The Breast of Everything

Love and marriage – surviving in sickness and in health

January 28, 2022 Comprehensive Breast Care Season 2 Episode 9
Love and marriage – surviving in sickness and in health
The Breast of Everything
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The Breast of Everything
Love and marriage – surviving in sickness and in health
Jan 28, 2022 Season 2 Episode 9
Comprehensive Breast Care

“When cancer comes into a marriage, it really can alter your life.” That is why cancer survivors Darren and Jen Delvaux started their own podcast – “Mr. Worldwide and His Bride” – where they share stories about their cancer experiences, what they have learned along the way and how it has impacted their relationship and their marriage. During The Breast of Everything podcast, they talked with Comprehensive Breast Care Surgeon Ashley Richardson, DO, FACOS, about paying attention to the subtle signs and changes in your body, and “divine intervention,” as they call it.

At the age of 36, Darren was diagnosed with brain cancer and several years later, Jen learned she had breast cancer.

This young couple in their early 40s, describe the changes in their relationship – from husband and wife, to caregiver and patient, and parent and child – and how their marriage is stronger than it ever has been, thanks to open and honest conversations that brought lots of tears, laughter and defining moments. 

Jen learned that she couldn’t do it all and needed to ask for help, something nearly impossible for her, and Darren learned how to step up as a caregiver.

“Slow down, and give yourself grace to not do it all,” the couple advises. 

Don’t let the disease define you!

Show Notes Transcript

“When cancer comes into a marriage, it really can alter your life.” That is why cancer survivors Darren and Jen Delvaux started their own podcast – “Mr. Worldwide and His Bride” – where they share stories about their cancer experiences, what they have learned along the way and how it has impacted their relationship and their marriage. During The Breast of Everything podcast, they talked with Comprehensive Breast Care Surgeon Ashley Richardson, DO, FACOS, about paying attention to the subtle signs and changes in your body, and “divine intervention,” as they call it.

At the age of 36, Darren was diagnosed with brain cancer and several years later, Jen learned she had breast cancer.

This young couple in their early 40s, describe the changes in their relationship – from husband and wife, to caregiver and patient, and parent and child – and how their marriage is stronger than it ever has been, thanks to open and honest conversations that brought lots of tears, laughter and defining moments. 

Jen learned that she couldn’t do it all and needed to ask for help, something nearly impossible for her, and Darren learned how to step up as a caregiver.

“Slow down, and give yourself grace to not do it all,” the couple advises. 

Don’t let the disease define you!

Announcer  0:01  
Welcome to the breast of everything podcast your trusted resource for breast health information support and encouragement. Your host today is Dr. Ashley Richardson of comprehensive breast care. Welcome.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  0:15  
Welcome to the breast of everything podcast I am Dr. Asher Richardson of comprehensive breast care. And today I am happy to introduce Darrin and Jen Delvaux, better known as Mr. worldwide and his bride. They have quite a story to share with us. Darrin was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2009. And he has had three brain surgeries in two rounds of chemotherapy and radiation. His wife Jen was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2021. During their cancer journeys, they have dealt with many serious challenges and have become better people through it all. This young couple, yes, they're only in their 40s host a podcast called not today cancer, in hopes of helping others diagnosed with cancer. Today, they're going to talk us through love in marriage, both in sickness and in health, and how to get through a cancer diagnosis as a couple. Welcome Darrin and Jen.

Yay, we are so excited to be here. And I love that you call this a young couple. Oh, my God.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  1:11  
We have to hang on to that as long as we can. Right. I know. I love it. Well, you both have such a story to share. And you know, I think it'd be helpful if we could start with Darren's diagnosis.

