Death to Life podcast
A podcast that tells the stories of people that used to be one way, and now are completely different, and the thing that happened in between was Jesus.
Death to Life podcast
#238 Danilo: A Filipino Adventist’s Journey from Legalism to Grace
We trace Danilo’s journey from fear and performance to a living trust in Jesus only, moving from legalism to grace and from isolation to a wider family of faith. A child’s question, a fresh reading of Ephesians and Romans, and the courage to post the gospel changed his life.
• growing up Adventist under fear and performance
• panic, shame and identity as “sinner always”
• a child’s question that sent him to grace
• discovering “Jesus only” and assurance
• Romans 6 and freedom from sin, new identity
• posting online, backlash and not being ashamed
• rejecting last generation theology while staying Adventist
• unity beyond denominations and shared Sabbath rest
• counsel to his younger self: don’t run from kindness
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The world doesn't think that the gospel can change your life, but we know that it can. And that's why we want you to hear these stories. Stories of transformation. Stories of freedom. People getting free from sin and healed from sin because of Jesus. This is death to life. Welcome to the Death to Life podcast. My name is Richard Young, and today's episode is with a new friend that I just met online. His name is Danilo. And I saw some of these posts that he was putting up a few months ago. And I was like, what is going on? I was just super blessed. And I texted uh my man Vince, and he's like, Yeah, man, this guy gets it. He's going for it. Uh Jesus changes life. And so we messaged a few times back and forth, and uh we're kind of waiting on the right moment. And today seems to be that moment. So uh this is gonna be a blessing. I think you're gonna be encouraged. Uh buckle up, strap in. This is Danilo. Love y'all, appreciate y'all. All right, Danilo, man. Where are we gonna start your story, man? Tell tell give us a little background uh on who you are and and where you grew up and and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, okay. Um, I'm Danilo from the Philippines, and a background about me, I'm also I I've been I've graduated as pharmacy uh BS pharmacy or yeah, pharmacology, and I didn't pursue that kind of job, and I've I've been in a mission in my heart. Uh, after the graduation, my my heart is in a mission, like doing uh health seminars, Bible studies. The like what they call us here is layman or uh missionaries. So from pharmacy to missionary or pastor's assistant. Yeah, so that's my background, but right now I'm I'm not in in those um areas, but I'm uh venturing or um doing uh uh virtual assistant or editing it especially reels. So yeah, some some of the love reality people are I'm editing those uh some of their reels like pain. So yeah, that's my background, and I'm also an Adventist, um born Adventist. So I'm just a common people here in the Philippines, and I don't know why I'm here, but yeah, God is good. Um yeah, giving me opportunity to share my story.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, man. So how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm 30 years old. Yeah. 30 years old. Yeah, last month I did uh celebrate my birthday. Yeah, I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm I'm 30, I'm yeah, out of the calendar.
SPEAKER_01:So you said you were born an Adventist. Um, some of the stuff that I see you posting about and talking about, and you know, your you interact with you know our love reality community. Uh what give me a little background on on the kind of religion or the kind of God you grew up with and what he was all about and and what you used to believe.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, um I used to believe a God who is more likely my our I mean our the picture of a God that I used to believe before is a picture of an elder or my grandmother, a very religious, I mean like a very religious kind of person. So yeah, that's what I think God who was. Like for example, um when my grandmother don't I mean she wants me to sleep, sleep, or in in our culture it it is called chesta. Like every Filipino kid is compliant or um should sleep after the lunch like an hour or two, so it's a must, no. So you don't have any excuse for that to just have to sleep. But yeah, as a kid, I want to play outside, I want to go outside with my friends. So yeah, I think God is like that. Um because when I I don't want to sleep, my my grandmother uh already have the stick or the right to hit me and discipline me. So I think that's kind of a God in in a in our in our home in my home. So in in church there there is also that kind of um culture and tradition and belief, and most of the time the most um words that struck me is this um if you do this, Jesus will get angry with you. If you don't do this, Jesus will be angry at you, and they'll there will be a curse. So yeah, I think God is like uh a neutral God that um he doesn't like me or he doesn't hate me at all, but he is neutral, like he is looking at my performance, whether I do good or bad, then that's the time he will gonna like me if I'm gonna do my best, or he will gonna hate me if I do my uh bad things. So yeah, I see God like a neutral God who is always um scoring at me, looking at me down here on earth, and waiting for me to sin and punish me. So that's the before. The uh yeah, the God that I was used to believe, the uh the God that um uh that the church or my community used to educate me. Yeah, so that's the kind of God that I'm seeing before.
