EPISODE 4 - Dragon Games - Fairies and Dragons, Ponies and Knights
Performed Live Mar. 21st, 2021
Podcast released Mar. 27, 2021
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[cue: Intro - Overture] 

    Previously on FADPAK, we met Beatrice, a mother dragon who is heading off on a quest to find her stolen egg. She arrives in the city of Durga to seek the help of one of their famous knights, but when she arrives is surprised to see they were expecting her, and are about to begin something called the Dragon Games in order to find the most worthy knight to assist her. Meanwhile, Beatrice’s five children, who she left behind to take care of their mountain, have, unbeknownst to Beatrice, hatched a plan with their new friend Talora, a knight-in-training from Durga. Talora and the dragons will do whatever it takes to join Beatrice on her quest. 

[cue: Fade Overture, cue Horn + Crowd] 

    There was a blast of noise and the gate swung open. Beatrice could not believe what she was seeing. From out of the gate came one of the most ferocious beasts Beatrice had ever encountered: her youngest dragling, her baby, Smudge. He was running his fastest, with what only a mother dragon would recognize as a giant grin spread across his face, and some poor, poor human was strapped to his back. Beatrice was frozen in horror and shock. What was Smudge doing in Durga? Was he all right? Would that human be all right?

    The woman in the tower next to Beatrice seemed to be the announcer for this ill-conceived event they were calling “The Dragon Games” that was apparently supposed to help Beatrice select the most appropriate candidate to help her on her quest. 

    “Annnnnnd, we’re off!” the announcer yelled through the cone that magnified her voice. “We’ll be kicking things off today with our first event: DRAGON BUCKING!! Each applicant will have a chance to ride atop the young dragon known as SMUDGE! The twenty-five contestants with the longest rides will continue on to the next challenge. Let’s hear it for our first contestant, Knight Borik Handler!! [cue: fade up the crowd - 1]  A well-established knight here in Durga, Borik is out of the Red House and is known for his skills with the crossbow. And I hear he makes a mean lasagna!” [cue: Home 2] 

    Beatrice watched in terror as the man atop Smudge’s back clung on for dear life while Smudge frolicked happily in curlicues up and down the field. Suddenly, Smudge dove towards the ground, tucked his head under his chest, and did a full summersault, [cue: fade up the crowd 2]  completely rolling over the rider on his back, who was thankfully wearing armor. Nevertheless, Beatrice could hear the crunch from where she was crouched. As Smudge rolled up to standing, he turned to look over his shoulder and seemed surprised that the rider was no longer there. 

    “Ooooohhhh. A short ride for poor Borik. That could not have felt good.”    Smudge looked around, spotted Knight Borik behind him on the ground, and bounced his way over to him. He began to nudge him enthusiastically with his snout. 

    “Uh-oh, looks like the dragon isn’t quite finished with him yet…” 

    Beatrice knew what came next-  if someone didn’t grab Borik soon, Smudge would start bouncing on him. Luckily, some other knights ran out and helped him to his feet. One had a bucket of small fish and was tossing them to Smudge as a distraction. That was a good idea, Beatrice would have to remember that. 

    “Let’s hear it for Borik!” The crowd went wild. [cue: fade up the crowd 3]  

    Another knight came out through the gate, and was helped onto Smudge’s back. 

        “Next up, we have the daring Knight Fiona Cartwagon. Recently out of the Purple House, Knight Fiona is known for her hunting and trapping skills. Her favorite snack is grilled cheese with tomato soup! Let’s see if she can hang on a smite longer than poor Borik.” 

    [cue: Deep Horn] Another blast from the horn, and Smudge was off. This rider didn’t fare much better. No sooner had the horn sounded than Smudge had turned his head and grabbed the knight by the boot. He easily pulled her off his back and began dragging her around the field in circles. Pieces of armor kept flying off of Knight Fiona as she bounced across the field. [cue: fade up the crowd 4]  Finally, she began to wave her arms in a signal of surrender. 

