again. He's on the window, well, he's on this little figurine. I think he heard you, rick. He's got eyes everywhere. Oh, you missed him, get him, get him. Oh, oh it took three. He's on Rick's shoe.

Speaker 1 20:26

He took three swipes. Podcast is saved.

Speaker 2 20:29

Yes, we can focus now. Yes, that guy was creepy, though. No, he was, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 20:35

Dude, he's been creeping me out. Dude, he sits there and smokes my cigarettes.

Speaker 2 20:40

That's why they're going so fast. But what else? What else is going on? Nothing, pretty much. Huh, no, nah, we did good on golf previously we did.

Speaker 1 20:49

Our handicap went down it did by two and but we did good yeah, yeah, I birdied, I did, I did it all by myself, all by my lonesome. He didn't realize I was almost like I was in my bathroom, all by myself. I made a hole in one.

Speaker 2 21:08

You squirted it all in there.

Speaker 1 21:10

I didn't miss the toilet at all. I was all happy your housekeeper liked that. Normally I didn't hit the wall. Normally. I hit the wall, ceiling, whatever, the floor Usually the floor.

Speaker 2 21:23

That housekeeper will be appreciative Fucker.

Speaker 1 21:27

I don't want to. You can't? The fly camera is dead now. Maybe that was a male fly. That's why I needed to leave that thing alive.

Speaker 2 21:36

Yeah, we did good we did very good.

Speaker 1 21:39

We've been doing good.

Speaker 2 21:40

We've definitely improved. We just can't watch videos, we just we learn. Yes, we've learned. We can't watch golfing learning.

Speaker 1 21:49

We can't watch porn at the same time we're golfing.

Speaker 2 21:51

No, it don't work. Well, that might actually work, all right. Well, no cause then my dick gets in the way up. I haven't seen that yet. It does fuck his chippy, though, but anyways, uh, would you want to rate this? This blue balls? Sure you don't want to think of blue balls. You think of what? Not getting any sex? Well, yeah, you got blue balls.

Speaker 1 22:13

I got blue balls. Yeah. Have you ever had blue balls, dude?

Speaker 2 22:15

yes, I think we talked about this yeah it, yeah. No, it hurts, yes it, that is the most painful. Yeah, and normally I get more one side.

Speaker 1 22:25

It's worse than fucking getting kicked in the balls, yeah.

Speaker 2 22:28

Because it don't go away quick. No, no.

Speaker 1 22:30

It just aches, yeah, it aches, yep.

Speaker 2 22:33

So what do you think of blue balls? Now, this is going to be a kind of like a nail.

Speaker 1 22:38

Well, we already know that it's princess approved. Yes, I would definitely keep it. I'd keep it, I'd keep it and I'd give it a good nine eight and a half.

Speaker 2 22:51

Eight and a half is good. Eight and a half is yeah, I would give it eight and a half. Yeah, I'm with the eight and a half. I was thinking eight and a half because it's got good flavor. It's easy to get down. Yeah and a half because it's got good flavor. It's easy to get down. If I'm at that brewery, you could sit around.

Speaker 1 23:07

They threw a couple blueberries in it, I'd be a little better.

Speaker 2 23:12

The thing about this is, the colder would be better.

Speaker 1 23:15

Yes, we did pick it up and then our beer wench didn't put it in the fridge.

Speaker 2 23:20

Rick thought it was. I thought it was.

Speaker 1 23:22

An hour later, I didn't know, I in the fridge and Rick thought it was, I thought it was, and then an hour later I didn't know I had to do everything I mean she should be cleaning, yeah, killing these flies. I mean, she's not working.

Speaker 2 23:34

No, so she should be doing this whole thing. She was all day.

Speaker 1 23:37

I mean, at least she made dinner though. Yeah, she did, she did, she did make dinner, and that was a very good dinner.

Speaker 2 23:44

That, where'd that fly come from?

Speaker 1 23:46

Fucking kidding me. That's the brother, or did you not kill it? I don't know.

Speaker 2 23:50

No, I killed it, I don't know that one looks just as big.