SPEAKER_01:Would you say that that's a common view of God in the culture that you grew up with?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, it's very very common. Until now, there are so many um, I mean, you to struggles with this kind of view of God that is tyrant, cruel. Yeah, and and that that kind of view or perspective hurts my heart because I've been also abused with this kind of belief. Yeah, so it's still happening here in the Philippines, and I think in the whole world there is a misunderstood um of the character of God.
SPEAKER_01:So, what does this kind of belief about God, what does it produce in somebody? How did it make you act, or were you afraid of him? Um what does this mindset of God produce?
SPEAKER_00:Um, this kind of mindset about God, it uh excuse me. Yeah, um this kind of mindset about God, like he is cruel, he is tyrant, he's waiting us to to sin and punish us. It's uh in my in my experience, I always watch um like Roman or Greek mythology, like there is a god, a picture of Zeus, who is looking down, and when the people here on the land don't offer sacrifice, don't offer um their fruits or their labor, and then Zeus will finally um throw his um thunder and punish those people, yeah. And that is that picture when I was a child, so I see God as kind of powerful but not loving. So yeah, I I used to um have I'm afraid of my father here on earth. So how much more if that kind of father who is powerful enough to just like a snap, then I'm dead. So yeah, it it creates a great fear, especially I know that most of the time as a kid or as a teenager, as a youth, most of the time I believe that my own identity starts as a retin sinner because most of the time we hear on the sermon and the lectures, and they they talk about that the the youth today, uh all they do is to sin, they are they are not doing the good things or the right things in the in the side of God. So, yeah. So, with that mindset or picture of God that is always angry, always looking down on us and finding fault. Um our heart, especially my heart, is not at ease or it's in panic. Like I'm asking questions every day. I did my best or I did um something wrong, or yeah, it's a constant um consciousness of how um sinful I am, so it's on the loop, like there's no solution, and it's torturing me. Like I question myself every day or every night, am I safe or not? What should I do to be saved? Yeah, so it's it's kind of um hopeless thinking that there's no solution on that kind of problem that I have experienced. So yeah, uh that kind of version of God, I mean, um misunderstood character of God, um, makes a human heart in panic, stress, and yeah, hopeless. Fear. Yeah, fear, yeah, that's the word fear.
SPEAKER_01:So how was your life going with this? As you thought about it this god this way, you say you're 30. Um I'm imagining that for the largest percentage of your life, this is what you believed. Where you you didn't have any peace, or what was what was your experience like?
SPEAKER_00:Um, I feel like yeah, I've encountered the real picture and the beauty of God when I was like 25 years old. So yeah, it's been a large amount of my life that I am struggling with this kind of um picture of God or the misunderstood picture of God. Yeah, before I'll always live like I'm on transaction now. Yeah, I I've always asked him every day, Lord, what should I do? What what sin uh I must be aware so that I cannot do this, what um loss, or just like when I when I open the Bible, when I open um to study, I'm asking myself to find in the scripture what what should not I do or what should a Christian should do. So that's the the motivation like for the whole year of those years when I didn't understand who really God is. So that's kind of um tiring, stressed, and and and feeling alone because I have no one to talk to about this kind of issue because um I think I don't know why it's not talk about uh in in in church, but because in in our church community, uh people there or souls there or family there expect um for you to be that kind of um I mean spiritually mature. Even though when you go home, you you're still questioning about your identity, about the struggles you're dealing with as a youth, like you um you are always branded as sinner, but when it comes to external, they they expect you to be perfect, so there is no um reality there, there is no um genuinity or transparency, so yeah, it's it's really a struggle for us youth to suffer and to think that God is this kind of God that um constantly looking for your faults and your sins, and only wants you to um do your best or your performance so that um it will please him. So when he is pleased, then you have this um peace in your heart. So based on your performance. But the reality is after the day, or you cannot sustain that kind of um struggling. You are perfect this week, or I mean this day, but but one small scene, and then your identity is um is lost again because of your performance based on your performance. So, yeah, that's the the real um struggle I've been struggling with in those days back in my 20s.
SPEAKER_01:So you didn't see a lot of victory, you felt like a lot of um just trying and failure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. It's on the loop, like if I work hard, if I study and have devotion early in the morning, and I have this list that I should not and should do, and follow this and follow that, but in in the middle of the day or after the devotion, you come and see yourself that you cannot do those things, you cannot perfect those things that you have written, and yeah, it it disappoints you and think that uh yeah, my identity is this. I'm a I'm a sinner always, and I will be sinner forever. So it's on the look, like questioning. I did everything that the um I mean the advice that gave to me that I should pray early in the morning, I should read read my Bible, I should sing, I should um think about think about him every day, what even um what should I eat, what should I drink. But at the end of the day, um it seems like it's the opposite thing. What's happening in my life is the opposite thing. When I try to do what is right, the the result is like the opposite, the wrong way.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So what happened when you were 25? How did you start to see something different? What happened?
