{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":9.99,"endTime":11.52,"body":"Hello, you're lovely"},{"startTime":11.55,"endTime":15.15,"body":"humans. Welcome to the live"},{"startTime":11.55,"endTime":15.15,"body":"outrageously with Lady gray"},{"startTime":15.15,"endTime":20.76,"body":"Podcast. I am your hostess, Lady"},{"startTime":15.15,"endTime":20.76,"body":"gray. And we're here to talk"},{"startTime":20.79,"endTime":24.78,"body":"about living outside the box,"},{"startTime":20.79,"endTime":24.78,"body":"breaking down barriers, thinking"},{"startTime":24.78,"endTime":29.82,"body":"differently and making a bigger"},{"startTime":24.78,"endTime":29.82,"body":"impact on the world. If you"},{"startTime":29.82,"endTime":33.12,"body":"would like to be part of a group"},{"startTime":29.82,"endTime":33.12,"body":"of other outrageous human"},{"startTime":33.12,"endTime":36.93,"body":"beings, please feel free to join"},{"startTime":33.12,"endTime":36.93,"body":"the League of outrageous women"},{"startTime":37.02,"endTime":41.7,"body":"on Facebook, a group of over 500"},{"startTime":37.02,"endTime":41.7,"body":"women from all around the world,"},{"startTime":42.3,"endTime":45.96,"body":"or find us on clubhouse every"},{"startTime":42.3,"endTime":45.96,"body":"Thursday for coffee talk, and"},{"startTime":45.96,"endTime":50.04,"body":"every Sunday for Girl Talk with"},{"startTime":45.96,"endTime":50.04,"body":"Lady gray. I would really love"},{"startTime":50.04,"endTime":53.1,"body":"to connect with you and get to"},{"startTime":50.04,"endTime":53.1,"body":"know you better. So I hope that"},{"startTime":53.1,"endTime":53.94,"body":"you'll join us."},{"startTime":58.92,"endTime":64.65,"body":"Well, welcome back to season two"},{"startTime":58.92,"endTime":64.65,"body":"of live outrageously."},{"startTime":64.98,"endTime":68.4,"body":"I'm so glad that you're here."},{"startTime":64.98,"endTime":68.4,"body":"And I thought I would just take"},{"startTime":68.4,"endTime":71.46,"body":"a quick second. And thank"},{"startTime":68.4,"endTime":71.46,"body":"everybody for all of the"},{"startTime":71.46,"endTime":77.16,"body":"feedback after our first season,"},{"startTime":71.46,"endTime":77.16,"body":"you asked for more solo shows."},{"startTime":77.19,"endTime":82.95,"body":"And so this season will be more"},{"startTime":77.19,"endTime":82.95,"body":"of a mix of solo episodes, and"},{"startTime":83.01,"endTime":87.9,"body":"interview shows with guests, I"},{"startTime":83.01,"endTime":87.9,"body":"want to really laser focus on"},{"startTime":87.9,"endTime":94.53,"body":"helping you become a world"},{"startTime":87.9,"endTime":94.53,"body":"changer. So I have a great show"},{"startTime":94.53,"endTime":99.15,"body":"for you. Today we are talking"},{"startTime":94.53,"endTime":99.15,"body":"about the myth of toxic"},{"startTime":99.15,"endTime":103.86,"body":"selflessness and people"},{"startTime":99.15,"endTime":103.86,"body":"pleasing. One thing that I see a"},{"startTime":103.86,"endTime":107.82,"body":"lot of time and time again is"},{"startTime":103.86,"endTime":107.82,"body":"toxic selflessness when we put"},{"startTime":107.82,"endTime":111.33,"body":"other people's needs before our"},{"startTime":107.82,"endTime":111.33,"body":"own without getting anything in"},{"startTime":111.33,"endTime":114.39,"body":"return from it. And it's not"},{"startTime":111.33,"endTime":114.39,"body":"just harmful for us, but also"},{"startTime":114.39,"endTime":117.96,"body":"for the people around us that"},{"startTime":114.39,"endTime":117.96,"body":"are taking advantage of our good"},{"startTime":117.96,"endTime":121.98,"body":"nature. Later on in the program,"},{"startTime":117.96,"endTime":121.98,"body":"we will take a little brain"},{"startTime":121.98,"endTime":125.64,"body":"break. And I'll share some of my"},{"startTime":121.98,"endTime":125.64,"body":"favorite things with you,"},{"startTime":126.09,"endTime":129.24,"body":"including some of the"},{"startTime":126.09,"endTime":129.24,"body":"spectacular events that are"},{"startTime":129.24,"endTime":133.2,"body":"happening as Broadway opens back"},{"startTime":129.24,"endTime":133.2,"body":"up. And I hope you'll stick"},{"startTime":133.2,"endTime":136.23,"body":"around because later on in the"},{"startTime":133.2,"endTime":136.23,"body":"program, I'm going to share with"},{"startTime":136.23,"endTime":141.93,"body":"you five tips for shaking up the"},{"startTime":136.23,"endTime":141.93,"body":"status quo and having a more"},{"startTime":141.96,"endTime":145.41,"body":"fulfilling life. So stick around"},{"startTime":141.96,"endTime":145.41,"body":"to the end of the program for"},{"startTime":145.41,"endTime":149.01,"body":"that. And I think we'll close"},{"startTime":145.41,"endTime":149.01,"body":"today out with a little