EPISODE 2- Team Up - Fairies and Dragons, Ponies and Knights
Performed Live Feb. 21, 2021
Podcast released Feb. 26, 2021
Official site: dirtroadtheater.com/fadpak
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Previously on FADPAK, we met Beatrice, a mother dragon who is preparing herself for a quest to confront the fairies and ponies, who she suspects of stealing one of her eggs. She left her mountain in the charge of her five young dragons: Petra, Azrael, Edwine, Lyle, and the youngest, Smudge, and set off for the great city of Durga, to seek help from one of their famous knights. At the same time, a knight-in-training from that same city, Talora Shamsa, happens across the young dragons while she is out in the woods.  [cue: fade out overture / cue: Apprehension 3]  

    Through the cloud of debris, she saw it. No. Not it. Them. Two- no, three dragons. From what she could see, they all looked larger than the dragon currently sitting on her, but none of them seemed to be full-grown. Talora, pinned beneath the smallest dragon, with twigs and dirt in her mouth and nose, took a deep breath, and prepared herself. [cue: 3 dragons roar - continue to Forest Loop]

    Talora felt small tremors in the ground ripple towards her as the three dragons landed nearby. She craned her head to try to take them in, and saw that one was running towards her. It was larger than her dragon, but smaller than the other two. It was a shimmering blue-green, and its scales flashed in the dappled sunlight as it approached.

    “Smudgie!!!” it yelled. “Are you okay?”

    Wait a minute...yelled? Talora hadn’t seen its mouth open or any sound come out, and yet she heard a voice, a strong female voice, clearly inside her head. Talora’s dragon leapt toward it and they crashed into each other. Again, Talora heard the clear, full voice inside her head as the dragon spoke.

    “Smudie-ieeee, why did you leave us? Smudgie, oh Smudgie, I was sooo worried about you!! Smudgie! Ok. Stop! Smudgie, no! Stop! I’m just trying to cuddle you, I don’t want to wrestle right now!”

    “Smudge, stop!” yelled one of the two larger dragons as it approached. This one was a glimmering, rich yellow, as if she had been dipped in liquid gold.

    Talora was dumbfounded. She could hear the golden dragon in her head, too, though her voice was different; it sounded older, and angrier. She couldn’t see their mouths moving, but they seemed to be able to hear each other as clearly as she could hear them. She resisted the urge to sit up so she could see them, figuring it was better to stay hidden for now. 

    “Smudge, what are you doing?? What were you thinking? You can NOT just run off like that!” said the gold dragon. 

    Talora was beginning to gather that her dragon was called Smudge. She wondered why she hadn’t heard his voice in her head, like she was hearing the others? 

    “Guys?” said the third dragon, who was pacing almost nervously behind the others. Talora could just see him out of the corner of her eye if she tilted her head up. He was jet-black and had a deeper voice. 

    “Smudge,” the golden one started again. “Smudge. Smudge! Stop! Edwine, stop playing with him!”

    “I’m not!” the blue-green dragon yelled back. “He’s playing with me. Ow, Smudge! Don’t bite!” 

    “Guys,” the black dragon tried again.

    “Edwine! Just…. uggh! Step away from him! I’m going to roast you both!” the golden one shouted. 

    “Guys.”

    “Smudge, I’m going to count to three. One…. two...”  

    Smudge let go of the blue-green dragon- was it Edwine?- before scampering back to where Talora was buried and sitting firmly atop the pile.  

    “Guys...” Talora heard the black dragon’s voice again inside her head, and she marveled that she could tell which dragon was speaking, even though their mouths weren’t moving and they were speaking over each other. 

    “Smudge!” The golden dragon was approaching Smudge and Talora, and Talora tried to inch herself deeper into her brush pile. “You can NOT run away like that. Do you have any idea how worried we were?! We have been looking for you everywhere! And what if mom had found out! Oh, then you would be totally roasted! You are so in trouble. Mom put me in charge, so when we get back to the mountain-”

    “Hey Guys.” 

    “What, Azrael?” Petra asked finally. 

    “Where’s Lyle? He’s… not here with us.”     

    [cue: petra growl] roared the golden dragon, called Petra. “LYLE!!! Argh you guys, Mom is never going to leave us alone again, and it’s all YOUR fault!”

    “Wait! Shhh...” said Edwine. “I think I hear something.”

