feel like I'm underslept road, wet and put away hard. That's not the saying. Road, hard, put away wet. That's the saying. I didn't ever hear that one. That's that seems uniquely you. But I'm,  I've been road, wet, put away hard. That's definitely how I feel.

So you look shitty is what you think. I I feel chaotic. You give chaos. Thanks, baby. You're giving chaos. So you're tired and I'm still sick. You're still sick.  you just feel like you've been hit by a truck? What is the It's specifically in my stomach, yes. So no, no eating, no food. Who needs ozempic when you can have the flu? Ugh. What about broth? No, that doesn't seem appetizing. Just black coffee? You know what?  I have had so little coffee.

Yeah. And I think that's part of the reason I feel like such a sack of shit,  yeah.  I see you've got big balls. I'm excited to talk about big balls with you. that's my topic for the record. Emily's not saying, I see you have big balls. You would've Big balls. That's the topic. I'm pretty sure I have massive ovaries.

I feel like if I'm broad, like I feel like I have big boobs, big butt. I'm going to have a big ovary. Just one.  I don't know what it looks like in there. My eggs are huge! Huge! Man, I got these sacs on my Oh my god! Sorry.  Sorry, sorry, Sorry.

Oh, you know where you are.  📍 Welcome to your weekly breakdown. The silly and occasionally smart podcast. I'm Emily, A washed up tech exec, mother of two, and I think I've overcome my dry book spell. I was,  not in a reading rhythm, but I have three books to recommend to you this week. Stand by for those. I love that. So good. It's reassuring knowing that you also have reading dry spells, even as an avid reader, I wish I could just read all the time.

That would make me very happy. That's why I have a podcast with you, because I can't read all the time. So I get to come and yap about the books with you. I love it. I'm Caitlin, I am a Nice person. No.  Let's see. What am I going to say?  I'm a Zizian in training. I'm learning about cults online and I don't think I should be. What? You're a what in training? Zizians. It's a new cult I heard about. Are we going to talk about it? I don't know if we should. We definitely should. They seem dangerous.

It's pretty dark and they're all  extreme vegans. That's one of their main principles. And yet they've killed four people. Oh my god.  Every week we get together to chat about cultural conversations and the news. We make fun of the latest pop culture dramas.

We'll judge each other's styles and life choices and rant about life's minor inconveniences.  This podcast is brought to you by Hard Copy, the free, comfort newsletter for cozy weekends. You can join the thousands of busy women who already subscribe to enjoy curated recommendations for what to watch, listen to, read, and indulge in, and to stay in the know on all things culture, work, and fun.

and women.  If you can't stand listening to Caitlin and I, that's a great reference for a lot of the things we talk about. You can get that at hardcopy. online. You know what I liked about the newsletter this week?

What?  it reminded me that there's a human being who makes this newsletter. What you said was that you were like, Hey, I'm sick as a dog this week. And, I'm not doing great, but I want you to have this. 

And it was really nice to be reminded that a human being made a list. It wasn't just a robot that made a list. I struggle with that. Whether I should be, it's Emily and this is hard copy or here's this newsletter with no person attached to it. if we're looking to have this sense of community and belonging, then.

Probably there should be  people behind it, but I didn't tell anyone about pooping my pants, so that's good.   📍 Tell me what you guys love about Carrie Coon so much. Because all of you and the actor girls that I met through Brianna, you guys are all obsessed with Carrie Coon. I just think she's an effortless performer.

And you forget that it's Carrie Coon when you watch her act. Do you call that a character actor? What do you call that? I would just say really versatile. I don't know what I would call her. I think that's what it is with Carrie Coon. Is that I've seen her in so many things and every time I watch a movie I go, Oh my god, it's her!

Oh, yeah. And I can't, and I go, why do I know her? Have you seen The first episode of season three of The White Lotus.  No, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't. Oh my God, get your shit together. We need to be able to talk about it. I know, but I'm gonna watch it tonight. Oh, are you? Okay. She has very few lines in this first episode, but to me had the grandest performance.

Really? Yes. She's part of this trio of women who are on this trip to Thailand. And there are many more characters in the show. They're one plot line. They must hate each other. The way the dialogue goes, you're just like Oh, God, like these three women who've known each other since junior high, whatever, and they are now all adults with  degrees of success in their lives.

Oh, I like that. Carrie Coon her facial expressions, you are cringing with her. Yes. And then she has this perfect. four second breakdown  it's foreshadowing for like she's gonna blow there's eight episodes or by episode six or seven She's gonna blow and the whole thing is, if you've watched any of the White Lotus You're like who's Mike White gonna kill off this time?

Yeah, and I'm like carry kill someone Because she is ready to blow. We don't know anything about her backstory. We just know she's not as successful as her friends great and she's Listening to them fucking jack each other off, metaphorically speaking, and it's it's, you've been in these friendship conversations where you're like, Ugh. 

 Oh, there's a surprise guest, but he's not a surprise guest, and I can't tell you who it is, but you're gonna go, What? Really? Yeah. Total mic drop moment. I'm glad that I haven't seen it because I'm sure there are people who are listening to the podcast who are like, no spoilers, no spoilers.

I won't spoil. No, I won't spoil.  Mike White was on Survivor and on The Amazing Race. What? Like for funsies? Yeah. Or like when he was successful?  Post School of Rock.  way. Yeah, he went on Survivor. How'd he do?

Very well. Oh. Very well. And then he and his dad did The Amazing Race. Oh, that's cool. Isn't that cute? I love Mike White. What a dream. You brought up a topic that I wanted to talk about today. Would that be the big balls? No.  It's about friendship reconnections. Oh. And Okay. Why? Your face said it all.

Ugh, I'm just, I'm still sick, so I'm anything that requires effort seems very daunting. Okay, but what if I told you it was so good for you? I believe that. Yeah. I started thinking about it because there's a movie called The Room Next Door. It's out right now, and it's starring Julianne Moore and Tilda Swinton.