dance"},{"startTime":149.01,"endTime":155.25,"body":"party. Today we're talking about"},{"startTime":149.01,"endTime":155.25,"body":"people pleasing and toxic"},{"startTime":155.25,"endTime":159.99,"body":"selflessness. A recent study"},{"startTime":155.25,"endTime":159.99,"body":"found that over giving is"},{"startTime":159.99,"endTime":163.95,"body":"becoming more common, people are"},{"startTime":159.99,"endTime":163.95,"body":"taking on way too much"},{"startTime":163.95,"endTime":166.89,"body":"responsibility. And they're"},{"startTime":163.95,"endTime":166.89,"body":"finding that they're not able to"},{"startTime":166.89,"endTime":170.07,"body":"say no when they need to because"},{"startTime":166.89,"endTime":170.07,"body":"of the guilt associated with it."},{"startTime":170.76,"endTime":174.9,"body":"This can lead to toxic"},{"startTime":170.76,"endTime":174.9,"body":"selflessness and people pleasing"},{"startTime":174.9,"endTime":179.55,"body":"behaviors, which can be harmful"},{"startTime":174.9,"endTime":179.55,"body":"in the long run. selflessness"},{"startTime":179.79,"endTime":185.85,"body":"and self sacrifice has been made"},{"startTime":179.79,"endTime":185.85,"body":"overly noble in our society. So"},{"startTime":185.85,"endTime":189.96,"body":"much so that people often"},{"startTime":185.85,"endTime":189.96,"body":"consider it their highest goal."},{"startTime":190.2,"endTime":193.05,"body":"And they end up completely"},{"startTime":190.2,"endTime":193.05,"body":"losing sight of their life"},{"startTime":193.05,"endTime":196.41,"body":"purpose, and even their destiny"},{"startTime":193.05,"endTime":196.41,"body":"when caring for other people."},{"startTime":196.53,"endTime":200.67,"body":"Please don't misunderstand"},{"startTime":196.53,"endTime":200.67,"body":"service and giving to other"},{"startTime":200.67,"endTime":204.9,"body":"people at its root is a"},{"startTime":200.67,"endTime":204.9,"body":"beautiful thing. And it's"},{"startTime":204.9,"endTime":210.45,"body":"important. I shaped my entire"},{"startTime":204.9,"endTime":210.45,"body":"life around helping other people"},{"startTime":210.78,"endTime":215.52,"body":"and have been at the helm of"},{"startTime":210.78,"endTime":215.52,"body":"many, many organizations that"},{"startTime":215.55,"endTime":220.38,"body":"ministered to people and helped"},{"startTime":215.55,"endTime":220.38,"body":"the poor and reached out to"},{"startTime":220.65,"endTime":224.88,"body":"single moms and the elderly and"},{"startTime":220.65,"endTime":224.88,"body":"prison ministries and all kinds"},{"startTime":224.88,"endTime":229.98,"body":"of different projects. So at its"},{"startTime":224.88,"endTime":229.98,"body":"root again, giving and kindness"},{"startTime":229.98,"endTime":236.31,"body":"and charity and goodness are all"},{"startTime":229.98,"endTime":236.31,"body":"healthy behaviors. It's when"},{"startTime":236.34,"endTime":241.65,"body":"they take a turn and become"},{"startTime":236.34,"endTime":241.65,"body":"unhealthy because they have a"},{"startTime":241.65,"endTime":246.42,"body":"codependent nature that we have"},{"startTime":241.65,"endTime":246.42,"body":"to start looking at whether or"},{"startTime":246.42,"endTime":251.46,"body":"not they've become toxic. And"},{"startTime":246.42,"endTime":251.46,"body":"today we're taking a honest look"},{"startTime":251.55,"endTime":255.63,"body":"at our lives, and how we've"},{"startTime":251.55,"endTime":255.63,"body":"interacted with society and the"},{"startTime":255.63,"endTime":259.32,"body":"other people around us, and how"},{"startTime":255.63,"endTime":259.32,"body":"that has shaped our own"},{"startTime":259.32,"endTime":262.56,"body":"relationship to selflessness."},{"startTime":264.18,"endTime":266.91,"body":"So I'm here to say that it's"},{"startTime":264.18,"endTime":266.91,"body":"time that we all wake up from"},{"startTime":266.91,"endTime":270.48,"body":"the great self sacrifice"},{"startTime":266.91,"endTime":270.48,"body":"deception. We have been taught"},{"startTime":270.48,"endTime":274.71,"body":"that self sacrifice is basically"},{"startTime":270.48,"endTime":274.71,"body":"the opposite of selfishness. And"},{"startTime":274.71,"endTime":278.94,"body":"in fact, it's touted as this"},{"startTime":274.71,"endTime":278.94,"body":"virtue. So I want you to think"},{"startTime":278.94,"endTime":285.03,"body":"about the mama who has given up"},{"startTime":278.94,"endTime":285.03,"body":"her dreams to care for her kids"},{"startTime":285.27,"endTime":289.92,"body":"and make room for her husband's"},{"startTime":285.27,"endTime":289.92,"body":"career. Or your business"},{"startTime":289.92,"endTime":293.61,"body":"colleague who doesn't know how"},{"startTime":289.92,"endTime":293.61,"body":"to say no to their boss and"},{"startTime":293.61,"endTime":298.05,"body":"works