#29 - Jo Kathleen Marie on Breaking Free of Anxiety, Learning From Pain & Stepping into Your Greatness.

Thankyou for choosing to take time out of your day to tune in to this conscious conversation with me. 
 
 On this episode I caught up with my lovely friend and inspiring human, Jo Kathleen Marie. Jo is Founder & Director of Create Your Life Academy, Coach, Artist, Songwriter, Music Teacher, Creative Conscious Entrepreneur & Mental Wellbeing Advocate.
 
 We dive deep into topics including Jo’s impactful moments in life, overcoming anxiety, making your struggle your strength, uncovering masks and roles you have in your life, being ecological, taking little steps to build momentum, tapping into your purpose, stepping into your greatness, showing up as the person you want to be, meeting Tony Robbins and so much more! 
 
 I really admire how open and vulnerable Jo became in this conversation. We have been good friends for a while but I learnt so much about her from these impact questions. A really great episode for anyone. 
 
 I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too! 
 
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone. I'm Jay Kathleen Murray and you're listening to the conscious book cost,

Speaker 2: 0:17

the conscious part. My name is college to reload and this is your place to cultivate wisdom wearness life insights to raise your B and become more conscious in your daily life.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Hey, conscious fam. Welcome to the 29th episode of the conscious podcast. Thank you so much for choosing to take time out of your day to tune into this conscious conversation with me on this episode I caught up with my lovely friend and inspiring human Joe, Kathleen Marie Jo is founder and director of Create Your Life Academy coach, artist songwriter, music teacher, creative conscious entrepreneur and mental wellbeing advocate. We dive deep into topics including Joe's impactful moments in life, overcoming anxiety, making your struggle, your strength, uncovering masks and roles you have in your life, being ecological, taking little steps to build momentum, tapping into your purpose, stepping into your greatness, showing up as the person you want to be. Meeting Tony Robbins and so much more. I really admire how open and vulnerable Joe became in this conversation. We've been good friends for a while, but I learned so much about her from these impactful questions and the answers that she gave a really great episode for anyone. I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too. Joe, how are you? Lovely.

Speaker 3: 1:50

Doing well, thanks. Color. How are you?

Speaker 1: 1:51

That's awesome. I am really good. Thank you. What have you been up to today?

Speaker 3: 1:55

Just Spain. Um, having a day to do some yoga, meditation and reset for the week ahead.

Speaker 1: 2:02

Nice. And that meditation, this is an interesting one that I ask everyone that says meditation because it's always different. How do you meditate? Is it a guided meditation? Is it just you sitting in a room with candles, legs crossed?

Speaker 3: 2:18

At the moment it's guided meditation by one giant mind. I'm just loving the meditations they have and yeah.

Speaker 1: 2:28

Awesome. How long does it go for? 15 minutes. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's something that everyone could do every morning. Definitely part of the morning ritual. Morning routines. Powerful. So what are you most excited about in life right now?

Speaker 3: 2:44

Most excited about? Good question. I think having amazing friendships in my inner circle and getting to connect with people and travel at the moment with how sitting, experiencing these different new locations and also the work I do is pretty exciting. Getting to connect with clients and just help support them in being the best versions of themselves and learning as I go.

Speaker 1: 3:13

Awesome. Now I know a lot about that because we've been friends for awhile, but I'm exploring this house sitting because you basically live a nomad sort of lifestyle and you can kind of live wherever you want. Is that right?

Speaker 3: 3:27

I've been living out of the suitcase for probably a year and a half now. How sitting across Victoria in Melbourne or Jura, which is why I'm back here at the moment and it's pretty cool. I guess the take care of people's cats and dogs and all the while setting up this business and he's taking my laptop with me.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Yeah. The benefits of uh, running your own business and being able to work from your laptop. Yes. As long as it's strong Wifi. Yeah, Wifi is pretty good. And like I said, we're, we've known each other for ages. Um, I think we just went through our Facebook a one year anniversary or something like that. Friendship Anniversary. Um, I kind of remember how has it been a year. And we actually met on Instagram again from the past few conversation, possibly podcast episodes, a meeting, everyone through Instagram. It's great guys use it for the right reasons. And we met, I actually was looking up I hashtag or something like that and ended up coming up in, I think it was the Hashtag was school of greatness, Lewis Howes, who we both love. And I seen you at the gym or more Jura and I'm going, oh my God, someone and we'll listens to Lewis Howes. Great. And then we connected through that and then um, we caught up, we hit it off. We've been friends ever since. And I know a bit about your story or a lot about your story and who you are and what you do. But for the listeners that don't know you, can you give us a wrap up of your life from start to now?

