S3 Ep9 SILENT NIGHT: Relishing 'the Hush'

These are the days in between. The liminal space that hovers beyond the festivities and the before the arrival of a fresh New Year. I call this time 'the Hush', when the world slows and some kind of portal opens up. This episode is all about making the most of this precious time and it includes:

• Ideas for different ways to spend these days in between
• A beautiful winter visualisation to help you open to whatever might be calling you
• A full moon bathing ritual
• A comforting recipe
• Our nature corner
• Some get ahead tips for NEXT Christmas (you’ll be glad of them, I promise)
• PLUS A self-care giveaway (enter on my Instagram @bethkempton)

With inspiration from: @gill.meller @slowhomepod @BrookeMcAlary, Elizabeth Jenner, Dakota Hills and Sierra Brashear @superbeamix.

Handy links:

·      Full moon calendar 

·      Last chance to join my Winter Writing Sanctuary (FREE) Starts December 28!

This week’s giveaway

·      Chance to win some lovely self-care goodies and a personalized signed copy of my book Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year over on @bethkempton on Instagram  

Ingredients for Gill Meller's Homity Potatoes recipe:

(Serves 4 or more) You will need:

8 baking potatoes

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

15g (5 ½ oz) butter

2 leeks, sliced into rounds

2 onions, halved and sliced

1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard

100g (3 ½ oz) mature cheddar, finely grated

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Featured in this episode:

·      Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (Piatkus)

·      What to look for in Winter by Elizabeth Jenner (Ladybird)

·      Moon Bath: Bathing rituals and recipes for relaxation and vitality by Dakota Hills and Sierra Brashear

·      Outside: Recipes for a wilder way of eating by Gill Meller

·      Care: The radical art of taking time by Brooke McAlary

Enjoy!
Beth Xx

You can find all the show notes here: https://bethkempton.com/ccpodcast-shownotes/ 

Transcript

These are the days in between. The liminal space that hovers beyond the festivities and the before the arrival of a fresh New Year. A time of long walks, hot coffees, languid lounging with leftover chocolates, adding birthday dates to the new diary, telephone catch-ups, old memories, new plans, making time, telling stories, everything on pause. And today, a wedding.

-       From my journal, December 2016

Welcome to the Calm Christmas Podcast, Season 3 Episode 9, Silent Night: Relishing ‘The Hush’. I am your host Beth Kempton, and for many years now, I have sensed something very special about these precious days between Christmas and New Year. It’s as if some kind of portal opens up. January will be here before we know it, but until then let’s stretch these days as wide open as we can, and meander for a while, giving our minds and hearts a chance to assimilate and process all that’s happened over the past twelve months. 

The hard work of Christmas is over for another year. There are no more cards to write or presents to wrap. New Year’s Eve is still a few days away, and many people are still off work. 

If you have the luxury of some time off, you can eat leftovers – or chocolate - for breakfast. You can leave emails unanswered and spend hours doing jigsaws or building the models that little ones got for Christmas. You can go for a long walk through muddy fields, then sit in a country pub all evening telling stories. You can go to bed early, or stay up late and sleep in till noon. You can answer the door at three in the afternoon in your onesie. You can spend all day in the kitchen, cooking up vats of warming soup and hearty casseroles, allowing your mind to wander as you stir slowly. You can take a stroll by the sea and drink a flask of coffee on an empty beach. You can clean your house from top to bottom or ignore the mess. You can potter in your garden, meditating on the winter silhouettes. Or you can dream and scheme, plot and plan, for the year ahead. 

The Hush – or ’Twixtmas, as some people call it – is a very precious time. We face so much change in the course of an average year, in the wider world and in our own lives. We endure a barrage of loud headlines, political turmoil, social injustice, work deadlines, hirings and firings, career shifts, births, marriages, deaths and break-ups, house moves and fluctuating friendship dynamics. It’s one thing after another, all coming at us with barely a moment to process any of it, and this year has had as much of all of it as any of them have. It’s crucial to give ourselves time and space to wind down, switch off and relax. 