    “Not bad, Knight Fiona! If getting dragged by the boot counts as riding, then Fiona may walk away with a decent score. Hope she can find all that armor, though.”

    This process was repeated again and again. Smudge had never seemed happier in his life and it didn’t matter what he did to the humans, the crowd loved it and the knights kept coming. He threw them into the air…

    “Yeow! I wouldn't want to be Knight Benji when he hits the ground!”  

    He smashed them with his tail...

    “Wow, like getting hit in the face by a hundred pound sausage, am I right?”

    He pounced on them…

    “Oh dear, Knight Elnora seems to have lost her helmet and that dragon is SITTING ON HER HEAD.” 

[cue: fade out crowd + home music]

    While some riders lasted longer than others, this seemed to have more to do with what Smudge felt like doing to them, than any special ability on the part of the human- with one notable exception. One rider clearly lasted longer than the others, and did so with unusual poise. She was a knight-in-training actually, Tamora something, maybe? She seemed far more comfortable riding Smudge, almost as if she had done it before, and when Smudge reached around to grab her armored boot, she seemed prepared, letting the boot come off easily. It finally ended when Smudge rolled over and seemed to be snuggling the girl, but since he was basically crushing her, she signaled for rescue and the ride was over. 

    Beatrice vacillated between absolute terror for the safety of all involved, and getting swept away in the excitement of the event. She couldn’t deny that Smudge seemed very happy, and at least he wasn’t killing anyone... but still, how had he gotten here? Beatrice knew his siblings would be here, too, or should she be referring to them as her “emissaries?”  She lost count, but it must have been over a hundred riders before the announcer called a halt. Smudge, who didn’t seem remotely tired, looked disappointed. 

    “Aaaand, that does it for Dragon Bucking! The judges will compute the scores and the twenty-five contestants with the longest times will move on to the next challenge. To the rest of you- we thank you for your bravery, and we hope your bodies heal soon.”

    As the contestants hobbled off the field, the knight with the bucket of fish began to lead Smudge away. He started to follow, but then he stopped and lifted his head, sniffing the air vigorously. He turned his long scaly neck until his gaze fell directly on Beatrice. Apparently he’d been too excited by the competition to have noticed her sooner. 

    [cue: O attack. Ep.4] Smudge growled happily before galloping across the field towards his mother. The crowd gasped, to them it probably looked like he was about to attack her. Smudge crashed into Beatrice hard enough to have knocked down a tree. He immediately started biting and clawing her all over, then stopped to ram her in the chest repeatedly. Beatrice made low rumbling sounds to calm him. Smudge’s bites turned to licks and he finally coiled up around her neck. The crowd of humans melted into a chorus of “Awww-wwwww”s. Goodness… so emotional these humans, thought Beatrice, though she was very glad to have her baby near her again. This was the longest she’d ever gone without seeing her children before. She hoped to see the rest of them soon, though she very much hoped that they weren’t involved in any more of these “games.”

    The announcer stood up once again and raised the large cone to her mouth. “For our next challenge, we will be testing the physical endurance and innate flight capabilities of each of our remaining contestants. Contestants, please stand ready to receive your instructions.”

    As she spoke, a tall, wide tower was slowly dragged onto the field, followed by twenty-five battered, bruised, and limping knights. 

    They were a mixed batch, Beatrice thought, looking them over. They were all ages and sizes, both men and women. Twenty were knights, three were knights-in-training, including the girl who had ridden Smudge the longest, and two were regular folks from Durga. One, a stable boy, had done pretty well with Smudge. His body had seemed to be made of rubber. No matter how Smudge had shaken and rolled that boy he had just bounced and bounced, until finally he caught the bounce wrong and was flung into the crowd like a human catapult, knocking down a whole row of people. Beatrice couldn’t help but get caught up in the spirit of things as she looked over the group: one of these would be the knight to help her on her quest!

    “Let’s show these knights our support!” yelled the announcer. [cue: crowd]

    The crowd went wild, shouting the names of various contestants, and the announcer spoke again. “Now please give a warm welcome to Princess Petra the Golden, and Prince Azrael, the Black.”

