Embark on a quest to unearth the essence of a spiritually fulfilling union as we traverse the landscape of modern courtship through the lens of divine wisdom. Today's episode is a compass for the God-fearing soul, illuminating the path to a partner who emanates the virtues extolled in Proverbs 31. We unravel the intricate tapestry of relationships, guided by scripture and the penetrating insights of Brother William Branham, to anchor your search for love in the bedrock of faith. Brace yourself for a conversation that elevates character above charm, and godliness over fleeting beauty, shaping your perspective on what it truly means to find 'the one' in accordance with God's grand design.
As you join our community in honoring the sacred covenant of marriage, you'll be privy to the contrasting narratives of love woven through the pages of history and the chapters of the Bible. From Samson's dalliances to Abraham's servant's quest for a wife for Isaac, we meticulously dissect these stories and draw parallels to the seismic cultural shifts that have shaped courtship and dating post-World War II. This episode is not merely a history lesson but a clarion call to restore reverence for parental authority and divine guidance in the most critical decision of your life.
Concluding our spiritual sojourn, we cast a spotlight on the father's pivotal role in his daughter's matrimonial choices, examining the biblical standards that govern family authority and the sanctity of vows. This is a profound dialogue that challenges the status quo of casual dating, advocating instead for a return to a God-centered approach where courtship is intentional, pure, and under the watchful eyes of those who tread the path before us. Through the wisdom shared today, may your heart find the courage to seek out a partnership that not only fulfills earthly desires but also aligns with the eternal tapestry of God's master plan.
Support podcast for $3 to $10 per month: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1466707/support
Website: https://jasondemars.com
Embark on a quest to unearth the essence of a spiritually fulfilling union as we traverse the landscape of modern courtship through the lens of divine wisdom. Today's episode is a compass for the God-fearing soul, illuminating the path to a partner who emanates the virtues extolled in Proverbs 31. We unravel the intricate tapestry of relationships, guided by scripture and the penetrating insights of Brother William Branham, to anchor your search for love in the bedrock of faith. Brace yourself for a conversation that elevates character above charm, and godliness over fleeting beauty, shaping your perspective on what it truly means to find 'the one' in accordance with God's grand design.
As you join our community in honoring the sacred covenant of marriage, you'll be privy to the contrasting narratives of love woven through the pages of history and the chapters of the Bible. From Samson's dalliances to Abraham's servant's quest for a wife for Isaac, we meticulously dissect these stories and draw parallels to the seismic cultural shifts that have shaped courtship and dating post-World War II. This episode is not merely a history lesson but a clarion call to restore reverence for parental authority and divine guidance in the most critical decision of your life.
Concluding our spiritual sojourn, we cast a spotlight on the father's pivotal role in his daughter's matrimonial choices, examining the biblical standards that govern family authority and the sanctity of vows. This is a profound dialogue that challenges the status quo of casual dating, advocating instead for a return to a God-centered approach where courtship is intentional, pure, and under the watchful eyes of those who tread the path before us. Through the wisdom shared today, may your heart find the courage to seek out a partnership that not only fulfills earthly desires but also aligns with the eternal tapestry of God's master plan.
Support podcast for $3 to $10 per month: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1466707/support
Website: https://jasondemars.com
Proverbs 31.10. Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies? Proverbs 31.30. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Psalms 12.1-3. Help Lord, for the godly man's ceaseth for the faithful fail from among the children of men. They speak vanity, every one with his neighbor with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak. The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips and the tongue that speaketh proud things.
Speaker 1:In today's day and age, finding the love of your life has never been more difficult. Even though we're living in a situation where you have access to dating apps and social media, you don't even have to leave your home and you can find someone that you're infatuated with. But, as a Christian, finding God's person for you has never been more difficult. We're living in an evil age, corrupted by years and years and years of feminism and anti-Christian rhetoric. But God has a program. God has a system in his Bible to help us to find the love of our lives, the person that we will spend our lives with, that we'll share our home with, share our bed with, and that many of our dreams will come true through this relationship. Let's go into the scriptures and into the message of the hour and see what God has to say about biblical courtship. Greetings Bible believers and followers of the End Time Message.
Speaker 1:Welcome to another episode of the Jason DeMars podcast, the place where we explore the incredible mysteries hidden within the pages of the Bible. I'm your host, jason DeMars. It's time to get started on another journey into the heart of God's Word. If it's your desire to grow in Revelation and see the message in the light of the Bible, you're in the right place. Today, brothers and sisters, we delve into the scripture, guided by the extraordinary revelations that God chose to unveil through Brother William Marian Brannum, a messenger with a unique calling to fulfill Malachi 4 and Revelation 10.7 and unlock the secrets of the End Time Message. Our purpose isn't to have another basic Bible study. We're going to dig deep and peel back the layers of prophecy, decoding the signs and perhaps discovering how the Bible resonates within the very fabric of our present day and time.
Speaker 1:In this podcast, my purpose is to help you grow in your faith through solid Bible teaching through the lens of the message of Malachi 4. So grab your Bible, a cup of coffee and let's get started, and remember that your feedback, testimonies, questions and prayer requests are always welcome. Please send them on social media or at JasonDeMarscom. Before we go into today's episode, I want to share something with you. Head over to JasonDeMarscom, where I'm giving away free books. These books have been ordered by believers around the world and many testimonies have been given about the great blessing they have been. I also want you to know that, by God's grace and provision, we are also covering the shipping costs. Free books and free shipping. My purpose is not to sell books, but to proclaim the message of the hour free of charge. I've written these books to build your faith, increase your spiritual revelation and be a witness for God's message in the end time. Here's a list of a few of them A summary of the Revelation of the Seven Seals, the end time message handbook, the mystery of the Malachi for Elijah, holiness to the Lord and foundations. Head over to JasonDeMarscom right now and claim your free books.
