The Solution

The Solution Episode 53

March 21, 2024 Craig Dahlen, Greg Carter, Josh Goding Season 3 Episode 53
The Solution
The Solution Episode 53
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Erectile Dysfunction: Part 2
Craig, Greg and Josh discuss the non-medical causes of E.D. and expound on practical solutions to mitigate the psychosomatic roots of the problem. The topics of diet & exercise, performance anxiety, pornography and and excess masturbation are explored. The importance of intimacy and communication with a partner are revealed to be crucial elements of the solution.

Speaker 1:

falling Champion. Bachelors Craig and Greg present a myriad of topics centering on relationships and addictions in the positive lights of experience, strength and hope. Both have struggled with the strongholds of addiction and with relationships that went awry, and both have emerged on the other side stronger, wiser and better prepared to become what they once set out to be. You're listening to the solution.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the solution. I'm your host, craig Dahlin. Hey, we're in part two of ED tonight and we're sitting around here pretty jacked up about the whole deal. Welcome, greg Carter.

Speaker 3:

Hey, what's happening? Doing great tonight.

Speaker 2:

Good, we have Josh Josh going to your house as well, Gentlemen.

Speaker 1:

Gentlemen, Can you say jacked up Well jacked up.

Speaker 2:

I mean we're talking about ED and we're all pretty excited about that whole deal. This is part two. You know there's some main words that you're going to be wanting to hear and listen to tonight, and a couple of those are diet, exercise, cortisol, masturbation, porn, and we got them all coming at you tonight. We're going to get in depth, a little bit more in depth, on how to rectile this function. Because we want to do this show, because that needs to be done. I think sometimes things get left in the wings and then I think there's a lot of simple solutions to erectile this function that I think a lot of people get paralyzed by it a little bit. You know, you think you have it or you don't know if you have it, and we're going to talk about that too. A little test to know if you have it.

Speaker 1:

So people make too much of it. I mean I mean they missed diagnosed.

Speaker 2:

I think it's the thing where you got to get down to the basics. Pretty much what is out there in the markets are pills.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would say the medical causes are less frequent than I previously assumed, and so I think that there's maybe what you call psychosomatic and there are physiological causes, but they might be able to be addressed without medicine, I think.

Speaker 2:

I agree 100%.

Speaker 3:

Performing anxiety Big time. Yeah performance anxiety. Yes, I just want to totally please this lady. You're in love with you. Just think the world ever going to be the first time, for example. Yep, it's like, oh God, please, lord, let everything go through the silk, you know yeah, are you finding glasses?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it can, but there's, there could be some things that get in the way of that. In that case you have performance anxiety would be just like, oh my God, you know you just kind of being at the free throw line with, you know, two shots to win the game, Exactly.

Speaker 3:

Well, a lot of that too.

Speaker 2:

It's hard to win that game sometimes.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, a lot of that too. That performance anxiety can happen if there's been a long period of abstinence to you know, like what you just said. Take, for example, the basketball player. They're shooting free throws on a regular basis in practice for the game. It comes to do something like this Right, yeah, and they have, abstinence is abstinence. The warm up there yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I think one of the biggest things too, is you are practicing too much during the week without your partner.

Speaker 1:

Yes, flying solo. You know you're flying solo in front of the screen Star Wars character hand solo.

Speaker 2:

Yep, you're looking at your computer a little bit too much at those images, and you know that's a deal, because it's a thing called.

Speaker 3:

Decreases the sensitivity.

Speaker 2:

Decreases the sensitivity. You know, if you're grabbing that thing, you're grabbing your penis in front of the screen, masturbating, or whatever you're doing, you're working it. That thing is not, it will not be as sensitive as it could be. Yeah, because when you go into the foreplay or whatever, just being together like that, there's not the arousal that could be because you're grabbing it and tugging it during the week or whatever. You mess around with it too much. I mean it's meant to be taken out for special occasions. It's the fine china man, you know what I mean. I agree, and that's for special occasions only.

