The Flight Path from Self-Doubt to Self-Belief - Episode 160

Have you ever felt like an impostor in your own dreams, grappling with the fear of not being good enough? I use the story of Alex, a budding student pilot, faced as he embarked on his journey to the skies. On today’s Todd Talks, we unravel the story of how Alex turned his self-doubt into sky-high confidence, and we discuss actionable strategies to help you do the same. Whether you're staring down the runway of a new career or navigating the complex flight paths of personal aspirations, this episode serves as your co-pilot, equipping you with the tools to transform your inner critic into your biggest cheerleader.

Imagine what you could achieve if you treated failures as fuel for learning instead of stop signs to inhibit your progress. This episode isn't just about Alex’s story; it’s about you, the listener, and how you can apply the lessons of resilience and self-compassion in your own life. No guest is needed when we’re dissecting the timeless wisdom of greats like Thomas Edison, whose insights on perseverance illuminate our conversation. So, buckle up and prepare for takeoff as I guide you through the clouds of self-doubt, straight towards the bright horizon of your untapped potential.

Transcript

Todd: 0:17

Welcome to Todd Talks, where I help you design your best life. Not the life that I designed for you, but the life that you desire. To begin today's episode, let me tell you a story. In the mountainous terrain of the dusty Utah north, where the sky stretched endlessly, pierced by tall, rugged peaks, and the sun blazed fiercely overhead during summer, there lived a young pilot named Alex. From the moment he could walk, Alex dreamed of taking to the skies and soaring like a bird on wings of steel. His father, a retired pilot, had regaled him with the tales of adventure and freedom, instilling in him a deep love for aviation. As soon as he could put together the money from odd jobs and working after school, Alex enrolled in flight training, eager to follow in his father's footsteps. But as he struggled through his initial lessons, a seed of doubt took root in his heart. The controls felt foreign in his hands and the vastness of the sky seemed daunting, overwhelming. With each flight lesson, Alex's self-doubt grew stronger. He compared himself to his classmates, who seemed to effortlessly grasp the intricacies of flying. "I'll never be as good as them, he thought to himself, his confidence wavering with each passing day.

Todd: 1:48

Have you ever felt like Alex? Maybe it wasn't flight training, maybe it was school, maybe talking to a girl or a boy, maybe it was dance or sports or life in general. Have you ever felt discouraged? Have you felt discouragement threatened to overwhelm you and make you want to quit Before you even have a chance to get good, let alone become an expert? I know I have. They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in anything. I know from personal experience in the military, in language training, pilot training, sports, etc. That it takes at least six months of doing something new to become comfortable at it, let alone to become great. The question is are you going to let the doubts that plague you in the initial stages prevent you from progressing in an area you truly desire to grow? So, self-doubt is obviously the discussion point for today's episode.

Todd: 2:58

It is a common experience that most people encounter at some point in their lives, I'm sure you included. It can be debilitating. It can hold you back from pursuing your goals and dreams. However, overcoming self-doubt is not an insurmountable challenge, as you will see as I continue Alex's story. Doubt can be overcome and replaced with confidence. With the right mindset and strategies, it's possible to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and unlock your full potential. Self-doubt is truly shackling. You have to understand self-doubt.

Todd: 3:42

Self-doubt stems from fear fear of failure, fear of rejection or fear of not being good enough. Fear is the stepping stone into the dark side of the force. I know I don't make a good yoga, but I'm good at yoga, except I'm not flexible at all. Fear manifests as that nagging voice in your head telling you that you're not capable or worthy. However, it's essential that you recognize that self-doubt is nothing more than a feeling. It's not the reality. It's not your reality. This fear stems from your negative reaction to your experiences and or societal norms.

Todd: 4:36

To continue Alex's story one evening, as Alex sat head down and alone in the cockpit of his plane, the weight of his doubts pressing down upon him, he heard a soft voice from the seat beside him. Are you alright, son? Startled Alex looked up to see his father sitting beside him, a reassuring smile on his weathered face. With a heavy sigh and much chagrin, alex confessed his fears of inadequacy and self-doubt. I want to be a great pilot, like you, he said, his voice trembling with emotion, but I'm afraid I'll never be good enough. His father listened intently to Alex's words, his eyes filled with compassion. I understand how you feel, son. He said his voice gentle yet firm. But let me tell you something you've heard before but probably have forgotten Every great pilot was once a beginner. It's okay to feel uncertain, but you mustn't let that fear hold you back. Alex thought about that for a long moment, raised his chin and, with his father's words ringing in his ears, alex summoned his courage and took to the skies once more.

Todd: 6:01

You see, one of the first steps in overcoming your self-doubt is learning to challenge your negative thoughts Instead of automatically accepting them as truth. Questioned their validity, did Alex realize he was condemning himself as incompetent because he was just a beginner and not already an expert? Ask yourself what evidence do I have to support this thought? Often, you'll find that there's little or no evidence to back up your self-doubt. By challenging these thoughts, you can start to weaken their hold on you. Alex had to realize that everyone starts at the beginning. What negative thoughts do you need to challenge today? Have I had negative thoughts? Absolutely. Have you had negative thoughts? Absolutely, it's a part of life. And if you don't challenge them, like Alex had to challenge his negative thoughts and recognize that we will always be beginners at something and it takes time to improve. Once you can challenge that negative thought, the self-doubt begins to go away.