Speaker 3: 5:02

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1: 5:04

Gus.

Speaker 3: 5:08

Yeah. So I was born in Melbourne and then we moved south to merge your ass. And I spent most of my life in more Jira. And for me, reflecting back on childhood, I'd actually lost my mom when I was a very little girl I suppose. And I spent a lot of primary school just being a bit unsure about how to work through a lot of those emotions and what had happened because it wasn't very common for people to talk about that kind of stuff. And when I got to high school, actually started learning guitar and how to play music and it became this outlet for me to express and share what I was feeling and also start to connecting with things I was really passionate about. Like, um, bringing awareness to the environment. And the first one that actually wrote and recorded was on this little cassette tape back in the day he record and it records like on the tape and it was about, um, community through the eyes of young people and how we can be changemakers even there. I was like 13 years old at the time. I had this vision that, you know what, we need to get this message out there so we can start to connect with people to actually do something about, you know, the river, the drought, polluting the environment. So I went and write this song and pops in, pops it in an envelope hand, write the lyrics and sends it off into this competition and didn't really think too much of it. And I found out about a month later that I had won the competition and the bit like, Whoa, that's the first time. Yeah. In my work had been recognized in that way and I thought, okay, this is kind of cool. And then it ended up getting shortlisted in the top 10 for national youth week as well. Yeah. So I was like, Whoa, okay. Yeah. Um, and I've got to share that message, like over ABC radio and through the media. And I thought, wow, this is, this is incredible. Going from being too scared to speak up and talk about this kind of stuff, to suddenly having all this exposure is quite a big leap. And it was also a major milestone in my life to go cool. Creating is this amazing way to connect with people and contribute something back. So I spent, I guess the next 16 years or so working in the music industry and creating and ended up moving to Melbourne and studied music. So I was actually a serial students. Like I studied so much, um, I did an advanced supply room music. There's foreman. Yeah, I geeked out. I kicked out. Um, yeah. So I studied events to play your music performance, bachelor music industry, Postgrad in creative industries and business management. I just kept going and going. And in all honesty, I haven't stopped. But the big thing around that was as much as I studied, there still felt that there was something missing. And I wasn't fully living my purpose at the time. So I'd started this business after freelancing in the music industry and doing like artist management and working at events, doing publicity promotion, and I felt that I wanted to do more and that there was so much more I could be doing with my life and helping others. And it wasn't until my early twenties I'd ended up heating a bit of a rock bottom from not really dealing with what had happened with mom in the past and understanding how to work through anxiety, how to work through depression. So I'd hit this point where it was like completely debilitated by anxiety. It had all caught up and I remember just being like, Whoa, like this is really intense. I don't know how to get out of this position. And I had to quit. My job was teaching music at the time, couldn't leave the house and I dropped down to about 36 kilos as well. So I was like, Whoa, this is actually so heavy and I don't know what to do with this. And I remember waking up one day and I watched this video by Lexi Panoz and she'd said, in it, pain can be your greatest teacher if you allow it to be. And it was such a turning point because I was at this crossroads where I was like, give up or find a way to take this and actually learn from it and start to learn all about anxiety. The brain, how to, how to rewire the brain's response to trauma. Sorry, I started geeking out again, which is what I'd been doing in past and learning all about it. And um, I thought, you know what? I'm going to make this a project. And the vision behind it was if I can actually get myself out of this, I might be able to help someone else one day who's feeling so alone in their experience and has no idea what to do like I've been feeling. So that started to become my driving force to be like, yeah, let's do this. Let's take this first step. And that first step was just getting up going and making a cup of tea for myself and taking it out on the porch, sitting down, drinking the tea. And I share this because it was tiny. It was such a small step. And the message behind that is that small steps really do build momentum and that one moment actually spilled across into where I am now and all these tiny little steps later, I'm actually running two businesses, writing music and coaching people on this now and helping them break free of anxiety and really step into their greatness and their full potential. And it's just amazing that that yeah, that I've gotten to this place. Wow.