    They were all quiet. 

    “I’m up heeeeeere!” A new voice entered Talora’s head, and she could tell it was further away than the others. 

    “I hear Lyle!” said Edwine. “Where is he, though?”

    “I’m up here. I’m just… I’m okay! I’m just… caught. Hold on, I’m just stuck… in this… tree here.  I’ll- hang on, ouch-  I’ll be down in a minute!  I just need to…. I’ll be there in just a second… just go back to the thing you were doing. Sorry, Petra!” 

     “Ugghhh flaming snakes in a barrel” said Petra. “Come on, Smudge. We’ve got to go home, you guys, before we run into any humans. Azrael, do you know how to get back from here?” 

    The black dragon, apparently Azrael, considered. “Uhhhhhhhhhhh yeah? Yeah…. I think so. Um… let me just… hey, Lyle! Can you see a lake from up there?” 

    Distantly, Lyle’s voice could be heard.  “No…. I can only see my butt.” 

    Azrael sighed and Talora watched as a puff of smoke escaped his nostrils and curled around a bush. “Okay, thanks! Ummm, okay. I’ll be right back, I just need to get my bearings.” 

    He unfurled his wings - Talora’s heart raced at the sheer size of them-  and headed up into the sky. They all watched him go, then Petra turned again to face Smudge. 

    “Smudge, get on my back. I don’t want you running off again.” 

    Smudge didn’t move. 

    “Smudge. Come on. Right now.”

    Smudge didn’t move. Talora felt him nestle more firmly against her chest. It was getting slightly difficult to breathe. 

    “Smudge, I’m not joking. I will come over there and grab you with my teeth if I have to.” 

    Smudge shrank a little, then took a few hesitant steps forward, along Talora’s body. She tried not to groan as she felt his claws wrap around her legs as he balanced. Then he stopped again. 

    “Smudge… what are you…. are you hiding something?” 

    Smudge shook his head no. He took a furtive glance back at Talora, then looked back at Petra and shook his head no again. 

    “Smudge, how come the dirt is all dug up behind you? Smudgie, what do you have?”  [cue: smudge growl low]

    Talora could hear a very small growl forming in Smudge’s throat. 

    “Edwine, he has something, make him show you what it is.”

    Edwine walked slowly towards Smudge and Talora. “Smudgieee, what do you have? Do you have something? Oh Smudgie, what did you find?” 

    Petra and Edwine were advancing closer, and Smudge scampered back up Talora’s body and sat on her chest again. [cue: smudge growl 2] He started growling more loudly, and smoke was pouring out of his nostrils. 

    “Smudge, I do NOT like that growling,” said Petra. “And you need to put that smoke away before you do something you’re going to regret, drago.”  

    Smudge’s smoke seemed to stop for a moment while Petra got closer, but as she reached him, he opened his mouth, let out a great cloud [cue: smudge growl attack 9.1] and ran towards her.

    WHAM! Petra Growled. “OW! Smudge, you little goat-head! Stop!” [cue: smudge grunts] Petra yelled over the sounds of Smudge’s grunting and growling. Talora noticed that while the voices were clearly happening inside her head, the growling, roaring, and grunting noises she seemed to be hearing normally, with her ears. Maybe Smudge was too young to talk yet, and that was why she couldn’t hear his voice the way she could hear the others’?

    “No biting! Ow! Ow! [cue: Petra Roar]!!!” Petra roared and pumped her wings, lifting herself and Smudge a few feet off the ground. Then she stopped and came crashing down with two feet on top of Smudge, pinning him completely.

    “Petra!!” Edwine yelled immediately. “Be careful, you’ll hurt him! He’s just a baby!” 

    “He hurt me! I am not hurting him. And he is not a baby anymore. Ugghh. Edwine, go see what he buried over there.”

    Edwine came trotting over to the mound of leaves and dirt under which Talora lay frozen. Talora’s heart was racing. What was she going to do? What were four, no five! dragons going to do to her? They seemed young, they were clearly siblings, and while they weren’t acting aggressive, they were still dragons! Before she could come up with any kind of plan, Edwine had reached her and was sweeping aside the leaves with her long front legs, revealing Talora, lying flat on her back, staring up at three curious dragon faces. Petra and Edwine gasped in unison inside Talora’s head. Petra was shocked enough that Smudge was able to scramble free from under her feet and run towards Talora. She slowly sat up as he positioned himself in front of her, standing between her and the other two dragons, [cue: smudge growl 2] growling low in his throat like a dog. 

