Empire Wreckers
A Star Wars actual play podcast using the Fantasy Flight Games system. Each 3-season campaign follows a group of intergalactic misfits as they try their best to save the galaxy... or destroy it.
Empire Wreckers
S14E06 - Harbinger
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Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Star Wars Empire Wreckers, the Star Wars Actual Play podcast. That is unprofessional. Who's ready to just kinda today?
SPEAKER_05And if you fact check on anything that she says, she will go awkwardly silent for the rest of the conversation.
SPEAKER_03One second. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. This is my turn.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_05You ready to relate a rev?
SPEAKER_02This might not work. Let me know if it does. I can do something else if it doesn't. It's okay.
SPEAKER_06We're being unprofessional. If it doesn't work, that's fine.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Starzhead, wrong microphone.
SPEAKER_03He's talking into his dick again.
SPEAKER_01Indeed.
SPEAKER_05You win the internet, sir.
SPEAKER_01And Deliria thinks that's a very interesting perspective.
unknownOh no.
SPEAKER_06And if you don't think that I have to apologize for recording the entire last episode with my microphone backwards, then why don't you come along with us to a long time ago in a galaxy far far away in Star Wars? The veil has been lifted. After investigating the existence of the illusory Darth Sidious during the Clone Wars, a group of Imperial Knights have discovered his true identity as Emperor Palpatine. Learning this information from Palpatine's former apprentice, Darth Maul, the Knights have formed a tenuous alliance with the Dark Warrior. Now working with Maul to topple his former master, the Knights have returned to Coruscant, hiding their new knowledge from their ever-expanding order.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06You guys didn't bring anyone back. Uh however, you're not the only ones going a recruiting. Oh. So when you returned from Lotho Minor, you found waiting for you that remember how Anakin and uh Sarai Kar went to Kesh to deal with that planet?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that planet that tried to kill us, or were like, get rid of them.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they didn't get rid of them. They didn't let them.
SPEAKER_01Oh, sorry for being not as charismatic as other people.
SPEAKER_06So in the days and weeks that followed your return to Coruscant and presumably trying to stay under the radar, the lost tribe of the Sith from the planet Kesh have been returned to the galaxy by Anakin and Sarikar, and their 10,000 Sith warriors have been inducted into the Imperial Knights.
SPEAKER_01Wait, the Sarikar?
SPEAKER_06Uh, yeah, from the Gensari, that armored lady. That was the first one.
SPEAKER_05The first one that we were created.
SPEAKER_01Is this a real Star Wars thing that they stole from Dune again? The Sardacar? Okay, it's fine. Let's keep going.
SPEAKER_03Let's expand a universe.
SPEAKER_01Desert planet, whatever.
SPEAKER_03I can feel the anger coming from.
SPEAKER_01Chosen one, whatever.
SPEAKER_05Dune invented the chosen one. That is known.
SPEAKER_01Space witches, okay.
SPEAKER_05You're gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Here, put your in- at least.
SPEAKER_01Look, they didn't have their opening town be called Lord of the Rings, so it's fine.
SPEAKER_05Elyria comes back and is like, this person's derivative.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, put your hand in this box. Uh, you'll be you'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_06So, and it might seem uh queer that the uh Sith are being allowed so readily into uh galactic society after what you've learned, but the justification that the Empire has been using is that uh these Sith are a long-lost society that uh descended from uh ancient Jedi who clashed with the corrupt order and fled persecution and have now been rediscovered, and now the Sith warriors are being openly celebrated and welcomed back into the arms of the Empire, and as part of this cultural exchange, the Knightmaster Anakin Skywalker is to be addressed. He has been given, or at least now is being addressed by a Sith title to um help with the sort of cultural exchange. So uh you will now refer to him in council meetings and elsewhere as Darth Vader.
SPEAKER_01Huh.
SPEAKER_06Wait a minute. Doesn't Vader mean father?
SPEAKER_01In which language?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, don't worry, there's no Dutch people here for the Space German. Sperman. We have to call him Daddy.
SPEAKER_03Darth Daddy.
SPEAKER_01Darth Daddy.
SPEAKER_03Can you call him Darth Daddy whenever you see him?
SPEAKER_01Tread on me, Daddy, tread on me.
SPEAKER_05Because like we're st they don't they don't know that we know, so we're technically still on the council. Do we get Darth names too?
SPEAKER_06No, just because he's the leader. Yeah, but what if we want some Darth names? And you kind of get the feeling uh that maybe he was already being called that. Oh, okay. Listened into Maul provided you a covert communications channel. If you listen into that, you will find that nobody's been using it. So either Palpatine's communications with Anakin are using a different channel, or they're just communicating out in the open now.
SPEAKER_05Uh, so we don't get to tune into that channel to get a just 4K impression of Anakin's daddy kink, his praise kink. I've I've made a note out of character.
SPEAKER_01Out of character, my note in my notebook is um Anakin is now Darth Vader, but hot.
SPEAKER_03What do you mean but fire? What if he still wears like a mask? Does he? Is he wearing a mask?
SPEAKER_06He's not hot.
SPEAKER_01Like hot in a knot lava way.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I mean, he's uh for like, you know, 20 minutes of Revenge of the Sith.
SPEAKER_01Oh, hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06Still still pretty divorced. Divorced ad energy. But you did you did get a new council member. You did at least add one to your roster. Yeah. That would be Vastara, the now queen of the Kesh Sith tribe.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, the sister. Or the not the sister, the the girl.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the daughter, the daughter of the younger king. When you escaped Kesh, her brother was still alive. He has not made an appearance since you returned to Coruscant.
SPEAKER_05Wait, her cousin, right? They're cousin. The one that was like, uh, Khalissette, you're so fascinatingly ugly.
SPEAKER_01Queen of the Kesh tribe?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. She's now the she's now, I guess, the the queen because her cousin and her dad and her uncle all died. Some of them at your hands, some of them more mysteriously.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, because the the cousin, he was the one who didn't want to join the re the empire as well. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06The the mood of the council sessions has also changed. No more watching Panthestar doing backflips, no more huge bong rips. Oh. Council sessions are short to the point and focused almost entirely on hunting down Jedi.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, I love efficiency.
SPEAKER_06Or they're still snacks.
SPEAKER_03A tear rolls down Chrissant's eye with the lack of bong rips that have been going on in this council.
SPEAKER_05Is okay, are are they because I I know that uh oh god, what's his name? Scossy was making some snide comments about how we weren't bringing back enough uh Jedi. Are they are are they feeling contented with us? Because I know that last time there was that one Jedi who gave us his lightsaber so we could report that he was dead.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So what did you report about what you found on Lotho Minor? You went there to find Witches of Dathimir. Instead you found Maul and formed a uh secret alliance with him.
SPEAKER_03Uh, they were uh they were gone before we could uh get there, before we could find anything, but we ran into Or maybe it's like, oh, there was only like one or two uh there, but the that Jedi, he killed them. He killed them.
SPEAKER_05He killed the Jedi, and we took his lightsaber. That's it.
SPEAKER_03That's not that seems like some bullshit we would we would do. That seems like some bullshit. I mean, we've done it before.
SPEAKER_05There were only two night sisters and the Jedi killed them both. Can you believe that?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so uh roll me your deception then against uh Scossie, because he would be the guy as the as a former Jedi Temple Guard. He would he would have been the person or one of the people in charge of interring Jedi lightsabers when they died in battle, so he would probably continue uh disposing of them in his new position.
SPEAKER_05What kind of deception?
SPEAKER_06So this will be against his discipline.
SPEAKER_02Do we do we all do it or just the uh whoever whoever's writing the report? Okay.
SPEAKER_05Because I have the best deception, but if it's like for report writing.
SPEAKER_01No, I only have two green. I can do it.
SPEAKER_05Can we add blazes?
SPEAKER_01I love to write reports.
SPEAKER_05Unless we can do it with like deception, but using intellect, and then Elyria and I do a combined skill check.
SPEAKER_06Sure. Illyria, you can do use your intellect and uh Kala's ranks and deception.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because that's how many ranks do we got? One, but mmm. Oh no, it's not a career skill. I don't want to do my game level up. I also have an automatic blue to deception. Could I give that to Elyria?
SPEAKER_06Well, whoever's rolling, uh only one of you would need to roll. So whoever's rolling, if you have any additional bonuses, those would get added.
SPEAKER_01I have four intellect.
SPEAKER_05Okay, and I I have a rank in deception, so you can take my yellow if we do combine. Yeah. But if Illyria's the one rolling, she's gonna be able to.
SPEAKER_06Well, I guess it doesn't really it's a combined roll, so it doesn't matter, but I think, yeah, so if you want to add that blue, you can.
SPEAKER_05Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah. So that'll be against, since you're all still evil, you don't get any destiny points to start. They all convert to to dark. So I'll give you one here. So that will be against three reds.
SPEAKER_01Oh god. Okay, here we go. Oh. One success, two advantage, one triumph. Everyone's always saying how good of a roller I am.
SPEAKER_05Oh, no despairs? That was so good. Oh my god. Elyria, I I that's brilliant. If I wasn't trying to hold hard.
SPEAKER_01Look, I've built up this karma from like Ivory at the campaign. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You find you know the rest of the season.
SPEAKER_02I was watching you the whole time. You didn't screw up once. Oh my god, good job in there, yeah.
SPEAKER_06So Scossy, he's impressed with your your work now. Yes. And better be. When you when you handed over the lightsaber, he said, Ah, I recognize this lightsaber. It belonged to a Jedi by the name of Kento Merik, a warrior that even escaped from the clutches of Lord Vader. Good job.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. He died with honor.
SPEAKER_06And uh because he likes you, he's so impressed with you now. If if you so choose, he emails you or you know, supplies you. Maybe he doesn't email because he knows you don't read your emails, but he supplies you with the schematics for the lightsaber he designed, if you want to use that.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, if we want to build the silly spinning lightsaber.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And should a should a situation arise where you have to fight against these lightsabers, studying these schematics will also give you an edge and how to defeat them.
SPEAKER_05Yep. Remember though, that lightsab that that Jedi had his kid with him, and apparently Anakin was looking around for that kid because he wanted to make him an apprentice. If anyone asks about the kid, he wasn't there. We didn't see no kid. We know nothing about the kid, the Jedi's dead. I have the kid five minutes ago.
SPEAKER_03Oh good.
SPEAKER_05We didn't kill him, and then we didn't matter if we kill him. It's just like, oh, uh, what about the kid? And we're like, what kid? There was no kid. Know nothing about a kid.
SPEAKER_02So we have a secret. We are the traitors in the castle.
SPEAKER_05I mean, we were before, anyways.
SPEAKER_02We we are the Michael Rappaport. Oh dear. Or the uh Ron Funches. I don't want to be Michael Rappaport.
SPEAKER_05You already were. Which is not something I'm saying out loud in this uh the temple, which is surely bug to all hell. No, of course.
SPEAKER_03You're you wouldn't want anybody to hear that you're the Michael Rappaport.
SPEAKER_05I won't want anyone to hear me being like, well, of course we're traitors. Obviously.
SPEAKER_02Obviously, we're the moles. Kevin, you've been paying attention to the We're the Imperial spies. I don't care if this if the Republic wins. I just want Anakin to lose.
SPEAKER_05Ugh man, Anakin, we used to be friends. Not so much now.
SPEAKER_01He's so organized now. He runs a tight meeting.
SPEAKER_05Ugh. What did you say tight like that? He choked a guy?
SPEAKER_01Like what?
SPEAKER_05Like you're looking at well, like you're watching him leave while you're saying that, and then you're like, ooh, I love a man who runs a tight meeting. You stand at the end. I do, I do.
SPEAKER_01I do love anyone who runs a tight meeting.
SPEAKER_03You do that cup claw thing with your hands where you're just like holding a couple of buttons. Ooh, a tight meeting. Tight but tight meeting. I stare at you unimpressed.
SPEAKER_01I give you the look like Jasper in a show I haven't watched.
SPEAKER_03I feel the that weird fixated look. I feel the sudden zoom into my face.
SPEAKER_05Are you trying to hone your uh your unsettling your unsettling coercion? Yes. I love that. I love that you're going for it.
SPEAKER_06So after one of these tight, tight council meetings, Anakin uh, as always, ends it uh asking Sarai Kar if she's had any more luck tracking down Kenobi. Uh Sarikar's uh daughter was out there looking for Kenobi so far, no leads. Uh, but it is something that Anakin is very concerned about. And as the meeting adjourns, Skassi, who is taking taking the minutes, uh, he says, uh, excuse me, um Would you please see uh Professor Rinala in the Astrogation Laboratory? Uh the Emperor has a request of you.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, of course. We'll uh we'll go see ya. Anything for the Emperor.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, if the Emperor wants us to go and seize them, then we will go and see the Emperor, and we will do it with smiles on our faces.
SPEAKER_06So you can head down to the Astrogation Laboratory to meet Professor Renala, and she's there uh with Argo, and they are uh there's this big janky looking metal box that's just sitting on this table that they're like deep in the guts of with tools.
SPEAKER_05How how bad is the stench in this area now?
SPEAKER_06Well, this is the uh this is not the library, this is the astrogation laboratory. And now that the now that the Sith from Kesh are there, they kind of made Ranala clean up the library.
SPEAKER_05Thank god. One good thing came out of that. I'll go in just like uh Ranala, Argo.
SPEAKER_06And they they both nod to Argo's deep in deep in the guts, and he says, Hey, look at me getting up in these guts.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Ranala, what uh yeah, yeah, you have something for us?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yes, actually I do. So this thing right here is uh a Nava computer. Or at least the important part. I've been studying it ever since the folks from Kesh came back. I don't I don't know if this uh was mentioned while you were while you were there doing your first contact, but um apparently, you know that ship that was buried on their planet that they built that uh temple around?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well, supposedly, uh I spoke to uh Master of Astara and some of the other Sith, and according to their legends, it actually had a sister.
SPEAKER_05Oh.
SPEAKER_03Is she cute? Ah kid, I kid.
SPEAKER_05Did we hear about this? Did we learn about this when we were there before?
SPEAKER_06They mentioned it.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Yeah, they mentioned it.
SPEAKER_06Right, so they, according to their lore and according to uh this thing's systems, at least what I can gather from it, they don't know where the other ship ended up.
SPEAKER_03Are are you saying that it is up to us to find where the ship went?
SPEAKER_06Well, the Emperor would uh like you to do that. Uh, you see, I was able to find a cargo manifest for the omen, the one that was on Kesh, and apparently they were hauling quite a lot of uh lignon ore, these rare crystals. Uh the Emperor's very interested in uh these types of crystals for uh his energy project. So if there's another ship out there, undisturbed, that was full of these crystals, the Scython Kesh used most of them to uh build their lightsabers, but if uh the sister ship, I think it was called the and she's scrolls to data pad, uh the harbinger is the ship you're looking for. If that ship's out there somewhere, then maybe there's an entire shipment of these crystals that the Emperor would very much like the Imperial Knights to retrieve.
SPEAKER_05Uh, what kind of energy project?
SPEAKER_06It's a uh you haven't heard about the energy project? Tell us a little more about the energy project. I mean, how much have you been paying attention to the news? Oh fuck no.
SPEAKER_05I I mean I feel like uh I probably would have been paying attention, especially now that it's like, oh god, we're the villains.
SPEAKER_03I make my own news, okay?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you've been paying attention to the tabloids. So, Illyria Romeo One Purple Knowledge Core Worlds.
SPEAKER_01For success, one threat.
SPEAKER_06Ooh. The the threat is that nothing about this seems off to you. The Energy Initiative is a project that the Emperor unveiled shortly after the Empire was declared to try and come up with some kind of like unlimited universal energy that could help to power worlds across the galaxy under the empire, bring untold prosperity, like even in the outer rim where energy is, you know, tough and coveted, like you can hopefully they can build something that could sustain these worlds.
SPEAKER_05Something that really just beam the energy down.
SPEAKER_01I think unlimited power sounds good. What could be bad about unlimited power?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so from from what you can remember, uh internally the project is called Project Celestial Power.