This moment is that fleeting pause when time bends and magic hovers between the bookends of the season. ‘We must …’ and ‘We should …’ are abandoned in favour of ‘Shall we …?’ and ‘We could …’ Spontaneity and softness become the order of the day. 

This is a precious time to breathe deeply, savour time with loved ones or alone, feel the world slowing just for a while. It’s a time for reflection and releasing, meandering and dreaming. 

In my book Calm Christmas I offered lots of suggestions for this time of the year. One of my favourites is to spend a day in nature - There is a particular stillness in nature at the end of December – a stripped-back beauty that may seem bleak but actually conceals the first stirrings of new life. It can be deeply comforting to contemplate the circle of life and be reminded of the value of this pause for nurturing fresh growth in the spring. I’ll come to our nature corner a bit later on today.

Another great thing to do is a ‘sort my life out’ day. I have done this since my early twenties, taking a full day near the end of each year to get on top of all the admin that gets in the way of everything else. It usually involves reams of paper spread all over the floor, endless cups of tea and some leftover Christmas cake, a fair few sighs, some boring paperwork and, ultimately, a tremendous sense of accomplishment knowing I am going into the new year all fresh and ready, not carrying a pile of admin with me. There’s something about clearing all that out which makes it easier for me to then dream and plan for the year ahead, which is what we will be doing in Episode 10, coming up later this week.

A helpful by-product of this process is that you will often find ways to save money – or claim some back – which is always a blessing after Christmas.

The Hush is a great time to:

·      pay any outstanding bills

·      check all direct debits and standing orders to ensure you aren’t paying for a service you no longer receive

·      claim refunds on unwanted gifts

·      draft a budget for the following year

·      organise files and papers, ensure important documents are up to date and check you are getting the best deals on your phone, energy, home insurance, etc.

·      back up photos, videos and other files

·      add birthdays and anniversaries to your new diary

·      write thank-you cards and a gratitude list.

Another thing to try is a digital detox day, or perhaps a creative day – feel free to come and join me for my Winter Writing Sanctuary if you like. It’ll set you off into a lovely writing habit as new year approaches. There’s a link to join in the show notes or you can go to dowhatyouloveforlife.com and scroll down to the Winter Writing Sanctuary. It begins on December 28 and it’s free. 

Another idea if you have others in your home, it to have a no rules, everyone does their own thing day. 

In my house we have decided that we are going to have some chill time for a few days, then have a fun family day out with cousins and so on, and then while the children are playing with their new things, we are going to have a huge clearout, including of the attic, so we enter the new year clear and fresh. Most of the decorations will go away this week, but most of the fairy lights remain. Apparently there is a tradition of leaving some lights up until Candlemas on February 2, although last year I left some up around the fireplace and around the mantlepiece above the stove in the kitchen and it was lovely, so I think I’ll do it again.

I wonder what might feel good for you this year?

If you want to spend some relaxed time together with others, here are a few ideas:

·      Meet up with friends at a local coffee shop and take a pack of cards or a board game

·      Make popcorn and watch old movies.

·      Build a den out of the kitchen furniture, even if you don’t have any children in your house (I dare you)

·      Fly kites on the beach, or go for a swim

·      Visit a stately home, a farm or a beautiful garden. 

·      Drop a coin on a map and go there. 

·      Take blankets outside and watch the moon and stars.

·      Invite the neighbours round to drink the last of the mulled wine.

·      Reflect on Christmas together, and discuss what you might do differently next year. 

Which brings me to our Get Ahead tips which are taking a slightly different turn this week, because we are thinking about NEXT Christmas. I know, I know, we only just finished this one, but believe me it is the best time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and make some notes to help you next year. Here are a few questions to journal from, or to prompt conversations with those you shared Christmas with:

• Which single moment did you enjoy most this Christmas? 