And it's about two former work friends who reconnect. And then when they reconnect, they re examine their friendship. It's supposed to be excellent. And it made me think about reconnecting with old friends. Do you do that often? I don't, but I did it the other week where I texted a friend, like a Jack Handy sketch came up on SNL,  and it makes me think of these two old friends, and I sent them a text,  1am and I went, sorry for the late night text, but I saw this sketch, thought of you to miss you, love you, hope you're great.

And then the next day they were like, Oh my God. Hi. Yes, of course. And it was a really nice moment to reconnect. And it made me happy. that's something that I would have normally second guessed questioned or been like, no, don't text. That's a weird thing to text but it was really nice.

I don't often reconnect with old friends because you think, Oh, time has passed, or we fizzled out. Because for the most part, you don't break up with friends. They just fizzle out. You put your head in the sand and you walk away. But when you reconnect with these friendships, it's so important because friendships are the first relationships you get to choose, right?

These are the ones that we get to tell everybody, this is who I am based on my friends, right? It's a way of figuring out who you are.

There was a study published from Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences. We say big words. I don't have a subscription. I read it online. And it was, they did a survey of almost 13, 000 people who are all 50 years or older. And they looked at 35 different health and psychological outcomes and how they were all linked to the quality of the friendships.

And it turns out that those with friendships that lasted longer, friendships with people of different ages different kinds of people, they had a 9 percent increase in likelihood of exercise, a 17 percent reduced risk of depression and 19 percent lower likelihood of having a stroke among other findings.

This is when people are like, Oh, it's not the phones  It's that we don't see people. Yeah, so we are so removed  connect digitally with  in real  such a contributor to feeling sad Yeah, but I was also reassured to be like reach out to that friend that you haven't spoken to but you have love in your I mean, obviously not the friends that you've left and it's for the best that they're not in your life anymore, Reconnecting with friends that did mean something to you that you still have love there It's easier than making new friends, I'll say that.

Oh, that's true. So if you're feeling like, oh my god I do miss these people, then reconnect because you already have a history there. Yeah. I don't even see my existing friends. Yeah. My current friends. We're just in, I don't know if it's just a phase of life or maybe they're all hanging out without me, but I don't see them very much anymore.

No. I don't think they're all hanging out without you. They probably It's fine.  You know what's interesting is that they say it takes 200 hours to form a close bond with someone. Absolutely. Yes. At least. 200 hours. 1, 000 if you're an Aquarius. the idea of starting a brand new friendship with someone is actually quite daunting. You are a new friend to me and we're putting hours in there. But imagine what we're going to be like when we've been together for 200 hours. We're gonna be like what is the movie 

bob and Star go to Vista Del Mar. That's us, yes, you knew exactly the movie I was talking about. That's us for sure. Do you send voice notes to people?  Voice notes are, to me, such a helpful way of maintaining a connection, because my best friend, I don't see her very often, just the way life goes in parenting and where she lives and where I live.

We live in the same city. I know, it's still ridiculous, just like different neighborhoods. It's like a 25 minute drive, she doesn't have a car, whatever. So we send each other multiple voice notes every day. And I actually like getting her Uninterrupted thoughts, because I'm an interrupter, so it's actually really helpful for me to sit, listen, sometimes take notes, and then, chat back.

We'll have a real live call if there's like something daunting happening. It's very helpful, and so I was delighted when I saw in Time magazine uh, this article. By actually a Canadian writer uh, Rainsford Stouffer, why voice notes are a small act of love.

And I was so excited because it's legit. It's not a phone call. It's not a text. It's some weird space in between. It's a sweet spot. It's very intimate, a voice note. Oh yeah, and then you put it out there and If my best friend, if I see that she's kept a voice note, I'll write back, Dumb bitch.

Delete. Do not keep that one. Brianna keeps them. Does she? Sometimes she'll keep my voice notes and I'm like, what did I say? Oh no. Oh no, you do not keep my voice notes. Some you can because they're funny. But the ones where I'm like, guess what I heard about so and so. you're gonna love this.

 We learned it. Who? Dorinda Medley. You told me as advice, say it, forget it, write it, regret it. I think that getting to listen to each other as Rainsford says in her essay, it's a meaningful way to stay in touch that liking an Instagram story just isn't.

It's something more than that. It's more than sharing someone's thing or commenting on something.  hearing people's voice too.  I've got a couple of friends, I don't normally send a voice note, but  if we're texting about something a bit more serious, my writing style can be very curt or sometimes it can also be extremely, it can be verbose.

So I like to send a voice note so they can hear my tone of voice. Oh, because I think you miss a lot in just the written word. I want to hear someone like giggle before they say Oh, okay, I did get cottage cheese from the store. It's like something, it adds, yeah, it adds a nice little quality to it.

Yeah, I love it. It's like a mini podcast. I'm a big fan. I can always tell when my friends are sending me a voice note from the bathroom because there's a funny little echo. Oh, interesting. Yeah, so I also know being like, that's another level of intimacy, being like, were you peeing while talking to me? I love that.

I send most of mine when I'm driving. Oh yeah? Yeah, that's just the time. Yeah. I drive a lot,   so send your friends a voice note, even if it's awkward for you. I wanted to follow up because I got some interesting messages after I posted the clip about  

your erotic masseur for women. Oh, and yeah, the Mr. M in New York. Doctor. Sorry, Dr. M. Not a dr. M.  And people have a hard time with that, people have a really hard time with it. What part? Paying for that. For sex work? No. I think it's just a thing that not the significant majority of people do.

So when you're talking about it, I think folks  who are very open minded, just struggle a little bit with it. But one sent me back this. article that I hadn't read  this is from 2014, 2015, so around the same time we're talking about Dr.

M, that article is 2018. I think so, yeah. In the cut. this one, the headline is, In Japan, you can rent handsome weeping boys to wipe away your tears. So you can literally, for about  She's dying. For about 7, 900 yen or 65 dollars, it is now possible in Japan to hire an attractive man to come to your workplace and gently brush away your tears as you weep.

