#1 - My Money Story

In the podcast Always and Never About the Money, host Chelsea Williams explores the intricate relationship between money and our daily lives. She discusses the concept of a "money story," which is shaped by our experiences and beliefs about money.

Chelsea shares personal anecdotes and insights to inspire and educate you on how you can change your own money stories. She emphasizes the importance of understanding one's values, beliefs, and emotions related to money in order to transform one's financial life. The podcast aims to spread financial literacy and empower listeners to take control of their finances.

Episode highlights:
1. The importance of understanding and changing one's mindset to change your money story
2. Chelsea shares her own personal money story from the impact of her parent's divorce to her young adulthood and how they formed her perception of money

Episode Links:
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Giveaway Form: https://app.lawmatics.com/forms/share/e30ba2df-99d2-4d12-bd86-e02f2cf776be

Always and Never About Money Episode Links:
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Money Mastery Website: https://moneymastery.mykajabi.com/
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlwaysandNeverMoney/

Transcript

Welcome to Always and Never About the Money. Are you ready to embark on a journey that will forever change the way you perceive money? We'll get ready because we're about to dive deep into the fascinating world of finances and human behavior. I'm your host, Chelsea Williams and Money Whisperer. I'm here to help you realize what your money story is telling you and how you can change it. But hold on tight because this is not the dull black and white talk about money. We're gonna splash all the color into this typical nap inducing conversation on Always and Never About the Money. We're gonna explore the intricate relationship between money and our daily lives from the impact history has left on us and how we still manage it, how your habits shape your money, and what beliefs are driving your habits, choices, and relationships to the deeper values and emotions we've come to attach to it.


We are going to unravel it all through insightful conversation and personal anecdotes. We'll bring you the expert insights, real life stories and meaningful thought provoking ideas that will inspire you, educate you, and initiate some serious perspective change when it comes to your money. Remember, money is just a tool. Together we'll untangle the web of emotions, beliefs, and values. We've come to attach to it and find a new perspective on how it can enhance our lives. So whether you're looking for motivation, practical advice, or a good laugh always and never about, the money's got you covered. Thank you for joining us in this transformative journey.


Get ready to challenge your beliefs and embark on a financial exploration like no other. Without further ado, let's kick off the episode of Always and Never About the Money.


Everybody has a money story and your money story is made up of what you have observed, absorbed, and experienced around money and how you've held onto or changed your own money decisions according to or as a result of all of this, spending time understanding what your money story is brings awareness.


It also brings an opportunity to change or keep doing what's working well.


There are a couple different pieces to what makes up your money story. The first of which is your imprint period from the age of zero to about seven to 10. Now, during your imprint period, there's a lot of different stories that I hear. Some of us had very little money and didn't have the material things that you wanted, and you really felt that when you were younger. Maybe you didn't know exactly what was going on, but you really felt it.


Some of us were making just enough. It was well enough, right? You had a, you had a pretty good childhood, you maybe didn't notice it too much, maybe here and there.


Some of us experienced a lot of friction. Maybe your parents fought or even divorced over money.


Maybe you lived comfortably enough that you never even noticed, and maybe you were even born into money. It was never an issue for you, right? And this imprint period is where we start to discover our money story, the things that we saw around us. Did we have really nice clothes? Did we have really nice things? Did we not? Did people argue about it? What was the relationship growing up? Right?


And the second piece to your money story comes after your imprint period into your lived events. So we think about things like when was your first job when you graduated high school and went into the workforce, and what was your experience around that? If you went to college, maybe you worked during college because your parents expected you to pay some of the tuition or all of the tuition, or maybe you went to college and your parents paid for everything, including your housing and fun and drinks and all of it, you had no financial responsibility.


And then maybe college came and went. And after college you found yourself in a bunch of debt if your parents didn't pay it, right? Think about your first quote unquote career position. What were the feelings around that? Did you feel like you were making enough or you were disappointed in what you were making? Did you land a stellar first career job?


And then we get into relationships when we get into a partnership or a marriage and managing finances with another person.


And then we have kids that we have to make enough money to support and then get into the teaching kids about money. Maybe you've experienced a massive change in income. Maybe you lost a job. Maybe you got a new job where you were making a lot more money and family dynamics, thinking about how the family dynamics operated when it came to money.


Are you having to ask your family to borrow money? Are people asking to borrow money from you? How you navigated these experiences as a result of your core values and beliefs and your money will reflect that?


You've probably heard the idea that in our adulthood, all we're doing is battling our inner child, right? Our inner child is from that imprint period.


And money is a way to trace what these are for you.


