Our Kid Made It To The NHL with Tom & Ellen Atkinson

In this episode of Our Kids Play Hockey, we're joined by Tom and Ellen Atkinson, the parents of NHL star Cam Atkinson and four brothers who all played youth hockey. Their journey is a compelling tale of love, sacrifice, and the pursuit of a family dream, offering a unique window into the life of a dedicated hockey family.

The Atkinson’s discuss the complexities of managing multiple hockey schedules and how they fostered a sense of unity that helped their sons transition from local ponds to the professional rinks. This episode highlights the importance of balancing a child’s passion for hockey with their overall growth and development. Key to this discussion is Cam's experience with burnout, emphasizing the need for young athletes to have diverse interests.

We also dive into the impact of mentors in young athletes' lives, with a particular focus on the positive influence of Mike Backman on Cam’s career. Additionally, the Atkinson’s speak on the crucial role of community support in the development of young players.

This conversation goes deep into the effects of instilling resilience, building character, and creating a love for the game that surpasses the competitive aspect. We wrap up with heartfelt stories that underscore the importance of making hockey fun and the evolution of coaching that equally values character development and skill training.

Tune in to hear the Atkinson family's inspiring story of raising an NHLer. It's an episode that not only sheds light on the finer aspects of hockey but also celebrates the extraordinary people who nurture this sport and make it a source of joy and lifelong memories.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 1:45

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Speaker 1 3:38

Hello hockey friends and families around the world and welcome to another edition of Our Kids Playhockey, now powered by NHL Sensorina. I'm Leo Elias and I'm joined as always by my favorite line mates, mike Benelli and Kristi Kiasciano Burns, and today we are joined by the parents of an NHL player. Many of you know Cam Atkinson, who currently plays for the Philadelphia Flyers, but what you may not know about Tom and Ellen Atkinson is that they are the parents of five boys, all who have played hockey. Tom and Ellen met in Vancouver before moving to the east coast where Ellen is from, where they started their family. Ellen is the owner of Consigned Designs, which she has owned for 18 years, and Tom runs finance operations for a private hedge fund in Manhattan.

Speaker 1 4:20

And while we all know, as parents, we have our quote unquote real jobs. Hockey runs in the blood for this family. For all you listeners who have been asking us for another episode with parents who have successfully navigated the road to the NHL, this one's for you, tom Ellen, it's a pleasure to have you here today. Welcome to Our Kids Playhockey Good morning Good morning.

Speaker 1 4:40

Thanks for being here. You know I want to start with this question. We speak a lot on this show about the values of youth hockey, but I know that all of us who are parents in the game wonder what does it really take? What kind of sacrifices and determination from both the player and the parents does it take to have a child get all the way to the NHL? I know at one point in your lives you had kids on four teams at once. So why don't you tell us a little bit about the hockey journey as parents and the five boys that you have raised successfully? I'll put it that way Go ahead Ellen.

Speaker 4 5:15

I know you can't wait.

Speaker 2 5:18

It was all a blur, let me tell you, but it took a team, and Tom had to be a huge part of all this, because four kids at one time were on a team. We were so lucky that we belonged to a small little private skating club that backed the games up on the weekends. The mites, squirts, peewees, bantams, one played right after the other. So we were literally on the road when they were very small, watching four games at the least amount, four games a day every Saturday and then every Sunday back to back. We also had the help of others that if we had to go in two different directions, they would help us too.

Speaker 2 6:22

But quite honestly, tom, when they were young, we were together back to back at each arena throughout Connecticut, mostly watching games, and I mean Tom was a coach, usually of one or both. I mean, every other year our Cam and Tommy played together. So that was a blessing, because then it was down to three back to back games each day. But yeah, it was crazy. That was our weekend. Every weekend we were together as a family. Everyone came with us, all the boys, and that's what our life consisted of.

Speaker 4 7:07

Right, crazy, let's throw some in. Yeah, throw some advice out there for parents who are going through the same thing right now and feeling pretty chaotic in their lives and it's kind of hard to see the bigger picture when you're in it in the moment.

Speaker 3 7:22

Yeah, you really both. You have to, as a family, enjoy it. When we first moved here from Vancouver, we had no children and I was asked the coach at Greenwich High School of our city team, which I think I did for 11 years and Ellen would come to all the games and as the kids were smaller they would come to the games with us as well On Sundays. I was always taking them as little kids to the ice rink and skating with them, and then, as they started to develop, then I had to branch away from that and coach them individually. But logistically Ellen could be going in one direction and I could be going in another.

Speaker 3 8:05

We'd go up to Lake Placid and fortunately I did the Peewees and, I think, the squirts one year because the coach wasn't there and they were able to schedule me like I was getting off one rink to another rink and at one point this is kind of comical we were playing Chris Atkinson. I'm not sure if you know them from New Jersey there was two Atkinsons and we had two Atkinsons and those two were very good and our two were very good and it was Atkinson. From Atkinson to Atkinson to Atkinson.

Speaker 4 8:38

It was great.

Balancing Sports Pressure and Personal Development

Speaker 3 8:42

But those are the experiences that we would go to these tournaments and be able to experience the community, especially Lake Placid when I coached the Junior Rangers Peewee Major team for two years for the NHL division. So we were able to get a lot of really good life experiences. The kids would get billeted out in some situations but the team effort from us and Ellen and myself being able to buy into it and really want I mean you got to have both parents that want to do it. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, we did not have a girl, so not sure she'd be playing hockey or figure skating or doing something different.

Speaker 3 9:31

So we were all kind of in the same sport arena, which was good.

Speaker 1 9:36

You know it's funny. You guys mentioned Mike and I because we're all nodding our heads. For those of you listening to this and for the parents listening, we understand the divide and conquer mentality that it takes, especially when you have multiple kids in the game. And this starts with just two kids, right. When you have five kids, it gets crazy. The other quote we've spawned on this show that I think our audience really resonates with is that you're not crazy, it's the hockey world that's crazy.

Speaker 1 10:04

The hockey parents not the coaches, the hockey parents are crazy.

Speaker 1 10:08

They can be crazy. I wanted to move on to this before we dive into kind of Cam's journey into the league, because you guys are proud parents and it's very obvious of all your children and one of the aspects of your kids development that I definitely wanted to talk about was the awareness of burnout and mental health. We told us, actually, that Cam at one point was being invited to a USA hockey camp, which is a really prestigious thing, but it was clear that it needed a break. I was wondering if you could share that story and any others that you have about the importance of taking breaks and being mentally fit.

Speaker 3 10:43

That's an interesting story because it turned around in a way he loved La Crosse. He was very good at La Crosse as well.

Speaker 2 10:53

He also liked vacations.

Speaker 3 10:55

Yeah, he did like vacations. He liked, that's correct. The US Development Camp wanted Cam to go play for Team USA, which he did numerous times, but this was more of him getting an opportunity for exposure. He said that he didn't want to go. He said I need a break. We said that's fine. We took a break and he got boycotted a little bit, I'm sorry, what age are you talking about?

Speaker 4 11:25

I'm just trying to figure out his age.

Speaker 3 11:30

He might have been 10 years, 11, maybe 12.

Speaker 4 11:33

That young Wow.

Speaker 3 11:35

Yeah, it was pretty young.

Speaker 2 11:36

Maybe 13. He might have been a little older than that I should have asked him but he was definitely under 15.