Speaker 1 23:53

I don't know what's going on in my house? That one looks just as big you, I'm gonna burn that one took over for the other one.

Distill Brewery Torbus IPA Review

Speaker 2 24:00

Are you sure you might have not killed it? Oh, I see it on the bottom of your shit let's take a break okay, let's take a break, we'll be right back. You go get another ice cold one. We'll see. You got a nice ice cold one, like we do. We do, and uh, what is this called distill?

Speaker 1 24:58

it's distill brewery out of Normal Illinois. Normal Illinois Is it normal? It's not normal.

Speaker 2 25:05

But the place is very beautiful.

Speaker 1 25:08

Beautiful place Beautiful.

Speaker 2 25:10

And what we're doing is.

Speaker 1 25:11

We got a picture flipping through right now. It's just amazing.

Speaker 2 25:15

Oh, they got a red bird and this is a tour bus. Double dry hop hazy IPA. It was a beer winch. If you go back, it's 7.4 with 25 IBUs and it is a smash up between what they say like oats and wheat and with the citrus.

Speaker 1 25:36

I actually like this. Oh, it was a metal 21. Gold, the flavor on the back end. Oh, it was a metal. One Metal 21. Damn.

Speaker 2 25:44

Gold. Gold medal, gold medal winner. The flavor on the back end, that's the problem, though it comes full circle.

Speaker 1 25:53

So your first sip is like holy shit, this is really good.

Speaker 2 25:57

Let's keep it going and see what.

Speaker 1 26:04

To me. My first sip is like damn, that's really good, but then it gets that bitterness on the back just a little.

Speaker 2 26:07

That dry tongue.

Speaker 1 26:08

Yeah, yeah, it's actually, yeah, absolutely but I like it but it's good, it is really good. I can see why I won. Yeah, I could see. I can see why I won awards for sure. Yeah, this is really good yeah okay, okay, and the place is beautiful.

Speaker 2 26:23

It is beautiful. They look like they have weddings there, gourmet food, everything.

Speaker 1 26:28

So if you're ever in normal Illinois, you should probably stop. I would probably make a point. I would make a point If I was going through there, illinois. If I was going through Illinois, I'd be like no, there's a spot that we need to look at.

Speaker 2 26:46

But I love their logo there, that that mascot guy, the skull. They just put different hand band bandanas and yeah and his, yeah, his beard's the same color.

Speaker 1 26:57

They just showed another one yep, yeah, they're all the same kind of yeah yeah, bandana, that is cool.

Speaker 2 27:05

It's a beautiful place. Yeah, it's beautiful it is beautiful beautiful anyways any jokes.

Speaker 1 27:13

So uh, do you know, you say to a no armed girl, a norm girl?

Speaker 2 27:19

what do you mean? No, armed girl A girl that has.

Speaker 1 27:23

Do you know what you say to a girl that has no arms? Hold this.

Speaker 2 27:28

Nice tits. Nice tits, that's funny though.

Speaker 1 27:39

Oh my, you know, I don't care what you say about pedophiles. Yeah, dude, they do well under the speed limit at school zoos way under right at three o'clock when the bell rings.

Speaker 2 27:57

Yeah, all right, oh man that's bad.

Speaker 1 28:00

Yeah, that's bad.

Speaker 2 28:02

Hey, I got to tell you this story though. Little Ricky today caught a chipmunk. My dick, yeah, not you, my dog. He caught a little chipmunk and normally it's the larger one or the golden. And then he caught one today. He was all happy, he was smiling that he caught it right. But when he was trying to do it they hit cat and threw her into the wall because the chipmunk ran through her legs and she jumped up like it was a rat and they all plowed her over to get it. They get it, but she was telling me that they had seen a bear just down the street really yeah black bear yeah well, you guys really aren't that far away from anything.

Speaker 2 28:43

Because I've seen deer, foxes, raccoons everything I mean.

Speaker 1 28:49

Unfortunately, we're pushing Mankind, is pushing wildlife out.

Speaker 2 28:56

Yeah, nowhere for them to go, right.