countless hours and is"},{"startTime":293.61,"endTime":298.05,"body":"burning the candle at both ends,"},{"startTime":298.68,"endTime":303.51,"body":"or the overextend. volunteers at"},{"startTime":298.68,"endTime":303.51,"body":"any religious or educational"},{"startTime":303.51,"endTime":309.66,"body":"organization you can think of 1%"},{"startTime":303.51,"endTime":309.66,"body":"of the group does 99% of the"},{"startTime":309.66,"endTime":313.8,"body":"work. Or maybe this one sounds"},{"startTime":309.66,"endTime":313.8,"body":"familiar to you. So a friend"},{"startTime":313.8,"endTime":317.58,"body":"pings you because they need"},{"startTime":313.8,"endTime":317.58,"body":"help. And you say to yourself,"},{"startTime":317.7,"endTime":320.79,"body":"okay, this is the last time and"},{"startTime":317.7,"endTime":320.79,"body":"then they're going to have to"},{"startTime":320.79,"endTime":324.18,"body":"figure something else out. So"},{"startTime":320.79,"endTime":324.18,"body":"all of this sounds very familiar"},{"startTime":324.18,"endTime":330.45,"body":"probably. Why? Why is there this"},{"startTime":324.18,"endTime":330.45,"body":"ridiculous fear among us that if"},{"startTime":330.45,"endTime":335.58,"body":"we speak up, or we don't serve,"},{"startTime":330.45,"endTime":335.58,"body":"that we won't be liked, or"},{"startTime":335.58,"endTime":340.2,"body":"approved of or accepted? And why"},{"startTime":335.58,"endTime":340.2,"body":"is this idea that if we give"},{"startTime":340.2,"endTime":344.52,"body":"more of ourselves in humility,"},{"startTime":340.2,"endTime":344.52,"body":"and self sacrifice will be seen"},{"startTime":344.61,"endTime":349.5,"body":"as, quote better? And why do we"},{"startTime":344.61,"endTime":349.5,"body":"find ourselves so afraid of"},{"startTime":350.04,"endTime":354.57,"body":"inconveniencing somebody with"},{"startTime":350.04,"endTime":354.57,"body":"our desires, but we have no"},{"startTime":354.57,"endTime":357.36,"body":"problem, inconveniencing"},{"startTime":354.57,"endTime":357.36,"body":"ourselves and sacrificing our"},{"startTime":357.36,"endTime":363.06,"body":"own needs. So what truly is"},{"startTime":357.36,"endTime":363.06,"body":"people pleasing? This sort of"},{"startTime":363.09,"endTime":368.55,"body":"disease to please and the myth"},{"startTime":363.09,"endTime":368.55,"body":"of toxic selflessness started,"},{"startTime":368.85,"endTime":372.15,"body":"probably in childhood with you"},{"startTime":368.85,"endTime":372.15,"body":"wanting and needing to please,"},{"startTime":372.48,"endTime":376.47,"body":"your parents, your teachers,"},{"startTime":372.48,"endTime":376.47,"body":"your dentist, the cool kids on"},{"startTime":376.47,"endTime":380.58,"body":"the playground. And from a young"},{"startTime":376.47,"endTime":380.58,"body":"age we learn that pleasing other"},{"startTime":380.58,"endTime":384.15,"body":"people is a good thing."},{"startTime":380.58,"endTime":384.15,"body":"teenagers who act rebelliously"},{"startTime":384.15,"endTime":388.41,"body":"get social rejection adults, oh"},{"startTime":384.15,"endTime":388.41,"body":"my gosh, we smile at everybody."},{"startTime":388.59,"endTime":393.15,"body":"We answer every email, we return"},{"startTime":388.59,"endTime":393.15,"body":"every phone call, we go to every"},{"startTime":393.15,"endTime":396.72,"body":"work related meeting, and we"},{"startTime":393.15,"endTime":396.72,"body":"prioritize other people's needs"},{"startTime":396.72,"endTime":402.75,"body":"before our own. And slowly over"},{"startTime":396.72,"endTime":402.75,"body":"time, it turns into this disease"},{"startTime":402.87,"endTime":407.91,"body":"to please just about everyone in"},{"startTime":402.87,"endTime":407.91,"body":"your universe, whether that's"},{"startTime":407.91,"endTime":412.95,"body":"your partner, or your kids, or"},{"startTime":407.91,"endTime":412.95,"body":"your demanding boss, your self"},{"startTime":412.95,"endTime":417.9,"body":"righteous relatives, codependent"},{"startTime":412.95,"endTime":417.9,"body":"friends, the church, ladies, the"},{"startTime":417.9,"endTime":421.23,"body":"town gossip, doesn't matter who"},{"startTime":417.9,"endTime":421.23,"body":"the list is long and"},{"startTime":421.23,"endTime":426.48,"body":"distinguished. And this tendency"},{"startTime":421.23,"endTime":426.48,"body":"to constantly prioritize other"},{"startTime":426.48,"endTime":432.15,"body":"people's needs, leads to toxic"},{"startTime":426.48,"endTime":432.15,"body":"behavior. So rather than having"},{"startTime":432.15,"endTime":436.44,"body":"time to check in on ourselves,"},{"startTime":432.15,"endTime":436.44,"body":"we are always responding to"},{"startTime":436.44,"endTime":439.35,"body":"other people's