SPEAKER_07Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06And you you do remember hearing that, like, they're okay, yeah, they there was something about crystals. Like, you remember hearing that they were investigating kyber crystals. You've probably heard that uh the Empire got access to the coordinates to Ilum and have started kind of mining it. But it's definitely a big it's it's a big thing in the news. It's a big part of Palpatine's platform. It's a big thing that people are expecting will eventually create great dividends.
SPEAKER_03Eventually.
SPEAKER_06Lignan.
SPEAKER_03Lignan balls. I'll cover it in shit.
SPEAKER_01Lignan berries.
SPEAKER_06So yeah, Lyria, you know about the uh the energy initiative, and for those that don't, uh Renala just kind of rattles off basic shit. Like you hear names that it's like who are these people, Krenick, Urso, what I don't know what any of these people are.
SPEAKER_01Seems normal. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06We don't know. We don't know any better.
SPEAKER_01Very smart scientists.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, that's uh that's the hope. Solve solve a lot of the energy problems out there in the galaxy.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah, but uh Is it uh don't we uh what about that whole solar energy initiative? Don't we run uh can't can't we run things from solar energy?
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean solar power is uh, you know, one of one of the things we can use. Um but one of the problems, I mean, at least from what I've read from their research, is that it's very difficult to harness the energy of a of a star without accidentally draining it.
SPEAKER_03There's a lot of um Oh no, oh no, I just I just remembered the scene.
SPEAKER_06Hee hee hee. Yeah, we don't want to end up accidentally making any star killer devices or anything like that.
SPEAKER_01Of course not.
SPEAKER_05That would be bad. But uh but yeah, so uh we uh tracking this uh this other ship down that might have the crystals. You uh have any luck finding some coordinates?
SPEAKER_06Well, the problem is, so I got this Nava computer. Since they were sister ships, they kind of backed each other up. And there is some data that's left in here, but so far Argu and I haven't had much luck, actually. Uh it's pretty corrupted.
SPEAKER_03Did you just say that we're corrupt? Oh, no, no, no. The the the data's corrupted. Oh, okay. Sorry, I misheard you. I misheard you.
SPEAKER_05I'm being very cool. Did you say that we're corrupt? I have nothing to hide. Uh is there anything that we're doing?
SPEAKER_03I gotta say, ever since you got rid of those bong rips, I've been feeling on edge.
SPEAKER_05You know, you can do bong rips on your own time, Chris.
SPEAKER_03I know, but it was really chill to do it during a uh a council meeting.
SPEAKER_05You know, it is true. It has kind of the it does add to the ambiance, just have like this kind of haze around. You know, it's like everyone gets that sort of soft smoky lighting on them. It's like everything's very mellow.
SPEAKER_02It's like no one shoots a council meeting like Tony Scott.
SPEAKER_05I was about to say.
SPEAKER_01Personally, I enjoy our 20 minute council meetings as opposed to the um the two hour uh sessions. I I do air quotes.
SPEAKER_05Did Elyria ever actually join us in our sessions?
SPEAKER_02Right. And Anakin doesn't rip out the Grateful Dead LTs anymore. What's even the point?
SPEAKER_03I've seen Zatman. Cry twice in one record. For every day.
SPEAKER_02He's very grateful for the dead.
SPEAKER_05I'm sure Illyria. Well, actually, no, Elyria wouldn't. Elyria probably just enjoyed our secondhand fumes.
SPEAKER_01Enjoyed.
SPEAKER_05I think she would.
SPEAKER_06She's a teetotler.
SPEAKER_01Withstood.
SPEAKER_06Totally.
SPEAKER_05I I think that she would deny it, but I think that she secretly enjoyed that little lightheaded feeling that she got. You never once paid for drugs. Not once. Not once. But uh, yeah, is that anything that we might be able to do to help uh clean up the corruption and the the nav computer?
SPEAKER_06Well, if you uh think that you might be able to give us hand getting up in this thing's innards, then we could probably use a hand either debugging the software or uh trying to put this hardware back together, or if you think you might be able to handle the corrupt data, uh the astrogation terminal is over there, we can uh plug it in for you and just see what we get.
SPEAKER_05What do you think, Elyria? These all sound like Elyria things. Are you ready to get up in Zimguts?
SPEAKER_01I of course I can help. Am I sabotaging it? I don't know. I want to do a good job.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Mocha's like, we if we want to find the coordinates and maybe see what's going on with this this other ship, because it's like we still have to be we're still we're still, you know, we're flying under the radar for now.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're we're we're as long as you know we don't have to do something horrific uh in the next little bit here, we can help out in uh energy scene.
SPEAKER_01I also saw nothing untoward uh about the energy project.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Seems legit. Let's go.
SPEAKER_02But how legit? Too legit to quit. I I knew one of you was gonna get me that.
SPEAKER_05And both of us did. We're looking out for you, Mike.
SPEAKER_01Wait, what?
SPEAKER_06The legitimacy of this project is in question. We may have to see some.
SPEAKER_02I mean, after all we've been through. Don't do that. This is legitimate.
SPEAKER_03This is leg after all we've been through, this is lit too legit. That didn't work.
SPEAKER_05Jesus No, I'm sorry, Devida didn't. Anyways, okay, so what Illyria's rolling astrogation to try to uncorrupt this data.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Since it is corrupted, uh, that is so the data itself is gonna be hard. Um I'll give you a destiny point in case you get like a catastrophic failure.
SPEAKER_01God, I should have upgraded my astrogation. It's not a career skill.
SPEAKER_06That'll be a red and two purples.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01One oh, interesting. Uh one triumph, one despair, one advantage.
SPEAKER_05Interesting.
SPEAKER_06So you got you didn't succeed in decrypting the data in plotting an actual course for it. But because you got that triumph and you got that despair, and you got that advantage.
SPEAKER_05You accidentally crack it in half, but inside is a hidden thumb drive. Ooh.
SPEAKER_06Well, it's just because you were doing the astrogation, so that's just the data itself. So that's all just what's in the computers. So the data appe you can't figure out where it went, but that's because you notice something about the uh data that the harbinger was sending the omen when it jumped. So that advantage in that triumph. You can read the the data and figure out like, it's like, well, there's something weird about these coordinates. And what you notice is that as part of the information, the diagnostic information it was sending, right before it jumped, the Harbinger's relativistic shields failed.
SPEAKER_05Hmm. Oh god, shoot me in the head if we have to go to the medieval times planet again. I I can't. I can't I can't go back again.
SPEAKER_01You love it!
SPEAKER_05I can't go back to the site of our crimes. Not our crimes, but you know.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, no, not that planet.
SPEAKER_05Long ago crimes, I don't want to go back to the medieval times planet. Is this gonna be the medieval times planet?
SPEAKER_06So the problem. Well, we can learn from our our errors with that despair, is that if you want to figure out where this thing ended up, you will also have to figure out when this thing ended up. So uh if you wanna roll your astrogation, it'll be slightly easier now because you got that triumph, you got that advantage. So it'll be the same difficulty, red and two purples. That despair is gonna add another red because you have another vector failure to try and figure out when it ended up. And because that's gonna determine like how the galaxy was rotating and floating through space. But you got that triumph, you got that advantage. So you can upgrade your role and add another blue.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So two yellow, two green against two red, one yellow one purple. And a blue. Yes. I'll say that's yes. Uh-oh. One failure, two advantage.
SPEAKER_05That's not terrible. You got advantage, at least. It could be worse.
SPEAKER_06So the problem is that where it ended up, you can find it on a map, kind of. But it's a similar situation to Cesh, is that when you look at it, it's not on any of the charts. It is in the unknown regions.
SPEAKER_05Oh. The unknown regions, you say. I know Elyria is not actually from the unknown regions. Oh, but Starzan, you you are. I'm from the unknown regions. Oh my god, is this gonna be a Starzan episode? I hope so.
SPEAKER_02Oh my. We're gonna see what happened to my planet after I left.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, what if Starzan, what if your entire planet is the descendants from the ship, and that's why you guys are like the way you are?
SPEAKER_02We're going through the looking glass here. Wow.
SPEAKER_05Turns out that your powers are ancient Sith magic.
SPEAKER_02Hell yeah. The staroids? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, I'm not sure. I'm gonna laugh so hard if this actually is what it is, and we just like spoiled the episode before we even got started.
SPEAKER_02Cut this out, cut this out, cut it out, cut it out.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. We we didn't spoil anything if this is in fact what it is.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but I mean if you're right, you get to call it.
SPEAKER_05Oh, god, we would get to call it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right. Every time we make stuff up, you're just like, I'll go with that.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna re-edit this episode, so to make it seem as though you called that? Oh my god, that's unbelievable. This is the castle freak all over again.
SPEAKER_01You can't trick us, your notes just say goblin named Bingus.
SPEAKER_05And it's like, yeah, they'll fill in the blanks as we go.
SPEAKER_06So, uh, starzen, why don't you Since you are you are from the unknown regions. If you want to look at that area of space and tell me if you recognize any of the constellations.
SPEAKER_02Do I?
SPEAKER_06Uh, so this would be a you got two advantages, so we'll call it a two purple astrogation for you.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god. I would love if this I would love if this was the case.
SPEAKER_01The Snake Mountain constellation.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna it's gonna turn out that the starroid is just like every now and then Starzan just has to crunch up some crack hyper crystals and eat them.
SPEAKER_06Uh three success two threats. Okay. Oh wow. So it is part of a constellation. What is this constellation called? Um Panther? Panther.
SPEAKER_02The Panth Star constellation. Named after the pet that we've had for generations.
SPEAKER_05The constellations named after oh, like every every generation has this kind of pattern. They're always named PanthStar.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the same way that every generation has a Star Zan. Just like every Star Uh fucking just like that.
SPEAKER_05Just like every Star Then sings a sad, sad song.
SPEAKER_03I was like, what are those things that ride on horses? They're not horrendous all just rambling for the same song reference at the same time.
SPEAKER_05Those things that ride on horses.
SPEAKER_02Wasn't that about an overly autistic podcast where we all have to reference song lyrics every time a single thing reminds us of?
SPEAKER_05Shut up, Mike, we're not like them. That's the ADHD podcast.
SPEAKER_02Yes, thank you.
SPEAKER_05We're different and worse.
SPEAKER_01Indeed.
SPEAKER_05Penthar. It's a very interesting theory.
SPEAKER_06That's you, buddy. So you can recognize this star as being the kind of the tip of the tiger's tail.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I know where we are.
SPEAKER_01Where it is?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Can I make my way like reverse engineer?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, with Starzan's help, you could probably astrogate there because he recognizes the uh the constellations. He knows roughly where it is. Um once you get to your ship, you could just put in the coordinates. You could even just do it here and take those coordinates with you. So when you enter them, it does like autofill. Like this is essentially it's a new discovery for for the Empire. Because it just like as you enter it in, it just autofills a designation. So like when you put in the coordinates, it it recognizes it's an undiscovered star, and it just calls it UR-2212-GR. Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_05Hey on. Say that again.
SPEAKER_06UR-2212-GR. Okay, stick that in the anagram machine.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Uh no, all all all that means it's uh in the unknown regions. It is the 2212th star that has been found.
SPEAKER_05GR. Great work. Great rolls. Great work. And GR like just in the beginning of great, great rolling stars in. Everyone's talking about what a good roller you are. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Okay, shall we go to uh this new star? You can you can go, you can take the terrible turn, you can load the coordinates into your Nava computer, pre-computed. You're taking off concorrent, so you can have pre-plotted the jump.
SPEAKER_05And uh can we do the thing on the way where we just uh give a cursory look around for bugs? Yeah, we've been bugged again.
SPEAKER_06Skullduggery or perception to search for bugs. Uh what kind? This would probably be against the how hard are you looking?
SPEAKER_01Like two.
SPEAKER_03This is worth our lives. I feel like we're looking pretty hard.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like now that we are like just straight up like double agents, I feel like I'd be looking pretty closely.
SPEAKER_01And once I buy mastery, I really need to put a rank into like perception or something.
SPEAKER_06Like you're expecting that if anybody's gonna be putting bugs on your ship, it's gonna be like the top people. Uh it's gonna be a five purple.
SPEAKER_05I mean, you can't get despair on that at least.
SPEAKER_01One failure, one threat. I'm paranoid.
SPEAKER_05One failure, two threats. Two success, three advantage, baby. Okay, you go. I found all those bugs, I'm gonna yum them up like Starzan does.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Starzan again thinks that you we are looking for literal bugs. That's the rule of it. Um five purple. Okay. Let's see how this goes. Do I find any literal bugs? One failure, four threat. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06So, no, you don't find any bugs, which is in itself suspicious. Kala, so you search your ship. You got two success and three advantages. Yeah. You can tell that, like, there are no bugs. You can't find any. You're pretty certain that you've done a really thorough inspection. But the you know, part of the reason that Starzan can't find any of the bugs he's looking for is because people do come onto your ship and they do clean it, and they do maintenance on it, and they do from time to time wipe things that you have in the computer. Obviously, they're gonna back this up.
SPEAKER_05If we didn't so they might have wiped out like information that we had. Is there any chance that they might have like seen things that like I assume we would have like covered up our tracks after we encountered Marl.
SPEAKER_03I have not I have nothing to hide. I keep what uh wiping my search. You have so much to hide. I I keep wiping my search history every time I uh search things on my computer. I'm good.
SPEAKER_06You can't know for sure. Everybody else got failure with threat, so it's like when they that's my that's my that's my threat, is that I'm too confident. Your ship is clean, which means that after you got back from Lotho Minor, they did pull all the hard drives to archive them. Oh fuck.
SPEAKER_05Would we be able to uh do a retroactive roll to make sure we remove any evidence of what we done found?
SPEAKER_06Uh not with that threat.
SPEAKER_05Uh, what about my six what am I my advantage?
SPEAKER_06Well your advantage was for finding bugs, and you know that you didn't you know that they didn't plant any bugs. So you are safe on this mission.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_03But maybe not the next one. Maybe not your own. So we gotta we gotta have we gotta do the mass effect thing. We gotta have every time we have something to write down, we put them on individual iPads.
SPEAKER_05Man, I I don't know if it's uh you know what, I'm not gonna finish my th where it's like, why don't why don't we do the Mass Effect thing and my first brain is like, and we fuck our alien cohort.
SPEAKER_03Shit goes without saying!
SPEAKER_05Yeah, except it's just us right now, and it's like we can't, we can't.
SPEAKER_03No, that's that's true.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so your browser history's clean, whatever that uh implies for you.
SPEAKER_05Well, that's fine. Let's continue to this star.
SPEAKER_06You can continue to this star system. And although you did as part of your calculations, you had to try and figure out when uh it would have appeared. Galaxies are huge, and although they move very quickly, the calculations you did, like when you shrink it down to map size, it wouldn't actually be spinning that fast. So you are about in sort of what you've been able to narrow down, the ship could have appeared like 60 years in either direction of the present.
SPEAKER_02Ooh. Oh no. What's happened to Egarice? Or what happened before Starzan?
SPEAKER_05Ooh. I mean, that's probably too reason for that to have been the basis of your society, at least. So I I in this case, I probably did not, in fact, call it. You're off the hook this time, Starzan.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_05But you wait till we find out what those staroids are. Just no testing. You dirty doping bastard. You dirty dopin bastard.
SPEAKER_06And when you arrive, uh, this unknown system, the the most prominent feature that you can see is it has like stars. It has like a star, it's got a system of planets. None of them seem to be super habitable. Uh the largest one is this like big blue gas giant that has like dozens of moons surrounding it. Why don't you give me a scan to see if you can find the ship?
SPEAKER_05What would that be for a scan?
SPEAKER_06The computers. How uh how in depth do you want to get with your scan? Our best rollers at it again.
SPEAKER_01Moderate.
SPEAKER_06Like, or I guess what is your range? How far do you want to scan?
SPEAKER_01Because like what The surface. Wait.