Speaker 1 28:58

So they're going to start coming up and I mean we've seen them around here.

Speaker 2 29:03

I personally haven't seen them, yet I would say that they would be around here, because you have a lot of woods, we do.

Speaker 1 29:09

And it's a lot of protected.

Speaker 2 29:11

You have the what's that called the lake, the state park is all protected. The lake, where you can get fish Right yeah.

Speaker 1 29:27

So I mean they're definitely pushing more, uh, south. I guess you would say yeah, yeah, I mean they're coming out of pa and coming down. They're little black bears, they're not gonna hurt you.

Speaker 2 29:32

I mean they're scared more, yeah yeah, but I I thought about it as like I was telling my the wife because you know, the someone mentioned to the um my dog that oh, I haven't seen you get a raccoon yet or something, and next thing, you know, she comes back with one. You know what I mean, right? Or you say, oh, I haven't seen you catch a uh beaver, and then all of a sudden she's got a beaver in her mouth, you know?

Speaker 1 29:56

and I'm like what the heck?

Speaker 2 29:57

so the other day I said don't tell her, I did, I did, I did I said because someone said there was a bear like somewhere else, and I said, well, we haven't tell her a bear. I did, I did. I said because someone said there was a bear like somewhere else. And I said, well, we haven't seen her catch a bear yet. And I'm like thinking to myself. And then just last yesterday they said they seen a bear in our neighborhood. I'm like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 30:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 30:14

I could see her going after one. She'd go after it, I think I told they would scare.

Speaker 1 30:21

Yeah, three dogs. Yeah, they would run so fast. And our dogs aren't small, right? No, they're not, but the bear would be bigger. It'd be like nope, fuck off, it really wouldn't. Lucy, yeah, would probably be damn close to the same size.

Speaker 2 30:38

Yeah, I mean, it's a put up a big fight. Yeah, she's a put up a big fight.

Speaker 1 30:44

Yeah, she's a fucking the bear would be like hey, are you my brother or sister, let me, let me lick you.

Speaker 2 30:49

Yeah, come here, lucy you'd have a whole different fucking that would upset different kind of bear.

Speaker 1 30:56

Yeah, so I, I thought I had one more joke, and I was just gonna try to look at it.

Speaker 2 31:06

He's looking at it, all right now, go ahead, go you, keep going, keep going. But anyways, it's that time. That time once again, where ricky makes bad choices so wait, one one go.

Speaker 1 31:19

What does masturbation and a stroke have in common?

Speaker 2 31:26

A stroke. That was the death.

Speaker 1 31:28

No, I thought that no, wait a minute, hold on.

Speaker 2 31:33

What does this and that have in common? A stroke.

Speaker 1 31:37

No, quit it. See, now he's got it in my fucking head.

Speaker 2 31:40

Go ahead.

Speaker 1 31:42

What does Masturbation and brain damage have in common? A stroke, nope. After a few strokes, no going back On my gut. After a few strokes, what? After a few strokes, there's no going back, there isn't.

Speaker 2 32:00

You're in. Okay, this one's going to get nice Ready. Once again, ricky's Bad Choices. Yeah, here we go, here we go.

Speaker 1 32:10

Live Can't wait Okay.

Speaker 2 32:14

Are your parents disappointed in you?

Speaker 1 32:17

I think everybody who knows me is a little disappointed.

Speaker 2 32:21

I'm afraid to say you're my friend, I know, but you're just a little disappointed I I'm afraid to say you're my friend. No, I know, but you're just a little disappointed.

Speaker 1 32:27

I know, yeah, my mom's, everybody is just a little. I have so much potential and I just wasted away to this podcast all your energy, all my it, just yeah so any if, if you do the podcast with us, your parents are disappointed in you. I'm just saying I had so much potential.

Speaker 2 32:49

That's when you had so much love in your heart.

Ricky's Bad Choices and Final Thoughts

Speaker 1 32:53

I could have been so many things. I could have been a builder, porn star. I could have been an accountant. I could have been a lot of things. I could have been in a lot of things, but no, I'm just a drunk Drunk on a podcast.