Speaker 1: 11:31

And we're talking about this before we switched on the mix and it was saying that your mess is your message and from what you're saying, it sounds like you've had your mess. Yes. You're beautiful mess and you've been able to work through that and understand it and now you can then use that to relate to other people and help them through that process. Is that right? Definitely.

Speaker 3: 11:52

Definitely. Kenya struggle into strength.

Speaker 1: 11:55

Yeah. Another good one. So for someone in that position, sorry, I just want to stay on this for a little bits. For someone in that position of having um, you know, the anxiety, the depression, those sorts of feelings and emotions that's happening to them and maybe they do feel in the same position or similar position of being stuck, where, where do you say you would tell them to look to or to what to do the first kind of initial step. Is it understanding that you've got it or accepting that you've got that, but where would you go from there?

Speaker 3: 12:29

Yeah, it's definitely, um, so reach out. The first thing I did was actually contacts either beyond blue or headspace or there are organizations in Victoria with atavistic where you can actually go to support groups and connect in. And that is such an important pillar to have connection. And whether it's just telling someone in your family or telling a close friend, just connecting with someone. And then the other things that is also owning the emotion. So whatever is actually coming up for you instead of resisting it and trying to sort of push it down. If you can imagine like a tennis ball and you pushing it down underwater, you're just creating more and more resistance rather than just letting it go and it can float up to the surface and acknowledge it and validate it. And the quicker we do that, the sooner it will just move through the body and not get trapped in there and manifest into anxiety and depression. So putting a name to it is really, really important and really healthy emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1: 13:37

So from that I'm getting that people should accept it. Like you were saying, like acknowledge that it's there, but then the first thing to do is then reach out. Don't, don't try and deal with it yourself because you might just keep pushing it under water. Go and talk to someone because there is people that know how to help you on the steps to get better. Definitely. Yup. Excellent. So in the work that you do now, um, the coaching and that sort of stuff, how did that come about? Cause I know a few of the stories of meeting the amazing Alexi and Preston, but yeah. How did that come about? Like, how did you, you watch that video, how'd you then step into coaching?

Speaker 3: 14:16

Yes, sorry. That journey, um, in 2017 the salary 2017 I went to see Preston smiles and Alexi panels at the bridge experience and it was my first experience of a personal development workshop. And I remember being in that room and going in with absolutely no idea what my purpose was, what my, um, what I do at the time I was still teaching music and I left that space with such certainty that I would follow through and actually go and it'd be a coach and help people and I don't know, um, yeah, what happened from there? I'm just thinking as well, it was pretty aligned actually. So after that workshop, I remember being on Facebook as well and this ad popped up for coaching. I thought, I'm just going to try this out. And I clicked on it, went to this workshop for coaching and thought, wow. Like I feel that this is what I'm meant to be doing with my life and had no intention of signing up on that day. And actually this is a story not many people know, but, um, I went home and I've got a call a couple of days later and they were like, congratulations, you're in the program. I was like, wait, what? Oh, I didn't sign up. They're like, no year in. And I'm like, what? What's happened? And I asked them and they're like, we're not meant to tell you this, but someone's actually sponsored you to do this program. Um, and they think you're going to make a pretty big impact on a lot of people. And I had no idea at the time who this person was. And I found out a bit later that it was a really good friend of mine. Now he's left for the UK the day after and he was like, Yup, this is what you're going to be doing. So he actually bought me that course and it completely changed my life. So he paid that forward for me to be able to pay forward and help other people.

Speaker 1: 16:28

Wow. What an impactful moment. Yes. Something so again, impactful to do for someone as well. So that kind of helped you in jumping in and doing it and getting started. Yes. Yeah,

Speaker 3: 16:42

yeah. Just someone believing in me and it's crazy actually.