Speaker 1:

You don't want to get that too out of practice. But there's too much of a good thing too. Your partner can tell. I think if you can't finish, let's say yes, what can she tell? I've only been accused of. You've been looking at pornography, haven't you? No, dear no. Because, it'll just be going and going and you can't finish and you know she's starting to.

Speaker 2:

Chaf, right, right, you're going forever and there's no ending in sight.

Speaker 1:

Then arm comes around. It's patting you on the back. You know like finish up.

Speaker 2:

Or if she holds up a white flag. What?

Speaker 2:

if she holds up your underwear in the air and starts to wave it. She's saying I'm waving the white flag, stop. There's a lot of things, and we talked about cortisol last week too, yes, or the last show, I guess and it's main stapling this whole thing is that when you get stressed out there seems to be a lot of stress this day and age your body dumps down cortisol where cortisol does take and hack away at your testosterone levels. Yeah, it's not always. What can we do? It's, what can we stop doing to bring this back to where it should be? I know that the pills that the doctors give out, those are, you know, those are doing their job, but they're not. Maybe they get people so brought into a big pharma. A pill would take care of this, a pill would take care of that. Well, you know, I think, that there's some things like exercise, right, Just a nice a half hour walk, that you know, a nice workout every day, what that does for you.

Speaker 3:

Regular sleep.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's huge yeah, regular sleep.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, fat, void the fatty foods. We're all going to eat little fatty foods. Lose the belly fat, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yep, belly fat and what they say too, about blood flows.

Speaker 2:

They talk about blood flow. Okay. Well, let's say the winter time, when you, when you get cold, you get really cold sometimes you do. Well, maybe the blood isn't as good to your feet, it's not as good to your fingertips Well, the penis, that's right in the middle of us. It should have adequate blood flow there. But you know what, there are things you can do for it. Work that core right. Yes, what exercises?

Speaker 3:

would you do there For that? It would be pelvic floor exercises. Bend your knees, put your feet flat on the floor, lie back and then just lift your buttocks in the air. You know slow repetitions. Yep, go up slowly, come back down. Don't even go back down to the floor all the way. Go back up again. Yeah, and if you have lower back problems, allow yourself to to briefly rest when you touch the floor. But then Go back up planks. Planks to be good for that Yep to planks.

Speaker 2:

Yes, squats, squats.

Speaker 3:

Yes, body weight squats, so we're talking body weight.

Speaker 2:

Yes, your body weight. You don't need to go to a gym. You know an extras. I mean a good walk, I mean a half hour brisk walk or 45 minute brisk walk. Oh my gosh, you know yes, that's right.

Speaker 1:

That's for the body, for daily.

Speaker 2:

Those things make you feel super good too. There's nothing better than a, than a great walk for that, and I Think a lot of it too. There's a lot of things that go into this. I think communication does too. With your wife, your gal, you're being, you know, engaged to, and we don't want to courage the youngsters out there to have sex, or the people that aren't married. I mean, you got to do what you got to do it.

Speaker 2:

promise you about anything, yeah but we just say Whoever you're with the young, I think communication is huge it is and to be able to laugh, you know, at some things. And I mean, guys, if you can't get it up for a night or something happens like that, laugh about it. You know there are worse things. You know at least you're together, hey, watch a movie.

Speaker 1:

I mean don't make it so serious. I think you hit a good point there too, if I can interject, because I think that you know, as far as sex is concerned, I think it's it's partly mental and emotional. So if you, if your friends with the person, it's so much better, and if you in love with the person, I mean watch out, that's where it really becomes the total experience. Though Having sex with someone you don't really know or respect God forbid, that's where he could come in, I think. Oh, I agree, 100% makes.