Speaker 2 33:07

On a podcast that makes no money. Nope have you. Are my parents disappointed in me? Wait, probably so.

Speaker 1 33:17

No, I do pretty well. Why no, you do great Right? Yeah, I've accomplished a lot.

Speaker 2 33:26

I mean you got a mirror. So if I think, they're disappointed in my twin.

Speaker 1 33:30

If the mirror fucks up, you're like, oh yeah, fuck, but you got a mirror.

Speaker 2 33:36

So they're disappointed in my sister, anyways, or which one.

Speaker 1 33:41

Yeah, I'll just leave it at that.

Speaker 2 33:44

One's married.

Speaker 1 33:46

The one that's related to no, no, quit, quit, greg. Oh, it's Greg. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, okay, I get that one. I'm poking, why is?

Speaker 2 33:56

that card sticky Rick. I said stay away from these. Well, I've been trying to glue them together. That one was almost glued together. Your partner's phone? No, I have not, either, I, I won't. Yeah, I I mean I have opened it and looked at it. Nope, I'm not, I don't. Only because, like she'll say, look at something and yeah, yeah, well, yeah, I mean that, but I no, I've never like when she goes to the show.

Speaker 1 34:22

I don't give a fuck, like the way I see it. Yeah, if you gotta hide something from me, yeah to where I'm gonna find it and you're stupid enough to leave it on your phone yeah, that's true. Yeah, then I, they're like I. I don't get it. Yeah, like they're. Then we're already on the downward slope, right it's gonna go there.

Speaker 2 34:42

Yeah, like your joke. Once you start stroking it. Yeah, yeah, turn it back then you?

Speaker 1 34:48

you end up all droopy face on one side.

Speaker 2 34:56

But no, I haven't gone through my partner's phone. No, I've never read Do you own a sex toy?

Speaker 1 35:00

Do I own a sex toy? Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 2 35:06

I mean.

Speaker 1 35:07

I think, as a guy, we all own a sex toy, because we're just built with it. We're born with it.

Speaker 2 35:15

It's so shiny.

Speaker 1 35:16

Yeah, yeah, I mean, we all got a hand, I think everybody is built with a sex toy.

Speaker 2 35:25

Yeah, Women got boobs.

Speaker 1 35:28

Who Winnie Women got boobs. Well, yeah, lucky for them.

Speaker 2 35:32

I know.

Speaker 1 35:34

Did you ever try jerking off and pitching your own nipple? No, it really doesn't work out, I know, I saw a girl with.

Speaker 2 35:41

Let me ask you this. I mean, if you were a girl for a day, you would probably not keep your hands off your.

Speaker 1 35:45

If I was a girl for a day, yeah, if I was a girl for a day, dude, you'd be like I don't understand how you would never leave that Dude. If I was a girl for a day, yeah.

Speaker 2 35:57

I'd be fucked yeah.

Speaker 1 36:00

Myself. Yeah, I'd be, like I'd be taking everything.

Speaker 2 36:04

I just want to know how this feels.

Speaker 1 36:07

How's this ramrod feel? How's this fucking banana feel? Cucumber, cucumber. How big of a zucchini can I get?

Speaker 2 36:18

let me think about it, man how many times you coming back?

Speaker 1 36:20

here. No I, I just go around picking things from every tree log. I'm only a day.

Speaker 2 36:26

Hold on, let's see I'll recover and tear this fucker up.

Speaker 1 36:29

I'll get a dick tomorrow.

Speaker 2 36:34

I just want to know how it feels for one second, and then when you're with the girl and you're shutting up baby, I know how it feels Bitch shut up.

Speaker 1 36:42

I took this no problem, just keep quiet.

Speaker 2 36:48

I know you can take the whole thing.

Speaker 1 36:49

It feels better in a minute. Hold on. I just did this last night Hold on. I know you can take the whole thing. I got it. I've measured shit. I did fucking calculations.

Speaker 2 37:05

I know this pushes the limit, but just relax.

Speaker 1 37:10

Just yeah, Just a deep breath. A deep breath. You're going to feel a little pressure, okay.

