Welcome to the For the Gospel Podcast, where we provide sound doctrine for everyday people. I'm your host, Kosti Hinn, and whether you're listening to this on your favorite podcast platform or watching on our YouTube channel, thanks for joining me for this episode. I want to talk about friendship today and a particular angle on it that I think is going to be very helpful in our New Year's kickoff series. One of the most overlooked influences on our spiritual growth is not necessarily theology, not just habits or priorities, or even discipline, all things we've talked about. It's relationships, the company that you keep. The people that you and I allow closest to us are either going to strengthen our walk with Christ or slowly weaken it, maybe even quickly, and erode what God has given. And all of a sudden we're looking back, thinking, how'd we get like this? Well, the company that you've kept. And scripture doesn't treat this lightly at all. I'm thinking about 1 Corinthians chapter 15, where Paul's correcting the Corinthians on their uh, you know, erroneous view of the resurrection, really rooted in false teaching that has been corrupting the church. There was sin, there were people in Corinth not doing what they ought to. And Paul does something very interesting. In the midst of correcting the theology, he says, Do not be deceived, verse 33. Bad company corrupts good morals. He goes on to say, Become sober-minded as you ought. Stop sinning, for some have no knowledge of God, and I speak this to your shame. Very interesting that Paul, in the middle of correcting the theology, says, And quit, quit being uh a fog-brained, polluted Christian. And you know what the root of this is who you're hanging around with. The people talking to you, the people teaching you. Paul does not say they might corrupt. He said bad company corrupts good morals. And that means that godly growth is going to require relational discernment. I think many Christians stay in harmful relationships and keep toxic friendships because they're afraid, not necessarily because of love. And I think we can all relate to this. At times we're all afraid of conflict. We don't want to be misunderstood, we don't want to appear unkind. But scripture never calls us to steward every relationship equally. It calls us to steward our souls faithfully. And so in 2026, I want us to identify friendships that are growing us closer to Christ and put healthy distance between the ones that are. And so let me help you identify some toxic patterns that, if left unchecked, are gonna put you on the wrong end of Paul's exhortation. Bad company corrupts good morals. This is not about labeling people. And to be honest, we've all stumbled in various ways. And some of the things that I lay out, you're gonna go, man, I've done that. Who hasn't? Yes. But our desire should be to guard our own hearts, repent of our own sin, and then recognize the patterns in the people around us to ensure we're not being corrupted by their toxic, sinful, unrepentant behavior, if that's what they're doing. This is all about recognizing patterns, and it's about your life and mine and our relationship. So toxic friend number one, the gossiper. The gossiper. Proverbs 16, 28 says, a perverse person spreads strife, and a slanderer separates close friends. Proverbs 20, verse 19 warns even further. He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets. Therefore, do not associate with a gossip. So if someone's a gossip, the Bible's really clear. Don't even associate with them. A gossiper feeds on information that doesn't belong to them, spreads suspicion under the guise of concern. I just want to pray for you, or hey, did you know this? Or I'm just, you know, the fruit's always the same, though. It's rotten. And gossip doesn't always sound malicious. Sometimes it sounds compassionate, sometimes it is just, you know, subtle, but it violates confidentiality, it violates love, and usually involves some kind of slander. And so here's the warning sign to look out for: conversations with particular friends right now that consistently revolve around other people's failures, their flaws, their problems, controversies, rarely about scripture growth or Christ or our own hearts, but always about other people, disclosing information, secret kind of things that no one should be talking about, or that are just not your business, or even revealing things that are surprises that aren't yours to reveal, but you just go on and on and on. Yeah, those are the kind of people you want to back off from. The resolve in 2026 then is this I'll refuse to participate, whether actively or passively. Listening without speaking is still participation. And so if you consistently remain silent, you're enabling the sin. If you keep hanging out with people like that and you don't bring influence from God's word into it, first of all, you're not being a good friend. And second, you're allowing them to continue to be a terrible friend. So lovingly shut the conversation down or maybe just step away from them altogether. Toxic friend number two, the liar. The liar. Proverbs 12.22 says it plainly. It's like that's as clear as day. Ephesians 4.25 commands that believers put away falsehood. We speak the truth to one another. So we don't deal with liars. The liar doesn't always deal in outright falsehoods. Also, by the way, often this is half-truths, which can make discerning them really difficult