The Solution Episode 53

Erectile Dysfunction: Part 2
Craig, Greg and Josh discuss the non-medical causes of E.D. and expound on practical solutions to mitigate the psychosomatic roots of the problem. The topics of diet & exercise, performance anxiety, pornography and and excess masturbation are explored. The importance of intimacy and communication with a partner are revealed to be crucial elements of the solution.

Transcript

Overcoming ED

Speaker 1 0:04

falling Champion . Bachelors Craig and Greg present a myriad of topics centering on relationships and addictions in the positive lights of experience , strength and hope . Both have struggled with the strongholds of addiction and with relationships that went awry , and both have emerged on the other side stronger , wiser and better prepared to become what they once set out to be . You're listening to the solution .

Speaker 2 1:05

Welcome to the solution . I'm your host , craig Dahlin . Hey , we're in part two of ED tonight and we're sitting around here pretty jacked up about the whole deal . Welcome , greg Carter .

Speaker 3 1:16

Hey , what's happening ? Doing great tonight .

Speaker 2 1:18

Good , we have Josh Josh going to your house as well , Gentlemen .

Speaker 1 1:21

Gentlemen , Can you say jacked up Well jacked up .

Speaker 2 1:25

I mean we're talking about ED and we're all pretty excited about that whole deal . This is part two . You know there's some main words that you're going to be wanting to hear and listen to tonight , and a couple of those are diet , exercise , cortisol , masturbation , porn , and we got them all coming at you tonight . We're going to get in depth , a little bit more in depth , on how to rectile this function . Because we want to do this show , because that needs to be done . I think sometimes things get left in the wings and then I think there's a lot of simple solutions to erectile this function that I think a lot of people get paralyzed by it a little bit . You know , you think you have it or you don't know if you have it , and we're going to talk about that too . A little test to know if you have it .

Speaker 1 2:15

So people make too much of it . I mean I mean they missed diagnosed .

Speaker 2 2:18

I think it's the thing where you got to get down to the basics . Pretty much what is out there in the markets are pills .

Speaker 1 2:26

Yeah , I would say the medical causes are less frequent than I previously assumed , and so I think that there's maybe what you call psychosomatic and there are physiological causes , but they might be able to be addressed without medicine , I think .

Speaker 2 2:41

I agree 100% .

Speaker 3 2:43

Performing anxiety Big time . Yeah performance anxiety . Yes , I just want to totally please this lady . You're in love with you . Just think the world ever going to be the first time , for example . Yep , it's like , oh God , please , lord , let everything go through the silk , you know yeah , are you finding glasses ?

Speaker 2 3:05

Yeah , and it can , but there's , there could be some things that get in the way of that . In that case you have performance anxiety would be just like , oh my God , you know you just kind of being at the free throw line with , you know , two shots to win the game , Exactly .

Speaker 3 3:21

Well , a lot of that too .

Speaker 2 3:22

It's hard to win that game sometimes .

Speaker 3 3:24

Yeah , a lot of that too . That performance anxiety can happen if there's been a long period of abstinence to you know , like what you just said . Take , for example , the basketball player . They're shooting free throws on a regular basis in practice for the game . It comes to do something like this Right , yeah , and they have , abstinence is abstinence . The warm up there yeah .

Speaker 2 3:44

And I think one of the biggest things too , is you are practicing too much during the week without your partner .

Speaker 1 3:54

Yes , flying solo . You know you're flying solo in front of the screen Star Wars character hand solo .

Speaker 2 4:00

Yep , you're looking at your computer a little bit too much at those images , and you know that's a deal , because it's a thing called .

Speaker 3 4:08

Decreases the sensitivity .

Speaker 2 4:10

Decreases the sensitivity . You know , if you're grabbing that thing , you're grabbing your penis in front of the screen , masturbating , or whatever you're doing , you're working it . That thing is not , it will not be as sensitive as it could be . Yeah , because when you go into the foreplay or whatever , just being together like that , there's not the arousal that could be because you're grabbing it and tugging it during the week or whatever . You mess around with it too much . I mean it's meant to be taken out for special occasions . It's the fine china man , you know what I mean . I agree , and that's for special occasions only .

Speaker 1 4:52

You don't want to get that too out of practice . But there's too much of a good thing too . Your partner can tell . I think if you can't finish , let's say yes , what can she tell ? I've only been accused of . You've been looking at pornography , haven't you ? No , dear no . Because , it'll just be going and going and you can't finish and you know she's starting to .