Todd: 7:25

Self-doubt often thrives in an environment of self-criticism and harsh judgment. Like I said before, we are our worst critics. You say things to yourself about yourself that you would never and I mean never say about someone else. I do it, my wife does it, my kids do it. I mean we are harsh to ourselves and so you are too. Cultivating. Self-compassion is crucial in combating this. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar doubts. But it's okay to make mistakes and that failure is a natural part of the learning process. Each failure is one step closer to learning. Thomas Edison, after trying 10,000 times to create the light bulb, commented to his assistant that he had just found one more way that it didn't work. He didn't internalize the failure. By being gentle with yourself, you can create more, a more supportive inner dialogue.

Todd: 8:48

Another way to build up on and improve your self-doubt is by setting realistic goals. Setting unrealistic goals can fuel self-doubt by setting you up for inevitable failure. Instead, set realistic, achievable goals that align with your abilities and resources. However, there is nothing wrong with a large, somewhat unrealistic goal. Now the way you achieve it is to break it down into smaller, manageable tasks. Manageable goals that align with your abilities and resources, and celebrate your progress along the way. By focusing on achievable, smaller milestones, you can build confidence in momentum over time. Confidence is king when it comes to achieving any large goal. I've said I did an entire podcast episode about breaking down large goals into small bites that you can achieve to build your self-confidence.

Todd: 9:59

Seeking support is another method to help you. It's essential that you recognize that you don't have to overcome self-doubt alone. Reach out to family members, friends, therapists, whoever you need to, for support and encouragement. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your abilities. I've said it time and time again that you become like the five people that you hang around with. If you hang out with five smokers, you'll become the fifth or the sixth. If you hang out with five intellectuals, you'll become the sixth. If you hang out with five millionaires, you'll become the sixth. If you hang out with five deadbeats, you'll become the sixth. You get it.

Todd: 10:51

If you internalize doubts and don't let others in to help, you are setting yourself up for despair. However, if you seek others' support, their words of encouragement will strengthen your confidence, reassure you of your capabilities and help you achieve more. Their perspective can offer valuable insights and help you challenge yourself doubt more effectively. Friends are your greatest asset when you're feeling self-doubt, because they know you. Especially a true friend knows you and will be able to tell you and give you a more accurate picture than the one that you're playing inside your head.

Todd: 11:40

Finally, take action. Ultimately, the most effective way to overcome self-doubt is to take action despite it. The first step in any journey or discovery is the most important. As Sir Isaac Newton stated, an object in motion tends to stay in motion. Taking action puts you in motion and gives you momentum. Start small and gradually work your way up to more significant challenges. Each time you step outside of your comfort zone and succeed, you weaken the grip of self-doubt a little more. Remember courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act in spite of it. Ask any soldier, sailor, cop, doctor, firefighter, first responder they will tell you the same.

Todd: 12:32

Now Alex needed to act, and he did. With each flight, he pushed himself beyond his previous limits and skills. He confronted his fears head-on. As he gained confidence in his new abilities, he began to soar with a newfound sense of purpose and determination. I like these pilot stories that teach a good moral.

Todd: 13:01

As the years passed, alex's skills as a pilot grew stronger and he soon earned a reputation of one of the finest aviators in the region. But, most importantly, he had conquered his greatest challenge of all his own self-doubt. With each flight, alex honored his father's legacy, proving that with perseverance and determination, even the most daunting doubts, challenges or obstacles could be overcome. As he soared through the endlessly clear blue sky, he knew that no dream was too big and no challenge to daunting for those who dared to believe in themselves. One reason I like pilot stories, being a pilot myself, is that pilots on the whole tend to have confidence and tend to have had to overcome self-doubt because of the nature of aviation.

Todd: 13:59

Stories like this tell a really good moral and teach a good lesson about how to overcome self-doubt. You know that. You experience it. I hope you apply these lessons into your life to improve your confidence, improve your mindset and improve your ability to be resilient when it comes to challenges. In conclusion, overcoming self-doubt is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness and perseverance. You are taking a small step forward by listening to this podcast.

Todd: 14:45

I know that if you put into practice the things you learned today, you will be able to overcome your personal demon of self-doubt. By challenging negative thoughts, cultivating self-compassion, setting realistic goals, seeking support and, most importantly, taking action, you can break free from the limitations of self-doubt and unlock your full potential. It won't happen overnight. Embrace the process and remember that self-doubt does not define you. You are capable of more than you know.

Todd: 15:19

Sorry, if you want support to work on your challenges and would like a coach to guide you through the process, I am currently seeking four clients with whom I can work to give you the tools to overcome anxieties and self-doubt so you can achieve the goals you desire. I can be reached via the Calendly link in the show notes or at the email address, also listed there as well TAndrusenmonatcom. That's T-A-N-D-R-E-W-S-E-N, m-o-n-a-t at gmailcom. That's how you can reach me, especially if you're interested in getting support and working with me. This has been Todd Talks. I hope that you have learned that you can overcome your self-doubt, build confidence and, like Alex, soar through the endless beautiful sky, whatever your dream may be. This has been Todd Talks, where I help you design the life that you desire and, as always, have a blessed day.