Speaker 2 37:22

The last one here. Have you ever taken a picture of your shit, of my shit? Yeah, actually.

Speaker 1 37:28

I don't think I ever have, but I've been proud of some. There's been a couple that I probably should have.

Speaker 2 37:34

Yes, like I don't, think I had a camera back then when I've been like, oh, that came out of me.

Speaker 1 37:38

I don't know. There's a couple that probably it was a full, probably almost touched my butt, cheek as it can. You know what I mean. I know Like it fucking, it either twirled, but no, the most fucking exciting one was one that actually just slid down and still almost touched my butt, cheek you know what I mean, out of the water, yeah, out of the water, yeah, yeah, it was like a little fucking snake, yeah, but it didn't curl.

Speaker 1 38:11

No, it was like a little fucking snake, yeah. I got like, but it didn't curl. No, it's straight. No, it was just straight.

Speaker 2 38:14

It just fell perfectly and went down and then you're wondering how you had that much space in your stomach yeah, no, like I.

Speaker 1 38:22

I start to wonder, like how am I still alive? What just came out of me right now? But now have you ever like I know we've all blown them up, yeah, a magic poop, yeah, the mat. Like, have you ever had a magic blown up poop?

Speaker 2 38:41

oh, like to where, like you're surprised that you blew it up. And then you're like oh like how is this?

Speaker 1 38:47

no, I don't think I can recall one. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, like I've had a couple of them, I'm like holy, like how? Yeah, like I look in the toilet. I'm like because I do do a courtesy flush just for me. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 39:03

You're like holy fuck, there's some people that will blow it. I get so pissed.

Speaker 1 39:07

Dude, it's fucking disgusting. You walk into work. You walk into a workplace.

Speaker 2 39:12

I think they do it on purpose.

Speaker 1 39:14

They're not looking back. Go into a fucking rest, stop A trucker. Fucking truckers, yeah, yeah, and I mean some of them are probably Dude. I want to tell you this story. I do Now that I'm thinking about it, now that it triggered. It triggered something. It triggered something. Yeah, go ahead, dude. I was loading a container one time, loading oh okay, loading a container at work, yeah, and I walked outside and fucking knocked on this guy's door and he was shitting in a bucket in a fucking rolled up Windows, all rolled up hot as fuck, shitting in there and he rolled down his window, dude, and I almost puked and he's just sitting in there fucking blowing it up.

Speaker 1 40:01

Uh, like, how do you do like?

Speaker 2 40:03

granted, he wasn't from this country, uh but did he at least tell you one, one moment or something?

Speaker 1 40:09

no, he's trying to hold a conversation he was like yeah, give me my paperwork you didn't want it back, did you? The fuck. No, I didn't want to touch, I was like dude they're disgusting they are like I'm not and I'm not. I appreciate the truckers. They make our world go around. Yeah, you were, but there is nasty ones. There is some nasty motherfuckers out there dude, they are gross.

Speaker 2 40:37

I can't imagine him taking a shit.

Speaker 1 40:39

Now you offer restrooms for them when they come there well, we, just well, we and I, yeah, so we used to have a porta potty out there. Oh, they could use that, but now we took that away, okay, so now, yes, we have to walk them through our warehouse, but they could go poop in there.

Speaker 2 41:00

Yeah they can do whatever they want, whatever Not shower or whatever, but if they want, to crank If they need a shower, if they want to crank off, wants to go to that bath.

Speaker 1 41:09

Yeah, but they have to. My work has to get better on making a pathway, so you don't have to walk them right. That and them cutting through. We got three different openings on our way to our bathroom. Oh, and honestly, like I almost fucking hit a guy in my toe murder today, oh, because they're cutting through there. Yeah, I don't like they're just poking out everywhere like I'm not, like I'm beeping my horn, whatever, and yeah, he just stops out like let me ask you this not a spot that we're used to pedestrians, right?

Speaker 2 41:48

let me ask you this, though company-wise pedestrians are not, or employees are not, allowed in that area, but then all of a sudden, you know no, you got a random dude that doesn't work there right, I mean, and that's not good that's not good, like it was if it wasn't for somebody else going.