I'm sure you want me to share your Do you want to

share you go ahead and I'll chime in. Okay, so

Unknown Speaker  1:26  
Darren was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2009. And we were just kind of blasted into it. We weren't really healthy and fit and all the things we didn't really understand. And he had brain surgery, like within that same week, it was just hit us so fast. And it came back 18 months later, right? Yeah. 18 months. Yeah, as in 2011. And we kind of at that point, I had some time to do some research. And we ended up having his second brain surgery in Houston at MD Anderson. And they did an awake brain surgery.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that that was kind of a cool experience. But it's, you know, so I've had two of those awake brain surgery. So yeah. So not like a lot of people can't claim.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  2:11  
And how old were you when you are diagnosed the first time?

Oh, what was 3636? Yeah, I'm like, Yeah,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  2:18  
crazy, right? So something that's just not even on the radar of most folks, you know, in their middle to late 30s have a brain cancer diagnosis.

No. And it was really weird. He said to me one time, he's like, we're out on a date night. And he's like, 10. It's really weird. I was just writing this email. I feel like it's taking me a really hard time spelling words. And I was like, what really? I'm like, we should go to the doctor. So he went to his doctor. And his doctor said, well, let's do the psych evaluation. Maybe you have adult onset add. And that came back. As they said, there's clearly something organic going on, because he's really smart, except for the short term memory.

He's saying that I'm really smart. Appreciate it.

You did really good. And you're like, that's what you say. You're so proud of that. Yeah. So that, but he failed miserably in the short term memory. And so he said, Listen, let's just schedule an MRI like 99% Sure, it's going to be nothing. And so it was actually on my birthday. It's so it was at nine o'clock at night. We went to dinner first. And then we're going to do this quick stop for this MRI at the hospital and then meet friends after. And that quickstop turned into our

Dr. Ashley Richardson  3:31  
life changing. Right? Yeah. Yeah, that's, you know, something, I think one of the things that we see all the time, especially right now, is people not really paying attention to the subtle signs and changes. And, you know, and both for you guys, we're both very young at diagnosis. And oftentimes, it's just the subtle change of knowing your own body and knowing when to react or when to, you know, call your doctor, that's just such an important point to begin with.

Well, you know, it's kind of funny is when I first went in, to me to my doctor, and just, you know, asked him a question I said, he said, What can I do for you today? And I'm like, I think I have brain cancer. And he said, 99.9% of the people

don't have Yeah, but he didn't tell me that. Right. Yeah.

But I was like, you know, it's, it gets back to like, our intuition and stuff like that, once we've went through. But, you know, it's, it's something that you just, it's a big part of your diagnosis is like recognizing things. Yeah, he is very, you are believing in believing, like, you're like how you feel right?

Dr. Ashley Richardson  4:30  
Right. Knowing your knowing you're normal, right? I mean, I say that to my breast cancer patients all the time. They'll say I can't do a breast exam. I'm always lumpy, bumpy, and I always say, well, it's important to know your normal if you know your own lumps your own bumps your own body, you know yourself more than anybody. So trusting your gut, your intuition, super important with that, how did you What presented with your second diagnosis?

That was so interestingly enough, is when it came back the second time he had had some seizure activity where it wasn't like grand mal seizure like he's on the floor passed out. He was just having some weird times where he didn't have control of his arm. And so we call the doctor and they scheduled another different MRI or another MRI. And he that doctor said, the one that did the first surgery said, Hey, all looks good. And Darrin said, No, it is not good, right. So we, at that point, got a second opinion and had another doctor look at it. And he said, Oh, my gosh, this is serious. You need to go somewhere where they have an awake surgery. And at that point in our area, they did not have that they do now but they didn't have it at the time. So that's when we went to MD Anderson. And he went, so it came back as a grade three, anaplastic astrocytoma. And he went eight years without anything, and then it came back again. In 2019. I exceeded

expectation. Yes, the rock star was

Dr. Ashley Richardson  5:50  
an overachiever, as we like to call categorize. Yeah. So for you, Jen, you know, explain how it was being a caregiver for a long, long period of time before the table's turned on you. And then you became the patient?

