Welcome to the For the Gospel Podcast, where we're all about providing sound doctrine for everyday people. I'm your host, Costi Hinn, and on today's episode, I want to dig into why truth and tone matter, and particularly focus on our tone as Christians and the way we speak the truth. I hear quite often these days that, you know, it doesn't really matter how you say things, as long as it's the truth. In other words, as long as what you say is true, you could sling it however you want, uh, offer very little nuance, or use whatever tone and be as aggressive as you'd like, because, you know, who cares? What I'm saying is true. Truth is what matters. And believe me, I agree, truth matters. But I think the Bible has things to say about our tone and the way we say things. If you push back against the uh idea that what you say and how you say it matters, you typically get called the tone police. Uh, and as a guy who's not afraid to say hard things and mix it up, I I like this particular topic because it convicts me. You could say that when Bible passages about tone come up, for me personally, they tend to hurt so good. In other words, there's conviction there. As God's word reminds me, it is not just what I say that matters, but how I say it does as well. And anybody who tells you otherwise is gonna have a real difficult time dealing with Scripture when right in front of us, time and time again, is a passage about tone. Or Paul saying, Here's how you should deal with one another. A particular passage that got me really thinking about this when I was studying recently was 1 Timothy 5 1 to 2. I was digging in with some men in our church. We're uh discussing how Timothy is to address various demographics within the church and what Paul's instructions to him were. In the passage of 1 Timothy 5 1 to 2, Paul's instructing Timothy on how things ought to be within the church. In the overall context, um, Timothy's got false teachers to deal with, he has elders to appoint, he's got a gospel to preach, he's got people to care for, and then he's got his own life and doctrine to watch. Paul says in 1 Timothy 4 16, watch your life and doctrine closely, for that'll preserve both yourself and those who hear you. And then right after those words, Paul says these words do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the young women as sisters in all purity. So along with all the other instructions that Paul gives Timothy, he gives instruction for how to deal with sin in the church and how to offer correction to these different demographics of people. Now, not in this passage is uh how to deal with false teachers and extremely divisive types. That's not in the context here. For that, Paul says in Titus 3.10 that Titus was to reject a factio man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and he's sinning, being self-condemned. So, really divisive people, you deal with strongly. I deal with strongly. I'm not saying to tone it down with them. You need to lay out the truth very clearly, and you may even use a strong or a firm tone with that type of individual. That's not ungodly, that's not unbiblical. Uh for dealing with false teachers or those who are teaching things that are contrary to what Christ taught in Romans 16, verses 17 and 18. Paul says to mark them, so you mark and avoid, you uh don't deal with them, you turn away from them completely, you shun them, and then he says that you know they're causing division with their teaching. So none of what we're gonna deal with in this episode negates strong words and even a firm tone with false teachers and divisive types. The bottom line is Paul did not did not ever mince words with heretics, and he did not deal lightly with those who wanted to harm the church through demonic strategies like division. The devil loves to infiltrate the church through those means, so we'll have none of that. But how are we to be correcting each other? How should we be talking to or speaking the truth with fellow believers? I think Paul's instructions to Timothy give us great insight into the tone that we should operate with and let this be a helpful thing for you and for me in the way we deal with others in the church. The first thing I want you to understand is the motivation for all correction for any type of calling out of someone else is gotta be love. In chapter four, verse twelve of first Timothy, leading into these instructions, Paul tells Timothy, be an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity, and show yourself to be an example to those who believe. Well, then that leads into these instructions, and so let's settle in on that for a moment contextually. In speech, he says, that means what we say matters. In conduct means what we do matters. In love, that means how we say things and how we treat other people matters. In faith, what we believe matters. In purity, how we live, our holiness matters. And so in all those things, Timothy is to be an example to believers. Love for the Lord Jesus, love for the church is the driving motivation behind all correction because you cannot do this the right way without actually loving those whom you are correcting. With that in mind, Paul says, do not sharply rebuke an older man. That word means to violently rebuke. Basically, this is verbal abuse. He says, Don't