• Which aspect of the preparations did you enjoy most? And which was your least favourite?

• What was especially stressful? Tiring? Fun? Magical? Joyful?

• What felt like a waste of time, energy or money?  

• Which of your efforts were really appreciated?

• Whose presence was challenging? Who was a delight?

• If you made any changes to Christmas this year compared to previous years, how did they work out, for you and others?

• What did you do for yourself over Christmas?

• What would you like to do differently next year?

As I always say, where possible . . . 

•   Stay away from shopping malls and online sales. 

•   Stay out of your inbox. 

•   Avoid mindless scrolling on social media. 

•   Keep your distance from loud, aggressive people. 

•   Go easy on alcohol and sugar. 

•   Avoid making too many plans: light and loose is the theme of the day. 

•   Avoid travelling to busy places if possible. If you must, take earphones and a good book

Do all of those things and you’ll get a deeper sense of hovering here in this in-between time, before the old year has left and the new one has moved in.

As I mentioned we are going to do a deep dive into reflection and planning in the next episode but if you have time and a fresh notebook now, why not take a moment today to ask yourself the following six questions - if you like pause the podcast and write, then come back for the next question:

•               How would you sum up this past year in three words?

•               How did you grow, change, or have change thrust upon you this past year?

•               What particular synchronicities did you notice? 

•               Where did you bring light to the darkness for someone? 

•               What unexpected blessings did the year bring you?

•               What would you like to release, or leave behind as you move towards the new year? 

Be sure to check back later in the week for Episode 10, WINTERSONG: Gratitude + reflection, which will be released on December 30.

In the meantime, I would like to offer you a very special visualisation, to help you open to what might be calling to you. There is something about this liminal time, where the noise of the world is hushed a little, which sometimes makes it possible to hear our inner whispers a little more clearly. 

A couple of years ago I shared this winter visualisation here on the podcast and I have had so many emails and DMs asking where people can find it, I thought I’d share it again. It is called A Walk in the Forest, and it goes without saying that you should of course not do this if you are driving while listening.

Have your notebook and pen nearby so you can write afterwards, capturing whatever wants to spill out.

Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for the next ten minutes or so. Come into a comfy seated position, either sitting tall on a chair with your feet flat on the floor, or cross legged on the floor, perhaps sitting on a cushion or prop to lift your hips above the knees. This is going to help you relax the hips and lengthen the spine, taking any strain off the lower back. Close your eyes or lower your gaze, and let your hands rest in your lap, palms open and facing upwards.

Find length up through the spine, engage your belly, and feel your spine as a channel of energy, allowing that energy to flow up and down your body.

Allow your shoulders to relax down, and soften your face, your jaw, your brow, behind your ears.

Relax your arms, relax your hands, relax your legs, relax your feet, relax anywhere in your body you are feeling tension. Breathe into that place and let that tension melt away.

Bring your attention to your breath, observing the inhale and the exhale. Notice the rhythm, inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. A gentle steady rhythm inviting you to arrive here fully in this moment.

[PAUSE]

Today I invite you to take a walk in a beautiful snowy forest. 

You woke early this winter morning, in a cabin you have rented for the weekend. You made a simple breakfast while it was still dark, got dressed in several layers, filled a flask with a hot drink and put it in your rucksack along with a few other supplies. You put on your coat, scarf, gloves, hat, warm socks and boots, and headed out of the door for a long hike. A fresh batch of snow had fallen in the night, and you savoured the crunch beneath your feet as you walked. The only other footprints were those of small birds, and perhaps a fox. The air was clear, and your heart was happy as you soaked in the beauty of this place.

After walking through the forest for three hours you have stopped here, by this fallen tree. The sky is blue and the sun is out but there is a chill in the air. It’s time for a hot drink and a snack. You pull a small blanket out of your rucksack, lay it over the tree trunk, and sit down.