    “No, no, no…” Beatrice thought. Wait until she got a hold of this “prince” and “princess”! They were far too big and strong to be playing with humans! 

    [cue: fireworks launch.whistle] There were two loud popping sounds on either side of the field, then a long, high whistle as two bright streaks of fireworks shot up into the air. When the streaks were right above the field, they exploded into giant fiery flowers; [cue: fireworks pop.crackle] one was red and black, and the other golden and shimmering. Just as the flowers were starting to fade, two flying objects came bursting through the center of each. Azrael and Petra. Their wings were tucked tightly against their sides, and they were plummeting towards the earth at an impossible speed. Just as they were above the crowd, their wings shot outward, slowing their fall towards the newly-arrived tower in the center of the field. As their sinewy legs gently touched the tower and they settled on top, they roared [cue: O and G roar]  and let loose two huge streams of flame that arced into the air and crossed each other before falling to the ground. 

    “Show-offs,” muttered Beatrice to herself, but she couldn’t help but be proud. No matter how silly this little stunt of theirs was, it clearly took some practice, and Beatrice was happy to see that they had worked together so well. Petra and Azreal both stole a quick, guilty glance at their mother, who felt a little pleased that they knew they were in trouble. She narrowed her eyes at them, but they quickly resumed their regal posture, as the announcer began to explain the next task. [cue: fade crowd] 

    “Each contestant will have the extremely rare opportunity to fly, with a dragon, to the very top of mount Durga.” [cue: murmers] 

    There were murmurs of jealousy from the crowd. Only in stories did dragons allow this to happen and now all twenty-five of these people would have the honor. 

    “And that is not all,” resumed the announcer gleefully. “For this challenge, you will not be riding ON the dragons. No. Rather, Petra the Gold and Azrael the Black will each hold a contestant by their feet and they will be flown, upside down, to the top of the mountain.” [cue: gasps] 

    Gasps of horror could be heard from the crowd, and one of the remaining contestants fell over from shock. 

    “Contestants, your flight will last exactly five minutes. As each minute passes, you will hear the blast of a horn. After the fifth blast, the dragons will take you to the top of the mountain where you will await the following task...should you make it that far, of course. You will each be given a red flag. If you wish to end your flight at any point, simply wave the flag. You will be immediately returned to the ground, and eliminated from the competition. Contestants, please prepare yourselves for our second challenge: THE SCREAM!” [cue: fanfare + crowd + talora theme] 

    Talora Shamsa was shaking from head to toe. When she and the dragons had hatched their plan for the Dragon Games, she had made them choose the challenges secretly, without consulting her. The dragons had suggested picking tasks that Talora would be sure to win, so that she could be their champion, but she knew that would be cheating. She wanted to win the games fair and square.  Afterwards, they told her they had picked tasks that would be funniest to watch. This did not sound funny at all. 

    Talora was proud of how she’d handled the first task, but there was one small problem with the second. Talora had once fallen from a very high place. She was lucky to have lived. Ever since, she was afraid of heights. Very, very, very afraid of heights. It was a secret fear, one she’d never revealed, as she believed knights should be fearless, but she was now worried it would be her undoing. 

    [cue: crowd]    The announcer called out two names, and these two contestants walked up to the tower. They were each seasoned knights, one a man, one a woman. As the crowd cheered, they waved and smiled broadly, but Talora could see their nervousness as they slowly climbed up the tower, clutching their red flags, to where Petra and Azrael perched. The people on top of the tower seemed to be explaining something to them, and the two knights lay down so that their straightened legs extended over the edge of the tower. Petra and Azrael reached out their taloned front legs and carefully clutched the knights by their feet.  