SPEAKER_00:Um there was in my 25th, 25th year, there was a child, a small little child, who asked me a simple question of like who Jesus is. And I I'm struck and I I I am in silence for like 30 seconds, and I don't know what exactly should I answer to the kid. Because most of those years, all I know is the Ten Commandments, the prophecy, 2300 days, the millennium, the state of the dead. Like and where is Jesus there? Who Jesus who is Jesus there in those in those beliefs and doctrines? Yeah, it's it humbles me though that question that the the question of the kid humbles my heart. Yeah, and I and yeah, when I remember there is this um tears in my eyes, and I go to the CR and I pray, Lord, I'm I'm I'm sorry I didn't know you for for quite a lot of time. But this kid, I don't know if God sending him to tell me that hey, I want you to know me through this question. Who is Jesus? So that that day I started not to listen into a sermon like do this or do that, but I tried to stop looking for information that is already prepared, like the PowerPoints, the sermons, I I throw them away and then and then I started to read my my Bible. And that evening I encountered the text in Ephesians, it says for by grace. And for 20 years in in Adventism, I said Adventist, I I didn't really understand the word grace. Yeah, so it's it struck me in that grace, that is what Jesus did to me and to us and to all of us. So that's that's struck my heart that night. I've heard it so many times, I heard though that verse so many times, but yeah, but no one tells or no one educate or no one teach us about the grace. Because most of the time when we say grace, when when uh someone says grace, it refers to another denomination or religion. So yeah, it's it's it's a very foreign word, and I don't know if if you can agree with me, but that word, that grace, the word grace, in my church community, they are allergic to the word grace, and I don't know why. So I start digging and start start searching, but at first um I don't believe immediately that that grace because it is too good to be true, but right now it is too good and too true. So that is the turning point in my life that I started to um want to know who Jesus is because of that kid who asked me question who Jesus is, and I don't really have concrete or just a sentence of answer, and yeah, it silenced me, and I asked myself in private, and that's the start when I hunger for of who Jesus is.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I want to take a real quick break from this episode. I love Danilo's story, I love his heart. This message is getting to the Philippines through people like you who donate to Love Reality. Um You know we do the Bible studies, we know you know we do internet church, um, the podcast, everything is going towards uh being able to keep getting this message out there. Um and so we would love you to be a part of that. Go to love reality.org slash give and let's keep this thing going forward. Uh let's get back to the episode. So then what did you start finding out about Jesus besides this grace thing? You're you're understanding, oh, but for by grace I've been saved through faith. This is not in my own works, right? What kept unfolding and started unfolding about who Jesus is?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Um, after those um many years, I I've stuck with that question, and I don't really have the answers, but there's one thing, one idea that uh always going back in my mind, and and it is just two words. It is Jesus only. Excuse me. Yeah, and that word changed me that the word Jesus only um changed me because when I read I in um in Galatians, um Paul is pointing out that um the gospel or the good news is just this this kind of formula formula Jesus plus nothing. Yeah. So I'm curious about this, and I've studied about it, and I discovered that in the first place he did everything for us, he he did everything without our merit or without our contribution, without our help. So I'm I'm struck and also I'm triggered and I'm compelled. At the first place, I didn't um believe that kind of um Jesus who did everything for us, no we have no contribution, we have no part because um back when I was a kid until I grew, I always believed that I do have a part in salvation, and not just I only uh not just that I do have a part, I have also an obligation to keep my salvation. So this kind of idea and theology uh that Paul's talking about in Galatian that um that the formula is Jesus plus nothing, um um gives me hope, gives me uh a new life, give gives me a new perspective about life, and yeah, so that's why um I knew how to answer who Jesus is because of this um um word, Jesus only. So when somebody asks me who what who Jesus is, I mean Jesus is my salvation, Jesus is the one who did everything for me. I don't have anything to add, and yeah, and that's the the transformation, and that's the the moment when um I started to deconstruct um beliefs before um the before that I have learned that is not that biblical or that's not found in in the Bible.