Speaker 2 5:10

Chaf , right , right , you're going forever and there's no ending in sight .

Speaker 1 5:15

Then arm comes around . It's patting you on the back . You know like finish up .

Speaker 2 5:18

Or if she holds up a white flag . What ?

Speaker 2 5:21

if she holds up your underwear in the air and starts to wave it . She's saying I'm waving the white flag , stop . There's a lot of things , and we talked about cortisol last week too , yes , or the last show , I guess and it's main stapling this whole thing is that when you get stressed out there seems to be a lot of stress this day and age your body dumps down cortisol where cortisol does take and hack away at your testosterone levels . Yeah , it's not always . What can we do ? It's , what can we stop doing to bring this back to where it should be ? I know that the pills that the doctors give out , those are , you know , those are doing their job , but they're not . Maybe they get people so brought into a big pharma . A pill would take care of this , a pill would take care of that . Well , you know , I think , that there's some things like exercise , right , Just a nice a half hour walk , that you know , a nice workout every day , what that does for you .

Speaker 3 6:34

Regular sleep .

Speaker 2 6:35

Yeah .

Speaker 1 6:36

That's huge yeah , regular sleep .

Speaker 3 6:38

Yeah , fat , void the fatty foods . We're all going to eat little fatty foods . Lose the belly fat , you know .

Speaker 1 6:44

Yep , belly fat and what they say too , about blood flows .

Speaker 2 6:46

They talk about blood flow . Okay . Well , let's say the winter time , when you , when you get cold , you get really cold sometimes you do . Well , maybe the blood isn't as good to your feet , it's not as good to your fingertips Well , the penis , that's right in the middle of us . It should have adequate blood flow there . But you know what , there are things you can do for it . Work that core right . Yes , what exercises ?

Speaker 3 7:12

would you do there For that ? It would be pelvic floor exercises . Bend your knees , put your feet flat on the floor , lie back and then just lift your buttocks in the air . You know slow repetitions . Yep , go up slowly , come back down . Don't even go back down to the floor all the way . Go back up again . Yeah , and if you have lower back problems , allow yourself to to briefly rest when you touch the floor . But then Go back up planks . Planks to be good for that Yep to planks .

Speaker 2 7:43

Yes , squats , squats .

Speaker 3 7:45

Yes , body weight squats , so we're talking body weight .

Speaker 2 7:48

Yes , your body weight . You don't need to go to a gym . You know an extras . I mean a good walk , I mean a half hour brisk walk or 45 minute brisk walk . Oh my gosh , you know yes , that's right .

Speaker 1 8:00

That's for the body , for daily .

Speaker 2 8:02

Those things make you feel super good too . There's nothing better than a , than a great walk for that , and I Think a lot of it too . There's a lot of things that go into this . I think communication does too . With your wife , your gal , you're being , you know , engaged to , and we don't want to courage the youngsters out there to have sex , or the people that aren't married . I mean , you got to do what you got to do it .

Speaker 2 8:27

promise you about anything , yeah but we just say Whoever you're with the young , I think communication is huge it is and to be able to laugh , you know , at some things . And I mean , guys , if you can't get it up for a night or something happens like that , laugh about it . You know there are worse things . You know at least you're together , hey , watch a movie .

Speaker 1 8:51

I mean don't make it so serious . I think you hit a good point there too , if I can interject , because I think that you know , as far as sex is concerned , I think it's it's partly mental and emotional . So if you , if your friends with the person , it's so much better , and if you in love with the person , I mean watch out , that's where it really becomes the total experience . Though Having sex with someone you don't really know or respect God forbid , that's where he could come in , I think . Oh , I agree , 100% makes .

Speaker 2 9:20

It wouldn't make sense if it didn't agree , 100% , there's chances are there's heavy alcohol and take involved to yeah right , you need somebody and the alcohol involved or dope if I'm , if I'm with a woman and she's intermasculine and we're might be doing that , having sex or something happens , a huge turn off , yes , I mean like if she's a bossy type or whatever

Navigating Relationships and Sexuality

Speaker 2 9:43

I mean . And If you're in love with somebody , it's , yeah , it's , it's , it's where it's meant to be . You know it's meant to be , for that it's like . It's like you don't want to haul the like I said , you don't want to even you're fine , china . All the time you got to keep it on reserve right , absolutely , and and that's sex .