 As you are pouring your drink from the flask, a robin flies down and perches nearby, head at an angle, watching you. You notice his tiny beak, and his red chest, and the way his head twitches from time to time. He seems familiar. 

And then you remember what a friend told you about robins last winter, a friend who believed in animal symbolism. Apparently the appearance of a robin means that the correct path has been shown to you, and you can make changes in your life with joy, laughter and a song in your heart. A visit from a robin is a reminder to let go of personal drama, and exercise compassion and patience, allowing you to enter a new beginning with faith and trust and hope.

All the while, as you are thinking about this, the robin is watching. And then he starts to hop towards you, and comes and perches right next to you, sharing your blanket. Continue to breathe gently, so as not to disturb him, and allow his message to enter your heart.

[PAUSE]

And then, the robin gives you one last glance, and flies away. You pack up your things, and get walking again. You are in no hurry as you contemplate what just happened, and you take time to notice the colours on the trees, the light and shadows on the forest floor and all the woodland life around you. 

You take a deep breath to inhale the scent of the forest and notice a hint of woodsmoke. You look up to see where it is coming from, but cannot see anything other than the path ahead of you, so you keep walking. The scent is getting stronger as you walk. The path turns a corner and opens out into a small clearing, where you see a tiny cottage, as if from a storybook, with smoke winding up from the chimney. 

You feel drawn to the cottage, and as you walk towards it, you take in every detail. 

The shape of the small building, the windows, the roof, the old door. 

You can’t help but go up to that door. Something tells you this place is friendly, and you are safe here.

Standing in front of the door now, you notice the unusual shape of the door knocker. You raise your hand up and knock, three times, a little quietly.

No answer. You knock again, three times, louder this time.

And then you hear a voice. A familiar voice. “Come in” the voice says.

The door isn’t locked. You enter the cottage, through a small flagstone hallway and into a homely room with a woodburner, small sofa, and a table with two wooden chairs. There is someone sat in one of those chairs with their back to you. “I was wondering when you’d come,” they say. You can sense the smile in their voice. As they slowly turn around, you realise who it is. Just be here for a moment and allow the person to reveal themselves to you. 

[PAUSE]

You have come here to have an important conversation. This is your moment. There is either something you need to say, or something you need to hear. Stay here for a while, and allow the conversation to happen.

[LONG PAUSE]

This person, and this conversation is offering you an important clue to something in your life. Only you know what the message means. Now it’s time to thank the person in the cottage, and take your leave.

You bid them farewell, go back through the flagstone hallway, out the door, and back across the clearing towards the forest. As you reflect on what just happened, a small bird flies past you, and lands on a branch up ahead. It’s the robin again, and he is at the opening of a small path you hadn’t noticed before. Something tells you that path is a shortcut back to your cabin, so you follow it, and find your way home. 

[PAUSE]

When you are ready, slowly open your eyes and come back. 

And breathe… then pause the podcast and write in your notebook anything that wants to be written.

I hope you enjoyed that. And now it is time for our nature corner.

If you can, why not go for a walk by the sea today and look out for drift seeds, carried by the ocean from lands far away. According to What to look for in Winter by Elizabeth Jenner (Ladybird) “some tropical trees and plants produce large, hard seeds that float. The seeds fall from pods into nearby water sources, and some find their way to the sea. They can then travel across the oceans and end up on much colder shores.” The seeds from the monkey ladder plant found in Central America is a kind of bean called a “sea heart” because of its shape. Apparently sea hearts discovered off the coast of Ireland were placed under pillows to ward off supernatural forces. 

And if you can’t get to the sea, spend some time with water in any form this week. A walk in the rain, by the river, a dip in a lake, or just a hot bath.

Speaking of which, I’d like to share a beautiful bathing ritual with you.

This week is the night of the Cold Moon, the full moon of December. names include the Full Long Night’s Moon and the Oak Moon. It is a symbol of long-lasting strength.  