If you need help getting the waterworks flowing, he will also  sit in your cubicle and watch sad videos with you until you cry.  There's a company, Handsome Weeping Boys. Crying Together is the latest experience available for purchase in Japan,  sex, obviously, but cuddling, watching television, or cleaning up your apartment after you die alone in it. It was started by  Terai, a businessman with a particular acumen for identifying monetizable gaps in the emotional health of an increasingly atomized society.  People are lonely and this businessman is a bit of an evangelist on the benefits of Rikatsu, which roughly translates to tear seeking.  feel better after they have a good cry. Or an orgasm. Whoa. Yeah, that goes back to your Dr. Atmon. If you haven't listened to that's in episode 22?

So just following up on that, I do read the notes, I do hear the feedback. 

I'm glad that a lot of people had a reaction to it because  whether reaction good or bad. Good to know that it's there. The whole point, we want to have a laugh, have a think.  I think right now we put a disproportionate amount of weight on the wrong people  when we're looking for opinions on something.

Strangers in a comment section  like the tech oligarchs  we're so interested in their opinion, and we've stopped thinking for ourselves, yeah. I like when people actually are like, Hey, I listened to this, and I thought this, and I had this feeling about it, and I'm not sure.

I love that. I love that, too. Yeah. Because I also don't know. I, it's not like we come to this podcast and going Okay, I know exactly what I'm going to say and how I feel about it. A lot of time, I'll bring something to you and go, I don't know why, but I want to talk about this. Oh, I have something that I very strongly feel about.

Oh, yeah? Yes. NASA has been ordered to remove anything about women in leadership from its websites. Obviously I have some feelings. You have some feelings too. Okay, so there's a broader story here. Obviously my favorite tech journalists at 404 Media, you really should subscribe to their shit if you really like  learning about tech and getting really nerding out, they're the best nASA obviously is working hard to comply with U. S. President Donald Trump's crusade targeting DE& I, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at federal agencies. So in a memo that was sent out on January 22nd, NASA employees were ordered to scrub mentions of certain terms from the agency's website by the end of that day.

404 Media obviously obtained the memo. The memo also said this is a drop everything and reprioritize your day request. This was a few weeks ago. Did you not hear about this? Not at all. I know. This is crazy.  The list includes mentions of diversity, equity, inclusion programs.

underrepresented groups and people, environmental justice, and anything specifically targeting women, i. e. women in leadership, per the memo. It's just stuff like that, it's a little bit annoying to read that. So NASA's workforce is composed of approximately 35 percent women and 30 percent minorities.

There's so many amazing women who are there. this is real stuff that's happening. That sucks for NASA, 

now, it's only gonna be the boys apparently keeping me posted when NASA says there is a 2. 4 percent chance that an asteroid will hit Earth in 2032, which is up from 2. 2 percent earlier this month. Oh, it went up. It went up. So you heard about the asteroid. I heard about the asteroid.

Okay, but not about, don't say women.  Now we're trusting the boys apparently. You mean big balls? The big balls.  Are you not worried about this asteroid? I can't right now. I know, I don't have the capacity to figure this out. If I didn't start the asteroid, I'm not gonna stop it.

Are you worried about the asteroid? That's not a 0 percent chance. That's a 2. 4 percent chance. Yeah.  So you are worried. And it's changing. Am I worried? No. If anything,  it fills up my, life mantra post 2018 that's just YOLO.  do good things. Be a part of your community, take care of yourself so that you can take care of others, and have a great fucking time.

Yes. that's life. Yeah. It's hard, I'm not gonna say it's not hard, I'm a little bit Carrie Coon right now for myself. Carrie Coon episode one, the white lotus for myself, but, tomorrow might not be here.  I wake up in the morning and I'm like, oh  night Like I really just got it still here.

 Fake it till you believe it right just keep saying it's a beautiful day today wipes tear from her eye. So yeah, no, I'm not too worried about the Big Balls.  Okay, I'm saying Big Balls because Big Balls is someone. Who's Big Ball?  There is someone named Big Balls.

No.  It's his nickname. Elon Musk is this head of Doge for the U. S., blah blah blah. Anyways, something came out and they were like, Are you the head of DOJ? And he's no, I'm not the head of DOJ. Even though in December, Trump said, I'm pleased to announce that the great Elon Musk will lead the Department of Government Efficiency, DOJ.

Now he's saying, no, Elon's no, I'm not in  What the fuck? No, I don't lead DOJ. I'm just an advisor. So get this, there is someone who is the senior advisor to the State Department and the Department of Homeland Security, whose nickname is Big Balls. Ew. He is a 19 year old boy. Oh yeah!

The teenagers who were, these are the programmers, sorry the hackers, sorry the programmers that he hired. Yeah. So this guy, Big Balls is his nickname, is basically,  he has access to everything, he's in charge of everything. his name is Edward Chorostein. And he graduated high school, and he's 19. He's one of the youngest members of Musk's crew.  He's from Neuralink. This guy is a  loser far as I'm concerned. What makes him a loser? He's 19.

His nickname is Big Balls, and that's what he goes by. He works for the government. He has access to documents he should not have access to. When I was 19, my nickname was Icebox.  That's cool. Play hockey? No, I wouldn't have sex with any of the boys I lived with.  That's a good nickname. This Big Balls guy, he has a worrying incident in his past where a cyber security company he worked for said it fired him in 2022 for leaking sensitive data.

don't think what they're up to is any good. I think the latest is that they now have access to people's tax returns. Yes. That's  it's very messy, messy, messy. It is, and so I understand why people go I can't, But you really got hung up on the Big Balls I couldn't believe that there's a hundred people under this Doge department. Yeah. That are stripping federal Spending. . Everywhere. . They're looking to make sure that no waste is happening. . And that there's a 19-year-old nicknamed Big Balls.