Speaker 4 11:44

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 11:46

Yeah, and they were very, very disappointed, which came around in a year after that, but it turned out to be very good because Team USA came to meet with me and apologized for what it transpired, because he totally was like off the radar and he was good enough to be on that radar.

Speaker 5 12:07

Yeah. So I think that's two things right. Number one is the old adage if you're good enough, they'll find you right. If you're good enough and obviously you as a family have to read that and say, well, if we burn them out and he's not helping Team USA, he's not helping himself as an individual and he's not helping his teammates. You know we talk about this a lot on the show. Is that refreshing piece? I mean, one of the things I loved about the Atkinson family. I coached at Immaculate High School for 11, 12 years so we played against Greenwich a lot and I remember the boy. I'm like Jesus. Is there any back into? Not on a team here?

Speaker 3 12:40

We got a lot of that. There's more than one of them, so keep your head up. It's a broadcaster's nightmare. It just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

Speaker 5 12:48

But I think it's like, but just to watch his journey, you know, because we're in, I mean, if the audience you know doesn't know, you know you're in the world of patcher, ready and quick and like there's like all these kids that, and when you listen to the stories of, like the New Canaan Winter Clubs and the Greenwich Clubs and the Dorothy Hamill rinks, the, it was intense, I get it.

Speaker 5 13:08

You guys played a very intense hockey schedule but the free play and the opportunity just to be the big fish in a small pond and having the life balance of vacations and other sports lacrosse and baseball and soccer, like I just think that era in that time, with all these kids that have really developed, you know it was really really prevalent and obviously maybe you guys could speak to that a little bit about. You know the, not the, not even the pressure, but the, the, the non-pressure, saying hey, ken wants to play lacrosse this spring and the kids want to do these other sports. You know, do you think that was just because of the community you were in or is it because he was so good at hockey? Everybody's like, well, listen, let's back off this kid a little bit and let him do whatever he wants to do.

Speaker 4 13:55

Right, or maybe you saw some signs too, that we're showing that say ooh, you know, maybe we ought to step back and just let them be a little freer and not so intense with hockey.

Speaker 3 14:07

It was all him, I mean, he requested it and we honored it, or just accepted it, and and there was pressure. By the way there was pressure from coaches.

Speaker 2 14:20

I mean in some cases the lacrosse coach said it's us or hockey, this particular one. We didn't have a ton of money when the kids were little and our only vacation was in August. We would go to Ocean City, maryland, with my entire family and it meant so much to all the boys and Cam was going to miss it that summer because of this tournament and he's like I don't want to miss my one and only vacation. So, but going back to the pressure, there was a little bit of pressure for the kids. I used to fight it all the time. I mean, coaches were like we have practice on Halloween night, you are not going trick or treating. And I'm like yes, they are, they are going trick or treating?

Speaker 3 15:10

No, we did. We moved our practices to earlier remember.

Speaker 4 15:14

We would go yeah.

Speaker 5 15:15

Well, I think that's, I think that's my point Now is that is that you know, that's you as the parent, that's your job.

Speaker 2 15:20

Yeah.

Speaker 5 15:21

Your job is to say whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm the consumer, these are my children, like I get it. And then I was that coach too. I was like, listen, you got to be here and you got to be at practice. And we talk on this episode or on this show a lot about before kids and after kids. And when I was a 23 year old high school coach, I'm like there was no other thing going on in the world.

Speaker 5 15:41

But my team, like I'm like what do you mean? I can't tell you we have practice at two o'clock in the afternoon, that we have practice night at seven. I can't just throw that at you, you know, because people are just navigating the world and I think when you have kids and obviously you guys went through it as a, you know Tom is a coach without kids, and also now you have kids in the system you know it really becomes a, you know, an eye-opening experience to say, oh geez. You know I do have to give them Halloween. I do have to give them prom. You know the dance nights, I do have to give them the family vacations.

Speaker 5 16:11

Now, not every single weekend, you know, for 26 weeks but, you have to have that balance or we just lose these kids, we lose these great athletes.

Speaker 4 16:21

But you got to admit that that's hard to do. There's a lot of pressure on parents that well, if your kid doesn't make it Halloween night, he's not going to play the next game. Or if he doesn't pick lacrosse over hockey, that's it. His lacrosse career is done. There's a lot of pressure on parents to cave and to give it to that.

Speaker 3 16:42

And a lot of parents absolutely do, but the parents that understand or listen to their children, which we need to do really changes that decision, which I believe it may have taken us time taken me more time than you because you're always like let everybody play. No one wants to play for you and sit on the bench. It's got to be fun. And you know, you bring up the skating club, you bring up, you know, the winter club, all those I had all those guys on the team. I had Ben Smith, I had Max Patsch ready, I had Cam, johnny Quick.

Speaker 3 17:22

So I show up to a tournament and they're all in prep school and Mike, you'll love this story. So I show up and we go up in some man's plane that was able to get certain kids and you know what schools are like prep schools You're not getting out on Friday. Fortunately, john Gardner understood and allowed us to go. We went up with five kids and Johnny Quick. We show up and the ref comes over, goes dude, you can't play with five kids. I go, can I play? He goes yes, but do you want to? I go watch Johnny Quick and net. We beat these guys. I had John Backman, cam, tommy, and literally it was so much fun. The ref comes over and goes. I've never seen anything like this. But Cam fortunately got to play with some really elite friends and he's still really good friends with, like you know, patcher ready patches from New Canaan, warring, greenwich, downing's there, ben Smith, ellie, who was Nick, nick Benino, I mean all these guys.

Speaker 5 18:30

Yeah, all the so funny. My son plays a lot of. My son plays a lot like NHL 24. And he has a team of all Fairfield County players and they beat everyone. They beat, everyone they beat the day when they win the Stanley Cup every year, just just with Fairfield.

Speaker 3 18:45

County. I think it's five players on the ice.

Speaker 5 18:50

Oh, and that's awesome, and you know that. I don't know, maybe that says less about you as a coach, but I think it's. I'm a good recruiter.

Speaker 4 18:58

What hell are you going to go down about it? But I think, but again.

Speaker 5 19:01

Those are like when I look at these players and I'm in a good situation because I actually know these guys right and I watch like dude that's the Snapple Express years and all these other times and the comforts and the people I work with Like these for the most part.

Speaker 5 19:15

Like these are really well balanced you know, energetic, positive families and kids Like, like just again, does it help that their players were elite athletes? Probably only because there was a lot less pressure than than the other parent. That's push, push, push, push, push. You're like, listen, you could take a day off, you're, you're, you're. The coach is going to kind of give you a little leeway. But to your point, like when these come, when these prep school kids like they don't care, they don't care how much money you have, they're all. They all are in the same boat. That's the whole idea going to these institutions. But I see you guys, but I think finding that balance and finding the way to put kids together, I don't know, I just love that, the way those kids inspired each other and I mean, listen, I would have loved to see those practices because they must have beat the hell out of each other. I mean, you know, those guys really compete.

Speaker 3 20:06

Yeah, yeah, we had. We had a lot of fun with it. There was and Cam got to play, especially when I did, because, remember, the Peewees changed the birth year when I was coaching the junior Rangers team. So Cam went up with the 88s and then it's over to the 90s and I remember showing up there with a bunch of kids from Buffalo because they couldn't play because the Buffalo and the Hartford Whalers were having an issue over territory.