Speaker 1 42:06

Yeah, like because I was moving, moving I am, and so I like slowed down here. A guy just pokes his head around the corner damn, you know what I mean. Like I understand, like different, but he's cutting through, uh, shipping lanes.

Speaker 2 42:23

Yeah, see, that's yeah that's, you know what I mean. That's, that's not a normal spot for pedestrians because, they don't know where to go.

Speaker 1 42:30

Correct.

Speaker 2 42:31

They're lost right.

Speaker 1 42:32

Yeah, they're lost. Yeah, I mean they're lost anyhow because they don't speak English. Yeah, but they changed that now.

Speaker 2 42:40

Did they? Yeah, they came out with a law that the average trucker has to know, like 80% or a certain percentage.

Speaker 1 42:48

That's fine, but has that actually filtered down through? Not yet, it takes a minute.

Speaker 2 42:54

But that's where they were saying I'm not getting political. But that's why the law was put in place is to because of that they're having trouble reading signs and reading this.

Speaker 1 43:03

I get it. Believe me, I deal with it all day long. I absolutely get it. There's guys that come in and they don't know they talk into their phone for and make us read it, that's even worse. Yeah, yeah, like that's how bad it is and so I I understand why the law passed like I get it like because the accidents and stuff.

Speaker 2 43:27

yeah, if you're, you can't read the sign and it says go this way for something. Yeah, so is he going?

Speaker 1 43:35

how is he driving Like? How is he reading signs?

Speaker 2 43:40

While he's holding up his hammer. No, he's not.

Speaker 1 43:42

He's not, he's just going, he's typing it in in Czech yeah, czechoslovakian, or whatever.

Speaker 2 43:49

You know what I?

Speaker 1 43:49

mean yeah, so it's just directing him that way. But if there's a detour now, he's fucked. Yes. And that's where Axis is, and then you come in and he goes and then he shows us the phone. Yeah, you know it's kind of crazy.

Speaker 2 44:05

Yeah, it is crazy, but let's go ahead and rate this wonderful deadhead tour bus so it says deadhead on the sign.

Speaker 1 44:16

It's distilled. Yeah, it's good, it's really good, it is good, it's a very good dryness. Now, is this a double IPA? Is that what it was?

Speaker 2 44:26

Yeah, it's a double dry.

Speaker 1 44:27

Yeah, so that's the dryness. Yeah Well, you do get the dry, but it's a double dry.

Speaker 2 44:31

Yeah, so that's the dryness. Yeah, that's yeah. Well, you do get the dry, but it's still very good. It's very good. I see how they won the award. I'm gonna go solid. Nine, you're a nine maybe a nine?

Speaker 1 44:42

I'll do nine. Yeah, no, I'll do none. You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 44:44

Yeah absolutely bleeding on a nine and a half for an ip IPA dude.

Speaker 1 44:48

This is a fucking very good. It is dry. Yeah, Because it does get drier and drier. Your tongue will get drier and drier. That's where the double dry comes from. Yes, but it is very good.

Speaker 2 45:02

I wouldn't say princess. The reason why is because I don't know. It does have a good fruit flavor.

Speaker 1 45:08

It has a good flavor, but the dryness I get it it's not like Elvis juice.

Speaker 2 45:13

Yeah, I don't know if your pussies would like it. Yeah, I don't think so either. I don't know, Just playing with the no no, yeah, no. But that's original, just playing.

Speaker 1 45:21

Yeah, but that's where Princess comes from. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I'm on the border on that. Yeah, there's a lot of girls that wouldn't like it and probably more guys that wouldn't like it. I would agree.

Speaker 2 45:41

You know what I mean yeah. Yeah, like a neighbor wouldn't. He was like Would you even suggest this to him? No, I would, but I would let him try this. But the double dryer Catches people.

Speaker 1 45:58

Because it does dry out On the back end. Yeah, I feel like that flies.

Speaker 2 46:02

Back there.

Speaker 1 46:03

Yeah, yeah it just yeah, his fucking wings Just flapping. Yeah it Cause it says hazy, but it's a double dry. Yeah, that's what's messing with it.