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, so crazy. So it's an interesting thing when cancer comes into a marriage, because it does have its challenges, especially when you're dealing with a brain cancer where, you know, it does alter you a little bit in for a little while. I mean, after Darrin second brain surgery, it was a very extensive surgery. He was I think you were in the operating room for like, 12 hours. Yeah. And he was awake for three hours of it. Like it was really long. And so after that, he had a stroke and some other complications. So we got to the point where it was patient caretaker, instead of a husband wife role. Yeah. And then even turned into almost a parent child relationship. Because child, I'm sorry

Dr. Ashley Richardson  6:52  
to call you. She called you smart earlier.

He said, But he after the stroke, he had to relearn everything,

and still reeling.

But so we, I would say to him, though, I helped him along, like, I really wanted him to start learning stuff again. So I would go to Target. And I would buy like just, you know, little preschool things where he can start writing again, and numbers, and we would get into an elevator and he would have no idea what to do. And I'd be like, Okay, what do you what do you think you would do? And so I really helped him, you know, teach him that stuff. But we've lost that love, if you know what I mean.

Like, passion in a relation? Yeah,

exactly. Oh, my God,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  7:33  
you know, a different connection. You know, like you said, I started off as husband and wife and transition to patient to caregiver, and then, you know, to child and parent, and there's at I'm sure on many different levels, both emotionally and physically. There was challenges across the way both for him and you,

if there really was and in fact, like, and you get to the point where he was in the clear, you know, we went through though, there was an entire year where he struggled. And after that year, then we're like, okay, life is like normal now, but we have to get back to normal. And I think that's where people struggle, and they, they don't do anything about it. And we did we went to therapy, I actually did EMDR therapy, because there was a lot of things to you. I mean, unfortunately, cancer is not sexy. And you see a lot of things that maybe you really

everything. Yeah, me with guys, I think is a little bit different.

Okay, okay, fine. But for me, I therapy, and then we just had to get back into dating again. And, and we did and we went to couples therapy, like it really did help. So I think, you know, there's things that you can do about it. But when it came to my diagnosis, I don't think we changed roles. So much other than I changed a little bit, and I'm sure you hear this a lot with breast cancer patients. But you know, I was shocked when I was diagnosed, first of all,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  8:51  
so how do you mind letting us know how you found your diet? Or how did your diagnosis come about?

Yeah, I weirdly, I kept seeing this number 1111. For like, three months, I was like, What is this? Like, every time I looked at like the microwave that I'd get a message that was at 1111. Like, daily, multiple times a day. I'm like, What is this? And I looked it up and it's like, you know, all this like woowoo stuff that's like, angels are trying to conjure divine intervention. Yes, yeah. But I saw this last time and I was like, huh, I might do for my mammogram. And I didn't even know but I decided to call after seeing that number for the bajillion time. And they said, Oh, you're just a couple of weeks past two, we'll get you scheduled. So I went to my mammogram, and they called me back like five days later, or four days, maybe they said, hey, you need to come back in for repeat mammogram and ultrasound. We're seeing something I'm like, Okay, I did not think anything of it. Like nothing. I wasn't worried in the slightest. But the weird thing was, she said, Do you want to know which breast and I was like, Sure. And she said, Okay, hold on one second. In my head, I was going to my left, my left. I know she's gonna say my left. And she said, it's in your left. And I was like, okay. So I go to the repeat mammogram, and they do the pictures, and it's not showing up at first. And then it finally she's like, Oh, yep, we see it. And I'm like, okay, she's like, let me show this to the doctor and see if he wants you to come back for the ultrasound. And they did. So I went to the ultrasound. And I've left still wasn't nervous. I kept thinking, there's just no way. There's no way husband and wife, right? Like, there's no way. And she the Ultra, the tech was really serious. And she was staying in one spot for a long time. And you know, this was COVID. So I'm by myself. I didn't have anybody there with me. And after that was finished, she said, I'm going to go talk to the doctor and bring him back with me. And I knew that that was that was like serious, because basically, in where we live, if you see the doctor, that's that there's something there. So bad side. Yeah. So he came in, and it was the nicest man, but just the saddest man here. And he was like, so you really don't feel anything? I'm like, No. And he's like, Okay, well, you know, it just so sad. Like, we do think that this is, um, you know, going to be breast cancer, we need you back in the morning for a biopsy. And I still was like, I still didn't really believe it. I was knowing that I came home and then the nurse called me immediately, immediately when we got home, and she's like, we really think this is cancer. And I was like, Okay, fine. And so then I'd like, you know, okay, fine, cried deer and served me wine. I know, that's probably not good for cancer. But