SPEAKER_05Like this would just be scanning the planet?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it would be it would basically be like a computer's roll, so it's like a short range scan would be one purple, medium range, long range, extreme range could be up to four. If you want to scan the entire system, uh that would be a four purple. But if you just want to like sort of scan your immediate surroundings, see if it's close by, uh, that would be one one purple, but it might not be. If you want to scan anywhere sort of in the area of a specific planet, that would be two. If you want to kind of scan a couple of planets at a time, that would be three.
SPEAKER_01Let's do three.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_01To advantage.
SPEAKER_05Can you guys like be like, oh look, that one has like lights on the side.
SPEAKER_01Can I roll again with a two?
SPEAKER_06Well, you got this to advantage. So as you are scanning, you're scanning for ships. You don't find anything the size of the Harbinger, or at least what you assume would be the size of the Harbinger given how big the omen was. But you do pick up a small, like, freighter size, about the size of the terrible turn. You something of that size does pop up on your scopes.
SPEAKER_05Oh, where is it?
SPEAKER_06So you can see it kind of like trying to hide among the cluster of moons surrounding the gas giant.
SPEAKER_05Oh, is it like an ambush? It's just the one though.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I mean, I guess a single ship can do an ambush, though.
SPEAKER_01Surprised!
SPEAKER_05And then we go cow and we shoot them down.
SPEAKER_01Should we contact them and be like, uh, hello?
SPEAKER_05Just hail them and be like, we noticed you. We noticed you're gonna be able to do that. We really dig your vibe. Would it be possible to hail them?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you could try hailing them.
SPEAKER_05Hey, idiots.
SPEAKER_06They if you if you send them a ping, uh, they don't send one back. And in fact, what they what they send back is a sort of digital countermeasure, it seems. So like uh you you message them and they respond with a firewall.
SPEAKER_05Uh rude. Well, okay, but they're not getting they're not combative. It's just like protecting themselves.
SPEAKER_03If they're just protecting themselves, can we say that we come and be uh hello, we come and beast?
SPEAKER_06Like it seems like like the handshake that the initial message handshake that you send, like they're not even getting your messages. They're just blocking they've blocked you on Twitter.
SPEAKER_03Can we can we um do like a chemtrail message where we're like not bad.
SPEAKER_05Skyriding.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, skywriting, that's what I'm trying to say. Um a chemtrail message at these kinds of distances turns out probably not trail truth or something. I wouldn't be able to see it. Can we make it? It's in our fucking water. It's in our fucking water, okay? I'm just all that's all I'm gonna say.
SPEAKER_05It's turning the frickin' me gay.
SPEAKER_02Me gay, me gay.
SPEAKER_05Uh I mean, mmm, our ship because this ship's around the same size as the terrible turn.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Would we want to try to drift closer and be like just bring our ship's nose to nose, make him kiss?
SPEAKER_03Do you do you want me to do you want me to make a sign?
SPEAKER_05I want our ships to kiss. I want them to be friends.
SPEAKER_03I choo choo choose you.
SPEAKER_05Would would I be able to roll piloting to kind of like carefully drift our ship closer? So we just like kind of get a visual look at uh what they're doing.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What would that be for piloting? So are you trying to like maybe because like if they're hiding in the asteroids, if I can maybe fly into a position where they're like maybe a little cornered, so it's like either you gotta you gotta talk to us.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so kind of a communicative piloting.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I wanna wiggle the ship's ass like a like a bee to try to get a message across.
SPEAKER_06So yeah, red and two purple.
SPEAKER_05Red two purple. I mean, I got a yellow three green. We'll see.
SPEAKER_06You got this.
SPEAKER_05To success, we got it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so you can you can bear down on them kind of uh threateningly, or at least like to try and corner them. You can follow them, they dip in and out behind moons and asteroids, but you can you can match them. They are definitely trying to avoid you, but at a certain point, like, you come around an asteroid and you kind of catch them, and you're right in front of them now face to face. You can see into their cockpit. It is a YT 1300 freighter painted uh sky blue, and you can see it's covered with blast marks and carbon scoring. This is a ship that has been on uh quite a number of adventures, it seems.
SPEAKER_05Because YT 1300, like, that's Corellian, right?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's it's uh the same type of ship as the Millennium Falcon, but it's had different modifications.
SPEAKER_05Can we try to ping them again? Because like that, that feels like maybe this is someone who's not local who just got like who's been cornered and is trying to like get out. So they might have information about the area if they've uh run afoul of the locals. Ping them again. Ping 'em again. You ping them again. Do you want to talk this time or not?
SPEAKER_06You're within visual range now. They can see what kind of ship you have, and you're close enough that you can, at least with your ship's cameras and other sensors, you can see somebody moving from the cockpit running back to the gun turret.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Come on.
SPEAKER_03I was I was I was literally about to suggest maybe if one of us does a spacewalk and just sort of waves our arms to show that, hey, we're we're here to communicate. Hello.
SPEAKER_05Is it does it look like it's just one person?
SPEAKER_06Uh, you can see that there's a crew of four in the cockpit.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, it's gonna be our good versions. Our good Not our not our evil twins, our good twins.
SPEAKER_03Good ver the good us.
SPEAKER_05Like, are they all running for the gun turrets? Is there anyone who's left in the cockpit?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, there's uh you can see that there's like a captain, uh, a pilot, and a co-pilot, and like there's somebody else, two other people in the back, one of them runs for one of the gun turrets.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, wave wave hands and like point at the ear, like, can we talk?
SPEAKER_06The captain who is a Wookiee flips you the bird.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_06And then he put he rams a throttle and it's coming right at your ship.
SPEAKER_02Why would he why would he be so upset about the turn?
SPEAKER_03Can i can I can I go at the guns and maybe shoot at a wing or something?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, can I- Is there a reason a Wookiee wouldn't like the Empire? Look. They're supposed to be apolitical.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because if like if Chris is running for the turrets, could I maybe like try to reverse the ship so it can't ram us?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. It it seems like it's like playing the chicken a little bit. So give me uh piloting against three red.
SPEAKER_05Against three red?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, yeah, because this ship's like super trashed. It might just try be trying to uh get us to back off. So maybe I just like I'll let him try, but I won't move because I feel like our ship can probably take a hit better than theirs can.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so you're just gonna play chicken?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'll play chicken.
SPEAKER_06Okay. Uh, since your ship isn't moving, that's gonna give Chris a blue on the gun turrets if he does want to try and blast them.
SPEAKER_03Uh maybe if I can blast a wing to just to kinda like nip them.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's it's a YT 1300, so you could probably hit like the the engines on the back or shoot off their guns. Yeah, or maybe uh it does have a dish on the top. If you could blast that off, that might be that might prevent them from uh putting up their firewall so you could actually like force a message through.
SPEAKER_05Oh, hmm.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, aim for that dish.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_05Because if I'm playing chicken, would I be able to roll Vigilance like just to uh not react? It would probably be a like not startle.
SPEAKER_06That'd probably be cool.
SPEAKER_05No, don't make me roll cool. My cool's bad.
SPEAKER_06You gotta keep your cool.
SPEAKER_05That's against the rules. You're not allowed to make me roll cool. What would that be against?
SPEAKER_06Say two purple.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Do we have any destiny? Yeah, you have two. I'm gonna flip one. Get one yellow, one yellow, one green. Ugh god. My cool sucks.
SPEAKER_03I I am pretty cool.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but you're not the pilot. I got one failure. I startle, I flinch. Gosh darn it, I flinch. Man!
SPEAKER_06So, uh, yeah, you unfortunately, uh, it is coming towards you. You do sort of lose this game of chickens, so uh, Chris, you're gonna have to have a black added on. As well as a blue or just a black? Instead of the blue.
SPEAKER_03Ah, fuck you. Sorry. That's okay.
SPEAKER_05I tried, I tried.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no, it's uh it's uh it's okay. It's okay.
SPEAKER_05But I wanted it to be vigilance! I don't want I never wanted to be cool.
SPEAKER_03It's okay.
SPEAKER_05It's not okay. It's okay.
SPEAKER_03It's okay. I'm cool enough for all of us.
SPEAKER_06So this is gonna be uh two purple and three blacks. Fuck me. Because you are essentially calling your chop at trying to hit that dish.
SPEAKER_03Two pausing for uh dramatic effect. Disadvantages. No, no, that wouldn't that be incredible on two purples?
SPEAKER_06That'd be great. You miss the dish, but at the last second, as you're firing, before it rams you, the ship kind of pulls up. And as it goes up above your vessel, you're in the dorsal turret, Chris, you can fire at it, and you hit the underside of the engines, and this like black plume of smoke starts coming out, and the ship basically starts limping. You can see if you have the equivalent of rear view mirrors and rear-facing cameras, that its engines start like flickering now and it slows down.
SPEAKER_05I meant to do that, and we ping them one more time. You can Are you ready to talk yet?
SPEAKER_06One more time, uh, they respond. You hear a Wookiee roaring, and then after that, uh, there's like some scuffling, it sounds like people kind of like jockeying for position. And then you hear this woman's voice, and she says, What our pilot means to say is we have nothing to say to you, Imperial scum.
SPEAKER_05So you're ready to talk now?
SPEAKER_06We won't go quietly.
SPEAKER_05We're not trying to take you in. We're trying to ask for what happened here.
SPEAKER_06The Empire being concerned?
SPEAKER_05Look, we have an interest in what's going on in this area of space. It looks like you might have been in a tussle. We want to know what happened to you.
SPEAKER_06We're fine. Just let us go about our business.
SPEAKER_03What kinda uh, but uh don't you want uh uh to hel uh help us with uh some of our business? And maybe we can help you with some of your business.
SPEAKER_06We have nothing to help the Empire with.
SPEAKER_05Okay, but it looks like someone might have put quite the beat down on you and your crew, so you know, like maybe you have an interest in helping us deal with whoever's in this area.
SPEAKER_06You disabled our ship.
SPEAKER_05What? What you were hiding. You were hiding. You were tu you were dinged up when we found you.
SPEAKER_06You blasted out our engines, so p finish the job or fight us like adults.
SPEAKER_05You were charging at our ship. I'm sorry, you started it. I don't I we were trying to ping at a talk to see why you were hiding. When we came around on the ship, it looked like you were pretty beat up. We want to know if you know anything about what's going on in this area, if you might have encountered anyone.
SPEAKER_06Why? What do you think is going on in this area?
SPEAKER_01Girl, we just got here.
SPEAKER_05That's why we're asking the people who are already here. Look, co- could we get you like, give us an alias, just something I can address you by. My name's Callos. Nice to meet ya, whatever your name is, whatever you would like us to call ya.
SPEAKER_03For now you are Bob.
SPEAKER_05Do you have a do you have an alias you would like us uh you would be okay with us addressing you by? No. Okay, Bob. Uh it's nice to meet you too. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, we should be evil. You could be Darth Callus.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I could oh, I could be. Dang, that would be so good. That would be neat. Uh, except now we're trying we kind of are having our morals again.
SPEAKER_03What if what if we just uh what if we just w uh overtake a Palpatine and become the big emperors? Never mind. We're the this is this is alone talk. We'll do this later.
SPEAKER_01I could be a more moral evil dictator.
SPEAKER_02Are we playing both sides so we always come out on top again?
SPEAKER_05Uh, just like our hero or vampiric heroes of the of l of lore. I mean, I I don't know, maybe Chris wants to massage my tone, because otherwise I'm just gonna plow on ahead. Just like, okay, Bob, here's the deal. We're looking for some a civilization that might be in this area. We saw you were messed up, thought that maybe you ended up in a tussle with these people, thought that maybe you might be able to give us some information about what you encountered, and I don't know, maybe we could help you get patched up and send you on your way.
SPEAKER_03Are you initially from around here? It is po it is absolutely possible that uh uh we're intruding on your on your home space and you just protecting it. And if that's the case, just let us know and we will uh gravely apologize and offer to fix your ship.
SPEAKER_06And you hear like a little bit of conversation on the other end, and another voice, a different woman comes to the microphone.
SPEAKER_05I guess it's just four of them.
SPEAKER_06And she's Which one of our other groups is this?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, which who who is each of our counterpart? So I assume that uh we all have to be represented with this group that we've never encountered. Obviously. Well, we have Haitaka. Anyways, another woman's coming on.
SPEAKER_06And she says, I hail from this area of space. Did you come here because you were drawn by the force?
SPEAKER_05Um, I suppose you could kinda say that.
SPEAKER_06I recognize your sigil is of the Imperial Knights.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. A little bit more complicated, but you know, it's a bit of a long story.
SPEAKER_03It is a bit of a long story with that.
SPEAKER_06And you used to be Jedi knights?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's a bit of a long story. I would never have called myself a Jedi knight. No, no, no, I was never that distinguished.
SPEAKER_06And you can hear, like, there's some arguing on the other end, but the the woman returns and she says, If you wish to prove your innocence, then would you send over some tools?
SPEAKER_03Do you do you want three to just huck uh huck them over there? Or or do you or can one of us transport uh these tools onto your ship?
SPEAKER_06We can dock with you. Send one of your number over with the tools.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, let's talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should we should we send over the person the most able to use the tools, or Starzan who is the most able to defend himself if they did a betray?
SPEAKER_06Or somebody who's the most able to uh talk them without pissing them off.
SPEAKER_05In any case, probably not me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So Chris?
SPEAKER_05Oh I uh may maybe maybe Chris if it's like just trying to smooth things over and convince them that uh we're on the same side.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well I'll I'll use your pheromones. I'll I'll I'll go over there.
SPEAKER_05Let me let me uh man, this guy stinks, but I love it.
SPEAKER_03Let me stink myself up a little bit.
SPEAKER_05Stink it up.
SPEAKER_02Is that how you is that how you you create pher pheromones? One second, I'm not done yet. The pheromones are actually stored in the lungs. COVID was a insanely sexy time for him.
SPEAKER_03I always have to I always have to go to a soundproof booth before I make love.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, if anyone hears it's just like, oh god, are you sick? I gotta go.
SPEAKER_03And then I open the door and she's like, never mind.
SPEAKER_02Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Gotta put some sax music in over here.
SPEAKER_05Oh man, there's nothing I love more than a man who's just coughing like he smokes a pack a day.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Um, so we're fine, we're trying to find out about what what the fuck these guys are doing. We're trying to find out about the civilization that might have been here. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Alright. Yeah, we know what's up. We you we got our plan. Okay, let's uh I will bring some tools over to them when we dock with each other.
SPEAKER_06So you can you can dock the airlocks. Hot docking. Touch each other.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, hot docking action. Love that.
SPEAKER_06Got an episode title.
SPEAKER_05Hot dock.
SPEAKER_06The foreskin of your docking port can uh wrap around.
SPEAKER_05It's just like you see like a part on the other ship. It's just a sheath slides off our ship and cops over the tip of the neck.
SPEAKER_03It's a little damp.
SPEAKER_06It kind of like climbs over the other dock, just sort of like you can cross over. They can see into your ship, you can see into theirs. And they close the door uh behind Chris as he enters. They don't they don't want to make themselves any more vulnerable than they are, it seems.
SPEAKER_03Uh hello, je m'appelle Crissant, and uh I have brought some tools for you in order to help you fix your ship.
SPEAKER_06This uh Rhodian grabs him and he says, Thank you kindly, sir.
SPEAKER_03Ah, yes. Uh that thank you for not uh immediately killing me. That is a very nice thing to do. Um so, uh if you don't mind me asking, do you know anything? Uh and feel feel free if you need to get to know me a little bit better, man, then absolutely that's f uh that is okay. But uh what uh what's going on in this general vicinity?
SPEAKER_06So they don't answer you right away. Instead, the Wookiee uh growl something. Uh so the four people that you see, there is uh the Rhodian who grabbed the tools from you. He he seems to be like the ship's mechanic. You know, he's got vest boots, he's dressed pretty ruggedly, he spent a life on the on the fringes of society. There is the the Wookiee. Uh and the Wookie seems to be the pilot. He's wearing like this green vest, he's got like a goatee, a long goatee that's braided, and this mop of hair that comes down to cover his cover his eyes.
SPEAKER_03I I wave I wave at him and see if he sees me.