Speaker 3 20:34

So, believe it or not, I had Patrick Kane on the team but his mother, his grandmother, got very sick. So I had all those Buffalo kids and we showed up and played Detroit Little Caesars, cam's, this big, these guys. I had the Bennett brothers, I had all these monsters. It got into a huge brawl because I didn't realize. Buffalo and Detroit Little Caesars hated each other, and Cam's like I'm not going on the ice. So I had these 89 birth years with these big 88 kids and we ended up winning the tournament on the other side of it. So there were great experiences and it was always fun. We always seemed to be going out for dinners or go-karts or going and playing laser tag or doing something that you know, whether you're an Ottawa or whatever tournament. We always made fun of it.

Speaker 2 21:26

But just going back to burnout, I mean when we were at the skating club for many, many years and it, when I look back, it was really, really special, because when we moved the boys to Snapple, which is the team that you just referred to, mike one of my sons burnt out so fast and I'm imagining that's what's going on right now. I don't know, but I'm thinking most of our teams were in the Greenwich skating club. They were local or they were easy to get to within an hour or an hour and 15 minutes. When we moved to Snapple, all of my kids were in different directions and they were going to Philly, they were going to New Jersey, connecticut, they were going all over that.

Speaker 2 22:19

One of my kids said I'm done, I am not sitting in a car One more Friday afternoon. One more Friday night in traffic to get to a game for a weekend and come home on like I'm done. I don't know how Cam and Tommy continued, but that ruined us. So I have a feeling a lot of youth hockey now is like that. They're not staying within Connecticut or New York.

Speaker 5 22:46

Well, they're all the All-Star team. They're all All-Star teams. I just drove 10 hours from Pittsburgh last night, so I mean, I think, I think it's a nice job.

Speaker 2 22:54

I don't think we could have done that, Tom.

Speaker 3 22:57

I mean we were different. We did do it, al for a while Not with the skating club. No, no, not with the skating club.

Speaker 5 23:03

But I think I think that's the other to your point it's and we talk about this a lot here with parents is that that rush to that doesn't have to happen at nine and 10 and 11 years old.

Speaker 4 23:13

Right.

Developing Well-Rounded Hockey Players

Speaker 5 23:14

That doesn't have to happen, like you could find now, like you could find the same crappy 10 year olds to play right down the street in Darien. Then you can't in, you know Westchester, pa and I think, or Ontario or Toronto. Yes, I think it becomes this churning money business and we talk about the business piece of all the time. I know, I know we want to get the camp's career, but he's on the back.

Speaker 1 23:38

You know this is great. No, the audience is going to hold on, Don't worry.

Speaker 5 23:41

But I think this is like one of these things where you, as parents, right now going through that and saying, but she's, I'm, if I was in 2024, could I have done this with four kids and you know, could we have split, you know, all these families up. And we see it all the time, and I call it like the cams of today are just making it through the gauntlet, like they're just like, look at you, you got one of four Right, and it's like, and I'm sure they're all tremendous athletes, yeah, and good at everything they do. It's like who? But who can? Who can have the luck to get through the gauntlet and then make it through? And then it does become I mean, it's the funniest thing is like when you, when it gets to Boston College, right, it's easier like when you get the most fun ever.

Speaker 3 24:28

Boston College Right. But, all of a sudden it becomes?

Speaker 5 24:32

it becomes back to the Greenwich skating club. Yes play on every day, intense, fun, atmosphere, a More sane schedule. But it's funny how everything we do to get our kids to Boston College is Counter-intuitive to development at nine and ten and eleven years old and and we just look at me, say, well, this kid made it, yeah, but thousands didn't, thousands of failed.

Speaker 1 24:57

My Mike, you're saying that the key to getting a kid in the NHL is just to have more kids.

Speaker 5 25:00

Right, that's what it sounds like yeah, you gotta play the percentages.

Speaker 1 25:05

27 kids that all play. There's a good chance. You know, actually there's. No, there's still a low chance and nothing We'll make it.

Speaker 3 25:10

You know what? Mike has 27 kids. Sometimes I feel like it.

Speaker 1 25:15

Kids. As a coach, you know a couple observations here and notice. You know, last year I saw I won't say the tournament name, they and they have since changed this, but they had some elite teams travel to five different destinations around the country to play the same opponents and that was I was gonna bring that up.

Speaker 1 25:32

Yeah, it's insanity to me and, and you know, again, to the credit to that, to that tournament, they have changed it now, okay, but it's, you know, and it was kind of touted as exposure and I'm like, okay, if this was 1985 where it was no internet, maybe, but you know that we don't need that today. And it sounds like to me just listening to what both of you are saying, is that you were able to put an equal amount of effort into building them, not just as hockey players but as Right, and it's so important that we develop good people, because that's who become good hockey players, and if they don't become NHL players, that's okay too. I think one of you alluded before about the business nature of youth hockey and I think what's happened is that there's a huge bubble now around the business aspect and the elite aspect and the all-star aspect that we've forgotten about developing these young, young kids as kids, and I think that especially I want to, I want to impress this on our audience and please tell me if you disagree you spent the time on building them as people as much as the hockey player, if not more. The fact that you Again, I wanted to say this earlier and this is so cool.

Speaker 1 26:38

This is why I brought up the USA hockey thing. We say all the time on this show there really is not one tournament or one game or one event that's gonna make or break your career, right, that there are breakout events where your kid may get there and show up and it's like wow. But the truth is, if your kid is great enough, if your kid is motivated enough, it's not base. You can't base it on one thing and and I also love I wanted to bring the like this too, tom, that you said this the USA hockey came to you and and basically you know, made amends. I think that's worth mentioning again as well. Right, because, because at the time cam was coming up, I'd say that was the dawn of the mental health kind of time period of like oh, maybe it was a, maybe this is important time period.

Speaker 3 27:18

Where is now? We know it is in Connecticut that year because of it. Oh, it was like so. It was so silly that we just backed off of it. And then it all turned around and I will tell you, I've become close with the guys at Team USA because cam is played, you know, with a bunch of the guys over in In Europe and so forth. I've gone to two of those tournaments and those guys are serious guys that they're all about the development, but I think now they see the growth. I mean, it's one thing to have a good hockey player, but if you don't have a good Athlete, student, good person, besides being an athlete, it all doesn't go together right, right.

Speaker 1 28:05

I love that we're talking about that because I think a lot of people miss that. You know, in the younger youth development now we're, mike and I are seeing all the time that there's a tremendous amount of skill but there's not a lot of hockey IQ, there's not a lot of, you know, emotional IQ and we plead with everybody that you know this has to be part of what you're doing, right? You have to make your drill's fun. You have to make them enjoy it, especially at a young age.

Speaker 5 28:32

Go ahead, mike, I know I'm just saying like in the early 90s, like when I started Snapple Express, it was really because there was a void, there was nothing like I know you, mike, you know I cut cam. I cut cam. I cut cam, I think when he was 11.

Speaker 3 28:46

Now, all the kidding I was, we had good, we had a great summer that summer.

Speaker 5 28:52

Exactly, I had all the crappy kids, but I think it's like I think it's. You know, it's one of these things where, but it was a void, but now everybody is that like there was a. There was a there. There's no doubt that it's something in the in the late 80s and early 90s of the of the hockey world in the East Coast and Fairfield County In New York. There's a vote, there was a void in that, but now everybody's become that good, you know, and I think it's bad. I mean, I reflect back and say, well, how do you evaluate 200 kids on a sheet of ice in 15 minutes? You can't do it, and you know. And then I think the other point of that is instead, now, instead of looking for the person that's a good athlete, we were looking for the best athlete who cares what the kid was like? Who cares what the parents were like? Who cares if this kid was a psychopath or mom and dad were crazy, like now it's in USA, hockey is actually really done a great job of identifying the person first.