    [cue: Bang]  There was a sharp bang and Petra and Azreal leapt off the tower, plummeting to the earth before pumping their powerful wings and lifting into the air, each with a human dangling below them. They began to climb until they were so high that you could barely see the knights. [cue: horn]  There was a horn blast, signaling that one minute had passed. The dragons stopped climbing, straightened out into a brief glide, folded their wings back, pointed their heads down toward the earth, and began to fall. Quietly at first, then louder, Talora could hear [cue: screams 1] the knights screaming as if they were about to die, which, from her perspective, seemed entirely possible. So that was why they’d named this task The Scream. Then, she saw it: a red flag falling through the air behind Azrael, signaling the surrender of the female knight. Azreal’s wings opened up, he leveled out into an easy glide, and began slowly returning to earth. 

    Petra was still falling, though. [cue: screams 2]  The man’s screams could still be heard and had changed into some kind of panicked gibberish. 

    Just near the top of the stadium, Petra opened her wings. Almost without losing speed, she swooped over the stands, the man’s head nearly brushing the upraised arms of the people in the crowd. She started heading towards the tower. What was she doing? She wasn’t high enough. If she didn’t pull up, the man would smack into the tower at full speed. 

    The knight saw this. He began yelling, “Up! Up! Up, upupupupupup” His voice got shriller…he was getting closer...the crowd seemed frozen in fear…And then, the red flag came shooting out, cutting through the air as if the man was trying to knock down the tower with it. Petra shot out her wings. They instantly slowed, lifted into the air, and came to a full stop directly above the tower where she gently released the man. He was helped down from the tower to the field, where he looked at the crowd dazedly, gave a weak wave, then fell into a wide-eyed heap next to the other knight who had surrendered. 

    Talora was terrified. [cue: fade out crowd] If brave, adult knights couldn’t make it past the first two minutes, how could she? The other contestants were clearly frightened too - well, all except the stable boy, who was grinning from ear to ear, bouncing on the balls of his feet and looking like he couldn’t wait for his turn. Was he...okay?

    One by one, the names of the other contestants were called. Each time, Petra and Azrael would take the humans high up into the air and plummet towards the earth, [cue: screams 3]  and the screams could be heard for miles. What came next was worse though; Petra and Azrael began flying upwards in a tight circle, spinning the humans around and around and around and around. 

   The first time they flew this way, something happened. High up in the air,  some kind of spray seemed to project away from one of the knights in a circular arc. Talora was confused, but the announcer seemed to understand.

    “Ohhhh, watch out folks. Looks like our friend has decided to let us know what he ate for breakfast. Might want to watch your heads”

    He was only the first. There were few contestants who could avoid throwing up during this part of the flight, which the announcer had started calling “The Corkscrew.” And if it didn’t happen on the way up, it almost certainly happened on the way down. After several rounds of this, Talora could hardly stand to watch anymore. A few contestants quit before their turns had even started. Finally, there were just four left, including Talora. Only two had survived the whole five minutes and made it to the top of the mountain. 

    And then she heard her name. 

    [cue: crowd weird slow]  “Please put your hands together for our Knight-in-Training, Talora Shamsa,   flying with Petra the Gold, and Knight mwah mwah mwah mwah on Azrai mwah mwah th Black…..” Talora seemed to have lost the ability to hear. The whole world seemed to be happening in slow motion. Somehow her arms and legs kept moving, first toward the tower, then past the battered group of disqualified contestants. Would she end up a puddle on the field with them, or on top of the mountain, triumphant? She was moving slowly up the ladder to the tower, and there was Petra, waiting for her. Talora felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe she would be gentle with her? But then she heard Petra’s voice inside her head.

    “I’m not going to take it easy on you, you know. If Azrael gets more humans to throw up than me, then I have to hunt for him for a week. He’s ahead by two right now. Ughhh, typical.”

    Talora didn’t reply. As if in a daze, she sat down on the edge of the platform and lifted her feet. Everything went quiet inside her head. She had always been determined to be the best at everything, but in this case, there was nothing to be good at. She just had to…. she just had to make it. Five minutes. She looked at her red flag, and balled it carefully in her fist. She didn’t have to do anything. All she had to do was not wave that flag. “You can do this, Talora,” she whispered to herself as Petra gently gripped her feet in her talons. “You can do this. Just don’t wave the-” 

    [cue: bang]  The bang sounded, signaling the beginning of her turn, and Petra launched into the air.

