Choices

In this powerful episode of the Supporting Dads/Spiritual Dads Podcast, we challenge fathers to make a conscious choice: Will you simply live in what others have built, or will you become the builder of a legacy? 

As dads, we have been given that same responsibility to create, cultivate, build, and leave something behind. Our children are watching what we construct with our words, decisions, faith, discipline, relationships, and example. Every choice becomes another brick in the structure called legacy. The question is not whether we are building—it is what are we building?

This episode encourages dads to stop allowing circumstances, past mistakes, absent fathers, disappointments, or negative suggestions to determine what the next generation will inherit. We may not have chosen the foundation that was handed to us, but we can choose what we build upon it. The Creator is still providing the blueprint, but dads must make the choice to pick up the tools.

So the challenge of this episode is simple but powerful: Dad, make the choice to be the builder. Build the relationship. Build the faith. Build the character. Build the vision. Build the family. Build what the Creator placed inside of you—because what you faithfully build today can become the foundation upon which generations stand tomorrow.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:16

Good morning and welcome to Spiritual Dads, the online men's ministry of Outpora Worship Assembly. The vision of this ministry is to address issues for generational impact using kingdom principles that can change the landscape of the family and the world. There are various ways to participate in this ministry. Visiting in person at the church, watching through Facebook Live on the Outpora Worship Assembly page, or listening to the Supporting Dads podcast, you will benefit and be blessed, no matter what method you choose. So prepare to engage with the knowledge and the wisdom that will be shared. The Dads are now on touchdown.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

I love it. And we are so fortunate to have such an awesome pastor, Pastor A, Pastor Angela Abrams, that have made a space availability to us. And we want to say to her, thank you, thank you, thank you for being able to support the men in a way in which we're able to reach out to dads. So dads tell a friend, tell a neighbor, if you have a dad that you know can benefit from this program, this support, you'll be amazed. I'm reading some material now, and it talks about, and we will be talking about that today on the program in regards to language, how language is so effective and influential in helping. Now I can really understand after reading the material how as a trained therapist, how talk therapy can help and redirect a lot of issues if a person is able to vocalize what they realize. You like that? You like that? Vocalize what you realize. We have, before um we go any further, we have Elder Earl's here. He has an awesome testimony, has some questions he's going to assist and aid us with today. Then we are going to thank the Lord for my missus, Miss Gatherwright, Sister Gatherwright, educator, uh, entrepreneur, just an awesome person, raised, helped. She was my partner and helping to raise four of our fantastic four, as she calls them. And then we have our terrific two, our two grandchildren. So we shout out to them. We're going to start with a prayer. Lord, we thank you right now, God, for this opportunity to come to men, to come uh to the individuals around the world. Thank you for an opportunity to reach the world with this ministry. We just pray as we speak today, it'll be words of encouragement, words of enlightenment, words that will help someone find their way. A dad, God, a dad that is struggling, a dad that is having issues. God, help us to be able to help them to find an answer, find some support. And we'll thank you for it and bless you for it. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Just before we get started and all this great stuff that we're going to be uh referring to, also want to give a shout out to the FDEI program that is our Family Discipleship Empowerment Initiative that is out at Outpour Worship Assembly. And just by way of uh a shout out to Minister Moore and her awesome work that she's doing with the program, yesterday we had the opportunity to be out in the courtyard enjoying games and festivities and activities. Only thing that was missing, though, but that's okay, because as we continue on with this program, dads are going to be out in great numbers. So we were missing a lot of dads, but we know due to work obligations, school obligations, life obligations, it becomes challenging. But somebody that is sitting by me today, I'm sure they're gonna share with us as a single dad, a dad that is still very active in his child's life, strategies and tips to navigate these uh trying waters that we as men have to do. Sometimes I know as I was sharing uh with someone earlier, my dad was the dad that all we had was church and work. There was no go to get a hot dog, there was no go to the carnival. I'm an avid Bears fan. Um so we would never watch the Bears get together.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