Who's in charge? . Is he in charge?  Let's not kid ourselves. Who? Noah? A judge ruled today and they said, so then who is in charge of Doge? And the spokesperson said, that's a question I don't know how to answer.  God.  This was at the press this morning.

Press room this morning.  I don't know, I just think it's so bro y, it's so I think there's two women out of like a hundred people in this DOJ department. In fact, I know there are only two. I have all proficiency as an ex operations officer. Person. For years and years. I love efficiency. Yes.

no doubt in my mind Government spending is over the top.

You look at our own government and here in Canada,  60 billion deficit. We have a 20 billion over, the 40 billion deficit. That's insane to me. We are not fiscally responsible No. And neither is the states.  I'm sure there's waste in lots of places.

I just would maybe go about it in a slightly different way. This guy's in charge.  He's never had sex before.   Ever. And now he's gonna hack us. He's coming for us. We said that. Yeah it's very concerning to see no one wants to claim that they are in charge.

It was Vivek Ramaswamy and Elon Musk were originally put in charge. Of course they need two dudes to run one efficiency department.

Duh. But what does it say too? And Vivek right away is like, I quit. I'm not working with Elon Musk. That's what he said. He said it's too difficult to work with Elon Musk. I can't work with him. How could you? He now has fathered his, what we know of, 13th child with a 26 year old influencer.

Very efficient. You know speaking of Canadian politics, we talk a lot about American politics.

No, we don't. We talk about American politics. I think more than we do Canadian politics. I think we talk about mess.  Okay. Fair. If you're messy, we'll talk about it. Okay. That is fair. We talk about mess. Also messy. I think it's important to remind people too that in Canada.

There's a lot in flux.  The Globe and Mail and Nanos research just came up with a new poll And I think it's interesting to see how we are changing how we vote as Canadians based on Donald Trump.

Before Trump came into power, Pierre pollievre had a strong lead. And it seemed like the Conservatives had this in the bag. Now we don't really care about those policies that he was originally running on, and they just did a poll right now, and nationally, 40 percent of respondents chose that they would vote for Carney, compared to 26 percent who were in favor of Pollievre.

Wow. And 13 said that they would vote for Chrystia Freeland. Which I find shocking. Yeah, that blows my mind. When you're, the media you consume is not Canadian. your view of Canadian politics will change.  The messaging I see is a lot of people are like,  see what's happening there? That's what's gonna happen with conservatives here. I've seen that too. And that's a great you know what? If I'm running a campaign, I would absolutely be doing that.

Yeah.  Absolutely. I think the slogan that the Liberal Party right now is using to discredit Pierre Pollievre is, wrong guy, wrong time.  so gentle. I know. That's like an ex boyfriend. Or it's not him, not now. It's something very Oh. It's pointing out the time that, that they're referencing that in this climate he can't be it.

 If I was a  conservative government. I would be doing everything in my power to abolish the Online News Act because what's happening is folks center left, believe that Canada's right is America's right.

Which it isn't. No. But everything you're consuming would have you believe. Yeah, our left is pretty centrist. And our right isn't that right. No. And but because we consume all this media from the states. On social media where a lot of us get our news, whether we register that or not, it's editorialized.

 Canadians are now more afraid of, as reflected in this poll, the right and what the right stands for. 

Yeah. Did you watch the hockey game or hear about that hockey game that happened over the weekend on Saturday night?  So I have to pick and choose how much TV I can watch, watching a hockey game I find very challenging watching this stuff go on the screen.

Yep. It really fucks with my eyeballs. But I did hear about the three fights in the first 10 minutes, the first fight was like, as the puck dropped. Canadians booed. We booed the anthem. And then apparently we booed every U.

S. player that got called out, as they named them. Oh, really?  They were like, Please respect the anthem! And everyone just went, Boo!  Yeah, booing is inherent to sports. It's all we have, though. You know what I mean? Booing is not a bad thing. Booing is I'm anti booing the refs, which is controversial.

I know. What if they make a stupid call? You know what I didn't do? Study for years and years to be a ref. So But booing is our It's our right. It's the only power you have as a spectator. Do you? I'm not saying I don't hate on you. That's one of those things that I don't like to do it.

It makes me feel sad when other people do a ref. Especially in kid sports. These refs are, like, in grade seven. Yeah.  Oh, no, I'm talking about And the fucking coaches are like, What the fuck, ref? He's shouting at these little kids. Oh, that's insane. It takes everything I have to not go over to the  down, these are nine year olds. No, I mean in professional leagues, with adults. I think you should boo the national anthem.  Exactly. I think Fuck you! Come for my country. Yeah. Come get me, bitch. Americans voted for this person who's threatening to annex our sovereign country.

Please. What do you think about that? What do you think about the booing of the US anthem? The booing of the anthem, I understand.  I found upsetting were the athletes fighting because it felt political.

When you have two teams, hear me out. You're making it mean something. We have no clue as to whether or not it did. No, but it was one of those things where it felt very much like a political feeling because the fight happened after the booing of the Anthem, right? So it was like, screw you guys.

You don't boo us. We punch you. These are professional athletes. I don't think so. So then why are they fighting within the first nine seconds of a game? And they're not like rival teams, right? These are like, it's Team USA versus Team Canada. So it's not like the Flames versus Oilers. Sure.  Historical rivals.  This also isn't regular season, so if you get in a fight and get a suspension in this game, you're not going to get punished, I assume, in your regular season. No, but you can still get hurt. These guys aren't scared of getting hurt.

Oh, I know, they're punching helmets. watching those three fights, it just felt like more than hockey. That's my take. Three fights in that, in the first few minutes of the game is not just them playing hockey.

 And Canada won. Thanks. Fuck. But that's just now we're even. We won the battle, but we haven't won the war.

  📍 I do think it's important to note that there's a new cult and they're called Zizians. How many cults are there? Oh, I don't know. So many. There's probably so many.  But this one is interesting because they're very smart.

