#420 - Minute 21 and 29 Seconds

What if the problem that feels like it might break everything is actually the doorway to a better way forward? In today’s episode, Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy shares a powerful story from her own orthodontic practice about stress, staffing, fear, and the moment a trusted team member gave her two weeks’ notice at the worst possible time. For high-achieving women in dentistry and deeply passionate healthcare professionals, this episode offers a calming and practical reminder: your nervous system may be telling you the sky is falling, but your future may be opening in ways you cannot see yet.

Dr. Tarryn walks through how grounding, breathwork, nature, and a higher perspective can help shift panic into clarity, fear into trust, and overwhelm into better leadership. She also guides you through a simple practice you can return to whenever life, work, family, or your practice feels too heavy. Press play, step outside if you can, and borrow a little hindsight from your future self.

Show notes:
(4:04) When a key team member leaves
(9:24) Fear creates worst-case thinking
(11:12) Stepping outside to reset stress
(14:10) Taking the glass elevator up
(18:31) A staffing problem becomes growth
(21:29) Minute 21 and 29 seconds
(30:32) Outro

_______________________

IMPORTANT LINKS:

Empower Her Retreat:
Dates: October 1–4, 2026
Location: Taos, New Mexico
Website: empowerherretreat.org

Connect with Dr. MacCarthy:
Email: tarryn@drtarrynmaccarthy.com

Book a call with Tarryn:
https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/bookings/happiness-and-prosperity-strategy-call

Unlock your inner peace and reclaim joy in your profession with the Nervous System Regulation For Dentists Course: https://www.thebizofhappiness.com/calm

Please join my Facebook group, Business Of Happiness Hive, so we can all take this journey to find fulfillment and happiness together. Click here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2047152905700283

Where to find me:
Website: www.thebizofhappiness.com
Facebook: facebook.com/thebusinessofhappiness
IG: @thebizofhappiness

It would mean the world to me if you subscribe, leave a review, and share this podcast with your friends, co-workers, and families. This will help the trajectory of this podcast and allow others who are seeking true happiness to find the podcast.