And I can guarantee you that no one has ever changed their money story without having first changed their mind around it. Hey everyone, and welcome back to Always and Never About the Money. This episode is really showing you how much humility I am coming with in this podcast podcast. I really have a deep passion for what I do and what I'm asking people to do is very difficult. It's very hard. It's something that scares us. And so I thought it only fitting if I was to kick this thing off by sharing my own money story so that you can really get an understanding of what even is a money story. Like what do you mean when you say money story, Chelsea? That's like, what are you talking about and how else?


How better to show you than by sharing my own. And you know, this is not all things that I recognized when they were happening in my money story. It's not like when it happened, I was like, oh, this is, you know, I didn't make sense of it right away. It took time and it took intentional reflection because I understand what I understand and I see what I see and I, you know, I, I look for the answers and I try to put the pieces together.


That is how I was able to look back and really identify my money story and realize how much of a role that it played in my life up until the age of about seven to 10.


You are in what researchers call your imprint period. And there has been a lot of research done around this. You are basically a sponge at an energetic, at a mental level. You are taking in everything around you. You're not making sense of it yet. You're not processing it. You're just taking it in as it is.


And so it's a very important part in our life because it really solidifies over 50% of our core values and beliefs. All of our subconscious, you know, thoughts and everything that is stored in our subconscious. A lot of it comes from this imprint period from ages seven to 10.


So when I was this age, looking back, what I can remember and make out of that is seeing my parents' work a lot. Very hard. My dad's work was an a truck driver. And so he was gone physically a lot, late nights, early mornings, right?


But he would take us with him sometimes, and it was a lot of fun. It was kind of, you know, getting able to see, or being able to see what he was doing and be in the back of the cab with the bed. And it was, it was fun. He made fun out of it, right? So it, it wasn't necessarily, you know, a bad thing at the time. Of course, I missed my dad and I wished that he was there, but I also got to spend time with him while he was making money. And that meant, you know, a lot to me in my adulthood.


And my mom involved us with her work as well. I remember my mom hopped on the early cell phone wave back when there were beepers very quickly. And so she was like frontline selling beepers with a, with a beeper cup pager company. And she would bring us to the events. She was a salesperson. So we would do local events. I remember going into the office and just seeing where she worked and seeing her work hard and a lot, but again, making it fun, at least for us, right in, in my little seven to 10 year old eyes. So during this period, we're not really looking at the actual money. We're kind of absorbing the lifestyle around the money. And we see it as, you know, not actual money, but how much we saw the people around us, how much they invested their time into, you know, earning their money.


And so then something happened when I was eight years old that completely uplifted and changed my entire world in so many ways. When I was in the third grade, my parents got a divorce, and for me at that time was earth shattering. And so what happened during this milestone is that my dad was gone almost overnight all at once. We heard it was happening. And then he was gone. He had moved into a house, a small house here in town with roommates. So there were like three guys living in this one house. And my dad, he had a little bitty bedroom. And somehow this man was able to squeeze in a bunk bed at the foot of like a queen bed in one room and a dresser, right? And so when me and my brother would come over there to visit him, we were in this one bedroom all just crammed together, right?


So this circumstances around his lifestyle changed drastically.


And then my mom post-divorce, I would describe as she kept the lifestyle, she was able to maintain the lifestyle. We didn't have to move. We still, I didn't notice any changes in, you know, like Christmases. In fact, I feel like I got more because I had two Christmases instead of one. But I didn't really feel a shift in lifestyle over at my mom's house versus my dad. And so I can look back and I remember that, you know, and we would get school clothes and all these things from my mom and then, but my dad, I distinctly remember, and this is where I, I got a lot of being humble. He would take us to goodwill.


And so there's two of these very different lifestyles that all of the sudden I'm seeing in my life. And again, back then, I really wouldn't have thought that it was money. But looking back now, and also becoming an adult and having conversa adult conversations, I've found things out over time that what I was observing as a child was a situation where a marriage and the way that it managed money was that we don't really share it. We don't really discuss it. You have your responsibility. What's mine is mine. There was this distinct separation, this line in the sand financially, right? And so looking back, you can, I can absolutely see that.


I can see my dad going through this entire life shift. And my mom, we just came to see, seem to keep going over there. You know, not, not a lot changed.


And so by the time I started making money, my dad has wor had worked his way up to, he bought kind of like a project house, and he was improving it slowly. And my mom and her new significant other built a house from scratch. So these lifestyles continued to evolve and change on their own paths. And when it came time for me to earn money, my first job was at 15 and I worked at Taco Bell on top of high school, which, which was really fun. I I, I, I learned the lesson at that job that the people that you work with really matter, right? And back then, money wasn't a thing to me. My parents still helped me, took care of me, obviously. But you know, I think they encouraged me to get a job to just, you know, get me out there a little bit and preparing me. And, and something I had seen in my dad my entire life was his work ethic. You know, very labor intensive, work ethic.