He's a Bears fan.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

A Bears fan, that's right. Oh Lord, have mercy. I think we'll kick him off the program now. No, but uh so but the thing is we want Daz to know that as much as you work and you um bring your child to church, if those of you that do that, um hopefully you're doing it with the Spiritual Dads program, um as much as you do that, also, and my brother told me this and I thought about it, and establishing memories. Establishing memories are super important. So as we go over what we're going to go over today, we just want you to understand in the discipleship program that we're initiating here, that it's super important to establish those memories because, as the Bible, you can look at a lot of Bible stories and it refers to them reflecting back on what their dads taught them, what their fathers taught them. Even as we look at scriptures, we have a couple scriptures here that we want to put out there. It says, A righteous man walks in integrity, his children are blessed after him. So the integrity that the dad walks in, from Proverbs 20 and 7. Now the child is blessed because of that integrity. And that's what we're trying to establish here. Also, 1 Timothy 5 and 8, provide for your own family, caring for your household, puts faith into action. So we want to encourage a dad, let a dad know we're here. Also, we want to thank God for a program uh that we have here, also Shackley, and also uh Legal SHIEL. So that is a program that can help dads that are struggling with income. It's a way that you can obtain income. We're a holistic ministry here, if you didn't know. So letting you know, Legal SHIEL helps uh dads that are having issues as far as legal matters. You can be a part of that program. If you want more information, uh dgatherite at gmail.com. Shoot it to me, give me your information. I will definitely submit that over to our wonderful director, Teresa Smith, that helps out with those issues. So at the outpour, we outpour help. At the outpour, we outpour holistic healing, holistic training. I love what the pastors say all often. Um, one sound, one band. That's where we're here at. And as we have concluded with all our announcements, I know I don't sound like an announcer, but that's we are so excited. So we're going to ask this young gentleman that is a Packers fan. I mean uh Steelers fan. Steelers fan. You're going to click correct me. I'm thinking about my brother that I'm and I also want to say that uh those of you that are also interested, we have a men's program that we do uh via Zoom every other Wednesday. That same email, if you're interested in being a part of that, Degatherite at gmail.com. I will be I'm working on my um, and I'm working on, you can also contact me. I'm grateful to say that you can contact me at degatheritebooks.com. That's one of my websites. That's my website for my books. Hopefully you can go on there and if you say, How can I support this program? Well, first of all, we want you to look at the church handles. That's one way you can bless the church. If you're looking to bless our individual ministry, um, hey, dgatherrightbooks.com. You can contact me from that perspective. That is my website. You get a little bit more information in regards to me. But because this is the church, I want to say shoot all of those finances over to outpour so we can be put in a place where we can outpour more. So at this time we have Elder Earls. He's going to let us know who he is and all the great things that he does with his uh wonderful daughter. So here we are, Elder Earls, tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Well, praise the Lord to everybody. Uh, my name is Elder James Earls. Uh, I am a member here at Alpora Worship Assembly, and I am B 50 this year, 51 this year. Well, I'm I'm I'm glad about that. I do have a daughter. Uh her name is Elizabeth Earls. Okay. Amen. And she turned 17 um two days ago. Wow. Amen. So uh she's a teenager now, and uh, she don't like to talk to dad that much. Wow. But uh I know that in that age, uh sometimes they they want to do their own little thing. So uh but yeah, I'm I'm glad to be saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost, and baptized in Jesus' name, and um I'm still going on in Jesus' name. So um, yeah, that's that's who I am. All right. I love the Lord. Love the Lord with all my heart.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Can you tell us a little bit more about the fact of raising your child? You say Elizabeth Earl's, right? I remember uh I guess it was 10 years ago. I don't know, but I remember her uh when she had her 10th birthday and how excited you were, uh delighted you were, and I don't know why Tien comes up in my mind right now, but I remember her being Tien, and you have been in her life, and like we had talked prior to coming on, the a lot of things, and this is what we're if you can bless the audience with a lot of situations, life circumstances have come your way where instead of you making an excuse, you have literally just no excuse. I'm gonna go ahead, handle the business, do what I need to do to be there for my daughter. Um, can you elaborate a little bit on that? Because you know, you have a lot of men that say, Well, I think I'll be better off out their life instead of in their life. There's a a horrible myth out there like that. So can you elaborate on the motivation, the inspiration that helped you to just be there in her life like that?

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Well, I I gotta say because I love my child. You know, um, I knew when I grew up, uh I did have a father uh at home. Oh wow. But um, but he wasn't uh he was there, but not there. I hope y'all catch that. Um but I saw the things that when he was not there, I decided it within myself that I'm gonna be there for my child. Wow. And uh I go, I I I don't complain about it because that's my daughter. Ain't nobody gonna take care of her but me. I like that. So nobody's gonna take care of but me. So I I purposely and want to and love to be there for my child. And I let her know that she only has but one father. Okay, okay, all right. So I tell her that all the time. Uh I said, uh, Elizabeth, I'm your father. And um, and she'll laugh, but I mean what I say and I do what I say. But you know, when you being a father, um just like our heavenly father, he takes care of us. Okay. So as us being men and being father, we should be able to take care of our children and be there for them and help guide them. And that's one thing I would uh say that I purposely do try to help guide my child. Uh, make sure she understands that the Lord is our God. Okay. I let her know that she needs to pray. I even show her how to pray. I even uh uh uh pray for her on the phone, you know, just to let her know that God, whenever you're going through something, go to the Lord. Pray, ask the Lord uh to help you through this uh the situation. And I started that as a young age because uh at the age of three, we used to uh pray together and go to bed. Um when I was married, um we prayed together every night to go to go before we went to bed. And then when we got up, you know, I'd put some gospel music on, we'd put some little shout music on.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