Transcript

Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy

(0:01) Welcome to the Business of Happiness podcast. (0:05) It's your host, Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy. (0:08) And this is the podcast where we put happiness first.(0:14) I help high achieving, deeply passionate healthcare professionals like you rediscover their happiness and their freedom. (0:23) Join me in conversations with experts to uncover our unique definition of happiness and answer the question, is there really such a thing as work-life balance? (0:35) If you've heard yourself saying, you know, I'll be happy when?(0:41) Well, my friend, the time is now. (0:44) Time to step out of the busyness of your life and time to step into the business of happiness. (0:54) Hello and welcome back to the Business of Happiness podcast.(0:59) Welcome back. (1:00) I am your host, Dr. Tarryn MacCarthy. (1:02) And today is going to be a really special day.(1:06) We're trying something new. (1:08) I'm inviting you to try something new. (1:10) Stay curious because today's episode is going to be unlike the previous episodes.(1:16) And I'm inviting you on a little journey with me. (1:19) It's going to be a little different. (1:20) This podcast episode, always for women in dentistry and in medicine, always supporting you and your emotional and mental spiritual well-being.(1:33) And today we're going to create a little different direction, a little different, what's the word I'm looking for? (1:44) A little different cadence and tempo in today's episode. (1:48) We're going to start out with a story I want to share with you within the dental world.(1:54) And then a lesson. (1:56) And then at the minute that is the name of this episode, we're going to do a practice. (2:03) So that you can return to this episode, and I'm going to tell you why at that minute.(2:09) So the story and the lesson are going to happen first. (2:12) And hey, if you want to listen to it again, that's awesome. (2:14) But there is going to be a practice.(2:18) The practice is guaranteed to make you feel better. (2:22) But this practice is also something you need to make time for. (2:26) So perhaps you're driving, perhaps you're listening to this, working out, which is fine.(2:33) Perhaps you're doing something right now, listening to this episode, watching a track meet. (2:39) I don't know, whatever you're doing where you can't take time for yourself. (2:43) That's what the second half of this episode is for.(2:46) So at the minute that is the title of this episode, you can fast forward to that minute. (2:50) And then there's going to be a practice. (2:53) And I'm going to ask you, I'm going to invite you to make a promise to yourself.(2:59) To your future self. (3:01) To your now self. (3:02) That you will schedule a time and place for this easy, short, quick, few minute practice.(3:10) Out of the space of curiosity, I wonder if this will make me feel more at peace. (3:17) More calm. (3:20) More clear.(3:21) Whatever the problem is that you're experiencing right now. (3:25) This little practice is going to give you a completely different perspective. (3:29) This is what I teach and guide in my programs.(3:33) It is one of the pieces of magic of how to get back to feeling better as a woman in dentistry. (3:39) As a woman who is taking care of everyone else. (3:42) Who is holding so many responsibilities and feeling overwhelmed.(3:46) And like her voice doesn't matter. (3:48) And nobody is ever there to support her. (3:51) As that incredible woman, this is for you.(3:55) To give you permission. (3:57) To give your body and your mind a permission slip to feel better. (4:05) So, as I promised, you know, I wanted to share the story with you.(4:10) I remember a time in my practice where we were running on a skeleton staff. (4:18) Things had happened. (4:19) A couple people were on maternity leave.(4:22) We were pretty thin in terms of support. (4:26) And I remember one of my key players gave her two week notice. (4:32) And the fear and the stress that entered my body upon that moment was overwhelming.(4:39) We had a completely booked schedule. (4:42) It was summer. (4:43) Summers in orthodontics is a busy time because kids are not in school.(4:48) Those are the times when we can do a lot of starts, patient starts. (4:53) It's kind of like make hay when the sun shines. (4:56) There are more hours in the day.(4:57) The kids are not in school. (4:59) So, people are coming in for start appointments all through the day. (5:05) Our schedule changed over the summer.(5:07) So, we actually ended work a little bit earlier in the day so that my team and I could enjoy the evenings with our families. (5:15) So, that meant we were really full during the work hours. (5:20) And we were already thin on team.(5:23) One of my key players who really kept the wheels on the bus rolling and turning and greased, she gave her two week notice. (5:32) Not anything to do with me. (5:34) Not anything to do with the practice.(5:35) She was moving to another state with her boyfriend. (5:40) That's it. (5:41) The time had come.(5:42) They were moving. (5:43) They were thinking about it for a long time unbeknownst to me. (5:45) And now was the time.