In Episode 10, we talk all about Positive redirection and all the amazing things that it can offer our Montessori Practice with our babies and toddlers. We discuss things like...
I had so much fun recording Episode 10 of the Montessori Babies Podcast! If you enjoyed and think it may be helpful to someone you know, I would love it if you would leave a review and share with your friends and family!
👉 [FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP] Fostering Independence from Infancy to Toddlerhood - Join here!
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Xoxo,
Bianca A. Solorzano, M.Ed.
Baby Development & Montessori Consultant
And Your Baby Tour Guide
In Episode 10, we talk all about Positive redirection and all the amazing things that it can offer our Montessori Practice with our babies and toddlers. We discuss things like...
I had so much fun recording Episode 10 of the Montessori Babies Podcast! If you enjoyed and think it may be helpful to someone you know, I would love it if you would leave a review and share with your friends and family!
👉 [FREE PARENTING WORKSHOP] Fostering Independence from Infancy to Toddlerhood - Join here!
👉 BLOG https://www.babytourguide.com/
👉 INSTA https://www.instagram.com/babytourguide/
Xoxo,
Bianca A. Solorzano, M.Ed.
Baby Development & Montessori Consultant
And Your Baby Tour Guide
Bianca: [00:00:38] Hello everyone. Welcome to Episode 10 Montessori Babies. I don't know about you, but for me this feels like a big milestone. You know, we're ten episodes and it feels like I started it just yesterday and I'm just really, really grateful that we're here. So this week we're talking all about positive redirection. I'm really excited about this because positive redirection, it feels like I do it all day long. And I'm sorry for those of you who are practicing it or, you know, working with infants and toddlers, I'm sure you feel like you are doing, you know, some form of redirection all day long or, you know, just we're guiding them naturally. But babies are just such natural explorers and, you know, little scientists. And so they're always trying to, manipulate things and get into things. And so we're redirecting a lot. Right? So positive redirection is an amazing way to teach our babies what they can do versus what they cannot do, while obviously emphasizing on the positive what they can, because what they are learning, you know, they're learning about their world and they're learning about what they can and can't do. And so when we focus on the positive and within the positive, they respond really well to it. And there's actually a lot of research based evidence that shows that that children are far more receptive to the positive direction and the positive discipline and the positive reinforcement versus the alternative.
Bianca: [00:02:08] And I will say having worked with infants and toddlers in a variety of settings over, I'm in my second decade now, which feels insane. But just having had a lot of experience in the day to day grind of things, doing positive redirection, you know, with all types of children from all types of backgrounds, with all different temperaments and personalities, you know, it just is such a peaceful way to help them learn, you know, and help set those those boundaries, which help give them security. And I've seen really beautiful things come out of it. And so I definitely am excited to talk about these ten amazing facts of positive redirection. So let's jump into it. I want to start with the term actually positive redirection and positive discipline, because one thing that stuck in my brain and that I think about actually a lot is just the idea of what discipline is. So discipline comes from the Latin word discipline. I think I said that right. Pardon me if I didn't say that right or just send me a how to if you do know how to, you know, pronounce that. But anyway, so discipline in Latin translates to instruction in training. And so when you look at it kind of just from that sense, you know, discipline can be a really scary word, especially for, you know, when it comes to, quote, disciplining babies and toddlers, you know, because they're still pretty unconscious learners as they, you know, veer into toddlerhood, they become more conscious about their processes.
Bianca: [00:03:55] But, you know, they're unconsciously absorbing their world. And so when you think about disciplining, you know, it can be a scary term, especially for, you know, what we know, discipline to be. We think of discipline like, you know, the discipline that you received in school and you had to pull your card to the yellow and then the red or, you know, the discipline being you're grounded or, you know, the discipline being you know, you lost these privileges this week or, you know, whatever it is, whatever you have come to, no discipline to be disciplined in that sense is just comes from the root word of learning and instruction. And I think if we take that approach, when we look at this term as a whole, as a positive discipline, positive redirection. It's a really positive way to teach them in their day to day processes, which is, you know, our job, as the guide says, the parent or the educator or the caregiver who's working with this child. You know, that's our whole job, is to teach them to to help them learn to help them understand what's safe and not safe. And, you know, we want them to freely explore their environments and be as safe as possible, which is where things like the prepared environment come into play. But, you know, when it comes to.