All right.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

And uh she would dance around the house and I would dance with her just to uh show her this is the way of uh holiness. It's the way. So um uh I do I do purposely want to be there for my child um because I saw some things in my father that I was looking for. And um he he only could do what he knew how to do. Right, you know, a lot of times people uh uh see men, sometimes they grew up and was raised uh differently, you know, than where I was raised in, you know. Uh but sometimes they didn't get the uh the nuggets or the things to how to be a man. So I just purpose and asked the Lord to help me to uh how to be there for my child. And the Lord blessed me. And I found out it's a greater blessing to be there for your child, it's to see her smile when she sees you. You know, uh I try not to disappoint my child. Okay. Uh that's another thing, too. And you know, I don't tell her something I'm not going to do. If I'm gonna do it, I make sure I I will do that. And if I can't do it, still talk to your child, let her know, baby, I'm sorry, I can't do this. You know, those kind of things uh really sticks out to your child. And she they might not tell you right now, but later on down the line, they may say, I remember when you did this and you told me you couldn't do it. You know, those the kind of things I look forward to uh from my fa my daughter.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

So love it, as usual. I love it. Um, especially some of the things that I take away from your conversation is the fact of wanting to be there for your daughter. Um, that's one of the things I uh share with you is that I've always made up in my mind, prior to me uh being married or anything, I always made up in my mind, like you stated, our dads could only do what dads could do at the time. And so that's one of the things I want to share with some of the sons that have become dads, and maybe even blaming dad for not doing every anticipation, expectation that they probably had in life because I share the same things that Earl Ella Earl shared. Uh, however, one of the things that I think stood out the most from what he was saying is the fact that he wanted to do it differently. He wanted to be different, and I'm gonna challenge someone to think about the difference. I'm um dealing with um the language of dominion now, and there'll be some questions that I'm going to ask about how we're speaking into our life, how we're speaking to our children, because the power of life and death is in the tongue. And there is there's even what as um us behavioralists knows to be true is what we call verbal abuse. You can literally ver, you know, your verbal abuse can be more even more potent than physical abuse because that sticks in your child's head. And so one of the things that stuck out to me the most was Elder Earl saying that he was divorced. And in his divorce, he made a choice. That choice was not to leave little Elizabeth to get confused on who's the daddy. And so I want him to just elaborate a little bit on his thought pattern when I mean you don't have to go into the divorce and whose fault it was. We're not into all of that. We just want to focus the whole conversation around your thought pattern towards the determination to be there for little Elizabeth. And well, I can't say little because she's 17 now. 17. Wow. So she'll be what? She'll junior? Yes. Junior. My goodness. You'll be preparing for uh graduation soon. So enough. So what what was going on in your head when you was like, I just want to be there for my daughter, regardless of the way this relationship happens, because we have a lot of either the the female or the male, either one. But since we're addressing dads today, we don't want a dad just because the relationship went the way it went to forsake your seed. So that's the million-dollar question I have in my head right now. What was going on in your head besides I want to be there for my daughter? I don't I want her to know that I'm daddy. Anything else that you can add to that narrative that can bless somebody today?