Speaker 4 29:45

And that's me.

Speaker 5 29:45

Well, let's inject the talent in, because now I can work within the team, I can work within travel, I can work within all of these other aspects and, long-term, this is the person I want representing our country. This is the person I want representing my team and I think you guys probably saw that so evidently in. Like your process going through Avon old farms and Boston College. Like when I look at a guy like Jeff Hamilton and I talked to him and say, well, what was your experience like at Avon old farms? And he's like well, that was where I became a man. Like that's where I learned all the things that I wouldn't have learned just being in a locker room and and on the bench and All these have to go through that maturation process. Some do it at 15, some do it at 19.

Speaker 5 30:32

And just, you know what it's a? It's a waiting game of same. It's a long-term athlete development world. Obviously, there are gifted children, you know, you know, caitlin. Actually our producer shared a social media post just recently about you know when, when, when, when, social life, and girls and Cars, and when they, when they get in the picture, it changes right.

Speaker 3 30:56

So I think that's why we sent them to Avon get away from all that Right right, make it make.

Speaker 5 31:04

But I think it's like one of these things where I think what you guys have done in the story you know that that's a success is that watching the boys, you know, kind of go through and be and be people first, and I'm sure people that are around you know that, like they know, okay, these are good people. Oh, by the way, that kid plays in the NHL like it, I think that's just. That's just a byproduct of food.

Speaker 3 31:23

Yeah, mike, another interesting thing if you guys do get to know cam and all our boys. Cam's always Acceptable, he's always accessible, he we do. We have a foundation that gives back to veterans and so forth. Cam and torts have obviously been friends away from hockey and they're Putting together to give a couple service dogs away. It's those kind of things that, regardless of the hockey but the community being, you got to be a good person and you got to be accessible.

Coaches' Impact on Player Development

Speaker 3 32:01

I remember when cam was younger some lady came up to me and she's like what kind of skates is cam using? My son wants to get the Same skates. And one of the things we taught our boys was you never know who's looking at you. You never know who's talking about you, so be careful. What you say, be nice to everybody, because I've never heard cam said this. Tommy said that you know Steve or all any of our boys. He said that about me and I think if you get away from the chatter, the gossip and All that other nonsense which exists everywhere, I think it just makes him a better person. And last thing, mike, get hammy on the show. I'm good buddies with him.

Speaker 5 32:46

He's so Kramer shy, you know such a, he's such an introvert guy.

Speaker 3 32:50

Trust me, I talked to him a lot.

Speaker 4 32:53

I have to tell you, even watching cam he he has great swagger on the ice. To me it seems like he's always got a smile on his face and when you watch him in the interviews, if if he messes up, he owns up to it. He doesn't try and you know, blame everybody else or the situation. He'll say no, that was on me. So I really admire you could tell he's just got such a great character, somebody for our kids to look up to. What was it like His first NHL game for you guys? I just I mean, I get it children's thinking about what it would be like in your shoes. What was it like when you first saw him step on the ice as an NHL player?

Speaker 3 33:40

Tom. Well, interesting enough, john Cam broke his tip fib and I'm just going to weigh into this story a little bit when he was at Avon and he literally fought his way and John Gardner gave him a key to get into the rink at midnight, late at night and he worked hard to get back on that ice. John Downing was a surgeon, or orthopedic surgeon for the New York Jets. He ended up and he had five boys, I believe, and Jack Downing played with us as well. Kids played hockey. John loved hockey.

Speaker 3 34:18

John passed away and I was at the funeral and it was the day that Cam was trying out for the blue jackets out of college. I'm looking and I want to correct me if I'm not saying this correctly, but looking for a psalm, like they have all the numbers. A psalm, a psalm, I saw all of a sudden. I'm looking everywhere. I saw 13, 13, 13,. He always was 13, 13. All these numbers came up. I've got a missed call. When I'm in the funeral, I walk outside and he goes. I made the team. It just so happens I'm from Vancouver. My family owns the Jell-O-Lack Chiefs. Langley Lords in British Columbia have owned it for 45 years. I think that they played Vancouver and they're playing against and I'm thinking of the goalie at the time, because he played at Boston College Cam gets on the ice and scores the first goal. Yeah, corey. So I meet Corey after he goes. Mr Ackle, I gave him an easy one to get him started and I think you were there, I think Tommy was there, some of the boys.

Speaker 2 35:31

The blue jackets flew us in for the home game.

Speaker 3 35:35

Yeah, it was so exciting and I fell in love with Columbus and I won a couple of really big 50-50s there, which was really more fun.

Speaker 2 35:45

I think Cam scored on that first game because I think, with the exception of him being hurt last year and one other year, I think he has scored in every first opening game.

Speaker 3 36:00

Yes, yes, in his career, that's so cool. It's just so cool, but yeah, it was so exciting yeah.

Speaker 2 36:08

He's amazed us from day one. I mean, the kid must have had a vision, or not even a vision, but he did it all on his own. I mean, he was determined and you know, Tom and I would look at each other because this kid was so tiny, even in high school he'd played Ben Smith. In the first school he would shadow Ben Smith.

Speaker 2 36:36

I mean the size difference was Ben Smith was double his size and I mean he amazed us. We had no expectations ever of any of our kids going to the NHL, let alone Boston College. Nothing, and I mean he just kept surprising us.

Speaker 3 36:57

Yeah, the most was Mike. I coach with Mike Backman. You know Mike, right, of course, of course.

Speaker 1 37:03

So, mike and.

Speaker 3 37:04

I coach and we had the Peewee or the Midgeot majors and Cam played on that team and Cam scores the overtime goal, puck bounces off and goes in. Now he's in 89, playing with 86s, and I'm like you know what Mike? Mike goes you have no idea what you have here and I go. But look at your kid, sean. He goes, my kid's in 86. Your kid's in 89. He goes. Do you realize that difference? He goes, your kid's going to the show. And it was Mike Backman that honestly, still to this day, has so much love, support and commitment to Cam as a younger player, and Cam does. When he's in town he'll go help him with his camps and things like that.

Speaker 5 37:50

Well, it's still cool to have him. So we're a really unique area here on a podcast with hockey parents because they know what 89 and 86 actually means.

Speaker 4 37:57

Yes, that's what I know, we're everybody.

Speaker 5 38:01

So if you're tuning in from soccer lacrosse then you'll need to look it up, but I think this is a non-age podcast, Just so you know. But I think having guys and I think every community, that's what we look for Like whether you're in Minnesota or Northeast or California, now in Florida and the non-traditional hockey markets you're looking at, you need guys like the Michael Backmans that are around that are professionals, Like they're not easy, they're hard, Like these guys are hard guys Chris Cheney that love their players.