Bianca: [00:05:16] All environments, there will be some sense of, you know, limit setting, like in my classroom, for example, I had a lot of safety limits and it was just to keep everyone as safe as possible, you know, within the environment. And I will give you some very detailed examples as we venture into our 10 points in honor of our 10th episode. So here are the ten amazing facts of positive redirection starting now, fact number one, which I'm sure you know, for those of you who are familiar with this and even just within dissecting the term, you can kind of kind of get what this idea is about. But benefit number one, it shows the child what he can do. Now, this sounds like a really simple idea, but it's glorious. And in the world of redirection and in the world of, you know, teaching a child and. Especially coming from working with infants, you see a lot of the. No, no, no, no, don't do that. No, no, no, don't do that. And it's instinctive, right? Like, I. I know when I was initially starting in this field and I started working with the the young toddler that I was working with, that's the instinct. That's what I know. That's what I've always seen, you know. And so it's natural to say no because we think, you know, when we aren't allowed to do something or when some you know, there's a sign out on the street that says something like no skateboarding.
Bianca: [00:06:53] You know, it's no, don't do this, no, don't do that. But there's actually so many amazing things that can come out of just addressing it from focusing on what the child can do versus what he cannot do. And even, you know, in regards to something simple, like, you know, your child is throwing food off of their highchair, say they're there in a highchair and they're throwing food off of their highchair. The difference between, you know, positive redirection and addressing it on the other side of it, which is the, you know, no, don't. If you say something like the food stays on your tray just every time the food stays on your tray, all that does is it shows the child that this food stays on their tray. And at that time, you know, babies, their little scientists. And that's kind of what's kept me peaceful when they start to test boundaries. And, you know, they're starting to you know, I spent so much time on this meal and it was just like, you know, tucked off the side of the table, you know, something like that. I'm sure you guys have dealt with something similar. But essentially, the way that I look at it is just, you know, this child's exploring their world. They're learning about it by learning about their world. And my job is to teach them about, you know, the the goodness and their kindness, but also the limits and, you know, what they can do with their bodies, what they can do with this food.
Bianca: [00:08:24] You know, they can leave it on their tray, they can eat it, they can bring it to their mouth. They can use their hands and bring it to their mouth. You know, there are a lot of different ways to phrase it. But essentially, the more that, you know, we rephrase the negatives, not like, OK, stop throwing enough, stop throwing it off versus your food stays on your tray. You know, even just addressing it from that, it'll keep us more peaceful and I'll keep them more peaceful and it'll be less of a fight and a struggle and more of just the repetition of, hey, this stays on your chain. And eventually, with the purposeful limits that we set and this purposeful language that we're offering, they'll get the idea, you know, and then what's awesome and what helps Segway into point number two is that it allows more emphasis on the word no. So when we use the word no all day with our babies than our toddlers, the umph behind that word, Wesson's, you know, and it makes sense. It's kind of like the you know, you tell everybody they're your best friend. But, you know, like realistically, if everybody heard that you're telling everybody they're your best friend, you know, then it'll feel a little bit like, hey, like this is used a lot, you know? Well, babies and toddlers aren't consciously, you know, thinking about it like that, but they are learning with the same of behind words.