    “Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggg,” Talora screamed, as she rocketed upward. Higher, higher, higher. She could see everything, only upside down. It was beautiful, and it also felt like certain death. Beautiful death. Talora threw up from pure fear. She heard Petra’s voice in her head: “Nice.” When it seemed impossible that they could get any higher, she heard the horn; [cue: deep horn] it had been one minute. Petra leveled out. Now Talora could see Azrael and his rider alongside them. Azrael plunged, [cue: scream 4] and Talora could hear the other rider’s scream. 

 “No.” thought Talora. “No. No. I don’t have to do this. Wave the flag, wave the flag!” but her arms somehow refused to obey, remaining pinned to her chest. 

And then... Petra dove, and Talora knew, without a doubt, that she was going to die. Terror was too small a word. Talora was, in fact, the only contestant who did not scream. Well, not so that others could hear her, at least. As Petra and Talora began to streak towards the earth, Talora’s mouth opened to scream but because her heart had stopped beating, and her lungs had stopped expanding, no sound came out. Her face, her entire body, really, were frozen in a silent expresson of horror. 

    Slowly she noticed the ground was getting closer. She could make out the announcer’s stand, and could even hear the faint sound of the announcer’s voice. She braced for impact. This was it. This was how she was going to die. She knew, logically, that she wouldn’t die because no one else had, but she couldn’t remember how she knew that, or if it was even right, or how she had gotten to this point in her life. It didn’t matter. Death was imminent. “Here it comes,” she thought. Just as she was bracing for impact, the ground started to shift and turn and she was moving upwards again. The cheering crowd was receding once more, [cue: deep horn] and she heard  the horn that signaled two minutes had passed. 

    Talora’s numbness seemed to suddenly disappear. She was alive, the flag was still in her hand, she hadn’t waved it. She was still a contestant. Everything came rushing back to her on a wave of hyper-awareness and sensation. But this time, instead of terror, there was something else. As Petra flew up into the air to begin the corkscrew, Talora felt a kind of calm, a peacefulness, suffusing her limbs. Here she was, being held by the feet, climbing up into the air again, but this time she didn’t feel afraid- a little dizzy, maybe, since they were spinning around and around- but not afraid. Her fear was gone. Her fear was gone! She looked down, and around. It really was beautiful. If she was right side up, she could actually see herself enjoying this. [cue: deep horn] She heard the blast of the horn. Three minutes. She only had two minutes left to go! 

    They were high up in the air, and Petra began the corkscrew down. As they picked up speed they were spinning so fast that Talora could feel her brain trying to push out the top of her head. The world was moving by in a blur, so fast that she couldn’t make out a thing. Before she knew it, Petra was slowing down already. Phew! That wasn’t so bad. She was going to make it. She knew it! She was going to make it! Talora could see Azrael sitting on top of the tower. His rider must have waved the flag. 

    Petra began to climb. The dragons had always flown this last leg out of sight of the stadium, so this was the one part Talora couldn’t predict. But she had never felt more determined in her life. Up she went, higher, higher, higher. A sense of dread started to build again; the longer nothing happened, the more scared she became. [cue: deep horn] The horn blasted. Four minutes. One minute left. Then she heard Petra’s voice in her head. 

    “I’m going to drop you.” 

    “What??” 

    “I’m going to drop you,” Petra repeated calmly. “When I do, open your arms and legs, like you’re trying to catch the air with your whole body. It will slow you down. If you do this, I can catch you. If you don’t, you’ll die. Aim for the lake.” 

    “No! Don’t do that please,” choked out Talora as the breeze whipped her hair across her face and she instinctively reached up to grab at Petra’s talons around her feet. 

    “I’ll give you 10 seconds to decide. Wave your flag, or get ready to fly.”

    “No! Petra! I can’t!” 

 “10… 9…”

    Talora knew she needed to succeed. Yes, she had always needed to be the best at everything, but it was different now, this wasn’t about winning- she was too scared to care about that anymore. 

    “6...5...”

