Our Kids Play Hockey

A Deep Dive into Hockey, Parenting, and Life Lessons with John Buccigross

February 03, 2024 Our Kids Play Hockey Season 1 Episode 213
Our Kids Play Hockey
A Deep Dive into Hockey, Parenting, and Life Lessons with John Buccigross
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode of "Our Kids Play Hockey," we have the privilege of welcoming John Buccigross, a renowned figure in ESPN's hockey coverage and a passionate advocate for the sport. Known for his in-depth knowledge and love for hockey, Buccigross shares his journey as a hockey dad, broadcaster, and advocate for youth and college hockey.

Key Highlights:

  • Buccigross's Hockey Journey: An exploration of Buccigross's path from a passionate hockey fan to a leading voice in ESPN's hockey coverage, highlighting the integral role of hockey in his family life and career.
  • Parenting in Youth Hockey: Buccigross shares insights on the delicate balance between providing encouragement and applying pressure in youth sports. He emphasizes the importance of energy, creativity, selflessness, and affection in nurturing young athletes.
  • Coaching Challenges and Rewards: Discussing his own coaching experiences, Buccigross talks about the need to adapt coaching styles to fit the diverse needs and sensitivities of young players, ensuring a positive and growth-oriented environment.
  • Redefining Winning: The conversation shifts to the concept of success in sports, advocating for a broader definition that includes teamwork, perseverance, humility, and the personal growth that comes from participation in sports.
  • Impact of Specialization: Buccigross expresses concerns about the trend toward early sports specialization. He advocates for a more balanced approach, encouraging kids to participate in multiple sports to foster a broad skill set and prevent burnout.
  • Support for ACHA and College Hockey: Highlighting his support for the American Collegiate Hockey Association and college hockey, Buccigross discusses the importance of platforms that allow players to continue their hockey careers beyond youth sports.
  • Tribute to Barry Melrose: Buccigross pays tribute to Barry Melrose, discussing their friendship, Melrose's battle with Parkinson's disease, and initiatives to support the Parkinson's community.

John's journey offers a compelling look at the hockey's impact on family, the development of young athletes, and the community. His stories and insights provide valuable lessons not just for those involved in hockey, but for anyone navigating the challenges of mentoring young individuals.

Call To Action

Check out https://www.assistmelrose.com/ to buy shirts in support of Barry.

Speaker 1:

Hey everybody, this episode of Our Kids Play Hockey is brought to you by our title sponsor, nhl Sensorina. Look, we all want our kids to succeed in hockey, but let's face it, finding training that's both effective and enjoyable can be a real challenge, and, not to mention, expensive and a total drain on time, especially if you have to drive to the rink, pay a private instructor. There's so many reasons that money gets spent on this game, but that's where NHL Sensorina steps in. It's a virtual reality training game that brings the rink into your home, that takes off-ice training to a new reality. It's designed to improve hockey sense and IQ, something that's lacking majorly in the game today, for both players and goalies, and you get unlimited access to over 100 drills and training plans from top coaches and players that can be played anytime, anywhere, with drills approved by USA Hockey, player and Goalie Development Directors. Look, improving mental hockey skills at home has really never been more fun, and any hockey player that uses this is going to have a blast. I've used this before on my own and it feels like you're so immersed in an arena you sometimes forget you have a headset on and again, it's not being on the ice, but it allows you to work on some of these skill sets, like scanning, as I said before, hockey IQ, looking around the rink, making the right plays, that getting those repetitions in now as a hockey player are super important for your development. So NHL Sensorina is giving all the listeners an exclusive offer for $50 off an annual plan when you use our code HockeyNeverStops at checkout. Again, that's HockeyNeverStops. All you got to do is go to hockeysensorinacom Again, that's hockeysensorinacom. Use the code HockeyNeverStops and you'll save $50 on your annual plan of NHL Sensorina. Make sure to check that out and enjoy this episode of Our Kids Play Hockey.

Speaker 1:

Hello hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome to another edition of Our Kids Play Hockey, powered by NHL Sensorina. You've got your top line back again this week. I'm Leo Elias, with Mike Benelli and Christy Cashiano Burns, and today we are joined by someone who has escorted countless hockey fans through many incredible hockey memories and moments. He has been a centerpiece of ESPN hockey coverage in journalism and broadcasting just about 30 years and has been a beacon for everything great about hockey for as long as I can remember. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome John Buchagross to the show. John, it is an honor, sir, to have you here today. Welcome to our Kids Play Hockey Thank you, you're too kind.