The Importance of Making Hockey Fun

Speaker 5 38:37

I think like Chris Gerwig, I think about him Like a guy like him, is like a loving person, but he's hard and he's tough and when I see these tiny, these are the kind of people I love being around as a coach and being in these director positions, because you can trust them, that they're going to do the right thing, say the right thing, motivate the right way and they're going to get the most out of their athlete. Whether you're a tiny little player that maybe has some potential or this big, massive individual that people expect a lot out of you already. So I think it's like that's what's great about all these little hockey communities is that you've got to find those people, and I think Cam would be the first one to say it Listen, I'm nowhere without those people, like without those people pushing me. Yeah, it looks great where I am now, but all that, that diamond, was built by all this pressure I had positive pressure I had when I was a young.

Speaker 3 39:32

He had Marvin. For God's sakes, Mike. Well, I'll mention that.

Speaker 5 39:36

But yeah, but every minute. So you had the toughest at the top you had the toughest.

Speaker 1 39:41

Well, we're alluding to my next question here, which I think is important for the listeners as well. And, Tom, I know you were his coach for many years, but I'm interested in what made the great or horrible coaches stand out, because I think a lot of times as parents were looking well, who knows the game the best? And coaching is so much more than just knowing the hockey IQ. It's a big part of it, but it's really. Can you express that? Can you communicate that in a way that it's retained by the player? Because, again, I've always said you can be the best tactician on the planet. If you can't effectively communicate, it's irrelevant. So what do you think, from a development standpoint, of all your boys right? What are the best coaches and why?

Speaker 3 40:23

You know what? I coach them a lot. So I'm going to tell you from my wife's standpoint make it fun. And I mean this seriously, because I would have some kids that would come off the ice crying and I would go talk to them and they're like I just want to play. So I think, if you can make it fun we always made we would do a lot of skill set. But we'd do a lot of fun competitive skill set, true cones racing each other, doing things that they're. If it's not fun, if work isn't fun, I wouldn't be doing that. I'm just telling you and, if you can, the coaches they've had, they've seen it all and some coaches are different, but the coaches that got the most out of the kids were the ones that made the development fun. That's really what I would say.

Speaker 1 41:22

I love it, yeah, no listen, it sounds simple, but I think and Mike said this earlier like the younger version of me coaching, I don't think I understood that as much as I do today. Right, is that you have to make this smiling. If you're not, it's a game, and you hear the NHL players say that all the time. It's a game. It's my job now, but it's a game.

Speaker 5 41:43

Yeah, and to Alan's and Tom's point about them having to recognize that as parents it's so hard for any coach to accept the fact that that's the way they're going to run their team, because there's so much pressure on them Like what the hell? You just having fun out here, like a lot of parents, don't?

Speaker 1 41:58

see that I've gotten that. I've had people tell me that.

Speaker 5 42:00

Yeah, like well, these kids are having too much fun and I joke around like giving my little learn to play kids and stuff and like guys, if you're not, you're smiling out here. That's not a good thing, because we can't have you too much fun. It is hard work. This is supposed to be hard, so I think Hockey is zero fun, sir.

Speaker 5 42:15

I mean, and that's all these guys are. When you look at the professional level, at any profession, it's got to be fun. You've got to love coming to the rink. So obviously we've seen in camps had some tough coaches at the NHL level. And they think but there must be some element of fun in there, though, because you couldn't do it.

Speaker 3 42:38

Yeah, and also I will tell you one of the things in Cam will share this with you the coaches his NHL coaches and Columbus always struggled. He always stayed, he was always respectful. When, if someone was let go, he'd always reach out to them and it really has played well, because even when those coaches get on other teams, they go out of their way to meet Cam in a hallway and that is really cool to me for him, right, Right.

Speaker 1 43:13

Yeah, and I imagine you're just as proud of that as him being an NHL player. Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 43:20

I could be more proud of that. To be honest with you, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 43:25

Yeah, I think that to the parents listening when you listen to Tom and Ellen, I think that's a really important point you both just made Is that when you're lost in having an 8, 9, 10, 11-year-old and they're screaming or they don't want to wake up, christy and I just talked about this yesterday, about the joy but the strife of having young kids Right, when it's all said and done, in terms of them becoming adults. There's two parents of an NHL player saying that I'm actually more proud of the type of person he's become than the NHL player he's become. Yeah, right, and I think that's a note, go ahead.

Speaker 2 43:58

Just a little example. The other night Cam was benched. He was a healthy scratch. To me that's devastating. I want to kill. Like I am so competitive.

Speaker 5 44:12

I'm like oh my you didn't write an email about that. You didn't write an email about that. You didn't write an email towards.

Speaker 3 44:16

I had to buy a new TV though.

Speaker 2 44:19

The way Cam handled it, he with such dignity, like I was texting him, you know, and my outlook was so different than his and I was so impressed with what he was saying. I mean, he is just. It's hard whether you're a kid or an adult, I mean to be benched because you're not putting the goal. The puck in the net is devastating. Like he can't be more hard on him. There's no one harder on him than himself. That he's not putting the puck in the net, like he's a natural and the kids is the old team.

Speaker 2 45:06

He's a natural goal scorer and to be benched by the coach, who they have an outside love for each other, you know, it's like, oh my God, how come he's doing this to Cam, like it's not, like he doesn't want to score a goal, and Cam just is so reflective and he's like look, it's on me. I mean I need to be better, and you know I'll say some things to him that I'm not going to repeat but he's like no, no, mom, you're wrong.

Speaker 2 45:42

Like it's really, like I just, I just am going through a bad time and I just have to reflect and just keep trying as hard as I can. That's all I can do is I can control what I can control, and it's just so impressive.

Speaker 3 45:57

Yeah, I know how I feel when you yell at me.

Speaker 5 45:59

Yeah, I'm having a great time you don't count, you don't count.

Speaker 4 46:04

But I think it's but that's I mean.

Speaker 5 46:05

I think that's a great see. This is what I love is that you have this perspective, like I'm sure you guys are more upset, like you're up there like what the hell you know we got to send female.

Speaker 1 46:14

We got to call him. Let's find out what's going on.

Speaker 5 46:16

Like I'm, heated up right, but I think and I think. But the perspective is, you know well, do we need to do? We need to be that heated up with an eight year old, and I think this is where you know that's the lesson is like. We can't expect an eight year old to go back to mom and dad and say no, I got it Cause the eight year old is just going to parent the parent.

Speaker 5 46:36

And I think for now, I think the other side of this is being the parent saying hey, listen, the coach obviously has some differences. They want to get some motivation at you. They clearly love you or they like, or you got to spin it any way. You have to do it right. You're on your team and you know let's take some self accountability and let's make this work. You know for you.

Adversity and Training in Becoming Great

Speaker 5 46:54

Like how could we and we've talked about this all the time Like how do you take that experience and make it a positive? And then now we have to do it in a pressure cooker of us as parents and kids. Like we're all self-centered, like we only care about our kid, we don't care about the team, we don't care about what the locker rooms like. Like it's always. Like I laugh all the time. Like I can't believe they don't name that person captain, or I can't believe they don't have this person to go. You're not in that locker room, you don't know what that is like, you don't know what that player does in practice. You're just watching it on TV and I think you know and you guys obviously have a different perspective, you're living it. But I think having you know and it's okay for you to be emotional and pissed, but at the end of the day, the athlete has to take it.

Speaker 4 47:38

And here's how gracious he is, because I'm a reporter and I've had to throw the camera and microphone in front of athletes' faces who are pissed because of whatever happened in the game and they can be rude and obnoxious and whack you away but he had to face that camera and all those reporters asking him a question about his situation and he was so gracious and again he said that's not me, he took full responsibility.