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Yes. Uh first of all, I didn't want to get divorced. I think anybody can say they didn't want a divorce. Uh, but circumstance circumstances happened, and but in that uh having getting a divorce, I told my ex-wife and her, that my daughter, that I'm gonna be there for her. Um I tell brothers all the time when you have a child and you're not in uh same city, um go to the child support and get your child support taken out. So you have to have money. And so if you're not able to be there all the time, do the right thing. You want to make sure your child is taken care of. I did that. I purposely went down there and and made sure that it was taken out. And then um I also told my daughter, I'm gonna still come and see you. I'm gonna still be there for you. And I did, and I'm still doing that. Um because I I I don't want her to uh say, for instance, my ex-wife will get get married to somebody else. I want her to know I'm still her father. You know, that's why I purposely do that. Okay. I want her to know. And I I I'm I'm not just won't by talking to her, but it's also by being there with her, for her. Um and when she calls and things, I I never forget um the first uh birthday we had since we'd been divorced. Um I made a trip to uh see her. Okay. And um my daughter was not expecting me, but when she saw me, she was happy to see daddy. And that that right there, I I that keeps me motivated. Okay. When you're when your child looks at you and they're happy to see you, even though you're not there all the time, every day. You know, make sure you go to school like I used to, you know, waking her up and uh taking her to school and walking her to school. I'm not able to do that now, but I made it purposely to go down there. And one time when she first started this new school, I drove to see my daughter and took her to school. Wow. Took her to school. I mean, I stayed overnight, so uh, but it was a long drive, but I didn't mind. You know, it takes five hours to go see my daughter, but I don't mind. Right. Um, there's times where um I just on my off day I uh I work, I I think about my daughter. I said, I'm just gonna go see her. So I just get up and and drive and and go see her. And I spend a little two hours or three hours down there where she at and then you know drive back that same day. So but those little things like that, I I purposely do it because I want her to know that I'm her father, I'm gonna be here, you know, be there for her. And I always think about how uh God uh be there for us when we need him to be. You know what I'm saying? I always think about that because a lot of times we think uh God's not there because our circumstances will uh cloud our mind. You know, we we don't want to recognize that, but we inhuman, we we get we get discouraged, um, get down, depressed, but we don't uh we got to realize that God is still there. You know, get He's still there. So that's what I did. And you know, in the end of divorce, I want to say this I do not, and one thing I never did is try to argue. With my ex-wife in front of my daughter or anybody. I gave her respect. So once once uh that person makes that decision, respect that decision. You know, it might not be what you want, respect it. And just go on and keep the communication good. And that's that's what I've been doing. You know, uh, you know, it's it's it's tough because I tell my daughter all the time, and and I hope you all fathers listen to this. I don't feel like a father when she's not with me. You know what I'm saying? I feel like a father when she's with me, and I let her know that. You know, I I like to be because when I'm by myself, you know, I'm just a man. But when when I'm with my daughter, I'm a father. Okay. You get what I'm saying? So I I take that and I'm proud for of it. You know, I don't mind to be proud for being a father. Um, but I just purpose. But one thing I say in a divorce, even if this was a good one. I I can't say it was a bad one. But, you know, because you don't want to argue, you don't want to fight, you don't want to uh uh get in a disarray and uh make her look bad or make she make me look bad, we didn't go through none of that. One thing we did, we communicated, we sat down, we talked about it, and uh once that she made her decision, I said, okay, this is what we're gonna do. But we also prayed about it. Okay, one thing we did, we prayed about it, and we went through counseling. We went through counseling, and that's another thing too. Uh, counseling is good for when you're going through a divorce. Counseling is good, and never neglect it, never neglect to uh go to your pastor, ask for direction, asking for uh uh spiritual uh help and go to the word of God. And and as men, we got to pray, we got to study the word of God for ourselves too to help us uh to be there for our children, be there uh for whoever you know we have to. So um I just wanted to uh give that because uh a divorce is not an easy thing. And I I don't encourage it. I don't encourage it if you can, and I tell these people all the time, um, if you go out now these days in 2026, it's not easy dating. So uh stay where you are and work it out and ask the Lord to help you. Ask the Lord to help you. And uh I tell any man right now, don't don't don't get in a big tussle with your wife or uh the woman that you're with. Don't get in tussle with them. Just continue to pray and respect their decision and uh still love them, uh, still be there for them when they need to. And you let God work on them. You know, one thing uh um I have to mention uh Bishop Frazier, he taught me sometime some time ago. Listen to what people say and watch what they do. I'm telling you, that that speaks a lot of volumes. And you know, a lot of people can talk a good talk. So, but their action don't even line up with it. So um, but like I said, you know, counsel is good for you. Uh uh make sure you work it out first before you make that decision to get a divorce. Make sure you work it out. So uh, and then also just continue to show love uh to your children, just like I did. You know, I didn't I didn't miss a beat. I'm still not missing the beat. You know, I still love my daughter and gonna continue to until the day I die. So uh that's that's what I encourage everybody to do.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

Well, to sum it up, and and we want to be, you know, real sensitive to the fact, and uh people everybody have make choices. So we want to be real sensitive and want it to be expressed that we're very sensitive to various relationship problems and uh people and their choices. We can't dictate or determine uh why, what, who, all that. There's no judgment here for whatever choices. I feel like this the Lord is giving it to me, and I'll challenge everybody to look at it from this perspective. Everybody is on a journey, right? We can't get mad at nobody's journey that God got them on. I just encourage everybody on your journey, make sure Jesus is found and discovered in how you do things. So I just want to be really clear because some people we don't know their circumstances, but between the choices that they made. We want to be real clear, as crystal clear as possible, um, because we know how very sensitive, very um, it's just a very uh a very uh time, a moment where it's not what it was. You know, we don't want nobody to think that just because we hit on the term divorce, that uh anybody start adding or subtracting. We just want people to be very clear that we're not here to determine your choice and what you choose to do. What we're saying is love your child. Period. So let me say it one more time. Love your child. Whatever choice you made, because you made that choice, we are saying you are on a journey that's between you and God. That's right. And we ain't touching it. We just saying and want to emphasize and hope everybody listening before you go running and get lost, love your child.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