They all come from the San Francisco Bay area. They're like ex programmers and like tech geniuses, which is also its own cult. Who described themselves as Extreme vegans. How do you vegan extremely? As in no harm on any animal if possible at all.  That's vegan.

Yeah, if you're in a cult, you have to add extreme to it. Yeah, they believe in they worship  AI a little bit as a god, like an all knowing god. They, Fuck, is Brian Johnson part of this? I don't no, he's not a Zizian. No? No. He is a vampire. He's something else. These Zizians are led by a group.

You're going to be shocked by this. It's a a person named Ziz  who has faked their own death.  Put out a public obituary and then later found, , and when they found him, he pretended to sleep and wouldn't move. 

Such a loser.  Okay, but here's where it's serious. They have killed four people. What? Yeah. Okay, as a group? Yeah. As members of their cult? Members of their cult have killed four people now. That weren't in the cult? That were not in the cult. Why? They have killed uh, How can you be vegan but kill a person?

Exactly. Harm no one, but kill a border guard, your landlord, with a samurai sword. And then the parents of one of the cult members. Who were like, don't be in this cult, it's dangerous. Yeah, and they're like now we gotta kill ya. Oh my god. I know. Is this real? Is this true? This is real. No.

Isn't that wild? Why? Why? Why are they Zizians? Yeah.  It came out of blogs, discord forums, niche forums. This Ziz guy cultivated his following because apparently he's very charming. And very smart. They always are. The Zizians are created by this person, Jack Ziz Lasoda. Ziz is in quotation. So his name isn't anything Ziz.  He just goes by Ziz. What was the name in the obituary?  La Soda. they've since been arrested and they face multiple charges including trespassing, obstruction, illegal firearm possession. Lasoda, or Ziz, who identifies as a trans woman, has been linked to various crime scenes and runs a blog under the name Ziz, where she discusses topics like the duality of brain hemispheres and their potential conflicts.

Ziz has also said that she has found a way to sleep half the hemisphere of your brain, and use the other, which is literally just staying awake.  The group has been connected to several violent events, including the fatal shooting of a U. S. Border Patrol agent during a stop near the Canadian border.

They've also, killed an 82 year old landlord in California, as well as the parents of one of the Zizian cult Where did you learn about these people? There was an article about them. In the San Francisco Gate. It's a death cult on the run. A Bay Area fringe group terrorizing America.

Death, four deaths, are they terrorizing America? Maybe not, but still the fact that there was like a new cult  anybody can start anything, write anything, say anything. You got a microphone, you can have a podcast.

Yeah, and he and Ziz got these people interested in this cult because what they were saying were really beautiful things, right? Extreme veganism, we must take care of everyone. How do we Let's shoot a border guard. Yeah, it's Weird. Yeah  are we gonna get more and more cults coming out of this?

Is this gonna be a Like,  the rabbit holes of the internet going to create more and more cults? And fringe ideologies?  the internet you can reach more people. Yeah. But, we've talked about this before, with the reduction in the number of people who identify as being part of a religion, we will still look to fill that community gap. And so I do think that's a little bit of where  come in. Yeah.  Anyways, keep your eyes open everyone. Don't join a cult. Speaking of weird little cults, did you watch Apple Cider Vinegar? I haven't yet. Excellent, you must. It was a documentary or no? No, it's not.

It's a fictionalized version of a true story. Okay. And it's  everything that's wrong with the wellness industry. You've probably heard about the influencer of faked cancer. Yes. It's this. Scamming her audience. And it's it just is very highly entertaining and I'm still thinking about how easily fooled we are by all this snake oil shit.

Yeah. It's such a predatory industry. Anyway, I highly recommend it. It's on Netflix. Okay. It stars  who is in Booksmart. Oh yeah, I love her! She's so good. She nails her little Aussie accent. She's so good. She's almost as good at her Aussie accent as you are.

Aw,  📍 thanks.  have three. Very good books to you. So the first one is by Elizabeth Ellen. Randomly, I picked up her book of short stories years and years ago.

Called Fast Machine. And it was reading that that made me want to try to write. Her style, the stories, how it made me feel,  she's actually built up quite a cult following as the founding editor of what's called Short Flight Long Drive Press. And she's also the author of several novels and collections

 Her latest fiction release, I don't have it here with me, American Thighs, follows a former child star whose Hollywood dream dissipated when she was impregnated by a veteran actor. Fifteen years after his death, she abandons her family and pretends to be a 16 year old in a frantic attempt to regain the youth she lost.

It is so good. Oh, I love that. Yeah, she's got a gritty edge to her, and it's almost told in the way of Daisy Jones and the Six. other characters Speaking.  Not an oral history, but uh, It's that  other people are telling And the protagonist as well.

Yeah. So good. Highly recommend it. Aggressively changing gears. I'm only about halfway through this one. It's called Victorian Psycho.  Virginia Fato's first novel, Mrs. March, was a Sunday Times bestseller, and Victorian Psycho is sure to sell even more copies.

It's just recently released, so I'm not sure where it is on the charts. The title itself should give you a good idea of the plot and tone, but if you're dying to know more, the book follows a governess at a gloomy estate who finds herself tempted to murder her young charges. A24 has already bought the film rights and attached Margaret Qualley and Thomas and Mackenzie to the project.

So you should get a head start before  out. Oh, that's great. Yeah, really good. You want it after I'm done? Yeah, I do. Okay. And the third and final. Josephine Baker wrote a memoir in 1949,  it's now available translated to English. It's never been translated. Josephine Baker is the famed dancer turned World War II spy.

Baker shares revelations about navigating stardom in the roaring 20s, carrying out secret missions despite her celebrity, and eventually becoming  activist in the States.

 If you're looking to get out of a reading slump like I've been trying, those three books will do the trick. I'd like to recommend a movie, and I just heard about it today because today is Josée's birthday.