Speaker 1 48:14

My heart was just being squeezed when I I can't imagine what it was like for you.

Speaker 4 48:19

Ellen but.

Speaker 3 48:20

I was like I can feel how difficult that was and he knew you were coming too Trust me he knew the night before I'm on the phone with him, he goes, oh so unbelievably gracious I was just yeah.

Speaker 4 48:36

And I think of those situations, too, with my kids, where I don't understand why they get benched, why they're sitting, why they're not out there playing and I want to ring that coach's neck. You know, and just like you, you just have to. You got to work through your emotions. Let the kids handle it and let them figure it out.

Speaker 3 48:56

Which is what.

Speaker 4 48:58

Cam is doing.

Speaker 3 48:59

Yeah, there's an old saying you love the one that needs it the most. So you need to give the love to the ones that need it at the time they need it, and with five kids, you got to share a lot of love at different times. Some needed it sometimes. Ellen yells at the referees. For God's sake.

Speaker 4 49:19

I mean, we used to hear it out in stairs.

Speaker 2 49:21

Well, I do, but it's in the privacy of my own living room.

Speaker 4 49:27

Yeah, I know, but I'm in the other room.

Speaker 2 49:30

Maybe the only one that hears me.

Speaker 1 49:33

I'll do something I rarely do on this show. The date is January 8th, 2024. And I don't know if you do both know this, but I live sorry in Philadelphia, so I've been watching Cam for his whole career. Now you may know him a little better than we do, obviously, but my prediction is this, knowing the type of accountability he has, is that, as we said, he's taking that benching and stride. I have a feeling when he scores a goal, the floodgates are going to open and I think he's proven that many times in his career.

Speaker 1 50:02

And the reason I'm bringing that up is not because I want to fact check me in 2027 to see what happened. The reason I'm bringing that up is because that is an aspect of a great player is that they can take the hit, and we see this in youth hockey all the time. The kid will take a hit, not be accountable. They can't recover.

Speaker 1 50:19

And, as Mike said, this is your opportunity as a parent to really look at the situation of what do you control in this situation? What can you work on in this situation? Can you bounce back? And I'm going to take it a step further. This is not a hockey skill, this is a human skill. I have always said you are defined by how you respond to adversity, not the adversity that happens Typically. You don't have a lot of control over the adversity. You have control how you respond to it and I think that your son and again he's proven this over his entire career, this is not a new thing is that when one goes in the net, the whole polarity of the situation is going to flip, and maybe John Tortorello knows that about him. Maybe he sees that about him.

Speaker 2 50:57

He does yes.

Speaker 3 50:58

He does Right. He knows them well enough.

Speaker 1 51:01

Yeah, that's. Another aspect of great coaches is understanding how to motivate a young player. And again, in youth hockey it's got to be done a certain way when you're getting paid, it's a job you have to understand another way. Another, not only two questions left. I wanted to ask this one about Cam2. I think this is an important one for the kids that listen to the show. Is that when he made the NHL, the work didn't stop. It wasn't oh, I've made it, I'm here. If anything, I'm sure he worked harder. Can you talk a little bit about the training aspect, the stuff that we don't see on television, that keeps him becoming an all-star, a great player, and worries that today?

Balancing Life and Hockey Importance

Speaker 3 51:43

So he worked with Mike Prentice in the summers. A lot of the NHL guys that come back to Connecticut, mike, you know who Prentice is. He just started to get into more of a routine, get more into health, getting into treatments, stretching, learning how because one of the things when he first made a pro he was taking a sign and goes. You know there's 84 games or 86 and whatever it is, and the younger guys seem to get out of the gate for 20. Yeah, lose some staining and then some guys just fall right off and end up in the minors for a while just because you got to fill that role.

Speaker 3 52:23

So every year, unfortunately, now that when Cam's been in Columbus he owns the battery, so he's got his own ice, his own training facility. He's up early and he's pretty gluten-free with his diet. He's really true to you, know his body and listening to his body and nutrition is key for him. Working out and doing it early, not taking the month off after your office. That other month getting back into it is worse. So he doesn't start. He might take a week off, but I think nutrition, staying up on his health and just training he's getting strong.

Speaker 2 53:07

Getting strong yeah, but he's not. And putting weight on in the summer putting weight on because a lot of weight comes off when they start the season.

Speaker 1 53:17

That's an interesting perspective, good point.

Speaker 5 53:19

And he's a big gel stick guy, so I like him like that so.

Speaker 3 53:24

So I think you need some gel sticks. No, I got too many from Lounsbury.

Speaker 5 53:27

Lounsbury sends me gel sticks.

Speaker 5 53:29

I go through those a lot with our kids.

Speaker 5 53:30

We're a big like so so watching Cam and the batteries are a great example actually of finding places that you could be not in practice and a non-traditional hockey related working out but having a long-term view of development.

Speaker 5 53:48

Like, say, okay, I really got to work on like I remember just listening to interviews, just the gel stick was a good example of just saying, well, if I can add five mile per hour in my shot or shoot from 10 feet farther out, that's a couple of million dollars in my pocket. Like, if I can increase my performance. And now if we can start putting that down level by level. If you're 10 years old and you can just increase your performance just a little bit by understanding that if you're going to a tournament that it can't be Chipotle and Taco Bell it's got to be getting up in the morning, having a routine, having a good breakfast, hydrating, staying and like the kids like I think most kids don't get is the whole process of after the game and the recovery process starting, because when you're 12 and 13, you probably can play, get up and play.

Speaker 3 54:39

And either big back, yeah, and you could do that.

Speaker 5 54:41

But when you're in college and now you're in pro and you're in, you know again, and I'm sure they get a lot of resources, but they don't have those same resources given to them in the season ends, like during the season. It's probably much easier for them to be playing.

Speaker 1 54:54

You know, mike, one of the things I want to bring up and this is something I've noticed from pro athletes, really pro people right Is the pursuit of perfection, knowing that it's not achievable, and having that higher level goal right and that higher purpose that you know you really can't achieve, but in pursuing it you achieve so much more than if you just try to okay, I want to have this many goals this season, right, which I'm not saying is not a good goal to have. I'm just saying that infinite game that term I always like to use from that Simon Sinek book. If you end up pursuing the infinite game, knowing you can achieve it and you can accept that mentally, it's an amazing place to be in, right, because you're loving the journey, right. And I think that's another thing we forget sometimes. And again, look, it happens to all of us in your life there's moments, there's things that happen that take you, they knock you off course, right, and it's hard. And again, going back to what we said earlier, it's how you respond to that.

Speaker 3 55:52

So, lee, one of the things also that we've kind of haven't really touched on is life in general. These are young men, these are adults, they're family men, they have children, they have wives. They've got dynamics away from the rink. Cam comes home. Natalie is an absolute rock star Because, honestly, you got to buy into. What is my husband? What does our family need? Right For everything, just because they're traveling a lot and he brings the kids to Voorhees, he brings them to the rink. I got a call yesterday from Declan they call me Googs, by the way and Ellen's Tammy. I'm sorry, but that's our nickname.

Speaker 1 56:35

Amy and Googs. That's how we're gonna rename the episode. It's like a big date of moron.

Speaker 3 56:42

I'm like, well, what's going on? He goes. It's my first day of hockey.

Speaker 4 56:46

And he goes it's something.

