Holly's Highlights

The Power of Mentorship: Learning and Leading

• Holly Curby • Season 6 • Episode 9

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Have you ever wished for someone to guide you through life's challenges, or wondered if you could be that guiding light for someone else? Mentorship might be the missing piece in your journey.

In this heartfelt exploration of mentorship, we unpack what it truly means to guide and be guided. Far more than just giving advice, mentorship creates a relationship of intentional growth, encouragement, and accountability. 

The benefits speak volumes – professionally, mentored employees are five times more likely to be promoted and report greater satisfaction. Spiritually, mentorship embodies Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." We share practical steps for finding a mentor (pray, look around, start small, be consistent) and becoming a mentor (you don't need to have it all together, just be a step ahead and available).

Most importantly, we challenge the notion that you need to be perfect to mentor others. As one mentor wisely stated, "The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves." Whether you're guiding or being guided, mentorship offers mutual growth and the chance to make a lasting impact.

Ready to take that first step? Finding or becoming a mentor doesn't require a program or perfect timing – just a willingness to show up, listen well, and walk alongside another person in their journey. Share this episode with someone who might need this encouragement, and subscribe for more conversations that equip you to live with purpose.

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Visit www.hollycurby.com for more information and to sign up for the monthly Holly's Happenings e-newsletter. Holly's Highlights podcast and the opinions and ideas shared within it are for entertainment purposes only. The advice should be confirmed with a qualified professional.

Speaker 1:

Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast designed to encourage, inspire and equip you to intentionally live your life full of purpose. I'm your host, holly Kirby, motivational speaker, leadership cultivator, marketing strategist and personal cheerleader. Let's check out today's highlights. In a world of job changes, limited staffing and the ongoing demands of time management, leaders of all levels are facing the challenges of change. Hiring a leadership coach has been proven an effective strategy at improving performance. It can help your leaders tackle workplace challenges, improve team culture and even help their leaders continue to grow and fine-tune their leadership styles. I currently have a few openings to coach you or your leadership team. Whether it be scheduling two 30 minute sessions a month or one one hour session. We'll work together to overcome challenges of providing difficult feedback, growing in self-awareness as a leader, and implement successful tactics that becoming a leader Others want to follow. Connect with me online at holly kirbycom or email me at contact at hollykirbycom. That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Y. In the words of physician and anthropologist and former president of the World Bank, jim Yong Kim, one of the most important things about leadership is that you have to have the kind of humility that will allow you to be coached. Hi, friends, today's episode is about something powerful mentorship, what it is, why it matters and how it can be used to shape our purpose and even stretch our faith. Now, whether you're hoping to find a mentor, thinking about becoming one, or if you're even just feeling stuck in between, this conversation is going to give you tools and truth and encouragement to take that next step.

Speaker 1:

So, first things first. What is mentorship? Well, let's start with the basics. A mentor is someone who offers guidance, knowledge and support, usually from a place of experience, to someone less experienced, or often called a mentee or protege. But mentorship isn't just about giving advice. It's about listening, challenging, helping someone grow into their potential. It's a relationship of intentional guidance, encouragement and accountability. But it's rooted in experience and yet it's motivated by love. Experience and yet it's motivated by love.

Speaker 1:

In the Bible we see clear examples of mentorship Moses and Joshua. Moses trained and encouraged Joshua to lead courageously. This is found in Deuteronomy 31, 7 and 8. Elijah and Elijah A powerful picture of calling, legacy and spiritual anointing. Paul and Timothy. To Timothy, my true son in the faith, 1 Timothy 1-2 tells us Paul mentored Timothy not just in ministry but in godly character. And then, of course, jesus and the disciples, the greatest mentoring relationship of all time teaching, correcting, equipping and commissioning.

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Former United States Representative John C Crosby said that mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen and a push in the right direction. Mentorship is also discipleship in action, though Life-on-life learning. It's where wisdom gets passed down. It's designed for generational wisdom and community growth. The biggest mentor influence in my life was my mother. She was intentional. Each and every day she poured into teaching me and she was my main source of learning and growing and then even implementing what I learned from her, whether professional attributes or personal. I could go to her with anything and everything and I knew she'd be honest and real and raw and everything. And I knew she'd be honest and real and raw. She'd listen, she'd help me, process and even offer her wise counsel, whether from her own experiences or pointing me to biblically sound principles.

Speaker 1:

Now, why should mentorship matter? Well, there are both practical and spiritual benefits to mentorship. Practical a survey of Forbes shows that 71% of Fortune 500 companies have mentoring programs. Ours is one of those with Chick-fil-A. According to Harvard Business Review, mentored employees are five times more likely to be promoted, and those with mentors often report greater career satisfaction, confidence and personal development. Now, on the flip side of that, those who mentor others often excel in their leadership, grow in empathy and compassion, and they build patience and overall life awareness. The spiritual benefits to mentorship are shown in Proverbs 27, 17,. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Or in Titus 2, where it calls older men and women to teach and encourage the younger. Passing down godliness and mentorship is part of the Great Commission. Teaching others to obey all Jesus commanded in Matthew 28, 19 through 20. American philosopher and psychologist William James said the greatest use of a life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. Mentorship is kingdom work.