SPEAKER_01:So when did you I I see this post that you had back in April? I'm not sure if this is the one that I saw first, um, or the one that I shared around. It's the uh I was a good Adventist, but I didn't know Jesus. Uh was that one of the first posts you made, or what was one of the first like when did you start like, oh, I want to I want to tell the world about this and I'm gonna use Facebook to do it?
SPEAKER_00:When did you um yeah, the first um uh inspiration that I had that I want to share the Gaspell is when Justin Co is starting his YouTube channel, that Christian Blagger. Yeah, yeah, I've been inspired that for the first time. I think I found a sound and good and relatable um Christian content, especially that he is uh an Adventist. So it's it it gives me a spark that hey I could create also content, but yeah, it's been a learning part, but I didn't start a YouTube channel, I didn't start anything yet until the uh I mean the love reality starts to grow doing in internet church with Jonathan Leonardo and with you guys, Rich. Uh yeah, I've been also watching you in Instagram first, like a couple years ago, and yeah, that sparks me to share the gospel, to share the good, good, the good, the good news, the the grace, and yeah, at at first I'm I'm afraid I'm I do have setbacks because there is a lot of negative I mean branding about this kind that this true gospel. Yeah, when I started posting um freedom from sin, there is backlash, there is telling me that hey, that is that that kind of doctrine is dangerous, it is offshoot, it is not from our denomination. Yeah, and at first I think I want to go to a cave and never bring myself again in public because I am afraid to to brand it as offshoot. Yeah, but but I didn't stop and I have read we have read me and my wife starting to reading the book of Romans in the first chapter Paul says there, for I am not ashamed of the Gaspel. So that that verse spark or give us fuel that hey, we should not also be ashamed of the Gaspel. We should um share it because I believe I'm not the only one, I'm not the um youth who suffers suffers from church hurt, spiritual torture or abuse, suffered from headship theology, from um the youth are kept silenced by the elders or by the members of the church and not being heard of what they are truly care about or what they're what critical issues they want to talk about. Yeah, there's a lot of Filipino, I think, here in my country and here in my place that suffers um spiritual torture with its kind of belief. So that's that's why my heart um is uh don't stop, or there is this desire and passion to share the good news, the freedom from sin, the identity, our identity in Christ, and the rest, especially the rest that we have in Jesus. Yeah, so I'm trying to build my own social media, but yeah, thank thanks to Justin Ku for helping me also and other um Love Reality people who keep um encouraging me. Hey, uh, we got your back. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What was the first post that you made that went kind of viral? Do you remember what it was?
SPEAKER_00:Um that one, the that I was a born Christian, that the one you saw. That is the first, I think, reach um 50,000 views. I don't know it's it's if that's viral, but for me, um yeah, that's uh the one that's the most viewed um content.
SPEAKER_01:So after sending that one, you said there was backlash or people s calling you an offshoot. Um did people say that to you, or did people just kind of talk about you behind your back?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they're talking behind my back, but There are some friends who uh telling me or have this concern hey, what happened to you? Why are you posting like this? Are you out of the ad uh Adventism um religion? Or are you an offshoot? Or what is happening to you? Are you but the worst case scenario that I've heard that I'm an addict? I don't know why. An addict what? Uh addict, drug addict.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, people called you a drug a drug addict.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've heard um some um stories that hey, um, I think Danilo is uh a drug addict right now because he's going out our belief, our doctrine as an Adventist. But yeah, I just left and yeah, I became an addict in freedom in my identity in Christ. Yeah, so if they say that I'm an addict, uh somehow it's true, but not under drug, but to Jesus. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Do you do you believe do you you still consider yourself an Adventist, right? So like when someone says, Are you not an Adventist, how do you respond?
SPEAKER_00:Um, yeah, I'm I still consider myself as an Adventist. Um but uh I will try to explain to them that there are versions of Adventism, like the one that I hate the most is LGT, the last generation theology. It is from M. L. Andreasen back in their days. Um his influence um rig or destroy our mainstream Adventism. So there is two um this two-weight um Adventism. Uh I will say to them that I am not this Adventist who believes that I do have part in my own salvation that I should overcome evil on my own, or I will save my myself, or I or there there is a part of me that I could keep my salvation. So I'm not this kind of Adventist, but I'm this kind of Adventist that knows what Jesus already did, and I am experiencing it right now, and my identity is in him. I am freed from sin and I don't want to sin, I have no relationship to sin, I've died to sin. Yeah, and I'm enjoying my character and my identity in Christ. So this kind of Adventism is I'm on the side. So yeah, so that's what I explained to them. No, not uh not the old version of Adventism that yeah, I think it's abusive, it's torturing, and it's confusing, and yeah, so that's what I explained to them.
