Welcome to the For the Gospel podcast, where we provide sound doctrine for everyday people. I'm your host, Costi Hinn. And whether you're listening to this on your favorite podcast platform like Apple or Spotify, or you're watching this on our YouTube channel, I'm really thankful that you've joined me for this episode. Now, last episode, I started a two-part series on kindness because it's one of the most important and powerful Christian qualities. Of course, it's one of the fruit of the spirit, so we want to see it flow out of our lives, but that can be difficult because we are sinners. And in God's timing this past week, I experienced the unkindness of others in a unique way. I'm sure you've had these experiences as well. It was really interesting. I was talking to my wife thinking I did an episode on unkindness, and I have another one next week. And randomly people just started slandering our ministry, attacking our church. I was getting accused of all sorts of things, including misrepresenting the gospel. And I'm not alone. That happens to you, that happens to me. But really funny, the other day I was talking with a few brothers after my men's Bible study, and a similar thing happened to them. They said, Hey, I was listening to the episode on kindness, and one gentleman in particular was driving, the other was at the gym, and each was dealing with frustrating people. One guy at the gym where it's just loathsome behavior, people more interested in flexing for social media than getting strong and getting on with their day. The other guy was dealing with road ragers. And we just kind of chuckled thinking, isn't that how it works? You stead up, you set out to study something, you want to grow, or the old kind of funny cliche where, you know, be careful praying for humility. God will give you extremely challenging circumstances and he will humble you to grow your humility. Be careful what you pray for. God will do it. Well, you set out to grow in an area and it's gonna get tested. It is not always easy to be kind, especially when you didn't do anything to deserve the unkindness, and you want to kind of fire back. Well, there are particulars, what I would call kindness killers, that the Bible highlights, and we need to be able to identify these in our own hearts because that's an excellent first step in our strategy to pursue kindness. So here in this second episode, I want to address three kindness killers first, and then I want to provide you with four ways to eradicate unkindness from the word of God. Killer number one is bitterness. Bitterness. It's impossible to be kind when you're holding a grudge. You can't hold on to kindness and hold on to bitterness. The two are like oil and water. And the venom of bitterness will always, like a snake bite, paralyze your kindness. Killer number two, anger. Anger is an emotion that's rooted in a deeper heart issue, I would describe it as. It's something going on deeper inside of your heart. And so we should always ask, why am I angry? What am I getting angry about? If you get to the bottom of that question, you're going to discover the unresolved heart issue that's holding your kindness hostage. If we can identify why we're getting angry, what's at the root, and deal with that, well, then we can begin to work towards a more kinder demeanor. As an aside, I did a series on anger here on the podcast that you might benefit from if you've not listened to it before. You can scroll back in time on Apple or Spotify and find the series. It's multiple episodes or on the video podcast. You can go to the playlist option on YouTube and then podcast, and you can scroll and you'll find it there. Killer number three, selfishness. Selfishness leads to isolation, it leads to broken relationships. Proverbs says, He who separates himself seeks his own desire. There's these people that they're kind of lone rangers. They they just do their thing and they're unkind. And usually they'll accuse you of just being sensitive or or being just so touch and go. And you don't know. They're just they're selfish. They isolate themselves. And what this does eventually is lead to spiritual emptiness. Selfishness kills kindness because kindness requires a focus on others. And that's impossible to embrace when we're primarily focused on ourselves. And so maybe, just maybe, if you're one of those people that struggles with chronic moodiness, it could be that you are unkind and you're selfish, and the root of it needs to get brought to the light before you can actually sustain kindness in your life. Maybe you try to be kind and it runs out, like a fuse that just goes too short. Or maybe you are exhausted from trying to think of all the ways in which you can do a better job so that your wife, perhaps, if you're a man, stops telling you how you're always isolated and you just do your thing and you're this and you're that and you're you're trying to get to the bottom of it. Have you ever looked under the hood and just been really honest and said, I'm a selfish person? And then not been okay with that, because confession's not enough, but actually do something about it and put a greater focus in your life on others. You kill the flesh and you put on righteousness, the righteousness of Christ. But what I mean by that is you put on the new man, the obedience to God, and you kill selfishness. That is a kindness killer. But if you kill the kindness killer, you're gonna be kind. If you can