SPEAKER_06He he sees you. You can see his his little eyes glinting from under his bangs, like he's trying to make a moment out of this. There's a woman uh who's got like this white huffy blouse on and like a dark vest over top of that. She's got these yellow gloves, a very neatly arranged utility belt, and like these yellow fashion goggles that she's wearing on her forehead. Oh, nice. And uh another, another the other woman is uh she's got a sense of sort of the mystical about her. She's wearing this sort of long, sleeveless jacket that comes down to her knees, yellow, yellow boots that come up to her mid-thigh. Uh, and she's kind of wearing like almost not quite Jedi-like, but a kind of like robed shirt tunic. She doesn't seem to be wearing any underwear. Bonjour, madame.
SPEAKER_01Well, you would strangle yourself in space if you had underwear on.
SPEAKER_05I I do love that that's something that of course Chris notices, just like, ah, no underwear.
SPEAKER_03I I can tell the difference between something that somebody who is supporting and somebody who is not. And I see that you are not, and I am willing to help support you.
SPEAKER_05Let me cup your puss. Gently support. Lift and separate.
SPEAKER_06And the the woman with the goggles, uh, sh she kind of steps in between you and the other woman. She says, Alright, alright, keep everything where I can see it.
SPEAKER_03Hey, I'm not ste uh uh stepping uh out of line line, I hope. I'm jet I am just here. Honestly, I just feel as though we got off on the wrong fo uh wrong foot here, and I am deep deeply sorry for that. I uh my like I said, my name my name is Chris Aunt. Uh we have uh brought some tools for you, and I don't know if you're from around this uh general section here, but uh uh I am I am curious as to uh as to know what uh br uh what brings you here. And she says, Saunt.
SPEAKER_05Oh uh Saunt.
SPEAKER_06Uh Chrissant, uh and she takes off one of her yellow gloves and holds out she has these very finely manicured uh fingernails and she holds out a handshake and she's a Rani Corden. Yes, of the Naboo Corden family.
SPEAKER_03Ah bonjour, madame. Uh come on ça va.
SPEAKER_05Would would we know anything about the Corden family of Naboo?
SPEAKER_06Naboo's in the midrim, so either outer rim or core worlds.
SPEAKER_05I mean both are bad. Would you accept Underworld perchance? Are they sketchy? Um part of my brain wants to say so because it's like I I know that it's like the folly in a really end with blacks on it if it's someone who recognizes Chris's folly name and is like, ah.
SPEAKER_06I mean, you can roll underworld if you think it would help. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05The way that she recognized Sant specifically makes me go, hmm. Okay, give me uh two purple and a black. Also just that's the only intellect skill that I have a rank in, so. One success.
SPEAKER_06So you know that the Corden family seems to be pretty on the straight and narrow, I guess. Uh you you have heard of it. Mostly through your time with the exploration corps. Uh because a lot of your uh equipment was uh from Corden Outfitting and Surveying Company. Oh. So they're what so they're basically a a wealthy uh you know that they're a wealthy family on Naboo who run a successful sort of um business supplying colonists and explorers with gear.
SPEAKER_02Okay. You may remember uh their family member James, who briefly had a holo show. Yes.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no, nobody liked it though. Uh I'm like, uh Zacordant, I haven't heard that name in a dog's age. Uh uh, how uh are you here on a routine expedition?
SPEAKER_06Well, if you must know, and I'm only saying this because you are much more pleasant to talk to than most of the Imperial scum that we run into, uh I'm actually b bankrolling a series of adventures. Myself and my compatriots are um well, we we find ourselves frequently on the edge of the empire, uh and we uh take to uh having various goings-on and adventures. It seems like every week we find ourselves in a new star system and uh uh interacting with uh new peoples, but one of my companions here, uh this is Valarisar of the Yeshuvu system. Bon Jomadan?
SPEAKER_05Do we know the planet Yeshuvu, or is that like the one in this system that we that we think?
SPEAKER_06Hey Starzan, why don't you roll me a one purple knowledge outer rim?
SPEAKER_05Oh, Starzan, Starzan time. Let's see what we got. Two threats.
SPEAKER_06Oh, Starzan.
SPEAKER_05How did you fuck that up? Starzan. It's two purple, two green.
SPEAKER_06What do you want? Yeah, so you've you've never heard of it. It sounds like, did you sneeze?
SPEAKER_05What would it be if any of us wanted to roll for that?
SPEAKER_06I think Starzan's the only it would be like a five purple. Starzan's the only one who probably would have heard of her system. Well, what about Illyria? Actually. You have one. Does anyone want to flip a destiny point? Oh. Because this is something that wouldn't be a knowledge-based, but it would be something that uh with a destiny point you could make true.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Make true. Make true? I'm so intrigued by that particular phrasing. Yeah, let's make something true. Let's flip it.
SPEAKER_06So you guys are probably just listening to this conversation through whatever onboard comms or in Chris's armor. Yeah. So you wouldn't have s really had a chance to look at this crew very much. But Callie, you flip the Destiny point.
SPEAKER_05I guess, unless someone else wants this to uh involve them. Illyria. It is in the unknown region. Should it should it be Starzan then? Or is it could well cause Starzan flipped? Flip it, flip it, flip it.
SPEAKER_06Well, who who wants this to be true? I don't know what that means. None of us do. You're taking a you're taking a risk.
SPEAKER_05You know what? I want it to be true. I'll I'll take it. I'm the main character of the universe now.
SPEAKER_06Kala, you remember very briefly, somebody named Velarisar, somebody with that name, a girl with that name, was in your clan at the Jedi Temple, but then left.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Can I can I if Chris has his radio open, can I say like she was at the Jedi Temple, Chris? Ask her.
SPEAKER_03Uh oh, Vl Velaris. I I'm sorry, did I uh remember s seeing you at the uh Jedi Temple?
SPEAKER_06I don't remember you, but yes, I was there. If you are uh Knights of the Empire, then it is possible that our paths crossed at some point and I just don't remember you. I was discovered on Yeshu by uh Republic explorers and briefly trained with the the Jedi, but I was found to be too old, and uh their methods didn't agree with me. I have heard the Imperial Knights have a p tendency to hunt Jedi. I assure you I have nothing to do with their conspiracy. I was in and out.
SPEAKER_03Oh no no no no no be uh betwe between you and me, this is no no bots uh with the uh Empire the Jedi. We are uh we're kind we're kind of our uh our own little uh crew. We're our we're kind of our own little crew.
SPEAKER_06Well And may I I hope I'm not being too forward, but among your number is there perhaps a Starzarian?
SPEAKER_05Ooh Starzan.
SPEAKER_06Socley bleu, how did you know? They bear distinctive markings on their face. I see them in my nightmares all the time.
SPEAKER_07Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I did the Starzarians too. Uh uh I I look what do you do, Starzan? Hey, if I look out the window, do I see Starzan just posing in front of a window?
SPEAKER_02He's got his face pressed against the glass.
SPEAKER_05He's all got his f his makeup on, so it's extra scary.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, there's just like a little like port hole in the docking ring where it's like the ships are connected to this little tiny circle that he's looking through, almost like a people.
SPEAKER_05He's got like permanent He's got like uh like an action figure angry face on.
SPEAKER_06He's got turtle face.
SPEAKER_03Oh, uh listen, I know I know that our Starzan Starzans can be very scary sometimes, but our Starzan is a gentle soul. Uh he would only hurt a fly. He he uh means well.
SPEAKER_01He means well He means He's really good, he's really well at Being mean. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He's not that bad. He makes some friends, right? He had that heated rivalry with Darthmall's brother.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. We should find out if that guy's still alive. I should seek him at some point and see if he's still alive.
SPEAKER_03But but you you are having nightmares. I have I have had vi uh I not not of the same thing, but I I have had visions. A ward's foresight as it were. Uh what uh if you must tell uh ple please tell me a little bit more about your dreams.
SPEAKER_05Not nightmares about uh waking up at two in the morning wandering out to our shared kitchen and just seeing starzan uh eating dozens of raw eggs in the middle of the night.
SPEAKER_03Everything sounds like an ASMR video, even though you're not listening to anything. You're just hypersensitive to everything around you.
SPEAKER_06Well, in my uh dreams I see the paint of the Starzarians screaming and yelling. I sense uh fear and destruction. It was from my very early childhood. I don't remember very much of it. I believe that the Starzarians attacked my village when I was a small girl. I guess it's a bit if you're listening to this. So you didn't know where Yeshuvu was. You've never heard of that planet before. Or you're just like real negligent. Yeah, why do you roll me a knowledge lore instead of uh Okay? I do have a green a yellow and lore. Yeah, you can add a blue, because this would be for the the history of your planet, see if anything like this has ever happened.
SPEAKER_02Okay, that's difficulty.
SPEAKER_06Okay. One success, one threat. Ooh. Uh-oh. So you're hearing about her her tale, and you're trying to think of like Yeshu. I don't know much about that planet, I've never heard of it. And your planet's been attacked a lot by, you know, the the Gijos and by the gobbets and various various other there's always action happening on your planet. Various playsets and vehicles just getting screwed strewn about. And you know, it is like you're s you're you're looking through through this peephole, and you can kind of see see this lady. And you are struck with sort of um a bit of nostalgia. You don't know why. And maybe you maybe it's only something that you realize in the back of your mind. But this woman, she kind she looks a lot like your mother. Way more like your mother than your sister does.
SPEAKER_01Oh what my god!
SPEAKER_05Oh my is this the true Starzanna? Is your sister an imposter? Oh Starzana, have you been eating kyber crystals for many years?
SPEAKER_02There's a pretender to the throne? That's the thing.
SPEAKER_05All this is not all this semen retention for not protecting the wrong person.
SPEAKER_00No, that's that's impossible.
SPEAKER_02Search your feelings. This is known to be true. Can I search my feelings? Can I search my feelings?
SPEAKER_06You can search their your feelings, there's not much in there. Okay. But so as she's talking to Chris, she says, Yes, I believe that the Starzarians attacked my world when I was very young. I don't remember much about it, but this place, I I felt a call to this place, as if there was some destiny that awaited me here, and uh I asked my adventuring party to accompany me here.
SPEAKER_03Is this where the star the the Starzarian people lived?
SPEAKER_06No, this is a just a planet on some edge of uh a constellation. I do not know what this place is. I've never seen or heard of this world or this system before, but I knew I had to be here at this moment. I had uh assumed that perhaps it had to do with uh riches that me and my party would be able to accumulate. And the ship starts coming back online as uh the Rodian does his repairs. And as the ship starts coming back online, there is like a little beeping that's coming from the cockpit. And Arani, the uh the heiress from Naboo, she she goes to the cockpit and she says, Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, they've been lying to us, they've been lying to us. Wait, what?
SPEAKER_03Wait, what have we been lying about? I I swear, we haven't been lying.
SPEAKER_06The Wookiee runs to the cockpit, he screams something, and uh Arani says, There's an Imperial ship coming out of hyperspace!
SPEAKER_05Oh shit!
SPEAKER_06Wait, is is are they tracking us? So if you go to your cockpit, you can see a ship emerges from hyperspace like a bullet that just then slows down. As it comes out of hyperspace, it doesn't come straight, it starts drifting and turning. Smoke billowing from blaster holes and impact points, sparks coming from it, the bridge of this thing that doesn't look dissimilar to a Star Destroyer, very similar geometry. The style is unlike anything you've ever seen, though. A lot more ornate and elaborate rather than the sort of functional military design. It almost feels like an antique from uh the little you saw of the omen while you were there. It's a very similar style.
SPEAKER_03Uh we're uh we're boned.
SPEAKER_05It is is there any way where it's like these people could like maybe just make a beeline out of the system and we could distract this other ship if they're the people that we actually came here to look for?
SPEAKER_03While I'm still on the ship?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they could just kidnap you.
SPEAKER_06I mean, stranger things have happened. The Wookiee starts like laughing and he calls the Rhodian over, and the Rodian says, Haha, they sent a broken ship after you. Why'd they do that?
SPEAKER_03Broken ship? What do you uh is it uh like what do you mean? Yeah, look at that thing.
SPEAKER_06Look how smashed up it is. There's holes all over, it's belchin's smoke. Looks like it collided with s l with another one. Look at the huge drag marks all across the hole. Looks like it'd been torn open like a can. I mean, if this is the Empire's best, I think we don't have anything to worry about, actually.
SPEAKER_03This feels this feels like bait. This feels like bait.
SPEAKER_05Can I like can we just like visually see the ship and like kind of get a feel? Like, is it just looking beat up because it's an antique, or does it look like it actually like got into some trouble? It definitely look looks like it got into some trouble.
SPEAKER_03Listen, we did listen, we didn't s uh sense the ship. They said they shouldn't even know that we're here.
SPEAKER_06And uh Arani the the woman from Naboo says, What do you mean why? What are you operating without the Empire's knowledge? Are you You haven't gone rogue, have you?
SPEAKER_03Uh no, we're kind of No playing all sides and coming and uh and whoever comes on top decide with the biggest.
SPEAKER_01We're playing all sides and coming all over the place and we all win.
SPEAKER_06You ambitious, duplicitous fuck. Don't double cross the empire. Never don't single cross the empire. That's how we've stayed alive by just avoiding them at all costs.
SPEAKER_03So we're trying to avo uh we're trying to do z uh that as well, but uh I don't know what's going on here. What uh what's this uh what this is? This broken ship that's here. Uh and I I I'm a radio back to you guys. Can you find out who's on that ship and what is going on?
SPEAKER_05Well, cause do you do you wanna do you wanna come back first, Chris? Because like it they look pretty beat up. I don't think they'd be trying to come after us without like going back to whatever the home base was to uh get fixed up first. So, you know, if you wanna come back, these the that crew can just get out of here if unless there's like something you wanna keep them around for, and then we can maybe trail this uh busted up ship back to the planet.
SPEAKER_03Uh I'll go back on the ship and I'll let them know to like it might be a good idea to hide hide behind an asteroid if you can.
SPEAKER_06I mean, I think we're gonna get out of here unless And they kinda look, they all like the crew, they all look at Valara. Because she's got this kind of like weird sort of distant look on her face. And she says, I sense a dark force on that ship. Many of them.
SPEAKER_03Many dark forces, you say. Well, we should probably uh we should probably hide Zen? I feel as if there's that many dark forces.
SPEAKER_06Are you not of them of their kind?
SPEAKER_03I mean I guess we technically are. We should probably uh lead them away from you. Listen, I'm gonna go back on my ship and uh we'll see if we might be able to deal with whatever this is, and then uh uh maybe we'll talk to uh maybe we'll talk to you again, uh Ms. uh Mrs. Gordon, uh Ms.
SPEAKER_06And the woman from Naboo, Arani, she steps in front of the the portal back to your ship and she says, uh-uh-uh, I don't think so. I don't want you going over there and telling them about us so they can come and pick us up or throw us in jail or whatever it is. I I don't want to use the word hostage, but I think you should stay here.
SPEAKER_03Do you think they care about me?
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean, if they don't care about you, then maybe you'll help us, but if they do, at least you'll be a uh a bargaining chip in case your friends over there betray us. We know how the Starzarians can be, ain't that right, Verlara?
SPEAKER_03I'm not here to lead them towards you. I barely know who you uh who you are.
SPEAKER_05Hey look, we can go check them out if uh they want to keep you there for security, Chris.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I just go into the r I just go into the radio, I'm like, it's up to you guys. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we're keeping your friend as a hostage. I hope that you don't take that the wrong way.
SPEAKER_03Um It's can I have a glass of water?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'm not sure if there's like a Rhodian hands you one.
SPEAKER_06He says, Here you go, my good sir. And you have to his little suction cup fingers pop off of it as you take it. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_05He can't help that. He's a Rhodian.
SPEAKER_06Apologies for my sticky fingers, good sir.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no, no. It's uh I I assume they come in handy. Ooh. No, not sexually.
SPEAKER_05I mean that way.
SPEAKER_01No, that's what the flat dick is for.
SPEAKER_05Look, look, between the between the flat dick and the suction cup fingers, Rhodians know how to please a partner.