Speaker 3:

It's great to be here. I love talking about hockey. I love talking about kids and youth hockey and so it's always been a passion of mine since I was a little kid. I was like 12 years old. I couldn't wait to be a dad. I was a little different as a little kid. I just couldn't wait. That process of a family and coaching and honing and guiding has always been like I said, I was born with it. So I'm sad it's all over for me. I started young and I'm all done now, but I still enjoyed it and still hopefully I can contribute here in the future.

Speaker 1:

I would say that you've contributed quite a bit. I love to hear you say that you love to talk about hockey, because we see you talking about hockey every single day of the week and I'll tell you kind of a return story. Really weird I actually went to a Halloween party in elementary school as a dad once. I thought that was the coolest thing. I kind of share that. I think that's a little weird looking back, but a very proud father today. So, john, again, we all know you as a broadcaster, all right, but as you alluded to, I want to introduce everyone to you as the hockey dad. Right, you coached and parented kids through hockey. Tell us about that experience and what it meant for you and the kids.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, you know, I was a dad at 26 and 28 and 33, so I started a little young, especially with this current generation. At my generation it was probably about average. Like I said, I couldn't wait to start a family and get married. So yeah, I was introduced to hockey about my dad who grew up in the Boston area. So I always knew a lot about the sport and followed the sport and collected hockey cards and watched the games and listened to the games and consumed the game like I did.

Speaker 3:

Football, basketball and baseball Most American kids just stop at those three. But hockey, because of my dad, was just part of my vernacular. It wasn't a weird sport or a niche sport or a freak show Like it was back then because of the fighting and things like that and the bench clearing brawls. It kind of had a circus atmosphere to it, almost kind of like punk rock small audience but really, really passionate. So yeah, it just was always there. So when I got the ESPN it served me well to have that niche.

Speaker 3:

The line wasn't very long behind the hockey department so I say I'll go get in that line. There's only a couple of people over a year there the football line and the baseball line and the basketball line is really long, so I'll go in that short hockey line. It's served me well and then, yeah, then to have my kids raising them in Connecticut and to have the access to rinks and to hockey and to get them involved at a young age. First fret and then Jack yeah, it was just a natural. They played everything and hockey was just one of them as well. But you know, brett played through but a couple of years of prep school through high school and Jack played from age six travel right through high school as well public high school in South Windsor, connecticut. So it was a big part of my life. Like I said, brett started probably about 1998 and Jack graduated in 2017. So it was a pretty big about 20 year run of being pretty involved.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, involved and very passionate about it. You also gave lots of great advice along the way too, and I love what you said. You need to have an abundance of four things if you are a parent of a hockey player energy, creativity, selflessness, affection. That says it all to me. I read that, I took that to heart and always kept that with me whenever I stepped into the ring. So important. Maybe you can share, especially with some of our younger parents who are listening now, why those are such important virtues to have as a hockey parent.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I had a very affectionate dad and mom and I had a very positive.

Speaker 3:

My parents are very positive, especially my dad. My mom probably had to play the bad guy more than she'd like because she probably thought my dad was too soft, but I never heard a negative word from my dad. I guess had a lot of affection. He was my best friend growing up. I always said if my dad was a drug dealer, I would have grown up being a drug dealer probably. Thankfully he wasn't. He was a great dude and he loved sports and he loved people and he loved his family and he was just a moral and ethical beak in my parents. They're just almost like angels or almost just extraterrestrials. So you just don't meet people like this. And my dad passed away 13 months ago. My mom was 92, still alive, just so positive, cheery and chipper. She's never down, she never whines, she never complains Like a hockey coach would love her Literally never complains and so, yeah, so I had that as a model and then it's just my nature is to coach up, to make people comfortable, to make people feel good, and yeah, I just think it's so important to get down to their level as well.

Speaker 3:

Like a big thing for me was to get down when you talk to a young child and a young hockey player is to get down on one knee and look them in the eye at their level. Just imagine you look down on them. I mean you're literally at that age. You're twice their size, sometimes maybe three times, but really about twice that. That's like us looking up at a 14, you know, like a 12 or 13 or 14 foot person looking down at us, whether they're yelling, which really is counterproductive, or even just being, you know, intimidating. So you have to always remember that ratio that you're twice as tall as they are that you. It's like us looking at a.