Speaker 1:

You never know how a word of encouragement or consistent presence impacts others, and it can even create that rippling effect. When I was a teenager, I had a mentor who invested time with me each week through a program called Act Teens. Now this program helped me learn how to have a deeper care about others and encourage them and even pray for them, although I'd probably never even meet them. But little did she or I know that. Her mentorship in my life developed a passion for missions within me, although missions is often termed for someone who is sharing the gospel and making disciples of all nations. You often hear the word missionary. My passion became praying for and supporting, how I may, those who would be going out, whether that be through finances and or resources needed. We've had many a missionary here on Holly's Highlights podcast sharing about their ministry or nonprofit, which we've then been invited to take part in in one way or another, and throughout the years, this woman has continued to send me cards to connect, offered a friendly smile as we passed each other at church, or even time going out for lunch. The look of the mentorship has changed, yes, but her impact on my life has not. So how do you find a mentor or how do you be a mentor? Well, let's talk about what this can look like practically.

Speaker 1:

Mentorship can happen in a lot of forms. Formal's talk about what this can look like practically. Mentorship can happen in a lot of forms formal mentoring, programs at work or school, informal relationships offered through coffee chats or Zoom calls peer mentoring yes, people at your level can offer a huge value too. Or even reverse mentoring, where younger or less traditional professionals mentor senior leaders, often around tech or diversity or new perspectives. At its best, mentorship is a two-way relationship where both people grow. Now, recently, I spent an entire year where I would ask one person each month to have lunch with me my treat and I would ask questions. I would listen to them and just absorb what I could in learning from them in our time together. This year I was asked to take part in a leadership development group where we gather business professionals together one day each month and we go out to learn together about different industries medical, government, entertainment, transportation, you name it.

Speaker 1:

So in finding your mentor, I would suggest four things. First of all, pray. First, ask God to show you who he's already placed in your life. Think about people you admire inside or outside your field. Second, look around. Look around your church, your workplace, your school, your community or your networking and professional groups. You may already have potential mentors already in your daily circle. Third, start small. Reach out to someone you admire and just simply say hey, could we grab coffee? I love your perspective on something I'm walking through, or maybe I admire. Fill in the blank your parenting, your leadership, your life, your walk with the Lord. You name it and then ask them if they'd be open to meeting and sharing their wisdom.

Speaker 1:

Don't go in asking will you be my mentor? That's a little overwhelming, right. A lot of time commitment, but start with a conversation. Ask for advice or insight on something specific. And fourth, be consistent. Follow up. Ask intentional questions, apply what you hear Now. Don't demand commitment right away, as I mentioned, but just let your relationship grow naturally and be appreciative for the time that they can invest in you. I'm not sure who said it, but it is said to find a good mentor is one who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself, and then they help bring it out of you. They're a valuable source of guidance, support and inspiration, helping you grow and achieve in your potential. Someone who really believes in you.

Speaker 1:

Now, as far as becoming a mentor, same thing, four tips I'd offer. First off, you don't have to have it all together or be an expert Phew. You just need to be a step ahead and available, meaning I'm not going to go to someone without kids for parenting mentorship. I'm not going to go to someone who is horribly in debt for financial wisdom. As a mentor, the life you've lived, what you've experienced, is what you have to offer another who is coming behind you, so to speak. If you've got experience, someone else doesn't, you've got value to share.

Speaker 1:

Second, invite someone in, talk to someone about hey, if you ever want to process anything or talk through this or that in life, I'm here. Or simply asking how can I support you? Or even, what are you working on right now that you could use another perspective on. Third, you don't need to have all the answers. Show up, listen well and simply be there for them. Before I meet with someone I'm mentoring, I always ask God to bless our time together, to give me wisdom and discernment in what to and even what not to say, and that His will would be done in that person. My dad has always taught us kids that we are to listen more than we speak. Great mentors ask great questions, but then they listen. And fourth, set boundaries. Mentorship is a relationship, not a rescue mission. Set and protect those boundaries.

Speaker 1:

When I was young, I found a Dalmatian dog running around our neighborhood. I took it home, gave it water, and it didn't have a tag name on it for me to be able to identify the owner, so I was just going to take care of it until we could find the owner. Well, my dad came home that night and he saw the dog and said we needed to let it go. Now his response to me is one that still resonates today Holly, you can't bring home all the strays. Now that sounds a little rough, I get it, but translated to today, I still have a temptation to want to help everyone, to bring everyone home right, to fix their problems, to provide solutions, to save them. Well, mentorship is a relationship, not a rescue mission. I have had to remind myself more times than not. God's got them, so I've still got to set my boundaries and then give it to God.