Speaker 1: 16:47

That's so cool. And through that journey, obviously you've worked with Preston and Alexi, but also we're talking about this today. You've actually met Tony Robbins. Yeah. Tell us about that story. The

Speaker 3: 16:58

Tony Robbins story. Yeah, so this is in Melbourne as well. When he came over for the national achievers Congress and went to the event on day one. And I remember telling my friends that I have this really weird feeling that I was actually going to speak with him. I'm like, I don't remember what this feeling is, but I just feel that something's going to happen this weekend. And Day two came along and everyone was running into the room to get the front seats and they'd all filled up and I went to sit down and these girls will ask her, we actually need to use your seat. There's someone else coming along. So I thought was okay, we'll just move somewhere else. And we went up the back and sat down. So Tony comes on and amazing by the way, his energy that he brings, just got everyone's psyched and starts walking down the aisle and he turns and he walks down our aisle and he stands in front of me and I'm like, are you serious? This is intense. Um, and as the event went on as well, um, he actually called me out at the crowd to stand up because he had asked the audience, who has the most expensive handbag in the, in the room, and there's a whole bunch of people waving their hands, like maybe, um, then he goes, who has the waste expensive handbag? And, um, I've actually gone and sort of put my handbag bag above my head is worked up. Um, he's like, how much is, he goes, I'm like,$10. Um, so yeah, I got to have a conversation with him. Have a bit of a dance as you do. I'm a bit of a laugh as well, and he's set this pretty profound statement and he goes, um, people don't buy things. They buy identities. And this girl here has bought the identity of an achiever. And I thought, oh my God, Tony Robbins just said that. That's crazy.

Speaker 1: 19:01

What an experience in life. That would have been crazy. Yeah. It's so awesome. Something you'll always remember to oh, definitely. And that was only, it was that, that was after or before the coaching experience of, uh, with Alexi and Preston. That was after, after. Okay. So it's been a flow afterwards. Slowing. Definitely. Amazing. So what's one big profound realization you've had this year?

Speaker 3: 19:30

The bridges theory. So this one's more for business, but building one bridge at a time rather than going in and trying to build 10 of them. And by this I mean, you know, starting a coaching business, starting in music business. So maybe I can go overseas, maybe I can do this and just getting, so like big picture thinking with things. Um, I've learned pretty quickly that it's more effective to pull back and just put your energy into like building one bridge at a time, get that, get that going then, then another one. So that's probably been a big loan for business. Um, and just personally for me as well, knowing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to and it just coming from that space of believing in yourself and she's going after it. And that's been a pretty big one for me as well.

Speaker 1: 20:27

Amazing. Now going back to what we were saying before, because I had this in my head and I just reminded me of it. Um, would you say you are living your purpose right now with doing the coaching and helping people through your message, inspiring them and helping them with information and coaching on how to get through their mess and let that be their message? Would you say you're living your purpose?

Speaker 3: 20:51

Definitely. Yeah, definitely. Um, and that could change how that looks on the outside with what I'm doing. But as long as you're aligned with your values and your, what you're passionate about, I think that is always really living your purpose, helping others and connecting and contributing. So definitely, yes.

Speaker 1: 21:13

Love that. And I love that you've created a business or becoming a coach and coaching on the things that have helped you. And it always brings me back to a seminar I went to, I can't remember who it was. It might've been Ben Harvey that it was, it was a coaching event and he was saying that anyone, there's lots of people out there that are willing to pay you for the information you have. Even better if it's something you love and you're passionate about and you've, you've got that experience. They want to know the steps on how you got from, I'm in this situation, how to get out of it. And that's what brings it back to coaching. And that's where I see with your message and what you do, how valuable that is to so many people out there that have anxiety, that have depression or in that, um, I guess experience and wanting to get out of it. And I think it's incredible. Like, did you ever think you'd be a coach and be helping people through that experience?

Speaker 3: 22:09

Hard. Definitely. It wasn't something that I thought I'd ever base fee honest and perhaps though some limiting beliefs around that at one point going, Ooh, I don't know if I can stand in front of people and talk or do this. But um, it's amazing to think even what Simon Sinek says about people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. And when you connect him with that, why it's like your true north and you really can't go wrong.

Speaker 1: 22:38

[inaudible] I agree. What is success to you?

Speaker 4: 22:44

Hmm.