Speaker 3:

I look up at Scott Ben Pelt, who's six foot. I'm six foot, I'm a pretty tall dude. I don't come across many people taller than me. So what I do, like Scott, even a six foot six guy who's only that much taller than me, he looks like man. What a monster you know. So just imagine as a kid looking up at someone twice your size. So yeah, that's the big thing is getting on their level, looking them in the eye, making a connection, and then everything else kind of goes from there.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, I think you know, knowing your history and your background and kind of some of the people you've been around I mean being a youth hockey dad and then being broadcast around pro hockey players and then you know your relationship with guys like you know what I consider like some of the real core forefathers of building like the USA hockey long-term development model and guys like Kenny Roush who you really you know obviously have been around and understand I mean, what are some of the things that you would tell the parents about that journey? You know your own kids seeing. You know you're around all these college athletes all the time now and obviously the pro guys, but just about you know the different little intangibles that you've seen that separate a hockey kid from some of these other athletes you're around all the time.

Speaker 3:

Well, the big word and going back to parenting, and one of those core four I talked about was sacrifice and selflessness. And that's why so many hockey kids grew up to be so humble and have such great manners and respect is because they see that sacrifice unspoken throughout their lives. They see their parents get up at 6 am and take them to practice in a cold rink and hide their skates and drag them around and they might not quite get the costs for a while, but then they sometimes they probably feel it as parents worry about bills and worry about debt and things like that. They might hear a parent verbalizing, complain a little bit, and that's natural, and so they might realize well, this does cost more than a kid who plays basketball, who just basically pays 50 bucks to the rec department. My parents are right now car payments, you know, three times a year for me to play hockey. So I just think they see that unspoken sacrifice and it just kind of offsposis, it just kind of gets into their being and they know.

Speaker 3:

Now, sometimes a kid doesn't notice that or maybe he's not coast up enough and he might be a little spoiled, but you very rarely come across a spoiled hockey player, and so it's just that sacrifice, that selflessness, and then, of course, that carries on the ice with block shots and being a good teammate, and that's why I always love my son Jack. I could still see him as a Mike in a squirt. When somebody else scored a goal. He was more excited than when he scored a goal, and that makes me emotional, just verbalizing it, like I just, oh, I was so proud when he would do that, and so that was just so big for me. And so just that selfless system, that team and that bonding is the big thing.

Speaker 3:

And talking to Kenny and just again the education that we all go through in life, whatever topic it is, how we can get better, how we can look at things differently, how we cannot maybe think like a politician or who's always right, who wants to kind of maybe go into groups. And then you have other people who always have to be right, other people, of course, maybe, who think differently. I want to learn, I want to try to stay down the middle because I want to learn and maybe get better and like, obviously, someone like Kenny and USA Hockey early on, one of their early mantras that was really difficult to get through to parents was that you're better off practicing and playing. We should have more practices than games. But a young parent, especially growing up in the 60s and 70s and 80s, when winning was everything and that pressure, whether it was the Olympics or whether it was professional sports, they want their kids to play, they want a scoreboard, they want a winner, they want a loser and once they realize that, man, we're better off practicing for it.

Speaker 3:

And then, once they go, then the data when the kid plays a youth hockey game, he touches the puck for about 15 seconds over a one hour hockey game when, if you could practice, maybe you can touch it for 20 minutes, and that's obviously how is he going to get better. It's like a piano kid just touching the keys six keys for over one hour, as opposed to actually playing for 20 minutes. Of course, the one piano player is going to be better than the other piano player. So that was a big thing with then small area games that USA Hockey really started to push and but yeah, those guys, those men and women, are just so committed to doing what's right for the kids from a hockey standpoint that it was always very impressed by them.

Speaker 4:

Well, and I've seen that like just just, but you know, just thinking about like just a couple of weeks ago, walking in the South Windsor Arena and seeing like just, and that selflessness is there, like a hockey kid, a little six year old, is carrying their bag in the rink and they're dragging it in.

Speaker 4:

And you know, you're a soccer player, you have a pair of shin guards and maybe you're wearing flops to the field and you throw your cleats on like. So all of this you know taping your stick and learning how to buckle your helmet and knowing you know how the equipment goes on. And you know, and a lot of our new parents you know that listen to the show, you know depend and really you know use us as kind of a board of like, okay, well, what should I expect? So you know, maybe what's one thing you could say you know from seeing the journey, you know what should you expect your, your, your five and six and seven year old to be able to do? And then where is that line of like, oh, you got to tell you got to be tough enough. If I see you, you know, I know coaches like if you don't carry your own bag in, you're not allowed to play hockey, but I'm like maybe I'm not a really bad guy myself, but you know maybe a little.