Speaker 1:

Mentorship doesn't have to be a program. It can simply start with coffee and a conversation through you being present. As Steven Spielberg has said, the delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. When I've thought of the word mentor, I've never felt qualified. Even though I've gone through coaching certification and been a life coach, a leadership coach, I still don't feel qualified when it comes to the word mentor. Yet when I reflect upon my years, I see where I've had the honor of mentoring so many people, whether it be youth, as a youth director for a decade, co-workers, as I've walked alongside them as a leader for decades. My own children and nephews in life lived. Just this past week, I had a friend reach out and asked to meet me up for coffee just to have some wise counsel on a situation she's going through, a decision she has to make Again.

Speaker 1:

You don't need to know everything, you just need to be obedient with what you do know. So show up Now. I'd encourage you with five takeaways to reflect on or put into practice this week. First off, god uses people to shape people, so don't isolate yourself. Growth happens in community. Reach out. Second, mentorship is mutual. Whether you're guiding or you're being guided, god uses both roles to refine us. Third, don't wait for the perfect mentor or the perfect moment. Don't wait for the perfect mentor or the perfect moment. Start small and trust God to lead the process. Fourth, let scripture be central In spiritual mentorship. Anchor advice in God's word, not just opinion. I always avoid this is what I would do, but instead, whether it be in business settings or faith groups, I approach it all with a lens of what's God's word on saying something. We are imperfect people, so make sure we aren't trying to write the person's story for them. We are not their author. And fifth, be available. Not perfect. People need someone who's real, present and faithful, just show up. So who's someone that might be on your heart today to reach out to for guidance or to be a guide for you? And what's holding you back from reaching out? What's perhaps one step that you can take this week?

Speaker 1:

Now I want to give a shout out to the mentors in my life, those who have shaped me, taught me and believed in me. I'm grateful for grace in action. I had a boss years ago who kind of took me under their wing in showing me the ropes, teaching me some things she knew and then also having me come alongside her in doing them. I was very thankful for that. I've had a mentor who I am so grateful for, who, as a young child, simply took me to see the little mermaid and then, throughout the years, has reached out to pray for me, and she doesn't even have to know what's going on. She simply said just send me those prayer emoji hands and I'll make sure to lift you up. So my hope is that you'll have the courage to ask for help, while also the humility to pour into others.

Speaker 1:

So often we can look at asking for help or looking for someone to pour into us, to teach us, to mentor us as a weakness that we don't know it all. Well, guess what Newsflash? We don't want to know it all. Life is a continuation of learning and growing, and we're going to be able to learn from all of those around us if we just show up with a growth mindset each and every day. We can learn from those who are experienced and inexperienced. We can learn from those who are older and younger. We can learn from those who have the higher education and those who have no education. My hope is that our lives will be used to build others up in faith and love and wisdom, whether we are in the receiving end or the giving end.

Speaker 1:

Now, before we wrap, I want to leave you with some resources that can help you go deeper, whether you want to grow in your mentoring relationship or simply start from scratch. Two books I would recommend are Mentoring 101 by John C Maxwell. This is a practical and approachable guide to the basics of leadership-based mentoring. It's great, and John C Maxwell goes on to even have a podcast that you can sign up for, where, in your inbox every day, you'll kind of get those Mentoring 101 tips. I highly recommend it. You can go to his website for more information on that, I think it's called Minute with Maxwell. And then, of course, women Leading Women by Jay Martin and Terry Stovall. This is for women in leadership roles and it's a helpful guide for women on mentoring ministry and developing others in faith. And then podcasts and audio resources. I would provide one being the Emotionally Healthy Leader podcast by Pete Cesaro. It's a soul deep leadership development that includes mentoring and discipleship principles. And then that Sounds Fun by Annie F Downs. She often includes mentoring themes through storytelling and interviews with spiritual mentors and leaders. Of course, websites that I would recommend to you, two of them specifically growingleaderscom, that's focused on mentoring and developing young adults through leadership and life skills, and then faithfulworkplaceorg. It's a mentoring and workplace discipleship.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you want to take a next step today, here's what you can do Five things First of all, identify the gaps in your knowledge or in your career and then look for someone who's already navigated them. Second, don't wait for mentorship to happen. Initiate it, whether you're reaching out to learn to or help just start. Third, be prepared when meeting a mentor or a mentee. Respect their time and have clear goals and clear questions. Fourth, build a network of mentors. You don't need just one. Seek different perspectives for different areas of your life. Remember, a mentor doesn't have to be for a lifetime. It can be for a season and five. Pay it forward. My mom used to always say have a mentor and be a mentor. Well, if someone helped, you help someone else. Mentorship is a cycle, it's not a ladder. You don't have to have a title, a ministry or a program. You just need a heart that's willing.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for tuning in to Holly's Highlights Podcast. My friends, if today's episode has encouraged you, would you please take a second to share it with a friend or, better yet, your mentor. Have a great day for a great day. Thank you for joining me on this journey of life. I hope that today's highlight has been encouraging, inspiring and equipping so you can go out and live your life full of purpose. I'd be honored if you'd take a moment to leave a review or, better yet, subscribe. We can also stay in touch by joining my email list at hollykirbycom, that's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom. Until next time, make it a great day for a great day.