    “Oh no,” said Petra.

    “What is it?” said Edwine.

    “What do you mean, what is it? What else could it be?” said Petra. 

    “Well… I’ve never seen one!” said Edwine.

    “What is it?” called Lyle from above them. “I can’t see it from up here.” 

    “Smudge, move away from...it.” said Petra. 

    Smudge’s growling intensified, [cue: smudge growl 2] and Talora decided she needed to assert some control over this situation. She started to stand up, raising her arms carefully in front of her to show she wasn’t holding any weapons.

    “Whoa! Whoa! What’s it doing? What’s it doing?” yelled Edwine. 

    “It’s standing up, Edwine, geez, calm down,” said Petra, though she was backing nervously away with her sister.  

    “Guys!” Lyle’s voice called again. “C’mon, what is it? What does Smudge have? C’mon you guys, I can’t see! Wait, maybe if I just...” [cue: Lyle Tree Fall] There was some loud grunting, then branches snapping. “Aaaaaaaaaahhhh,” Lyle yelled over the crashing sounds in the tree. Talora and the three dragons on the ground looked up; they could just see Lyle in the tree above them as he struggled downwards, crashing from branch to branch and gathering speed. 

    “Ugggh! Ow! Oh no! Holy monkey! Agghh. My wing, oh no, my wing! Oh, agggghh.”  

    With a tremendous thud, Lyle finally exited the tree and hit the ground a few yards from where Talora was standing. 

    “Uggggghhhhhhhh……..” he moaned.

    “Are you okay, Lyle?” called Edwine.

    “I’m okay, I’m okay.” Lyle slowly pulled himself up to his feet and staggered towards them. He was the same size as Edwine, and while he too was blue-green, his body was mostly green with blue streaks, the opposite of Edwine’s. Despite the fact that Talora was now surrounded by four dragons with a fifth due to land any minute now, she couldn’t help but marvel at their beauty, grace, and strength. Even Lyle, who had just somersaulted out of a tree, seemed to move with a sinuous elegance that Talora felt she’d never seen before in any other creature. 

     “Whew. Wow. I’m okay, guys. Ow. That really hurt. I thought I was going to lose my wing for a minute there. Did you guys see that? I was way at the top there, and I just fell alllllll the way down. I think I hit every single branch, and I maaaay have eaten a squirrel, or swallowed a squirrel, on the way down, but it might have just been a pine cone, I’m not - IS THAT A HUMAN??!! SMUDGE CAUGHT A HUMAN?!! OH NO! Mom is going to kill us!!”

    “Hello,” said Talora. The dragons all froze. “My name is Talora Shamsa.”

    Right at that moment, Azrael returned, pumping his wings to land softly behind the other dragons. 

    “Okay. Good news is, I think I know where we are and how to get home. Bad news is, I definitely saw some of those, those uhhh, nest things? that are uhh, attached to the ground, you know what I mean, what do you call those? Those human nest cave things?”

    “Houses?” offered Talora.

    “Yeah, right, those, so there are probably humans around-- OH HUNGRY HUMMINGBIRDS, there’s one right there!”

    “Azrael, obviously! Now be quiet, it’s talking to us,” said Edwine. They all turned expectantly to Talora, who took a very deep breath and let it out slowly.

    “Hi. I’m uhhh. I’m not really a human. I mean I am, I am a human, but… I’m not like a regular human. I’m a knight. Well… I’m training to be a knight. I’m at school to be a knight. In Durga, which is just over there by the way, well a couple miles over that way, anyway. What I mean to say is… I’m not afraid of you. Of dragons I mean. Well, I don’t mean I’m not afraid, like… I’m, I’m pretty scared right now, because I’ve never seen a dragon before, and now I’m looking at five of you, and you’re all very big and very, very… sharp-looking. But, I mean, I’m not like bad-afraid, like I’m not going to do anything to hurt you - not like I could, of course, I just… I know that humans and dragons don’t always get along. So, I’m just trying to say that... that... I’m actually kind of excited? I’ve never seen a dragon before, and… now I’ve seen five. Um, you guys are...great. Hi.”

