How to Show Love

What if showing love every day could transform your life in profound ways? Join me on Holly's Highlights as we embark on a heartfelt journey to make love an integral part of our daily lives. We'll unpack the benefits of showing love, some of the challenges we face in doing so, and dive deep into fourteen ways we can show love to others around us. 

This episode is sure to enrich your life by enhancing your emotional well-being, strengthening relationships, fostering personal growth, and even boosting your physical health. Together, we'll explore the power of understanding and accepting others' experiences, even amid disagreements. Discover how vulnerability and safe spaces for genuine conversations can deepen connections. We'll discuss why loving oneself is crucial for loving others, and how celebrating joy and achievements can fortify our bonds. 

Finally, we tackle the languages of love, inviting you to explore different expressions to deepen your connections. 

Join the 30-day How to Show Love challenge.
https://mailchi.mp/b023f8b5d757/how-to-show-love

Chapters

• 0:01 Showing Love Every Day
• 11:33 Loving Through Actions and Understanding
• 26:31 The Greatest of These Is Love

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast designed to encourage, inspire and equip you to intentionally live your life full of purpose. I'm your host, holly Kirby, motivational speaker, leadership cultivator, marketing strategist and personal cheerleader. Let's check out today's highlights.

Speaker 2: 0:21

Oprah Winfrey said, when you make loving others the story of your life, there's never a final chapter because the legacy continues. You lend your light to one person and he or she shines it on to another, and another, and another. I welcome you to join the 30 day challenge on showing love to others. Not sure where to start? Simply click on the link in the show notes to join the challenge and receive the 30 day challenge challenge how to Show Loved Others Printable PDF, or find the link in today's episode on wwwhollykirbycom under podcast. Join the challenge today and let's start showing the love that we hope to see in this world.

Speaker 2: 1:00

I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day last week. I know I sure enjoy loving on my munchkins and my family and even my team at work. It's just such a fun day. Something I strive to do every day, but especially for Valentine's Day, is always decorate the house for my kiddos inside and out and do something theme oriented. So I've done before where I've shared with you one of my favorites, which is where I bought them each a star and then had it named something in their honor and decorated their bedroom doors with star cutouts, listing attributes that shine in each of them and putting the glow in the dark stars all over their bedroom ceilings, and then, that night, set up outside for us to go look out for that star their star through the telescope. So I just love loving on my children. Now, today, though, we're going to look at showing love not just on a certain day of the year, but in our everyday life. When I graduated with my master's in leadership and management, people kept asking what are you going to do with your new degree? Well, the only response I had was I just wanted to love on people, however I may.

Speaker 2: 2:11

Showing love to others has many benefits to all involved, but especially five. First one it helps our emotional well-being. So love brings warmth and comfort and security. It can reduce stress and promote happiness and even help with mental health. Feeling loved and loving others creates a sense of belonging and even a sense of purpose. Second one is it builds stronger relationships. Now, whether it be romantic or family relationships or friendships, love deepens these connections and strengthens those bonds. People are more likely to feel valued and supported when love is expressed to them. A third way is encouraging growth. Love can motivate personal growth and change. It inspires people to be their best selves and to reach higher, both for themselves and for others selves, and to reach higher both for themselves and for others. A fourth way that helps is promoting compassion. When you show love, it often encourages a cycle of kindness and compassion. In a world where there's so much negativity and hardship, love sure can become a way of counteracting that can't it and just creating more harmony. And then, finally, it improves physical health. Studies show that positive relationships and showing affection can actually have physical health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and improving immune function.

Speaker 2: 3:37

Now there are many attributes of love, as we see in 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 8, that love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude, it does not insist on its own way, it's not irritable or resentful, and it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. But how do we show love? And not just on Valentine's Day or during the month of February, but genuinely show love every day in our life? Well, in honor of February 14th being the day of love, we're going to look at 14 meaningful ways that you could show love to others in your life, whether that be in the workplace, in your home, with your friends at church, school or simply day-to-day tasks such as checking out at the grocery store or returning a book at the library.

