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the GET EQUIPPED podcast
#GEP Episode 008: Love is NOT blind and New year resolutions
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Welcome back to the Get Equipped Podcast, where I spill the beans on my life's latest plot twists, including saying "I do" to the love of my life. This isn't your run-of-the-mill catch-up; I'm baring it all, from the trials of organising a weeding to the triumphs of marital harmony. With the new year still fresh, our tradition of setting resolutions takes center stage. Imagine crafting goals that not only propel personal growth but also fortify the foundations of a life shared. That's what my partner and I do, and I'm thrilled to let you in on the bonding that keeps our love evolving.
This episode isn't just about personal revelations; it's a journey through life's inevitable shifts. Remember the carefree spontaneity of your university days? We talk about transitioning from that to the structured world of adulting, where responsibilities loom and hobbies like binging "Love is Blind" become the unexpected bonding base in a relationship. And speaking of reality TV, we don't hold back on dissecting the love triangles and wedding drama that have us all yelling at our screens. These stories aren't just entertainment; they're a looking glass into the complexities of love and the real-life lessons we can extract from them.
As we wrap up, I send you off with a weekend blessing, hoping to inspire you to be that beacon of light in someone's life. It's all about the ripple effect of kindness, and I'm here to remind you that your actions carry weight in this world. So, as you step into the upcoming week, take a piece of this conversation with you—may it be the courage to face your own transitions or the joy of shared laughter over reality TV plot twists. Let's make this life a beautiful journey together, one episode at a time.
Instagram: @GepWeb
You are listening to the Get Equipped Podcast with your host, daxel King, so so yo, what's happening?
Speaker 2people? It's your host, axel King. Welcome back to the Get Equipped Podcast. It's been a long time. It's been two years, man. So everyone, welcome to the three or two people listening. Two or three people listening. Welcome back to the Get Equipped Podcast. I can't even speak. Welcome back to the Get Equipped Podcast.
Speaker 2So it's been two years. It's been two years. It's been two years and a month probably, because the last time I recorded was probably around the month of March, when we were doing the Women's Month. So, yeah, I just wanna. When we're doing the women's month. So, yeah, I just want to say it's been two years of growth. That I will tell you for sure. Let me just make myself comfortable, let me make myself a home. Let me just adjust the microphone a little bit so I can be able to speak properly. Yes, ooh, first of all, it feels nice to speak in the microphone again, honestly, because it's been a long time. So I kind of forget what it feels like to hear myself already in the microphone. These microphones are good man, honestly good man, honestly. Um, anyway, the fact that we can do this in the comfort of our homes, we thank god. We thank god.
Speaker 2So, yeah, um, a lot of people have asked me if I would ever go back to podcasting or what had happened to like content creation, because I had many plans. Um, I'll just say life happened. Okay, life happened. So it's been a bit challenging to record, both in positive and negative ways, but mostly positive. Okay, if you're closer to me, you would have known that I got married, um, in the meantime. Uh, so there's just so much adjusting to do, adjusting, adjusting to do when it comes to like podcasting, where does it fit in my life? Also, I just never felt like it, you know. I mean, and that's why I like, I like to be an entrepreneur. Okay, because, let's say, if I was not an entrepreneur when it comes to this side of things, I would rather use the word independent. Yes, because, let's say, if you're signed by, like a radio, or you have a contract, eventually I would like to get into that.
Speaker 2But the positive about this is, if my mind is not at it, I don't want to do this. Okay, it has nothing to do with my resilience. I see podcasting as leisure, all right, so I'll never take it that seriously unless it's not making you like serious money. But even even then I would. I would want it to be on my terms so I can just walk out or walk away whenever I want. You know, I mean nothing tired me to doing this.
Speaker 2I started this by myself, took a break by myself for myself. So good news is I really, really feel like recording again. So I'm probably going to be dropping every two, every two weeks, every two weeks at first, then probably get into the mojo of like every week, where are my manners? Happy New Year, guys. So it's been four months already in 2024. Back home we say Happy New Year until like February, march. Yeah, you get an auntie who tells you Happy New Year in March. So I'll be the uncle who tells you Happy New Year in March. So I'll be the uncle who tells you Happy New Year in April, shamelessly okay. So Happy New Year to all of you guys who are listening. It's been a long time. Your friend is good.
Speaker 2The way we always start the podcast is I always ask my guests about their mental health. Okay, so it's been two years. So it will be hard for me to give you like a summary of my mental health over the past two years. So what I'm going to do is over the next few weeks. Okay, over the next few episodes I'll get the time to get into more details.
Speaker 2I mentioned my marriage, me getting married. I'll probably have like not an an episode, but like a section of one of these coming episodes, but I'll just like tell you about how to prepare or what had to come. What an amazing time it was with family and friends and my wife. You know, I mean, I always refer to her as my fiance, but now she's the wife of my husband. You know, I mean feels like a dream. But I feel like, six months into the marriage, we've adjusted. Okay, we're getting there, we're adjusting. It's like it's something totally new. Okay, I've never shared. The thing is I have lived by myself for a long time. Okay, even when I had roommates, I really had my private space and all that. So it's a big adjustment, but it's a positive one. What a beautiful experience it has been so far. I'll have the time to get into it honestly. And marrying someone who you truly like, who you truly know, who you truly love, who you truly consider your friend or best friend, to such an extent it makes things a lot easier. So it's been a beautiful experience, but we'll get time to get into that.
