The Power of Grit: What Grit Really Looks Like In Everyday Life

Grit separates surviving from thriving. It's not glamorous or trending, but it's the backbone of how we keep moving forward – especially when no one's watching.

What does real grit look like? Sometimes it's celebrating a milestone nobody thought possible. My dad, diagnosed with multiple myeloma cancer in 2015 with a three-year prognosis, just marked his 10th year post-diagnosis. Through grueling stem cell and T-cell transplants, two brushes with 50-50 survival odds, and countless challenging days, he chose to fight. His remission today isn't just science – it's a testament to endurance, faith, and refusing to give up.

Grit also appears in unexpected places. When our newly adopted shelter dog was diagnosed with rare, terminal cancer, my children showed what grit truly means. Instead of pulling away from inevitable heartbreak, they've leaned into love – giving extra cuddles, special treats, and making every remaining day count. That's grit in its purest form: choosing to show up with compassion when your heart is breaking.

Research backs up what we intuitively know. Angela Duckworth's groundbreaking studies revealed that grit – defined as passion and perseverance for long-term goals – predicts success better than intelligence, talent, or background. In studies of West Point cadets, successful salespeople, and high achievers across fields, the common thread wasn't natural ability but consistent determination. The good news? Grit can be cultivated through discipline, mindset, and faith.

Where do you need grit today? Maybe it's showing up for a struggling loved one, persisting through a career setback, praying when your faith feels dry, or serving your community without recognition. Whatever challenges you're facing, remember – you've got more grit in you than you realize. Don't give up. You're stronger than you know, and your perseverance today is building the foundation for tomorrow's victory.

Ready to develop more grit in your life? Subscribe to Holly's Highlights and join our monthly email at www.hollycurby.com for practical worksheets to help you cultivate resilience through life's toughest moments.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Image Skincare Promotion
• 1:00 Understanding Real Grit
• 2:15 Dad's 10-Year Cancer Journey
• 3:30 What Research Says About Grit
• 6:10 Our Dog's Cancer Diagnosis
• 9:00 Faith, Grit and Practical Steps Forward
• 15:00 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast designed to encourage, inspire and equip you to intentionally live your life full of purpose. I'm your host, holly Kirby, motivational speaker, leadership cultivator, marketing strategist and personal cheerleader. Let's check out today's highlights. If you're looking to level up your skincare routine, you have got to try Image Skincare. Their products are professional grade, super effective and leave your skin feeling amazing. My fabulous esthetician is the one who introduced me to it, so shout out to Carly there. I have been loving the results and I know you will too. Even better, when you use my code at checkout, we both get a discount. It's a win-win for your skin and your wallet. So why not treat yourself and glow up with me? Head on over to the show notes and grab my code today and let's glow together. Hello, friends, and welcome back. If you're new here, I'm so glad you found this space, and if you've been walking with me for a while, I am truly grateful. You're part of a community that believes in showing up for the hard stuff, staying honest and holding on to hope as we all strive to encourage and inspire and equip each other and intentionally living life full of purpose.

Speaker 1: 1:15

Now I recently had a new listener, reach out and share with me that he was listening to one of the most recent episodes when suddenly, one word stopped him grit. He continued to share with me that that word really hits home for him. Now that interaction has stayed with me. Grit, real grit. It's what separates surviving from thriving. But it's something most of us don't talk about. It's not glamorous, it's not trending, but it's a part of the backbone of how we keep moving forward. It isn't just something we talk about in motivational speeches or self-help books. It's something we actually live every day, often in the shadows and often when no one even sees. Now, over the weekend, our family celebrated a milestone that, honestly, we weren't sure we'd ever see.

Speaker 1: 2:05

My dad, who was diagnosed with multiple myeloma cancer back in 2015, marked 10 years since that diagnosis 10 years. I remember when the doctor said the prognosis was maybe three years. I remember that quiet shock, the held back tears, the way the room just suddenly felt smaller. Twice we faced terrifying 50-50 survival odds and twice we nearly lost him. But my dad, he chose to fight. He chose hope. He went through a grueling stem cell transplant in 2015. And then, just last year, he went through a T-cell transplant, which is a cutting edge procedure that came with big risks and yet no guarantees. Well, today, with all glory to God, my dad is in remission.

Speaker 1: 2:56

That's not luck, that's not science or just science. That is both a miracle of God and grit. It's waking up on the worst days and choosing to keep going. It's putting your trust in something greater. It's staying in the fight even when you're tired and you're scared and everything hurts. Every hospital visit, every sleepless night, every hard decision, my dad kept showing up.