Speaker 4:

You know where's the line between hey, how do we keep these kids in the game as long as we can, and where is it where? Listen, you're just not. You know, you're just not teaching your kids the values of you. Know what it is to be an athlete at that age.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's a fine line. As a parent, I always thought I walked it pretty well. You know, I parented hard and I coached hard. I had that look. One of the most important things a parent can have is has that look. This is, it's a. This is not going to happen. Look, when we go to church, you're just not going to act up. That is not going to happen. You're not going to scream in the grocery store. That's just not going to happen. We have to walk out and you know I've told my son I'll pick you up at one o'clock and if it's 10 after one. I left one time and it was hard, but I left.

Speaker 3:

Once I had my kid through his club on the golf course. We walked in. You know I didn't do that stuff a lot, I just picked my spots. I had a lot of patience because as faces they're young, it's difficult. Their brains are growing, they're underdeveloped, they're trying to problem solve. It's difficult for anybody, even through 14 years old. We tend to get, you know, really impatient at that age, when that's the most difficult age, especially for young boys.

Speaker 3:

You know it's really difficult for young boys and and so, yeah, it was that fine line of coach and luckily my youngest son, jack, liked to be coached hard. He liked an organized coach who screamed and had things in order. Jack liked order. He could deal with the yelling. That's fine. But again, some kids maybe can't deal with the yelling. They have different sensory situations and as a coach and teacher and parent you have to understand how your parent differently and coached differently. It isn't just one way and that's the way coaching has really evolved. Well, at the professional level and I hope at the youth level Again, I'm not around it as much anymore, but it is it's not one size fits all and you have to kind of pick your spots and you have to kind of look at the parents, how the parents raise that kid. Maybe they have to go the other way. Some parents are soft and maybe not even connected with their kid. Some are too overbearing. So then you really got to pump that kid's tires and tell them what grade he is.

Speaker 3:

So you do have to observe that the parents, I think, from going to a hockey coaching level and just really observe the parents and try to get it to be a quick study on what kind of parents are they, how are they parenting, and then try to slowly guide your coaching towards that to get the most out of them. And ultimately, like you know your question about what to expect, like I always try to tell parents, like if your kid makes the high school hockey team, what that's a gigantic accomplishment when they're six, seven, eight, nine, 10. I mean, you know my son's high school at about 1200 kids and there was only 15 spots on the hockey team. You know that's an amazing. Those are tough odds to get to. So it's not. It's not the NHL, of course, it's not even a college scholarship. It's a. It's trying to make your high school team and to make it fun, make it demanding, give them structure, because you know kids want structure, they need structure and that, again, that's what a hockey practice can do, because it's fast-paced, because it's one hour, because the time is valuable, because it's difficult to get there.

Speaker 3:

It's difficult, but yeah, you know, jack, luckily, was tying his skates his first year of Squirt. He wanted to do it. But yeah, you want the kids to carry their bags as much as possible and if they have to pull it because they're little I mean, jack was 50 pounds when he was a Squirt, you know 40. He's not going to carry that bag. It's going to be hard to carry them. He still did it a lot of the times.

Speaker 3:

So there has to be some mercy, some some affection, as I talked about, while you balance out with structure and demand and push, because that's how we get better. Most of us get better when we're pushed and you do have to push a little bit. Some push themselves a lot and so that's why you maybe be more cheerleader. Others don't push themselves and you push them and push them. And, like I said, some kids are ultra sensitive. Some kids are, they can take it. So again, it's reading the room and that does take some of that's natural in a human being and as a parent and a coach and others have to maybe work on it a little bit. Yeah awesome.

Speaker 2:

I always love to roll to Jersey on a hanger. You carry that Jersey, show respect. So many kids just shove them in the bag, but we always follow the John Butcher Grass rule.

Speaker 2:

That goes on the hanger. Show your Jersey respect. Are you concerned at what we're seeing with parenting now and the push towards specialization and the push toward, you know, making your kid faster, better, stronger, sooner? A lot of kids are even dropping out of youth sports. I think a study just came out showing that there was a decline in youth sports just because of the amount of pressure that they're feeling to perfect everything.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, that's you know. The kids are definitely more isolated now because of the phone, which is real such a tragedy. It's so sad. They have options to quit and just to kind of live with their phone in their room and that's enough for them and that's how most people meet other people. It's how most people date us on. Most people get married I mean this generation. Most of them will end up marrying someone they met online or somehow and Now some ways. That's okay Because you can vet people that way and kind of maybe, which is in ultimately, you know the goal, I guess, as opposed to going out and in in college You're at a bar, like we kind of did, or at school or classes or something like that, or in the professional world, which is probably the best place to do it, because then you can really observe people you know and how they work, what's their work ethic, how they respond to pressure.

