Episode 5: The Best Moments

After 5 weeks, Liz and Mike experience true joy.

Transcript

LIZ
Week 5. And three quarters. He’s just... staring at me. Still. For five weeks, five days, and eleven hours. What should I do? I have no idea... I try this—

(Blows raspberry on stomach)

Nothing. This——

(Tickles BABY)

Nothing. And even——

(A sticking out tongue waggly finger face complete with noises)

BLALALALA! And—— What was that? Did you just stick your tongue out like Mommy? Like——

(LIZ does it again.)

Like a little lizard boy? Are you my little lizard boy? (Singing) Lizard boy, lizard boy! Blalalala! Lizard boy.

What is this feeling? It’s like a... an all encompassing wave washed over me and I’m just... I’m a little taller, a little lighter. The world seems clearer. I guess it’s... pride. I’m proud of you little man. You did it. You discovered something! You are becoming more of a person. More of a you. I’ve never felt pride like this. It’s... amazing. Like a major Mom high. Like a reflex. The corners of my mouth creep upward of their own accord and I’m just... laughing, light hearted, in the moment. With you, my little boy. Can you do it again?

Blalala! Where’s that tongue? There it is! There it is. You did it! You understood me! You understand!

(Sticking out her tongue) In and out. In and out. BLAH.

We are finally talking. And I can’t... I’m tearing up. This is so silly. I... didn’t know how much I needed this. How much you meant, you mean to me. All of this waiting and providing and then suddenly... it’s hope. You are really going to grow up. Just like everyone said you would.

These have been the longest weeks of my entire life. I’ve never... well it’s been all about you little guy. Every day is... forever. I guess I’ve been losing hope that there’s anyone in there. With all of the crying, eating, sleeping. But you are just learning. You’d respond if you could, but you are just so new and I’m so new at this and impatient at everything... I need to remember this. Remember this in the middle of the effort. In the middle of loneliness. In the middle of the silent stares and constant need and requirement.

He’s a sponge. He’s absorbing it and then one day out of nowhere he’s going to put it all together and it all will come oozing out of him, out of you. Making faces back at mommy. Click. Inspiration. You’re just like me.

There it is. Again, again, again! I feel like a kid at an amusement park. Begging their mom to let them go down a roller coaster for the 18th time. Wow, I’m not even going to comment on how silly that is... Me leaning over the changing table and making faces at my son making faces back. It’s the best ride I’ve EVER been on. I’m not even exaggerating. I’ve never felt like this. No one else has ever made me feel like this, little man. There it goes again! You silly boy! You know what to do. Blech! Thank you for this, kid. Thank you for hanging on. Walking with Mommy while she catches up. Catches on. You’re so patient. We all have to be in this. I’ve got to remember that. Keep this moment.

There’s the tongue! You are such a ham. That reminds me... I should get this on camera. For grandma. I’m being selfish! Keeping all the fun to myself. Where did I put my phone? There it is! And... I’m back. Hey little boy... say cheese! Say BLALALA! Blech! Nothing? Really? Is it... the phone? How do you know it’s different? I’m just trying to share this, so more people can feel this... so they can be proud of you too. Grandma and Nana want to——

(Camera shutter)

There it was! Lightning tongue! Ha ha! And... didn’t catch it. Will you do it again?

(Camera shutter)

Yay! Aw... You’re too fast for Mommy.

It’s okay. I’ll just text everyone. And hope they believe me. Or care. I just... I want to share. When your happiness overflows and you don’t have anywhere to put it...

Hold on. I’m almost there. I should just be with you, in the moment with you, celebrating this moment. But I am. Truly. Just with adults too. That’s okay. For a second. I’m so proud.

Say BLAH!

(Camera shutter then typing)

“Can’t believe this little boyo is smiling not just for gas!” Nope... “Lizard boy smile!” Eh... “Look what he learned!” That’s fine. It doesn’t haven’t to be perfect. I’m not one of those... like pinterest perfect posters. I mean the baby’s in a onsie and I’m leaning over him in my rumpled did-I-wear-this-as-PJs-last-night? outfit, frizzy spit up hair, and baggy eyes. I just want... I need human connection. Not that I’m going to get it here. Seeing the notifications rack up does help. A little. People thought about me and my world for a second. But also I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious Mom posters where I need validation for every little mom victory. I just want others to be a part of it? This feeling is too good not to share.

This isn’t the best angle. I mean, you are definitely cuter in person. No. I shouldn’t be taking pictures. I should be here in the moment with you. Don’t want you to feel neglected. It is so crazy how quickly babies’ anxieties kick in when you are on a screen. My mom shared a video about it. The still face experiment, I think? The mom is playing and interacting with her child and then she just... stops. It’s like a storm takes over this kid. It’s crazy how fast the babies feel... neglected? Alone. They crave eye contact. Why is the phone more important than them? I never realized how attached I am to it. (Post noise) Done. Good. Phone away. Back to boyo. Are those fingers tasty? Mm... Blech.
BLAH.

No? Is the moment over? The moment is over. Okay. Back to staring. And our normal scheduled programming...

(GIANT baby poo)

There’s a blowout. I just changed you! Where did I put those wipes? Keys in the door and MIKE enters. Immediately a baby appears in his hands.

MIKE
Week 5.  Oh! Hi Liz! And bye... That kind of day, huh? O-okay. Uh... so... good to see you too. What should we do son? This? Squeak, squeak, squeak-ity, squeak.

(The BABY lets out a wail.)

Ok. No more of that. Let’s try... Vroom vroom. He turns left, right and SCREE! Watch out for the pedestrian!

(BABY still cries.)

No? What about rolling down a ramp? You love watching them roll. Ready, set, go. And go. And go.

(Crying continues.)

Sorry. Woah that’s kind of brain numbingly mesmerizing. I’m here. I hear ya. Rolling cars isn’t doing it today. I get that. You want my full attention. I’m trying. I’m here after a long day of staring at a computer screen just wanting to let my brain melt. Do you want to read? That’s what Daddy wants to do. Here I’ll just pull out my book and we can bounce and read together. Where did Daddy leave off? Chapter 6. The epic intergalactic battle.

Oh. Did you want me to read it out loud? Or... did I stop bouncing? Getting lost I guess... I don’t get that much time with you. I should be here, when I’m here. You’re right. No matter how tired or lazy I want to be. How about a book for you? Would that be better? “The Little Blue truck went down the road———” Nope not into that either. Just not letting anyone regenerate today, huh? What about...? Uh... Look! A diaper bag! Let’s see. We have diapers. Good thing to have in a diaper bag. They make a lovely... hat. Nope, you don’t like that. Okay, what about this. Peek-a-boo! Not buying it. I get it. This time of day equals no fooling around. Got it. Uh... Wipes... Nope. Diaper changing pad! Okay, now we’re talking! Let’s just... uh... Could it be a cape? I know dress up didn’t light your fire... But super change man! Come on! No? How about... uh... maybe... Put you down on there, that’s right lay you down, we aren’t going to change you... you aren’t dirty right? Nope! Great. Don’t have to do that, see? But look! We can scoot. You like that? Okay. What about this? There we go! Left, right, and 360 spin degree! Whee! You love this. Around the back. Scree! Necessity, the moth... father of invention. To the left, to the right, and... And... he’s snatched away to bedtime, I guess. Well, good to see you son!

I get the best moments.