Speaker 2So, to get us started, today I'd like to speak about new year's resolutions. Is that, is that? Is that something that you guys do? Okay, every year, do you just sit down and just like, reflect and be like you know what? This year, this is what I want to do because because, as someone who's in a relationship, um, every so often I'll say at the end of each year, but we try to do it more regularly, or we tried every end of the year, we have this date where we sit down, and you've probably seen something similar on Instagram, but not that we've copied or were inspired by that, probably, even maybe subconsciously. But my point is we sit down and just look at the way we're conducting, the way we are relationshiping OK, and I know I've made up the word, but you know English is so easy with those type of things. Up the word, but you know english is so easy with those type of things the way we are relationshiping is, is, is, is, um, so we sit down and we start discussing it basically. So so this is these are the things that have annoyed me over the year. So these are the things that I've seen progress on over the year.
Speaker 2I feel like you never used to understand me when I did this, but I feel like now you understand where I'm coming from, even myself I I'll be like okay, there are things that at first I never understood because, guys, there's a difference between dating and being in a committed relationship. When you are planning to get married. Okay, there are layers that you tap into that you never have or you never would have in like a normal dating relationship. I have dated in my life before. My longest relationship before this one was eight months, but I had never connected with with the person to that. To that extent you know I mean. So when you're dating girlfriend, boyfriend it's a bit like at the surface.
Speaker 2Someone the other day on a podcast was saying that dating is. You don't really get to know the person. Why? Because boyfriend. Girlfriend is like a. What's the word he used? He used a very accurate word. It's like a performance. Yeah, it's like a football game. It's a once off. So I see her once a week. I just have to be my best self when I see her and when I go home I can just do whatever I want to do. Okay, but now you live with a person 24-7. This is in the marriage. So when you are building towards that, there are walls that are coming down, okay. So you get to experience a different side of relationship, to experience a different side of of relationship. So at the end of the year, when you sit down with your fiance, with my then fiance, when we sat down and we just look at the new year okay, this new year, but but at the end of 2023 we're already married. But let's say, at the end of 2022, we sat down. I remember we dated uh, it was a restaurant in santan, I forgot the name we sat down and we just looked at, okay, we reflected, we reflected, we see, okay, this is what's going on. I think we did that again, like, uh, on our honeymoon just to look at, okay, this is what living with you has been so far. I think that was like a month into the marriage. So these type of things allow you to set uh goals for the coming year as a couple. Okay.
Speaker 2But now I'm talking about your personal new year resolutions. I feel like for a long time, I overrated the new year resolution. I'm not going to call it a challenge, because I feel like it turned into a challenge. I overrated or overlooked the new year resolution trend, if you lack of a better word. So I've overlooked it for such a long time that this year I was like you know what I think from last year, but it didn't really work out. I feel like this year I was like you know what. I want to be early everywhere I go. Okay, I want to give myself 15 minutes. I have an appointment at 10. I'll show up. Show up at 9 45. It's been four months now. Hey, I'll tell you that. Um, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work, but at least this is one of the new resolutions that I've had to take on.
Speaker 2I've realized I'm like, first of all, as a black person. Yeah, there, there is. There is this stereotype that black people are always late and you end up realizing it. I work in real estate, okay, and, and one thing I've realized is, every time there's a viewing with a different race or different demographic than black people, these people show up early. Sometimes they show up before me, not saying that I'm late. If the appointment is at 11, I show up at like, um, uh, 10, 10, 50. They are already there at 10 40 sending you a message. Oh, I'll be waiting outside now I'm feeling pressured because you're too early to the appointment. But big up to you because, hey, you are early to the appointment. At least you're not late. Better be early than late, right? So? And and most times not even sometimes most times, I'll tell you, seven times out of ten when it's a black person they show up late. Sometimes they don't even show up and you call them, like, oh, we had an appointment. I'm like, nah, you're taking the piece. I'm already here, bro, I've driven all the way from my house to this appointment and you are disappointing me pun, non-intended, and that's how it works.
Speaker 2So I sat down and I had been guilty of that, I can I promise you, honestly speaking, I had been guilty of that. So I sat down. I'm like you know what this year? Yeah, I'll come early. Everything that happens, do I always do it? No, yeah, I'll come early. Everything that happens, do I always do it? No, but at least it's something that I'm working on. Okay, not that it was a problem, but I think that somebody became a problem. I think even my fiance, then my then fiance, uh, my wife she had told me that before. She's like, bro, like we've had a couple dates and you showed up late. Do you always do this when it's like an appointment and like, hmm, do I?
Speaker 2Then then you sit down and you start reflecting, and and then, and, and this is. This is the good thing about reflection and new year resolutions. Okay, as I said, I've always overlooked it, but I got to the point where I have seen the light. Okay, I see the importance of New Year's resolution Any other New Year's resolution, I think, as we go on, I'll get to talk about them. This is something that I wanted to talk about for a long time, but of course, I hadn't been recording so I couldn't. So now, on this podcast, in my mind, this is January, okay, so I'll take you through everything that happened for the past two years, okay, um, so, yeah, new year resolution.
Speaker 2I just want you to, to, to have to take the time to just look at your life, bro, like self-reflection. I think it's on on the second episode where I speak about emptying your glass. It's. It's this type of things that you need to do, right, you sit down and you look at your own life. You're like you know what? These are the goals that I have for my own life. Okay, and I was talking to my brother-in-law the other day. Um, he came to visit and we were talking about, uh, goals and things to do, and I told him, bro, I am in the process of creating a family. Okay, I'm married now.
Speaker 2I'm not gonna say I'm not saying this in a negative way okay, but you have the freedom of being your own self in this boat, or on this boat. You're by yourself, so you decide to move it left or right, no objection. This is the time for you to do that. So do not wait when you are married or when you have more engagement, or when you have more um, what's the word? Assignments, maybe for you to start making decisions that are a bit selfish. Okay, because when, once you get on board for, like, marriage, you have to be selfless. You have to make sure that this benefits myself and it benefits my partner and, if you have children, it benefits your children as well. But this is the right time for you to make those jumps. If you think this is crazy, it will even be crazier if you wait 10 years and then now you have regrets because you had never tried this. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2I was telling my wife I back in the day she wanted to go bungee jumping. I'm like you should have done this when you were single. You had nothing to lose. But now you have someone in your life who's petrified at the idea of you going bungee jumping, so, no, you're not doing it. I think she did like. What did she do? She jumped from a plane or something. What do you call paragliding? I have no idea, I forgot the name, but it wasn't like parachuting, it's one of these. I think paragliding. That is terrifying. Who jumps from a plane, bro?