SPEAKER_02Have we have we finally met flat dick Swayze? If anyone's gonna meet him, it would be Chris.
SPEAKER_05Look, it's better It's better than Argo with his thin blue line, at least. Okay, yeah, do we want to um kind of see if we can follow this ship to wherever it's going? Starzan, unless you want to say anything to this person before we go. This person who may or may not have awoken anything in you.
SPEAKER_00Starzan is sorry for any harm that the Starzarians may have caused your people in our intergalactic conquest.
SPEAKER_06Ah boy. And and uh Valar, she kind of she tr she doesn't know where Chrysalis Comlink is in your armor. So she just kind of talks into your chest and she says, Well, if it's uh I I don't know if I can accept your apology because I believe your people killed my parents. I don't remember my mother and father at all. But in the time I did spend with the Jedi, they did they did teach me a little bit to try and let go of that kind of thing and to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I will I will say that I do not bear any ill will against you in particular.
SPEAKER_02Ah, that's nice. Were you perhaps found in a basket floating in the reeds? Ooh.
SPEAKER_06I I do not remember that far back. I'm I'm sorry. I don't know how my village came upon me.
SPEAKER_02If I just have to if Starzan has to let her people go, we'll we'll know. Okay, well that's the right.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I do like the idea that she's like reverse Moses where it's like she could have been a she could have been the next Starzana, but then it's like nah, I'm gonna send this one down the river to go live in poverty.
SPEAKER_02Could have happened to anybody. Well, I think that's still diplomacy though, right? Acknowledging wrongdoing? Technically.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, can we try to can I try to fly uh fly stealthily and just like trail this uh this other ship?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so if you're okay with leaving Chris on the freighter, you can detach and approach uh the ship that just came out of hyperspace.
SPEAKER_05That'll be fine. Yeah, I mean maybe if Chris is on there, if we do need backup or rescue, he can persuade this crew to come and bail us out.
SPEAKER_03I can be very charming.
SPEAKER_06Its course is continue to continuing to stay off kilter. Uh it seems as like it's being drawn into the gravity well of a nearby moon. It doesn't seem to be moving under its own power. Oh. And it does it does seem like it's taken a lot of damage. Like, if you're looking at it straight head on, its entire, like, is it port or starboard? So uh starboard side is like has this huge gash along it.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Can we scan for life signs? Is there even anyone still alive on that thing?
SPEAKER_06Uh yeah, give me a two purple computers for a standard scan.
SPEAKER_01Someone told me a way.
SPEAKER_02You can figure out the difference between port and starboard. You know what it is? What? Port has four letters, and so does left.
SPEAKER_01Oh. That's what I thought. I thought that was left. Okay. Um, one success, one advantage.
SPEAKER_06You can scan this thing. And you can see it's definitely taken a lot of damage. There are uh a lot of life signs still aboard the ships, its power is fluctuating, engines are down, weapons are low power, relativistic shields just gone. This thing seems like it's it almost seems like it escaped a battle by jumping into hyperspace and just kind of ended up here.
SPEAKER_05And because like you said, that it doesn't appear to be moving of its own accord. Is it like does it seem like it's being tractored, like, to this moon or just like holding bike? Just drifting. Ooh.
SPEAKER_06So they might crash into the moon. Based on its trajectory, you get the feeling that yeah, it's gonna crash into this moon probably within the next, let's say, hour, hour and a half.
SPEAKER_05What do we think? Do we wanna offer them a tow? The big star the big star shi- I'm not there.
SPEAKER_06How how big is it? It's uh roughly Star Destroyer sized.
SPEAKER_03So bigger than.
SPEAKER_06Probably hard to tow.
SPEAKER_03Could we like nudging it? Do you wanna ship everybody Do you wanna uh take everybody on board? I I I did I I am gonna warn you guys, they said that there are dark presences on that ship.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Chris. And they didn't say that about us. They're doing their own scans aboard the freighter to try and see what's up. Um and uh the Rhodian. He says, guys, guys. That ship's carrying, based on my if my scans are right, that thing's carrying a shitload of Lignon or we could make a lot of money off of that.
SPEAKER_01Oh fuck. It's the Harbinger.
SPEAKER_05It is.
SPEAKER_01Oh we beat it.
SPEAKER_05It was time displaced! We like got here at the same time. Oh my gosh. Holy crap, how time displaced was it if it like just got here. Cause I guess you said it's like plus or minus 60 years from the present.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Was where like that was kind of where you could narrow it down to when it would have popped out.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06But it would have, it originated when it jumped, likely would have been when it separated from the omen thousands of years ago.
SPEAKER_05Ooh. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06Kesh is like clear on the other side of the galaxy.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So But there's still people alive.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Like, unless the like the prediction of when they would pop out was like way off.
SPEAKER_03Or wait, was that the In a way, is this why we were sent here? Yeah, the Emperor wants that ore.
SPEAKER_05Because we could maybe uh because we could ha like see if um we could hop over and see what their deal is. And if they suck, then like a ship full of dark presences? Look, we're a ship full of dark presences and we're fine.
SPEAKER_01It's harder to notice when there's only four of us.
SPEAKER_02True.
SPEAKER_05It's true. Because like we can at least find out what their deal is. Like, may maybe they separ that like the reason why they separated from the other ship is because like they had a big disagreement with each other and they're actually nice now. We don't know. And if they aren't, then we just pick up sticks and let them crash into the moon and then swoop in to s scoop up all the ore afterwards. If it survives. Yeah. If it survives. Or we just steal the ore. Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_03Steal the ore. The ore that's on the ship, right?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01No, ore that's floating in space.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Or, you know, the ship's messed up as heck already. We get in there, get into their good graces, space everyone, and then like just fix the ship enough that we can be good guys. Maybe they're assholes. We don't know. They might deserve it.
SPEAKER_02We can assume they deserve it until uh we are proven otherwise. Until we're proved wrong.
SPEAKER_05Do we want to live stupidly and just hail them?
SPEAKER_03We thou shalt live deliciously.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, let's dare to be stupid. Let's hail them.
SPEAKER_01Who's talking?
SPEAKER_05Oh, I guess m I would be the next the next one. I could just lie and use my cunning. Stars in, what's your presence? You are very strapping.
SPEAKER_02Let's see. It is a two. I think that is gonna be my next um f uh skill upgrade.
SPEAKER_01My presence is a one, I'll talk to them.
SPEAKER_02Get out of here.
SPEAKER_01I have a rank in leadership.
SPEAKER_02You sent the talkie guy over to the other ship. Look. We thought we'd only have to have one talkie guy.
SPEAKER_01Look, I've ranked up a negotiation and leadership.
SPEAKER_05No, I'm I'm here anyways, I'll ping them.
SPEAKER_06So you can uh try and communicate with them. It seems like a lot of their communication systems are down. You can tell that the like their brid something crashed into their bridge. Oh. So it seems like they're not really g receiving a lot of communications. If you flip between like channels and try and get like anyone or anything calling out, you do come across a channel that is not just pure static. And you do hear someone saying Hello, hello hello, is this is this someone out there? Hi. Who who is this?
SPEAKER_05You uh you on that ship?
SPEAKER_06Yes, I've are are are you well I I hesitate to say friend or foe because I do not know, but are you with the Republic or with the Sith?
SPEAKER_05Um, what what year do you think it is? Just curious uh kiosti.
SPEAKER_06Why?
SPEAKER_05Well, it looks like you might have had some damaged systems, and if that happened before you went into hyperspace, then you might have had some issues with your uh oh god, what's it called?
SPEAKER_01Relativistic shields. Thank you, Valeria.
SPEAKER_05With your uh relativistic shields, you're just wondering not of this ship.
SPEAKER_06I I've stowed away.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you stowed away? Oh yeah, nice. But um sick, sick, nasty. Fuck yeah, dog. We're okay. Like the the the year thing is relevant though, because uh Republican Sith, that's kind of like a little bit hanky right now. Um sounds like you were no friend of the Sith. It's complicated.
SPEAKER_03No, no comment, no comment. Don't answer that, don't answer that.
SPEAKER_05And hey, if you have stowaway, like maybe you can help us out.
SPEAKER_06If you've served the forces of good.
SPEAKER_05Look, we're um at a we're at a complicated junction of lives, that's the point. Look.
SPEAKER_06My name is Relindre. I am a Jedi Master. I I and my apprentice sabotage this vessel, but we are seeking a way to make sure that they do not survive. They're attempting to repair this ship before it collides with. I think there's a planet or something out there.
SPEAKER_05Uh, a moon, I believe. Um, Relen, I please, I am begging ya. I really need you to tell me what year you think it is.
SPEAKER_06The way you're saying that makes me think it may not matter.
SPEAKER_05Rellin. What an asshole. What a fucking asshole. What do you got to lose? Can you just tell me uh what year you think it is, please?
SPEAKER_062972? Oh, okay. Um, and we're like what, 80? You're in uh like 7950 something.
SPEAKER_02It's like uh 15 BBY.
SPEAKER_05What is BBY?
SPEAKER_01What's BBY? Brazilian buttons.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, Relin, we're 7959. You've gone through some pretty intense time dilation. Um, we were sent here to investigate this ship, but we have a creeping suspicion like the people on it are um not to put too delicately assholes. Um, but if you're a Then you might be able to give us a little bit of a hand. Because there's uh some crystals on that ship that we co that we really, really need, but um obviously don't necessarily want to save the people, transporting them, and like, hey, maybe if we get you out alive, that's uh just tickety-boo, isn't it?
SPEAKER_06It doesn't matter if they are allowed to return their course, if they can get this ore to the Sith back to Corban, then they'll be able to wage war. I've learned that they are planning an invasion of the Republic.
SPEAKER_05Um, ooh, yeah. So funny thing about that. Bright side, Corban is not really a thing anymore. It is just ruins. Um, bad side, there might uh the Republic might already be invaded, which is why we kind of don't want these guys getting back to them, but also like lost the war. Uh well, which war? Which war would that be?
SPEAKER_06Been a lot of old Star Wars.
SPEAKER_05Which war would he probably be referring to?
SPEAKER_06He's talking about they're preparing an invasion. Uh roll me a knowledge lore.
SPEAKER_01Oh hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06Uh yeah, uh let's say two purple and a for you guys, a blue.
SPEAKER_01Two successful advantages.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, Lyria's got it. Look at you go. So he's talking about, so he's from like 5,000 years in the past. So the war he's talking about is likely the Great Hyperspace War. Uh, which was the first time that the Sith tried a large-scale invasion or war against the Republic.
SPEAKER_05I I assume the Sith didn't win the Great Hyperspace War.
SPEAKER_06No, they did not.
SPEAKER_05Oh, uh no, no, that war the that war the Republic was fine on. So uh everything's uh cool cool and kicky with that. Probably, you know, might have been because the ship that was trying to help with the invasion is uh here, not around for that war. Um, no, there's been a lot of stuff happening in the galaxy. The point of my I think that we're kind of in agreement on is like maybe we should get rid of the people who are driving your ship, and we could really use that ore.
SPEAKER_06I am in agreement.
SPEAKER_05Groovy! Um now, is it just you? You said ya your Padawan was able to sabotage the ship. Ya Padawan with ya?
SPEAKER_06He gave his life destroying this ship's bridge.
SPEAKER_05Oh, sorry about that. There's uh man, that's real fresh for you too, eeks. I don't know how to deal with this.
SPEAKER_06Oh, well, unfortunately, he is the captain of this vessel.
SPEAKER_05Oh, the drama.
SPEAKER_01Bad boy and bad boy.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, apprentice on apprentice violence. So uh I take it we uh don't want to say the other apprentice then.
SPEAKER_06I have tried many times and failed.
SPEAKER_05That is indeed a bummer. Um damn sad.
SPEAKER_06I regret that his people may have just been too primitive to understand the ways of the Jedi.
SPEAKER_01Oh, wait!
SPEAKER_05His people, what do you mean? What do you mean? Is this a Starless episode?
SPEAKER_06The Khalish. They are vicious warriors, mindless. They think nothing of nothing but conquest. Uh-huh. They were the bones of their following.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they really make just grievous apprentices idea. Man, I was I was a little excited for a second, but you know, it's fine. Um I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think. Um, because it looks like there's a lot of damage to the outside of that ship. What are life support systems looking like?
SPEAKER_06There's air, and there's light, there's gravity.
SPEAKER_05And uh, where where are you stowed away right now?
SPEAKER_06I am I think near what used to be a hangar bay.
SPEAKER_05Uh a lot of people in the hangar bay?
SPEAKER_06Not anymore.
SPEAKER_05Oh, great. Cause like maybe if you uh can let us know which hangar bay you're in, if it's uh cleared out of people, we could try uh dock in there and then maybe we just like rip through that thing together.
SPEAKER_06In the future, do you have the technology to lock on to my communications?
SPEAKER_05Do we? Yeah. We would, right?
SPEAKER_06State of the art imperial ship, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Boy, howdy do we ever.
SPEAKER_01I do this.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, let's lock on. Give me a pretty standard. He's pretty old. There's a lot of interference. We'll call this a two-purple and a actually call it a red and a black. It could be a destiny point.
SPEAKER_01This isn't like an auto ship system. Three success, two threat.
SPEAKER_06So you can lock onto him? Unfortunately, where he is, it he's right, it did used to be a hangar bay. There is half of a hangar bay remaining.
SPEAKER_05So would we have to go out like wearing uh spacesuits or just wouldn't be able to dock easily?
SPEAKER_06Uh you can set the ship down, but you might at you'll at least need like masks until you can sort of get inside the ship. So while you guys on the terrible turn were talking to this uh stowaway Jedi on the Harbinger. On the other ship, on the freighter, uh, the adventuring party was has been conspiring with dollar signs in their teeth uh about all of the money they'll be able to collect from the ore aboard that ship and have started making a beeline for one of the open hangar bays with the intent to try and raid the cargo hold.
SPEAKER_03Uh, do you think uh we should be sneaking on uh such a big and uh uh bol bold ship like this? Are you sure you can uh s stay quiet?
SPEAKER_06And Arani, the uh the wealthy woman from Naboo, she says, Hey, look, I've been bankrolling our expeditions, but you know, even my funds are running a bit low. We need to make some money here. So I figure the ship looks pretty beaten up. Kelko and Roarwar can probably find us somewhere safe to land, and we just make a beeline for wherever their cargo hold is, grab a couple of crates full of these crystals and get out of here before it crashes.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no, because like it did it did kind of occur to me that it's like, I guess we don't actually need to get rid of the people on the ship. We just kind of have to get the the ore and then we can let gravity take care of the rest. Realistically.
SPEAKER_03Listen, it's it uh I feel I feel as though my team uh my team and your team are very a uh aligned in our goal, and I feel like we might be able to help each other.
SPEAKER_06Well, if you think that uh we're gonna be able to help each other, look, I'm getting the feeling that this thing, whatever it is, ain't imperial. And I I agree. If you're with the Empire, then maybe this thing's an enemy of yours. If you're not with the Empire, maybe it's the same thing. I trust Valara if she thinks there's something bad on that ship, then uh I believe her. She's gotten us out of a few jams with that uh fifth sense of hers, so you know.
SPEAKER_03If if there's something bad on the ship, why are you risking uh why are you risking your lives for For money? For money, yes, of course.
SPEAKER_06Daddy needs money.
SPEAKER_03Yes, but money is not uh easy to spend when you are dead.
SPEAKER_06Well, that's why we're not gonna die.
SPEAKER_03That's the spirits, that's what I like to hear.
SPEAKER_05But like the the hangar that they're taking Chris towards, is that anywhere near the one that we're pulling into?
SPEAKER_06Um it's it's on the same side because they're like these hangar bays, they are kind of like right next to each other, all of them. And they are all sort of sheared off along the same side. So it is near it. They're not heading for one in particular.
SPEAKER_05Because like we can maybe try to meet up with them and then just like get all the ore off and like split it split a 50-50 so we have something to take back to be like, look, we did our job and they can, you know, fund themselves.
SPEAKER_03Go fund yourself. We can even fund people. Jesus. We could fund people.