Speaker 2: 4:27

The first one is practice active listening. This matters because we're able to show love often if it starts with truly hearing someone. Active listening means being fully present and engaged when someone is speaking, without distractions but also without judgment. And how we can apply this is putting away our phone, maintaining eye contact, give that undivided attention, respond with empathy and ask follow up questions to show that you're really engaged in processing what they've shared. One way I try to exhibit this to my children is to physically stop what I'm doing when they enter a room to talk to me. Then I make eye contact and even turn my body language to point toward them as they talk, and then engage with affirming sounds or words such as oh, uh-huh, or even asking clarifying questions. A second way is to be present and asking clarifying questions. A second way is to be present. It matters because showing love means being there emotionally and physically. When we're present, we validate the other person's experiences and show them that they matter. We often see this when going to our children's games. You see often that people will be on their phones and even though we're there, our kids know we're not there, so it's putting away the phone, looking up and giving them our undivided attention so that they can see that we're engaged and a part of what they're going through, what they're experiencing. So just like that. How do we apply it? Put away the distractions when spending time with others, whether it be with friends, family members or even colleagues, much like the act of listening we just discussed. Give them your full attention and show that you value the time together.

Speaker 2: 6:13

Number three express gratitude. It matters because gratitude is a beautiful way to show love and appreciation for the people in your life. When you express thanks, it deepens the connection and it makes the other person feel valued. How we can apply it is simply by taking a moment to thank someone for their help, thanking them for being present with us or even thanking them for their influence in our life, whether it's through a heartfelt thank you note, a text or in person. Acknowledging their impact makes them feel special.

Speaker 2: 6:46

Number four offer emotional support. Why it matters is showing love means being there for someone, but especially in tough times, offering a listening ear, a comforting word or even a quiet presence can be incredibly healing for those who need it. Simple ways to apply this is, when someone is going through a difficult time, simply being there to listen without judgment, and showing profound love. Offer the empathy and let them know that they're not alone, whether by providing advice or just offering your presence alone I know when my mom passed away or just offering your presence alone. I know when my mom passed away. This is one that a friend did. That really stood out to me is I just needed to look through my closet for something to wear to the funeral and I think she grabbed food to come over. I really don't remember much of that day, but I do remember her just hopping up on my bed and just being present as she just watched me pull out all these different things from my closet. It didn't matter if she brought food or not, it didn't matter if I found the perfect thing to wear. What mattered is she was offering that emotional support of just being there.

Speaker 2: 7:55

Number five be understanding and patient. Why does it matter? Well, love thrives in environments of patience and understanding. No one is perfect, and showing love means accepting others' flaws and offering grace, because, you know, that's what we'd want to receive as well and how we can apply it is when a loved one is struggling or makes a mistake, respond with compassion rather than criticism. Give people the space to be themselves and don't expect perfection. One thing I like to say is allow people to fail forward, knowing that you're going to be there. You're going to be there to catch them, you're going to be there to help, pick them back up, or simply use one of the previous of just being there, offering that support, emotionally or physically presence, but just being understanding and patient in the process.

Speaker 2: 8:51

Number six forgive and let go. Why does this matter? Well, love doesn't hold grudges and it's easy to harbor resentment, but letting go of past hurts is essential for healthy relationships. Forgiveness opens the door for healing and even reconnection. It doesn't mean there's always going to be a reconnection, but at least it opens the door for healing and that's important for both parties. How we can apply it is if someone has wronged, you choose to forgive, not for their sake it's not saying that what they did was okay or justifying it, or excusing it or allowing it but it's for your own peace of mind. So let go of negative emotions that just might prevent you from fully loving others.