And my mom had a great work ethic, you know, in her sales positions. Both of my parents were great examples and they pushed me to develop that same muscle. And so I had my first job when I was 15, and that's about how it was until I went out on my own. Now, when I went out on my own, I was 18 and I left under not the best circumstances. I left home under not the best circumstances. So I was really on my own at 18, right after high school, right? And so I ended up having to move in with a, a friend. A friend who I still know love and appreciate and will always for that. And I immediately started working.


I had a ton of jobs from factory to delivering yellow, yellow books If you're, if you're old enough to know what the yellow book is, right? When we used to chuck 'em on people's porches, I had a number of sales jobs where I, you know, got used to hearing, no, I really appreciate that about working so many sales jobs, just not being scared of being told no.


So here I was all at once at the age of 18 on my own. I did not leave with anything. I was not gifted with anything. I was truly on my own. And thankfully I had found a place to stay.


And thankfully I left with my work ethic. I was not afraid to go out and work multiple jobs, a ton of different kinds of jobs, working factory, delivering yellow books, phone books. I had a lot of sales positions, some labor positions. And I even had a period where I was making money in a non-ethical way. I was hustling by any means job to job whatever I could find. I was not afraid to work. I wasn't scared of it. Now, sometimes a money story is I found one job and I stayed there. I had a friend growing up that worked at McDonald's for what seemed like a lifetime. And I think now he's only on his second job ever.


And mine was not the same. Mine was a ton of different jobs.


And so from 18 to 20 years old, that was how I made my money. And I moved a couple of times. But because my work ethic, I was not afraid to put in as much time as I needed to and utilize all the resources that I knew about willing to, to discover new ones. I was very open to the idea of making money.


Spending money or having enough money was never really an issue for me. I always had enough to do the things that I wanted to do to maintain my lifestyle. There was never this point where I was dirt poor or couldn't afford the things that, you know, I needed and most of what I wanted. But when I was 20 years old, something happened that changed my life forever. And it happened. I kid you not in the matter of a fraction of a second, in a fraction of a second, my entire being shifted, like I felt it in my body. Everything changed for me.


I was in a Walmart bathroom stall and a pregnancy test told me that I was to be a mother.


And that idea, that role of mother for me, was enough for me to shift my entire life. And almost overnight, I changed my phone number. I moved, I cut off from who I used to be, and I stepped into the beginning of this new me, this different me. So I changed my environment, I changed my lifestyle, and I began to see money, not just as a necessity, but an investment.


Shortly after I had my daughter, I went back to school and I completed my degree and walked away with what so many of us have now, which is college debt. But I started to think about my future and what it is that I wanted to do. And college is where I discovered my passion for accounting. And I truly, truly believe that passion can be a place where you make money. And so this was like my first experience of finding something that I truly, truly understand and enjoyed. And then having the idea that I can actually make money while doing something that I'm really good at and that I actually enjoy. And so, while I was attending college as a full-time student, my work ethic remained the same.


There were times when I was working two jobs and going to school full-time. And while my money story is not one of struggling because I didn't have enough, what my money story is, is sacrificing time so that I had enough. And in my daughter's younger years, I did not have a lot of time with her. If I wasn't at school, I was working jobs and sometimes until pretty late.


And so my story is one where I had the money. It was never an issue. My daughter never felt financial struggle a day in her life, but I didn't have as much time with her as I would have liked to have.


And you know, it's funny, today my daughter is 15 and because she's never known financial struggle, struggle, she wants all of these things. And, and she doesn't come from a place of struggle. So she doesn't have that scarcity mindset. And, and sometimes I just have to giggle because I have to look at her and be like, girl, you just don't know. Like when you were little, we did not have much. We came from almost nothing. When I found out I was pregnant, I started over all over again. I moved in with a friend again. I worked my ass off until I could purchase my own house, our own home and start, you know, paying towards my own asset.


But she never experienced that. She never felt that because I always had enough to get her the things she needed. And most of what she wanted, we had enough family and friends in our life where they would buy her things and help with this lifestyle. She didn't feel it the way that I felt it. And so after college and finding my passion, I started this journey of working in places that were very close to my passion.


I got a job with a small business here in town whose C P A dropped the ball. And I raised my hand to the owner and I was like, Hey, I have taken one accounting class. 'cause at that time, I hadn't even graduated college yet. And I think that I can, you know, do your bookkeeping, do you wanna gimme a shot? And he did. And that was the first door that was opened to me to really follow this career path. And from there I moved to a tax and accounting firm where I learned so much about the industry. I learned I, I brushed up on my skills so much and I continued to develop my passion. That's when I started to see beyond the numbers, beyond the financial and into the human side of money.