SPEAKER_05We could oh my god, we could just like Well, okay, let's see what happens with the ore, cause like cause if it's like we want as much of it as possible to keep to keep our ruse up, then it's like maybe we would want to just give them because we are like fucking rich as hell.
SPEAKER_03We are rich as hell, dude.
SPEAKER_05We are so flipping rich. Like we could maybe just give them money in exchange for like just let us take just let us take all the ore.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I think we can. I don't know how much this ore is worth though.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And you could ask, like, see how much uh they would be expecting to sell them the ore for. Have that ore.
SPEAKER_03They're minimal minerals, Mary.
SPEAKER_05Would you wanna ask them and be like how much would the cause like if if you ask them, because you're the only one on there with them.
SPEAKER_03Listen, uh, if you don't mind me asking, how uh if you were to gather all the ore and sell it, how much how do you know how much you might be getting? How much would satisfy you? Well, um $50,000.
SPEAKER_06See that uh pendant around my friend's neck there? And he points to this uh little carved uh crystal. This kind of like looks like it's carved or some kind of I don't know, like a crystal meteorite or something around Volara's neck. And she says, something the size of that, uh something you can put in like a laser sword or something. That that'll run you like, I don't know, like 10k.
unknown10k.
SPEAKER_06A ship the size of that looks like it was uh some kind of maybe a heavily armed transport, bulk freighter, mining vessel. That's gonna be worth millions and millions of credits. If we could get all of it, I don't think we're gonna be able to get all of it. But uh, you know, if we can get out out of there with a crate or two, depending on how refined the crystals are. If it's raw ore, that's gonna be less. If it's actually cut crystals, that's gonna be more. But I'd say, you know, we're getting into six figures with what we can get out of this. Maybe high five. Six, I'm hoping. Six million? If six figures. Oh, six figures. I mean. If all four of us can get out there with a big crate.
SPEAKER_05And if it's like a six-figure value that we'd be looking at, like we could pro we'd probably pay them off for that. That's true, because like I have like two hundred forty-five grand.
SPEAKER_03I have two hundred and fifty-eight grand.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, really have a similar way.
SPEAKER_06What do I got? You're not gonna say if they're so if so if you split if you split a million between yourselves and they're thinking that their take is gonna be in the six figures, then you wouldn't you would be out of money if you tried to pay them off that much.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I mean, we could maybe out like pay them off for some of it at least, just so we get a bet a bigger share of what's on offer. But like, if if we can all kind of meet up and just see like if we can raid this ship together and then get this Jedi out.
SPEAKER_03You uh you and me, we are gonna do uh incredible things. And we're will we're willing to uh once we get the ore, we're willing to buy it off of you. For how much? Uh how how much do you guys let let me uh confer with my associates if you don't mind, and I I go in the corner with my walkie-talkie. Uh boys, girls?
SPEAKER_05Because like what if we say like we won't necessarily be able to buy all of it off of them? But if it's like start with a 50-50 split and then we'll buy like an extra like hundred K like a hundred an extra hundred grand worth, and then just like split that cost four ways amongst ourselves. So we're at least getting a bigger a bigger cut of what we're whatever we can get.
SPEAKER_03Uh what the uh we'll start at 50-50 and then we will pay a hundred a hundred grand for uh whatever we ca uh whatever we can.
SPEAKER_06Well, there's four of us for you, as long as we're all carrying equal weight, then I think that makes sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's what that's the ticket.
SPEAKER_05Except maybe you don't say it like that, Chris, because it does make you sound real ominous. Yeah. Real villainous. What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_06And if you don't hold up your end of the bargain, then I'll have Roarwar over there pull your arms out of your sockets. Yeah, the big hairy pilot.
SPEAKER_03I'm sorry, his name is Rar? Roar War. Rarwar? Are you trying to antagonize the Wookiee? No, I'm trying wow. It's hard with my accent. Wa wah? Wa. I I'm I'm not even gonna out of out of respect for you and your crew, I am not going to attempt it anymore. Okay.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03For the best.
SPEAKER_05Okay, let's see if we can all meet up then. Hopefully this Jedi is fine with uh helping us just pick up some c some crystals and go in. We'll see.
SPEAKER_06So you can land your ships in what remains of the same hangar bay. Life support is not functional here. So you will have to wear your your breath masks.
SPEAKER_05Do we ha- do we have an extra one that we could bring out for the Jedi? If I don't know if he has one or if he's like hiding in an adjacent room or something. Or could we have asked him when we were uh on the radio?
SPEAKER_06I mean, he's been stowing away on a busted ship. He might have found something already.
SPEAKER_05Hey man, you need uh you need a breather? I am adequately supplied. Okay, cool. Let's go out.
SPEAKER_06So you can go out and the crew of the freighter goes out as well. It's a little awkward, uh, but you've been kind of talking to each other through the radio. They seem ready to go.
SPEAKER_05Okay, are we ready to uh do some loot and then get out of here?
SPEAKER_03Let's loot do some looting and hopefully not a lot of shooting. We are ready. We loot and then scoot.
SPEAKER_06Oh, loot and scoot. I'll have a loot and scoot. So you can hurry inside, the door opens, and you can scoot in before uh the coldness of space manages to give you deep frostbite.
SPEAKER_05We find the Jedi.
SPEAKER_06The Jedi is there waiting for you.
SPEAKER_05Oh, hello.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, he was the one who opened the door.
SPEAKER_05Okay, perfect. Relin, uh Master Drew, I don't know how you prefer to be addressed. Lovely to meet ya.
SPEAKER_06This is your uh Motley crew. Quite an assemblage.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Look, the other ship also has a bunch of different races on it. It's normal to be friends with people of different races.
SPEAKER_05Is he being racist? Is that what it is?
SPEAKER_06I apologize. My comment about the Kaliche earlier. I do not know. Yeah, it was a little weird. Perhaps in the future the Kaliche have abandoned their warlike ways.
SPEAKER_05Well, I mean Well, nobody Nobody's perfect.
SPEAKER_03Nobody's perfect. Uh Poperty's nerfed. Nobody's nerficed. That's the one. Very well.
SPEAKER_05But yeah, so we are here. We'll get you out of here. Um, it occurred to us that, you know, like this is g gonna be crashing into the moon. We need the awe, but you know, if we get the awe and then just leave this to uh let gravity do the rest, we can just get you on out and then bing, bing, bang, boom, we're all good.
SPEAKER_06Well, I am concerned.
SPEAKER_05Okay, spell, what's your c what are you concerned?
SPEAKER_06The Sith aboard this vessel are endeavoring to get it operational. They are in the engine rooms trying to repair the vessel to move it on to a new course so it does not crash. The engine rooms are not that far from the ventral cargo hold where all of this ore is stored.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so we can like go down there and kinda take care of all of our concerns at once.
SPEAKER_06Perhaps I hope you are confident in your abilities.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. Oh, speaking of our abilities, I should probably get that suppress feel going. Get given that this is a ship full of Sith, that might be uh very helpful. You never know.
SPEAKER_06Never know it'd come into it. Not all Sith are uh trained in the use of the force, but they do have an innate connection to the dark side, which is only enhanced by the Legnanor that they are carrying. Based on how many of them seem to remain, I estimate that a large chunk of the ship's crew has been destroyed by the battle, but they could still have a substantial number of soldiers remaining.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, okay, c so I just rolled my force for suppressed. What do we have for destiny? Uh, you have one? I'm gonna have to flip that because I rolled five lightside. Well, at least you can use the. You're such a good boy. Yeah. I'm so good. I'm so good. Flip that and then take five strain to use those and commit them. Well, do you want to use all of them? I mean, well, let's see. Like, five is a good roll. Five's a I know, that's why I'm like, I might as well just commit them all so I can just get a really good field on. But like, because it's one to activate, one to extend the range, and I think I have like all the range upgrades. One, two, for strength. Actually, you know what? I think I'm gonna I'm gonna do mid-game level up and get another strength. Yeah, dog. So I have two strength upgrades.
SPEAKER_06So I think you would only need to spend uh three. One to increase the range, one to increase the strength, and one to just use it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Okay. Commit 'em all. That's the effect that we got going. I'm such a good boy. You're such a good boy. I'm such a good boy. I'm the best boy. I am the eldest boy. So that should help a little bit.
SPEAKER_06He says, Alright, so based on what I've been able to determine about these ships, we don't know that much about them. But uh, a ship like this probably has around 10,000 crew members, troops, passengers. Uh the damage probably hurt that significantly, so I would expect no fewer than 5,000 Sith aboard.
SPEAKER_03Hooey. Five thousand? Wow. That is that that's so many Sith that made me forget my accent for a second.
SPEAKER_05Chris, why are you talking like that?
SPEAKER_03Why am I talking like what? I don't know what you are talking about.
SPEAKER_05How long is it gonna be till we meet uh any other falling and realize that that's just an accent that Chris has been putting on? Just for fun.
SPEAKER_03You you already suspect. Let's face it.
SPEAKER_01He was raised by the Twileks.
SPEAKER_05Every now and then he drops it and it's like, wait a second.
SPEAKER_06He was raised by the Jedi, and the one uh Twiilec that he was in contact with did not have that accent.
SPEAKER_02Curiouser and curiouser. I thought it made me look sophisticated.
SPEAKER_05I mean, look, it's been working for him so far, so you can't argue with that. You can't argue with the results.
SPEAKER_03Results!
SPEAKER_05Okay, yeah, so let's go down to where the area where the ore is being stored and where the engines are.
SPEAKER_06So do you want to uh avoid being spotted?
SPEAKER_05Probably. We should probably avoid people raising the alarm before uh we absolutely need that. Or before, you know, any earlier than necessary.
SPEAKER_06So you're a pretty big group, there's eight of you. Um so if one of you wants to roll, uh you will get some uh penalties out of that.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_06But it would mean that those of you who are not good at stealth wouldn't have to roll necessarily.
SPEAKER_05Hmm. Because I have a yellow three green to stealth. What's everyone else's stealth?
SPEAKER_03I am. If you have a yellow three green, I think you win immediately, but like I got three green.
SPEAKER_02Uh a yellow, a green, and a blue.
SPEAKER_01Uh oh my god, I have a rank and stealth. One yellow, one green.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, so because maybe Kala should take the lead and kind of like everyone trail behind her. Yeah. Tell you when to stop advancing if there's people coming.
SPEAKER_06So I'll say this. If you're all rolling individually, it's gonna be against a red and a purple. I'll give you destiny point. If one of you is rolling, then it is going to be a against a red, a purple, and two blacks.
SPEAKER_05I feel like I could make this roll. A red, purple, two black. You got this. You got this. I don't think we have any destiny, because I think I used the last one for my uh boss. I gave you one back for the roll. Oh, you did? Yeah, because I can flip a destiny point, get one more yellow, because then it's two yellow, two green against the red, purple, two black. Woo-woo! So, you know what? Unless anyone's really dying to roll their own stealth, but you know. We'll see how this goes. You got a fam. Ooh, two threat, one triumph. Ooh. Interesting.
SPEAKER_06Stranger. Stranger. So, um, you begin sneaking through the halls of this damaged Sith ship. And for a while it seems like you're okay. Uh, but as you get closer and closer to the cargo hold and to where the engines are, you start hearing more uh people talking, you start seeing more shadows on distant walls around corners, and eventually your luck runs out you round a corner and come face to face with a hulking Masasy warrior, this kind of like Sith offshoot. Bigger than the Sith species, more monstrous, potentially uh alchemically modified. Ooh. He's wielding like a huge sword. Like it's not a lightsaber, but it has runes etched into it. Uh, and you can see that it is like very ritualized as if uh it has been imbued with power and the force, and he sees you, and without even thinking, he just takes a big swing at you.
SPEAKER_05I don't think I have the power, but gonna dodge.
SPEAKER_06Uh well, you did get that triumph, so he's gonna have uh that upgraded with a red.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, no, I don't have dodge. Uh two failures, three advantages. So he swings at you. His sword force imbued as it enters your zone. Because it is in your zone. Whatever strength it had added to it by whatever masters of the mystic arts uh improved his blade, do not take effect, and it does kind of bounce off your armor. Oh nice. He is he is really big and strong though, so just the pure force of it does kind of like knock you down a little bit.
SPEAKER_05Okay. He'll stumble. Get oofed. Is it is it just this one guy? Yeah. Okay, so maybe we can just try to take out this one dude. I can take one before uh he raises any any any ruckus.
SPEAKER_02Can I smash him?
SPEAKER_06Smash him? Okay. So this'll be a two purple. Okay. Use a brawl, I suppose. Three success. So you can grab him this uh huge. He's taller than you, more muscular than you. Oh well.
SPEAKER_05How dare no one's more muscular than Starzan?
SPEAKER_02More monstrous than you all call it. Oh just been banging the steroids?
SPEAKER_05He's been crunching up the stones.
SPEAKER_03What's your secret? I don't coop up my semen.
SPEAKER_05Oh no, semen retention has gotten to you. We don't know that. That's not canonical.
SPEAKER_03That's not canonical.
SPEAKER_02Starzan's gonna have to start blasting rope as part of his uh workout routine.
SPEAKER_05I'm coming in the gym, I am coming at You can grab him.
SPEAKER_06It's not gonna be enough to kill him, uh, but if somebody else wants to take advantage, they might be able to uh use your opening. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Because I I might be a little bit too oofed to get in there. That'll probably be a leer uh Chris.
SPEAKER_01Lifesaber! Swordem! Swordem. I don't think I have any like I'll just like swipe 'em. I'd never use my lightsaber. I want to use my lightsaber. One success, one triumph, one threat. You roll fucking good.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I know you started the like everyone's talking about good my rolls are thing because you're rolling bad, but it's like you've legitimately been rolling like stupid good lately.
SPEAKER_01I've uh accumulated a lot of bad karma. Or like a boost.
SPEAKER_05I need the boots.
SPEAKER_06Your time has come. It's balancing itself. Alright, roll me uh roll me your D100 then.
SPEAKER_01What? 38.
SPEAKER_06It's a stinger. Increase the difficulty of his neck check by one, his check to remain alive.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_06Look, we don't look at a gift crit in the mouth. So you you kill him, but as he dies from your blade, he lets out this like pained roar. So you're gonna have to move quickly. It's definitely loud enough for other people to hear.
SPEAKER_03Everybody move, get the fuck out now! Oh scattle.
SPEAKER_05I can't be there to cover to cover Yo, Scattle!
SPEAKER_03I can't be there to cover his mouth.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, scattle. It's like Skud Adle, but like It's like Skud Addle, but for people who are really in a hurry, so you can't even spare those extra syllables.
SPEAKER_01Was the green?
SPEAKER_05Oh. Is that just me?
SPEAKER_01Um It's okay, you're not from Saskatchewan.
SPEAKER_05You're allowed to talk fucking wrong. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so you can yard on him with your weapon as you scattle on your way. And I'm never gonna forget that stupid I And you can run, unfortunately, in the direction that this big warrior was coming from, so you may and uh do see others as you approach the cargo hold. And you can see that there are some of these big Masasi warriors that are standing guard at the entrance of the cargo hold. Inside, you can see a couple of robed scith. They seem to be priests or sorcerers or mystics of some kind that are kneeling in front of Well, a mound, a pile, a heap? Crystals? You ever see uh a silo full of crystals?
SPEAKER_03Ooh. A silo full of crystals? That sounds magnificent, actually.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's it's the raw mined crystals not cut or shaped or cleaned or anything. It's just like the the the dirty raw crystals that they found from this planet. But the crystals that are on this ship in this cargo hold, there is enough. You could definitely buy a star system with how much these crystals are worth.
SPEAKER_05Holy shit.
SPEAKER_06So they're worth more than a hundred thousand? Oh, way more. If you can get away with all of them.
SPEAKER_05Well look, we don't need to get away with all of them. It's just we split 50-50 and then, you know, buy a hundred thousand extra off of them. Just so we get a little bit more.
SPEAKER_06What you notice about this cargo hold is that it is not a like just a tub where they dumped, it is a detachable modular cargo container.