(5:47) And yes, of course, all those emotions come into play. (5:50) That sadness of losing somebody who you get really close to. (5:55) That terror of losing somebody who's really holding up the team.(5:58) Who's really providing support in a real big way. (6:01) That sadness that you put so much time and love, not just time, but love into a relationship. (6:09) So often we hear and we talk about training.(6:13) You know, I trained that person and she's really well versed in the way that I treat patients. (6:18) And she knows my system. (6:19) And there are parts of the practice that she knows that nobody else knows.(6:24) And we forget about the love piece, too. (6:28) Right? (6:29) Someone I loved.(6:30) And she was saying goodbye. (6:32) She was moving to another state. (6:35) This wasn't somebody who I had coffee with on the weekends or, you know, texted on a Friday night.(6:41) This was someone who I only saw in the office. (6:44) This was the nature of our relationship. (6:45) And I was sad that I was losing a friend.(6:49) Yes, that friendship was really defined by our work relationship, but it was still a friendship. (6:56) And I just want to honor that. (6:57) There is sadness there.(7:00) There is sadness there. (7:02) And yes, our team members have autonomy to leave. (7:05) They have autonomy of their own lives.(7:07) They have desires and dreams. (7:10) And some of them outgrow our practices or outgrow their positions in our practices. (7:14) And we wish them love.(7:16) And it does hurt. (7:19) And behind the hurt was fear. (7:24) Just like the stories that are swirling around now, it felt like it was hard to find team members.(7:32) That was the ethos of our community. (7:35) There was very few people applying for jobs. (7:39) I remember we would post something on Indeed and we'd schedule interviews and people just wouldn't show up.(7:45) I remember thinking, there's so many people that just need to prove that they are applying for interviews to keep their unemployment insurance checks coming in. (7:56) Or their unemployment checks coming in. (7:59) So these people just wouldn't even show up to their interviews.(8:02) I didn't even have a chance. (8:04) And I kept trying. (8:05) And I remember being so scared about the fact that she was leaving.(8:10) We were so solidly booked. (8:12) Heavy, fast schedule. (8:14) And I thought, oh my gosh, how am I going to find the time, number one, to find someone.(8:20) To train someone. (8:21) Isn't two weeks such a crime? (8:23) We always think, oh my gosh, two weeks.(8:25) How am I going to find someone, train someone, have them up and running before the end of two weeks, right? (8:31) And it always takes like a day or two for you to even come to terms with the fact. (8:36) In the past, I used to try to negotiate.(8:39) Who's done that? (8:40) Please tell me, what is it? (8:42) Can I offer you more money?(8:43) What is the other job? (8:45) This was clear. (8:48) Her boyfriend had another job in another state.(8:51) They were moving. (8:52) There was nothing I could even sit and have a conversation about. (8:56) Where do you not feel fulfilled?(8:57) Where do you not feel valued? (8:59) How can I make this attractive to you? (9:01) Nope, out of the question.(9:02) This was done. (9:05) And the fear really stepped in. (9:07) And that problem felt really big and real.(9:12) It did. (9:13) I mean, I had all the evidence of it. (9:15) We had been looking for somebody.(9:17) I told you, we were thin on team. (9:18) So we already had ads out there. (9:21) And nobody was showing up.(9:23) And we already were trying to find people. (9:26) And already we were at a thin place. (9:28) And now another person was leaving.(9:30) And that stress was overwhelming. (9:33) I carried it with me all day long. (9:37) All night long.(9:39) And everywhere I would, you know, look on Facebook or talk to my friends, that same messaging would come through. (9:47) Such a dearth of dental assistants right now. (9:51) Our area is saturated.(9:54) Nobody in our area can find good work. (9:57) Everybody is paying unreasonable amounts in terms of salary. (10:01) There's no way I could start paying a hygienist salary for an assistant.(10:05) How could I start that? (10:06) And then the fear, right, of what if one of my team members found out that I'm paying her more and now I'd have to raise everybody's. (10:14) We go down this, what I call a rabbit hole of hell.(10:19) And that rabbit hole of hell is the thought process that goes from one disastrous situation to another, to another, to another. (10:26) Thinking about all the complications, like almost like this is a domino. (10:32) A little game of dominoes where this one person, this one team member giving her notice ends up in my bankruptcy.(10:41) Now who here listening to this knows what I'm talking about. (10:46) She's given her notice and immediately in my mind I'm bankrupt. (10:53) And that stress and that overwhelm feels very real.(10:57) And I'm going to share with you what I did because of the work that I've been doing and that I've learned about the human body, about biology, that I've learned about psychology, that I've learned about the way the universe works and our purpose and our journey here on earth as human beings. (11:18) I noticed the stress I was in and I stopped and I got my butt outside and I went for a walk and for me, I go to the woods. (11:29) There is a reason my friends, they call it forest bathing in Japan, in these societies that are extremely busy and pressured and they work way too many hours a day and they have a very high suicide rate, very high depression rate.