SPEAKER_01:So when you started learning about Jesus and then Jesus only, when did you come across Romans 6 and freedom from sin?
SPEAKER_00:Um when did I come across it happened a couple years ago when um Justin Ku and Jonathan Leonardo start their um YouTube channel or I mean the the segment called The Move, yeah, yeah. So uh I watch them and then I go to my own study and read back the romance, and yeah, I really appreciate uh that that segment or that series, it made me uh know my identity in Christ, and what happened when I got baptized, what happened on the cross happened also to me, what happened to Christ happened to me. So, yeah, that's that time when I did study, or we did study there uh the book of Romans.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. So as you're walking in this, what has been the latest thing that is blowing your mind about God? What's this thing that God has revealed to you that oh, this is better than I thought it was?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, um the um greatest revelation that I am experiencing right now is um before I used to believe that other religion, other denomination is um lost, is a tribe, or it is an enemy to uh to Adventism. But when Jesus allowed me to um communicate with them, um do life with them, and I am amazed that they also understand their identity in Christ, that they are freed from sin, that um Jesus only is um their hope, not their actions, not their performance, and they also um observe Sabbath. I mean they are resting on Sabbath and they're fellowshipping uh every day, and they're studying the word of God like it's kind of a gold, it's kind of a treasure that I don't experience before with my own denomination. Um, yeah, this the revelation that Christ is the head, and the body of Christ is so I mean is so vast and great right now, and the Holy Spirit is working, and yeah, I'm happy to have this fellowship um um uh in my life with them with outside my uh um religio uh religious affiliation. So I'm enjoying this kind of um worship and fellowship, but yeah, I'm but I still get backlash and I um I mean uh the uh asking me what what religious affiliation I belong, but I believe we are the body of Christ as Christ revealed to us, and we should not put some bridges, I mean some walls, but rather put some bridges that we can connect and we can agree on.
SPEAKER_01:That's beautiful, man. So as you're moving forward, do you think there's gonna be anything that can convince you that this isn't true, or you're just moving forward like this, this is what the Bible says, Jesus is Lord. Like, how do you feel about moving forward in the future?
SPEAKER_00:Uh yeah, I I used to ask that myself, that because most of the time my close friends, even my close friends, tell me that maybe that's your own understanding, maybe that's not um God leading you, that maybe that's just a more on feelings, not on scripture, not on principle. But yeah, I'm I'm not gonna I uh I'm not I'm not I'm not going to turn away and go back to where I came from, but yeah, I've encountered who Jesus is. And there's no other proof that can destroy that. There's no other theological or doctrinal or belief that can um turn my back away from him. I've already and I've been experiencing him for almost five years. Yeah, it's not that kind of magic, magical feelings, lovely episodes of my life. But yeah, I love I just love to see that I am not alone, that we are not alone, that Jesus is always and yeah, he's he's there, he is there in in all kind uh events of my life. So yeah, I don't believe this is a fraud, this is a just a feelings, but yeah, I've I've met him personally, so there's nothing there's no one can say that this is not true because I met him in person.
SPEAKER_01:So if you could go back and talk to old Danilo and and uh minister to him when you know what whatever time period when you were thinking about God as a tyrant or a cruel taskmaster, what would you minister to old Danilo?
SPEAKER_00:Um don't run, don't run from him. You know that he is good already, you know that he is working in your life, always reaching to you. Don't run that for from that goodness, from that kindness. I know that you have understand his goodness, that you have seen his goodness in your life, but don't run from it, embrace it, accept it, and you will feel the very beautiful thing in your life if you don't run from his goodness, if you don't run from his love, if you don't run from his searching, yeah. So I think that's the the message because yeah, back before I already know that he's searching me, that is um um talking to me, that is showing his kindness to me, his goodness to me, but I don't believe it. Instead, I ran as far as I could because I I thought that I I didn't deserve it, I thought that I have to earn it, I I have to to please him, but yeah, I am I am amazed that he doesn't require anything for me just to embrace him that moment, just to be in his arms at rest. So, yeah, my message to my older Nilo, don't run and embrace him.
SPEAKER_01:Bro, you've been a blessing to us. Your your post gets sent around, and everybody just loves it and they see it and they're encouraged by it. And so thank you for for being for being courageous and for not backing down and for loving people. And we see your good works and we glorify our Father in heaven. So thank you, man, and thank you for sharing your story.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, thank you for this opportunity, also, and yeah, I'm still amazed why God sent me. So here I am. Yeah, thank you so much, Rich.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely, my friend