Speaker 3 56:48

And then he goes into something else I get to bring lunch to school, so Cam will get up and probably bring them to school head over for the pre-game skate today. He gets to spend time with them and I know how much those children now they have Fallon has changed his life and that's what people don't realize. These are real people with families that have kids that are sooner or later are gonna go through everything that everybody's listening to on this podcast in the next 10 years and it's cyclical and but to see how they as a family are with the family, it's amazing.

Speaker 5 57:31

Yeah, I got to watch Max Pascharelli's try it out with our brick team up at Stanford and I was laughing watching him. I was watching him pacing back and forth and back and forth and I was like, hey, everybody's a parent at some point. And I think you're just watching your kid, like you got to just please do the right thing.

Speaker 3 57:52

Hey, Max, if you don't like it, buy the team, Right, you're just like. It's definitely a better spot.

Speaker 1 57:58

I'll say this too, that, tom. We do a lot of team building with our groups and in our businesses and one of the things I coach coaches on is that if you had the same players, the same roster, every season, I'd ask the question do you have the same team? And I said the answer is always no, because life happens and, as you said, when you get to professional coaching marriage, divorce, kids, injuries, parents, life, life- happens Life, life happens.

Speaker 1 58:28

And I love that you brought that up and it also allows me to bring you on for another episode which we maybe will do but no it's a good point because I think let's talk to the fans of the NHL listening to the show, just very quickly.

Speaker 1 58:39

You see so little of these people's lives and when you work in the game you start to realize that you get a lot of empathy. You see so little but we are so judgmental on what they should be doing a better game, knowing absolutely nothing about the tactics, knowing nothing about what's been in the locker room.

Speaker 5 58:58

And so.

Speaker 1 58:58

I always try and kind of just I always say fans are insanely important to the game. There is no doubt about it, but it's. Can you give a little bit of grace to the understanding that you know nothing about what's going on in that room?

Speaker 3 59:13

You know what Fans, fans and parents are really the entertainment of the game.

Speaker 1 59:19

That's a book we're gonna write.

Speaker 3 59:22

We're writing a lot of books here. Do I have to like underwrite this stuff? No, that's where we come in.

Speaker 1 59:27

We're building a new business here right now. It's called Gats and Gammie's Guy and Goose, goose and.

Speaker 4 59:32

Gammie huh Goose and Gammie Aki, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 59:36

Last question for me. There are a lot of parents obviously listening to this show and let's be very realistic, we've all had that thought of you, know, I wonder. I just wonder if this kid of mine can do something in this game, whether it's a positive thought or a negative thought, as two parents again of several boys, one who's made it to the NHL, had a very successful career. Speaking to the parents, listening Any words of advice, wisdom for them about the journey as a whole, Education first.

Speaker 3 1:00:08

That's what we went for. That's why, when Cam could have gone to the development program, fortunately we had the financial resources to send two boys to prep school. It was a hockey school, for sure, and John Gardner really wanted the boys there. But on the same hand, like when they wanted him to go to the development program, I'm like guys, I want him to get an education. That's key to us. More importantly, he knew, I believe as a freshman he got a full ride to Boston College, I believe. So he knew very early. So that was really everything that we had hoped for. Our boys, tommy, went to business school at Boston College. They both played hockey. I mean, sometimes you just don't know, you can dream about it, but we were.

Speaker 2 1:01:01

I need to just say something that you're correct, in the older, with the older kids high school, maybe late middle school. But I will tell you the struggles I had in elementary school because I was the one that was taking the boys out of school on a Friday afternoon, and the amount of anger and pushback from the teachers and the principal. It wasn't easy and all I kept saying in my own head and heart was that Two hours of school, of sitting down in school, is not going to outweigh the experience and the learning that they're going to get with a team and travel and play, because it's all a learning experience. And I kept saying that in my head. Am I right? Am I right?

Speaker 3 1:02:04

And I felt in my you got in trouble for that?

Speaker 4 1:02:06

What's that? I did the same argument and my kids got detention, so I don't know. You know what I'm saying. That's my argument.

Speaker 5 1:02:14

That's my wife's argument all the time Back. Like we go to Pittsburgh, he's like okay, well, we got to go to the Andy Warhol Museum, we got to go to the Steve Museum. We got to go to the tram we got to go do these other things that when you're in there you can't just sit in your hotel all day.

Speaker 4 1:02:27

but if you could come back and I personally I wish You're 100% right and I always try to convince the teachers ahead of time hey look, we got this term, but we're going to the hockey museum. We're going to be seeing.

Speaker 5 1:02:44

I wish more teachers would take that and say okay, we'll send me a paperback on the Andy Warhol.

Speaker 4 1:02:47

Museum, exactly. So keep listening. He's up on us, okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 1:02:54

And the game you're talking about, believe it or not, it was for the New York Rangers junior team going to Feewee, Quebec. We're a planet, Madison Square Garden in New Islanders.

Speaker 2 1:03:03

That's a pretty big story. Yeah, I mean that was just one of the situations.

Speaker 3 1:03:07

But that was a big one that we got in a lot of trouble for.

Speaker 2 1:03:11

Yeah, I mean, I had teachers tell me because Kim had a language deficit believe it or not, you would never know it when he was in school and his speech therapist would sit there and tell me if you don't start reading to him, or if he doesn't take books with him, he'll never get into college, He'll never improve on his language and it would kill me, Like it would kill me as a mother. I felt so deficient. I was exhausted by the way, with so many kids.

Speaker 5 1:03:45

But so whether we know it or not I was exhausted at night.

Speaker 2 1:03:50

So I didn't really read to them all that much.

Speaker 1 1:03:53

Ellen, to your point, it is all about balance to me. I think at the end of the day. That's what you're both saying. Is that you know? Look, I like some of these old cliche phrases. It takes a village.

Speaker 1 1:04:04

It does raise a person, and I think Christie, Mike, you know you said it too. It's like what I like to do is I go to the teacher in the beginning of the year and I say, look, my kid plays hockey. And there's probably going to be a few dates where we come to you and say he's got a tournament. What I'd like to do is work with you on those dates to find a way to continue his education. But he also has to live his life, and now he's in elementary school right now, so I haven't had any issues yet.

Speaker 5 1:04:28

Okay, it's coming, you wait.

Speaker 1 1:04:33

I think there's an aura of you know, trust your gut a little bit with this, I think, and again, it's also balanced If your kids really struggling in school, right, you have to have that conversation right, because, adversely, I'm not for rewarding them with hockey if they're not dedicated to their schoolwork Right. But again, that's not the scenario we're talking about here.

Speaker 4 1:04:53

But, ellen, I appreciate you being so honest here. I mean it wasn't easy. You had a lot of struggles, you had some battles. It's difficult now. Oh yes.

Speaker 3 1:05:01

It's more difficult now because back then the problem was they. They see more concern with listen. You're taking this group out of school. Four or five kids and all these other kids have to stay in school, and they're the ones upset, not really us. It's how it looks with others.

Cam's Hockey Journey and Family Values

Speaker 1 1:05:18

I mean again, that's an opportunity to me. It's an opportunity for the teacher to to. Here's a way to communicate now. Here's a way to talk about it. Why don't we? Write on our classmates instead of saying that why are they getting out of school? I think that those other kids play violin and do other things. I mean it's a balance, it's a community. We've again I don't want to get into soapboxes we have lacked the ability to see the value of a community here over the last 10, 15 years probably longer yeah, right.