(11:43) They have something called forest bathing. (11:46) And I know you've heard about this and it is a real thing. (11:50) Getting out into nature.(11:53) And we can spend a whole podcast episode talking about why that works. (11:57) But for me, all I need to know is in my body it works and I get out into the woods, put my feet in the ground, in the grass. (12:05) There's a thing called grounding.(12:08) When your energy is so up in your head and the thoughts and the fears are so intense, you're not even aware of your body. (12:17) You don't even notice your body. (12:20) This is called fight or flight.(12:22) This is how mothers lift cars off of their babies, right? (12:26) This is how we push through pain in a marathon. (12:31) You could have an injured, broken hip.(12:34) One of my clients had broken her hip and kept running, didn't even notice the pain until it was so intense that she had to actually physically couldn't walk anymore. (12:44) Adrenaline, cortisol. (12:45) They mask our awareness of our bodies.(12:49) We are not in our bodies in that place of fight or flight. (12:52) So the first thing I do is I get outside, I step away, I interrupt and I put my feet in the grass. (12:58) And that is what I'm inviting you to do, to schedule, doesn't matter what's going on in your life.(13:04) Even if the problems are not that big but you feel like there's a problem in your life. (13:10) That's what part two of this podcast is going to be about. (13:12) I'm going to invite you to join me on doing this.(13:15) So I did this. (13:17) Got outside. (13:19) When I got outside, put my feet in the grass, I took three deep and intentional slow breaths into my base of my lungs.(13:30) It's called belly breathing. (13:32) You're not really breathing into your belly but you're bringing that breath into the base of your lungs where the vagus nerve innervates. (13:40) And that vagus nerve is the queen of the parasympathetic nervous system.(13:44) And this matters because when you are in fight or flight stress, you are in sympathetic storm. (13:50) And what needs to happen is getting over into parasympathetic calm. (13:55) So I'm in the woods.(13:56) I'm asking nature to support me here. (13:59) I'm grounding my energy. (14:01) I'm feeling the grass on my feet.(14:04) I felt the cold dew of the morning on my feet, the wet. (14:10) And I closed my eyes and I took three deep intentional breaths. (14:16) And then I did what I teach in one of my programs called Radical Happiness for Women Practitioners, dental and medical practitioners.(14:26) And I took the elevator up. (14:29) And what that is, it is pulling my awareness out of my body, up, up, up, back, back, back, higher, higher, higher, 50,000 foot perspective to where I could see myself, my body above myself. (14:50) I'm literally floating 50,000 feet above myself.(14:54) Glass elevator all the way up. (14:56) And the miracle about this glass elevator is it can see perspective over space and time. (15:05) So I'm looking at myself standing in the woods just a few feet from my practice.(15:10) My practice was on the edge of some woods. (15:12) I can see my practice. (15:15) I can see the patients coming in and out.(15:18) I can see the money exchange happening. (15:22) Every patient, I can see them processing their credit cards. (15:25) I can see them saying yes to treatment plans.(15:28) I can see my car in the parking lot that I drive home to this incredible family, how lucky I am, how grateful I am. (15:37) I've created this home, this oasis for myself. (15:42) Every night I see myself driving home.(15:45) I see my team member who just gave her two weeks' notice dreaming of her life, excited to go on this adventure with her boyfriend, starting out on their own lives. (15:56) I see her telling other women how she had such a great place that she worked, how she loved the support and the good work that they did there. (16:08) I see her telling friends.(16:10) I see her posting on Instagram. (16:13) I see other women in the community seeing the post and saying, oh, my gosh, she's leaving. (16:19) Is there an opening at that orthodontic practice?(16:23) I see news spreading. (16:26) I see that when I bring my heart and love to my practice, it is a magnet, not just to patients, but to other people, to women who are aligned who want to work in that environment. (16:41) I see other women working in other dental practices that are miserable, that are working through lunch, that don't have an opportunity to breathe, that aren't recognized, that aren't valued.(16:52) And I see them looking for another dental home, another work environment to work in where they're valued, and I see them looking for me. (17:02) And then I looked back over my life and I saw everything always worked out. (17:09) Were there hard times?(17:10) Yes. (17:11) Did I always have the answer? (17:12) No.(17:13) In the middle of it, I often didn't, but hindsight was always 20-20. (17:18) I looked back and I saw how a new, better opportunity always came into place. (17:24) Every single time.