Speaker 2:

It wouldn't make sense if it didn't agree, 100%, there's chances are there's heavy alcohol and take involved to yeah right, you need somebody and the alcohol involved or dope if I'm, if I'm with a woman and she's intermasculine and we're might be doing that, having sex or something happens, a huge turn off, yes, I mean like if she's a bossy type or whatever I mean. And If you're in love with somebody, it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's where it's meant to be. You know it's meant to be, for that it's like. It's like you don't want to haul the like I said, you don't want to even you're fine, china. All the time you got to keep it on reserve right, absolutely, and and that's sex.

Speaker 2:

Sex, if it's to be done the way it's meant to be done, it is a fine China moment I don't want, you know that's, that's just my metaphor for, but it really is and it's. If you can learn to treat it that way, that's, that's the ultimate. But you know, sitting down in the basement though during the week and practicing Like I say by yourself, that's not gonna do it, that's gonna take away from the experience big time.

Speaker 2:

You know that's not respecting yourself or what it is or it's not. Well, you know, when you ever sit in front of the screen and you got a girlfriend, I'm gonna screen. I refer to this computer. But when you're sitting in front of the screen looking at the porn, you're taking away Every minute, every hour. You're doing it, you're taking away that much from your relationship and you're throwing it in the garbage. So it's more than just a supplement to that.

Speaker 1:

Yes, the tracks.

Speaker 2:

Because of the, the porn. These images are coming at you and they're slowly eroding your brain. It's slowly taken away your your sexual attraction for where it should be, and that's with your Other one, don't you agree?

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there may be some expectation that your partner's gonna act like a porn star and that's very unfair if they don't know. That's what you're thinking of. And also I know it's just, it's a dark world. I think the situations and the things and even the positions that are going on is just I Don't know. It's just so, it's for entertainment, it's not, it's not reality. And so sometimes we have exactly someone you realize they're. They're doing some move from a porno and it's like it doesn't feel good Really. They're doing something like a showy thing that likes, looks good, like it's rehearsed.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like they're doing for a camera.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, like it's rehearsed. You start looking around for cameras then, but I've been accused of that before a few different times, I see. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna show man.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

What's? What were you doing?

Speaker 3:

Well, though, just like a go from this position to that position, to this position. Then the lady called me on it. She goes. I really enjoyed myself, but it was just like you know. She goes, it was great, but he goes. It was just like it was rehearsed, like there was a camera on and you were so smooth, like it was like, all right, now, switch, now go to this position. I'll go with that position, go you know, and you're taking around the world?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, she should have been more appreciative.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, she should have lost. He was with a maestro, yeah she was, you were a lead conductor one time I was in my early 20s. Then too yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, here's a real side. There's a little side note to that.

Speaker 3:

It's a side note to that.

Speaker 2:

There was a video I was watching last week and they said on it what a woman likes the most when I'm doing that is Is, um, just repetition in that same position. If she starts to like something, don't switch from that, just keep doing that.

Speaker 1:

I found that interesting good point.

Speaker 2:

But, it was. So it takes away the showman, you just you find where she's happy to stay right in that groove, oh yeah yes, you know I get traction, though.

Speaker 1:

You just want to get a leverage.

Speaker 3:

I have read this before an article to where, if you feel like you're gonna Ejaculate sooner than later, then that would might be the time to switch a position.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah take the time. I want to throw her on top then.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because then you can last longer, right Is that?

Speaker 3:

what you're saying, or to the side. Right yeah, yeah, don't want to get too descriptive. Yeah, no, we don't. Yeah yeah, but yeah, but yeah. Oh, then role playing that's okay.

Speaker 2:

I'm a 20th level wizard. Okay, we're gonna go that route. We're gonna go a little bit in that route. But what I want to say before that, yeah, is as far as ED and all that goes right, some of some people like they'll jump right into it or whatever that I can imagine them and they're not Getting it hard right away.

Speaker 1:

Well.

Speaker 2:

I'm saying slow down, yeah, slow way down.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, slow way. That's why it's called foreplay, not insta play. Does that way you?

Speaker 2:

not. You knock a lot of that Anxiety out of you if you just take your time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I never go that a fashion and then be into the moment, don't be into.