Da da da Da! Josée is our audio engineer. And we were talking about what do you do for your birthday, and she said she was going to watch one of her favorite movies called Aust 

Land, 

and I had never heard of it. I don't know her. Jose was saying this happens quite a bit with this movie that people go, I don't know that movie.

I never heard of it. I recognize the cover. Yes. Okay Austin Land is starring Keri Russell and also Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, aka Jane Seymour! Yeah. Oh my god! Yeah. And it's about this woman who buys a like an experience vacation to live in one of Jane Austen's books or like in the Austen world.

So you like go and you live in a castle and you get to have the full Jane Austen experience. But it's, and it's Kerry Russell who goes and does this. And apparently it's so funny. It's smart. It's from 2013, but anything Jane Austen related is right up my alley. So comforting. And who's JJ? Field. What up?

Yeah, and Jennifer Coolidge is in it. That's right.  Last week we were talking about how do you find new music when everything feels so much the same and generated. The hard copy newsletter. You read the hard copy newsletter. Or you look to the past and you go what music haven't I heard yet that will still be new? Fair. And I think the same thing should be applied with movies where there are so many great movies that you're like I never saw that, never even heard of it.

So Austin Land it's just, it's right up my alley and I might watch it tonight  📍 too.    New music,  there's a lot of good music.   Sharon Van Etten has a new album out, obviously the multi hyphenate artist can do whatever the hell she wants, and her talent and creative force make it as special as the rest of the work she does. It's really good. On repeat this week.

I love that. So good. Yeah, I was watching some of the music compilations from SNL's 50th. I was gonna ask you! It was so Everything. You must have watched the whole show. I PVR'd it. I watched it. I'm saving it. It was Where can I watch it? Good luck. You need the Peacock streaming site.

They really exclusively just put it all on Peacock. I don't know how Canadians are supposed to watch it. Yarrr.   Everything was great. they really, they got exactly what people wanted to celebrate 50 years of a live television show in which 45 of those years was run by Lauren Michaels.

incredible. Because they have live music also on Saturday Night Live, it got people used to and excited about seeing someone play music live. So Even while you're watching TV at home, you're watching a live music performance, and there's something really exciting about that.

Hearing, Paul Simon singing The Boxer  after 9 11. And you think about moments like that and how much we needed to see someone and see that kind of performance, hear that kind of song. One of the first episodes after the COVID lockdown, when SNL got back to in person performance, they had Jack White come and play music and the piece he chose was this like really cool, it was a rock piece that had been written after like the Spanish flu  and just like how the music is chosen and why it's important. And I love that show. I think it's, it's not always great.   There were many events. Did you watch all the concerts from Friday night? Then there was the Saturday night.  There was the whole special. There was like a whole Sunday night was the special, was the big special. Friday night was the big concert. And then Saturday night, where their usual time slot was like a best of. So you could see like Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner. I was going to ask what you thought of that. It's exceptional. Yeah, you must look up to so many and that the fact that it hasn't changed how they write the show, why don't you audition for it? I'm too old. No, you're not. I'm not  Like, is that a thing you wanted to do?

No. Why? No,  I've never had a calling to do that. Why not? I think after I did Second City, where  you write, you perform, you write, you perform. It's so intense. I got a taste for it and I went, I don't think this is for me. It's too hard.

It's too hard. And I don't play characters. Oh. To audition, you have to have three characters. Yes. you just know something and you go, it's not for me. Yes. It's just intuitive. As a person who doesn't understand that industry, I just assumed that you, as a funny person and comedian, would have wanted to do that.

That would just fall the dream, which is ignorant of me. I also want to stay married. Have a life, have friends. It's it's really taxing. how many hours a week do you work now?

 I'm better at looking at the year as a whole and being like, what was my average? I know and you guys as actors and writers, it's definitely a different schedule. I see that. When I'm self employed, I'm anywhere between 15 and 20 hours a week. When I'm working on a show. That's 80 plus. Yeah, insane.

 I miss Working all the time. Yeah. 'cause I don't get to anymore. I know. That sounds so crazy. No, I understand. Like I used to hire a nanny on Saturdays  so that I could work a sixth day.  If I wanted to make moves the way I wanted to and perform the way I wanted to and do a really good job, For, there was a solid year or two, both my partner and I, we would hire the  for a  You miss those days or no? I miss feeling so driven. Yeah. I think that's what I miss.  That's part of the grind culture, hustle culture.

It's oh so there's something wrong with you if you don't want to do that  And I'm, I have a hard time separating that. I'm worried I'll be complacent or that being content or working 50 hours a week means I'm not doing enough. But I grew up in a family that was like, You are nothing without your work.

I still have a lot of that wrapped up in me years and years of trying to I'm doing that. Yeah. Yeah, which I find easier and doing the creative stuff I do find that easier because it's not ours.  Just like ding.

I'm like, where did that come from? I didn't sit at a computer for 30 hours coming up with it, Have you had that in the shower? Or as you're falling asleep? No, mine are Those great ideas. Mine are when I'm walking. And not with the dog, specifically. The dog, I'm pretty focused on the dog.

Yeah. But I, if I just like cruise  five kilometers. Oh my god, I'm a genius. Yeah. So I actually take my phone and record and talk to myself. Smart. I must look like an absolute lunatic, but I don't even care. And I record stuff. I miss being super driven And I think that's like the haze of, moderate depression  and mild anxiety. Just kids not really feeling I don't know, obviously I'm a little blue today. Struggling a bit the podcast is actually an interesting experience because I woke up this morning and I was like, I don't want to do this.

But by the time we leave, I'll be like, Oh my God, it was so good. I love it. I gotta edit it. I gotta do all this.  doing the thing fills up my cup. It's the like. Dread that is so strange. Same with social interactions. You know that I get super stressed out before I go to them. I know you do.