Speaker 1:With that said, let's get into today's podcast. I'm going to be starting a new podcast that will be for the people that subscribe. As a thank you to them that are supporting this podcast on a monthly basis. To start with, I'm going to be going through my book the end time message handbook. I'll be reading through that, through all the chapters there. Once the end of the year comes. I'll put that together into an audible audiobook, which I'm looking forward to as well. My chair is going down so I'm going to bring it up, excuse me. That'll be available in the coming weeks and it'll be released on a weekly basis. I'm changing the schedule as well to make it a little bit easier for me planning out the year and travel. I'll be doing this. The public podcast I'll be releasing every other week this Friday, then it'll be off and then the next Friday. Most of my topics chose out for the year, so it's just a matter of studying and going through it. We're entering into production.
Speaker 1:I just also released two new books. I don't have them in my hands yet, but my initial order has been placed to get them. One that's coming out, I think, on February 19th, is the Mystery of the Godhead, revealing why the Trinity of Persons is false. Then the other book that's coming out is Introducing the Message Christ has sent to His bride. Let's see, water baptism will be introduced there. The Godhead, the scripture, is fulfilled by the message. Modesty and serpency will all be in this tract. All right, let's get to it.
Speaker 1:You heard what I was talking about in the cold open, the scriptures that I read, and truly it's difficult to find a virtuous woman. Everything in society is against that, pushing against that. A godly young woman is ridiculed and mocked. But God's value that he sees for a woman, he says charm is deceitful, beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Godly character is above all the others. The other scripture I read was speaking about help, lord, for the godly man ceases In so many ways. That's the truth. There's still some godly young man out there. So thank God, few and far between.
Speaker 1:The point that I wanted to make in looking at that is that for a young lady, a young man is wooed by with his eyes and a young man is our young woman is wooed with words and it's a warning don't be deceived by flattering lips and tongues that make proud boasts of plans and dreams and so forth. Look for a godly man that speaks the word. All right, so I want to read the quote from the choosing of a bride. Actually, there'll be two quotes that I read and we'll comment on them. Brother Branham, speaking. He says if a man marries a sex queen, you see what he's looking for for the future. If a man marries a woman that won't stay home, you see what he's looking for in the future. And I one time sounds awful, I just feel to say it, and usually, if I feel to say the thing, I ought to say it, and it's usually God's way.
Speaker 1:I used to go with a rancher that I worked with to buy cattle and I noticed the old fellow always looking right in the face of a heifer before he went to bidding. Then he turned her head and looked back and forth and followed along and watched him and he looked her up and down. She looked all right A stature. Then he turned and looked her in the face and sometimes he shake his head and walk away. I said, jeff, I want to ask you something. He said say on Bill.
Speaker 1:And I said why you always look the cow in the face. I said she looks all right. A good, good, heavy cow Said I want to tell you, boy, you got to look, you got a lot to learn. And I realized it after he told me. He said I don't care how she's made up, she might be beef, plumb to the hoof, but if she's got that wild stare in her face you don't want to buy her. I said, why so, jeff? Well, first thing is, and she'll never stay put. He said the next thing she'll be the mat, she'll never be a mammy to her calf and said they put her in a pen. Now the reason she's fat, you turn her loose. That wild, that wild stare. She'd run herself to death. I said you know, I kind of learned something.
Speaker 1:Believe that applies to women too. Right, right, that wild starey, rickety look, stay away from her boy, all that their blue stuff over atop her eyes. I didn't, I wouldn't want that and I don't think that's becoming to a Christian. I don't care how much the television paper says it's pretty, it's the most horrible, looking, hideous sight that I ever seen in my life. So the point is it's not merely staring into a woman's eyes and finding whether or not she has a wild stare that's part of it but it's really looking and examining the kind of life that she's living. What's her relationship with her parents, how does she respond to her parents, what kind of attitude does she have and so forth. This is more important what kind of character that she has, not whether or not, she's pretty or not, or she has the right kind of look. Woman could put the right kind of look in her eye and still be the wrong kind of woman, one choosing of a bride. Could you imagine a Christian doing a thing like that? No, sir, I could not.
Speaker 1:A true Christian will not look for such beauty queens and chorus girls and sex queens. He'll look for Christian character. Now, you can't have all things. There might be one girl that's real pretty and the other girl maybe she's, her stature looks better than this one, and you might have to sacrifice one for the other. But if she's not the stature of a lady, of a woman, I don't care whether she's pretty or not, you better look at her character, whether she's pretty or not. Now for it's becoming.
Speaker 1:If a Christian would choose a wife, yet to choose a genuine born-again woman, regardless of what she looks like, it's what she is, what makes her, and then again, that reflects his own godly character and reflects what's in his mind and it's going to be in the future. For his family will be raised by such a woman, for the future plans for his home. If he marries one of these little modern Rick Edd's sex queens, what could he expect? What kind of a home could a man expect to have If he marries a girl that ain't got enough moral about her to stay home and take care of a house and wants to work out in somebody's office? What kind of a housekeeper will she be? You'll have babysitters and everything else, it's true.
Speaker 1:Now, I'm not much of this modernistic taste of women working. When I see these women with these uniforms on riding around this in this city on motorcycles as police, it's a disgrace to any city that will let a woman do that. See, see as many men that's without work. It shows the modern thinking of our city. It shows the degrading. You don't have to have them women out there like that. They ain't got no business out there like that.