Speaker 2 46:17

It's the dryness, yeah, because your tongue almost gets like that desert feel.

Speaker 1 46:22

If it wouldn't dry out, this would be a tent all day long.

Speaker 2 46:27

But the problem is, they probably can't figure that out.

Speaker 1 46:30

You never know at our brewery or another reason to drink.

Speaker 2 46:34

You can find, you can find a double.

Speaker 1 46:40

Just leave their word wet.

Speaker 2 46:42

No a double wet, juicy, juicy, double wet. All of ours are gonna be, and they're gonna be hot.

Speaker 1 46:50

Yeah's going to be like a summer day on a fucking no-panty fucking sundress this one's going to be panty remover.

Speaker 2 46:59

Panty remover Yep, maybe do you want a panty remover.

Speaker 1 47:04

No, I got a couple of them for you.

Speaker 2 47:07

What is it? Pr, baby. You want a PR, you want a PR. You want pr. Panty remover yeah, because you can't say that? Because if I give a girl that on my first date, right and say hey, would you like a panty remover?

Speaker 1 47:21

well yeah, but like we were talking to your son today and, yes, I guess it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 47:25

I guess these days it doesn't matter, right, what you drive but it was funny this so they go back with this history a little bit. That that they said that we asked him and he said the guy has to actually lift the hood and then take his starter cable and hit it against the battery to get it to start.

Speaker 2 47:41

You get and then he shuts it, and then he puts a bungee cord across it to hold it back down and he was on a date. And then I said he didn't get another one. Did it because the date asked no.

Speaker 1 47:51

But is this if this motherfucker is getting a date, yeah, I think I can manage, like if I wanted to go out on a date with a bitch, I mean a beautiful woman. I, I think I could manage. I think I don't know, i't know. I mean, at least I can start my car.

Speaker 2 48:12

Yeah, from inside. Yeah, I don't, maybe not I don't know, maybe not, maybe.

Speaker 1 48:21

I'm just undateable.

Speaker 2 48:23

You are undateable. I mean.

Speaker 1 48:24

well, I mean, but I'm still Committed. Well, let's talk about another reason to drink, another reason to drink another reason my another reason to drink. It was absolutely a beautiful day the last couple days. We finally hit summer. Yes, it was nice, and something like that that's good though.

Speaker 2 48:44

Yeah, we had a beautiful day on tuesday when we were golf absolutely.

Speaker 1 48:49

I smacked the fuck out of it.

Speaker 2 48:50

You smacked the fuck out of it. You got a birdie. No, we did good. So my another reason to drink was it was just a nice golf day, it was peaceful and you know what? It's my birthday tomorrow.

Speaker 1 49:02

God damn. You just said that, damn it. I was just going to say that.

Speaker 2 49:06

It's just not my birthday.

Speaker 1 49:14

It's my twin's birthday and it's a happy birthday to the brothers, the princesses. I was just going to bring that up and it was a happy birthday to you guys tomorrow, yep, and your birthday gets delivered next weekend. Yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 2 49:31

I yeah, I always tease Rick, that he has to.

Speaker 1 49:35

You know it sucks, dude. Yeah, no, this absolutely sucks.

Speaker 2 49:38

He just gets raped. Yeah, sucking is part of that.

Speaker 1 49:42

Yeah, no, but I just I don't have the cash alone. My OF my pitchers, of your foot isn't paying off.

Speaker 2 49:53

It's not paying off.

Speaker 1 49:57

I got fucking strange, gary.

Speaker 2 50:01

He gave me 25 cents for a toe, I don't understand, and that's better than nothing.

Speaker 1 50:07

Yeah, I'm up to 75 cents. But anyways, any last thoughts, I'm up to 75 cents.

Speaker 2 50:11

But anyways, any last thoughts.

Speaker 1 50:13

Yeah, happy birthday to you guys. Yeah, and.

Speaker 2 50:18

I don't drink and drive. God bless y'all. See you next week.

Speaker 1 50:32

Yep you.