Speaker 2People who know my wife, like this girl, she's crazy man and she's had me do things that I'm like if I was by myself. Bro, we went to see elephants on our honeymoons, bro. This thing was on top of the car, not literally, but you know, just imagine this thing was on top of the car, not literally, but you know, just, just just imagine this thing was like like 30 centimeters away from the car and she has seen like lions, leopards, ash man. So, and that's my point, when you are in a relationship, yeah, you become more conscious and cautious, okay, of your surroundings, of everything that you have to do, because it's not just yourself. You cannot be selfish in doing certain things, okay, you cannot just go clubbing anyhow. Be selfless, think of other people. So there are a lot of instances like this, and I say this not to give people who are not pro-marriage ammo.
Speaker 2I'm not saying that because this is coming from a very positive place. This is coming from a place of, because there are advantages and disadvantages. I'll say that I'm not going to sit here and act as if marriage doesn't have disadvantages. But are the disadvantages, uh, that big? No, they aren't okay. Before I got married, I could bang video games all day. No one cared. But I have assignments now. Okay, you could call it a disadvantage, but it's, it's not a big deal. Come on, man, we compromise, but I still get to bang games whenever I want to buy games. Okay, that's my point.
Speaker 2So what I'm trying to get at is there are things you have to do before you get married. There are things that you have to do before you get engaged. There are things that you have to do before you get into the next step. Forget about marriage, because we're talking too much about marriage, because you'll think I'm focusing on marriage. There are things you have to do before you get into the next step. Forget about marriage, because we're talking too much about marriage because you'll think I'm focusing on marriage. There are things you have to do before you go, before you go university. There are things you have to do before you start working.
Speaker 2When you are in university, you can travel the world whenever you want, not not necessarily whenever you watch you. You have more. You have that freedom. It's one person who's traveling. I can have holidays. I can have between semesters, I can. I can go overseas I can. I can travel back home. I can go see family. But when you start working, you can only move.
Speaker 2Whenever you have a break from work. Okay, there's a bank holiday, there's this holiday, there's there's. You cannot just decide okay, today I'm not going to go to work. It doesn't work like that. But back in the days at school, especially university, I don't want to go to the lecture today and I'm not going to go. No one is going to call me to tell me you didn't come to the lecture. You feel me.
Speaker 2So when you start working now you have a manager who's looking at you and be like no, you can't take a break now. This is not the time you take a break. You'll work from nine to five. Your break is at 12, from 12 to 1, and if you miss your break, I'm sorry, my friend. You have to work and and those are the, the, the obligations that you have before you get into a certain place in your life.
Speaker 2Sometimes we look back. Okay, we have these flashbacks of when we were younger and we felt a bit more. I would come back from high school and just throw everything my uniform, my bag the maid will pick them up, she will wash them, I don't care, I'll eat. Then I'll go watch TV, then I'll watch Son Goku. You get the gist. So you grow up and you get to university and you quickly realize, okay, I'm living on res, no one is going to come wash this plate. If I don't wash them, no one is going to come. So there are things that you should have done before you got married. I'll give you a silly example. I'm talking about marriage again. I'll give you a silly example.
Speaker 2I love football, but I spend too much time away from football that I've lost my fitness, so I cannot play to the level that I used to play back then. But I'm so happy that I had to play at that level back then, because now there's no regret. I have memories, I have pictures, I have videos and I know I have the ability. But I don't have the time to go and regain my fitness. So now and then I'll play my Sunday league football. I'll play like a kickabout with friends. Play my Sunday league football, I'll play like a kickabout with friends, but nothing too competitive because I don't have it anymore. But there's no regret because I've done it. I can look at it with nostalgia, but there's no regret because I have memories. I have lived it In the Sunday league realm. I'm a bit of a legend, bruv. I've done it. People know me in the Sunday league.
Speaker 2I couldn't further my career, I couldn't even dream of a career of a football player because I wasn't given the opportunity. But at least I've got something to hang on to. But now that I'm married, my wife is scared that I might break a leg, and imagine me breaking my leg at this age. So I don't want to go back to football, even though I miss it Even myself. I agree, bro. Imagine you break your leg at this age Just walking around with a cast bro, you useless man. For what? For pleasure. You're not even getting paid for this man. Now imagine when you have children. So this pressure is coming in life, but please make sure, before new pressures come, you have achieved a few things that you wouldn't have otherwise. All right, I think I'm waffling a little bit, but you get the hang of it.
Speaker 1You are listening to the Get Equipped podcast with your host, Duxell King.
Speaker 2One thing about getting married or living with somebody is you start picking up their trait, your hobbies. Of course you have different hobbies, you're different people, you're two different people, but your hobbies kind of start converging. All right, so if they don't converge, you guys will find things to do together. You have to. Okay, you guys can date. There's so many things you can do together as a couple, especially as a married couple. The limits are off. I'm just going to say it like that. There's so many things that that make you guys bond.
Speaker 2All right, and and one of the things that I've made us bond my wife and myself is is tv, watching television. I've always been someone who, when I hang with my friends, they'll be talking about the latest one piece. Okay, oh, did you watch episode 1792? There was this and he did that and I'm just quiet, bro, because I don't watch tv like that okay, or they will be talking about the latest avengers. Oh, when thor did this, and then you had the stones of endgame. I don't even know what they're talking about, and they will go on for hours. I don't even know, and I don't even know the names of the actors. That's one thing about me I cannot remember names of actors, so don't come and tell me ryan reynolds.