Speaker 2: 9:39

Number seven support their dreams and goals. Why it matters is because supporting someone's aspirations shows love and encourages them to be their best selves. When you champion their dreams, it shows you care about their personal growth and happiness. How can we apply this? Well, whether it's offering encouragement or practical help, support others in pursuing their dreams, help them celebrate their achievements and be there to cheer them on through their challenges. I always want to be those around me, their biggest advocate, their biggest cheerleader, because I love, whether it be at work, seeing people rise up even more or higher than I am. I want to see them excel, but, of course, with my own family and especially my children, I want to see them soar. So don't worry about blowing out someone else's candles to make your shine even brighter. That's not how it works. Support others' dreams and goals because you want what's best for them. That's love.

Speaker 2: 10:43

Number eight create a safe, nonjudgmental space Now, we've mentioned this a few times without criticism in different aspects. Why does it matter? People show their love by creating safe spaces where others feel comfortable, being vulnerable and authentic. A nonjudgmental space is where people can express themselves without fear of criticism. We want people to be genuinely who they are and to be able to relax. I love for people to come over to my home and just feel a safe space. My kids have had friends all throughout their lifetime that have come over here and seen our home as their safety net, and I'm so thankful for that, because that's where we're able to have some deep conversations. That's also where healing can begin, is where people feel safe.

Speaker 2: 11:33

So how do you apply it? Be open and accepting of others' feelings, of whatever they've experienced and even of their opinions. We're not always going to agree on things, and you know what? I'm, quite frankly glad that we don't. I enjoy hearing other people's opinions and learning from their perspectives. It doesn't mean that it's going to change my mind, but it also helps my mind grow and even sometimes help me to hold a stronger belief, even more strongly because of what I've learned seeing through someone else's eyes. But I want them to be able to feel like they can come over and have a safe space where they can share those feelings and experiences and opinions with me, even if I'm going to differ. Especially when I'm going to differ, we could also encourage vulnerability and create an environment where people feel safe to be themselves. They shouldn't have to put on a facade to be around us. I don't want that. I want someone to be genuine around me and vulnerable, and be able to have conversations that are down to the core, but knowing that we still have respect and care for one another.

Speaker 2: 12:42

Number nine be kind to yourself. Oh, this one matters for many reasons. Loving others starts with loving ourself. Self-compassion is vital for building resilience and healthy relationships. When you treat yourself with kindness, you're better equipped to show love to others. Now we can apply this by taking time for self-care, practice self-acceptance and allow our self-grace when we make mistakes. Your own well-being matters, and loving yourself creates a foundation for loving others authentically. Number 10, practice empathy. Why does it matter? Well, love is rooted in empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It allows you to connect with others on a deeper level and offer support that's meaningful to them. We can apply this through simply putting yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand their perspective before reacting. Offer support and validation by acknowledging their feelings, even if you don't fully understand or even agree with them.

Speaker 2: 13:51

Number 11, celebrate and share the joy. It matters, because love isn't just about being there in tough times. It's about celebrating the good moments too. Sharing in someone's joys helps deepen your bond and shows you care about their happiness. How can you apply it? Celebrate those milestones and achievements and happy moments with others, whether that's birthdays, a promotion or just a win in your personal life. Acknowledging and sharing their joy is a beautiful way to show love. As we've expanded our herd, that is something I think has caught some of our additions on a little off guard is our family loves to celebrate each other and we love to celebrate together. So, whether that be a promotion, we want to go celebrate that A hard decision that was made, we love to celebrate together. So, whether that be a promotion, we want to go celebrate that A hard decision that was made. We want to go celebrate that A test that was aced or just passed, because we knew how grueling that person was having to deal with that test or what a problematic situation might have been that they've overcome. We want to celebrate that. We want to cheer them on. We love to celebrate each other and we love to celebrate whether it be through the tough times, overcoming or celebrating and sharing the joys that we go through in those milestones. So celebrate and share the joy.

Speaker 2: 15:14

Number 12, spread love through your actions. Why it matters is love isn't just about words, it's about what you do. You often hear that, where well, actions speak louder than words, so we'll see if that person follows through. Your actions do speak louder than anything you can say. So how we can apply this is show love in practical ways. You say something matters to you, volunteer your time, donate to a cause you care about or help others in need. Love, when shared with the world, has such a ripple effect. And our final two are two of my favorites and, I feel, most important. That is number 13,.