Bianca: [00:09:48] So when we use that and really purposeful situations, which is what I like to reserve the word know for, then the word has a lot more behind it, you know what I mean? So, for example, if you're offering these positive redirection phrases right, so you're focusing on the positive redirection all day long, you know, then when something actually happens like a safety issue, say, for example, you know, your child climbs to the top of your kitchen table and is, you know, standing straight up that's, you know, dangerous, you know, so they could fall off. So then, you know, help their body. You know, you tell them the table is for eating or you can start by saying no and say no. The table is for eating. You know, when it comes to the word no, it's really helpful if we reserve it for things like safety. Yeah. Keeping each other safe in regards to, you know, where the child explores his own limits, you know, as far as climbing on furniture, running really far, or trying to, you know, run away or, you know, that kind of thing when those types of things or in relation to other people. So when if they attempt some sort of, you know, hitting behavior or her pulling behavior or something like that, and we'll talk a lot more about figuring out where those those behaviors stand from in a later episode.
Bianca: [00:11:16] And we touched on it a little bit and observation in the last episode in Episode nine. But when we are. Able to kind of reserve that no word for things that, you know, would we could really use it and it could really help the child learn in a in a quicker way for those types of situations than it's totally worth it, you know? And so when we're offering the child what he can do all day long as they're exploring and as they're, you know, just learning throughout their day to day activities, then it helps leave that special no word for situations that absolutely need it, you know, and now leading into point number three, it offers positivity within natural experiences. I cannot tell you enough how drastically different I felt when I was taking this approach with my kids versus sitting on the other end of the nose all day long and sitting on the other end like, you can't do this. Even just expressing the nose and expressing the constant. I can't let you do this. I can't let you do this. I can't let you do this. You know, that kind of thing. It takes a toll on you. It's exhausting. You know, it's hard it's hard to be in that state because you just want to be fine and live in their world.
Bianca: [00:12:43] And, you know, but we also have to teach them. That's also part of our role. And so it's hard. But when you take that shift, when you start to even just approach every interaction from what they can do from that positive redirections standpoint, you yourself will feel lighter. I know for me it felt like, you know, a weight was lifted off my shoulders that I was able to just fully just kind of be. And then the positive redirection language became more instinctive as I did it initially. It feels a little bit funky, just kind of like when you when you transition any sort of language, when you're working with kids, it is funky, feels funky if it's not what you're accustomed to. But after a while of implementing it, I can honestly say this from experience. After a while of implementing, it becomes natural, it becomes what you know to do. And then what you used to do would become foreign. But it'll kind of sit in this. I used to do that kind of place. And so if you just make that effort to offer that positive redirection type language within every situation you possibly can, it'll just make things so much lighter. And so and so segueing into point number four, babies already want to learn what they can or cannot do.
Bianca: [00:14:05] This point I wanted to put out there because our our kids come out hardwired to learn about their world, to learn about, you know, the beauties of it, everything about it, but also what they can and cannot do. They want to learn, you know, how to be as safe as possible. And even if it's an unconscious thing and even if they're testing it, you know, all the time, you know, they want to learn how things work and how we can safely interact. And, you know, all of this is unconscious. It's an unconscious learning process. You know, they're just absorbing everything. But that's the entire purpose of the first few years of their life, is to just learn about it. And so when we offer the what they can do, we're just really feeding that natural purpose. And it's really beautiful. And so point number five, positive redirection prevent shaming with our unconscious learners. So somewhere between infancy and late toddlerhood, our young children become more conscious about their learning process and the way that we interact with them. And they become more conscious learners toward the end of toddlerhood into early childhood. And a part of that process is learning about who the world is to them and who they are to the world. And when we phrase things that they can't do in a positive way. So showing them what they can do, it's empowering versus, you know, on the other end can be, you know, shameful, you know, and it's tough.
Bianca: [00:15:50] It's tough when, you know, you're working with multiple children and you're trying really hard to, you know, keep kids safe and together and peaceful and happy. Or if you have kids yourself who, you know, are testing limits within each other and that kind of thing, it's hard. It's really hard. But the beautiful thing about positive redirection is that it's empowering in that way. It's empowering to these young learners who are learning about themselves, who are at a time in their life. They're learning about who they are to the world and who the world is to them. And so when we look at it like that, it becomes this powerful tool that we have in our pockets to teach them and empower them all at the same time. And it ends up being just really, really cool. Cool thing, this cool interaction, and, yeah, like I said, it becomes habitual, so once you start practicing it, I assure you it will flow naturally within your day to day experiences. So leading into point number six, consistent limit setting offers our babies a sense of security. So this is actually a point that I was so excited to learn when I learned that, you know, when were you worried? Like, I was just needing this piece of information and now it's here and I have it and it just.