SPEAKER_05Oh, nice! Does it have its own like flight controls or anything?
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_05Okay, well, that's fine. We can still like detach it and then like after we sabotage the ship, go back and scoop it up.
SPEAKER_03I mean, yeah.
SPEAKER_06But the problem is you got these sorcerers in there. Uh, and urging them on, commanding them, driving them as a slave driver would, is a caliche dressed in similar robes.
SPEAKER_05Uh the apprentice.
SPEAKER_06And you can hear him telling them to work harder, to focus harder. Probably a knowledge of lore, maybe. Let's see. Um two purple and a black.
SPEAKER_01One failure, three advantage.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, two failure, one advantage.
SPEAKER_01Succeed, succeed! Purple and a black.
SPEAKER_03One success and two threat for me. There you go. I got nil. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Well, Chris succeeded at least.
SPEAKER_03With threat. Well with threat.
SPEAKER_06Chris. That's me. What you've heard, unfortunately, the th so you got uh some threat with that. Unfortunately, uh, this may make things harder for you if you have if it comes to uh to violence, but you have heard of Lignan Ore before, and in your travels, you have specifically heard that Lignon Ore can be used to it is like connected to the dark side of the force, and can be used by wielders of the dark side to greatly enhance their powers. You get the sense that the mechanics in the engine room are not the ones who are gonna save the ship. It is the sorcerers drawing upon the power of the ore and augmenting their abilities that are going to move the ship out of the way of crashing.
SPEAKER_05What do we say? We just smoke these guys, and then we don't have to worry about getting to the engine room.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we just take the ship. Yeah, the trick is they're they're all connected to this ore. They're probably pretty strong in the force right now if they are endeavoring to move this giant starship.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I got suppressed right now, that distracted.
SPEAKER_06So you do have suppress right now.
SPEAKER_03How do you do a fellow sets? You say that as if it's about to backfire on us.
SPEAKER_06So is it as you approach this modular cargo container where the silo of crystals is where the sorcerers are focusing on trying to have the ship not crash into the moon, as you approach, you begin to feel the ship tilt in a way where it's like they were pulling it away from the moon. Now it's beginning to fall to the moon faster.
SPEAKER_05Excellent.
SPEAKER_06Because their connection to the force is dampened.
SPEAKER_05Excellent. Are they distracted trying to figure out what's going on?
SPEAKER_06Uh the s yeah, they that's why the Kaliche Jedi or the Kaliche Sith is uh trying to scream at them to work harder.
SPEAKER_05Can I try to peek my little head around the corner with my little gun and aim my little scope at that Kaliche's little head?
SPEAKER_06You can. As you pull your scope up, there is a like darkness falls over it as the Jedi master takes his cloak off and like tosses it, and it just kind of like falls on the barrel of your rifle.
SPEAKER_05Oh come on. What it what?
SPEAKER_06He's doing a stupid Jedi thing.
SPEAKER_05What are you doing? What are you doing? You already said he was beyond Save, and I okay, I know this doesn't mean anything to you. I smoked Count Dooku. He was a pretty powerful Sith lord. I did it.
SPEAKER_06Sace Rogan!
SPEAKER_05Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06My old Padawan. Your evil ends here!
SPEAKER_05Okay. No no no. I have to do a whole little thing. You can't just shoot someone. Fucking Jedi sometimes, man. No wonder we actually, you know what, I'm not gonna finish that thought.
SPEAKER_03Wonder we kill all of them. Uh another conflict on there.
SPEAKER_05No, I mean I honestly well actually we might need to start tracking conflict now that it's like we might be uh trying to do a little about face. It's not like fucking Vanry and Rhombius, where it's like evil every day all the time.
SPEAKER_02We're not murdering people in alleys, that's the other game.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. We're not murdering just for the pleasure of it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Is he just striding out and trying to get this guy's attention?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, he's going on about uh, you know, I gave you a chance to return to good. You have, you know, you're going to die here. All the Jedi stuff that you say when it's like, this ain't gonna help.
SPEAKER_05Man, whatever. I'll smoke I'll can I smoke the uh the other concentrating mystics? Just take the cloak off and shoot them instead. If he wants to do his stupid little jerk-off thing with his old apprentice, whatever.
SPEAKER_06So that'll be against their vigilance. Okay. So you this'll be your cool versus their vigilance.
SPEAKER_05God, I hate uh my cool so bad! It's not a career skill! Man, I can't believe it's not. I can't believe you're making me do this. You are making me do a mid-game level up to get a ro uh a rank and cool, even though it's not a career skill.
SPEAKER_02It is a good idea to upgrade your cool, you know.
SPEAKER_06For a sniper to have good cool?
SPEAKER_02Shut up. Yeah. You know, you'd think it'd be a good one. Yeah. But I mean, after all we've been through. No. No, I've already put an addendum on that. So this will be. Against a red and two purple. It's been a while.
SPEAKER_05Both of you, stop!
unknownGod!
SPEAKER_05What's it gonna be against? God damn!
SPEAKER_06A red and two purple.
SPEAKER_05Red, two purple, thank you. What do we have for Destiny?
SPEAKER_06You have none.
SPEAKER_05Never mind. Goose egg. Nil. Oh, one success, three threats.
SPEAKER_06Uh, yeah, so one of these sorcerers, you can uh blast in the head. The gunshot rings out, one of them goes down a pool of blood leaking out from under his hood as his head hits the floor. However, you can feel in the force the attention of all the other sorcerers go directly to you.
SPEAKER_05I'll see him try. Shit, I got my suppress field on the void is sucking, baby!
SPEAKER_06And they all stand up and they reach onto their belts, and they take these lightsaber hilts, and they reach onto their belts and they pull the cord off of the power packs and plug it into the bottom of their hilts, and then they ignite their red lightsabers.
SPEAKER_03Well, I did my move. I guess, uh uh, like w i if we're how how many are left? If you do a quick head count, there's five left. Are are we taking six of them? Are we taking them all are we taking them all out then?
SPEAKER_05Ideally, I think. Alright. I don't think any of them are worth saving.
SPEAKER_06They're pretty close to me, right? So you could so if you want to use your heartwood blaster, that's got a medium range. So you could get within medium range if you want, or you could get closer. They're all focused on Kala right now. The Kalish Sith is uh occupied with his former master.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, with my Heartwood Blaster, I'm going to go for one of these guys that are uh one of these m uh sorcerers here.
SPEAKER_06One of the sorcerers. Are you gonna try and fire when you get into medium range, or are you gonna wait till you get into short? I'm gonna fire one in medium range, just so I can stay vigilant. Okay, so that'll be a two purple. And you can suffer strain up to your force rating as a maneuver, uh, and then you can add advantage.
SPEAKER_03I gotta roll that is a threat and a triumph, so if I sound like a side. Okay, that turns it into an advantage. Yeah. So that's what I'm so vantage and triumph. Fuck yeah, dog.
SPEAKER_06So you can't hit one of the sorcerers. Uh is there anything else you want to hit instead?
SPEAKER_03Oh, do you want to hit the cliche? Oh yeah, let's get uh let's uh ricochet that bullet and then have it hit uh uh that guy instead.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so your heartwood blaster, it is connected to the force, and you find as you hold out your hand to fire, like almost subconsciously, it's drawn away from like the sorcerer and it's drawn to the Kaliche, and you pull the trigger, and you fire, and a bolt hits him just as he's about to strike down the Jedi, and the bolt doesn't do a lot of damage to him, but it does hit him enough that why don't you roll your crit?
SPEAKER_03Holy shit. Because you did get a triumph. Because I did get a triumph and I hit a guy. I got fuck, 97.
SPEAKER_05Nice!
SPEAKER_06Uh, so which limb did you cripple? The head is not a limb.
SPEAKER_01Man.
SPEAKER_03Uh that's my second running joke. Is the neck a limb?
SPEAKER_05Oh, it is much more limb-like. Um, I'm gonna-closer to like a hand or a foot.
SPEAKER_03Does he have a dominant hand? Is which hand is he holding the lightsaber on? Yeah, you can shoot his lightsaber hand. I am gonna shoot his lightsaber hand.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. He drops it. Hell yeah. Giving the the Jedi the opportunity to take the advantage and uh force him into submission. Submission, submission. There are, now that the battle has started, other Masasi warriors are coming up back from where you came from, but the party of adventurers you recruited are starting to fight against them.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so we we can deal with the sorcerers, they can deal with the uh the big monstrosities. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They have a Wookiee.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they have a Wookiee, they'll be fine. They'll be fine. They'll be fine.
SPEAKER_01Uh Miko?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Lightsaber. Sword! Sword!
SPEAKER_06Lightsaber! Sorcerers.
SPEAKER_01I I just haven't had luck with my um my hurt, my harm powers, so I will sword to them.
SPEAKER_06Okay. So that will start as two purple. Now they've got their laser swords out, that gives them uh some defense. That'll be two purple and a black. And I'm gonna give you a destiny point. We'll call that a red and purple and a black.
SPEAKER_01Three success, three threat? Ooh.
SPEAKER_06So these are trained warriors. So I'm trained. The one you are going to attack, you can strike him, gouging him deeply, but uh it's going to use his improved parry. If somebody attacks and rolls three threat, they automatically get to hit you once with their lightsaber.
SPEAKER_01Damn, bitch.
SPEAKER_06So these priests have done several modifications to their lightsabers. They've been using them for a long time. These are not uh neophytes. So the base damage of a lightsaber, their lightsaber is ten.
SPEAKER_01Whoa!
SPEAKER_06You got your Quartosis armor. So you only take five.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you're fine. Ow, ooh, ow. Jinx it. Which of these is your death city boat? Just make sounds for a little bit.
unknownAh!
SPEAKER_01That's more me eating a poison apple in Skyrim.
SPEAKER_05What do you mean, great aunt as a representation?
SPEAKER_06So this sorcerer that you attacked, Deliria, in retaliation is going to it's trying to hurl you away. So he has to roll his force with a discipline check. So he got on his roll before the uh suppression field comes into play. An advantage, three light sides and two darks.
SPEAKER_05You ain't got shit, buddy. He ain't got shit. You ain't got shit! You got a failure, you got four three failures.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so can I get it? Three of those.
SPEAKER_05The void suckin' beanie.
SPEAKER_06He gathers his key together, pushes it together with his hands, focuses it inwards, and tries to blast you with it. He sticks out his hands. Nothing happens, but now his arms are just out there.
SPEAKER_05Oh shit! I'm ready. Somebody else get him. Is it just Starzan who hasn't gone? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Who else has a sword?
SPEAKER_05Starzan has a sword!
SPEAKER_02My Thar Thword. Oh, and also Panthar will attack people. I said that I'm gonna remember to that he can do that.
SPEAKER_06Do you want to use a maneuver to direct Panthstar? Yeah. Stick. Who do you want to send him after? The guy the guy with his arms outstretched? Yes. Bite that arm.
SPEAKER_05Just snap it off at the wrist.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So he attacks, he gets two success and a threat. He lunges out of nowhere, bites this guy's arms off. Nice. However, the threat now there's a big animal that's on the field. The sorcerers uh love killing animals, it seems.
SPEAKER_05Oh no!
SPEAKER_06They hiss at each other.
SPEAKER_02What a beast!
SPEAKER_00We must dissect it!
SPEAKER_02Now it's my turn to kill that one.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, kill the gross one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Gonna use my force to upgrade my strength to six. Okay. And uh yeah, no, hit him with my lightsaber. That'll be a give me a destiny point, a red, a purple, and a black.
SPEAKER_06For success, two threat. So you can leave them in twain. Unfortunately, you got those two threat. You can feel the ship beneath your feet starting to shudder as it uh begins breaking up as it gets closer to the gravity of the moon. You have succeeded in diverting the sorcerer's attention so they can't pull the ship away. But now the ship is crashing. It's gonna crash into the moon very soon.
SPEAKER_05Oh shit, so can write this ship. Cause should we maybe have like someone run back to like our ships, get them like detached, and then everyone else just be in this pod when it separates. And then the ships can just scoop up the rest of the crew.
SPEAKER_03Should that be some kind of uh mechanic or somebody who's not good at battle? Can anybody do it, I should ask.
SPEAKER_05I mean, because that would be like piloting if it's like getting it off the uh just getting it detached.
SPEAKER_06So it should presumably uh Kala and Roarwar would be the ones to go since they seem to be Roar War seems to be the pilot of uh the freighter and Kala's the pilot of the terrible turn.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I'll I'll all yell just like, I'm gonna bring the ship around. Yell just like Roar War, I'm bringing our ship around. I won't bring y'all ship too.
SPEAKER_06Kala and the Wookie, you guys can run back to the ship, uh, but because, you know, everybody knows what's going on here, uh, there are some Sith that are blocking your way. If you're doing running, trying to running shot with a rifle, uh, what range are you doing this in?
SPEAKER_05Um how what kind of range would we be getting to in like the hallways of a ship? Like I feel like medium range would probably be like as long as you're getting.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So if you want to try uh firing some shots at these guys at medium range, you're running, so that will add a black, give you another destiny point, so that'll be a red, a purple, and a black to fire at uh the Sith that are coming at the halls.
SPEAKER_05What do we have for Destiny? You have three. I'm gonna flip one of those, just because maybe if I do good enough, I can just ping them all. Four success, two advantage.
SPEAKER_06So you can you can take out a couple of these guys. Uh there's still a few of them left. Come on, Roarboar! Uh, and they're gonna fire at Yucala. Oh fuck. What? Uh failure, two advantages, and two triumphs.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_06That's not great. They don't hit Yukala, but they gun down the Wookie. No, like all the way? Two triumphs worth of gunning down a Wookie? He's Wookie, though! Um, I'm gonna roll their crits and see what they do.
SPEAKER_05Oh no, does he have a stim pack in his backpack? Do I have a stim pack? I have a stimpack.
SPEAKER_06The first one is 48. Not not my favorite, no. Actually, no, increase the difficulty of all intellect and cunning checks, Headringer. Uh, so I mean, it's not great, but uh you don't need intellect or cunning to fly a ship. The second one, the lad 10, 65, becomes 75. Hamstrung loses free maneuver, so he's greatly slowed down. You see his uh his leg beginning to become matted with blood.
SPEAKER_05Ooh! Because how how many Sith are left in this hallway?
SPEAKER_06Well, three. There's three in there.
SPEAKER_05There's three? Because I'm like, do I want to try to shoot them again, or do I wanna put a stim pack on Roar War?
SPEAKER_01I can help. Am I here? I can help.
SPEAKER_06Well, they're running back to the ships, so.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. So I think it was just me and Roar War who who took off. Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna try to shoot them again, and hopefully Roar War can just stay down and not get it.
SPEAKER_06Roar War hasn't gone yet. Roar War's got a bowcaster.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay. I'll see if what he wants to do.
SPEAKER_06I'll let him have his turn. He kind of holds out uh his arm in a way that says, like, stabilize me. Yeah, I'll stabilize him.
SPEAKER_01Is he gonna do the Mad Max shoulder shot? I know I just made fun of people for only making references, but we we've been bad tonight.
SPEAKER_05After that, I feel like that's our penance. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I'll let him do the shoulder shot. Two successes and an advantage. So we can last his remaining stiff. Not enough to kill all of them, but definitely enough to send them scattering as you guys reach the door back to the hangar.
SPEAKER_05Thank goodness. Could I slap a stim pack on him while we're going?
SPEAKER_06Do you have one?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I have five.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, then you can uh inject them as you're stabilizing them. There we go, dude. You're good. He slaps you on the back as if to say, thanks, bud.
SPEAKER_05Aww. I want to be friends with this bookie. Kinda hurts. Thank you.
SPEAKER_06But in a good way.
SPEAKER_05Hurt so good.
SPEAKER_06You can get back on the ship and get things powered up while all that's going on. The rest of you guys in the hangar, in the cargo container.
SPEAKER_03Are we still uh He's still got some sorcerers?
SPEAKER_06That Sith Lord is seemingly at the mercy of the Jedi. The Jedi is like pulling off his Caliche mask to humiliate him.