We we understand that life is life. And now please hear me out. You I'm speaking from the perspective of an educator. I'm also speaking from the perspective of a trained therapist, and I'm also speaking from the train uh the uh experience and the religious experience of being an associate pastor. So I want everybody to be clear that we're saying love your child. That's what we're saying, and the fact of this right here. So make sure if you want to get something, get this right here. You are a builder. That builder had the language of the ultimate builder. The ultimate builder has been speaking to us. That's God, that's the creator, been speaking to us. The question is, have we been speaking back? Have we been seeking first to understand, then to be understood? Well, Lord, you don't understand me. Well, you he's gonna understand you, but do you understand him? Then what would change in your life if you governed your language with the same intentionality that God demonstrated in Genesis 1? Think about that for a minute. If we use that same language, when now think about Genesis 1. Genesis 1 is when he spoke to darkness, when he spoke to void, really when he spoke to confusion. And one of the things to tie all of this together that Elder Earls have said on numerous occasions is that he spends the time with his daughter. One of the things I hope that you guys are paying attention to, five hours to go where his daughter is at. That's not just five hours, you guys. That's ten hours. Five to get there, fire to get back. So here in his mind, because that's where it all originates. There are thoughts in his mind that speak to him, and that's where we're want to challenge today. Those thoughts that speak to you that is causing you either to bill or to kill. Now, understand this life and death is in the power of the tongue. And he mentioned the fact he never got into it in front of his child. Never. Regardless of what they went through. And again, let me be crystal clear because people hear what they want to hear. We're not making a joke a decision or judgment on none of that. I'm not God. God is up there. Talk to him, don't talk to me. But I'm saying to everybody, pay attention to what this man is saying. His language was not one that ridiculed, brought his ex-wife down in front of his child. His language was or in front of people.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

Okay. Or in front of people to talk about it. I never done that.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

I never done that. And that that that's a key point, too. It's all about being uh a man, period. You don't want to disrespect a woman. And you don't want to, because that same woman is somebody else's daughter. Right. Okay. You get what I'm saying? So uh just like I don't want nobody to disrespect my mama, I didn't want nobody to disrespect my wife, I don't want nobody to disrespect my daughter. So you got to understand that. But then you as men, we gotta learn how to step back and just learn, don't disrespect her. Just disrespect respect her decisions. That's all. And you'll find out that that goes a long way. And then just like when your own child, your own daughter, like my daughter may say, Dad, I just don't want to come up here like you know, a couple of Sundays, uh summers. I don't want to come up, I want to stay with mama. Yeah, it bothered me. I want my child with me, but I had to respect my daughter. She just wants to stay with her mother. Okay, baby. But I still make a chance uh uh uh a drive to go see my daughter. Okay, because I want to see her. And I'm not doing this to say everybody, oh, I'm a good father. No, I I purposely, I don't need no credibility for nobody else. I got the credibility from my daughter and from God.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Love it, love it, love it. Because here he is basically answering the next question. What realities are currently dormant in your spirit because no one has yet spoken the word that activates them. So here he's activating words of life to his child. Here he's, and this is part of discipleship, he's activating things that has to be. And and and one of the things I've been saying lately, especially being lost in Genesis 1, is that the Lord says, Let there be.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

He didn't say maybe or could be or should be. He said, Let there be. Dad's, you let it be. One of the things that stood out the most that a lot of brothers probably said, man, oh no. That is in my head, and I gotta bring it out. This man said, and clarify for me if I heard it right. He said he went down to the place, wherever that place is at, and decided to get the child support taken out. That's right. That's right. That's deep. Well, maybe, and you clarify that for me, maybe you tell them how much you want to take out, right?

SPEAKER_02 32:25

No, they have they have a percentage they want to take out. And um, and that's and and you know, I I talk to people at my job about this because they wonder why uh do I do that. I said, You mean look good with society, but you're also gonna look good with your daughter or your children. You gotta think about that. You want to look good with all of that. Do what's right in God's eyesight. Take care of your child, be there for your your child. Go to work, uh, uh, uh, uh, and pray and seek the Lord. And see, that's another thing too. Man, we gotta continue to pray. We gotta continue to study God's word. I'm telling you, God's word and prayer will help you deal with life issues.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Love it, love it. Because again, as stated in Genesis the first chapter, you're looking at a builder.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