(17:26) And then I realized I'm in one of those moments right now. (17:30) I can't see how this plays out. (17:33) But what I do know is when I recognize that everything happens for my highest good, that where there's a vacancy, there's always an energy that fills that vacancy.(17:45) I don't always know what it is. (17:48) But every time someone left my practice, some team member left my practice, there was another team member that stepped in with new, fresh energy that was even better. (17:59) That brought with them a gift I had no idea about.(18:04) All I needed to do was lean into the truth of the pattern that was always my story. (18:11) Every single time. (18:13) And I still had so much love around me.(18:15) I still had so much support around me. (18:17) I was still sitting as the owner of my practice in the power seat to make decisions. (18:24) And tomorrow I could change the calendar and the schedule if I wanted to.(18:29) I was still sitting in a place of so much empowerment. (18:34) It shifted everything. (18:36) It shifted everything.(18:37) We had a beautiful celebration for her. (18:39) Because I was in this place and this energy of love and trust, I wrote an Indeed ad that I had never written before. (18:49) This very casual, warm, just conversational ad that spoke to so many women.(18:57) I posted it on Facebook. (18:58) We had about 10 women come in for an interview, and I kid you not, every one of them was good. (19:05) I couldn't believe it.(19:06) I stopped taking the interviews after the fourth one, but by accident we forgot to call the others. (19:12) They kept coming in. (19:14) We suddenly had three women lined up who all said, I want to work here.(19:20) They all wanted to be a part of them. (19:21) I said, oh my gosh, we filled three positions. (19:25) I thought instead of having just one person replaced, I needed another one.(19:30) I was already looking for another one. (19:31) Let's have a backup. (19:32) Let's have a dearth.(19:33) Let's have too many women working here. (19:36) In case someone ever does that again, it was the best decision I ever made. (19:40) I learned a lesson that day.(19:42) I learned to always have an excess of women working for me. (19:46) Did it even touch my bottom line? (19:49) I mean, I'm sure it did, but I had so much peace.(19:52) We made so much more money that year. (19:54) It was amazing. (19:55) I always from that moment on had a floater.(19:58) And every woman in the practice would go through the floater position, and they were excited because one day they'd be in the floater position. (20:05) And the floater automatically learned everyone's jobs because one day she'd need to be up front because the front desk person had a child who was sick. (20:15) And one day she was in the lab because that person had a flat tire.(20:20) The floater learned everybody's positions. (20:24) So in the future when someone gave their notice, boom, I already had a backup. (20:30) That team member, one of the best team members I ever had, giving her two-week notice changed the way I ran my practice.(20:38) Not only did I invite a new energy in, but I shifted the paradigm and the business model that was so supportive of my practice for the rest of time. (20:50) I could never have seen that. (20:52) I could never have seen that.(20:53) Had I not been in that really present, positive, trusting energy, I would never have written an Indeed job opportunity in that casual tone. (21:07) I was just feeling so much love and hope that I was speaking to that woman who wanted to work for my beautiful, beautiful practice. (21:17) And I spoke from that space.(21:19) And the ripple effect was incredible. (21:24) So now I invite you, your future self made this promise to yourself, and now you're coming to this minute in the exercise in the podcast, this minute right here. (21:35) Welcome back.(21:37) You made this promise to yourself to get outside, to get your feet in the grass, and now you are turning on this podcast for this practice, and I celebrate you. (21:46) So bravo, my friend. (21:48) You've already done 90% of this.(21:52) You've honored yourself. (21:55) You've honored the possibility that you are more powerful than you've been giving yourself credit for. (22:02) Feel the grass, the dirt, the rocks, wherever you are standing, under your feet, and close your eyes.(22:11) And take a nice deep breath in through your nose. (22:17) Breathing into the base of your lungs, keeping your shoulders down, and hold. (22:23) Hold that breath.(22:24) Feel the fullness in your lungs. (22:27) Hold it. (22:29) And now fully, fully exhale all the way, keeping your eyes closed.(22:34) Don't worry what anybody else thinks about you. (22:38) This is your moment. (22:40) Let it all go.(22:42) This is only about you. (22:44) Another deep breath in through your nose. (22:47) All the way, all the way, all the way, all the way, all the way, all the way, all the way.(22:51) Hold it. (22:54) Hold it. (22:56) Feel how good it feels to have lungs that are full.(22:59) You are breathing. (23:00) Thank you, body. (23:01) Exhale.(23:02) Blow that air out through your mouth and feel how good it feels. (23:05) Take the ride. (23:07) Enjoy exhaling, letting it go.