Speaker 2: 15:56

Pray for others. Why does it matter? James 5.16 tells us that prayer is powerful and effective. Praying for others puts their needs above our own. It's praying for their good and the outcome of whatever they're going through. It's praying to help encourage and lift them up. And because you have a deep care that you want to do so, your heart is showing the empathy and taking time to go before the Lord on their behalf. And we can apply it simply by reaching out by text, a phone call or simply asking people in conversation how may I pray for you today or this week and then, in your quiet time, pray for them Now we're not praying for a very pointed pray that they come to their senses. We're not necessarily praying that they'll understand our way or perspective. No, we're praying for them, for God to meet them where they're at, to meet each need, to provide where he would, to help provide discernment and wisdom and guidance, to bless them, to love them, to forgive them, to encourage them. There are so many things that we can pray for for others Now. Bonus points for following up with them, perhaps the next week, or even following something they've asked you to pray for and then asking how it went or how they're doing. A simple, any update. Oh, the power in praying for others. I am so thankful for those in my life who have loved me enough to genuinely go before the throne of God and pray for me.

Speaker 2: 17:40

Number 14, learn, share and express love languages. Now to really unpack this, you can check out Holly's Highlights, season 3, episode 3. And, in fact, not only there. We do cover a deep dive into love languages based on author Gary Chapman's the Five Love Languages, but also, if you just look back through many of the seasons and episodes here on Holly's Highlights, you're going to find different episodes that take you deeper on whether it be being present. There's one around Christmas time, I think, the second year, on the gift of being present, or many that are around November of each year on expressing gratitude. So feel free to check back on some of those dreams and goals. Many of these are pertinent. They're expressing empathy.

Speaker 2: 18:33

But especially here in this episode of season three, episode three, we go through the love languages and why they're so important for us to learn what ours are but then also learn what those are around us so that we can best show them love. Because it's one thing to say I want to express love, but it's another to do so in a way. People actually receive it as that. But in a nutshell, these five love languages are gifts, and that matters because thoughtful surprises show that you're thinking about someone and care about their happiness. It's not about the grand gestures, necessarily, but about finding ways to make their day special. It can be something even simple. How we apply it is surprising your partner with their favorite coffee, or write a handwritten note to a friend, send a text, just check in and see how someone's day is going. Simple things can be done, but these small surprises can make someone feel so deeply cared for.

Speaker 2: 19:34

Another love language is quality time. Why it matters is because one of the most precious gifts that you can give is your time. So many people vie for our time. It is a gift. It shows that you value the person and are willing to invest in your relationship with them.

Speaker 2: 19:52

My dad used to always be so annoyed when someone would take a phone call when they're in their loved one's presence, or even in his presence, whether it be a meeting or just out golfing or at a game or something because he'd say what you do matters with a phone call coming in shows who's most important to you, who you value where you value the person that you're with or the person calling in on the phone. So he's actually one that's taught me that if my phone is ringing and I'm with my children, my focus is on them. They are the most important with me at that moment. And just recently my son and I went to Disneyland and I went to go grab my phone to take a picture and it rang as I pulled it up and of course I swiped out like no, I'm with my son and he looked at me and he said thanks for not taking that call, mom. So they see, spend that quality time. Other ways on how to apply this is just setting aside time for meaningful activities with loved ones, whether that's going for a walk, having a deep conversation or simply hanging out. Quality time shows love in a very tangible way.