needs. And"},{"startTime":436.44,"endTime":439.35,"body":"perhaps a little bit of that is"},{"startTime":439.35,"endTime":443.61,"body":"forgivable, right? But when we"},{"startTime":439.35,"endTime":443.61,"body":"become so focused on other"},{"startTime":443.61,"endTime":447.09,"body":"people that we neglect our own"},{"startTime":443.61,"endTime":447.09,"body":"needs, we become burnout, and"},{"startTime":447.09,"endTime":451.83,"body":"then we're resentful, and"},{"startTime":447.09,"endTime":451.83,"body":"unhappy and often depressed. So"},{"startTime":451.83,"endTime":456.45,"body":"before you sort of dismiss this"},{"startTime":451.83,"endTime":456.45,"body":"entire idea, with a, oh, people"},{"startTime":456.45,"endTime":459.9,"body":"pleasing couldn't possibly apply"},{"startTime":456.45,"endTime":459.9,"body":"to me, I'm healthy and"},{"startTime":459.9,"endTime":464.13,"body":"confident, and my motivation is"},{"startTime":459.9,"endTime":464.13,"body":"good and pure. Let's talk about"},{"startTime":464.13,"endTime":468.03,"body":"what it really means to be"},{"startTime":464.13,"endTime":468.03,"body":"humble, versus being secretly"},{"startTime":468.03,"endTime":473.67,"body":"self obsessed, right? We live in"},{"startTime":468.03,"endTime":473.67,"body":"a world where we attach our"},{"startTime":473.67,"endTime":478.77,"body":"identity to what we do, and how"},{"startTime":473.67,"endTime":478.77,"body":"many likes we get for it. So to"},{"startTime":478.77,"endTime":485.04,"body":"be dependent, on other people's"},{"startTime":478.77,"endTime":485.04,"body":"approval, is to be ego driven,"},{"startTime":485.4,"endTime":490.08,"body":"not selfless. And whether you"},{"startTime":485.4,"endTime":490.08,"body":"realize it or not, your attempts"},{"startTime":490.11,"endTime":493.83,"body":"to do more and be more and give"},{"startTime":490.11,"endTime":493.83,"body":"more and teach more and work"},{"startTime":493.83,"endTime":499.98,"body":"more in love more. Those can all"},{"startTime":493.83,"endTime":499.98,"body":"become subconscious attempts to"},{"startTime":499.98,"endTime":504.93,"body":"manipulate people into liking"},{"startTime":499.98,"endTime":504.93,"body":"you more. And all of that is"},{"startTime":504.93,"endTime":509.43,"body":"driven by fear, probably through"},{"startTime":504.93,"endTime":509.43,"body":"some little voice inside your"},{"startTime":509.43,"endTime":514.02,"body":"head that convinces you that"},{"startTime":509.43,"endTime":514.02,"body":"it's a good idea to make another"},{"startTime":514.02,"endTime":519.6,"body":"human or a group of people. Your"},{"startTime":514.02,"endTime":519.6,"body":"ultimate approval or disapproval"},{"startTime":519.6,"endTime":521.7,"body":"machine, your God your source."},{"startTime":525.24,"endTime":530.07,"body":"So you know what that is, that"},{"startTime":525.24,"endTime":530.07,"body":"is the sound of our brain break."},{"startTime":530.19,"endTime":534.15,"body":"We were getting a little heavy"},{"startTime":530.19,"endTime":534.15,"body":"there. While we are changing the"},{"startTime":534.15,"endTime":537.6,"body":"world and living more"},{"startTime":534.15,"endTime":537.6,"body":"outrageously, we really need to"},{"startTime":537.6,"endTime":542.67,"body":"have fun doing it. So today I am"},{"startTime":537.6,"endTime":542.67,"body":"going to tell you about my"},{"startTime":542.67,"endTime":545.73,"body":"favorite shows on the New York"},{"startTime":542.67,"endTime":545.73,"body":"theater scene that I've recently"},{"startTime":545.73,"endTime":551.22,"body":"seen. I cannot cannot express"},{"startTime":545.73,"endTime":551.22,"body":"enough how much I love the"},{"startTime":551.22,"endTime":555.24,"body":"musical six. I highly encourage"},{"startTime":551.22,"endTime":555.24,"body":"you to see if we can get"},{"startTime":555.24,"endTime":559.92,"body":"tickets. The other one that I"},{"startTime":555.24,"endTime":559.92,"body":"highly recommend is Hades town,"},{"startTime":560.01,"endTime":564.48,"body":"probably the best show that I"},{"startTime":560.01,"endTime":564.48,"body":"have seen in many, many moons"},{"startTime":564.66,"endTime":569.82,"body":"and it is well worth going to"},{"startTime":564.66,"endTime":569.82,"body":"see the original cast. My"},{"startTime":569.82,"endTime":574.62,"body":"personal favorite is Patrick"},{"startTime":569.82,"endTime":574.62,"body":"Paige who played Hades and he is"},{"startTime":574.62,"endTime":578.34,"body":"currently not performing with"},{"startTime":574.62,"endTime":578.34,"body":"them but we'll be back in"},{"startTime":578.34,"endTime":582.78,"body":"November. And last but certainly"},{"startTime":578.34,"endTime":582.78,"body":"not least, I also want to"},{"startTime":582.78,"endTime":589.17,"body":"recommend the sexy and