I think I think it's fine for all totally appropriate in that

Dr. Ashley Richardson  11:49  
kind of situation, you know, and that it's hard not to interrupt, but that's always hard, especially on the surgeon side of things. Because we hear those stories from patients a the divine intervention, the amount of times that I have heard a patient say that they just felt something or saw something, I'm sorry, not felt as in the breast, but I inside in their soul that something had changed, or something had shifted, or there was just something that came over them to think you know what, I need to get a mammogram and not that they had anything wrong with them, but that that feeling came over them. Right. We hear that all the time. But the other part of that is that it's hard as a surgeon because nobody really wants to hear somebody say we think you have cancer without knowing you have cancer, at least that's what I hear a lot from patients. And you went home and you went into wine and you went into all the what ifs and you didn't really know. And there are some times that we have to prepare you but there are other times that's like, you know, just give you the benefit of the doubt to the next day. Right? Yes,

I agree. And, you know, I was so scared because what you know, his look and his sad demeanor, and, and then her calling me and saying, We're for sure this is and and me just thinking oh my gosh, what it's it's like all over my body. What if it's everywhere, like I went into total panic mode, until I went into my breast surgeons office and she was incredible. And I was like, if you need to take it all take my bras like, do whatever you need to do. Like I need to be here. Like I was like panic and she was like, girlfriend, you're gonna be just fine. She's like, you're gonna be just like, my husband has brain cancer. I can't, nothing can happen to me. And I anyway, she was great because she was immediate, like, oh, we have this, we got this.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  13:23  
Well, you also already put yourself back in that caregiver role. You know, you tried to take yourself out of being the patient and that's a lot of what I find with a lot of our breast cancer patients regardless of their diagnosis while I'm caring for my elderly husband who has dementia. I'm caring for my son who's 45 and handicapped with cerebral palsy. I, you know, we as women and not to take away from you, Darrin, but we as women always assume that motherly caregiver role and we need to be there for others and it's hard to put ourselves first. Yeah. So how did you make yourself put yourself first?

That was really hard. I'm not gonna lie, and I and I am the type of person that is like, I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me. I don't want them to worry about me. I wanted I'm like no negativity. I don't want people to say like, Oh, poor Jenny. I'm like, I put it out there on social media. I'm like, positive energy only. And people did. They were like, What can we bring you let me bring you meals. I'm like, Nope, I'm good. Like, I am just that type of person. That is not good at accepting help. But I've get I'm getting better. Yeah. And I am slowing down and I'm in deer in his eye. You know, he's been amazing. Like I did actually need him. I realized it after going through like radiation and the exhaustion of that that he you did step up, and I appreciated that. And I think for me the hardest thing with all that was just I don't know, I'm just not good at accepting. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, go ahead.

I forgot already.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  14:55  
Well, what I was gonna say is it's always it comes think about Christmas or Holidays, you know, we as women always assume all of the roles, right. And it's so hard and especially with a cancer diagnosis, it hits a breaking point where I see with patients, maybe not at the Cancer console, maybe not after surgery, but like you said, after radiation where you hit that wall, where finally you're like, you know what, I need that now, I'm ready to help, and you have to get there. But it has to be on your time, and especially depending on your social support and your spousal support. But you usually get there. And I find once people accept that, and once our patients say, You know what, I'm going to take a step back, I'm going to let my co workers have the rough day and I'm going to stay home, I'm going to recognize that the kids are going to be okay, even if the clothes are mismatched. Yeah, you do better because you give up a little bit of that control.