Speaker 3:

So that's probably the best way to meet somebody's probably had work and so you can really see how they react. And, plus, there you know they're young adults too, as opposed to just kids. But yeah, you know, it's weird. I think parent, like you said, parenting seems to either be overbearing or disconnected or doesn't seem to be much in between anymore and the specialization you talked about. Usa hockey for years has pushed all around athletes. We want athletes play multiple sports, play change of motions, sports like soccer and hockey and basketball. We are changing the pivoting and turning and tumbling and they know that's the best.

Speaker 3:

But you know some of it is economic. You know the cost of tuition and this is so outrageous and so counterproductive. I think that has permeated the mind of a lot of middle-class parents and who feel like I how can I afford $60,000 a year to send my kid to a good school? Because they want their kid to go to a certain school, because they Feel like they don't want them to fall behind, even though we know now, if you just go and get a degree at any place, it's the education you teach yourself and the drive and the motivation you have after that really is the difference maker. There's a few places that can obviously like a Wharton business school at Panda.

Speaker 3:

I was going to put you in a great position right away to make money and be connected, but those are so few and far between most of us. You can go to a state school. You can live at home for two years and then you can go to go to on campus for two years and you will not have that big debt that we see, that we read about and talk about. There's ways around that. You know, to go to a state school, live at home for a couple years and my cost of ten grand a year, like it's really affordable, you can really do it if you have to and and so, yeah, it is overbearing and for some it's some disconnected and and that's why, again, and and that starts right away, this you get, that starts to the young age. If a kid is already kind of soft and coddled, you're not going to change that at 12 and 13 is going to be hard for a coach then to figure that out. But in the end we just have to realize that we're not raising professional athletes. We're, at the most, we're raising high school athletes.

Speaker 3:

Someone and I always mentioned that I want, I want to my kids it's like hockey, because they're around a lot of peers, a lot of friends and it was such great exercise. You know, practice two days a week, play two times a week. They're going to build lower body strength and they're going to use their heart and lungs and they're going to create these athletic habits when, hopefully, they realize who eating well is important. I could be a little better if I eat well and I can train well in the summer, and I have a goal and I have an aspiration. So those are the things that I always focused on More than you know wins and goals and championships, with all that ancillary stuff that athletics Can teach you in terms of diet, fitness, quality of life.

Speaker 1:

You know, john, one of the things you're bringing up that is, is something we talk a lot about with coaches is Redefining what winning is right. There's always the black and white scoreboard terminology with it, but winning is everything. You just said hey, let's become better citizens, let's learn to eat better, let's work out, let's become a team, let's learn how to work together. You know, I'm a big subscriber. Today, it takes a village to raise someone with the teams that I coach and I try and I try and explain that to the parents and most of them here before the season of like, look, we got to help each other here. It's not one and done for anyone here, and you know I think that that's a really important part of the game. But I would say, redefine what winning is. It doesn't have to be on the scoreboard. You know, in prep for this episode Was reading one of your older articles from 2017.

Speaker 1:

That's where we're getting the energy, creativity, selfness and an affection. It was a beautiful article, but something that really hit me that I want to share with the audience and my kids are 10 and 7 and I'm Chris Christie. You have shared this kind of thought with me too, but you wrote if you give your kids everything you have inside you, they will eventually give it back, and there are days that I absolutely need to hear that. You know what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 2:

Many times. Yeah, that's what.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to make sure I shout it out Christie, too, maybe you both could could just quickly dive into that, because I think sometimes, when Maybe you're running late and they don't want to pack their bag and they're dragging their bag and they're not, you know, you know you can get to this point of this, isn't worth it, and everything shows that it is absolutely worth it.

Speaker 3:

Could you guys?

Speaker 1:

do that for a minute.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it was always worth it for me. Yeah, there are moments where he's getting dressed in the car because we're a little bit late, driving to that prep school in the middle of nowhere in Connecticut and that for especially that first kid, where we're really we probably do probably Over parent a hair on the first kid and then by the time we have our third or fourth, third juggling knives and their high chairs, I was like, yeah, whatever, he's fine, you know, it's that. That's really the great side. I would say, the first parent, parent, the first kid, parents, you know, really try to calm them down a lot and to say, hey, this is, you know, you can step back a bit. I got this. Less is more with Jimmy and with Sally, she, she's gonna feel your pressure, she's gonna feel your stress and then she's gonna get stressed. But you know you, yeah, I mean, but you know it's.