very,"},{"startTime":582.78,"endTime":589.17,"body":"very fun company 14. They are"},{"startTime":589.29,"endTime":593.67,"body":"going to be putting on their"},{"startTime":589.29,"endTime":593.67,"body":"Nutcracker rouge soon. And it is"},{"startTime":593.88,"endTime":598.83,"body":"definitely an event you do not"},{"startTime":593.88,"endTime":598.83,"body":"want to miss. So you have a few"},{"startTime":598.83,"endTime":604.29,"body":"ideas for where That you can"},{"startTime":598.83,"endTime":604.29,"body":"maybe celebrate the holidays in"},{"startTime":604.29,"endTime":608.13,"body":"New York. And this is no"},{"startTime":604.29,"endTime":608.13,"body":"endorsement other than just a"},{"startTime":608.13,"endTime":612.12,"body":"personal one because I"},{"startTime":608.13,"endTime":612.12,"body":"absolutely love theater and want"},{"startTime":612.12,"endTime":616.65,"body":"to share that gift with you. And"},{"startTime":612.12,"endTime":616.65,"body":"speaking of travel and fabulous"},{"startTime":616.65,"endTime":620.97,"body":"places, here is a little bit"},{"startTime":616.65,"endTime":620.97,"body":"about one of my favorite places"},{"startTime":620.97,"endTime":624.99,"body":"on earth. Imagine breathing in"},{"startTime":620.97,"endTime":624.99,"body":"the romance of the city of"},{"startTime":624.99,"endTime":628.68,"body":"lights with a small group of"},{"startTime":624.99,"endTime":628.68,"body":"fellow goddesses on the same"},{"startTime":628.68,"endTime":632.76,"body":"journey of feminine exploration,"},{"startTime":628.68,"endTime":632.76,"body":"and embracing who you are as"},{"startTime":632.76,"endTime":638.01,"body":"outrageous women. Join me in the"},{"startTime":632.76,"endTime":638.01,"body":"City of Light for lady Gray's"},{"startTime":638.07,"endTime":642.24,"body":"outrageous Paris retreat. For"},{"startTime":638.07,"endTime":642.24,"body":"more information, please visit"},{"startTime":642.51,"endTime":650.37,"body":"Paris dot live outrageously.com."},{"startTime":642.51,"endTime":650.37,"body":"So now let's get back to talking"},{"startTime":650.37,"endTime":654.45,"body":"about people pleasing. And"},{"startTime":650.37,"endTime":654.45,"body":"remember to stick around for my"},{"startTime":654.45,"endTime":658.68,"body":"five tips about how to shake up"},{"startTime":654.45,"endTime":658.68,"body":"the status quo. people pleasers"},{"startTime":658.89,"endTime":663.12,"body":"are often people pleasers,"},{"startTime":658.89,"endTime":663.12,"body":"because they don't think that"},{"startTime":663.12,"endTime":667.53,"body":"they're worthy. And one of the"},{"startTime":663.12,"endTime":667.53,"body":"most painful things I've heard"},{"startTime":667.53,"endTime":670.41,"body":"from people pleasers that I work"},{"startTime":667.53,"endTime":670.41,"body":"with is they'll say things like"},{"startTime":670.44,"endTime":673.86,"body":"I don't even know what I want."},{"startTime":670.44,"endTime":673.86,"body":"Or what if I actually find out"},{"startTime":673.86,"endTime":677.04,"body":"that my dreams aren't"},{"startTime":673.86,"endTime":677.04,"body":"attainable. And the truth is"},{"startTime":677.07,"endTime":681.3,"body":"only you know what's best for"},{"startTime":677.07,"endTime":681.3,"body":"you. But no one will ever see"},{"startTime":681.63,"endTime":684.96,"body":"your truest potential. If you're"},{"startTime":681.63,"endTime":684.96,"body":"always putting other people"},{"startTime":684.96,"endTime":687.18,"body":"first. Life is tough."},{"startTime":688.5,"endTime":693.42,"body":"We all have big ideas for"},{"startTime":688.5,"endTime":693.42,"body":"ourselves, for our families, and"},{"startTime":693.42,"endTime":699.0,"body":"our businesses. But far too"},{"startTime":693.42,"endTime":699.0,"body":"often, they just get put aside"},{"startTime":699.03,"endTime":703.32,"body":"so we can get other people's"},{"startTime":699.03,"endTime":703.32,"body":"stuff done. Instead, it's a"},{"startTime":703.32,"endTime":707.07,"body":"tricky situation. You want to"},{"startTime":703.32,"endTime":707.07,"body":"help the people in your life and"},{"startTime":707.07,"endTime":711.27,"body":"you certainly want them to like"},{"startTime":707.07,"endTime":711.27,"body":"you. But when you're trying to"},{"startTime":711.27,"endTime":714.63,"body":"serve people too much, you end"},{"startTime":711.27,"endTime":714.63,"body":"up giving your life away. And"},{"startTime":714.63,"endTime":718.5,"body":"when we always prioritize"},{"startTime":714.63,"endTime":718.5,"body":"people's expectations, at the"},{"startTime":718.5,"endTime":724.14,"body":"expense of our own needs, we"},{"startTime":718.5,"endTime":724.14,"body":"sacrifice our vitality, and we"},{"startTime":724.14,"endTime":729.06,"body":"reduce the quality of our lives."