Speaker 2Okay, I know ryan reynolds, but the other day I was talking, I was telling my brother-in-law about this new show. I was watching the gentleman on netflix and I mentioned uh, you see the villain in in um, what's the show with heisenberg in breaking bad? I don't even know his name, but my brother-in-law already said his name is pop pop, pop pop. I'm like, bro, how do you know these people's names? Because I don't. I don't even have the time to remember their names. You get me.
Speaker 2So when I'm with my friends, they're talking about movies. So I don't watch movies. Even my wife tells me this If we start a movie, I'm going to sleep, yeah, unless we go to the movies. So I'm not going to watch a movie. I'm not going to sit down and waste an hour 45 minutes of my time. But put a crime documentary I. But put a crime documentary. I'm sitting there for seven hours binge watching every single episode until it's done. I need to know who killed him, why and for what. I need to know those things, okay, so, talking about bonding on things to watch on TV, my wife watches a lot of reality shows, things like one of the things.
Speaker 2I'm'm not gonna go on and name all of them because, as I said, I don't remember names of actors and I don't remember names of shows, but one of them that stuck out for me is love is blind. Okay, and most of you would know, love is blind. I started watching love is blind um, I think it was season five. One day my wife was like let's watch this show. I'm like who do you think I am, bro? Have you seen me? You think I'm going to sit down and watch Love is Blind? Just people falling in love. I didn't even understand. To me, love is Blind is a bit like the Kardashians or whatever. Bro, I don't want to watch this. What's this other show that she watches? I think it's um real housewives. So in my head, love is blind is like real housewives and I'm pretty sure I'll probably like real housewives as well if I sit down. But just like pure drama created by the production, I'm not interested. Okay, so she started watching two episodes in. I'm doing my own things. I went to play fifa, I think, so I come back in the evening. She's still watching it. I, bro, you're still watching this show.
Speaker 2It's like episode three now, but, as you've seen on reels on Instagram, yes, typical man. I sat down there five minutes in, I think I'm on my phone. At some point I start asking questions. One thing about me when I'm watching a show, I pick up the names of the actors quickly, but I'll forget them, okay, but I pick, I pick up their names, especially in reality shows. I pick up their names because I'm seeing enough episodes right now, so I'm in tuned. So now I ask her a question why is, why is so and so doing this to so? And so my wife doesn't even remember the names, right, but she's watching, she knows the show, but names even worse than me. So now she's asking me oh, who's this? So you're watching. I'm like I'm not watching man, but two episodes in I am hooked bro. But this is season five. Okay, with the guy, with the bald guy who go rejected at the altar. So now I have thoroughly. I cannot.
Speaker 2I can tell you I had thoroughly enjoyed Love is Blind because, because it's real. Okay, it's, you can say production influences the whole show, but it's real people coming in real time and doing real things. Okay, some people have bad motives, but the whole essence of the show, it's not like a movie where there's a scenario and you have to be an actor and act it out. This is real life, people with their personalities, real tears. Maybe sometimes they do too much, but I would say 70% to 80% of the show is real. At least it feels real to myself and I would like to believe it's real. It adds to the experience. Anyway, a bit like the discussion I had with Melaline Uget about Tinder Swindler, right, something similar with Melaline, you get about what was that? Tinder swindler, right, something similar. So I'll try to talk about it.
Speaker 2So now I'm watching Love is Blind and I'm waiting for the reunion. We watched the reunion. It was saucy, it was a lot of drama, blah, blah, blah. Very interesting. Now we move on to season. Uh, what season is it? Season six, which aired, I think, a few months ago, probably like a month and a half ago. So I'm watching season six and, to my big surprise, it starts off not so interesting. This season was a bit meh. I wish I had done a review in real time when the episodes were coming out, because they were dropping. I think it was last month type of thing, right, I think it was like February, march. They were dropping new episodes. I think I started it inbruary, then it ended in march. Yes, that's what happened. So this is still fresh, but not fresh enough for me to like review episode after episode. So it starts quickly.
Speaker 2You have different, uh, couples and all that. First of all, this is one of the the things that my wife and myself disagreed on. I think chelsea looked a bit like jamie fox, megan fox, okay, but I also understand jimmy's perspective. Okay, you know, before I even get into it, I'm gonna tell you love is not blind. This, this experiment, is saucy, it's dramatic and the public loves it, but the whole essence of the, the whole show is is void, it, it's not real. Not not saying that they are actors, but love cannot be blind and I kid you not.
Speaker 2Most of these people that end up working it out or end up finding like, oh, this is actually my match, is because, first of all, all of them fall in love with the personality that is a given, the personality trait that they fall in love with. Yes, because when they are in those pods yeah, they call them pods when they are in the pods, all of them love it. All of them love the personalities. They interact, they talk about what you like to do. They talk about love languages. They talk about what you like to do. They talk about love languages. They talk about history, they talk about family, they talk about faith. So on paper, they tick the boxes.
Speaker 2And this is where I want to say love is not blind, because if love was blind, all these couples would have gone to the altar and say yes to each other, because within a month there's not enough. That I would have showed you to piss you off. Okay, it's because you do not like the way I look. You're not ready to overlook that. So love is not blind. On the pc here they're showing me. Um, I only have one couple here on this website, but I'll try go through all the couples. So the first couple we have is jimmy and jimmy presnell and chelsea blackwell that's their names. So Jimmy and and and Chelsea Chelsea is the lady who said she looks like Megan Fox.
Speaker 2This is where the it got flawed. I think this relationship was, was always going to fail, and why. This is why as well. Um, the black people's relationship almost, almost fell. Who was it? The black ones? I forgot their names, man, I'll check it later. I think it was clay and I forgot the girl's name.