Speaker 1:When God gave a man a wife, he gave him the best thing he could give him outside of salvation. But when one goes trying to take a man's place, then she's about the worst thing that he could get a hold of. Now, that's right, amen. Now, as we look, as we look at these two quotes and you begin to examine this, you're going into it as a young man. You have to have a vision of what you want your home to be, of what a vision of what you want your family to be. Now, of course, when you marry someone, there's a negotiation that takes place. There's a discussion that takes place. Perhaps you want 17 children and she wants four, see, so you got to meet somewhere in the middle and discuss this and talk this out. But the point being is, if she comes oh, I don't want children, I don't want this, I want to have a career Then we have a major problem and a major issue. Your vision for your home is not lining up with what this young woman wants to do, where she wants to go with life. You want to have a family. You want them to serve God. Well, they're going to be in the reflection of you and this lady. So think about that. Pray along those lines.
Speaker 1:Proverbs 7, 21, and this is a warning to a young man. So this is 21 through 27. With her much fair speech, she caused him to yield. With the flattering of her lips, she forced him. He goeth after her straight way as an ox goeth to the slaughter or as a fool, to the correction of the stocks, till a dart strike through his liver, as a bird, hasteth to the snare and knoweth not that it is for his life. My Hark not to me. Now, therefore, ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways. Go not astray in her paths, for she hath cast down many wounded yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.
Speaker 1:Are you, young men? Are you looking for just a girl that will flatter you, the first girl that will like you and bring you and seduce you into a sexual relationship? If she's an ungodly woman dressed ungodly, this is the direction that she wants to take you. You have to see the character, not just the physical stature and beauty. So what should young ladies look for in a mate? The pick you want to find a young man that has a vision for how he's going to provide for a family, for how he wants to live for the Lord, how he wants to lead the family. You want his vision to be a reflection of Jesus Christ. So your aim as a young lady you're not out there searching for someone to propose to. You're waiting on God to send you a godly man Now again, sometimes we over spiritualize this.
Speaker 1:Young men wait for God to lead you. They hear that I need to have a dream. God revealed to me this is my wife. Well, sometimes we over spiritualize it. God's leading many times is in a natural way and then you pray and he guides and directs God's providence, working out the situations in your life. Maybe God gives you a dream, maybe God gives you a vision, but don't over spiritualize it. Say that's my wife. She says no, I don't want to. And you try to flatter and in a sense force her your way into her heart with false premise. Let God orchestrate it. God will work on her end. God will work on your end. If you follow God's channel, god will take care of this.
Speaker 1:So, young, young ladies, what should you look for? You should look for a reflection of Jesus Christ. Your whole heart, your whole passion, your whole desire should be focused on pursuing Jesus Christ. He should be your satisfying portion. First, you shouldn't look and say some young man will make me happy. You should learn to be happy now with the true love of your life, the Lord Jesus Christ. You should learn to love him and pursue him and give up everything to walk with Jesus Christ and then from there, if God leads you to a man, wonderful, but first be your passion of Jesus Christ, not boys. Don't be boy crazy, be Christ crazy, and you should.
Speaker 1:When you look for a young man, don't look for him to be a reflection of what's cute in our culture. Look for him to be a reflection of the word. A real man acts like a man, dresses like a man, respects his mother, loves his mother, takes responsibility and has the capability, or is growing in the capability, of providing for you. Not just some boy that smiles and flatters you and says that you're cute, that's nice and that's wonderful, but that doesn't put food on the table and that doesn't take care of a family If he has, if it's just puppy love and he can't take care of a family. Number one is you have no business to be together anyways, so take your time. So then, how do we find the love of our lives in the Bible? It doesn't give. It doesn't say that marriages have to be arranged. It doesn't say they can't be arranged, doesn't even say exactly how they're arranged. So we have a lot of leeway to look at the leadership of the Holy Spirit. Now we look at judges 14, one through three.
Speaker 1:Now Samson is no example of picking godly women. He always picked the wrong one, but nevertheless, you to see, just in general, the picture here. And Samson went down to Timnath and saw a woman and Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. And he came up and told his mother and his father and his mother and said I've seen a woman and Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. Now therefore, get her for me to wife. Then his father and his mother said unto him Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren or among all the people that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father Get her for me, for she pleaseeth me well. So here we have a situation where now Samson is going to his parents and his parents are making arrangements for the wedding. All right. So this is like a traditional arranged marriage, all right, but Samson is the one that found her and went to the parents. Now, in arranged marriages, usually what ends up happening is that they it's not that they, the young man finds them, it's that the family, the parents, find the young woman. So, with that said, does it mean that that has to be how it happens? It could be, but it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 1:Then we have, of course, genesis 24, one through four. We're familiar with the story. And Abraham was old and well stricken in age and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house that ruled over all that he had Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh and I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell, but thou shalt go unto my country, to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son of the sons of the prophets. So we see these scriptures, we look at these verses and we understand.
Speaker 1:Now Abraham is sending his servant to find out Rebecca, find out, find. Well, he finds Rebecca, find a wife for Isaac. And when he gets there he prays and says you know, give me supernatural guidance, ordain the circumstances so that I know it's you leading me. And then he speaks to the young lady. And then the young lady brings her to the home, speaks to the family, asks for her hand in marriage, tells the testimony of God's leadership. And they say this was God leading. She can do what she wishes to. She says, yes, I'll go. So again, I'm not trying to advocate for an arranged marriage or against it. Some cultures have arranged marriages, and that's good. Some cultures do not, and that's fine. But the cultures that do not. We have to be careful to do it in God's order. Samson found a woman, asked his father to arrange it. Abraham sent his servant out to find a wife for Isaac. I think Samson looked at attractiveness.