Speaker 3:

You know winning is important. There is a scoreboard and there's nothing wrong with trying to win that game and that is a skill set in life and it's why athletes do very well in the business world and do very well in the stock market and Wall Street and you know commercial real estate and things like that because it's competitive and you have to grind out, you have to battle and that's part of winning. That's what the winning can reflect, the battle, the final score can reflect the battle and the and the smarts and the self awareness and the sacrifice of block and a shot. It's although that's why winning does matter. Still, there is a scoreboard and it is a good way to test us and to kind of show us where we can improve and how we can, because in the end, you just got to get the job done. Like I'm going back before, like this is just not going to happen, you're not going to act that way, and just like when you go to, when you're competing, it's like we have to get this done. There is some of that and we're going to try to win this game.

Speaker 3:

But again, like I said, my I helped coach Jack when he was a Bantam, his last year at Bantam, and the coach I worked with. The two of us we did not have a power play unit. We did not have a Puk K unit. Who's ever up the line is next. Everyone played the exact same. Maybe, if we're down one late and we pull the goal, we might shorten the bench of hair, but very rarely, and the kids know that and they appreciated that and I think it gave them a sense of empowerment.

Speaker 3:

No, because nothing worse than a kid who gets short ice when they're 10, which happened to my first son and what that does to their self esteem, and they know it, they know what's going on and that's very. That can be dangerous again for a developing kid with a mind that's at different levels of development, as different levels of sensitivity and sensory you know as well. So got to be really, really careful there and that's when winning that. That's the balance we talk about. Right Is everybody should play, especially when they're writing checks to play. Everybody should play. When you get to high school it's a little different. We get that and you know it's a, it's a little more hierarchy and and some of the kids are ultra competitive and some are not as competitive and so that's again and that's going to a lot of times in the real world. That's what determines the success of learning. But yeah, and the funny, the funniest thing is the kids at that age, no, too.

Speaker 4:

They know, like they don't want to see your teammate getting sat. It's just like, like we're on this together, like you keep. You keep preaching that you know we're a team and we have to work hard and we're a practice, I'm sure, for practice, just like you are Now. Again, there's certain kids that they haven't been at practice in four weeks. You know maybe they shouldn't be on the ice for the last minute of play, but you know these kids are working hard.

Speaker 4:

I see that in high school all the time, like I like, especially depending on what high school you're at, but if you're in a local public high school, anyway you need to play. You're there every day. You've got to find a way to get that kid on the ice and get them being some part of that team. Cause why would you go to practice every day? Like, what is the motivation? Like because they want to be in front of their friends. And I'll tell you right now, knowing from different players you know players at the highest levels on their high school team they want that kid to play. Like they want that fourth line kid on the ice. They want to be on the ice with that kid because that's because that joy is seen in the classroom, it's seen in morning meeting, it's seen after school at a different sporting event, like I think we lose sight of.

Speaker 4:

You know a lot of that because we as like a lot of us, as coaches only see the kids, for you know, two hours out of the day You're spending all that other time with all those kids and those families and again there is a time and a place for for cutthroat winning. I get it, but, but there's. But there's also and you've seen it, you know, doing the college hockey broadcast and doing all that with these guys are going to be playing pro hockey. Not every, not every guy on North Dakota is playing pro hockey, right, so you see how those guys react to each other and the joy on the benches. And that comes from, you know, great coaches and great people being there supporting each other every day in practice. So we don't get to see, we only see the. You know the 60 minute game.

Speaker 3:

But I think it's. You know, yeah, it was strange I'd go to a high school game and see so many kids who would get dressed, put their buckets on it and they'd sit in the bench. They don't play at all. I was like that's, that's so strange. They can, they can take a shift or two a period. They're you know, they, these kids can play a little bit. You can protect them a little bit, but yeah, you've got to reinforce, like I was, like you said, because I remember, you know, I wrote a book with Keith Jones and he talked about you know how Eric Lindross, he would just when you have that power as a superstar and you keep looking at the coach, and and yeah, there you go.

Speaker 3:

He talked about how Lindros would just look at the coach and when they give, when the superstar gives the coach that look, that means I'm going on the ice now. But what happened was he, he took ice time away from the fourth line and then they don't feel like they're part of the team and then the team is less than it could be because you don't have the full, you know, arsenal of personality and effort going towards one common goal. And that's why, again, another negative of a short bench is. That is that the rest of the team does. And, like you said, there's some other kids who know, who want those kids to play, and they feel a little bit oh man, this is as good as it could be. Yeah, everyone wants to.