},{"startTime":724.14,"endTime":729.06,"body":"If you truly want to make your"},{"startTime":729.06,"endTime":734.07,"body":"world better, you start by"},{"startTime":729.06,"endTime":734.07,"body":"taking care of yourself. Now"},{"startTime":734.07,"endTime":739.14,"body":"more than ever, self care, which"},{"startTime":734.07,"endTime":739.14,"body":"is front of mind for everyone,"},{"startTime":739.14,"endTime":743.46,"body":"because of the pandemic is"},{"startTime":739.14,"endTime":743.46,"body":"important to our emotional well"},{"startTime":743.46,"endTime":748.17,"body":"being, being kind to yourself,"},{"startTime":743.46,"endTime":748.17,"body":"maybe the only way to prevent"},{"startTime":748.17,"endTime":751.8,"body":"burnout or depression because no"},{"startTime":748.17,"endTime":751.8,"body":"one can make you happy if you"},{"startTime":751.8,"endTime":756.63,"body":"don't make yourself happy. So"},{"startTime":751.8,"endTime":756.63,"body":"I'm not asking you to give up"},{"startTime":756.63,"endTime":759.93,"body":"doing things for other people,"},{"startTime":756.63,"endTime":759.93,"body":"right, especially if that makes"},{"startTime":759.93,"endTime":764.13,"body":"you happy, go for it. I'm just"},{"startTime":759.93,"endTime":764.13,"body":"saying every once in a while,"},{"startTime":764.46,"endTime":768.45,"body":"slow down and choose yourself."},{"startTime":764.46,"endTime":768.45,"body":"For many of the women that I"},{"startTime":768.45,"endTime":773.37,"body":"coach who are more likely to be"},{"startTime":768.45,"endTime":773.37,"body":"in professions that require more"},{"startTime":773.37,"endTime":778.14,"body":"giving than taking service has"},{"startTime":773.37,"endTime":778.14,"body":"become toxic for a lot of them,"},{"startTime":778.5,"endTime":783.18,"body":"giving too much and devoting too"},{"startTime":778.5,"endTime":783.18,"body":"much energy, whether that's to"},{"startTime":783.18,"endTime":787.11,"body":"your career or your partner's,"},{"startTime":783.18,"endTime":787.11,"body":"your social network, your"},{"startTime":787.11,"endTime":791.7,"body":"hobbies, your causes, causes"},{"startTime":787.11,"endTime":791.7,"body":"that may not even be your own."},{"startTime":792.54,"endTime":797.04,"body":"It's a fast track to burnout."},{"startTime":792.54,"endTime":797.04,"body":"And listen, you've been doing"},{"startTime":797.04,"endTime":800.52,"body":"more than your fair share of the"},{"startTime":797.04,"endTime":800.52,"body":"work you've been trying to make"},{"startTime":800.52,"endTime":803.88,"body":"sure everybody's taken care of."},{"startTime":800.52,"endTime":803.88,"body":"But you've got to start looking"},{"startTime":803.88,"endTime":807.24,"body":"out for yourself. So start by,"},{"startTime":803.88,"endTime":807.24,"body":"you know, learning how to set"},{"startTime":807.24,"endTime":810.72,"body":"boundaries for what you will and"},{"startTime":807.24,"endTime":810.72,"body":"won't do. Even if you feel you"},{"startTime":810.72,"endTime":816.24,"body":"know, mean, well. People think"},{"startTime":810.72,"endTime":816.24,"body":"that being nice is the way to"},{"startTime":816.24,"endTime":819.27,"body":"everyone's heart. But it's"},{"startTime":816.24,"endTime":819.27,"body":"actually kind of harmful. It"},{"startTime":819.27,"endTime":823.47,"body":"puts you in this position of not"},{"startTime":819.27,"endTime":823.47,"body":"saying what you really want to"},{"startTime":823.47,"endTime":827.07,"body":"say and it makes you seem like"},{"startTime":823.47,"endTime":827.07,"body":"you don't have boundaries and"},{"startTime":827.07,"endTime":830.58,"body":"forces you to make everyone"},{"startTime":827.07,"endTime":830.58,"body":"happy except yourself. start"},{"startTime":830.58,"endTime":834.54,"body":"saying no to people. That seems"},{"startTime":830.58,"endTime":834.54,"body":"pretty basic. It's not easy to"},{"startTime":834.54,"endTime":839.37,"body":"do. So I suggest having"},{"startTime":834.54,"endTime":839.37,"body":"alternatives in place before you"},{"startTime":839.37,"endTime":843.18,"body":"say no. And remember that you're"},{"startTime":839.37,"endTime":843.18,"body":"not being selfish by saying no."