Yeah, I do. Oh, my gosh, exactly. Like I remember all of a sudden, just slowing way down and giving myself grace and not worrying about doing it all. Don't you think that it totally changed that way? Yeah. When

you say giving yourself grace. That's exactly the mindset, I think that you needed and never had before. No. And so I was proud of her. I'm like, you know, you can't just handle this whole thing on your own, like you do everything else. So I was actually really proud of the way that you handle that situation.

Yeah, it was something I had to definitely overcome. And I know, you know, my close friends and people that know me just would drop stuff off anyway, because they know I would never

Dr. Ashley Richardson  16:21  
tell. Absolutely, yeah. You know, and give yourself grace. That's, you know, that could be a title of a podcast, because so many of us in every aspect of our lives need to just sometimes give ourselves grace, you know. And aside from that advice, what are their advice now that you both have gone through a cancer diagnosis, and you've gone through these struggles in different journeys do you have for other couples dealing with cancer?

I think one really important thing is to have open and honest conversations about everything. So Darrin and I, this was before I was diagnosed, but you know, he's dealing with it a grade four, you know, a stage four astrocytoma. And he had tried to talk to me several times, like, he'll joke around and be like, hey, I want this song at my funeral. And I'd be like, Haha, laughed it off. And one night, we were having a date night in and making dinner and having a glass of wine, and we were listening to music. And that's one thing I recommend for anybody out there is you need to date your spouse. But this particular night, we dove into he said once again to the song, it's like, I want this song. at my funeral. i My Darrin and I kind of like laughed him off. He's like, No, I really want to talk to you about this. And we had the most beautiful, gut wrenching night, I think of our entire marriage, like it was laughter in tears. And we talked about everything.

It's probably one of the best nights of my life, even though there was, like you said, even though there was tears and everything, it was the most impactful conversation I've ever had. Yeah,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  17:53  
I mean, your best night of your life just brought me to tears, but it sounds lovely. You know, it's listening, like you said, taking a moment to listen to him to recognize what was bothering him and what he needed to say, and what he wanted you to hear.

Right. And it was everything I think I needed to hear, you know, we nobody really knows what's going to happen. Nobody does. And I'm so thankful that we have that conversation. And we've been able to talk through everything. And then the other thing, you know, for women, especially those that are dealing with cancer, breast cancer, and you're thrown into the lovely menopause, and all the things that go along with it, and I was very open and honest with Darren about that when I you know, my breasts tried to kill me, you know, and you you you don't feel sexy anymore. So we had to like, navigate how, how we were going to get through that and I had to tell him like, it's not you it's me right now. Like I'm working through it now and you know, talking with somebody through my OBGYN It's basically after menopause like how to get your sex life back and how to feel good about it again in your own skin because it does take work it's it's unfortunately the side effects of for breast cancer specifically in the hormone blocking meds and all the lovely things it it can affect all that and I but I told Darrin right away I think, you know, some people may be like, I don't want to talk about it with my husband. I told them exactly how I was feeling. And he was like, I get it. And it was a good conversation that we we had. So he knew where I was coming from that it wasn't him. It was me, but I was working through it. Well,

I think the good thing about it is that we recognize that very early where a lot of people do you know they go through all these struggles and sometimes to like in your your parable, is that a real word?

repairable? No, I don't think that the word

Dr. Ashley Richardson  19:43  
what and very, very internal, you know, ladies have a hard time sometimes even talking to their provider and I know as a female breast surgeon, they tell me all kinds of things, you know, things that sometimes I don't want to know but I love hearing it. And I always want my office to be an open door for them. So Whether it's like you mentioned vaginal dryness or things with intercourse, or feeling sexier, having your spouse See you at your worst, those are all things that help you become a survivor. And not let the disease define you and being able to open up to your provider and open up to your spouse or find a friend to sit over wine and talk about all the ugly things. Yeah, you have to do that. Because otherwise you internalize it all. And then your spouse, they don't know what you're thinking, and then they start to think it for you. And that's not always the same thoughts.