SPEAKER_03Ugh. He's going nah na na na na na.
SPEAKER_05Not the most Jedi-like behavior.
SPEAKER_03If it's anybody's turn, I'm gonna go after one of these sorcerers again this time. Go for it.
SPEAKER_06Cause now as the ship is tilting, these mounds of ore are kind of spreading all around. They're like little rocks and pebbles of crystals rolling across the floor. Uh, if you do want if anybody does want to use any powers, you can add three darks onto your roll.
SPEAKER_03Word's foresight. Uh, can I do anything with Ward's Foresight?
SPEAKER_05You want to just like uh do something to to buff a lyria or Starzan?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I'm already pretty buffed.
SPEAKER_05Starzan is pretty buff. Buff Illyria.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so if you just want to roll a basic power, um, you could. Uh I got two light side and a dark side.
SPEAKER_03Can I um plus three dark sides from the plus three dark side? So yeah, I'll I'll use four dark uh four dark side to uh buff up Illyria a little bit if I can.
SPEAKER_06So you can spend one to use the power, you can spend two more to uh use your strength upgrades. You can use your last one to increase the range, because uh normally it's only within short range, but these sorcerers are all at medium. So since Illyria and the sorcerers are at medium range, you can use all four to add two blues to Illyria's next check. You can sort of share your power, your foresight power, your little spidey sense with her. Wait. So you can sort of see how they are going to try and parry or block your strike before you make it. So if you want to try and attack another one of these sorcerers, uh, you can add two blues onto a two purple and a black roll.
SPEAKER_01Two blues? Yeah. Sword! Elliot. Three advantage.
SPEAKER_06We're back.
SPEAKER_02Baby.
SPEAKER_06So with those three advantage, you can't hit that sorcerer. Is there anything else you would want to do? The ship is gonna crash. Uh Kala and the Wookiee are running back to the ship to get it so they can pick you up. Do you want to use those three advantages to detach the modular cargo container?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_06Hey. So you can, seeing how they're gonna try and parry you, seeing getting a flash of, oh, maybe I might get hit again, instead, as you strike, turn your lightsaber off and just run past them. Your blade never crosses theirs, run to a wall, hit the button, pull the lever to detach the modular card in the container. And you feel your stomach drop in the same way you do when you're at the crest of a roller coaster and you go over the edge as everything begins floating. Detached from the ancient Sith ship, and because of the force at with at which you're ejected, you are now in zero gravity, and so is everyone else. The sorcerers uh are not prepared for this. This is sudden. So everybody roll a coordination. Coordination This will be uh three purple coordination. Illyria, since you knew what you were doing, you can probably just grab onto something.
SPEAKER_01Yippee!
SPEAKER_06Uh, but Starzan and Chris would need to roll coordination. Two success, but a threat. One threat, two light side. Yeah, you can use those lights to you could add a success to cancel a cut through. The sorcerers. Uh, advantage. So they they do kind of lose their bearings. They are sort of tumbling into this, in the middle of this uh field of now floating Lagnan crystals. Unfortunately, that does make them less visible. So they are gonna be a bit harder to hit from range, a bit harder to find. But uh, Chris and Starzan, you can hold on to something. Unless you want to float, unless you would prefer to float, because you succeed at your coordination. You can choose. Do you want to be floating or do you want to hang on to something?
SPEAKER_02I can float.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so I want to hang on to something. I panic when I'm out of control. Yeah, Chris, you can anchor yourself onto something as things go zero gravity. Kala, uh, why don't you roll me a piloting? Roll me a three-purple piloting.
SPEAKER_05Three-purple?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Two success. Two success.
SPEAKER_06So you can, number one, pull away from the harbinger as it descends towards the planet. Shaking, rattling, debris, shit just being thrown off it as it hurdles towards the surface of the moon. Next is gonna be the harder part. You are going to need to match war piloting with Roar Wars. So this is gonna be his piloting. He's got uh three ranks and three agility. Oh shit. So uh this is gonna be a three red piloting to be in sync with him as both of you grab the cargo container. Jesus Christ. Three red? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What do we got for Dusty?
SPEAKER_06You have two.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna flip one. I need I'm gonna get another yellow. I got more I got I got higher agility than him, but I only got one rank, and I've used up all my mid-game level up experience. Ooh, and I can't put the force on that either, so there's no point in me even dropping my field.
SPEAKER_03You got this, you got this. Are we gonna knock on one for you? Fuck, total wash. Nothing. Motherfuck.
SPEAKER_05Nothing. Fuck.
SPEAKER_03I tried.
SPEAKER_06I tried.
SPEAKER_05I at least don't make it worse, maybe.
SPEAKER_06Roar war clamps onto the cargo container. Because there's only one ship that is guiding it, it swings rapidly to one side. Everybody's gonna. It's gonna be either a coordination or a resilience. Uh. Gonna give you a destiny point. Resilience. It's gonna be a. All of you manage to be where you wanna be, so you're not gonna have any blacks added on, but I'm gonna give you destiny point. There's gonna be a red and two purple. Resilience or coordination.
SPEAKER_01Coordination or resilience. One failure, one advantage.
SPEAKER_02A success. Two threats. Three thread. One dark side, two light side.
SPEAKER_06Okay, you wanna use that dark to get a success? Yeah. This was a fall damage roll. As everybody is thrown and hurled. Chris, you take five. Illyria, you take five. Darzan, you take two.
SPEAKER_02So big. It's because I was floating. I was ready for it.
SPEAKER_06He is bobbing around. Not a care in the world. Take some strain as well. You're not that injured. Uh, let's see how these priests do.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah, I hope they get splattered.
SPEAKER_06Oh fuck, three threats.
SPEAKER_04Hell yeah, they get splattered.
SPEAKER_06So these sorcerers, as they flail around, they are in the middle of all this ore. As the cargo hold swings around, they get slammed into the wall, all the ore just falls on top of them, burying them in the crystals they so coveted.
SPEAKER_03Hell yeah. How ironic. I was about to say.
SPEAKER_06The Jedi was able to keep the uh the other freighter crew aloft. Uh the Sith Lord, already beaten, didn't make it. But eventually, Kala, uh, you can maybe perhaps sheepishly meet up and uh link up with this cargo container.
SPEAKER_05Look, I'm just saying that maybe he should have rolled against me and he would have passed it so much easier.
SPEAKER_01He was bleeding out.
SPEAKER_05Look, I stimmed him. He's fine. He's fine.
SPEAKER_01At least he's not 10 years old like the other guys.
SPEAKER_05What are you trying to imply? You know what, Elyria? Maybe next time you're injured, I just won't stim you because it's like, I don't want to think I want to kiss you. I didn't mean that, Elyria. You didn't hear me say that. I'm not using character voice.
SPEAKER_03That's fine.
SPEAKER_05Turns out Cal is also just putting on an accent.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, this Wookiee's like 30.
SPEAKER_05Like in that that's very young for a woman.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like a yeah, like a that's like a child.
SPEAKER_05I just gave him a stim pack. What's wrong with you, weirdos?
SPEAKER_03I mean, you could be uh uh never mind, I'm not gonna get into that.
SPEAKER_05I uh I just gave him a stim pack. Oh my god. I'm sorry. Sorry. Oh my god, Chris got me!
SPEAKER_03Sorry, sorry, Chris.
SPEAKER_05Although, like, is he a handsome Wookiee?
SPEAKER_01Like, you know, just can I fuck this guy?
SPEAKER_05No, he's like a Wookiee child. He's not, I mean, he's not a child. I cause Wookiees, they don't they don't mature more slowly than other species. It's just that they just live longer.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05He's an age appropriate Wookiee. Exactly. Yeah. Look, I just gave him a stim pack.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, he's like uh Wookiees, they're adults from 18.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I just gave him a STEM pack, but like, you know. I just gave him a stem pack. It's not then.
SPEAKER_03Hey, did you just give him a stim pack?
SPEAKER_05Stop making it weird. Stop making it weird.
SPEAKER_06You freaks. He's he's barely legal. Spelled B-E-A-R.
SPEAKER_01I need to heal myself.
SPEAKER_05Would you like a STEM pack too? Yeah. I'll hand it to you just like I wouldn't want you to think I'm gonna kiss you out of something.
SPEAKER_06I mean, they're in a cargo container.
SPEAKER_01You're like, you can't. Oh yeah, we're still in here? Okay.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah. Uh I'll I'll give you a stim when you're out. Yeah, you can argue over the comms. The other freighter crew is like a little confusive. It's like uh uh the woman from Naboo she says, you know we can hear you, right?
SPEAKER_03I I I I turn I turn off the comms. And then I turn them back on like sorry. We're so sorry. We're so stupid.
SPEAKER_05Sorry, like sorry that we're like this.
SPEAKER_03We're so stupid. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05We will not be getting better.
SPEAKER_06Well, if it's any consolation, you don't seem very uh uh imperial. Oh, don't go spreading it around, I guess. Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_05Just you know, don't don't mention it to anyone. It's it's a complicated situation.
SPEAKER_06Okay. I mean, who would we mention it to? We don't know you. Okay, well I guess we're good. Well, except for uh uh Chris's family.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, uh if you uh know my family, you know that uh you know we're we're sta we're gonna be sticking out of this sort of situation so that we don't have to uh i involve them, so that's uh hopefully.
SPEAKER_06I'm sure the next high society get together, uh my folks aren't gonna be bragging me up either.
SPEAKER_05Wait, so like do you families know each other? Because Chris, I like yo, rich boy, I know.
SPEAKER_06You run in similar circles. I mean, I could put in a uh a good word for you, you know, the emperor is my eighth cousin twelve times removed.
SPEAKER_03Twelve times? That's in that seems excessive. You know, you know what? You don't need to put in a a good word for me. You don't even need to put in a bad word for me. You could just I'm not sure. Maybe just pretend Maybe just pretend like we never met. I'm uh honestly, if I never have to uh deal uh if I don't have to deal with my fam uh with my family right now, I feel like that would be a uh proper uh proper place to be. I feel as though uh I don't want them to think about what I'm uh everything that I'm doing out here.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, which start to be the black son of the family. I mean the black sheep of the family.
SPEAKER_05And like, you know, like maybe just don't go uh go uh go talking around cantinas about like, oh, we met some imperial knights that didn't seem very imperial, very interesting, very interesting, because like speaking of uh knights, what do we do with uh that guy? With the the Jedi?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Hey, uh, how you doing, buddy?
SPEAKER_06I am mourning the loss of my Padawan and what it once was, and I get the feeling I should be mourning the loss of the Republic as well. All this talk of empire is true.
SPEAKER_05Oh I'm just thinking because it's like there were so many Jedi that we just like let off the hook back in the SBI days.
SPEAKER_03Should we start getting them together?
SPEAKER_05I mean, maybe, like looking for anyone who might still be left, but like, because it's like we could take him back to uh what what was the planet where we we where mall is all set up now? Like him minor?
SPEAKER_06Is it safe to take him to Mall?
SPEAKER_05Well, because like the did the Jedi was the Jedi staying with him there, or did he move on to like a planet?
SPEAKER_06The Jedi took his kid with the uh the freighter crew.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Because also it's like there was that planet way back when where we let the Jedi go free, like after he accidentally killed his Padawan.
SPEAKER_06There's been like there's been a few. So because presumably this this freighter crew, there's a uh a force-sensitive woman um among that crew. They're presumably friendly to the Jedi. If you want to make this crater crew part of your extended network, maybe they could uh take the this Jedi somewhere if you think it's safe. I mean, they're safe safer with them than with us. So you could you could send him to Krant to maybe pick up Iju, who is just kind of like off in the woods alone.
SPEAKER_05There was uh Master Kuro with her kids.
SPEAKER_06That was in the Ashworld. Uh Caphrin. There's also um Aldron, Bale Organa was harboring a Jedi until you killed him.
SPEAKER_05But also, uh, Organa might not be uh super happy to see us right now.
SPEAKER_06Well, if you just send this freighter crew.
SPEAKER_05That is true.
SPEAKER_06But he does likely have eyes on him.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and he is like still a senator. So it's like, yeah. He's still very connected. Because like, my my thought is maybe Master Ichu, if it's like, hey, this guy's also dealing with like having accident like dealing with like dead Padawans and like all the emotional shit to go with that. Like, maybe Master Ichu could help him out.
SPEAKER_06So you wanna tell this freighter crew to go to Krant?
SPEAKER_05Sure, okay. Give them give them a description of uh of Ichu. Tell them that we uh we we we passed along his name, I guess. Because like we don't have to take this Jedi's lightsaber, I don't think, because there's no reason there's no reason for that.
SPEAKER_03We're here for the ore.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they they I I I don't think they would have had any inkling that there was a Jedi stowing away on this ship when it disappeared. Yeah. As long as we're coming back with the ore, then it's probably fine.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Okay, cool. Let's pass that along to them then. And uh they'll take care of you, Master.
SPEAKER_06Well, I hope so. I uh think I have a lot to get used to.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, they should probably get you caught up on the state of the galaxy at the moment. Um which uh yeah, kind of uh partially uh bad, but you know, like, you know, things happen. Things happen.
SPEAKER_06I do have one question though.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_06Is Stargoyles still on?
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, baby. 80,000 later. You know, some things never change.
SPEAKER_02Some things never change.
SPEAKER_05Look, Star Fascism is one thing. A universe without Stargoyles, now that's something I'm just not willing to live through. When Stargoyles gets cancelled, I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
SPEAKER_06So you can pass along the information where they can take this Jedi. Uh, and you part ways with this uh young adventuring group. Do you give them some of the ore that they can sell?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Because if we if we stick to our word, and it's like we all just pool our money, give them like a hundred K and take an equivalent amount of ore, so we're getting a bit more ore out of it.
SPEAKER_06Do you know why we can make a lot of money? You have the entire silo. That's true. So it's like you could just like let them load up like some crates and it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_03That's true, because they were just like they were just talking a couple crates anyways. That way we don't need to spend money.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's true. Do you know why we're gonna be rich? Where's that? It's a sell or's market.
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean, you're not making any money unless you want to. Unless you want to.
SPEAKER_03Let's let's put a pin on the case.
SPEAKER_06Because right now the ore is going to a good cause, it's going to the energy project.
SPEAKER_05That's true. And as far as we know, that is a 100% good, okay cause, even with this not so good government.
SPEAKER_03What do you mean as far as we know? It's obviously the best thing. Obviously.
SPEAKER_05Nothing wrong could go nothing could go wrong with an energy project. It's an energy project.
SPEAKER_03Everything it involving clean energy is always something to go towards. That's what movies have taught me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. It's clean coal, you see.
SPEAKER_03Why are movies so like why are there a bunch of movies where it's like, hey, I'm a guy who's here for uh to make sure that uh we have clean energy. It's actually a really evil plan.
SPEAKER_05Well, because that's also Elon Musk's thing. So that's also tracks out of reality.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's fair.
SPEAKER_05But anyway, so uh, we got our ore, we got some new people, and we got away without any deaths. Of our friends, at least. Not this they all died, but like, you know, people that we like.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, there's definitely some sorcerer corpses buried under all these crystals that will have to be dealt with, but you can uh say goodbye to your new friends, perhaps more.
SPEAKER_05It was just a stamp pack.
SPEAKER_06One of them might be Starzan's sister.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's true. It started out with a Sith.
SPEAKER_06It was only a Sith. It was only a Sith. But you can uh take this uh cargo container, latch it to the terrible turn, as uh your friends hopefully maybe maybe this will be a good nest egg to start some kind of, I don't know, rebellion or something? Probably not. But you can uh return to Coruscant with your with your ill-gotten gains or your well-gotten gains, deliver them to the Energy Project headquarters, care of some scientist named Galen Urso, and hopefully take part in another perfectly moral, uh economic, and environmentally friendly venture next time on Star Wars Empire Wreckers. This week's episode is brought to you by our top patrons, Alphabros 522, David B, Eric Charles Perazzo, Jeffrey Zamuto, Joshua Winter, Laser, LKB, Matthew Lynette, Suki Nintendo, Thomas Davidson, and Vaginator.