because you think, well, some of that's true. Exaggeration, selective storytelling, constantly shifting narratives. And over time, the result is the same. The erosion of trust. And you'll know this, even right now, as I tell you, go, ah, yeah, there's some relationships because you feel unsettled. You replay the conversations and you have to figure out every time what's real, what's not, what's manufactured, what's genuine. Truth is the foundation of trust. And so if a friendship isn't built on truth, well, how can there be trust? We don't even have friendship. Here's the warning sign. You feel like you're always trying to piece together reality with this person or these people. You're unsure which version of the story you're really getting. So the resolve in 2026, distance yourself from anybody who treats truth casually. That doesn't mean that you're gonna have public confrontation in every case, but it does mean you're gonna refuse to anchor your life to someone who refuses to anchor themselves to honesty. Toxic friend number three, the transactor. Proverbs 19, 6 to 7 really observes what many people are like when someone around them is generous or gives a lot or does what they want. And then when they don't get what they want from you, they vanish. I'm gonna turn there in my Bible. Proverbs 19. If you're watching on YouTube and you want to pause this and grab your Bible, do it. If you're working out or you're walking or you're reading, well, no, you're not reading or listening to a podcast. You're uh cleaning or driving, whatever the verb is that you're doing. I got you. Here we go. Proverbs 19. And I want to read verses six to seven. Many will seek the favor of generous man. And every man is a friend to him who gives gifts. Who doesn't love gift givers? All the brothers of a poor man hate him. How much more do his friends abandon him? Okay, so you now you're poor, you don't have anything to give, they're gone. What does the Proverbs say? Well, it says that people are just sometimes your friend because what they can get from you. And Jesus addresses this directly in Luke 14, 12 to 14, when he warns against inviting only those who can repay you. The transactor views friendship as an exchange. They show up when there's benefit, whether that be access or opportunity or some emotional support, and then they'll disappear if there's a cost. You are a resource, you're not a relationship. And so, what's the warning sign to watch out for? You feel used, not known. You feel needed, not loved. You're valued for what you provide, but not who you are. Biblical friendship is covenantal. It's not conditional, it bears burdens, it stays present in seasons of weakness, it works it out. And so the 2026 resolve is this: Invest in covenant-minded relationships, not consumers. Look for friends who remain when there's nothing to gain. They just love you because they love you. Toxic friend number four, the manipulator. There's a passage in Romans chapter 16, verses 17 and 18 that centers on false teaching and people that are causing division in the church through false teaching, and it warns believers to watch out for those kind of people. And it says they deceive hearts through smooth and flattering speech. You gotta watch out for that. And I'm not talking about people that are kind and sweet, or pay you a compliment, or are nice to you, or always have something positive to say. I've got a Canadian buddy that I golf with sometimes. And, you know, when the two of us are together, I'm Canadian, he's Canadian. We have another buddy that will golf with us, or a couple of them, and we'll often joke with each other. And one day we were out golfing, and I just said, Oh, that's such a great shot. Way to go. That, hey, there you go. And he had corrected something in his swing or whatever it was. I was just complimenting. And then, you know, a few minutes later, I shot and it was a good shot. He goes, Oh, great shot. And our buddy started messing with us and said, You know, you two Canadians, oh, you're great, great golfer. No, you're a better golfer. Oh, great shot. No, you, no, I love your shot. Hey, that's a great shirt. No, I love your shirt. All those things. So we have this joke, you know, Canadians are so polite. They just they'll compliment you and say nice things to you. So I'm not talking about being complimentary of someone or just saying positive things and saying, yeah, I could say something crass or sarcastic, but I'm choosing to say something that builds up and edifies. So hear me on this. I'm talking about manipulation, where there's actually animosity behind the words and behind the smile. Proverbs chapter 26 speaks to this. It's a fake, insincere person. He's up to no good. He really doesn't like you. He just says things to manipulate you. It says in Proverbs 26, 23 to 26, like an earthen vessel overlaid with silver dross are burning lips and a wicked heart. Meaning there's this earthen vessel. It's something not anything, but it's covered with shiny silver. But underneath burning lips, a wicked heart. He who hates, verse 24, disguises it with his lips, but he lays up deceit in his heart. People will lie to you with their mouth, but in their heart they can't stand you. Verse 25. When he speaks graciously, do not believe him. There are seven abominations in his heart. Though his hatred covers itself with guile, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly. Eventually