},{"startTime":844.35,"endTime":847.98,"body":"Stop always putting other people"},{"startTime":844.35,"endTime":847.98,"body":"before yourself, secure your"},{"startTime":847.98,"endTime":853.23,"body":"oxygen mask first. The other key"},{"startTime":847.98,"endTime":853.23,"body":"takeaway here is to do what you"},{"startTime":853.23,"endTime":857.91,"body":"enjoy. Right? We've been"},{"startTime":853.23,"endTime":857.91,"body":"conditioned to think that we"},{"startTime":857.91,"endTime":860.49,"body":"have to put other people before"},{"startTime":857.91,"endTime":860.49,"body":"ourselves in order to be"},{"startTime":860.49,"endTime":864.09,"body":"successful. But what if you took"},{"startTime":860.49,"endTime":864.09,"body":"the opposite approach? What if"},{"startTime":864.09,"endTime":867.87,"body":"you gave yourself permission to"},{"startTime":864.09,"endTime":867.87,"body":"make self care your top"},{"startTime":867.87,"endTime":873.42,"body":"priority? You know what if you"},{"startTime":867.87,"endTime":873.42,"body":"chose to pursue whatever made"},{"startTime":873.42,"endTime":878.25,"body":"you happy and relentlessly"},{"startTime":873.42,"endTime":878.25,"body":"without apologizing for it. You"},{"startTime":878.25,"endTime":882.09,"body":"know, making yourself a priority"},{"startTime":878.25,"endTime":882.09,"body":"can be tough, but giving"},{"startTime":882.09,"endTime":886.77,"body":"yourself permission to do what"},{"startTime":882.09,"endTime":886.77,"body":"you love is tough too. I think"},{"startTime":886.77,"endTime":891.6,"body":"most people are worried about"},{"startTime":886.77,"endTime":891.6,"body":"what other people will think of"},{"startTime":891.6,"endTime":896.55,"body":"them if they pursue something"},{"startTime":891.6,"endTime":896.55,"body":"that isn't expected of them. I'm"},{"startTime":896.55,"endTime":900.09,"body":"not saying this is the right"},{"startTime":896.55,"endTime":900.09,"body":"decision for everybody but by By"},{"startTime":900.09,"endTime":905.55,"body":"being your own number one fan,"},{"startTime":900.09,"endTime":905.55,"body":"you can find happiness within"},{"startTime":905.64,"endTime":910.98,"body":"yourself. When we serve others,"},{"startTime":905.64,"endTime":910.98,"body":"at the expense of our own"},{"startTime":910.98,"endTime":916.17,"body":"identity and our wellness, we"},{"startTime":910.98,"endTime":916.17,"body":"are serving our ego. When we"},{"startTime":916.17,"endTime":919.68,"body":"serve our ego, we're serving our"},{"startTime":916.17,"endTime":919.68,"body":"shadow. And when we serve our"},{"startTime":919.68,"endTime":925.05,"body":"shadow, we quickly turned toxic,"},{"startTime":919.68,"endTime":925.05,"body":"and we buy into the deception of"},{"startTime":925.05,"endTime":929.64,"body":"self sacrifice, being the most"},{"startTime":925.05,"endTime":929.64,"body":"noble of virtues at the expense"},{"startTime":929.64,"endTime":935.16,"body":"of anything and everything else."},{"startTime":929.64,"endTime":935.16,"body":"being kind to others is not"},{"startTime":935.16,"endTime":938.91,"body":"something that should be done"},{"startTime":935.16,"endTime":938.91,"body":"only occasionally, right? We"},{"startTime":938.91,"endTime":943.47,"body":"should have kindness in our"},{"startTime":938.91,"endTime":943.47,"body":"hearts for everyone. However,"},{"startTime":943.5,"endTime":949.29,"body":"that doesn't mean you should"},{"startTime":943.5,"endTime":949.29,"body":"abandon yourself. You're here,"},{"startTime":949.44,"endTime":954.45,"body":"because you want to change the"},{"startTime":949.44,"endTime":954.45,"body":"world. You're here. Because deep"},{"startTime":954.45,"endTime":959.61,"body":"in your heart, you know that you"},{"startTime":954.45,"endTime":959.61,"body":"can reclaim your energy. Reclaim"},{"startTime":959.61,"endTime":966.12,"body":"Your power, realize your dreams"},{"startTime":959.61,"endTime":966.12,"body":"and step into your greatness."},{"startTime":966.57,"endTime":970.68,"body":"Serving generously. And"},{"startTime":966.57,"endTime":970.68,"body":"exercising kindness should not"},{"startTime":970.86,"endTime":979.14,"body":"require forgetting who you are,"},{"startTime":970.86,"endTime":979.14,"body":"and what makes you happy. So"},{"startTime":979.17,"endTime":980.64,"body":"each week, I like to leave"},{"startTime":980.64,"endTime":984.42,"body":"you with some tips, some"},{"startTime":980.64,"endTime":984.42,"body":"practical things that you can"},{"startTime":984.42,"endTime":988.44,"body":"put into action in your own"},{"startTime":984.42,"endTime":988.44,"body":"life, to really begin to live"},{"startTime":988.44,"endTime":991.71,"body":"more outrageously. So today,"},{"startTime":988.44,"endTime":991.71,"body":"we're going to talk about five"},{"startTime":991.71,"endTime":995.28,"body":"things that you can do to"},{"startTime":991.71,"endTime":995.28,"body":"challenge the status quo, and"},{"startTime":995.28,"endTime":1000.5,"body":"live a more fulfilled life. The"},{"startTime":995.28,"endTime":1000.5,"body":"first one is quit doing what"},{"startTime":1000.5,"endTime":1003.86,"body":"everybody else is doing. People"},{"startTime":1000.5,"endTime":1003.86,"body":"have all kinds of jobs, and"},{"startTime":1003.86,"endTime":1006.2,"body":"they're involved in all kinds of"},{"startTime":1003.86,"endTime":1006.2,"body":"activities, and not all of