Which is not even like a confidence thing. I don't know how to better explain I am very cool with who I am and how I am, but I get I think I'm like wary of how exhausted I'll feel after. Good. But exhausted. Oh yeah. I don't know. And I know that you trust, if we were to go for drinks, I know both things can be true that you trust me and you know that we're going to have a great time and you're going to dread it up until the minute you get in there.

Yeah, I don't know where the fuck that came from. I know exactly what you mean. I have the same thing when I perform. every Sunday morning I wake up and I go, I don't want to do a show tonight. Really? Yeah. Huh. And then I have to remind myself good thing I don't have to do it right now I don't have to do it now. That's a later thing, right? So I try to like, to get rid of that, because I don't want to have eight hours of dread leading up to a comedy show.  I can talk myself out of anything. I'll be, I've booked the gym. There'll be a 20 fee for not showing at the gym. And I'll have all my gym clothes laid out. And I'll still the fuck you rebel within me is like,  roll over.

To the point of self sabotage. Maybe you just need to be easier on yourself.

 How boring. I think I'm pretty easy on myself. No, I don't. I don't think you are at all. I tried that on a tinfix. You literally said it and as you're saying you're like nah,  that's not it.  I love what we're doing. I love all the other stuff with hardcopy, but I don't really know what I'm doing.

No. but I have to remember that no one else fucking does either. That is the one truth. All those people who are out there in the news bloviating about all these things they know and how they're going to fix this and do that and all their experience, like they're literally not sure either.

No, of course not, but that's not a I don't think a known thing and I need to remind myself of that It's very easy to look in other lanes and go. Oh that person's doing better. Oh that person's doing better So I have to get better at my top tip post and ghost do not fucking doom scroll. Don't do it And then walk away.

Ghost and ghost. And the second one is, again, I think limiting phone time or just throwing your phone in the ocean is very effective. See people in real life. Those are like, that is going to keep you grounded. it's not about going away for a weekend and like having 48 hours to myself.

It's not about stop drinking. It's not about. Work your body more. It's such a mental game. I do think, obviously, the benefits of  are incredible on your brain. Yes. On your mental health. Like you said, I should just have a podcast where I interview therapists and get my therapy for free. 

I think it's a great idea. I've been starting my mornings by doing ten minutes of meditation. You're still doing it? Yeah. am so proud of you. I had to look at the calendar. It's Thanks, babe. You're at six weeks in. More often than not, I do.   Getting up and aiming for the goal. Even if you're missing it, you're still aiming for it. Yeah, that's incredible. Good for you I noticed you were being a lot less gunty on this podcast. It's the meditation, isn't it? You're a nicer person. I don't know about that. I just talked about a bunch of losers and a cult. Big balls.

I'm trying to get in my body and get out of my head. because I'm trying to do exactly what you said I'm trying to counter the weight of What I feel really does drain me is phone, internet. , I'll give you a tip that my psychiatrist gave me, and I'll give it to you for free. When I'm in my head, it's not a great thing for me. So she's like, so then get out of your head. I was like, oh, okay, sure, I'll do that.

 I can't just, you can't tell me get out of your head. You're like I'm thinking about how I'm going to do that. So she said, go to the store, pharmacy, drugstore, wherever you want. And you know, those little mitts, the loofah mitts.

Okay. She said, buy a pair and just scrub every inch of your body in the shower making sure that you touch from your toes to your tip of your head, just scrubbing every part of your body. Hey, start at your fingertips and then go to the core of your body is a practice in.

Being in your body. I see. Sure.  Lighting all the other nerves. Yeah, and even that little thing in the morning is very helpful. You do it every morning. No, when I shower. How often do you shower? butt and body, like every, I'd say 36 hours. What is the alternative to butt and body? Hair. Oh, Oh, I just haven't heard butt and body.

Like butt is on your body. Yeah, but it's its own thing. I don't wash my legs, but I wash my butt. I have heard this thing about people who don't wash their legs. What the fuck? Soap's going down that way. Yeah, but you get a scrub. What's getting on my legs that needs a scrub? Sweat,  I don't know. Yeah, and I'm saying in the process of a rinse, it's going. Huh. I'm saying there's times where I just do a little you just go in the shower and you just rinse. I rinse a roo. I rinse a roo. Yeah, and then I'd say hair. Once or twice a week. I gotta shower  I know, I gotta shower more too.

In all the quizzes that I've done around health, physical and mental health, there's definitely one that's around.

How's your hygiene? Seriously. Yeah. And I have to remember that. Yeah. I need to defy that and be like, no, I will shower every day. Yeah. I know that sounds so stupid, but like, when you work from home and, athleisure's in, I can just wear a fucking sweater. Yeah. Anyway, I know it sounds so, I don't know if I'm gonna put this one on the podcast,  I'm working on my hygiene.

I'm proud of you, babe. You smell great.  We're talking about this idea of mindfulness. Yes. And centering you know the term the third eye? Yes. Okay. Where it's supposed to be this like intuitive space, a chakra, if you will. I believe it. There are times where I feel a sense of like power around there.

And so I was like it's obviously not a third eye. What is it? And then I stumbled upon something called the theory of mind. the theory of mind is essentially  the ability to understand others thoughts and emotions. Is that not empathy? Okay empathy would be in the theory of mind.

It's understanding, anticipating, it is empathy, but it's also understanding deception, like deception detection. Social intelligence. I have a huge third eye. Yeah, okay. Turns out that third eye, the theory of mind, is your, pineal gland? Your pineal gland, which is in the middle of your brain, essentially where the third eye would be, but all the way back, and the pineal gland is responsible for visions, dreams, and deep inner knowing. Whoa. It makes sense that this gland that we perceive as this third eye feels so powerful about perception, when reality is, it's our  pineal, Where did you read this? Where? Yeah?  What do you mean, where? The internet? Some, yeah. Yeah. Articles? To be clear, pro science here. Pro vaccinations. Also, open to weird shit like third eye stuff. Here's the thing. The third eye has always been seen with spiritual insight, higher wisdom, right?