diagnose one or more of those, bitterness, anger, and selfishness. You've taken a big step forward in your fight against this sin because you can confess that to the Lord Jesus, you receive his forgiveness, and your bitterness, your anger, your selfishness are gonna go because they get brought into the light. But again, we don't stop at confessing wrong things and receiving forgiveness. We also receive his grace and strength to go and do the right things. So, what do we do? In light of the gospel and the fact that God has saved us, and in light of the fact that Jesus and his grace is transforming us day after day by the power of the Holy Spirit, what do we do? Because you can't just sit around and get puffed up with knowledge and claim grace, grace, grace, grace, and then go, well, I'll just, you know, not really do much or think about it. You know, God will do it. Uh no, the Bible's really clear that we need to take steps of obedience and not become passive in our desire to live for the Lord. And so once sin is out, we need to strategize and then put that before the Lord and ask for his help and trust his strength. And so, number one, prioritize others over self. Shocker, but that's just what the Bible describes as Christ's example. It's what he modeled for us in Philippians 2, verse 3. Paul says, Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus. The Lord Jesus is the premier example of kindness, and his greatest act of unmerited grace and kindness is that he laid down his life to prioritize us over himself. And so if we're to be kind, we begin by looking to Jesus Christ and his example and seeing others the way Jesus sees and saw us. He left the heights of heaven to prioritize our redemption. Therefore, we prioritize others over ourselves in order to pursue kindness. So now you see, when I talk about doing and obeying and strategizing and coming up with what's the next step, it's all wrapped up in Christ. And it's about looking to his example. And in that, oh yeah, we take the next step, following in his footsteps. Number two, experience the joy of service. If you want to kill unkindness and kill the kindness killers that I mentioned earlier, serve others. This is going to be counterintuitive, okay? I want you to roll with me a bit. Paul the Apostle is talking about serving and being poured out as a drink offering in Philippians chapter 2, verses 17 and 18. I was studying this recently with my small group, and we're discussing what it means to be poured out as a drink offering, and service and sacrifice were the two, quote, S's that kept coming up. It's offering ourselves, like Paul, who ultimately was following the example of Jesus, for the sake of the church and for the sake of the gospel. And what does Paul say in those verses? He says, Sharon, my joy. It's my joy. I don't want you to worry about it. Don't feel bad for me. Don't mope around and don't come to my pity party if I throw one, although Paul never was. It's not a drag, it's a joy. His service and his sacrifice weren't easy, but they brought fulfillment. We're designed for that, you know? And serving is going to eradicate unkindness in your life because it's hard to hate and it's hard to hold on to bitterness and it's hard to be selfish when you choose to serve. I was talking to a friend recently, and they were talking about how serving is difficult and it requires time and sacrifice. This individual has young children. And they were going on about also how it's not necessarily our default attitude in the church, whether it's helping with an event or making a meal or visiting a hospital or serving in children's ministry, discipling families, marriages, students, or like in our church, we have a church plant and we have set up and teardown. I mean, the secret superstars of the church. It's not me, the preacher, it's not the people who sing the lights out, although our lights stay on, uh, no shade to anyone, but it's those people that are just sweating after and before to make sure that people can walk in to gather as the church in a very put-together auditorium, what we would call a sanctuary. And then my friend says this to some degree: you're exhausted, sure. It's tiring, okay. You're at church earlier and later than others, and it gets in the way of your comfort. But the joy and the fulfillment you experience is so real. Being kind is rooted in service of others, and that service is a choice, not based on feelings, but based on the truth. And then, like God so often does, He fills our hearts, not with exhaustion. He doesn't empty us of everything. No, he fills us with joy, not drudgery, after the fact. So if you're having trouble putting on kindness, it may be that service of yourself is feeding your selfishness, only you're still miserable deep down. And so instead, serve others, trust the Lord, and here's what you'll find the blessing of joy like none other. Number three, seek wisdom from above. You want to be kind, you want to eradicate unkindness, you gotta get your wisdom from the Lord. I was meditating on James chapter three, verses 16 to 18 recently, and the difference between wisdom from above and that which is demonic wisdom, as James puts it. One fuels and stems from selfish ambition. That's what he says. Where there's selfish ambition, you're gonna find every evil work. It's demonic wisdom. Jealousy fuels that selfishness fuels that. And the other fuels and stems from purity, peace, gentleness, reasonableness, mercy, good