Bianca: [00:17:13] Gave so much meaning to the day to day, you know, redirection that I was doing, and that's actually it's something that I learned in my Montessori training. But as most of you know, if you've listened to earlier episodes, I did my Montessori training before I obtained my degrees and my higher education. So I was obtaining my bachelor's degree at the time that I did my Montessori training. And then I finished my bachelor's degree and my specialty afterwards. So I got, you know, to study child development after I did the birth to three Montessori emphasis in the Army training. And it was so cool to see that, you know, especially this point that, you know, Dr. Montessori emphasized that the child is secure and safe within these limits. And the same thing, it was consistent in the world of child development. It was, you know, the high warmth, high limits is how children thrive the most. And when you offer, you know, this positive redirection within it, it's just this really beautiful learning experience as they're, you know, trying to figure out their world. And so what's cool is we now know, you know, that children really thrive off of the consistent limit setting. And, you know, the positive redirection is a tool that we have in our pocket to help set those limits and to help help keep our children safe and our environments flowing. And, yeah, everything just really peaceful and together.
Bianca: [00:18:47] So point number seven is it keeps their learning positive. So one of Dr. Montessori’s main goals was to continue to foster that innate will to learn and that innate love of learning. Because if you've seen an infant, you know, who is newly into their world, they explore in this really glorious way and this grandiose daily way. They're always exploring and getting into things and shaking things and moving things around and scrunching things that their hands and seeing how far they can go with their bodies. And, you know, they're just so exploring. And the idea was to continue to foster that and offer an education that mirrors that and meet them not just where they're at, but just those next levels. Right. To stimulate a little bit so that they could be successful at it. And so when we're offering things like positive reader action within their day to day experiences, as they're learning about everything, we're offering a really positive experience so we can continue to foster that innate love of learning. And it ends up being this just again, I know I've said this so many times within this episode. You're really beautiful and peaceful thing. And yeah, I guess I can't stress that enough is that it ends up being a really beautiful, peaceful life. So quick side note, as I enter into point number eight, one question that I get a lot from clients is how to start positive redirection when they have been doing, you know, something a little bit more like they knew growing up.
Bianca: [00:20:26] I'm like the nose. They're just kind of following them and saying, no, no, no, honey, you know, that kind of thing, how to transition into something like positive reader action from something like that. And the short answer is yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, you can. I have received plenty of children who've come from all sorts of parenting styles and approaches and backgrounds. And when you just kind of start when you start approaching things in a certain way and it becomes what they know, there's always some sort of transition period, you know, getting used to it for yourself with the language for your child with this new, you know, approach. But eventually it will just become what they know and what you know. And, yeah, it's a it's a simpler transition than a lot of other transitions. It's just a language approach. And you can see results pretty quickly actually within this, because, for example, if you find yourself redirecting things like, you know, misusing materials, for example, or toys and, you know, your child just loves to throw, you know, and you find yourself saying, no, no, honey, you know, we have to be gentle with our toys or, you know, that kind of thing. If you just put out a ball basket and every time they throw, just redirect to the balls, just say something like, if you want to throw, I see you have an urge to throw.
Bianca: [00:21:55] If you want to throw, you can throw balls and just hand them the balls and then modeled how to put their material back on the shelf. Or maybe, you know, if they're a toddler, we can you can have them put it back on the shelf with you and then let's do play lets you know and you can even yourself get. Really excited and model how to throw the balls, because that is the material that you get to throw, you know. So when you start to do it, the you know, your children will just respond and it'll become what they know and what you know. And it ends up being really peaceful and beautiful. So my ninth point has to do with language, actually, and just that there's so much emphasis in this language approach in the positive redirection language approach that we're offering experiences that are language rich, which is a super positive thing. And so we are quite No.9 empowering the child through our language. So the way that we're doing that is we are offering these phrases combined with the actual, you know, redirection piece of, I guess, sticking to that throwing balls versus materials example where saying something along the lines of if you want to throw something, you can throw this ball and we're offering, you know, a language lesson within their day to day experience.