Speaker 1:Abraham, abraham's servant, looked at the leadership of the Lord. And I think we have to find, look at the results, samson's results, looking with the eyes. What was his results? Problems Destroyed his life. Right, god used it, god worked through it, but nevertheless destroyed his life. And then we have Isaac and Rebecca.
Speaker 1:Again, this is producing the son of the promise. Nothing, not everything's perfect. It was done God's way. What was God's way? Finding the leadership of the Holy Spirit, that young man is what you must do. Find the leadership of the Holy Spirit. You consult with God, you follow God and then you follow the right order and right channel. He spoke to the young lady, all right. And the young lady found God's order and said you better speak to my family. All right, god's order, god's channel, and Abraham's servant wasn't concerned necessarily about if she could have fun with Isaac or If they tested correctly on a personality test or their son signs match properly. He wanted the will of the Lord and the blessing of the Lord. Next he went to the family of Rebecca, told his testimony, requested permission to take Rebecca, isaac, and they saw it was the will of God and gave her to the servant To bring to Isaac. All right, the leadership of God comes first. And secondly, does the father give his daughter to the headship of another? Now I want to. I want to look at this in the.
Speaker 1:In the past century, western culture has undertaken a fascinating experiment, cultural journey centered around the matters of the heart, and we've witnessed the gradual formation of a miss mythology that encourages us to follow our hearts, insisting that happiness lies and falling in love. And this past path is Taken through casual dating. You date one, then date another and date another. Doesn't work, doesn't work, doesn't work, doesn't work. Okay, finally, it works. In this system you're free to start at any time. You start from dating to kissing and then onto petting sex, etc. When that initial spark fades, it's on to the next person, repeating the same process. But is this model model Sustainable? Well, number one it's not rooted in biblical teaching, so it can't be. This cultural experiment We've had in Western world and that we're Evangelizing to the rest of the world has produced a 41% divorce rate in the USA.
Speaker 1:Now, amongst message believers. We don't follow the same system. We don't follow the world system, but we're also do start to develop a system that, if we're not careful, it will take young people in an unbiblical direction and if we don't Put biblical truth before the people, it's going to keep going further and further. We must we as ministers must correct this. I've spoken with a number of young people and I'm not trying to throw them under the bus. I love them. It's nothing. Nothing is their fault. It's simply what's been happening amongst the message and we have to address it biblically Because, as many of them have told me, they've never really heard the process of courtship laid out biblically. So we're going to examine that, we're going to examine this approach and we're going to find out if it aligns with biblical principles. All right, so let's explore this. Number one is when I say I want to, as we, as we get started, I want to talk about this for a moment. Disney, hallmark, etc. They're all put.
Speaker 1:Their gospel is the gospel of casual dating, casual sex Finding, finding the love of your life through a process of elimination, and what this does is actually the opposite of what it is supposed to do. It teaches us how to break up. It doesn't teach us us how to have a lasting relationship. That's a covenant for life. So finding the love of our lives is the second most important decision We'll make in our entire lives. Love is a wonderful thing, right. Love is beautiful. We enjoy love, but we have to remember there's a difference between felio love, eros love and Agape love. There's the difference between lust, infatuation, falling in love with someone on the, in an emotional situation, and genuine love, which means commitment and Demand a biblical response.
Speaker 1:When we speaking, when we start to speak about following love, it's as though we've acquired some kind of virus, something floated through the air and I fell in love. I can't explain it. This is infatuation. It can come and go. Nothing wrong with infatuation as long as you handle it biblically. But the problem with infatuation is it can often lead to young men and young women, especially young women, giving their heart to this person. When you give your heart to them, you leave a little bit of yourself behind. When there's no commitment, they decide, hey, I don't want to be around this person anymore, I don't want to talk to them anymore. This can happen in life and it can also happen on social media. But if you're not interested in the context, you have to realize that God must be the center of our love story.
Speaker 1:God's purpose is not for us to jump from person to person trying to find the right one, giving our heart away in a temporary girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that results in heartbreak and pain. God's purpose for us is very different. He wants to lead us to the love of our lives. He wants to be the center of our relationships. The world says try out lots of different people and then decide. God says I will lead you to that person to give your heart to and you won't have to take it back. I have a process for you to go through to get there. True love is expressed in a lifelong covenant made between a man and a woman, called marriage. How we get to marriage depends much on our parents, our upbringing, the country we live in and the convictions that we have. As a young person. You can break the rules or follow the rules, but the best thing to do is to understand God's purpose for you and to know that it's right and true in your own heart. So my purpose is I want to go now through the development of the current world's system, then examine the system that is developing in the message movement, then I want to give an outline of how to choose a spouse, the attitude to take during this process and then the process of courtship, engagement and engagement All right. So I want to see and look at how the system of the world has developed to today so that you can see its connection to what's happening in the message All right.
Speaker 1:This is from an article in boundlessorg by Skip Barzamato, and the article is a brief history of courtship and dating in America. So what I'm reading now is a quote. As a cultural historian, alan Carlson and Beth Bailey put it in the Mars Hill audio report, wandering Toward the Altar the Decline of American Courtship. Prior to the 20th century, courtship involved one man and one woman spending intentional time together to get to know each other with the express purpose of evaluating the other as a potential husband or wife. The man and the woman usually were members of the same community and the courting was done, usually done in the woman's home, in the presence and under the watchful eye of her family, most often mom and brothers.