Speaker 2 10:03

Sex , if it's to be done the way it's meant to be done , it is a fine China moment I don't want , you know that's , that's just my metaphor for , but it really is and it's . If you can learn to treat it that way , that's , that's the ultimate . But you know , sitting down in the basement though during the week and practicing Like I say by yourself , that's not gonna do it , that's gonna take away from the experience big time .

Speaker 2 10:36

You know that's not respecting yourself or what it is or it's not . Well , you know , when you ever sit in front of the screen and you got a girlfriend , I'm gonna screen . I refer to this computer . But when you're sitting in front of the screen looking at the porn , you're taking away Every minute , every hour . You're doing it , you're taking away that much from your relationship and you're throwing it in the garbage . So it's more than just a supplement to that .

Speaker 1 11:03

Yes , the tracks .

Speaker 2 11:05

Because of the , the porn . These images are coming at you and they're slowly eroding your brain . It's slowly taken away your your sexual attraction for where it should be , and that's with your Other one , don't you agree ?

Speaker 3 11:19

Yes .

Speaker 1 11:19

Yeah , there may be some expectation that your partner's gonna act like a porn star and that's very unfair if they don't know . That's what you're thinking of . And also I know it's just , it's a dark world . I think the situations and the things and even the positions that are going on is just I Don't know . It's just so , it's for entertainment , it's not , it's not reality . And so sometimes we have exactly someone you realize they're . They're doing some move from a porno and it's like it doesn't feel good Really . They're doing something like a showy thing that likes , looks good , like it's rehearsed .

Speaker 1 11:53

Yeah , like they're doing for a camera .

Speaker 3 11:55

Yeah , yeah , like it's rehearsed . You start looking around for cameras then , but I've been accused of that before a few different times , I see . Yeah .

Speaker 2 12:01

I'm gonna show man .

Speaker 3 12:02

Yeah .

Speaker 2 12:05

What's ? What were you doing ?

Speaker 3 12:06

Well , though , just like a go from this position to that position , to this position . Then the lady called me on it . She goes . I really enjoyed myself , but it was just like you know . She goes , it was great , but he goes . It was just like it was rehearsed , like there was a camera on and you were so smooth , like it was like , all right , now , switch , now go to this position . I'll go with that position , go you know , and you're taking around the world ?

Speaker 1 12:29

Yeah , she should have been more appreciative .

Speaker 3 12:30

Yeah , she should have lost . He was with a maestro , yeah she was , you were a lead conductor one time I was in my early 20s . Then too yeah .

Speaker 2 12:39

Well , here's a real side . There's a little side note to that .

Speaker 3 12:43

It's a side note to that .

Speaker 2 12:44

There was a video I was watching last week and they said on it what a woman likes the most when I'm doing that is Is , um , just repetition in that same position . If she starts to like something , don't switch from that , just keep doing that .

Speaker 1 12:59

I found that interesting good point .

Speaker 2 13:01

But , it was . So it takes away the showman , you just you find where she's happy to stay right in that groove , oh yeah yes , you know I get traction , though .

Speaker 1 13:10

You just want to get a leverage .

Speaker 3 13:11

I have read this before an article to where , if you feel like you're gonna Ejaculate sooner than later , then that would might be the time to switch a position .

Speaker 2 13:21

Yeah , yeah , yeah take the time . I want to throw her on top then .

Speaker 3 13:25

Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2 13:26

Because then you can last longer , right Is that ?

Speaker 3 13:28

what you're saying , or to the side . Right yeah , yeah , don't want to get too descriptive . Yeah , no , we don't . Yeah yeah , but yeah , but yeah . Oh , then role playing that's okay .

Speaker 2 13:42

I'm a 20th level wizard . Okay , we're gonna go that route . We're gonna go a little bit in that route . But what I want to say before that , yeah , is as far as ED and all that goes right , some of some people like they'll jump right into it or whatever that I can imagine them and they're not Getting it hard right away .

Speaker 1 13:58

Well .

Speaker 2 13:59

I'm saying slow down , yeah , slow way down .

Speaker 3 14:02

Yeah , slow way . That's why it's called foreplay , not insta play . Does that way you ?

Speaker 2 14:05

not . You knock a lot of that Anxiety out of you if you just take your time .

Speaker 1 14:09

Yeah , I never go that a fashion and then be into the moment , don't be into .