fruits. He also says being unwavering and then without hypocrisy. Wisdom from above will put that in your life, in your head, in your heart. It's what's going to flow out of you. And so if you want to be kind, go to God's word, go to him in prayer, fall to your knees and say, God, I believe what James 1:5 says. I believe that you will pour out wisdom upon me. And so I ask it right now of you. And I trust and faith you'll do it. I need wisdom for trials, wisdom for my attitude, wisdom for my sin. I don't want to have selfish ambition and jealousy in my heart. I don't want to have my way and my opinion. And no, I want what you have. And so I'm gonna follow. I'm gonna be submissive, I want to be humble. Grant me wisdom from above, and you will find selfish ambition and unkindness and selfishness, bitterness, anger all begin to fade and joy and clarity fill your heart. Finally, number four, choose to love. If you want to eradicate kindness and extinguish bitterness and anger and selfishness, choose to love. I'm talking about Christian love, genuine Christian love, which is a choice. It's not based on a feeling, it's a choice. It's choosing to love, it's choosing your affection for Jesus over your affection for self. And it's agape love. It's the kind of love that God has shown us in the gospel and through the cross. It's the kind of love that we're called to emulate when Ephesians 5.1 says, put on love, imitate God and his love and love one another. It's the kind of love that is unconditional, non-transactional. It chooses to serve others, to show kindness to others, to meet their needs, not because of anything they'd done, but simply because of love. And that messes with our human mind and the natural mentality that we all have an inclination to. Well, I'm gonna love them. Why? Well, just because, because of love. Even in parenting and in marriage relationships, oftentimes people feel like they are good because they do good. Or, you know, you say, I'm so proud of you to your son, I'm so proud of you to your daughter, you know, why? And you say, Well, because you won, or because you scored the most points, or because you drew the best picture, or because you got the best grades. I'm so proud of you. And what we're called to do, and what is some of the most healthy practice in a home, in a marriage, in any relationship, is just, hey, I'm so proud of you. You know, why? Well, because you're you're my son. I'm so proud of you. Why? Because you're my daughter. I love you so much. Why? What did I do? Nothing. I just love you because you are my wife. I love you because you are my son. I love you just because you're my daughter. Nothing you do makes me love you. I just love you. This is what God has shown to us. The Bible says, While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. It was because of God's great love and his mercy that he sent Christ. In first John 3, 16 to 18, we read this we know love by this, that he laid down his life for us, and we then ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or tongue, but in deed and truth. John is saying in that passage, look, you can't say you love, and there's no action. Look at God's love. God's love from his own volition, not because anything someone did, but from his own heart. It acted. It sent the Son. And so for us, not because of anything others do or have done, but simply because of love, we act. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Kindness can be difficult because the enemy will not go down without a fight. He's gonna fight tooth and nail to hinder your kindness and put barriers to keep you operating in a way that does not bring glory to Christ. But if we'll go back to God's word when selfishness, anger, and bitterness take up arms against us, and we fight those sins with selflessness, service, wisdom from above, and love, while unkindness will not take up residence in our hearts for long. It will get evicted, better still, eradicated. If it would help your home, your grandkids, or your classroom, I want to remind you my wife and I have written a book. It's a brand new children's book, to help you teach your kids about kindness. It's appropriately called the farmer who chose to plant kindness, and it's in the show notes here on YouTube, and we have links to it and posts about it on our Instagram page as well. And you can check out the book anywhere books are sold, whether that be Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, it's even on Target, or you can go to forthegospel.org and check out our store if you want to purchase it from us directly. It's a gospel-centered way to teach and disciple four to eight-year-olds, grandkids, Sunday school classes, and elementary classes about this all-important fruit of the spirit. But maybe, just maybe, and I know this to be the truth. My wife and I wrote it so that we ourselves, as parents, as leaders, as grandparents, and as teachers, can be reminded as we teach others about kindness that we are called to the same glorious characteristic. And for that, we look to Christ and His help. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. Thank you for supporting. And I hope these resources bless you and also give you something to share with others. Perhaps a great act of kindness being to share the truth on social media online and with your friends and neighbors this week. I'll be back next Monday with another episode. Keep on living for the gossip.