Speaker 1:However, between the late 1800s and the first few decades of the 1900s, the new system of dating added new stages to courtship. One of the most obvious changes was that it multiplied the number of partners from serious to casual, and individuals likely to have before marriage. So one important point to understand right up front, and about which many inside and outside the church are confused, is that we have not moved from a courtship system to a dating system, but instead we have added a dating system into our courtship system. Most young adults will marry. The process employed in finding a husband and wife is still considered courtship. However, an extra layer, what we call dating, has been added to the process of courting. If you're familiar with computer programming terminology, you can liken dating to a subroutine that has been added to the system of courtship. So in the article they define courtship as preparation for and proposal of marriage. So further on they go.
Speaker 1:The first and probably most important change we find in courtship practices in the West occurred in the early 20th century, when courtship moved from public acts conducted in private spaces, for instance the family porch or parlor, to private or individual acts conducted in public spaces located primarily in the entertainment world, as Beth Bailey argues in her book, from front porch to backseat courtship in 20th century America. Bailey observes that by the 1930s and 40s, with the advent of the date which we will look at more fully in the next installment of courtship, courtship increasingly took place in public spaces such as movie theaters and dance halls, removed by distance and by anonymity from the sheltering and controlling context of the home and local community. Keeping company in the family parlor was replaced by dining and dancing and moving and parking. So then, when you look at the development of casual dating, that takes place outside of the concept of church and family and it goes into the area of entertainment, and from there the norms of sexual behavior changed to casual sex with casual dating. So, as a result of that, the concept of finding a wife or a man is much less important. Even the word date and dating comes from the 19th century lower class slang word for booking an appointment with a prostitute. By the 20th century that came to describe men and women going out to dances, parties, movies, etc. But indictment.
Speaker 1:And in the 1940s a massive shift took place due to World War II, the teenagers in the postwar years before the war, a non sexual, promiscuous popularity was the norm. How many girls could you take out? How many boys have you taken out? But it's not related to sex at that point in time. After the war, this began to slowly change and it became a new phenomenon take place. It was called going steady. So this going steady process was a new stage added to the relationship. There had to be a class ring, a Letterman's jacket, a letterman's sweater If you're going out or going steady. Most of the relationships did not end in marriage. They lasted days or weeks or months. And now this going steady process included a breakup and this was probably the biggest factor in increasing divorce rates in the West. Now young people are being taught how to deal with breaking up in a relationship. Dating and going steady prepares your heart for the disappointment of breaking up in a relationship, not the commitment.
Speaker 1:Alright, let's continue on with what Skip Bersamato says in this article in boundlessorg. I think the answer is yes, no, and I don't know what. Appears that the script that has developed in the closing decades of the 20th century and beginning of the 21st, as anything goes, and although for many years this was sold under the heading of freedom, I believe young adults over the past decade have discovered that in fact, it has caused cultural and relational vertigo, not knowing for certain which way is up or down and not knowing which direction to move. Do I date one person at a time or several people? How do I know when I'm going out with the person, meaning dating them exclusively? How do I talk to the other person about our relationship in modern language? When do we have the DTR defining the relationship talk? What about sex? What qualifies as sex anymore? Is it only intercourse? How about other forms? Does that count Right? For many, it's utter confusion.
Speaker 1:Now, as message believers, we've certainly been impacted by Cultural developments. There doesn't seem to be an overt Dating that's manifesting itself, though it may be somewhere, in going from girl to girl, boy to boy on the local dating scene. In other words, there isn't any widespread casual jumping from person to person going out for some form of entertainment without any commitment. However, there is a truth that social media has caused a great shift in how this is done. It has been Facebook, and Still so in some demographics, but it's shifted from Instagram DMs now to snapchat.
Speaker 1:If you find someone you're interested in you, you go through their snaps and the young man would ask for her phone number after that. And there's an aspect where social media and camps have Impacted all of this. There's a phase where, after meeting someone at camp or special meetings, you look them up on social media. Then you start snapchatting or Instagram DMing and there's that phase, getting to know each other casually, without really any commitment. It's just on a friend level. The statement is often and made how would I know if I was interested without this face? Plus, there's a fear that if I make, if I make every boy talk to my dad when we start snapchatting, it'll be uncomfortable because I don't want any commitment. Then it seems it can go from there to the next level of having their number texting face timing. This is still the phase of figuring it out. If you want to be exclusive with them, this is the talking Phase or and it's a non serious phase Deciding if you want to take the next step, of being in a serious courtship. It's usually done. It's usually done With asking permission in the younger aides the serious courtship. In the talking stage You're deciding if you want to enter the courtship phase, which is Courtship is prayerfully making a decision about getting engaged. So, as I look at this, I seem to see this process and one Singling someone out, starting to message them on social media, asking for their phone number, getting permission from the father to talk, deciding to break up or moving towards courtship engagement, marriage. So Before we make any judgments or try to offer a solution to this, I want to be clear. I understand why these things are developing and I understand this is not completely how the world handles things, but I also want to point out that in some way, it's precisely how the world is handling things Now doing some research from the website internet matters dot org, a website founded in 2014 To study internet usage by teens and to help parents Increase safety for their children.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm reading here. According to teens, the best and easiest way to meet and engage with love interests is through their social media accounts. We look into the positives. Teens say they have one in healthy, romantic and in a positive way. Healthy romantic and dating relationships, online relationships can remove barriers. The children may have one meeting for the first time and allow those who are shy or socially anxious to develop their social skills in a space where they feel safe to do so. All right, this is what the website says.