Speaker 2 14:13

It's like it's like a game of football . It's like , okay , are you there to win or you just there to there to not to lose ? Right , yeah , you know , if you're gonna be there to win , take it slow , go through the steps , the progressions , and you know , go slow , because if you're there to win , that's what you do , but if you're there not to lose , you're just gonna Try to do it and you finish it up and win the win , win the win , the blue ribbon , and that ain't gonna happen .

Speaker 1 14:41

So , because I think form over content or something .

Speaker 2 14:45

Yeah , I think with porn , I think that is such a killer of it . I think that's , I think that's got a big deal .

Speaker 1 14:56

You stayed with us this far , and that shows commitment , proving you possess the trait required to obtain the solution . Now let's rejoin the show already in progress .

Sexual Health and Communication Tips

Speaker 2 15:09

People think a lot of people might think they have ED and they don't . I agree , they just don't have it and there is a way to test and see if you do , and Anybody want to say what the test is . I .

Speaker 1 15:22

Think you're saying it was too well to go to a private place and then try to . What does it involve ? Was it involved masturbating ?

Speaker 2 15:31

I can't remember . Yeah , you know . Yeah , you go , you get in your car and you go to a park parking lot . You put that sunscreen the Sun blind up though . Yeah , you want to put that around your car .

Speaker 1 15:43

Turn the volume up really loud , yeah , that way you distract everybody .

Speaker 2 15:47

Oh right , yes , and when the Walmart parking lot or when the tenant comes out to check on you , just say you're all good .

Speaker 1 15:57

Oh .

Speaker 2 16:00

If you want to decide whether you have it or not , you basically masturbate . If it gets hard , on your own , by yourself . You don't have ED , you know that's . That's where it's at . You're not trying to your partner anymore . Well , no , well , yeah , it's aesthetic fatigue , it's , it could be a number of things . I , I personally think , well , I personally think a guy practices it too much during the week . I Really do .

Speaker 1 16:28

I know cuz I knew a guy who did that .

Speaker 2 16:30

Yeah , we've all known guys that have done that . And if you do that , what you're doing is you're , you're , you're desensitizing it . It needs to and it , like I said earlier , needs to be saved for special occasions , you know yeah it's bored , it's .

Speaker 2 16:49

It's when God made the God made man . He made sex to be Reserved . It's not an everyday deal . It's not . He didn't make it to be . Do we put it into porn ? He didn't make all these things and those things . When you view a lot of that stuff , it takes a big hit . Can we settle on three times a week ?

Speaker 1 17:11

Well , no , that's .

Speaker 3 17:13

That's .

Speaker 1 17:17

Three times a day ? Yeah , well , if things do get worse , you know .

Speaker 2 17:19

Things do things different . Things do attribute it to you . If you , if you want to do it totally , totally right , I would say exercise , eat right , drink a lot of water and you know , exercise your core , or just exercise , go out , give up alcohol for walks . Yeah , I think walks , I think walks are just some of the best medicine ever . What do you guys think some thing about walks ?

Speaker 3 17:43

walks are great , so sleep .

Speaker 1 17:45

Sleeps incredible sleep . No booze , you know Illegal drugs and some prescription drugs give you can give you a problem . Prescription drugs , right yeah that a little bit or antidepressants , strangely enough , can make it hard to maintain erection and make it hard to finish . Because , because also being depressed can have that effect . But yeah , being drunk , um , it's not good for what's the quote ? It's good for the the desire , but not for the performance , or yeah , something like that .

Speaker 2 18:13

There's something too like . If you're in a relationship , it's like the , the sexual polarity . If that's off , that's gonna make the sex life off . If you're married to somebody and she's being pretty masculine yes , whether you know , or I mean that if your wife , girlfriend , is , is taking over that masculine role , words that leave you with demasculated yeah , you can . So that plays a big part in me a boy . Well , that's sexual polarities . Right , when you're in her she's under feminine You're , you're in your masculine round home . Anyway , that's gonna help it off a lot .

Speaker 1 18:48

It is . So it's hard to woo someone who's in their mask , a woman in their masculine , like someone who's complaining all the time or who's like being too bossy or too negative , exactly , and then Someone who's not interested , and if they're that way with you , then that's you're dumping down cortisol because it adds stress , a lot of stress .