engage in that. We may say hard things, but how we say those hard things matters. And so what should we do? He says, but rather appeal, which is the Greek word parakaleo or parakaleo. It's a compound of two Greek words. Para means alongside, like you think of parachurch, to come alongside, and then the word kaleo means to call or to proclaim loudly, to invite. So you take those words, you put them together, and this ends up meaning to encourage, to admonish, or to entreat someone. And when I hear the word parakaleo, I think of the Greek word uh paraclet or paraclete, which is the word used to describe the Holy Spirit. It means helper. So Paul's word selection right off the bat in this passage reveals something very important to us. When correcting someone and dealing with sin, the goal is to help, not hurt. Now feelings may be hurt, but the intentions are to help the person, like a wound being cleaned out. It may sting to face the truth, but then healing will result. Many times people in the church are wounded because they are crushed with truth and then they're offered no solution. Or even worse, perhaps, they're convicted by the truth. They want to change, they want to confess, they do, but then we guilt trip them or leave them out in the cold as if they need to pay more for their sins, and the consequences of being shunned is our way of really unleashing justice upon them. This approach misses the mark. Sinful people need loving confrontation, no doubt. But the goal is to see them healed, see them restored, not to see them beat in the ground and left for dead. So how we approach people, not with verbal abuse, not with violent rebuke, but with an appeal, and there's demographics that Paul lays out that we could apply what we can apply these to. The first one is older men like fathers. Appeal to the older men like fathers, using the word presbyteras. Paul is referring really here to having respect. Presbyteras, the same word for elder, not referring to church leaders, church elders here. It's a term of respect for older men. The way to approach those who are older than us is respect. This is seen in the life of Daniel. In Daniel 4.27, there's a great illustration. He's got to go rebuke Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar was rebellious, he was pagan, he was sinful, he was oppressing God's people. And Daniel comes to him, and in Daniel 4.27, he basically says, and this is my paraphrase, you could read it. I basically am paraphrasing him, he says, I hope my advice pleases the king. He says, you know, may what I say please the king. Then he goes on to rebuke him for his sins and his iniquities, using the words sin and iniquities. He calls him to righteousness. And at the end of his rebuke, Daniel says in the positive voice, if you do this, basically, you'll have lasting prosperity. In other words, he appeals to what blessings and joys could result if the king would obey God and turn to righteousness. In King Nebuchadnezzar's case, that would be a prosperous kingdom. I think we could learn from this. When we correct people, and in particular here, when we appeal to older men, might it be wise to show them or refer to the blessings that would result from their obedience? I'm not saying that prosperity is guaranteed in that, like it was for Nebuchadnezzar, but we could say things to people like, listen, you're in sin. This isn't a wise course for your life, for your marriage, or your family. But if you'll do things God's way, it won't always be easy, but you'll be living a life pleasing to our Lord. I think he'll bless that in ways that money can't buy and in ways that this world cannot steal. Friend, sin will destroy you. I want to see you thrive in the Lord. That's the approach that we can take based on what Paul says when appealing to older men. He says, younger men as brothers. There is a really helpful application here regarding spiritual arrogance. Younger men as brothers. This term that he uses brothers or like brotherly love from Romans twelve ten is not accidental. He's explaining that we're to see other men or other younger men as those who are running the race as well. There's no self-righteousness here. It's coming alongside your fellow brothers. It's correcting them as one also running the race, needing to watch out for his own life and his own doctrine. So we could apply that saying when you correct people or your contemporaries, your peers, be careful of sounding arrogant. Leave room for your own sins to be addressed if needed, and spur others onward. This one is likely the toughest because we tend to be very competitive with our contemporaries. And Paul says, you need to appeal to your fellow younger men, Timothy, like brothers. Spiritual arrogance and a pompous attitude as though you're above them is not to be known in your correction. Then he says, older women as mothers. There's probably no better illustration of how one might deal with older women who are out of line than Philippians 4, verses 1 through 3. Paul deals with these two women who were, I'll just say, a little much. They were troublemakers, to put it nicely. He says, I urge Eodia and I urge Syntechy to live in harmony in the Lord. Indeed, true companion, I ask you also to help these women who have shared in my struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement also and the rest of my fellow workers whose names are in the book of life. Isn't that beautiful? He appeals to their gospel work. He encourages the older women as mothers forward in, and he uses the word harmony. It's not, you know, knock it off, you two, or else. It's it's an appeal with respect. Is that the way that we approach older women? Is that the way that we talk? Is that the way we speak the truth? Is our how in line with the way Paul calls Timothy to speak to these different demographics? And finally, younger women as sisters in all purity. If this one was taken more seriously, we would see a lot less abuse of power and authority, a lot less sexual immorality by men and leaders who exploit young women in the church. Paul tells Timothy to treat the younger women when you're correcting them. Remember, the context here is all about how you deal with these different people. He's to treat them like sisters in all purity. Purity is to be protected. The care of young women is vital for Timothy's role. He's obviously to guard himself from any lust or ungodly view of these young women in the church. He's to see them as sisters. Purity is going to be the key. And furthermore, you look at the way that we have to operate at times in the church, to correct them, these women, these young women in their sinful behavior would mean some proximity to them, some vulnerability, perhaps some tears as the young women are corrected and they open up and they confess their sin and they're honest, and there's this responsive humility and submissiveness, the way that all believers are to operate. But there could be a vulnerability there, in which a church leader is supposed to be very careful with, very wise, very prudent with. Unlike false teachers who will lure young women in and engage in immorality, the man of God is to see the younger women as his own sisters, reveling in their spiritual well-being, keeping an eye on the flock lest predators seek to prey on them in their times of weakness, and undoubtedly never even coming close to exploiting or manipulating a young woman in her moment of vulnerability in a time of correction. When you combine passages like this one with Galatians 6, 1 to 2, and the spiritual restoration of believers, and was further with 1 Timothy 1 5, where Paul says, the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from a sincere faith, you don't have a model within the church for, you know, who cares how I say it. It's the truth. Look, when it comes to dealing with one another, not false teachers again and real divisive people, when it comes to dealing with each other, family, the Holy Spirit was the original tone please when he authored Scripture and called believers not to leave their brotherly love outside the door. Yes, confront sin. Yes, deal strongly with dividers and predators, and yes, speak the truth. But remember the how matters when you're dealing with the family of God. Are you and I talking to other believers in a way that honors the Lord? Do we need to take inventory of our tone and our attitude on certain issues? Could it be that we at times misdirect frustration with false teachers towards beloved brothers and sisters with whom we ought to be kinder to in the midst of disagreement? I know I've made that mistake, and I've needed to go back to God's word on these matters time and time again, and perhaps you do too. Don't ever tone down the truth with the family of God, but do remember that our tone does matter. We are to operate with a spirit of gentleness. There is to be a meekness known among us. You look at the life of Jesus, no better example than him. He turns the tables over in the temple. Why? The money changers, the scammers, the liars, the manipulators, the deceivers, yes, strongly dealt with them. Cracks the whip. With the Pharisees, you brood of vipers, you whitewashed tombs, you exploiters, you liars, you hypocrites, you're of your father the devil. Yeah, strong, and that's a that's an aggressive tone with these religious Pharisees, false teachers, manipulators, and abusers. But with the family of God, with those whom he loved, those whom he called, those whom he saved. He was gentle, he was kind, he was loving, he was clear, he still said, Go and sin no more. But there's this way about Christ in which he is humble, and yet he is our warrior king, and he will return, and a sword will come from his mouth, he'll smite the wicked, he'll defeat the enemies of God, and he will establish his kingdom, and his kingdom will have no end. He is a warrior, he is a conquering king. But the way he is with his flock, he gathers the sheep, he cares for the sheep, and at times, oh yes, he corrects the sheep, all with a spirit, with a tone, and with a goal of love and purity. Let's follow the Lord's example today in that. I hope this episode has given you food for thought and things to pray through as the year unfolds and you look to operate in a way that honors the Lord in all areas of your life. Thank you so much for listening and for your support for the gospel for free content and to support this ministry through a monthly partnership or end of your gift. You can go to for the gospel dot org. I will be back next Monday with another episode. For now, keep on living for the gospel.