Speaker 3: 22:45

Success to me is being a ecological, so doing something that's good for you, that's good for others and good for the greater good and tapping into your purpose and making a difference in the world.

Speaker 4: 23:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 23:04

Awesome. There's a Spanish court, but I'm going to get my Spanish wrong so I'm not going to say it, but it means for the good of all and yeah, that kind of sums up that one as well. Ecological, was it ecological? Ecological. I like it. What are you most proud of in your life? Really most proud of

Speaker 3: 23:22

at the end of every coaching call I have with my clients, I always ask them to acknowledge themselves to something that has happened for them on the call or something that they're proud of and getting to hear that at the end of a session and hearing what they've achieved and what they're proud of in themselves. I guess I'm just so happy and actually it's actually pretty overwhelming cause I had a cold call yesterday and I got a text from a text from one of my clients and she's like, thank you so much for helping me see the real me and reminded me of that. And I thought, wow, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing and I'm so, so grateful that I've, I said yes to me all those years ago and chose to follow this path because I get to look back and go, wow, I'm in the right place. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:24

And doing amazing things and impacting lives in such a powerful way. Yeah. So good. I can see it vibing off you right now. It's authentic. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you and how is that the best thing that has ever happened to you?

Speaker 3: 24:42

Losing mom? Losing a parent in general is just one of the hardest things I've personally experienced. And I imagine anyone else out there who has experienced this. Um, it was definitely something I've struggled with most of my life into learning how to become more aware of my emotions and how to process that and how to release it and take that experience and actually turn it into something that could help another and honoring her memory as well. And when I think back on it, I always ask myself, I always ask myself what would have helped her? Like what would she have needed to hear in that moment that could have helped. And then as I'm creating these programs for, for clients and for people, I'm always coming from that space of just love and contribution to give and be present to those people. And we never know like one small thing, one one whether it's something we say to someone or something we do could save a life for, it could change the trajectory of where they're going to go with their life as well. And tapping into that as my big why has been like the driving force behind everything I do and yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:19

Well it reminds me of a quote, what you said just then a friend put up on Instagram and it was, you never know what people have to go home to. So be very, uh, I guess careful and conscious of what you say and how you treat people because you never know what's going on in the background and like no one would know that about you and for you to be able to come from a place of, you know, these people, they've been open and vulnerable with you on a coaching call,

Speaker 3: 26:48

your coming from a place of I want to give you everything I can to be able to help you, even if it's just listening to you when you want to open up giving spaces, think that's what you hold space. Yeah. Space. Yeah. Yup. And just validating them. And I think that's been one of the biggest things I've learned is the power of validation because a lot of um, society were told to either dismiss something or try safe people from what they're experiencing, which teaches people that it's not okay to be feeling how I'm feeling. There must be something wrong with me rather than just validating them and holding space and listening to them. It's, sorry. So powerful. Yeah. So as a coach, do you give people the answers or do you guide people to the answers? The second part guide painful, painful to remember and tap into their potential and their greatness because they always have the answers. We're just there to facilitate and reminder. Remind them of that. Guess what? Why do you think, I guess people can be so closed off to receiving help from a coach. It could be a number of things. One thing could be being afraid to be vulnerable. And this could come from how they've grown up in the past or when they've opened up as a child that hasn't been validated for instance, or it hasn't been received well. So they've learnt from back then that it's not okay to express how they're feeling or whatever it is they're going through. So they put the wall up and I think we were talking a bit about this before as well, how Louis Houses' written a book about the mosques, the mask of masculinity. And there's a number of different mosques and identities or roles that we play that we pick up in childhood that I used to keep us safe because of what's happens in our experience. And we get older and we forget that we're doing that cause it's so subconscious and yeah, I'll totally forgot. I've got off on a tangent. I love tangents. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:09