Speaker 1: 3:27

So let's talk about what grit actually is. Well, I shared a few episodes ago about Angela Duckworth, who's a psychologist and author of the bestselling book Grit, and she defines the word as a passion and perseverance for long-term goals. See, grit isn't talent. It's not how smart you are or how fast you can learn or even how lucky you get Although, back in high school, I had a friend who was so lucky. Anything she entered she won. But I digress. One study that Duckworth looked at had over 2,800 cadets at West Point in it, and she found that grit predicted success better than SAT scores, class rank or even physical fitness. Then, in 2014, a meta-analysis of 88 studies with over 66,000 people showed that grit was to correlate strongly with academic achievement, retention and even job performance, especially when paired with self-discipline. So if you feel like you're not gifted enough, well, take heart, because grit matters more. Grit is consistent, it's enduring, it's your refusal to quit, it's showing up especially when it's hard. Think about that. It's not about intensity, it's about consistency over time. And research backs it up too. In long-term studies, grit was the most reliable predictor of success, more than intelligence, more than income, even more than educational level.

Speaker 1: 5:01

Now let me share a few quotes that I think might capture the spirit of grit that we're trying to convey. One of them, of course, is by Angela Duckworth, where she says grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint. And then, of course, everyone's favorite, vince Lombardi, where he says the difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. There's a Japanese Proverbs that says fall seven times, stand up eight. And, of course, cs Lewis hardships often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary destinies. Now I have sayings all over the house, and one of my children has a friend who likes to randomly cite such sayings. I think I may be being mocked, but these four sayings, if you will, that we just shared aren't just cute sayings. They are road signs for people walking through deep valleys, which is actually what my intent of my sayings around the house are intended to do, which is actually what my intent of my sayings around the house are intended to do. But anyhow, grit isn't for the faint of heart.

Speaker 1: 6:12

Now let me bring you to something that we're walking through right now. A few months ago, we adopted a sweet little dog from the local pet shelter. I shared the surprise to us with you not too long ago here on season six, episode seven. I'd highly encourage you to check that one out. It was quite a miracle. It's really, really interesting.

Speaker 1: 6:30

But especially to date, it seems to get even a little bit more interesting, because one morning recently I woke up in the wee hours to the doggie hopping on my chest and I just thought he needed to go to the bathroom. Not a big deal. But once we got to the threshold of the door, he seemed to collapse as if he was having a seizure. Now I hollered up for my daughter, who came down to help comfort him, as I called the vet ER, and surprisingly enough, they shared with me that most dogs actually have a seizure in their lifetime, it's just that we often don't see it. So they just told me to watch him for a bit and if he didn't have any other issues then it was probably a fluke. Well, a few days later, as my kids and I were having dinner, I noticed the dog raising his arm as he slept on the couch and I kind of thought this comical at the moment, kind of like, oh, he has a question. But as I went to check on him it was obvious he was having another episode. So we rushed him to the after hours vet hospital. Now what I thought would be remedied with some anti-seizure meds or something along that line. Well, we shockingly and devastatingly learned that he has a very rare and fatal adrenal gland cancer. The vet said at most he has a year, but probably just a few months left.

Speaker 1: 7:46

Since those early morning hours I have watched my kids, their precious, precious hearts, with so much on their plate. During all of this they have stepped up. They hug him every day, they feed him treats, they pray over him, they cuddle him and carry him. They don't turn away from the hard part. They respond not with despair but with love. They're not running from the heartbreak. They're showing up in it Now. We're soaking up all these final months with joy, not sorrow.

Speaker 1: 8:19

But that's grit. It's not loud or flashy, it's quiet, it's deep. It's love that chooses to stay when it'd be so much easier to look away, the kind that looks like showing up with compassion when your hearts just want to break. You know, I believe grit and faith are deeply connected. Grit is choosing to trust when you don't see the outcome. It's believing that God is doing something, even when you don't feel it. To believe there's a reason to endure. The Bible speaks this truth over and over In Galatians 6, 9,. Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up. Romans 5, 3-4,. Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. And Joshua 1, 9,. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid for the Lord. Your God is with you wherever you go.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Grit is not just willpower, it's spiritual endurance, it's holding on to God when the storm doesn't let up. God doesn't waste pain, my friends. He uses it to build endurance in us, to shape us into people who don't give up and don't give in. So what are some practical things that we can walk away with today. I'd suggest four of them. One grit is learned, not born, as Duckworth's studies show that grit can be cultivated through discipline, habit and mindset. She found that grit can grow. You're not born with it or without it. It's like a muscle. It strengthens through challenge.

Speaker 1: 10:07

Number two faith fuels grit. When you believe there's a purpose to your pain, you can press through when faced with adversity. I think of Jeremiah 29, 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope at a future, me knowing that God's plans can't be thwarted and that he is good for me. Well, it helps fuel the grit. And then, of course, I cling to Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your path. That's where I grasp on. I don't have to understand it, but it is an opportunity to walk by faith. But it is an opportunity to walk by faith.