What are we building in our lives? And a lot of people, it's it's challenging because they don't understand that they're building their universe. You're building your universe with the word of God or without the word of God. And you are building, but again, the Bible talks about the person that builds a house and what are you building it upon? So if you know you're finding yourself in a storm and your house keeps collapsing, it's time to check that foundation. And that's what I'm encouraging you to do today. Check your foundation. Because if your foundation is not standing on the word of God, then of course you're gonna have something odd. There you go. You can hashtag that. If your word, if the word of your life is not on the word of God, you're going to have something odd. You don't even have to argue the point. All you got to do is experience the point, and you will see that it is a reality. What you speak is what becomes in your life. So we're encouraging the dads. If you need the help, you need the support, as you can see on this program, dgatherwright at gmail.com. I'm working towards my license and becoming a therapist. Well, a licensed therapist because I'm practicing now. We can get you the help. We can make sure that we can get you the support that you need. All right, we're trying to get to this question. We're seeing that there's a question posted. But we can get the qu we can get you the help that you need, and we want and we want to encourage you to make sure that you are getting the help that you need and um trying to answer this question. Uh okay. So we're gonna look at we're gonna have other earls be my my my check person. But we can get you the help you need. We don't want you to think that this is just some good religious program. Amen. Praise the Lord. Cut it off, wait till the end of uh wait till the end of the month of next month to wait for it to come on again. If your heart is bleeding, I tell my students in the classroom, I say you should not suffer in silence. You do not have to suffer in silence. There are some powerful things that this man of God said today. If you know you're not on that level, if you know you want to be able to see your child, don't know how to see your child, he mentioned it already about getting the help. You can get the help. Don't suffer in silence. And remember the scriptures that we talked about earlier. The scriptures we talked about earlier is in regards to that wise man, that individual, looking for my scriptures again, but that wise person that builds his house, train a child in the way he should go. When they are old, they will not turn away from it. You're training your children on what they should. We both have testimonies that our parents, our dads especially, did the best that they could. Did the best that they could. But a righteous man walks in integrity. That's one of the things I remember about my dad walking in integrity. He was a man of his word and he did what he said. And I'm here to tell you check your integrity, check what you're saying, check your premises, because a lot of us are premising things to these children, and they're not happening. Let me remind you again that part of my initiative to start this program was being an educator for over 20 some years. And just like the program last night, where there were few men, that's the same way in the classroom. That's the same way in the school. Although Elder Earl's done proved to us, if you check the programs out, the statistic proves that African American men are more active involved in their children's lives than any other nationality. So we do got something good going, brothers. Yes, but we're going to encourage you not to believe what they say. Don't believe the hype. Don't believe the hype. You know, don't believe the hype because a father shows compassion to his children, just as the Lord shows compassion to those who honor him. That's what Psalms 103 and 13 says. We need dads to show compassion. And one of the things we're going to ask Ella Earls, tell us a little bit about that compassion piece while I pull up the rest of these notes. Go ahead. Tell us a little bit more about the compassion piece there.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

Well, the compassion that I will say with me and my daughter is just knowing that she loves me and I love her. Okay. So uh one thing, uh tell you about one experience that, you know, I love what my daughter does, you know, out of nowhere, she'll text me and say, I love you, Daddy. You know, and or she'll call, and uh, and when I was down, you know, your child uh is very sensitive to who you, you know, what you give them, you know. They know when you're mad and know when you're sad, you know, all that. But my daughter called me one time. I was just down. She said, Dad, I just want to call and say I love you. I said, Well, baby, that's exactly what I needed. And so I told her I love her too. And then um, you know, when she did that, uh, I had to, I had to go see her. So I had to go see my baby because I want I wanted that hug from her.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