(23:13) At the bottom of this breath, take one more deep inhale. (23:17) Breathe all the way into the base of your lungs. (23:21) You are alive.(23:22) Thank you, body, for being alive. (23:24) Thank you, lungs, for breathing. (23:26) We forgot, we forgot how lucky we are to be alive.(23:31) You are alive. (23:32) Hold this breath. (23:33) Feel the fullness in your lungs.(23:35) Thank you, heart, for keeping on beating. (23:38) Thank you, sun, for shining down on me. (23:41) Maybe the rain.(23:42) Thank you, rain. (23:43) The world woke up this morning, even though this problem is here. (23:48) Exhale everything out.(23:51) Just go back to your natural breathing pattern, keeping your eyes closed. (24:03) Just notice your body, even if it feels 1% lighter. (24:08) Notice the calm.(24:16) This is the power you have to regulate your nervous system, even 1% lighter, 1% calmer is everything. (24:27) Now I invite you to take that elevator up. (24:31) Ride up in a glass elevator that takes you up, up, up, up, up, up, up, 50,000 foot perspective, looking down at you, where you are.(24:43) See your body standing there. (24:47) See your beautiful body that today is as young and healthy as it will ever be. (24:57) See yourself as powerful as you will ever be.(25:04) See the abundance around you. (25:06) See your home. (25:07) See your practice.(25:08) See your job. (25:09) See your friends. (25:10) See your family.(25:12) See the love and support that is there now. (25:22) Look at the past, at how far you've come, at all the obstacles you've overcome. (25:28) Look at the incredible things, the challenges that you have overcome.(25:37) Look at how far you've come, how much you've learned. (25:41) It's incredible. (25:43) Honor the past, the journey you have walked.(25:49) You are amazing. (25:51) You have learned so much. (25:53) You have come so far.(25:55) It didn't look at all like what you thought it would look like. (25:59) But you are here today. (26:01) And look at the circumstances surrounding what you perceive as the problem right now.(26:10) Maybe it's something at work. (26:12) Maybe it's something at home. (26:14) Maybe it's something in your own body.(26:18) And see it for what it is. (26:20) This moment in time. (26:24) What is the truth?(26:31) I'm going to give you this moment. (26:32) What is the truth? (26:40) Not what is the fear.(26:42) Not what is everyone else saying. (26:45) Not what is the story that has been repeated over and over and over in your life. (26:52) What is the truth?(27:01) And now, can you look into the future? (27:06) There's not just one possibility. (27:10) There are a myriad of possibilities living in the unknown.(27:17) The truth is, life has never gone in the direction you expect it to. (27:26) So how could we ever anticipate what tomorrow holds? (27:31) The truth is, there is more abundance and possibility in the unknown than you could ever imagine.(27:44) That is possibility. (27:48) That is where we put hope. (27:53) That is where we put trust.(27:55) And that hope and that trust is contingent on you finding that in your body now. (28:07) You don't need anything in your outer environment to change because it's already there. (28:15) Notice the support you do have.(28:20) Not just in the people right in front of you. (28:24) But in the people and the systems that you have cultivated over time. (28:30) In your support.(28:33) The Facebook groups. (28:35) The attorneys. (28:36) The accountants.(28:38) The financial advisors. (28:39) The parents. (28:40) The sisters.(28:42) The residents. (28:43) The co-residents. (28:44) The friends.(28:45) The children who are our greatest teachers. (28:49) The podcasts. (28:51) There is so much support.(28:56) Look at what you're sitting in. (29:02) Hold that truth. (29:12) Because miracles are on their way.(29:16) They always have been. (29:19) So take a nice deep breath here in and breathe the truth of that in. (29:24) That everything has always worked out for you.(29:27) Hindsight is 20-20 because when we look back we see, oh my gosh. (29:32) That worked out exactly as it needed to. (29:34) You are creating that sense of hindsight by taking that elevator up.(29:41) Breathe it in. (29:44) And on this exhale let go of all the stress. (29:48) Let it go even 1% more.(29:53) And notice a new perspective. (29:56) A new truth. (29:59) Right there.(30:02) That is everything. (30:07) When you're ready, slowly open your eyes. (30:11) And look at the world from a new body.(30:16) From a new perspective. (30:20) You've got this. (30:23) You've got this.(30:25) Let this be your practice anytime you find yourself overwhelmed by a problem. (30:34) Because you are so much more powerful than you think. (30:37) And when you feel good, that is when you can do good.(30:44) Bye-bye. (30:47) Thank you for listening to the Business of Happiness podcast. (30:51) If this episode brought you new perspective and value, I invite you to subscribe so that you catch all upcoming episodes.(31:00) And leave us a review. (31:01) And if you know of a friend or colleague who could benefit from this perspective, share this episode with them and empower their day. (31:09) For more information about the Business of Happiness and the Radical Happiness for Practitioners course, find me on www.thebizofhappiness.com.(31:20) See you there.