Bianca: [00:23:17] Right. And with something that's as simple as ball, you can throw this ball, throw this ball, you know, so we're offering the. You can, you can. You can. This is positive. You can you can you can do this with this. Do this with this. And so it seems like, you know, simple. But they're learning about their world and we're saying the chair is for sitting in the chairs, for sitting, you know, say that your child is pushing the chair around and he, you know, flies over the back occasionally. And so you set that limit of he has to sit in the chair at his table or the chair stays at the table. Right. And so if he starts to push it, he's pushing it around and you see that he's pushing it around, then you just kind of, you know, stop that action. And then you just say something like the chairs for sitting, let's stick it back together and you take it back. And then you offer him something like a pushcart or one of them, you know, push toys, push pull toys for the redirection piece. And so there's so many language, rich opportunities within the positive redirection realm, a lot more so than the no no's, just because you're offering all of these this instead opportunity. So a lot of language rich opportunities within this, which is just amazing because language nutrition predicts so many things for later on.
Bianca: [00:24:37] So, again, just amazing. And finally, number ten, positive redirection offers an optimal understanding at a developmentally appropriate level. So we're being extremely real with our our babies in our toddlers by helping them see what they can do with said actions, what they can do with, you know, say they're climbing something. So what they can do with their body at that point, you know, so we're offering these redirection pieces at a developmentally appropriate level. So as they're trying something, we're offering this redirection peace and meeting them where they need to be met, which is the most Montessori thing. And, you know, I've done this positive reaction. I've done it in both the home setting and the school settings. And it is a really beautiful thing. Wherever you are. It just offers are sweet babies. And our sweet toddler is just amazing opportunities to learn about themselves and about their world while being empowered while being fed language. Well, you know, gaining stronger senses of attachment because we're there, we're redirecting, you know, and we're just giving them those just wonderfully rich opportunities to to learn to learn about their new world. And and so last week, I ended on a quote, and I really enjoyed that. And it seems like I got some good responses from you guys as well. And so what I want to do every week is and I think it's just really inspirational, an inspirational way to give us some thought between this episode and next episode.
Bianca: [00:26:28] So this week's quote is by the one and only Dr. Maria. I'm sorry. I will be sharing quotes by other theorists and people in this field just because I feel like the more that we research and, you know, fill our our cups with all things within this field will be able to just fine tune our practice, our Montessori practice and give our kids the best, the best foundation we possibly can. But the secret is by Dr. Montessori, and it's one of my favorites of hers. It says education is a natural process carried out by the child and is not acquired by listening to words, but by experiences in the environment. Dr. Maria Montessori. And I just feel like this is the perfect quote to end this episode, because we were talking about our babies experiencing what they can and cannot do within the environment, guided by the positive direction and positive reinforcement and positive discipline that we provide as their parents, educators and caregivers. So thank you so much for listening to Episode 10 you episode 10. I'm so grateful for everyone who's been so supportive of this show. If you have any friends or family who have young infants, toddlers, young children and just want to learn more about Montessori babies, please give this a share and I will catch you in the next episode. Bye.
Bianca: [00:28:02] Hey, it's Bianca, your baby tour guide here. Hopping back in to say thank you again for listening to this episode of Montessori Babies. If you found this episode helpful and would like more information on over the Baby Tour Guide Dotcom and download my three Montessori guide to join our community and receive the latest on optimizing development through a Montessori lens. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook at Baby Tour Guide. Also, if you found this episode helpful to your Montessori practice, I would absolutely love it if you would leave a review to help other parents and educators find our show. Thanks again for listening and I will catch you in the next episode, Bye.