Speaker 1:Of course, although using social apps and online platforms Can help children to maintain relationships, concerns have been raised About teen safety when exploring romantic relationships online. So what can seem be seen as harmless chat can turn into something harmful. If a child is lacking in critical thinking or is considered vulnerable, it may be harder for them to spot when a chat with a new friend Can put them at risk of grooming or being lured into sending nudes, for example. So, parents that are listening, you should be. You should have Some form of Block on your children's, some form of time management or control over your children's Phone, and you should be looking at it and reviewing it and helping them understand how to interact with the world properly. Right, that's your duty to do as parents.
Speaker 1:The young people don't just. Don't be so casual about your contact with people, especially of the opposite sex. All right now, looking at statistics one in five children are happy to have an online only romance. One third of 14 to 17 year olds have sent a sexual photo to someone they like. One third of young people have started a relationship with someone they met online. Half of 14 to 17 year olds had at some point chatted online About the kinds of sexual things they'd like to do with someone they were interested. All of these things open young people up to black, black, male and even being groomed and being trafficked for the sex trade.
Speaker 1:According to pure research, most teens do not do not start their relationship online, but social media is the main venue of flirting. In other words, they know about them In person. They start their Courting or courtship process online. So 55 percent of all teens eight ages 13 to 17 have flirted or talked to someone in person To let them know they are interested. 50 percent of all of teens have let someone know they were interested in them romantically by friending them on facebook or another social media site. 47 percent have expressed their attraction by liking, commenting or otherwise interacting with that person on social media. 46 percent have shared something funny or interesting with their romantic interest online. 31 sent them flirtatious messages. 11 made them a music playlist. 10 percent have sent flirty or sexy pictures or videos of themselves. 7 have made a video for them. Now, a majority of the time among young message believers. The social media aspect of communication is innocent, but it does add a layer of communication that Seems appropriate Because it's not done in person. It's okay.
Speaker 1:For many young people there's a dividing line between what happens on your phone and what happens in real life, but the same god that governs what happens in real life governs what happens on your phone. The same word that applies to your real life Is the same word that applies to your life online, and we have to remember this. Jeremiah 17 9 the heart is deceitful, above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it First? That's lonely. It's 522 abstain from all appearance of evil. So let's look at how brother Branham handled things with people of the opposite sex that he was not married to, and this is an example to us all, and this is for both offline and online life.
Speaker 1:Many times I'd go to houses and there are women standing out there and I go to the house, knock on the door and a sister would come to the door Come in, brother Branham, if her husband is not there unless it's a case of sickness and somebody with me, I don't go and then they call me to a hospital or to a room, say, brother Branham, come over here. I'm sister so-and-so from so-and-so. I'm here at the hotel. I brought my mother along. She's sick. I take my wife. If I don't, I take some other brother.
Speaker 1:See, I think it would be all right for me to go in there. But what if somebody's seen me going there? See, what if somebody's seen me do it? See, then the first thing, you know, they would say he went in there, or that woman was he's chasing after women. That, see, that would be a thing I shouldn't do. You see, you should never do anything like that, because you put a stumbling block somebody else's way in somebody else's way. See, I don't believe that I would do anything wrong in there. I would trust God to go in there. But no matter what the thing was, I would trust God. But yet, see, I love the Lord. Well enough till I wouldn't do it. See, it's a love you have, you, you'll not do it because it's a duty To do it. You do it because you love the Lord. You don't have to do it, but you do it anyhow, right?
Speaker 1:So we shouldn't put ourselves in a compromising position of being alone with the person of the opposite sex that you're not married to. That leads to the appearance of evil. It's also can lead to many temptations. You could say I'm, I'm strong enough to overcome the temptation. He that stands, take heed lest he falls. Follow the word. Don't follow and put yourself in a position of temptation. Now I want you don't want to take this thought and the thought that the standards that govern real life Also will govern the virtual life. We, we don't go by different standards Now.
Speaker 1:Now I want to begin to show you the fundamental truth of the bible, how they're not merely rules, but they integrate with the very fiber of how we've been created and they apply also to the modern world. Though it's partially wrapped in mystery, the bible Shows you how to find the love of your life and the standards that apply to that. So what is marriage? Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman for life. There's no divorce for godly people. That's not in our vocabulary. It's a commitment, commitment to have a love relationship for life, and it carries with it responsibilities unique to the man and unique to the woman. Genesis 224 there shall, therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. First, corinthians 7, 1 and 2.
Speaker 1:Now, concerning the things where of you wrote unto me, it is good for a man Not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every man woman have her own husband. So there's two states that you're in you don't touch a woman and then you touch, you touch a woman. You can touch a woman when, when you're married to her. First, corinthians 11, 7 through 8.
Speaker 1:For a man, indeed, not to cover his head for as much, as he is the image and glory of god. But the woman is the glory of the man, from the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. So the man is glory of god, woman is glory of man. So man is a reflection of god, the woman is a reflection of man. So when you're looking For someone to spend your life with, you want to make sure that she will indeed be a reflection of you, reflection of your vision, reflection of your heart Submitted to you so that you and your vision, your vision for your life, are one. When you're going on the wrong vision, a different vision, you're not acting in oneness. Psalm 78, 63.
Speaker 1:The fire consumed their young men and their maidens were not Given in marriage. So I want to look at this to a terminology. They married and were given in marriage. So Matthew 22 30, for in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage. But there is the angels of god in heaven. Matthew 24 38. For as in the days that were before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage until the day that Noah entered in the ark. Luke 17 27. They did eat, they drank their married wives, they were given in marriage until the day that Noah entered into the ark and the flood came and destroyed them all.