it's going to come out. Manipulators are usually up to no good. They'll use guilt, pressure, flattery, emotional leverage, spiritual leverage, all to control outcomes. And they often frame control as care. You know, I just I just want to help. I just care about you. Oh, God really put this on my heart while quietly steering you wherever they want. Manipulation thrives in confusion and silence. And so you got to clarify all that. What's the warning sign? You feel emotionally cornered, you feel obligated, and you feel chronically confused after interactions with this person or these people. Your peace diminishes rather than increases. You feel like there's just it's it's almost like a fog after being around them. The resolve in 2026 is this walk in the light. Healthy relationships welcome clarity. So their flattery is going to be met with honesty. You're going to say what needs to be said, and you're going to be on the alert. If they use manipulation, it's a red flag, not a virtue. And you can see through it. Finally, toxic friend number five, the derailleur. The derailler. I want you to think of your life like a train, and this person derails you. Proverbs 13, 20 says, Whoever walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. I talk to my kids about this all the time when we're picking friends. Hebrews 12, 1 says, lay aside every encumbrance, not just sin, but every weight that hinders your endurance. That can be some relationships. And the derailer is not always immoral or overly sinful. They're actually usually pretty fun, pretty likable. They're well-meaning, but they consistently pull you away from discipline, obedience, and growth. That's why Hebrews 12:1 urges that. Lay aside every weight that hinders endurance, every encumbrance. It's like running a marathon with a parka. My friend Kyle once said that. And I remember thinking of that, and the visual was hilarious. You could run a marathon with a parka, and that's fine, but not advisable. The derailleur isn't necessarily leading you into sin, not overtly sinful. And they're fun and the things they suggest, oh, it's not too bad. Well, pretty soon you're fading from your commitments. Time with them weakens your spiritual habits. Prayer fades. Scripture intake declines. Your convictions soften. So some warning signs. Your spiritual disciplines are consistently compromised by this person or these people or that group. So the 2026 resolve is this: choose friends who sharpen, not sidetrack. Not everyone who slows your growth is malicious, so don't take it that way. But they might be harmful to your spiritual momentum. So guard your time with them. Be careful. Maybe a better way to say it isn't toxic friendship, but discern this friendship. The other ones are toxic, but the derailler, well, it just needs to be put in a healthy place within your life. Now, I want to make something clear in closing. None of this teaching is meant to fuel your pride, your isolation, or your self-righteous separation. If anything, you should be able to spot these patterns in your own life and be careful of them yourself, but also see them in a friend and have a clear conversation with them. Now, if you've ever had a if you've already had a conversation with them and they don't want to change or they don't care, then move on. But give your friend a chance. See if they're just erring and they didn't notice it. Call on them to look to Jesus, who was also a friend of sinners, and then helped shape them. Because the bottom line is this it's about stewardship of your soul. And many times over, you'll have really honest, open conversations with friends, and it's a loving, healthy thing to call it out. And now we don't need to create distance. We can actually close the gap. But there will be relationships where people just can't stop. They are one of the big five there. And you got to put some healthy distance, not to punish them, but to protect your own heart and mind. And so ask yourself as you step into 2026 and we see January begin to unfold, and February and March and April, May are upon us. What are the relationships in your life that are helping you thrive? And what are the ones that are leading you into sin or astray? Are your closest relationships helping you run your race or quietly weighing you down? Godly growth requires discernment. And discernment's not unloving, it's biblical. And that's usually what the manipulator will be bothered by. They'll gaslight you, say you're just being legalistic, you're being too intense, you're not being loving. No, no, you're setting biblical boundaries. And so choose relationships that help you love Christ more and not less. And understand this: yep, it's very black and white. Have the clear conversation, call it out for what it is, and if they're not humble and responsive, move on. Friendships, while emotional and often attached to work or money or feelings of security and like we belong, must be laid on the altar of our health and relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord. I hope that helps you as you consider friendships and really look at your own life as well. Thanks for listening, thanks for watching, thanks for supporting. And just want to remind you if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel where we release videos and resources and teachings like this every single week. I'll be back next Monday with another episode. Keep on living for the gospel.