    “Wow, that’s so crazy, she’s talking out of her face!” said Lyle. “Look, did you notice, her face is moving around all funny, like she’s trying to chew something, and her words are coming out at the same time? But I can totally understand her. Can you do that again…um, what’s your name again?”

    “Talora.” 

    “Ha! Yeah, that is so cool!!” said Lyle.

    “And you can understand us?” Petra wanted to know. 

    Talora nodded eagerly. “Yeah, your words are just...it’s like they’re in my head. It’s so cool!”

    “Is that not how humans talk? In each other’s heads?” asked Azrael.

    “No! We talk by doing….the face chewing thing.” 

    Azrael crept closer to examine Talora’s mouth as she spoke. “That’s so weird, what do you do if you speak different languages?”

    “Well, then we just don’t understand each other,” answered Talora. 

    “That seems impractical,” Azrael said. “I mean, dragons can understand any animal at all, as well as communicate with them.”

    Lyle was also staring closely at Talora’s mouth. “Yeah, like I can talk to a squirrel, even though I speak dragon and the squirrel speaks squirrel, and like I could also even talk to a...I don’t know, a ladybug, even though the ladybug obviously only speaks ladybug--” 

    “Wait, did you say you’re a knight?” Petra interrupted. 

    “Well… kind of, but not yet… officially.” 

    “We need a knight!” said Azrael. “Well, our mom needs a knight. She’s looking for one right now!”

    “Your mom is looking for a knight?” asked Talora. “Why? Why would a dragon need a knight?”

    All of the older dragons tried to answer her at once, while Smudge knocked Talora down and crawled into her lap, nudging her chin. 

    “Well it all started a long time ago, with the Ponies and Fairies,” said Azrael.

    “I mean, it didn’t really start with them, Azrael, it started when mom’s egg was stolen,” Petra pointed out.

    “Yeah, our mom had an egg, a year ago. Well, two eggs,” said Lyle.

    “One egg was Smudgie!” added Edwine. “And the one that wasn’t, the one that was stolen, would have been his egg twin.”

    Talora tried to keep track of all this information while also managing the aggressive snuggling of Smudge, who was making noises that sounded a little like purring. “What’s an egg twin?”

    “Azrael is my egg twin, we were hatched at the same time,” supplied Petra.

    “Yeah and this noodle-brain is mine,” said Edwine, gesturing towards Lyle.

    “Yep!” said Lyle.    

    “So anyway, the Fairies and Ponies. They’ve been doing all this mean stuff,” said Azreal.

    “I thought that Fairies and Ponies were nice,” Talora said, surprised. “I mean, I’ve never met any, but all the stories I’ve heard make them out to be really sweet, and cute, and colorful--”

    “Yeah, yeah! That’s what they want you to think,” said Azrael.

    “Azrael, let me tell it, you’re doing it out of order,” said Petra.

    “So after the eggs were laid, she hid them in her nest. Somewhere verrrrrry secret that only we knew about,” said Edwine.

    “Edwine stop! I’m going to tell it,” said Petra.

    “Petra, you don’t get to tell it just because you want to. I started telling it,” said Azrael.

    “Then, ooone day, she went to her seeeeecret place, and it was GONE!” said Edwine.

    “Edwine, you weren’t even there, you can’t tell it like you were there,” snapped Petra.

    “But none of this makes sense if you don’t know the backstory, you have to start with the Fairies and Ponies!” insisted Azrael.

    “And Mom was thinking, ‘Oh no! Where is my egg? Where could my egg have gone? Is this the right cave?’” said Edwine, pretending to search frantically around on the ground. 

    “Ugggghh. Edwine! You don’t know that mom was thinking that,” yelled Petra. “Pleeeeaase. Let me tell it!”

    Azrael stamped his foot. “Mom wouldn’t just go off and leave us if this was a one-time thing! This is only because those Fairies and Ponies have been doing this kind of thing a lot, and no one is doing anything about it.” 

    “Azrael, you don’t know that for sure,” said Petra.

    “Yes I do, that is exactly what mom SAID!” 

    “Then she left, to go look for her egg. And when she got the stream, she saw the Fairies and the Ponies were there. Eating her egg!”

    “No! That is not what happened at all, what are you talking about?” Now Azrael was glaring at Edwine, too. 