Speaker 1:First, corinthians 7 38. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. So we see here what's the difference sons marry, daughters are given in marriage. So what does that mean? It means that the father gives his daughter to a young man. Right, that's biblical. Sons are not given. Sons marry, daughters are given. Why is that? Let's look at it.
Speaker 1:Numbers 30, we'll read 1 through 9. And Moses spake into the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel, saying this is the thing which the Lord has commanded. If a man vowed vow unto the Lord or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. If a woman also vowed vow unto the Lord and bind herself by bond, being in her father's house and her youth and her father here, her vow and her bond wherewith she have bound her soul, and her father shall hold it his peace at her, then all her vows shall stand and every bond wherewith she have bound her soul shall stand. But if her father disallow her in the day that he hath not any of her vows or of her bonds wherewith she have bound, her soul shall stand and the Lord shall forgive her because her father disallowed her. And if she had it all in husband when she vowed, or uttered out out of her lips wherewith she bound her soul, and her husband heard it and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it, then her vows shall stand and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it, then he shall make her vow, which she vowed and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect, and the Lord shall forgive her.
Speaker 1:So, as we examine this further, we don't have an intermediate state of a daughter wherein she's responsible for herself when she turns 18, 21, 25, 30, whatever. If her father has passed away a father and mother have passed away, certainly she's under her own headship. I would think she should get a godly man involved, a pastor or someone that she trusts involved in the process even then, but nevertheless. Nevertheless, she would be passed her own headship. But as long as her father is alive, she's under his headship and she's not married. The Bible has it two ways she's either under the headship of her father or transferred to the headship of her husband. There's no difference, there's no other option here, and that's the process. The father hands the headship of his daughter over to someone else's son. All right, deuteronomy 22, 13 through 21.
Speaker 1:I want to see the responsibility of the father If any man take a wife and go in unto her and hate her and give occasions of a speech against her and bring up an evil name upon her and say I took this woman and when I came to her I found her not a maid, then shall the father of the damsel and her mother take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city and the gate. And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hates her and, lo, he hath given occasions of a speech against her, saying I found not thy daughter a maid, and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city, and the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him and they shall immerse him in a hundred shekels of silver and give them unto the father of the damsel. So notice, that's given to the father of the damsel, because he's brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel and she shall be his wife and he may not put her away all of his days. But if this thing be not true and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she should die because she hath wrought folly in Israel to play the whore in her father's house. So shall thou put away from, put evil away from among you.
Speaker 1:So notice, it's at the door of the father's house that she is to be stoned. It's in front of his responsibility. This is the case right here of charging her and her father with committing virginity fraud. They presented themselves as a virgin and did they commit fraud. If the charge is false, the father receives the payment penalty. If the charge is true she stoned in front of her father's door that's done because it was putting a bad name upon the father to make a false charge, because it was the ultimately the father's dereliction of duty and not raising his daughter to be a true virgin.
Speaker 1:So we find and gather from this it's the father, the duty of the father, to take steps to ensure that his daughter is delivered to her husband as a virgin. It's his duty to work together with with his wife, the daughter's mother, to prepare her to be a virgin. She needs to understand the value of being a virgin and to set forth the boundaries in her life to ensure that she remains a virgin. Exodus 22, 16, and 17,. If a man in Tisa made that is not betrothed and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. So a man in Tisa's a young lady has sex with her, he is responsible to marry her. But verse 17,. If her father utterly refused to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. Either way, he's going to pay something, he has to pay it. It's the father's choice whether he gives that daughter to that young man.
Speaker 1:The Bible gives fathers genuine authority, biblical authority in the family, to make decisions in the love life of his daughters. It's not a mere formality. Until we understand this properly, we cannot set things in order. Young men know and parents teach your young men that they must get the consent of the father in order to speak to the young lady, and the father has the right to invalidate any decision made by his wife or daughter. Therefore we can see God has ordained the man to be the deciding factor in the marriage and in the family relationships. If the man is intelligent and his wife is a godly woman, he will desire her input through the entire process, because they're one.
Speaker 1:Ephesians 5, 22 through 25,. Wife, submit yourselves unto your own husband says unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. So, in the context of courtship, it's the father's responsibility to teach and set forth the importance of purity and to put it in place the correct principles in the home to ensure that she's safe, protected, guarded. She knows that her father will be involved in the decisions for her love life, so that who she talks to courts with and marries will be decided with her father.
Speaker 1:Alright, now. This needs to be taught from a young age, both to boys and to girls. They must know it. It shouldn't be a mystery. This is the Bible. We're returned back to the original faith.
Speaker 1:Parents, we need to help our daughters to know how to put up boundaries that they will not let anyone cross. Our daughters need to know how to tell young men no to their advances and to defer them to the father. Be kind, but say no. Keep them at a distance, both physically and emotionally. Learn a godly rudeness to say no, no.
Speaker 1:Now, biblical courtship seeks to prevent young women and young men from giving their hearts away to the wrong person. It keeps the decision-making process at a distance with godly parents involved. Young men have your parents involved as well. Young men, though, are there to take the risk and make the steps to find a wife. Young ladies are to wait and pray. They're never to go out looking for a young man. They're to pray, seek God and ask Him to lead the young man to them. Parents should also want to take steps to help their children meet other believers at special meetings, youth camps, etc. But we still watch over these situations and we keep ourselves involved in all of it. But make our home a place that your children want to bring their friends and allow them to come over and play games together, have pizza nights, watch a godly movie together, and such of the like. Not any old movie, but ones that would be pleasing to the Lord If left to our own devices.