For me personally, my experience was, uh, whenever I heard of life coach or someone that coaches you, ah, I always thought of a PT. And at the same time, my ego always stepped up and was like, I don't, I don't need anyone to help me. I don't need help. Like I'm fine. I'm, I can go in the gym, I know what I'm doing. But reality is I didn't know what I was doing. I was just flapping around with some whites thinking I was gonna get results, but it wasn't happening. And even in my life it was like, I don't think I need her life coach. Like I'm, I'm fine. Like I don't have anxiety, I don't have, um, you no direction in life. Although I had too much direction on multiple things. So there was no structure to what I was doing. And then since I found a coach and really aligned with her and then had her kind of piece some things together and again, facilitate, um, guidance in my life and not give me the answers, but help me in creating, you know, obviously my vision, um, and what I want to do and what I'm passionate about, but then also go back and unblock, unblock those blocks that I've had from childhood. It's been so beneficial because I was like you were saying, I opened up and became vulnerable and shared what I was feeling. It wasn't like, Oh, I'm a man. I don't share my feelings. I don't cry, I don't, I don't need help. Men are fix it beings. We want to fix things like, oh, something's broken. I'll fix it cause I'm a man. It's like, yes, okay, but why, why you doing it? That's for the validation of certain things around that and I found so many benefits of having a coach. Now, do you have a coach?

Speaker 3: 30:47

I do have couple of crutches. So as you know, Louis houses more of a mentor slash coach for me when it comes to business, I'm in his inner circle. I've done school of Greatness Academy. Then I've got a coach who also coaches me in business as well and he's so direct and I need that because with me, I'm like, okay, I have all these ideas and I can do this, I can do this. And he's like, all right, bring it back in. He goes, these are your, these are your actionables. Go out and do x, y, zed, and he's very direct in that sense. And then for personal development, um, I reached out as well too to some friends where we do peer coaching and we actually dive so deep into some of this stuff. And this is more Alexi panels, Preston smiles type work where we're actually connecting back in with ourselves releasing those blocks and it all just weaves in so well. So it's really important to have a coach as a coach as well. Yeah,

Speaker 1: 31:52

I think there's just so many benefits and for someone that was so closed off to it because of whatever reasons, ego and all that sort of stuff, it was, now I'm like, I always recommend it. It's like, yes, coaching is so beneficial to your life in so many different ways.

Speaker 3: 32:06

Definitely.

Speaker 1: 32:08

What is the best advice you've ever been given?

Speaker 3: 32:11

The best advice I've ever been given this, a few of them, but the one that comes to mind is from Matt Kahn. And I remember watching this video on it and he said, become the person that would inspire you most. And that was the first time I've ever thought of it in that context where it's not about comparing yourself other people, which can be, sometimes it can drive you all the times. It can make you feel like you're not really measuring up to that standard and suddenly it's like, okay, it's about me and becoming the person, the best version of myself and being the hero of my own story. And I think that is so, so powerful and everyone, everyone on this in the world can relate to that. If we just go on our own journey, that's what makes it exciting.

Speaker 1: 33:14

What advice would you give your 16 year old self

Speaker 3: 33:19

to trust in herself and back herself and know that she's enough and she's the only person that she needs to be enough for?

Speaker 1: 33:32

How do you think people can become more fulfilled in life?

Speaker 3: 33:41

Good question. I think as we were saying earlier, getting a coach or even exploring those parts of yourself by the coming more self aware and diving into some of these things that can be a bit vulnerable. We learn so much about ourselves and one of the principles I live, my life buys be a student of life and learn. So grow through what you go through. Everything is here to teach you something and it can be an experience, it can be a mentor, it can be a course if you come from this space of just learning and growing and then teaching that to someone else as well. It's amazing what you can learn and it really sticks with you.

Speaker 1: 34:36

Hmm. I love that. Grow through what you go through. What is a big problem you think needs to be talked about more in society,

Speaker 3: 34:46

mental health and although there is conversation around mental health and creating awareness, the part of this that I feel needs more, more work is mental health optimization. So actually sharing and educating people on emotional and social intelligence so they can learn more about themselves and learn how to process emotions. And it's definitely something that doesn't get taught in schools yet. It's something we live every single day. And learning how to process your emotions effectively, um, could really help lower those statistics, especially from childhood. If we equip kids with these tools and strategies, I'm visualizing that that 2 million people in Australia every year, uh, suffering from anxiety, 1 million are suffering from depression and these are just recorded from people who've gone to doctors. And even in my industry with music, 50% about us, which is just such a huge chunk of people and we're just seeing that we're talking about this stuff when it comes up, like someone's committed suicide that's um, that's famous in the media and they'll talk about it, but then it kind of like fades off and it's definitely something I'm so, so passionate about to get that awareness out and just provide that. Trying to think of how to word this, that solution, a solution to the problem. Definitely optimize like, yeah,

Speaker 1: 36:35

sorry. I can definitely say that in your work too. And my next question was going to be like, where do you start? Like does it start from kids that awareness and bringing that education in?