    “And mom said to them, ‘allright, you Fairies and Ponies! You have caused war on me!’ And she shot her fire across the river-” Edwine continued to sweep dramatically around the clearing as she spoke.

    “Don’t listen to her, don’t listen to her, that’s not what happened…” said Azrael, doing what looked like the dragon version of a face-palm.

    “So... she ATE them!” concluded Edwine grandly.     

    “Seriously, Edwine?!”

    Talora gulped. “Your mom ATE the Fairies and Ponies?”

    “No! No, definitely not,” Azrael assured her. “She would never do that. She’s very peaceful. She didn’t see them eating the egg, or any of that stuff Edwine said, but she knew they stole it and that she needed to confront them.”

    “But,” Petra interjected, “Not by herself. Because then the humans would get upset at her, so she thought if she got a knight, the knight could help her. Because knights are fair, right? And brave? And like, a good go-between?”

    “Well, yes--” began Talora. 

    “Oh no! My cup!” Talora jumped out of the way as Lyle rushed past her. “I don’t have my special human cup! Have you guys seen it?? I’m pretty sure I brought it. I remember I had it when we all flew away.” Lyle was now digging frantically around the tree he’d fallen from. “Will someone help me find my cup? I must have dropped it by the tree when I was falling down it.” 

    “Lyle, hang on, let the human finish,” Petra said.     

    “Yes, a knight could help, I think,” Talora mused. “Wow, this is a lot! I didn’t know that there was so much going on among you magical creatures.”

    “Okay guys, let’s spread out. We have to look on every branch of this tree, okay? I hit like every one of them, so my cup could be anywhere. It’s really small. And it’s shiny, but kind of dullish. And it’s really special to me, okay?”

    “What’s a magical creature?” asked Edwine.

    “Oh, um, well...that’s just what we call creatures...or um, animals? That have special, I don’t know...abilities? Like, not humans, I guess.” 

    “Huh. Ok, well… anyway,” said Edwine. “I say, we find mom, and we give her this human, this Talora, then maybe she’ll let us go on the adventure with her!”

    “Wait,” said Talora. “Give me to her? I don’t belong to you, I can go where I want.”

    “Oh...I guess that’s true,” said Edwine.

    “Well, you kind of belong to Smudge. He caught you,” Petra pointed out.

    “He didn’t catch me, he--”

    “When we got here, you were buried under sticks and leaves. ”

    “Yeah, but--”

    “And now he’s sitting on you and you’re scratching his neck.” 

    “Well, that just sort of happened,” said Talora. 

    “Is anyone going to help me??” yelled Lyle from under the tree.

    “Wait. You aren’t supposed to be here, are you?” asked Talora. “You said if your mom finds you here, you’re in big trouble. But it seems like you also don’t want to be left behind. You want to go with her while she finds a knight and sorts this thing out with the Fairies and Ponies. Right?”

    “Well….I guess that’s kiiiinnnnddd of right,” said Azrael. “But it’s also complicated, because we have a responsibility to watch the mountain, and Smudge is so young, but we’re all ready for so much more, you know? And also--”

    “Yes. That is exactly right.” said Petra. “You are really smart. You should definitely be on our team.” 

    “What team?” asked Asrael. “What are you talking about?” 

    “Ha! YES! A team! We’re on a team, you guys!” said Edwine.

    “Whoa whoa whoa, we just met her,” said Azrael. “And she’s a human. And she’s not even a knight, she’s a knight-in-training. Why do you want to be on the same team as her?”

    Petra heaved a sigh and went to stand with Talora and Smudge and Edwine, who was dancing in circles around them. “Because, goat brain. Number one? Smudge loves her. We will never get her away from Smudge. Number two. If we just give her to Mom, Mom will be angry at us and send us home, and then ask Talora to take her to a real knight. Therefore, none of us get to go on an adventure. Number Three. A real knight would never listen to a bunch of draglings like us, but she’s a knight-in-training, and she totally wants to help us out, because she wants to go on an adventure just as much as we do. And number four. We’re already like best friends now.”

    “What did you say?” said Talora, astonished. 

    “Oh gosh. Do I have to repeat that whole thing?” asked Petra.

    “No, I mean, how do you know that we’re best friends?” asked Talora.