Speaker 2 19:05

So I think , uh , I think the best thing to do just keeps popping in my mind . Let's all list what we think is going to be best . To me it's just long walks , long brisk walks are the best thing . What do you think , greg ?

Speaker 3 19:22

that and also to uh , just , my working out involves weight training and then on the days of not weight training , I do the battle rope . So I'm and I know any type of resistance training does increase testosterone levels , naturally the way God intended it to .

Speaker 2 19:39

Yes , yeah , yeah , that's a nice exercise , nice exercises you know um Josh , what do you ?

Speaker 1 19:48

think , I think what you said , um , you know , like communication , good communication and intimacy , you know , those are the things that makes sex really great anyway . So , yeah , um , I think , if there's something , something between something , has a couple that's but going on said that , can that , can , um , that can be covering up something that you know an important thing that needs to be discussed . Let's say so . What's that now ?

Speaker 2 20:14

Well like .

Speaker 1 20:15

Like if um , ed is , if there's constantly a dysfunction and and she's , you know , she's eager and willing , then this something means something is bothering you . I think , yeah , something wrong with something . Yeah , I can't even be specific because I'm not in a relationship right now , but but you're ?

Speaker 2 20:33

you're saying , if the ED stays in the dark , yeah , if the couples aren't discussing it in a nice caring , um , thank you kind of way , yeah , they're probably not gonna get rid of it , right ?

Speaker 1 20:43

She's gonna think it's her fault that you don't like her , or you know I don't love her anymore , whatever it is , and and you're gonna think that she's thinking you're not a man and it's gonna be , it's gonna be a feedback loop , that's just you got to talk about it hundred percent right there is huge , and she's and chances are she's gonna be eager to help you . She'll jump right in there and do something special because she wants you to Feel good .

Speaker 2 21:05

I think so yep , it was right person . She's the woman for you .

Speaker 1 21:09

dog gone right yeah that's it's , it's , it's cooperative , it's not , it's not competitive .

Speaker 2 21:15

Well , she'll wear her bikini now too , when she's doing dishes and stuff . I would think , if she can get it off me .

Speaker 1 21:21

I wanted to reiterate that because communication is really important and , like saying , greg , some guys are maybe afraid to talk to a woman about sex , and they shouldn't be , because , at least in my experience , you know , my girlfriends have been really quite open to talking about it because it's Something they're interested in . They're interested in you and your , your collective happiness , and so , yeah , communication .

Speaker 3 21:47

Yeah , I agree . What do you say , greg ? I do too . And also to that communication gets stronger when you do activities With your lover . What I mean by activities ? When's the only time a lot of people see each other at home ? Go out and do things , go out and go to the beach ? Um , take those little quick two or three day weekend John's . Hang out together , experience things together Outside the house , and I believe that's where communication Increases tenfold . Oh , absolutely .

Speaker 2 22:22

Absolutely and the right kind of communication exactly .

Speaker 1 22:25

Yes , don't get that , they'd be mechanical .

Speaker 2 22:27

Yeah , the right kind of communication where it's light and funny , where you can laugh and Giggle and you could be a man and she can be . She can be a woman , she could be your lady . That's right , I mean . What more can you ask ? I know right . I mean I'm gonna end up the show saying thanks a lot , you for you guys . It's incredible input tonight . I mean I'll thank myself too , thank you Absolutely .

Speaker 1 22:48

Thank you . You did great Good . Thank you , yes , you know .

Speaker 2 22:51

But something to end it on , I would say , like I say save please , guys . Save Sex for special occasions and who you're with . You know of course you're gonna be with your wife , your fiancee , we you know . But don't practice during the week without her too much . You don't need it , save it .

Speaker 1 23:10

Oh , your erectiles will be functional .

Speaker 2 23:11

Yeah , they're gonna be there . You don't have to grab them every day and look and see if they're there and exercise , exercise and eat right , and I think you're gonna go a long way by doing that . And if you and include her in your conversation , that wraps up the show . Well , let's thanks a lot . Thank you , listener . Really appreciate you . We most definitely do , and that's it for the solution . We'll see you next time .

Speaker 1 23:42

This concludes this episode of the solution . Thanks for joining us and be sure to check out our next episode . Send your questions and comments to Craig 2042 at gmailcom . Be sure to subscribe to the solution so you can be notified the moment the next exciting episode is ready for you to listen to , and Please leave a review on Apple podcasts or on your favorite podcast player .