But I think that was our way of understanding what this powerful brain is doing. if the third eye is spiritual insight and higher wisdom, the theory of mind, the  gland, is the understanding of others thoughts and emotions. Some say that the third eye is connecting to a divine knowledge, whereas the theory of mind is grounded in psychology and neuroscience.

I see, okay. It's interesting because there's a lot of mystical traditions about the third eye. And what's cool is when science  that. Or supports that. Supports it, yeah. it's about being able to see beyond surface level actions. So it is an intuitive thing, right? It keeps us safe. The pineal gland It helps with the understanding of what's really going on in someone else's mind, it's understanding perception. So I just thought that was really cool to go. The third eye is a thing. It's not mythical. Yeah, as opposed to using the vague term of intuition.

It's real. And it's real based on glands in your brain that actually serve in that function. Yeah. And I just think that's cool when  it's your brain serving a very specific purpose. I don't know what you'd explain this as.

A handful of people know this. The day before my thirteenth birthday, I was at a basketball game with my high school basketball team and we were stopped to eat at like a Tim Hortons or something on the way home. It's dark out. it's the middle of winter.

We were sitting there eating and I was at a table with this girl named Jessica, who's listening, thank you, and a girl named Rachel. And I was eating like chili or something I got a full body of goosebumps It was such a physical feeling. And something was off. I just said something really bad just happened.

And they both looked at me. We're in grade eight. They're like, shut the fuck up, right? And I got home, and my grandmother was there, which was so strange. She's crying. And I'm like, what?

And she said, your dad had a heart attack. I know! And I didn't even put two and two together until I remember going to school the next week. And the girls were like, that's so crazy.  There's some shit that is we can into it.

We can feel we are connected. I, that's the stuff that I'm always very interested in. The idea of a different energy or power that we can't see touch or we can sometimes feel our access. I like the term a non physical knowledge. So it's that thing of just being like, I don't, it's a, but it's a knowledge.

. You are aware of something. Something happened. Just fucked up. Anyway. Lived. That's cool.  . Yeah. Your dad. Your dad is alive and well, he's alive. Oh shit, I'm a witch. You might be. I sure am. I would be burned. But I think just stuff like that's and it's funny because I think we're often coached  turn it off.

And I just love when I feel very open to it and access it.  Outdoors. In nature, going for a walk through, massive forest or near the ocean or something.  You just reminded of how little you are and how much power all of these elements carry.

Yeah. Outside of you. You're right. We're very quick to dismiss it or to ignore it.  I think you could go a little crazy if you were constantly paying attention. I do too. I think there's you gotta be, and that's why I liked the idea that this was actually, that the third eye was actually.

centered and rooted in something scientific. Okay. And I want to follow this up because I have been in a workplace where the like HR person said she was clairvoyant. I just, I think there's a time and a place even if you're clairvoyant, I don't think you should tell people in your workplace that.

No. And even if you can think you can speak to spirits, don't tell someone. I see. In HR. In HR.  Holy. My best friend and I have a trick. If one of us dies first, the other one's gonna go to a medium or some sort of  speaker. Yes. And we have a secret word. Okay. So Kayla and I have a secret word, which is, we will never tell.

I'm not going to tell anyone what the word is. She'll never tell anyone what the word is. if this psychic medium, all knowing person is able to say the word that Kayla and I have  rem we got to write it down because I do keep forgetting. You do need to write it down. Then I'll know for sure that it's her talking to me.

But if the medium just says Oh, yeah, I'm seeing a a beautiful brunette. You loved her very much. I'd be like, It was Kayla! has to be a word. It has to be our word. It's just like a little test. I like it. It's like when kids would tell their parents  I'm not telling you what I told, I want from Santa.

Oh my God, my kids do that one year. Is that, yeah, right? Where they'll say to their parents, I'm not telling you what I asked Santa. For Christmas? Yeah, that's why I get them to write a letter. Yeah, and you're like, I'll mail it. Basically, that's the same advice I give for someone who's worried about AI scams. What's that? AI scams. A medium. Have a secret password. Have a secret code word between you and your person. Oh with the voice copying kind of scams?

That's actually a great idea. What's the code word?  I didn't even think of it in a practical way. I was just thinking about it when I die.  Wow. Did you hear the Pope is sick? I did.

Did you watch The Covenant? Yeah, I hated it. You did? I thought it was the most boring movie I've ever watched. I was furious at the end of that movie. Yeah, I went, for what? For who? For what? For who?  What a fucking waste. And the ending? The ending can suck my butt.  Rafe finds I could watch him really care. Yeah, sure. Cool. But also what a snooze. Oh,  And I have friends who are like, you're wrong, Caitlin. And I'm like, no, I'm not. That's the beautiful thing about art.

There's no right answer. I did see a Nora though. Oh, Mikey Madison. So good. Yeah, love it. So good. And then I also saw a real pain. Oh, Jesse Eisenberg, and Culkin yeah,  Kieran's been nominated and won some awards so far. I wouldn't be surprised.

He's great.  I don't want to talk about the plane that flipped in Toronto. Why not? I don't think there's anything to say. I think a Delta plane flipped.

You could be like everyone on the internet who's Oh, Trump fired a thousand FAA people. said that when there was the plane crash. We don't need any more regulation. SpaceX will regulate all of air travel. Great. Great. Profile you should go read. Monica Lewinsky is profiled in  Cool. Yeah, I'll link to it in the show notes. Excellent. We stan Monica. Yep. I like to hear what she has to say.

Always.  I think you could go back and re watch her TED Talk from a few years ago and still Learn something.   📍   📍  Alright friends, we are done here for this week. Please click subscribe or follow or whatever the little button says so that you don't miss the weekly episode.  you have any questions or comments or requests for the podcast, you can email us anytime at hey at hardcopy.

online.  What a goddamn joy it is being here with you all every week. We're so fricking happy to hang out with you on Spotify or wherever else you listen to your podcasts.  See you next  📍 time.