    “Oh. Isn’t it obvious?” said Petra. “I knew it like the second I saw you all scared in that leaf pile that we were going to be best friends for the rest of our lives. Didn’t you feel that too?” 

    Talora felt a rush of unfamiliar emotions swirl through her chest. It was true. The moment she had seen these dragons, first the one who tackled her and grabbed her boot and buried her, then all of them together, she knew from somewhere deep down that she could never be away from them again. It sounded crazy, but she had loved them, instantly, even when she thought she might be killed and eaten. But how did Petra know that, even before she, Talora, knew it herself? And how was it possible that this dragon, these dragons, might feel the same about her, Talora Shamsa, who had never been loved herself nearly as much as she loved others? She just stood there, gaping at the dragons as these thoughts rushed around in her brain. 

    “I think you broke your human,” said Azrael.

    Talora spoke up. “Yes. You’re right. I do want to help you. And...I want to be your friend. And...oh, there’s your cup, Lyle.” 

    “Ahhhh, my cup, my sweet sweet cupppp! She found my cup! She is HIRED, I am definitely on her team now!”

    “Yay! What should we call our team?!” asked Edwine. 

    “Okay, okay. I’m on board, too,” said Azrael. “So, what’s the plan? Also Petra, you should know, I take “goat brain” as a personal compliment, because goats are really smart, and completely undervalued, especially by dragons and other common predators--”

    “Azrael, not right now,” Petra said. 

    “Man, I am so relieved about my cup! I thought I lost that thing for real. But no. Here it is. You know what’s crazy, I remember when I was falling I was thinking, ‘I’m going to die for sure’, which was so sad you know, because I only JUST found this cup, but then I was okay, but I lost my cup. BUT THEN our new human friend found my cup...oh man! Life. Just… life, right?

    There was a silence as everyone stared at Lyle. Then Talora took a deep breath and addressed all five dragons. “Okay. I think I can help you come up with a plan, but we need to get away from this path, or someone is going to find us. Like, some humans. We’re not that far from Durga.” 

    “Alright, everybody,” said Petra. “Talora’s in charge while we come up with a plan. Talora, take us somewhere safe where we can talk.” 

    “Wait!” said Azrael. “I want adventure as much as all of you, and I want to help mom, but should we really be doing this? What about the mountain? Mom put us in charge of it.” 

    “Well how bad could it get? We probably won’t be gone for too long,” said Petra.

    “We have no idea how long we’ll be gone!” said Azrael.

    “But how long could this possibly take?”

    “Petra, whenever someone says that, the thing ends up taking, like, forever.”

    They all stood looking at each other. This was a tough one. No one wanted to disobey their mother, but… no one wanted to miss out on this adventure either. 

    “Wait!” exclaimed Azrael suddenly. “I think I have an idea of what to do to keep the mountain safe while we’re gone! But I’ve got to head back there for a few hours. You guys come up with a plan to convince Mom to take us all on her quest, and I’ll meet you back here by nightfall.”

    They all watched him as he got a running start, leapt into the air, and disappeared over the treetops. Then Petra, Edwine, Lyle, and Smudge turned expectantly to look at Talora. 

    “Okay Talora, what’s your plan?” Petra asked. 

    “Well, I mean, I do have something...but it might be crazy...and really complicated...and also way too involved…”

    “That’s our favorite kind of plan!” said Edwine, frolicking in circles around Talora.

    Talora furrowed her brow. “Okay. When did your mom leave for Durga?”

    “Yesterday, late afternoon” answered Petra promptly. “We’ve been tracking Smudge since then.”

    “How fast does she fly?” Talora wanted to know. 

    “Well, pretty much as fast as lightning,” supplied Lyle. “But she was going to walk when she got to the bottom of our mountain so she didn’t freak any humans out.”

    “Okay, for this to work we really need to reach Durga before she does. And we’ll be cutting it close...but I know a shortcut there, and I’m willing to bet your mom took the common road. If we leave as soon as Azrael gets back, we should still beat her there by at least a day.” 

    “Oooooh this is so exciting! Durga! Are we really going to Durga? What’s our team name? Guys, what’s our team name?” Edwine’s frolicking had turned into low flying loops above their heads. 

    “Yes. We’re going to Durga. But it’s not going to be easy. Here’s what I think we should do…”

    Four dragon heads bent close to Talora as she started to weave her plan.