Speaker 1:When it comes to decisions of the heart, we would usually make the wrong decision for the wrong reason. We should have the heart that we do not want to make our own decisions about our life partner, the person we bind ourselves in a covenant for life without God. We should be in a position where we're prostate before the Lord and say I don't want to make the wrong choice. I want you to make the choice, oh God. We should want God and have a desire for God to make this decision for us regarding who we marry, because he knows the end from the beginning. If we make this decision, it could be a total failure, but if we submit it to God and let Him lead us, it will turn out the way he has designed and we shouldn't give our hearts away before we're committed in marriage.
Speaker 1:To oversimplify the beginning process, we'll see a young man takes an interest in your daughter. You might approach your daughter at church or at camp for a full number as a means of contact. She would say you'll need to speak with my dad before doing that. This is a means of protecting her from having to confront this young man and say no or feeling pressure to say yes and in turn to ensure that her decisions aren't made on mere infatuation. That would come and go. The decision has to be made in God's order, through her father and with prayer and communication between the daughter and the father and seeking the leadership of the Holy Spirit. This also prevents young men from being casual in their approach to young ladies.
Speaker 1:The preferred method is that boys who are message believers know I will never approach the girl directly, but they would find a means to approach the father first before expressing this interest to the girl. Well, how would I even know how to do that without snap chatting or texting? This is the foundation we have to build from. Do we want to do it the way the world does it and find out on our own, or do we want to get to know them first? Of course you want to get to know them. But if you're on a long distance you have to do it God's way. And even if you're doing it locally, if you want to start talking to them over the phone, you have to approach it God's way, not the casual dating way. Of course, localized courtship is simple, straightforward. You get to know them from a distance and group settings and the home of your parents, their parents, youth meetings, fellowship after a church, etc. Any young man decides I'm interested on out. He would approach the father for permission to talk to his daughter. Then it moves from talking to courtship or to them, stopping the process. Say it's over.
Speaker 1:Courtship takes place in public, not in private, not behind closed doors with no one, no one there. This invites temptation. If it's, it's to be done in group settings at restaurants with chaperones, top golf with groups, etc. Etc. Whatever it might be. In this situation where there's long distance, the typical approaches I've been a snap chat to text to. I'm going to ask the father permission. I would suggest this is a corrupt system. It's the same system that the world is doing. I understand it's under comfortable. You may not know if you like the person or not, but the truth of the matter is you cannot circumvent God's word based upon your situation.
Speaker 1:In the modern world, the standard of God's word is to get permission from the father to show interest and talk to a girl. My girls are not allowed to text with boys unless it's on a group chat setting and there's not any texting with boys allowed unless it's a unique relationship, and it has been allowed by me. And even texting in a group chat with boys isn't allowed until they're late, until later. Whether you like it or not, snap chatting or DMing a girl privately on social media is most definitely approaching a girl. Young ladies, do not let young men do that without getting permission from your father. Parents, teach this to your children. There's no need for our daughters to get their hearts all tangled up with boys at too young of an age, or any age for that matter. Help them understand why it's important to keep this dividing line between her and young men. Keep that standard up.
Speaker 1:God is more than able to lead a young man to her. Those things of first importance are to seek God, pray, grow in grace and get prepared to be a housekeeper. Learn how to cook clean, take responsibility for groceries, shop, etc. Young man, it's your duty, when you're young, to learn how to, and get prepared to, provide for a household. It's not your duty to be incredible gamer. It's not your duty to know all the modern things of this time. No, it's your duty to learn how to be strong, to stand up for truth, to have a backbone, to learn how to take risks under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, to be a provider for a family. That's the vision we need to put on our children.
Speaker 1:Now, what about the age for courtship? When can we allow courting? Should we allow 12 and 13-year-old girls and boys to court and date and call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, as we define courtship before it is discerning the will of God for marriage, then we can understand that a young man should never court a young woman without being filled with the Holy Ghost being who he is, being prepared to provide for her and to be her husband. A young woman should never court until she's filled with the Holy Ghost, knows who she is and is trained and ready to be a wife and a mother All right Now. In closing I want to quote a book by Doug Wilson called Her Hand in Marriage.
Speaker 1:In biblical courtship, the practical, involved authority of the Father over the process is fully recognized and appreciated. With recreational dating, the authority of the Father is treated as a vestige of another era or as a joke. This means that fathers and mothers need to start thinking about their role in their daughter's lives in a biblical way and for the family to set for this and for the family to set Okay, this is me speaking. I ended the quote there. This means that fathers and mothers need to start thinking about their role in their daughter's lives in a biblical way and for the family to set for this expectation and show it biblically to the children from the youngest ages so they know God's purpose and plan for courtship. I know that was a longer episode. They're going to be longer now on because we're looking at doing this every other week, so we'll try to keep an entire subject onto one. It might be an hour and a half, it might be two hours, it might be three hours, I don't know. I hope it's not that long. It'll be exhausting, but we're going to do longer podcasts for our public, podcasts that go on every week.
Speaker 1:We'll be continuing to release more special podcasts for our subscribers. If you want to do that, you can go on to Buzzsprout the link will be connected to this video and sign up to sponsor the podcast and then, when you do that, support the podcast. That helps us keep it going and it'll also give you access to the weekly podcast revealing the mysteries of the Bible. Thanks for listening in. God bless you. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you for listening to the Jason DeMars podcast. If you wish to support this podcast, you may do so at the Buzzsprout link attached, wherever you are listening. As a supporter, you will have access to an exclusive subscriber only weekly podcast called Mysteries Revealed. This is designed to be a thank you to our supporters. Once again, thank you for listening, and may the Lord richly bless you, go before you in all things, and may he reveal Himself to you more and more as each day passes.