Speaker 2:

It's like it's like a game of football. It's like, okay, are you there to win or you just there to there to not to lose? Right, yeah, you know, if you're gonna be there to win, take it slow, go through the steps, the progressions, and you know, go slow, because if you're there to win, that's what you do, but if you're there not to lose, you're just gonna Try to do it and you finish it up and win the win, win the win, the blue ribbon, and that ain't gonna happen.

Speaker 1:

So, because I think form over content or something.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think with porn, I think that is such a killer of it. I think that's, I think that's got a big deal.

Speaker 1:

You stayed with us this far, and that shows commitment, proving you possess the trait required to obtain the solution. Now let's rejoin the show already in progress.

Speaker 2:

People think a lot of people might think they have ED and they don't. I agree, they just don't have it and there is a way to test and see if you do, and Anybody want to say what the test is. I.

Speaker 1:

Think you're saying it was too well to go to a private place and then try to. What does it involve? Was it involved masturbating?

Speaker 2:

I can't remember. Yeah, you know. Yeah, you go, you get in your car and you go to a park parking lot. You put that sunscreen the Sun blind up though. Yeah, you want to put that around your car.

Speaker 1:

Turn the volume up really loud, yeah, that way you distract everybody.

Speaker 2:

Oh right, yes, and when the Walmart parking lot or when the tenant comes out to check on you, just say you're all good.

Speaker 1:

Oh.

Speaker 2:

If you want to decide whether you have it or not, you basically masturbate. If it gets hard, on your own, by yourself. You don't have ED, you know that's. That's where it's at. You're not trying to your partner anymore. Well, no, well, yeah, it's aesthetic fatigue, it's, it could be a number of things. I, I personally think, well, I personally think a guy practices it too much during the week. I Really do.

Speaker 1:

I know cuz I knew a guy who did that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we've all known guys that have done that. And if you do that, what you're doing is you're, you're, you're desensitizing it. It needs to and it, like I said earlier, needs to be saved for special occasions, you know yeah it's bored, it's.

Speaker 2:

It's when God made the God made man. He made sex to be Reserved. It's not an everyday deal. It's not. He didn't make it to be. Do we put it into porn? He didn't make all these things and those things. When you view a lot of that stuff, it takes a big hit. Can we settle on three times a week?

Speaker 1:

Well, no, that's.

Speaker 3:

That's.

Speaker 1:

Three times a day? Yeah, well, if things do get worse, you know.

Speaker 2:

Things do things different. Things do attribute it to you. If you, if you want to do it totally, totally right, I would say exercise, eat right, drink a lot of water and you know, exercise your core, or just exercise, go out, give up alcohol for walks. Yeah, I think walks, I think walks are just some of the best medicine ever. What do you guys think some thing about walks?

Speaker 3:

walks are great, so sleep.

Speaker 1:

Sleeps incredible sleep. No booze, you know Illegal drugs and some prescription drugs give you can give you a problem. Prescription drugs, right yeah that a little bit or antidepressants, strangely enough, can make it hard to maintain erection and make it hard to finish. Because, because also being depressed can have that effect. But yeah, being drunk, um, it's not good for what's the quote? It's good for the the desire, but not for the performance, or yeah, something like that.

Speaker 2:

There's something too like. If you're in a relationship, it's like the, the sexual polarity. If that's off, that's gonna make the sex life off. If you're married to somebody and she's being pretty masculine yes, whether you know, or I mean that if your wife, girlfriend, is, is taking over that masculine role, words that leave you with demasculated yeah, you can. So that plays a big part in me a boy. Well, that's sexual polarities. Right, when you're in her she's under feminine You're, you're in your masculine round home. Anyway, that's gonna help it off a lot.

Speaker 1:

It is. So it's hard to woo someone who's in their mask, a woman in their masculine, like someone who's complaining all the time or who's like being too bossy or too negative, exactly, and then Someone who's not interested, and if they're that way with you, then that's you're dumping down cortisol because it adds stress, a lot of stress.