Yeah, that's exactly it. And so I researched somebody local, who specializes in the menopause, and sex and all that. And she's been incredible and has had so many suggestions. So advocate for advocate, be an advocate for yourself as far as that goes, because there are things you can do. You're not stuck with this. You mean, of course, you're stuck in menopause. But there are things you can do to help with the vaginal dryness and the, you know,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  20:53  
yeah, lots of options. And yes, fun, interesting options. A little bit off topic. But one of the things when we were looking at your podcast that you guys have, which is just awesome that you guys have that as a resources. But you also talk about shaming and comparing. And can you talk about that a little bit? And if there's a personal story that relates to that,

yes, this was just actually recently I said something in my stories, and you know, I'm not even a year out. And I am I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. Stage one, grade two, so chemo was on the table for me. We opted not to do that we did Zoladex injections, and my oncologist felt okay with it, but it was my ultimate decision. I you know, so it's still like, in the back of my head, like, did I make the right decision. So you know, I did the surgery and radiation. And that was she felt comfortable with me not doing it either. But anyway, I posted something I share cancer stuff all day, every day on my stories. Because right now, my whole purpose is I want to help somebody else who's newly diagnosed, and I want to help them get through it in a positive way. And I want to inspire them, because that's what I needed. I needed to look at women in front of me who were going through it that could get me through it, I could see that they did it. I'm like, okay, I can do it, too. And so I put myself out there every day on social media in regards to breast cancer. And I got a message that somebody said, and it was so mean, I can't even go into the whole exact was really long. But it was basically saying like, Why do you think that you can still be on here talking about like, like, you still have breast cancer, like it's ongoing. Like, there are so many people that actually are going through it right now. And you're technically not. And then I've had also so that was one and then I've had people say that I can't use the word thriver. Because that word thriver is for metastatic breast cancer. And I'm like, what, but why? You know, like, and just people are shaming you if you're using certain words. And if you're not, because you didn't have chemo or you you're only a stage one, and I'm in stage three. And I'm like, shocked, because I put it out there. And I've had so many women reach out to me that are being shamed, or their be their belittling their diagnosis, or like, you have the good diagnosis, you'll be fine, or you have the good cancer, you'll be fine. Like that sort of stuff. It's

unbelievable. Everybody has their own, like emotional. I don't know how to say it. Yeah, nevermind. Well,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  23:26  
nobody, you don't care who else is in the waiting room sometimes. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But you know, every time I see a patient, I look at them as who they are and their diagnosis, I don't think about the patients that walked in before them or the patient that's coming in after them. Whether they're stage one or stage four, you know, sometimes I'll have patients say, Oh, I was in the waiting room for at the medical oncologist. And looking around, I was older than some I was healthier than some, I'm thankful that I don't need chemotherapy. And I do think ladies recognize that at certain points. But the thing about social media and the thing about the internet is you can hide behind a screen and you can say whatever you want. And obviously that's very evident in the culture we live in today. But it's also so shameful and upsetting. Because in a time when you need others, the most people still find a way to knock you down for something that is, you know, doesn't need to be knocked out.

Right? I don't understand it. I just think it's I and what I did with this particular woman I sent I actually put a post about it. And the reaction I got was unbelievable. And everybody I you know, I found out that I was not alone and that so many other women deal with this. And I said hey, I'm assuming that day that you were hurting. And I forgive you for that message. But I just want you to look at all these women and how important it is to not discriminate somebody up cancer diagnosis or belittle it or say that they're not allowed to say they still they still cancer like it was just such a weird thing. She felt terrible. And I think you know, we just have to bring in a awareness to it like,

Dr. Ashley Richardson  25:01  
Right? Absolutely. Yeah. You know, by making a podcast out of that you're bringing awareness to something that they don't realize what they're doing. And that's the same thing with a lot of just generalities in today's society of making light of that's not okay I, you know, I say all the time, we need to all stop being mean people. And I don't care if you're at the post office or the pharmacy or the gas station, we all need a little we kind of give a little grace around here and be like

I said, just everybody be kind to each other. Why do we live in such a divided world? Like, let's just be nice to each other?