Right.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

I wanted that hug from her, you know, and you know, sometimes when I pull up to her, pull up in the house, you know, she somehow she'll know when I'm pulling up because she'll run out there and uh she'll say, hey dad, you know, and and wait by the car until I open the door. Yeah, that is to me, is the most compassionate thing I can ever ask for from my daughter, just to just to show that or text me that or even just call me. Because I I do that to my mother. I I call her and tell her I love her out of nowhere because I just want to do it, because I that's that's what I love to do. You know what I'm saying? Like with my brothers and my uh and my um my nieces and nephews, and the same thing, you know. I you know I forgot to tell you I got uh three godchildren. I got a godson that um the Lord allowed me to raise when he was seven years old in Evansville, Indiana. I came into his life, and um there was a time where he uh his dad didn't want nothing to do with him. Wow. And I had to uh they called me at work and I went over there and I got in his face and said, son, I'm your father now. I said, Don't worry about him, you know, trying to keep him from you know getting in a big argument. And that that made a big impact on him. He's 30 years old now, but but he he's doing good for himself, you know, and the things that and then my two goddaughters, they're doing good for themselves too. But just having that compassion for someone else's child is awesome. And you take it in and treat them like your own, and they treat my daughter like their little sister. So I I love that. I love that. So uh compassion is a it's a good thing, brothers. And you know, I'm gonna say this, brothers. We can be compassionate, but it ain't gonna make a lesser man of us if we be compassionate, and it ain't gonna make a lesser man if we pray, and it's gonna make us a lesser man if we uh uh study God's word, love on our children, and and even if you're married now, love on your wife and and and pray and ask God how to treat your wife. And the Bible tells you how to do that. So it but it don't make you a lesser man, it makes you a greater man when you do that, a greater man. So I'm just encouraging you all to keep on doing the will of God because it's it's a needful to do God's will in these last and even days.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Absolutely, absolutely, and we want to definitely thank the viewers that's uh we've noticed on uh Sister Teresa Smith. We've already talked about her program. Uh, if she wants to, you can go ahead and put your uh contact information on there, uh Sister Teresa Smith, because we did talk about Shackley and uh what was that? Uh I'm sorry. Legal Shield. Legal Shield. We'll make y'all my notes right here. So if you want to put information in there, because again, with the legal matters, uh you might uh want to be able to follow up, just like Ella Earls was saying, where he went down to the um child support, child support agency to get his uh child support taken out of his check. Maybe you want to start today and say, hey, you know what? I want to change the way I'm being viewed. Because as we said, a builder requires uh a builder who speaks. Now you're speaking what you want to come into existence. Now, he mentioned his godsons, and he mentioned uh his Godson you said was 30 now, right? Yeah, he's 30. Well, we have somebody online right now, a brother Sean Pritchett, who was interviewed a couple sessions uh couple uh moments ago on the same program, did the same thing with his and the crazy the amazing thing, I won't say crazy, the amazing thing about it is he was he took over raising his uh niece when his brother, I believe, was tragically uh killed. I think he was murdered, and he took over raising, and you could tell us, uh Sean, whatever, if you want to have time to tap it and you know, type the story in there if you want to. And then he winds up taking care of the niece children. I say this is somebody that dads need to know about, mentors need to know about, because we don't want it to just be stuck on dads, but mentors, because again, man, we are building a society that God can be pleased with. We're at Outpour and we're learning about the churches. And and I'm not gonna go into all of them, I'm just gonna pique your curiosity so you can come on out and listen up and be a part of. But in Revelation's the third chapter that sticks out over and over in my mind because I'm looking at this and it's saying to us through my notes what is speaking to you. What's speaking to me is I'd rather be, I don't want to be the lukewarm person. I don't want to be the lukewarm teacher, I don't want to be the lukewarm uh mentor, I don't want to be the Lukewarm dad, granddad, because I'm actually uh me and my wife, so let me clarify that. Uh, me and my wife is actually helping to raise our grandchildren. And we're with them, I would say at least 75 to 80 percent of the time. If you look at my Facebook page, you look at my pictures, even my family doesn't say that. Every time we see you, we see the grandchildren. It's almost like even when I go to work, they like, okay, how's your grandbabies doing? They'll ask more about the grandbabies than they would my children. Because when you find a love and when you find a purpose, it's easy to do what you love to do. It's hard when you make it hard. That's right. So let me tell the dads and the mentors again, it's hard when you make it hard. That's right. Somebody asked me yesterday as we was at the um F D E I, you know, Family Development Empowerment Institute program. They said, How is it that you find a way? Now they call the children bad. I call them curious. So we have to just make sure we guide them in their curiosity so they can stay away from the monstrosity. Y'all got that? You like that? Stay away from the monstrosity, which is the terrible things in life. So they say, How do you do it, Pastor Gather? I say, I've come to understand. Everybody is on a journey, and it's the Lord that causes us, some to plant, some to water it, but it's up to God to give the increase. Will we understand that? We can do what our pastor told us the other day when she was talking to parents and she said, just love on them.

SPEAKER_02 45:45

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 45:45

She said, Don't preach to them, just love on them.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

Love on them.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

Because they're gonna do some things that's gonna cause you to scratch your head. You can see me and this brother right here have lost our hair. But I'm gonna tell you, he won't probably won't tell you his, but I'm gonna tell you how I lost mine. I lost mine working at Chicago public schools because I was working and helping children. Before I knew it, stress came, got out of a stressful environment, love where I'm at now. Re uh, I would say been uh rejuvenated with these sixth graders, uh, because I used to teach high school, but I'm here to tell you when you love what you do, you do what you love, and it was never life becomes fun. I'll never forget when I went to school when I uh first started out in education, Ella Earls, and I was I heard a teacher say, I never looked at this as work. I felt like I was coming to work, I didn't feel like I was coming to work. I was like, You don't feel like you're going to work? I don't feel like I'm going to work. Yes, I get tired. Yes, there's behavioral problems that we have to, you know, to solve. And uh, I love my job so much, and I'm gonna continue to speak life. I'm gonna speak no fights this year. I love my job so much. I've been teaching over 20 some years. And if I was in a classroom, I would ask the students how many fights done happened in my class. Some kids said 50. I said, So you believe I just sit there and say, hey man, y'all go ahead, go at it. And when administration comes, I break it up. I say 50 fights.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