those"},{"startTime":1006.2,"endTime":1009.38,"body":"are right for you. So by"},{"startTime":1006.2,"endTime":1009.38,"body":"focusing less on what everybody"},{"startTime":1009.38,"endTime":1011.69,"body":"else does, and more on what you"},{"startTime":1009.38,"endTime":1011.69,"body":"want, you're going to feel much"},{"startTime":1011.69,"endTime":1016.31,"body":"happier. My second suggestion is"},{"startTime":1011.69,"endTime":1016.31,"body":"to stand out more, wouldn't you"},{"startTime":1016.31,"endTime":1020.39,"body":"rather take a chance on being"},{"startTime":1016.31,"endTime":1020.39,"body":"seen for who you are in all of"},{"startTime":1020.39,"endTime":1025.01,"body":"your magnificent eccentric"},{"startTime":1020.39,"endTime":1025.01,"body":"glory. The beautiful thing about"},{"startTime":1025.01,"endTime":1028.37,"body":"letting go of the idea of"},{"startTime":1025.01,"endTime":1028.37,"body":"fitting in as you no longer are"},{"startTime":1028.37,"endTime":1032.99,"body":"stuck as a follower. It is a lot"},{"startTime":1028.37,"endTime":1032.99,"body":"more fun being a trendsetter"},{"startTime":1032.99,"endTime":1036.74,"body":"anyway, a third way to shake up"},{"startTime":1032.99,"endTime":1036.74,"body":"the status quo is to quit"},{"startTime":1036.74,"endTime":1040.58,"body":"thinking that you can buy your"},{"startTime":1036.74,"endTime":1040.58,"body":"way to happiness or earn your"},{"startTime":1040.58,"endTime":1043.85,"body":"way to happiness. When we're not"},{"startTime":1040.58,"endTime":1043.85,"body":"happy. We start burying"},{"startTime":1043.85,"endTime":1047.84,"body":"ourselves in stuff and"},{"startTime":1043.85,"endTime":1047.84,"body":"activities, thinking this will"},{"startTime":1047.84,"endTime":1052.25,"body":"somehow make up for it. The"},{"startTime":1047.84,"endTime":1052.25,"body":"harsh truth, all the new TVs,"},{"startTime":1052.25,"endTime":1057.8,"body":"fancy cars, exotic vacations,"},{"startTime":1052.25,"endTime":1057.8,"body":"and toxic selflessness is never"},{"startTime":1057.8,"endTime":1061.4,"body":"going to make you feel any more"},{"startTime":1057.8,"endTime":1061.4,"body":"fulfilled. Doing what you hate"},{"startTime":1061.4,"endTime":1065.66,"body":"to get ahead is always going to"},{"startTime":1061.4,"endTime":1065.66,"body":"be a soul suck. And fourth, you"},{"startTime":1065.66,"endTime":1069.41,"body":"probably need to start trusting"},{"startTime":1065.66,"endTime":1069.41,"body":"yourself more. You don't need"},{"startTime":1069.41,"endTime":1073.52,"body":"everybody else to tell you what"},{"startTime":1069.41,"endTime":1073.52,"body":"to do. You already have pretty"},{"startTime":1073.52,"endTime":1077.51,"body":"solid instincts. So do what"},{"startTime":1073.52,"endTime":1077.51,"body":"feels right, honor your moral"},{"startTime":1077.51,"endTime":1081.17,"body":"code, and you can find you're a"},{"startTime":1077.51,"endTime":1081.17,"body":"lot happier for it. And then"},{"startTime":1081.17,"endTime":1085.64,"body":"lastly, take more chances."},{"startTime":1081.17,"endTime":1085.64,"body":"playing it safe is one of the"},{"startTime":1085.64,"endTime":1089.39,"body":"most significant ways we lock"},{"startTime":1085.64,"endTime":1089.39,"body":"ourselves into the status quo."},{"startTime":1089.54,"endTime":1093.38,"body":"And unfortunately, this is how"},{"startTime":1089.54,"endTime":1093.38,"body":"you also keep from bettering"},{"startTime":1093.38,"endTime":1095.99,"body":"yourself. So if you want your"},{"startTime":1093.38,"endTime":1095.99,"body":"life to change, you're going to"},{"startTime":1095.99,"endTime":1099.17,"body":"have to take a chance on doing"},{"startTime":1095.99,"endTime":1099.17,"body":"something different."},{"startTime":1108.74,"endTime":1113.81,"body":"That was awesome today. Thanks"},{"startTime":1108.74,"endTime":1113.81,"body":"everybody for joining me. Let's"},{"startTime":1113.81,"endTime":1117.35,"body":"make a difference. Let's change"},{"startTime":1113.81,"endTime":1117.35,"body":"the world together. Let's live"},{"startTime":1117.35,"endTime":1123.47,"body":"more outrageously. please get in"},{"startTime":1117.35,"endTime":1123.47,"body":"touch with me email me visit WWW"},{"startTime":1123.5,"endTime":1128.63,"body":"dot live outrageously.com to"},{"startTime":1123.5,"endTime":1128.63,"body":"subscribe so you don't miss any"},{"startTime":1128.66,"endTime":1134.36,"body":"of our future episodes. And now"},{"startTime":1128.66,"endTime":1134.36,"body":"because I absolutely love my new"},{"startTime":1134.36,"endTime":1139.16,"body":"background music. We're gonna"},{"startTime":1134.36,"endTime":1139.16,"body":"dance it out. Go be outrageous,"},{"startTime":1139.16,"endTime":1140.51,"body":"you lovely humans."},{"startTime":1158.36,"endTime":1159.08,"body":"Dance it out."}]}