Speaker 2But when you look at jimmy, jimmy I, I think it's a bit, it's a bit meh for me to say, but I think he's a respectable, averagely attractive white man. I don't know what white people find attractive in their race, but I think, yeah, I think he's good looking. He looks assertive, he knows what he's talking about, he looks confident. There were two or three girls who wanted him in the pods based on personality, the thing that he was saying. He sounded assertive, he sounded confident, and these are the things that girls look for in men.
Speaker 2Okay, so when they they, they do the reveal. He, before I get to the reveal, they are talking one of the rules. I don't think it's like it's it's illegal to do that, but I'm pretty sure they sign ndas and and when they sign ndas, they probably say do not describe yourself physically, or maybe not in the ndas, but I think this is a good advice. This is love is blind. Love is supposed to be blind. I'm not supposed to know how tall you are, how short you are, what's your weight, what's your skin color.
Speaker 2But most of them have done that. They've asked the questions that give them a bit of a physical description, but I I think it's a bit of a cheat. Okay, you're not supposed to do that, so you're doing that kind of defeat. The purpose it defeats the purpose of of love is blind. She goes and says people around me have said that I look like megan fox. Okay, so if I am blind, dating you, all right. And you come out that megan fox has been voted by general public or general opinion as one of the most attractive women on the earth okay.
Speaker 2Did you see where I'm going with this? So, so I am dating you and I have never seen you. This is a blind date. I have never seen you. We are on. Love is blind. And you tell me that you look like beyonce. I'm I'm literally picturing beyonce through the wall and I'm like you know what, with all the personality that I have gathered from this woman, and you add to that beyonce's look, I think I think this has to be the one. My man goes and breaks up with the other girl who I think is more attractive than this one. He breaks up with her because, um, personality, wise, chelsea in the pot.
Speaker 2Chelsea sounds, I think, even outside the pod. I feel, I feel like the other girl I forgot her name, was it vanessa? I'm not sure she has a child. She, she sounds a bit more dominant. She sounds a bit more aggressive in the way she talks. She sounds a bit more um, what's the word like? Just a bit of aggressive with it. Right, she sounds a bit aggressive with it. So she comes. She comes at him a bit too strong sometimes and he's a bit overwhelmed with the feelings. He doesn't know what to do. And then, on the other side, it's a bit more gentle, she sounds a bit more available emotionally, she sounds like she's not putting too much pressure on him and she looks like megan fox. Easy choice he goes and he chooses her. They do the reveal. He looks at her. The first thing that he says is like damn, she doesn't look like megan fox. I think he said something like like I don't like your teeth, or the way your teeth look like, I don't remember man. But when he sees her he's like damn, this is not Megan Fox, not in the slightest. This is not Megan Fox. So, long story short, he ends up breaking up with her because of the repetitive insecurities that she had displayed.
Love Triangle Drama in Reality Show
Speaker 2And this is where I say love is not blind. Love is not blind. Why? Because, first of all, they want people to fall in love in such a short period of time that I don't think it is sustainable for a relationship. You have not gone through counseling. You have probably never been in a serious relationship. For most of these people, when they talk All right, when was your date Six years ago and you want to get married within a month, are you mad? So all these things made the show become very interesting.
Speaker 2But one debate I had my wife and myself is is, is the megan fox? Look, she never knew who megan fox was before. So as soon as the girl said I look like megan fox, she went and googled megan fox and she's like, nah, she, I look like Megan Fox. She went and Googled Megan Fox and she was like, nah, she doesn't look like Megan Fox. But I know what Megan Fox looks like and my thing is I'm not saying they look alike, bro, but I can see what she's trying to say. If she tells me that she's cousins to Megan Fox, I'm like, hmm, I can see the genes, I can see the jeans, I can see the eyes. You probably have the same. I feel like it's some facial features. Okay, you have some facial features of Megan Fox, but you don't look like Megan Fox. So she went a bit overboard with it and he also projected himself a bit way too much. So he thinks, oh, I'm going to date.
Speaker 2Megan Fox Got disappointed. But if you watch the show you can see that, um, she kind of made it easier for him because I feel like he never liked her bro, as much as he was reassuring her, as much as he, he was doing all he was doing. I feel like he was just waiting for the right moment to duck and and he got it multiple times. She did so many bad things. She, she does an episode where she got drunk and she started talking. Just like she was talking, like she was what's the word? I don't want to cuss. She was just she was out of pockets, right, she was just saying the wrong things and he left and he went to sleep in his house and he came back the next day.
Speaker 2This guy will always do this, right, like they will have an argument, and I'm like, yeah, this is it. They're about to break up next day would come and reassure her. I'm like, I'm so confused, bro, because from what I'm gathering from everything that he's doing, he doesn't like her bro. So why is he acting like he likes her? Now he's lying to me as well, because, because I feel a bit confused, because everything that you're showing right now it's someone who is trying to sabotage this relationship, or at least she has given you the wood or the stick to hit her with, but you don't do it. It's a bit confusing to me. But uh, yeah, kaya, long story short a few days before the marriage this is where I think it was wrong.
Speaker 2Okay, so they went like in this show, before you you go to the altar, you have to go, especially for I think it's a bigger thing for women they go and say yes to the dress. That's how they say it, right? So they go and choose the dress for their wedding day. She invited family, everyone knew. I think some people even flew in, bought tickets. I think she went and tried her dress I stand corrected, but I think she went and tried the dress.
Speaker 2She liked the dress, I think a few days before the wedding. She's like I used to do you still want to go on with the wedding. I think she was just checking up on him. There was no big argument happening then. She was like on a scale of one to ten. It was one of these questions like do you feel confident? Do you stand? Do you do you um, what's the word? Do you? Do you lean more towards yes or towards no, towards going to the altar or no? Man said at this point no. She's like huh, but you have not given me any clues to tell me that this is going to fail. I've even chosen the dress and she even told him. Him, like you could have prepared me. You could have told me this earlier, but you have waited until we have come in front of cameras and production to tell me this. Nah, waste man. I think she started crying then. Yeah, that was it with their relationship.
