The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Suicide loss changes everything. This show is about life after suicide—real talk and practical support for grief after suicide: parents, partners, siblings, and friends finding their footing again. Each week, we explore what helps in suicide bereavement so you can keep going with honesty and hope.
Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son, Alex, died by suicide in 2016, the podcast blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health experts with short solo “Daily Nugget” episodes you can actually use. We cover child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that make life livable again. You’ll hear grounded tools, language that honors your person, and the reminder that you are not broken—you are grieving.
For supporters and educators, these episodes offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support looks like. If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest via my website. 💜
Content Note
This podcast speaks candidly about difficult experiences and may feel activating. We avoid method details and graphic description. Please care for yourself as needed. I’m not a doctor or licensed therapist; nothing here is medical or mental-health advice.
The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Being "That' (Whispered About) Person; Discussion & Tools
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Today, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about a topic that is NOT new to me -- in some form I have been living with this since losing Alex nearly 5 years ago. Unless you have not left your house yet, I am certain that you too have experienced some form of this isolating feeling that comes when you start to interact with people and they bring up children … or mental health … or look at you with that look and say "how ARE you?" Or "I just don't think I could do this, you are so strong".... OR (Fill in the blank) … you even start to anticipate it before it happens. You feel like you are the one to avoid in the room ... ETC!!! Right??? How to cope!!??
As child (suicide) loss survivors we find that going out into public, or social circles, now creates more stress, where it once relieved stress to go out, see friends, be social. Not now, right? Even in leaving said event - we now carry the fact that once we have exited the space, the people left undoubtedly often talk about us in hushed tones -- "she's the one who lost her son to suicide" or "do you think she's 'coping' or ' doing ok' or … ???
We TRY to not let it bother us, but it DOES, It is emotionally exhausting, and very isolating. So, how do we not let it hurt our healing or set us backward. How do we cope IN THE MOMENT?
I discuss this and also offer a tool (or two) that you may want to try that I believe will help. It can (& does) get better with time, but it takes work. AND somethings will just never be the same - and accepting that is just part of it too.
THANK YOU for listening, it means more than I can say. Sending so much love & peace to you all!
HERE is a good article from a website called Complex Trauma Resources that explains top-down, bottom-up & even side-door approaches to trauma healing. I think you will see why I gravitate toward the latter two.
This journey is SO HARD my friends, but you can do it, we can do it- together!
As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here. Talk soon!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into
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💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts.
🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement.
🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope.
🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here.
🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here.
📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.