According to Dakota Hills and Sierra Brashear in their beautiful book Moon Bath, the winter full moon is a moon for attracting abundance. They say,

“The bright light of the Full Moon is a lighthouse on our journey through the long, dark nights of winter. The fire element is present as the moon illuminates the night sky, connecting us to our internal flame, and giving rise to our fundamental needs and unique desires. In this we have an opportunity to transform our relationship with money  - a resource for living a full and generous life. With fire burning bright within you as well as in the cosmos, now is the perfect time to focus on burning through any negative beliefs about money, and to attract more abundance into your life. Whether it’s for educating yourself, supporting important causes, or nurturing the ones you love, a little extra money gives you more freedom to pursue your passions.”

They go on to share a beautiful moon bath ritual,

“Self-massage with warm oil is perhaps one of the most nourishing and grounding ways we can honour our bodies and minds… The practice of oil massage lubricates the joints, softens the skin, improves digestion, relaxes the nervous system, and supports us to be in awakened presence. Traditionally oil massage is done before bathing and on an empty stomach ,as this is best for detoxification. We invite you to try it this way.

Before your bath, warm approximately 1oz of sunflower oil by pouring it into a glass jar and placing it in 2oz of boiling water for 5 minutes. You may add a drop of ginger essential oil if you’d like a little extra heat. Once the oil is warmed, anoint yourself head to toe in a light layer. After you are fully covered, massage your joints in circular motions and use long strokes on your limbs to soothe your skin and muscles, always moving the blood toward your heart. Take this opportunity to adore every curve and line of your body with loving touch. Allow your skin to fully absorb the oil before stepping into your warm bath (carefully!) Be sure to stay cozy and warm, not allowing yourself to get chilled any time during your ritual. Consider practicing this ritual in the morning to set yourself up for a warm and activated day.” 

You can follow it up with some centering breaths, a visualisation of a gentle flame burning within you, and a body scan to “feel the warmth your heart center generates flowing through your being.”

A gorgeous warm bath in the morning, sounds blissful. I am definitely trying that. Perhaps followed up with some writing afterwards. 

Those moon names I shared before – the cold moon, the oak moon, the full long night moon, the moon before Yule - all sound like writing inspiration to me – perhaps you will take one of them as a spark today. Otherwise, why not try this, today’s writing exercise. 

Writing exercise

The full moon is a time for releasing and negativity and getting clear on our intentions. This is just perfect for this transitional time between Christmas and New Year, as one year gives way to the next. So why not write a poem of release, or a poem of intention for a new year. Even better, sit beneath the full moon as you write. 

Feel free to come and share it with me over on Instagram @bethkempton. I’d love to read it.

Recipe

Today’s recipe is a lovely one from chef Gill Meller, who lives and works here in Devon. It is Homity Baked Potatoes, from his stunning book Outside. Gill says,

“Everyone loves baking potatoes in the embers of a fire, especially kids. It’s exciting for them to get involved. Give them a stick, so they can prod and poke at the hot coals and roll their potatoes over when they need turning. While the spuds are cooking, get them to prepare the homity onions and leeks. It’s simple cooking, but they’ll learn so much from helping you.”

For four people you will need:

8 baking potatoes

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

150g (5 ½ oz) butter

2 leeks, sliced into rounds

2 onions, halved and sliced

1 tablespoon wholegrain mustard

100g (3 ½ oz) mature cheddar, finely grated

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

You’ll need a big fire going for this recipe. Let the wood and charcoal burn back, so you have a broad bed of chunky embers. Make sure the coals aren’t too fierce otherwise the potatoes won’t cook evenly.

Give the potatoes a scrub, but only if they need it. Rub them all with extra-virgin olive oil and sprinkle them generously with salt and pepper. Wrap each potato in a double layer of foil. Use a pair of tongs to clear some potato-shaped hollows in the embers and nestle the spuds down into these gaps. Make sure they have a significant amount of heat surrounding them. You don’t need to cover them as such, just pile up the embers around their sides. Turn the potatoes every 10-15 minutes using your tongs, until they feel soft – about 1 hour.