Speaker 2Another relationship I want to talk about is Clay. Man Clay, and I need to pull the name. I forgot her name, man, god, clay, and I have them here. Let me just open the website. This, this I think this is out of all six seasons. I've never I've not watched all six seasons. I think I've watched like three seasons out of six. Okay, so Clay and AD. Clay is 33, ad is 31. Ad is 31. Navigated love triangle triangle my french is coming up uh, navigated love triangle and confronted issues while ultimately finding solace in each other. So, yeah, I'm glad they mentioned the love triangle, because the love triangle is mad.
Speaker 2There was a guy I watch a lot of docu-series, okay, like crime, I said it at the beginning when it comes to crime, I'm focused. So that guy looked like a serial killer. I'm sorry, I said it and everyone else said it on social media. He looked sus all right. So he was saying the same thing to different, to two different girls ad and another girl I think her name was also amber. So ad ended up accepting clay. But clay did something similar to what uh, the uh chelsea did.
Speaker 2Okay, when it comes to like physical eight, um, clay at the beginning was very, very adamant on the fact that he wants to know that his woman is voluptuous. Okay, she's got, she's got um flesh on her. Let me put it away if that's a bit more pg-13. So he wanted to know that his, his girl was. You know, she was physically attractive to him according to his standards. So he was asking questions about what do you look like? Do you have this? Do you not have this? How, how, how big is this? How? It was a mess, okay. But she was also adamant that I'm not going to tell you anything because this is love, is blind and you're defeating the purpose of the whole show. Big up to ad for that. So he ended up apologizing later on. He had to grow blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2But one thing with this guy, yes, one thing with this guy. Every time daddy would talk with ad, he would remind her that he came from a cheating background. So he had deep trauma from his dad because his dad used to cheat on his mom. I'm not going to get too deep into the details, but this is what happened. Okay, so to him, this is all he's ever known as as a role model. Okay, his dad was a cheat. Uh, all the men in his life cheated on their partners, on their wives, so he never knew better. So he was somebody who, it seemed at least, because the thing is, I respect trauma. You know, I respect people's trauma because I've got my own trauma and if I start telling you about my trauma, you will think I'm playing, you think I'm a joke, you think I'm a child, you think man up and grow up. Okay, everyone have trauma. But he gave me the impression that he never wanted to grow, he never wanted to move on, and that was an issue for me, because I'm like bro, like, like this lady.
Love Is Blind Wedding Drama
Speaker 2Ad looks very, very patient with you. She looks like she's, she's the real deal. She looks like she really want to do it for you. She really. She looks like she's here, she's, she's a die right or die for you. But you keep on bringing up the fact that you come from a cheating background. This guy will be talking about something random. I don't want to cheat on you. Uh, I had cereal this morning but I was thinking what if I cheat on her, bro, like, like, it has nothing to do with the conversation right now, what do you have to bring it up all the time? Oh, I feel like I'll cheat on you. I feel like I'm not man enough. I feel like I'll cheat on you. I feel like I'm not man enough, I feel like I'll cheat on you.
Speaker 2There was an episode where, I think, after the the, they left, uh, the pod, they were on holiday, they were on the beach, I think on like a, like a what do you call this? Like a bungalow, okay, and they were. They were just eating, they were eating, but they were talking about something totally unrelated to cheating. And this guy's like yeah, but I don't want to cheat on you, I'm like, bro, like, just leave. Okay, you're wasting her time. But fast forward to the moment where they get to the altar. So the girl, first of all the girl goes and chooses her dress and everyone on social media killed her for the dress. It looked like. You see, it looked like the type of dress like the maid of honor would wear. Okay, it doesn't even look like a wedding dress, but I'm a fashionistaista so I'm not gonna judge. So she comes to the altar.
Speaker 2A lot of people brought up the fact that when she was walking toward him because he went up the altar first when she was looking toward him all the compliment he gave was body. Bro, what compliment is this? Are you in your room with your wife, bro? This is a, this is your wedding day, and all you have to say is buddy. And when I read those mess, the, the tweets and I'm like, yes, this is true, bro, how do you compliment your wife? You don't even say oh beautiful, oh you look amazing, oh you're, you're a queen, you're a princess. Even if you don't mean it, bro, you have to say it. And and on your wedding day, I would believe that you would mean it right, because this is the prettiest girl in in the world, in your life, in your eyes, she's about to be your wife, your life partner, yeah, the potential mother to your children, and all you have to say is body.
Speaker 2But the thing is, um, to be fair, eddie also played into that a lot, a bit too much, when we backtrack a little bit when they they had like a after the pods, they go on holiday, then everyone uh meets for the first time. Because when you're in the pod, it's love is blind, right, so you don't see anyone, okay, you, the only person that you see for women is all women. The women know them, each other be uh amongst themselves and the men on their side. They live with each other so they know them. They know each other's faces, they know each other. They've become friends. So the day that you meet all the other ladies is the day that there's like a I'm not gonna call it a reunion, okay, when everyone has gone on holiday after that honeymoon period, everyone has like like a, like a, like a party day.
Speaker 2I think for this season they did it uh on the beach, I think it was at night on the beach, right, everyone meets, every couple comes, everyone is trying to show uh that my, my relationship is secure, it's solid. So, at the same time, remember, these people have flirted with multiple people in there. I gave you the example of jimmy. Jimmy had uh the the vanessa chick, if her name is even vanessa, the vanessa girl and and chelsea. So there's still feelings there because you have fallen in love to a certain extent or you you had started to like, uh, the personality of one person, but you will never see her until that moment. So when you go with Chelsea and you realize Chelsea doesn't even look like Megan Fox, and today is the day that I get to see the girl that I said no to, who is potentially prettier than Chelsea, hmm, I'm excited, kind of right. So. But in the meantime, when they gave them their phones back, they got to, like, look at each other's Instagram profiles.