Dr. Ashley Richardson  25:36  
Yeah, we are, we are coming to a close here. Do you have any other messages that you'd like to share with our listeners,

I think the most important thing is, you know, when you have a cancer diagnosis is to look at the changes that you can make within, you know, because it can't, you've got cancer, for whoever knows why, whatever reason it is, but for me personally, and I know, for so many other women that I've talked to, that are getting through it a positive way is by making changes, you know, so I think it's important to slow down, you know, look at your nutrition, look at meditation and mindfulness, and really start caring for your body and start walking and just doing things that you can control, because you feel so out of control when you're diagnosed. But when you're doing the things that you can control, it just gives you a little peace, and and it releases some of that fear that cancer can cause.

Yeah, and I think one of the things is, you have to take like an internal audit of yourself. Yeah. And you like that? And, but I mean, you have to look, you can't look to the outside world for help. Sometimes when you just have to do it on your own.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  26:48  
Yeah, you got to bring your own sunshine. Yeah.

I'm not saying like, I'm just gonna do it all on my own, I didn't want me to

Dr. Ashley Richardson  26:56  
come out. No. But at the end of the day, if you have everybody around, you're rooting for you, and you don't root for yourself. Yeah, you're not going to go as far as you could, because you have to be the own champion of your journey. And I think that is a lot of sometimes lost on people that if you have the power of positivity speaks volumes, and so to standard medicine, but at the end of the day, you have to believe in yourself and go forward with the treatment to really see a positive, impactful outcome.

Yeah. And I think even like, for, again, for me, like I was like, Okay, what is the purpose behind this, not that everybody has to have a purpose. But I hear also from a lot of women that when they like, join a 5k, or they somehow are getting involved with what they're going through it also, you know, it gets you through it. And you know, with me writing that the book that's coming out soon, like, that has been so therapeutic for me. And just knowing that one day, it can help other women is just hugely powerful in my journey, it makes it it makes it okay, you know what I mean? Like it makes the cancer diagnosis, okay, because the cancer diagnosis woke me up a little bit. It changed me a little bit. And I'm a better person today because of it. Did I did I not like it a lot of days, of course. But now looking back, I can say I'm okay that this happened to me. And what's the title of your book? It's called Not today. Cancer, you picked the wrong girl. It's not your typical Cancer Survival Guide, or the girl that wants to thrive, not just survive. So there's like three different parts I dive into, like, when you're first diagnosed, now what navigating the diagnosis and then life after your diagnosis, owning owning your power?

Dr. Ashley Richardson  28:32  
Well, not only the book, but also your podcasts are certainly going to be great resources for our patients. And thank you both there. And Jen, also, Mr. worldwide and his bride for joining me today on the breast of everything.

Thank you so much for having us. This has been so fun.

Exactly. Thank you.

Dr. Ashley Richardson  28:49  
It's all my pleasure. There's been so many power of positivity that I can take away from today. Well, thank you for our listeners. For the breast of everything podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Asha Richardson, comprehensive breast care. And as always, we want to hear from you. If you have a topic that you'd like us to talk about. We welcome your suggestions. You can send them to compress that CO MP br e a s t

Announcer  29:17  
You've been listening to the best of everything podcast with your host and board certified breast surgeon, Dr. Ashley Richardson of comprehensive breast care. If you have a subject you would like the surgeons to discuss, please email your suggestions online at comp Breast Care. com. That's co MP The doctors want to hear from you. The views thoughts and opinions shared in this podcast are intended for general education and informational purposes only and should not be substituted for medical advice, treatment or care from your physician or healthcare provider. Always consult your health care provider first

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