Speaker 1: 10:56

Number three grit matters more than talent. In a long-term study, grit was the best predictor of success, even more than IQ, family income or even test scores. Now a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showed that grittier people is that a word? Grittier? I may have just come up with that word, but people who have the most grit tend to stay committed to their goals over years, even decades. Grit matters, and it matters more than talent.

Speaker 1: 11:31

And then number four grit shows up in love, in families, in caregiving, in crisis. Grit is the choice to stay engaged, to keep loving, to keep believing. When hope fills thin, it doesn't mean we aren't going to wish we didn't have to go through it or that you can't be honest in how you feel about it. When Doggie was diagnosed with cancer, I thought are you kidding me? So be real with ourselves, my friends, but then press into love. Just as 1 Corinthians 14, 13 says, just as 1 Corinthians 13, 13 says these remain faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love, but the greatest of these is love. So what does this mean for you? How can you start living with grit today? Well, I would have four challenges for you this week.

Speaker 1: 12:27

First of all, at home, grit looks like showing up when your kids are hard to parent. It's staying connected. When your marriage hits a dry season, it's refusing to shut down emotionally just because life feels overwhelming. So where are you being called to endure? Maybe it's with a struggling child, hurting spouse or just a daily grind. Maybe it's showing up emotionally when you feel spent. Don't check out, dig in. Number two would be at work. Grit is finishing the job with excellence, even when no one sees. It's starting over after failure, and we are all going to go through it. I love.

Speaker 1: 13:10

In an interview that I had with Christy Flater back in season one I want to say episode I don't know five, eight somewhere around there but she talked about failing forward. My friends, we're going to fail, but fail forward knowing that it's giving our best, not because it's easy, but because it's right. Grit means choosing growth over comfort. So where do you need to push past frustration and recommit? Third area would be in your faith. First of all, ask do you have one? And if not, I would encourage you to go back and listen to one of the episodes in season one. Think of it's the very last episode about hope. Well, there we can have a foundation in our faith, which I'll share with you there. But if you already have faith, then maybe it's praying when you feel dry. Well, in that case, I'd encourage you to cling to Jeremiah 29 and 11 as we spoke, knowing that God has good for you. And again, that Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, that you don't have to understand it.

Speaker 1: 14:18

And fourth, in the community, sometimes grit is just saying I'll be there again and again and again, even when you're tired. It's serving without applause. It's loving your neighbor, even when it costs you time and comfort. Whether you're mentoring someone, volunteering or just being present for a neighbor, grit is love and action. So how can you show that in your community? Maybe it's mentoring someone or caring for someone who can't repay you. Don't underestimate the ripple effect.

Speaker 1: 14:54

I'd encourage you to identify one of those areas in your life where you're tempted to give up right now and instead commit to one act of grit. It doesn't have to be heroic, it just has to be consistent. Remember, grit isn't about being perfect. It isn't loud or flashy and it rarely makes headlines. It's not usually on display, but it's what carries you through the fire. It's what lets you celebrate 10 years after being told you had three fire. It's what lets you celebrate 10 years after being told you had three. It's what allows your kids to love a dying dog like, every day counts. It's about falling and getting up and trying again. It's what allows ordinary people to live extraordinary lives. It's what God builds in us, not in the easy, but in the hard. Friend, in case no one has told you lately, you've got grit in you too. Don't give up. You are stronger than you realize and God's not done with you and you don't have to walk your path alone.

Speaker 1: 16:03

Now, before we sign off, I want to give a shout out to my dad for being a living example of grit, to me, to my children and to our entire herd. Thank you for fighting, dad, and to all who prayed for him and us or brought meals, sent cards, mowed lawns, even asked how he was doing through it, or even checking in on him now. Thank you. You were and are a source of strength that has helped power, that muscle of grit for all of us, and to my children regarding the path we're walking with our cute little doggie. Thank you. Thank you, babies, for showing up, for helping give this little guy a loving home for his final days, for loving him well and for exuding grit in such a loving, gracious and selfless way as you do for Doggie. I'm so proud of you and I love you both more than you'll ever understand. My friends, if this episode has spoke to you, I'd love if you'd share it with someone who needs encouragement. You never know who's one moment away from quitting.

Speaker 1: 17:10

And if you haven't yet subscribe to the show, we've got more stories coming that will meet you right where you are. If you want to dive deeper, join the monthly email on wwwhollykirbycom. If you've noticed, we've been attaching some worksheets that help you dive deeper. So that's always going to be in the email, but I'll try to put it in the show notes too. Until next time, keep showing up, keep pressing in and remember grit grows in those hard places, but oh how it shines in the light. Thank you for joining me on this journey of life. I hope that today's highlight has been encouraging, inspiring and equipping so you can go out and live your life full of purpose. I'd be honored if you'd take a moment to leave a review or, better yet, subscribe. We can also stay in touch by joining my email list at hollykirbycom. That's H-O-L-L-Y, c-u-r-b-y dot com. Until next time. Make it a great day for a great day.