Meanwhile, set a large pot over the fire and add one third of the butter. When it’s bubbling away, add the leeks and onions and season with some salt and pepper. Sizzle them, stirring regularly until they are soft and they smell lovely and sweet.

Unwrap the soft potatoes and cut them in half. Use a spoon to scoop out the middle of the flesh into the pot with the leeks and onions. Leave enough potato in the skins so as not to tear them. Add the remaining butter, the mustard, half the cheddar and season with some salt and pepper. Mix everything together. You can leave it all quite chunky.

Pile the homity potato mix back into the jacket halves and scatter over the remaining cheese. Eat hot.

I tell you what, even if the weather stops us building a fire this week, I am making these. Delicious.

Giveaway

FESTIVE GIVEAWAY! This week I am giving away a copy of the lovely book Care by @BrookeMcAlary (host of the @slowhomepod) along with a personalized, signed copy of my book Wabi Sabi: Japanese wisdom for a perfectly imperfect life. You can enter on Instagram @bethkempton if you get there before the giveaway deadline. 

Here’s a suggestion from Care (p.228) for this week:

“Set aside a few minutes and dedicate the time to the practice of doing nothing. Ideally, you’ll do this every day, but since you’re just starting out, find whatever time you can and go from there… Turn your phone off… take a moment to get comfy. Wriggle around and find a restful position to sit. You might even want to channel your cat or dog, the way they stretch and move when they sit down and prepare to rest, adjusting and readjusting until they’re ready for stillness.

Now comes the hard part. You need to just… stop. Be still. Settle into your body and breathe. Don’t feel like you need to meditate or be mindful of anything, you’re in training for doing nothing, and doing nothing means nothing – no agenda, no reason. Nothing at all…

You might feel itchy or jittery at first. Perhaps your thoughts will get noisy. Now is probably the time your brain serves up a list of all the other things you should be doing, running through your to-do list. Ignore it.

You might want to reach for your phone. Don’t. It can wait.

Sit with any discomfort that arises. By all means, recognize it, acknowledge it, but don’t engage with it… Revel in the experience of being. This may or may not feel pleasant.

Then, when your time is up, give your fingers and toes a wiggle, take a deep breath, and move on with your day.”

Brooke suggests you try this each day for a week and observe how you feel when you do it, and then expand this practice for longer, or take it for a walk, eventually working up to thirty minutes a week when you do absolutely nothing. She says ‘Idleness allows us to decompress from the relentless noise of modern life, providing an opportunity to recalibrate to a baseline of stillness where the ability to simply be for a moment does not result in boredom but in peace: relief in the quiet.’ Something to try, perhaps.

What’s coming up

-       The Winter Writing Sanctuary starts tomorrow. If you haven’t registered yet, there is still time. It is FREE and runs for ten days carrying us across the new year with inspiration and intention. I hope you love it. You can register at dowhatyouloveforlife.com.

-       And then on Saturday December 30 you can listen to the final episode of the year, Episode 10 WINTERSONG: Gratitude + Dreaming

And so I wish you a gorgeous few days between Christmas and New Year.

Remember, all of life is a story. Myths and legends. Folklore and fairy tales. Imagination and memory. Diaries and dinner dates. Catch-ups over a pint and family chats around the kitchen table. Fact and fiction. Hope and expectation. Truth and dream. Each detail a sentence, each conversation a page. These are the days of our lives, my friend. Live them fully. Write them well.

You have been listening to The Calm Christmas Podcast with me, Beth Kempton, produced by Untapped Talent. Don’t forget to subscribe, so you don’t miss our last episode of the year. I’d be so grateful if you could take a moment to rate the podcast, but only if you love it, of course.

Stay warm and cosy, and enjoy the Hush.