Oh Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

I done had literally, I done had nine fights over 50 years. I mean, over 50 years. Over, I'm telling my age now, over 20 something. I done had about nine fights. Half of the fights happen when I had to stand in the hallway, monitor the hallway, and then somebody running in, and then all of a sudden, it's it's it's there it goes. Now, the one I one of them I had last year, I couldn't get you know, age caught up with me, so I couldn't run to intervene quick enough. So so, but the thing is, it's such a loving environment, it's such a positive environment, and I'm here to challenge every man that's listening to this program. I'm here to challenge you to find the love. If you find the love in doing this, now I'm gonna give you a nugget here. It's gonna really trip a lot of people out. If you do that, I really believe you can avoid a lot of trouble in your life. I believe you can, you, you, you know, you won't get caught up in certain. I know the Bible says every man is tempted when he's drawn away by his own lust and in type. But I believe that if you do that, you can be part of the seven habits. I teach this a lot in my class too. One of the seven habits of highly thinking, highly effective thinking people is being proactive. I believe if you plan the family event, and a little sister, the sister, whatever way you want to describe her, that sat there and set the trap for you, but because you are on the family trip, and you now, y'all go here, y'all enjoy yourself. No, you're there with your family. You're there driving five hours to get there, five hours to get back. Loving on your children. I remember being on this broadcast. Brother Sean will remember clearest day, and I'm sure he'll the engineer. And I said that. Watch this, Earl. I said, I have four women in my life. They said, What? I said, Yes, I love on my wife. I have my two daughters. Oh, I said five. That's five, right? I have two daughters, and I have my grandchildren. I'm hot time for another woman. I know that's right. I just don't. So outside of fearing God and thinking about the place I would go to, you know, sister gathering. I'm gonna leave that alone because I want the wrong thing to go out. Then my I have, you know, now unfortunately, um, you have the um the loc find your location. I have one daughter knows where I'm at at all times.

unknown 50:00

That's one.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

Dad, you didn't move yet. I'm like, what the why I gotta spy? Then not only that, and I'm telling you, brothers, this is enjoyment because you're like Ella Earl said, you are setting up memories.

unknown 50:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

We'll be able to laugh, we laugh, and we talk about this often. You know, we laugh about it. Then we have my grandbabies. Papa, where were you at? Papa, I missed you. In a right mind. Put them little eyeballs looking at you, and you sitting there and know you done did the wrong thing. And them eyeballs, where you been? Well, what happened? I'm telling y'all, nah, nah, nah, nah. If you got the love of God. We talked about it, and you need to listen to it at some point where we had mentioned the fact of dying out to worldly pleasures, dying out to things that um is not conducive to giving God glory. I believe, men, this is the closing point. I believe, men, that we have to die out to selfish ambitions because now we have seed in our life. That seed and part of the discipleship is the part where you know that you're investing into that person's life. Some of the material I've been reading, and it stated the fact that not only should you be thinking about investing wealth, you should definitely, into your child's life. When you leave here, they should be able to be financially straight. But not only should they be financially straight, they should be mentally straight also. I really believe that Ella Earl's daughter is going to be able to identify the right type of man for her for her life because of her dad. Because it don't sound like, you know, because that's another that's another that's another uh version, another uh podcast, another men ministry that we have to do in regards to those that rebel. Now you can do all that you need to do and be all that you need to be, but if that rebellion is taking place, men, especially if you find yourself in this situation, if the child has been rebelling, please understand they trained themselves to rebel. So whatever you done put out in their life, their mindset rebelled against it. Their mindset is I don't like nothing that dad's talking about, forget what he's saying, and all of that. I'm living it now, proof of it now, not with my daughter, but one of my sons, regardless of what I tell him, because he done set their rebel so hard, regardless. So I'm here to just encourage dads in the sense of you can do the great job. Those are gonna be my closing remarks. You do the job, but some and it's some water, and it's up to God to get an increase. We have to look at that the same way as parents. We have to look at that. We have to let go and let God. It's difficult, it's challenging. My son called me last night and I said, Boy, just let me get my head clear, let me get to Jesus because you own some stuff that I know ain't right. But as a dad, as a dad, you pray and you ask God because now you can go back to a reference point. Because I was like, man, I feel like I'm what do they call it? I'm enabling him. But the Lord said, nah, reference point. So we've got that said, we want to thank Ella Earls. Thank you, Ella Earls. Thank you for sharing stories about your little, well, you're going soon to be grown, Elizabeth. Thank you so much, sir. As a matter of fact, why don't you just pray us out of here?

SPEAKER_02 53:49

All right, Father God, we thank you, oh God, for this special uh spiritual dad uh podcast, what we're doing right now. We thank you, God, for how you're blessing the elder God in his endeavors, oh God. We ask you, God, to bless him everywhere he goes, oh God, every thought. God, we ask you God to increase it right now, God. God, we thank you for the ones that have tuned in, oh God. We pray that you would continue to uplift them, and pray that this uh little session right now would encourage the fathers all over God to be the man they can be and uh seek your face, oh God. And we give you praise, honor, and glory, oh God, for all the things that you're going to do from this day forward. In Jesus' name. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 54:36

Amen. And thank you for joining. See you all next time. If you have not been baptized in his name, filled with his Holy Spirit. We want to leave that nugget with you. 10708 South Vince Cans is where our port is located and it's at. If you're ever in the city, we invite you to come. We know where this is going out all over the world. So 10708 South Vince Sands in Chicago, Illinois, 606, I believe, 43. That's where you can find us at. And those of you that are listening around the world, we say thank you, thank you for uh constantly supporting. God bless you and enjoy the rest of your day.