Speaker 3: 36:48

You can start at any time. Ideally. I love developing this stuff to take into schools, to work with kids. However, I didn't start my journey with this until I was in my early twenties and there are people who start this in their thirties forties and just start where you are and go from there.

Speaker 1: 37:10

So it's never too late to ask for help. You're never too old to receive help and start that journey.

Speaker 3: 37:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:21

If this was the last time you seen me and I asked you to teach me something tangible I can use every day in my life to improve my life, what would you teach me?

Speaker 3: 37:30

What would I teach you? I teach you about internal versus external goals and what external goals are. Uh, what we see people setting in terms of relationship, career success, um, what else? Even learning more like more growth, more personal development. However, this is all external to us and what a lot of people don't do is set internal goals and internal goals are based on the triad of self esteem, which is knowing that we are enough, knowing that we are lovable and knowing that we are worthy and in the center of that, that we can handle anything. And knowing this model, when we have procrastination Chaterjee as some of mystique and any limiting beliefs or self sabotage patterns that happen, it can really affect how our external goals are you coming into our lives and going in and doing the work internally can actually influence those external goals positively. So a way you can kind of work through that. And anyone listening on the call, sorry, anyone listening on the podcast can can write this down, but writing a on a blank bit of paper, all the limiting beliefs. So anything that is stopping you from achieving your goals, achieving those external goals. Just go on a big mind dump and write out those limiting beliefs. And when you finished, you can scrunch up the bit of paper, you can burn it, you can get rid of it. But what you're doing is bringing awareness to what that is. And then fresh piece of paper, write down beliefs that will support you in achieving what you do want to achieve. And that's coming from that internal space way. You know that you're worthy. You know that you're enough and you know that you're lovable and that you can handle it.

Speaker 1: 39:35

Wow, that is so good. I hope everyone's got a pen and paper and click the 15 second. Rewind on that and go back and listen to that again a couple of times because that's some great information and analogy came to my head. It was like, I don't know if this is gonna make sense, but if you, let's say you're a car and you've got the computer system in the car, which runs everything, computer systems down, you won't start the engine. Nothing. And if you're focusing on, let's say the engine or the exterior, putting new paint on, putting flames on the side or changing the changing the spoiler. Um, well I don't know what other things people put on cars, but adding all these external things onto the car, it's not going to do anything unless you fixed that internal system that runs everything. And I think I've noticed it so much, whether it's on social media or whether it's with friends, family, myself, is that the inside, the internal view, mine, soul, all that is the starting point is the core of everything. If you, let's say you do yoga every day, you drink alkaline water, you eat nothing but green, you'll have nothing but green smoothies every day. These are all great things, don't get me wrong, but if you're not doing that internal work and fix the internal, then those things aren't going to have their full effect. Yup. That's exactly it. Yeah. So we need to focus on the internal. Exactly. And those, what was that triangle you said again? Try it of self esteem. Yup. And what were those again? I've yeah, no so much filling my brain here.

Speaker 3: 41:22

Knowing that you are enough, knowing that you are worthy and knowing that you are lovable and it's not that you are loved, it's that you are lovable. To be able to accept that love and also be able to give as well.

Speaker 1: 41:36

That's powerful in language too because straight away I thought it was loved. But being lovable is a different, it changes it up completely. Okay, so how can people tap into that triangle? A question

Speaker 3: 41:53

my clients for a bit of home play is to ask themselves as they go about their day. If I knew that I was enough or lovable or worthy, how would I treat myself? Or how would I show up right now and sit with it and see what comes up. Because you're tapping into your internal world by already knowing that you are that. So how, how would you show up? How would you respond?