Speaker 3:

That's the great part about sports, is the cause, is the goal, and getting galvanized as a group and going together. That's that's what every professional athlete misses when they retire. Is that all for one, one for all group? And especially nowadays, kids need even more, like I said, the more isolated not just kids, but everybody's more isolated than they've ever been. And because it's easy, life has gotten easier and the phone has made it easier and so, as a result, people are getting isolated. So that's where sports still holds its magic. It's why it's still popular. It's why it's probably growing in popularity. Football is the most popular TV show on television now. By far more than any other TV show that's on TV is our football games, and the rest of the sports world does pretty well too.

Speaker 1:

So, john, I know we only have minutes left. Two things One, I want to plug the book Jonesy. This is one of the greatest but also one of the funniest books I have ever read in hockey in a positive way.

Speaker 3:

I know there's none left. There's no more left. I know I've got one. You have one.

Speaker 1:

It's valuable. It's signed by him too.

Speaker 2:

I got it signed by him too, and we got to talk about Barry too before we let you know. Barry, melrose, please.

Speaker 3:

I know you put a lot for him.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so sad. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's a couple of years ago and he kept working and then he had to finally retire after last season. Because it's just, you know, tv is difficult as it is and it's you really need to be able to recall information quickly. And it was so sad just for someone who was so witty and so much fun and so quick witted and so good at TV, for him of all things, to get this dreaded disease really in his mid to late 60s Still a young guy Could have worked for another eight, 10 years. It's really heartbreaking. And so, yeah, so we're just, you know it made some t-shirts up and try to raise some money for Parkinson's the Michael J Fox Foundation, which Michael J Fox, also Canadian. He got his in a very young age, of course. His diagnosis came in his 30s and but, yeah, I was able to.

Speaker 3:

When Barry called me with the news and I called another fellow right away, I actually had played in a charity golf event which Michael J Fox was in the group. It was actually for this broadcasting foundation that helps out broadcasters who are struggling and it's a net and Michael J Fox was just a part of that tournament and he, it was really inspirational just to watch him. You know, as the day went on he got more tired. Obviously the Parkinson's you can see the effects of it more and more as the day went along. But man, you talk about grit and determination. He kept playing, kept playing.

Speaker 3:

This was just outside of New York City and that sleepy hollow golf course, and it was just something. So I was able to make another guy in that group who I played with, the TV guy Ray Cole, I Soon, as Barry called me, I got off the phone and I talked to Ray goes, or any way we get Michael, because I know he had a connection with Michael. Oh, that's all because he played with us and because Ray was a TV, abc TV executive and of course Michael's sitcom family ties was on ABC. So there was an ABC relationship and sure enough he was able to go.

Speaker 3:

Michael's people and the next day Michael J Fox called Barry and talked to him. I was like jeez, how blessed am I that you know the biggest TV star of the 80s and I was a kid you know, I'm a little younger than Michael J Fox, were about the same age, though when he's a superstar 23 year old I was a struggling 23 year old. I was able to call someone and get him to talk to my friend who needed it. It was like man, wow, how blessed am I to be in this business of sports and television that I could actually it was one phone call get that guy to talk to my friend who really needed. You know, obviously at that point, guidance and what can I expect and ask him any question you wanted to ask. So, yeah, it's still difficult.

Speaker 2:

Right, you mentioned the t-shirts. How do we get one?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I you know it was a pre-order. I think they're going to go out pretty soon and Funny at the top of my head right now it's either assist barry or barry assist calm.

Speaker 1:

We'll get it out for everyone. I'm also gonna order.

Speaker 3:

I also ordered some for myself to put on my website to make it easier. Okay, I know people sometimes, yeah, so that'll also be a period soon. But yeah, they're probably not hard, and I think I actually linked it on my Twitter.

Speaker 4:

I think it's a assist Melrose, calm looking at it, because I'm we are going to put that on our.

Speaker 3:

It's such a cool logo. You know it's funny, you know you're an icon. When someone can make a sketch of you, not use your eyes, nose, mouth.

Speaker 1:

And you know.

Speaker 3:

That's an icon. I mean you put me up there I would look like any. Any car salesman you know like, but very, that's very, without using facial features.

Speaker 1:

So Let me tell you this in closing is that's a perfect segue. You might not know how far your your career has reached, and we've had other broadcasters on this show too, and I want to. I want to pay you a compliment again in closing. When I was a teenager, you were voicing the national games that I was dreaming about, and then I started my career as an ACHA player and then an ACHA coach, and you have been a massive supporter of the age ACHA college hockey, and I can tell you now, looking back, that that league is also on the map because of your support. But and here I am on a on a show with you today I want you to know that you were a massive Motivation for me, a mentor for me, even though we've never met, and that it really is an honor to be here with you today. But my life is the game of hockey and you played a major role in that and I want you to know that and thank you for that.