Speaker 1 1:05:44

Those are so easy to create, where you can create an environment for people to work together, and this is how I'm going to spin it.

Speaker 3 1:05:52

Successful hockey teams do that Right, so Lee what we did is? We would all just call it sick.

Speaker 4 1:05:57

Yeah, yeah no.

Speaker 1 1:06:00

What did you get? Pick one COVID, the flu.

Speaker 3 1:06:04

I think. I think COVID did exist back then. We have still never knew what COVID was.

Speaker 4 1:06:08

A little tip hockey parents if you are going to call in sick and go to hockey, don't post on Twitter.

Speaker 1 1:06:14

They just have a hockey haul of things, and we don't have that either.

Speaker 5 1:06:18

You got to do the serious doers.

Speaker 4 1:06:19

I'll see that.

Speaker 5 1:06:21

My wife. See my wife, sue, honestly. She's like what has ever happened to me.

Speaker 3 1:06:25

I'm like but one last one last interesting story. We were contacted, ellen. I'll let you share this story about doing like a podcast when we were younger. Share this with them because this is really kind of before it's time and interesting, but go ahead, I'll let you share it.

Speaker 2 1:06:46

It wasn't a podcast, it was reality TV.

Speaker 1 1:06:49

Oh no.

Speaker 2 1:06:50

It was. Reality TV became famous before Kardashians, before anything. And somebody contacted me and said I would love to put a camera in your van while you're in the car with all your boys and do a whole reality series on it. All on conflict. And I turned around and said my boys never fight. I'm like no no it's not going to work out.

Speaker 1 1:07:20

There's no conflict.

Speaker 2 1:07:21

Yeah, you would have been a YouTube sensation.

Speaker 4 1:07:26

I think I would have.

Speaker 2 1:07:28

I think I would have, but I'm just not the type of person that could put out my family that way.

Speaker 1 1:07:33

Luckily, we can all do it now on our own with our phones.

Speaker 2 1:07:36

Yeah, very true.

Speaker 4 1:07:37

We can. We can If there's anything. All this is a real tick tock. Now we can do that right now. So, yeah, we have the hockey parent of the week.

Speaker 1 1:07:44

now, when we're all just recording it, guys, listen, that's our time. I was going to say, mike and Christie, do you have anything else you want to add before I close?

Speaker 4 1:07:51

this. Yes, I'm going to start the children's book goose and Grammy tomorrow.

Speaker 2 1:07:55

It's Gammie. It's Gammie, goose and Gammie.

Speaker 1 1:07:57

Goose and Gammie.

Speaker 3 1:07:58

Goose and Gammie.

Speaker 1 1:07:59

Goose and Gammie Children's book Try hockey.

Speaker 2 1:08:02

Tomorrow my little, my little three Caden, cam's middle called me. Gumball.

Speaker 1 1:08:08

Gammie, gumball Gammie, I'm always bringing Gumballs.

Speaker 2 1:08:11

Even better, even better, I know.

Speaker 1 1:08:14

I love it, I love it. I'm going to be amazing.

Speaker 4 1:08:20

Thank you so much for sharing your story, thank you. Very inspirational and fun. And it was a lot to really think about too.

Speaker 3 1:08:29

Yeah, we did, Mike, Mike. I'll leave you with one last thing. I coached the Boston Icemen. I had 17 kids 17 kids that played in the NHL from PK Zupan. Think of all the 89s, hayes, cam, that whole group. I literally had 17 kids on that team. We went undefeated for three years. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 5 1:08:53

I mean, as a local hockey dad and hockey person in the area, you know where you guys grew up with your kids and we certainly really enjoyed your journey and you know what the boys have done and certainly with Cam's done and I think it's you know it's great for it's great for the area and it's great to see him you know doing what he does outside the rink and off the ice and all those great charities is involved in and the different you know business opportunities he's doing outside the game and we talk about.

Speaker 5 1:09:21

that's really what this podcast is just finding. You know, letting parents and kids, you know, because there's so many hockey players that listen to this and you know they're in the car and they're driving home and they're driving from practice like, oh okay, I could do a little bit of this and a little bit of this. I better get my grades up. I better, you know, maybe communicate with my teachers a little bit better. And you know and just understand that it's your. You know you, if you love this, if you're a player and you just love this like KM Acton said, loved it then you're going to find a way to get what you need to get. Yeah, and you're going to and you're going to make sure you take care of all the things you need to take care of and you better hope you have great parents and a support system that can help you get there and certainly they that your boys have had that.

Speaker 3 1:09:59

Yeah, and Mike, you know what? There's a lot of single parents as well, and that's probably even more difficult.

Speaker 1 1:10:04

Yeah.

Speaker 3 1:10:05

And you know we've always had to work around that and help those kids and make sure that we got them to the games and we're supportive and you know they had supervision and things like that, so it's more challenging as well.

Speaker 1 1:10:19

Well, I'll say, I really hope it works out for that Johnny quick guy you were talking about earlier.

Speaker 3 1:10:24

I mean, you know what he's doing. Great, I hope you're listening, johnny. You know you're a knucklehead.

Speaker 1 1:10:30

You're never going to change Three Stanley cups later. I think he's doing all right.

Speaker 3 1:10:33

Yeah, he lives in our town. Which he's there, stalls there. Who else is up there?

Speaker 2 1:10:41

Oh, I don't know, but when Johnny quick was a young boy coming to a game to play at the Greenwich skating club, his dad got a flat tire on the way and guess who drove by, not knowing who it was. But Tom saw a man and maybe you might have seen hockey gear in the car, but you stopped to help the kid get to the game. Oh my gosh you didn't even know it was Johnny quick and his dad, we've been friends a long time in his hall

Speaker 1 1:11:12

of fame speech, he better say there was this one time my car.

Speaker 4 1:11:16

That's right, that's right and it was Tom Atkinson.

Speaker 3 1:11:20

If I knew who it was, I would have made sure he never made the car.

Speaker 5 1:11:23

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I have no room in the car for you.

Speaker 1 1:11:27

I can't wait to have you laugh to get his parents on the show too.

Speaker 4 1:11:30

Yes, Tom, I get to.

Speaker 1 1:11:33

I have loved every second of this episode. I know the listeners will. Yeah, it was a lot of fun, so I just want to, before I close it out, thank you both, not just for your contributions to the game and this podcast, but thanks for just being great people. I think that's that. It's just. It's so important that we share stories like this and share these these types of you know like like tips and tactics and the things that we do is parents, because it takes a village right.

Speaker 3 1:11:58

And it really does.

Speaker 1 1:12:00

Yeah, so thank you so much for being on today.

Speaker 2 1:12:02

Thanks, guys Thank you.

Speaker 1 1:12:04

That's going to do it for this episode of our kids play hockey, powered by NHL sensor, and remember you can listen or see all of our episodes at our kids play hockeycom for Tom and Ellen Atkinson, mike Vannelli and Christian Cash. You know, burns, I'm Leo Elias. We'll see you in the next edition.

Speaker 2 1:12:17

Bye, our kids play hockey.

Speaker 1 1:12:19

Take care, bye guys.

Speaker 2 1:12:20

Thank you Bye.

Speaker 1 1:12:22

We hope you enjoyed this edition of our kids play hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value. Wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network or our website, our kids play hockeycom. Also, make sure to check out our children's book when hockey stops at when hockey stops, dot com. It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of our kids play hockey and we'll see you on the next episode.