    Her whole life she had felt squished, awkward, out of place. First with her family, then here in Durga. There had always been a tightness around her heart that she hadn’t realized was there until the last few days, when she had met the dragons. With them, the tightness had loosened, and then gone away. She had never felt “home” the way she had with these dragons, and she knew that if she gave up now, she would regret it forever. So she took a deep breath, and she clutched the flag with all her might.

    “2… 1… trust me,” said Petra. And she let go.

    [cue: Hope 2] Talora fell. She was alone in the sky. The only sound was wind in her ears, against her body. Falling. Falling. Falling. Instinctively she felt her limbs begin to windmill, trying to find something to grab onto. Then the memory of Petra’s words filled her mind. “Trust me,” Petra had said. “Trust me.” Talora’s whole mind, body, and spirit wrapped itself around the lifeline of those words. There was something she was supposed to do. What was it? Then, as if she was climbing those words like a rope, she found the other words Petra had spoken: “Open your arms and legs, like you’re trying to catch the air with your whole body.” Immediately Talora threw out her arms and legs. She felt the difference instantly. She was still falling, and fast, but she could feel the air pushing against her, flattening her out, slowing her down. This, at least, felt more like flying than falling. Then she remembered something else. “Aim for the lake.” She looked around her. Below her, and to her right was the mountain. Ahead was the lake. She realized that with small movements of her arms and legs, she could, in a fashion, steer herself. She aimed at the lake. For a moment, she allowed herself to feel like she was really flying. “I’m flying. I am flying. I am a flying person!” she thought and it… was… glorious… 

    Then she sensed something, and looked behind her. Not far away was Petra. Her wings were collapsed, her head was pointing down, and she was falling… falling fast… diving towards Talora. Inch by inch it seemed, Petra came nearer, and nearer until finally, she was directly beneath Talora’s extended limbs. As Petra’s body blocked the wind, the cushion of air disappeared and Talora fell directly onto her back, between her wings. Without thinking, Talora pressed her cheek against the smoothness of Petra’s scales and wrapped her arms around her neck. She could feel the muscles propelling Petra’s wings working steadily beneath her. 

    “Hold on,” said Petra. “Good job.” 

    “Is it over?” Talora asked.

    “Oh yeah, you made it,” said Petra. “You’re doing great! Up to the top of the mountain you go.” 

    Suddenly it dawned on Talora. She was riding a dragon. For real. Whatever else happened, she was one of the few humans who had ever done this. Then something else occurred to her. She was no longer afraid of heights. 

    Petra glided to the rocky top of the mountain and landed gracefully next to the other two contestants who had completed the flight. Talora slid off Petra’s back and her rubbery legs buckled underneath her as she crumpled to the ground. Next to her, lying on his back and staring blankly into the sky, was a knight Talora recognized from the Orange House, Knight Jorah Strong. And… the stable boy? Yes, it was indeed the rubber-boned stable boy who had been thrown into the stands earlier by Smudge. He seemed full of energy, and bounced his way over to Talora immediately.  

    “Thunder and Lightning!!” he said. “Can you believe it?! Can you believe it?! You just rode a dragon! I just rode a dragon! That dude over there just rode a dragon! I can’t tell if he’s okay, actually, he hasn’t said anything yet, I don’t know. I can’t believe it! We all three just rode a dragon! I was scared. Were you scared? I was so scared I peed my pants.” 

Talora looked down at his wet pants, it was true.

     “But I just kept thinking, ‘Look, Tom,’ oh I’m Tom by the way, Tom Thomas, you’re Talora, I know all about you, you’re awesome. ‘Look Tom,’ I kept thinking, ‘this is your chance! Every day it’s horse hooves and horse butts, but today you get to ride a dragon, upside down, and that’s a good day!’ But I had no idea. And that end part?!! OH MAN!! I was flying! I WAS A BIRD! This is the greatest day of my life. Tell me. Tell me everything. How was your flight? I want to hear everything.”

    Laughing shakily, Talora accepted his outstretched hand and stood up. She knew she was going to be good friends with Tom Thomas.