Speaker 2:

Right, and I have to thank you too, because I reached out to you when I first wrote the puck hog series. Yes, it asked you if you would give it a review and you gave it the most beautiful review and it helped elevate the status of that book. And you didn't even hesitate, you just thank you. You didn't even know me, just some kid from Syracuse like who's this past, and right away you read the book and you gave me them the most beautiful review. Thank you for that.

Speaker 4:

Appreciate you. I have nothing nice to say. My, my son my son walks in with his college hockey hat and his English teacher's cringe, so you know I was the overtime challenge. Stuff has been great. It's brought so much attention to the sport I think a lot of people wouldn't even know something like they. Like the people get into it. You see, I'm sure you see hundreds of thousands of people chime in in that you would go man, this person's a hockey like fan, or I can't believe they're really into this game. So it's really cool.

Speaker 3:

Oh, so lucky. I'm just, you know, right place at the right time. You know, I was 30 years old when the internet really kind of took off and so, and then corporations got involved with television networks like Walt Disney, body, spn, and so I was just the right age at the right time to kind of go through that ascension of Television, the entertainment, when sports became part of entertainment. Now it's obviously a challenging time with people cutting the cord and social media, but, like you said, social media opens up a whole other avenue of communication. I was able to create this boot you overtime challenge just out of a fun win. We it's a game we used to play on NHL tonight and then call a chalky. It was just kind of. Once I was named voice of the frozen four in 2013.

Speaker 3:

I just want to give the sport, wave the pom-poms and give. I didn't felt the sport was getting the proper respect, especially some of the players. And then same with the club hockey. There's you know, there's very there's not a lot of opportunities for the play D1 or D3 hockey, and so these kids are Are certainly love, they love the sport, they're competitive and they probably, I probably, I probably relate to them more than obviously the Big D1 athlete.

Speaker 3:

You know I was like you to want to a D3 school and I played intramural sports, play little, you know a little, a little varsity sports, but to me, just that competition at that age was important and it was part of my life. It'll always be a part of my life. I met my friends that way. I met peers that way, people I wanted to be around to make me better and, and so everything I do at work as a reflection of who I was at that age and those kids and Really who I am now. And so it's a new. I keep trying to be. So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a fun process. I love life. It's wonderful. There are so many amazing blessings.

Speaker 3:

I'm grateful every day and and hockey is like I said, it's been such a jewels to me, it's such a huge part of my life. It's been there since I was a little kid with my dad and it's been in my career the whole time. You know, my first job was like Cape Cod and my first boss was Martha Cusick. She was the daughter of Fred Cusick, a Hall of Fame Boston Brewing Broadcaster, so I always had a hockey connection From there and on the Providence, rhode Island I saw my first frozen four. I started covering college hockey Brown and PC and the women and the man and and then, course, go to ESPN and get named host of NHL tonight and then that just has. The hockey is taken With me, you know, just all over the world and now and has just enriched my life so many way with relationships.

Speaker 1:

Well, you may not have the mullet, but you are an icon. Yeah, I just want to again thank you for giving us some time today. But really, john, thank you for all you've done for the game and will continue to do for the game again. They overtime challenge over a quarter million dollars raised on that one. It's fantastic, man, and I appreciate you using our new medium of podcasting and being here today.

Speaker 3:

It looks great. This is awesome and, like I said, there's any parents out there who have other, you know, direct questions. They saw you know. My email address is very simple to ESPN it's John dot butchegross at ESPNcom. Most of us, you can reach at ESPN just by putting up in our furs and last name. Some people have an initial, but most of us 90% just put a dot between their first and last name at ESPNcom and I'll be happy to certainly converse with any hockey player, and he does.

Speaker 2:

I can say that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it works for you.

Speaker 1:

It works.

Speaker 2:

He actually responds to you. It's fantastic. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1:

John. All right, that's gonna do it for this episode of our kids play hockey, powered by NHL Sensory, and, as you can imagine the busy life of a broadcaster, john has to get on a flight right now. So again, we think we appreciate the time and again you can see or listen to all of our episodes at our kids play hockey Com. Refer John butchegross, mike Manelli and Kristi cash in a burns. I'm leo, I us. We'll see you on the next episode of our kids play hockey. Skate on everybody. We hope you enjoyed this edition of our kids play hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value. Wherever you're listening whether it's a podcast network, a Social media network or our website our kids play hockey comm. Also, make sure to check out our children's book when hockey stops At. When hockey stops calm. It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of our kids play hockey and we'll see you on the next episode. You.

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