Speaker 2: 20:59

Third, love language is words of affirmation. Now, why it matters is compliments are a simple yet powerful way to show love and appreciation. When you compliment someone, you affirm their value and you boost their confidence. This is easy to apply. You can be specific and sincere. Of course, no one wants just a compliment when it's not really genuine right. We tend to know when those are and we know people who are known for such comments Instead of a generic compliment are known for such comments Instead of a generic compliment like you look great, try something more meaningful, such as your energy today is contagious and I love how you made everyone feel welcome. Things like that just go a bit deeper for those who really value that words of affirmation Be very specific to them. I know for me, my love language is words of affirmation, and if I'm in a room and someone says, oh, you guys did great on that project, well done on that, I do not hear a single word of that toward me and my love language is words of affirmation. The reason being is because I always want my team to feel loved, so I'm going to be their cheerleader of yeah, you guys did great. Even if I'm a part of that, I actually need the very specific. Holly, I really appreciated how you did this and the outcome was this and that affected this and that was great. I need it to be very specific and not just a generic compliment. Otherwise, even though it is words of affirmation, it'll fall on deaf ears. So be very careful that it is genuine, it's authentic and it's personalized.

Speaker 2: 22:38

The fourth love language is acts of service. Now, why it matters is because kindness is one of the most tangible forms of love. Little actions, like helping a friend with a task, offering a thoughtful gesture or even a smile, can have a big impact. Now, for those of us who don't have acts of service as their main love language, we kind of scoff at that a little bit, right, and we think that's a little too simple. But for those who have acts of service as their love language, those things go so far in reaching them and showing them love and that they're seen and valued and appreciated. So how we can apply these for those who need the acts of service to feel the love is hold the door open for someone, leave a kind note for a colleague, or surprise a loved one with their favorite snack or a thoughtful message. These small gestures add up and they truly brighten someone's day.

Speaker 2: 23:38

The fifth one is physical touch. Why does it matter? Well, according to psychologytodaycom, touch can actually calm the nervous system and slow down our heartbeat. It can lower blood pressure as well as cortisol. A study at Berkeley revealed the importance of physical touch in early development, improving communication, building personal relationships and even fighting diseases. There can be so much power, security and feeling of well-being in touch. So how can you apply it? Well, this does depend on the relationship and what would be appropriate. I had a coworker years ago whose love language was physical touch and he literally needed me just to pat him on the back or give him a high five now and then. That was appropriate. I could do that and it was effective, whereas my son's physical touch love language is in need of me hugging him or snuggling on the couch to watch a movie together. Again, depends on the relationship and what would be appropriate within that context as to what that looks like for physical touch.

Speaker 2: 24:44

So which of these ways of showing love resonates most with you, or is there a particular aspect you want to focus on in your relationships or even in your leadership? Sometimes it's taking that first step in showing love that can be the hardest Misperceptions that to show love is a weakness or fear of being vulnerable. Even past experiences that can make it challenging to express. Well, as Francine Rivers said in the movie Redeeming Love, one of my all-time favorite movies, for some of us, one mile can be more to walk than 30. So this week, go ahead and start with baby steps by trying to show love in at least two different ways, whether that's a compliment, a kind gesture or truly listening to someone. Then share your experience with us over on today's episode's post on Facebook at Holly's Highlights, or on Instagram at Holly Kirby. That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Y.

Speaker 2: 25:45

Showing love in life is about cultivating genuine connections. It's about demonstrating care and embracing kindness in both big and small ways, Whether it's through actions, words or one of the 14 ways mentioned earlier. Love has the power to create and elevate deep and meaningful relationships, to create trust, to foster a sense of belonging, as it makes people feel seen and heard, valued and appreciated. It offers kindness and authentically connects people, all while bringing a little more joy into the world. Similar to what Gandhi has said instead of waiting for others to do it, go ahead and show the love you want to see in this world. After all, 1 Corinthians reminds us and now these three remain faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. Thank you for joining me on this journey of life.

Speaker 1: 26:45

I hope that today's highlight has been encouraging, inspiring and equipping so you can go out and live your life full of purpose.

Speaker 2: 26:53

I'd be honored if you'd take a moment to leave a review or, better yet, subscribe. We can also stay in touch by joining my email list at hollykirbycom, that's H-O-L-L-Y, c-u-r-b-y dot com.

Speaker 1: 27:08

Until next time, make it a great day for a great day.