Speaker 1: 42:20

Yeah, like you were saying before, like become the hero of your story, that you stepping into that and being that which you can do tomorrow you can do today. You can do right now, see you knowing what it is and then you doing it. Like what would, what would that person do? How would they feel? Um, any other things, what would they, what would they say? All those things. I think it's everything. Everything together. What is most meaningful to you in life right now?

Speaker 3: 42:53

The people in my life and is having amazing conscious, connected friendships that are there more than friendships. They're like family and jumping on a zoom call with people around the world. Um, you know, jump on a call every, every week with someone from California. If we someone from Switzerland. And we've just built up this amazing connection where we're sharing our wins and our challenges. And it's such an amazing supportive and nurturing environment and seeing everyone's progress as well is phenomenal. And this isn't limited to that. It's pretty much everyone in my life and the clients that I work with. And it's what gives my Gig, my life gives my laugh the most meaning cause it's connection and contribution and yeah, it's all encompassing.

Speaker 1: 43:52

Yeah. It all comes together. Uh, what does it mean to be conscious? What does it mean to be conscious? This is the big question I gotta think about this one.

Speaker 3: 44:06

So to me what it means to be conscious is to be self aware. Like having that awareness of self and then having that awareness of others as well. And there's this interconnectedness when you've got that, cause you understand that we're all interconnected. And then coming from a space where you are radically responsible for yourself and knowing that you always have a choice and events can happen in our lives. However, we can always choose how we respond to those events and that will ultimately determine our outcome. And I really do believe that's the core of being conscious. And from that space we can come from compassion and love and give to others and pay it forward and actually make an impact by sharing that out. And then that person can share it out and then that person can share it out to someone else. So yeah,

Speaker 1: 45:05

I love that answer. So what is the impact you want to have on people? The community in the world?

Speaker 3: 45:13

I think I just started going into that. Yeah. Raising human consciousness and reminding people of their greatness and their potential and how awesome they are. And doing that by, I guess if you imagine creating a ripple, it can really create a wave because when you share that with one person, again like that can just go so far. And looking at that, um, the statistics we talked about earlier, what a better way to lower those statistics by actually starting there and it doesn't need to be something big. You don't need to have like$1 million to go do this, just start pay something forward and he just never know where it can go.

Speaker 1: 46:00

And it could all begin from just holding space for someone to have a conversation. Exactly. Are you okay? Just was the other day asking people and being there for support. Yeah. Awesome. Where can people see more of your stuff and follow you and get involved if they want to reach out,

Speaker 3: 46:21

sir, I'm on Instagram as Joe Kathleen Marie and also create your life academy and they can find me on Facebook as well. Cherry, Kathleen Marie Create Laugh Academy and Music is up on Spotify and soundcloud and all those platforms as well.

Speaker 1: 46:39

Amazing. Love it. Well, I just want to say thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable and for sharing so much with me. Um, I want to acknowledge you for being the amazing human that you are and for doing so much working so much on yourself so that you're able to again ha make your mess, your message, but inspire and impact so many people and even from your answers of how you want to impact the community and the world, um, what's most meaningful to you, what your purpose is. I love all those aspects of you and I think that's why we connected really well from day one. And I love hanging out with you and hearing that because you also inspire me and you've helped me through so many things when putting your coaching hat on, probably unintentionally, but, but you do anyway. So it's always such a great time when I'm with you. And Yeah, thank you so much for the conversation. It was amazing.

Speaker 3: 47:36

This is so amazing. Thank you so much color you for having me and acknowledging you as well for being amazing to talk to and getting to connecting with you.

Speaker 1: 47:46

I love it. Thank you so much. So everyone makes sure you reach out. If you do love this conversation or you loved a part of this conversation, reach out to Joe. Reach out to me, screenshot this, put on Instagram. We love to see that. Um, and even just reach out and say thank you. Um, it would mean the world to us to know that you actually getting value from this and until next time, take care everyone.

Speaker 5: 48:09

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen in on our conversation. Hopefully he got some insights and values to raise your awareness. If you like the podcast, please like share on social media and leave a review on whatever plan going on. I would really appreciate it. You can also keep up to date on our Facebook and Instagram pages are both handles are at the conscious podcast and also my personal account, which is at Carlow underscore Cirilo. Until next time, take care and be nice.