Speaker 2:

So I think, uh, I think the best thing to do just keeps popping in my mind. Let's all list what we think is going to be best. To me it's just long walks, long brisk walks are the best thing. What do you think, greg?

Speaker 3:

that and also to uh, just, my working out involves weight training and then on the days of not weight training, I do the battle rope. So I'm and I know any type of resistance training does increase testosterone levels, naturally the way God intended it to.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, yeah, that's a nice exercise, nice exercises you know um Josh, what do you?

Speaker 1:

think, I think what you said, um, you know, like communication, good communication and intimacy, you know, those are the things that makes sex really great anyway. So, yeah, um, I think, if there's something, something between something, has a couple that's but going on said that, can that, can, um, that can be covering up something that you know an important thing that needs to be discussed. Let's say so. What's that now?

Speaker 2:

Well like.

Speaker 1:

Like if um, ed is, if there's constantly a dysfunction and and she's, you know, she's eager and willing, then this something means something is bothering you. I think, yeah, something wrong with something. Yeah, I can't even be specific because I'm not in a relationship right now, but but you're?

Speaker 2:

you're saying, if the ED stays in the dark, yeah, if the couples aren't discussing it in a nice caring, um, thank you kind of way, yeah, they're probably not gonna get rid of it, right?

Speaker 1:

She's gonna think it's her fault that you don't like her, or you know I don't love her anymore, whatever it is, and and you're gonna think that she's thinking you're not a man and it's gonna be, it's gonna be a feedback loop, that's just you got to talk about it hundred percent right there is huge, and she's and chances are she's gonna be eager to help you. She'll jump right in there and do something special because she wants you to Feel good.

Speaker 2:

I think so yep, it was right person. She's the woman for you.

Speaker 1:

dog gone right yeah that's it's, it's, it's cooperative, it's not, it's not competitive.

Speaker 2:

Well, she'll wear her bikini now too, when she's doing dishes and stuff. I would think, if she can get it off me.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to reiterate that because communication is really important and, like saying, greg, some guys are maybe afraid to talk to a woman about sex, and they shouldn't be, because, at least in my experience, you know, my girlfriends have been really quite open to talking about it because it's Something they're interested in. They're interested in you and your, your collective happiness, and so, yeah, communication.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I agree. What do you say, greg? I do too. And also to that communication gets stronger when you do activities With your lover. What I mean by activities? When's the only time a lot of people see each other at home? Go out and do things, go out and go to the beach? Um, take those little quick two or three day weekend John's. Hang out together, experience things together Outside the house, and I believe that's where communication Increases tenfold. Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely and the right kind of communication exactly.

Speaker 1:

Yes, don't get that, they'd be mechanical.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the right kind of communication where it's light and funny, where you can laugh and Giggle and you could be a man and she can be. She can be a woman, she could be your lady. That's right, I mean. What more can you ask? I know right. I mean I'm gonna end up the show saying thanks a lot, you for you guys. It's incredible input tonight. I mean I'll thank myself too, thank you Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. You did great Good. Thank you, yes, you know.

Speaker 2:

But something to end it on, I would say, like I say save please, guys. Save Sex for special occasions and who you're with. You know of course you're gonna be with your wife, your fiancee, we you know. But don't practice during the week without her too much. You don't need it, save it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, your erectiles will be functional.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they're gonna be there. You don't have to grab them every day and look and see if they're there and exercise, exercise and eat right, and I think you're gonna go a long way by doing that. And if you and include her in your conversation, that wraps up the show. Well, let's thanks a lot. Thank you, listener. Really appreciate you. We most definitely do, and that's it for the solution. We'll see you next time.

Speaker 1:

This concludes this episode of the solution. Thanks for joining us and be sure to check out our next episode. Send your questions and comments to Craig 2042 at gmailcom. Be sure to subscribe to the solution so you can be notified the moment the next exciting episode is ready for you to listen to, and Please leave a review on Apple podcasts or on your favorite podcast player.

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