Speaker 2I'm so passionate about Love is Blind, and it's a bit uncharacteristic of me because I don't like reality shows, but I don't understand how this. I got hooked into this, you know, and this is why I'm blaming my wife, because she introduced me to this show and together we can gossip on these people. You know what I mean. That is quality time, right. So I said, uh, we backtrack a little bit. Uh, the day when they everyone reunited.
Speaker 2And when they did that, uh, all the men okay, all the men were complimenting ad's look, but in a very sexualized way and I'll say it, bro, it looked very carnal. There was not oh, you look beautiful. It wasn't about your face, it was about your body, everything. They even made some jokes about her body, but it was. It was a lot about her body and she loved it. She loved the attention, she loved the moment. So in the whole show, during the whole show, she banked a lot on her body. At least this is how it came across to me.
Speaker 2So the day of the wedding she's wearing this, um, her wedding dress. There's a. There's this slit do you call it slit? In french is font there's this slit that goes all the way from her, from her um, upper thigh, like upper, upper thigh, all the way down. Okay, so the whole leg is outside on your wedding day, love me man. So she's coming up. He says buddy, and, and I'll give you, and I'll tell you one thing when I saw clay's outfit on that day, I was like, yeah, he's saying no.
Speaker 2I told my wife, I swear to god, I told her this guy is saying no, there's no way you're dressed like this on your wedding day. Are you a security guard? Bro was wearing a black suit, black tie, a fatigued tie, not even tied properly, with black pants that don't even fit him properly. He had nice shoes, I think, from what I can remember, but he looked raggedy. He looked less attract, less less suited than some of the people who attended the wedding. I'm like, yeah, black, black tie on your on your wedding day. Not even a bow tie on your wedding day, you're wearing a black tie like a security man. Nah, man, you're not serious. Both of them were not serious. Both of them were not serious in my opinion. So at that moment I told my wife this guy is gonna say no at the altar.
Speaker 2Another clue that I got was um, when they start saying their vows, yeah, before they say yes or no, they let the woman go first. I'm like, yeah, she, he's saying no. The production knows that this guy is gonna say no and they want her to go first so she can say yes, because everyone knows she wants to get married with him, to him, and she loves him. So when I saw that he was going, she was going first. I'm like, yeah, prepare yourself for the worst right now. It was such a dramatic and and fully emotionally packed episode. I felt for her because she had gone through so much. She had, uh, her little cousins, little nieces.
Speaker 2Everyone came to the wedding, bro, like she was ready that day, she was ready to become mrs clay, but the guy said no. If I say yes right now, it's gonna be irresponsible of me. I'm just. I don't think he spoke about cheating right, I don't think he spoke about it, but he was motivated by that. I can't believe this guy got to the altar and still had the same motives. I think I'm gonna cheat on you. This guy is a waste man. At least then he was bro.
Speaker 2My thing is, I still I don't rate it. I don't rate it, man, like, do not let me choose my dress, do not let me. And this guy was saying it was 50 50. And even when you were telling you were saying your vows, it was still 50 50. I still thought I could go through with us. You're not ready, bro. You're not ready. And this is what I'm saying about this show. This show is, it's good for the public. We love the drama, we love what we see. But the only issue we have with this show is it happens so quickly, so fast, that it defeats the whole purpose of of of marriage. Okay, it dilutes the, the essence and and the effort that you put into marriage.
Marriage, Love, and Reality TV
Speaker 2I remember for my wife and myself, before we got married, we had to go through multiple counseling sessions. We had to go through counseling from the church. We had to go through uh counseling from our godfathers many times. We had to go visit them so they can just talk some sense into us about what marriage is about. We, I think the church part, and and I'll try my best to bring my my the the pastor who uh handled our counseling is a is a pretty young pastor, pastor search, shout out to you and and he gave us such enriching uh teachings. Okay, this was very practical. There's a manual that we even had to purchase. It was absolutely amazing. They give you the ins and out of marriage.
Speaker 2But it doesn't mean everything will go by the book, and this is what I liked about it. It wasn't just this, this um floral garden, you know this, this canon type of type of place. No, there was this desert in marriage as well. There's bad times in marriage as well, but the good times far outweigh the bad ones, and that's the essence of of all the teaching that we had the role of a woman in a relationship in the marriage, the role of a man in the marriage, the role of god in a marriage. Building your marriage on, on, on god. I think it's in ecclesiast uh correct me if I'm wrong where it said that marriage is is like a like a like a like a two-strand code, and then God is the third strand, and a code of three strands does not break easily. It's something like that. I know I'm paraphrasing, but when you get this type of enriching teachings, it's very, very powerful.
Speaker 2There's a verse that my wife and I had never heard before until that teaching and we've extensively read the bible, we we've gone to church our lives, we went on those sunday school, but we had never come across this verse and it had changed my life. And and the verse goes like I'm paraphrasing again, I think it's whenever you are in disagreement or in argument, or you're pissed at your wife or you guys are not on talking terms in a relationship, even your business do not go well. It affects your business. God cannot bless your businesses if you are not on talking terms with your wife. So whenever there's a breakup between you, whenever there's there's the, you start growing apart in a relationship, something happens to your day-to-day life. God is not gonna bless you if you.
