Hi guys. It’s been a minute! I think it’s been about two years since I last did a Define episode, and today we’re kind of repeating one of them—but in a slightly different direction. I’m excited to be back, to do this again, and to actually include some video and social clips this time. We’ll see how it goes.
Today I was asked to give a talk in my church, and the topic was based on another talk. For context, I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Twice a year, we have a conference where we spend about eight hours listening to apostles, teachers, and leaders share incredible messages that are spiritually uplifting and deeply meaningful.
The talk I was assigned to speak on is called “Know Who You Really Are” by Elder Eyre. It’s beautiful. I’ll reference it a lot in this episode because preparing for it meant so much to me—it touched on things I’ve really struggled with. While I was giving the talk, and even afterward, people told me it was exactly what they needed to hear. And honestly, it was exactly what I needed to hear, too.
I know I’m not the most eloquent person in the world, and I definitely don’t sound great when I’m crying—which I did through most of it—but I wanted to share this message and use it as an opportunity to reopen Define. Because this is the direction I want to take the show now: exploring how we define and redefine who we are through the words we use, the beliefs we hold, and the experiences that shape us.
For those who don’t know me, I’m Kaili. I’m a single mom of two amazing kids—my son is almost twelve, my daughter is nine, and they’re the best. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen their weird quotes and goofy pictures.
Today’s episode is about being self-aware.
Redefining Self-Awareness
In Elder Eyre’s talk, Know Who You Really Are, he reframes what it means to truly know ourselves. I’ve always cared a lot about self-awareness. I like understanding why I do things, what drives me, and what I can improve. But somewhere along the way, I started equating self-awareness with self-criticism.
I thought being self-aware meant knowing all the ways I fall short—where I mess up, what I need to fix, how I can do better. I’ve realized that’s not what God means by self-awareness at all. Being self-critical doesn’t make you self-aware. If that’s all you ever see, you’re missing the most important part—the divine truth behind who you are.
Elder Eyre said that Satan wants us to see ourselves as “sons and daughters of man,” defined by our flaws, fears, and the world’s labels. But God calls us “sons and daughters of God,” and that changes everything.
President Nelson taught, “First and foremost, you are a child of God, a child of the covenant, and a disciple of Jesus Christ.” That’s not just a nice reminder—it’s a correction. Too many of us remember the “I mess up” part and forget the “I’m divine” part.
If you only look in the mirror to find what’s wrong, you’ll miss what God is trying to show you: that you were built for something sacred.
Two Ways to Truly Know Who You Are
Elder Eyre gave two ways to start truly knowing who we are.
1. Deep Prayer.
Not the quick kind we say half-asleep or while rushing out the door, but the kind where we pause long enough to feel God’s perspective of us. This one is hard for me. I’m always on my phone, juggling multiple projects, basically doing everything I can to avoid stillness—because stillness is where God talks to me.
And honestly, I’m afraid of what I’ll hear. I fear I’ll be lectured and told I’m a disappointment. But that’s not how God speaks. There’s a huge difference between being called out to become more and being torn down. God’s correction feels full of hope and love; Satan’s voice just leaves you feeling worthless and beaten down.
I like to joke that Satan has his “favorites playlist” for each of us—and fear of stillness is definitely one of his favorites for me.
In his talk, Elder Eyre mentioned examples like Joseph Smith, Nephi, and Enos—people who prayed until their hearts changed. Their prayers weren’t about asking God to see them differently; they were about allowing themselves to see themselves differently.
That’s where most of my healing moments with God have come—not when I told Him how bad I felt, but when I stopped long enough to feel how He felt about me. When I let Him remind me that He’s not disappointed—He’s invested.
2. Know Jesus Christ Personally.
Elder Eyre pointed out a small but powerful change in the temple recommend question. It used to say, “Do you have a testimony of Jesus Christ as the Savior and Redeemer of the world?” Now it says, “Do you have a testimony of Jesus Christ as your Savior and your Redeemer?”
That one word—your—changes everything. It’s one thing to believe He saves people in general; it’s another to believe He saves you specifically. To believe He’s not just aware of your story, but actively rewriting it with grace—again and again.
When you start to see yourself through His eyes, you stop obsessing over your weaknesses and start recognizing your divine design. Your gifts, passions, and resilience aren’t random personality traits—they’re divine fingerprints.
What True Self-Awareness Looks Like
True self-awareness means seeing the full truth—who you are in mortality and who you are in eternity.
Sometimes we think humility means downplaying ourselves, as if acknowledging a gift is prideful. But that’s not how Heaven sees it.
In Alma 26, Ammon says: “I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but I will boast in my God, for in His strength I can do all things.”
That’s what it looks like to accept your gifts the right way. You’re not saying, “Look how amazing I am,” you’re saying, “Look what God built into me—and what He can do through me.”
True humility isn’t pretending you’re less than you are; it’s recognizing that everything you are is because of Him.
God doesn’t want us to ignore our weaknesses—He just doesn’t want us to build our entire identity around them. He doesn’t want us to confuse repentance with self-loathing, or let our inner critic speak louder than the Spirit.
Living It Out
So what does this look like in real life?
It might look like forgiving yourself a little faster.
It might look like believing you’re allowed to be both confident and Christlike.
It might look like using your strengths—your creativity, empathy, leadership, humor—as part of how you serve God, because that’s how He designed you.
This week, try changing one question in your prayers. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “What do You see in me that I’m not seeing yet?”
Sit still for a moment. You might be surprised at what He tells you.
Closing Reflections
When we understand who we really are—children of God with divine potential, disciples of Christ with real purpose—everything changes.
The way we see ourselves changes.
The way we treat others changes.
Even the way we handle failure changes.
Our mistakes don’t define us, and our strengths aren’t accidents. We are eternal beings with a God who knows exactly what we’re capable of.
Jesus Christ makes that kind of self-awareness possible—the kind rooted not in shame or pride, but in love and truth.
As someone who’s still learning this (and tends to intellectualize everything because, honestly, feelings can be rough), I’m grateful to be reminded how much God loves us—even when we don’t let ourselves feel it.
Elder Eyring once said, “The more we look for God, the more we see Him.” And He really does meet us where we are. When we struggle to feel His love, He often sends people and little miracles to remind us how loved we are.
I’m deeply grateful to be part of this church. It’s saved me in so many ways and helped me learn who I am—not through the lens of shame, but through the lens of being loved.
I hope we can all give ourselves the grace and real self-awareness to see who we truly are.
Thanks so much for listening, guys. I hope you have a great day.