Speaker 2They always say that the the first church for a man is his house, is his family. So how do you want to go about your life if you can't even, uh, sort out your own house at home, like so this is. This is why I always advocate the fact that you should not go to bed angry with your partner. I've always believed in that, but that verse gave me even more ammo to just say, bro, you're going to curse my business. Come and talk to me, let's make love, because you and I being in disagreement right now is not helping anyone, man. Even your business is not going to go forward, because God is not going to put his hands where there's disagreement like this. There needs to reign love here in this house, and when you hear things like this, it enriches you so much that when you go to the altar and you say yes, you really mean this, yes that you're saying Even the day that we got married, the pastor was the Bishop Rambwa and he gave us so many, so many deep um words that really fortified us as a couple and also fortified everyone else in the in the venue that was listening to this, and people came back to me and told me this was very powerful. Even people who are not christians are like no, I've learned a things or two about this bishop and you want to tell me that in this show.
Speaker 2They skip all the and. And you know what's mad about this show? These guys don't even tell their families. Some of them just go to the show and then, two weeks after the, the because, because the whole point of the show is you guys date a few times, uh, in the pods, without seeing each other. And then you propose without seeing each other. You're like, okay, I like your personality, this is the. And then you propose without seeing each other. You're like, okay, I like your personality, this is the person I like. You propose. And once you've proposed, you will see the person the next day. And when you see the person the next day, they become your fiance. You put the ring on their finger, they become your fiance and at that point you guys are engaged. This is like a two-week period, two, okay. And after that you go on honeymoon and you come out. They give you your phones. Now you call your families to tell you guys, I'm engaged.
Speaker 2Bro, for me to even uh start proposing to my, to my um, to my fiance, I had to go see her dad the traditional way. We had a conversation and her dad had the chance to say yes or no, I accept you or I denied you, but he accepted me, thankfully. But in this show you don't even have the choice. Your daughter is coming to you and this is what I was telling my wife. I'm like, you have laws, you have siblings. Okay, I also have a younger sister.
Speaker 2I cannot imagine her one day to call me out of the blue to say I'm engaged, you're engaged who, where, why? And then, on top of that, you tell me in three weeks' time, we're getting married. Nah, you've lost your mind. You have lost your mind. Where are the cameras? Where's the cameras? It's a prank. It's a prank. It's a prank, it's a prank. God damn, yeah, man. So TV has been very good for bonding. We've been watching a lot of shows. Yeah, the guy said no. To give you a bit of closure, he said no at the altar. He said no to her and she cried, but on the same day she kissed him again. It's just long. I wish I can bring a guest. You know someone like Melalini Gates.
Speaker 2Let's talk about this, because on the Tinder swindler she disagreed with me. She really sided with me, man. You know she's like yeah, girls go. No, man, these girls keep getting swindled, bruv, and I know some girls will also do it, man. But I feel like love is not blind. But I would really like to hear someone else's opinion on this and see where we can go with this conversation. Someone who has watched it, preferably even a guy, bro, like I don't mind even a guy, but this is where I'm like which guy watches? Love is blind without his missus, because if it wasn't for my wife, I would not even look at this, this, this show, because I see other shows on on thing, on on on netflix. The perfect match. I don't even want to open it, okay, and I know my missus has watched them, but I don't want, I'm not interested. But now imagine a man who's single. So that's why I'm even thinking of female guests. But if, if you're a guy and you've watched this thing and you have an opinion, please, what's up me? Let's talk about this.
Speaker 2I want to hear from someone else, bro, especially someone who disagrees with what I've just said in in this, in this hour. Bro, it's crazy, man, how do you marry within a month of not even seeing that person before not meeting them? You don't know anything them. You don't know anything about them. You don't know anything about their family, you don't know anything about their blood group. You don't know anything about if they are sick. You don't know anything about their past in general, you don't know anything about them. Okay, this is how you get people who come and start saying the same thing to two different girls because he's a psychopath. Tv is interesting, man. It shows how how far um tv has moved. But yeah, man, um, I usually start with mental health, but I'll give. I wanted to go through with the episode and then give like a general mental.
Speaker 2I think mental health is pretty high right now. Can't really put a number, but probably like high eights, high sevens, okay, yay, pretty close to 10. Reason being is I think this life together is coming is coming together. Well, okay, I've always said that the controversy of me loving to podcast because to podcast you have to leave and this is the conversation I've had with a friend of mine where I was like two years away from podcasting is not such a bad thing because you've had time to grow, you've had time to experience. Okay, I got married.
Speaker 2Do you know what there's so much to talk about? There is so much to talk about organization, inviting people, people thinking they invited people, getting mad at you because you know that you haven't invited them. People just giving you problems for nothing, booking venues, having to pay financial struggles uh, there's a lot to talk about, bro, so so so, moving away, stepping back from podcasting, is not necessarily a bad thing, because you come back a bit more charged. You come back a bit more. You know what? Yes, I've got this ammo now. You know, I've got this knowledge, I've got this information, I've got this experience. Now, the get equipped podcast. I've got this knowledge, I've got this information, I've got this experience. Now, the Get Equipped Podcast.
Speaker 2But anyway. So, as I said, I'll try to release episodes once every two weeks at first, probably once every week. Man, it's going to be a bit sporadic at first, but trust me, I'm back. I'm trying to put a team together, I'm trying to put a few more contents together, but 2024, trust me, I'm back strong. I've had time to grow, to just think about what I want to do when it comes to podcasting. It's never been a doubt. It's never been a thing of retiring completely. Okay. So the passion is still there, the time is there now and I think the growth is also here.
Speaker 2Um, I just want to wish you guys a very, very, very good week. Uh, the weekend is coming up. I'm recording on thursday the third, the 11th of april, so I hope you guys have a good weekend. It's probably going to drop. I think this episode drops early in the week, so as soon as it drops, you guys will get the episode and then you'll get to listen to what I have to say. So for the rest of the week, I bless you guys. I bless your week. I hope you have a good week. I hope you have a good interaction with people. As I always say, guys, be a blessing to everyone you come across and everyone that comes across you Be a blessing to you as well. Don't forget to like, don't forget to subscribe, spread love and kindness wherever you go, and God bless you you are listening to the get equipped podcast with your host, doxelle king.