So this idea of having a passion and pro profit, being a byproduct of your passion, really was solidified for me when I went out on my own and started my first business core solutions group.


And at the time I was married to my son's father and things at the tax and accounting firm were getting a little shaky. And I was just at that point where I was like, you know what? I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to start my own business and take the leap and get it done. And luckily my son's father was so supportive of me. He trusted me. He had confidence in me. He was a little nervous naturally, but inevitably he let me leap. And I don't think that it was a coincidence that when I went out on my own by month two, I had already replaced my paycheck from the tax and accounting firm.


And the reason I don't think it was a coincidence is because my first probably about five clients were clients that I was working for at the firm. When I left.


I was not allowed to reach out to them and kind of steal them from the firm, but they came looking for me because it wasn't the same. Because I knew that what I had set out to do was to help business owners truly create a relationship with their numbers and their money and evolve from it. And they could feel that in the time that they were working with me at the firm. So when I left, they sought me out. They came and found me on Facebook, on LinkedIn, and by month two, I was making the same money that I was making at the firm.


And in the first calendar year, in the first 12 months of my business being open, I had already hit six figures.


And I truly believe it's because I was living in my passion. And profits are a natural byproduct when you are living in alignment with what really sets you on fire.


And what made this transition just a little bit more nerve wracking for me and my husband at the time, is that when I quit the firm and started my business, I was pregnant with our son. And so we had two major life events happening at once. While this was all happening.


But looking back at my relationship with money from the very beginning, I have always had what I call financial faith.


Meaning I don't doubt that what I need is going to be there and if what I want isn't coming as fast as I like, I also know that I can find contentment in that. And a lot of that came from my father when my parents split ways and my dad was able to create some of my fondest memories while what seems to be living on a dime. He taught me that happiness doesn't require money. It's experiences that create our sense of fulfillment and of happy and the people that we share those with. And not all experiences require money. And when you know and understand these things and you can share them with other people, you can help create a financial transformation in their lives.


So my son's father, when we first started dating, we joke about this, but he had a thousand dollars in a savings account, which he ended up spending on my engagement ring. Other than that, he had toys like, you know, the four wheelers and the man stuff. And all of his money was wrapped up in his things around him, right? And when we started dating, and especially when we moved in together, his money habits started to change. And there even came a point where he got really interested in investing in stocks and, and studying retirement modes to where he actually taught me a lot about future investing and the different ways that we can do that.


And so we joke to this day that, you know, I, he, he really came up in meeting me, dating me, marrying me, having a kid with me because the way that he views and manages money has transformed everything for him.


So we combined our finances, and I know there are a lot of different ways to manage money when you're in a relationship when you're married. And the way that we went about it was that we shared it wholly and completely. We didn't keep track of who made more, who got more, who could spend more. We did everything as one unit. And even when we ended up getting a divorce, we were able to discuss and split things in a way that we both felt fair without going through mediators and attorneys and court dates and fees. It was just something that we were both very much so on the same page with we had built together, we had a few properties we were renting, you know, and we were able, because money was not the priority, we still saw value in our relationship post-marriage.


We knew that we had came together and fallen in love for a reason, and we still appreciated each other as a person. And we were not about to let money come between that.


So now at the age of 36, I can still say the same thing and maybe even a little differently. Money is not a problem and I make enough to do everything that I need to do for myself and pretty much all that I want to do for myself. Now here's the thing too, because I don't see money as a requirement for happiness, I am able to manage my money in a way. And with a system where I don't keep a budget, I don't really keep track of my expenses outside of physically separating my money for purposes. And I believe that money is energy, how and how much, and when it comes to you is a result of the energy that you're putting out.


And my spending energy is so in tune with my earning energy that I feel it. If I need to slow down, I feel it. If I have extra that I can do something big. And so I just kind of intuitively have this relationship with my money where I make enough and I don't spend too much, and I'm still able to create happiness and abundance in my life. And especially having my businesses, which 100% fuel my passion, it gives me purpose. And a result of that passion and purpose is naturally profits.


And now that I have two kids, I am in a position where I am now having to teach money to kids and knowing what I know and realizing that everybody has a money story, and most of it is rooted from an incredibly young age, it puts me in this seat now to create, to help solidify and create the foundation of my kids' money story. And that comes in a lot of different ways, and it's different for each age. And that's an entirely different podcast episode, how to teach your Kids about money at every age.


But I encourage you to sit down and really take a look at your money story, think about your imprint, period up to age seven to 10, and don't just focus on the money. Write down what did you see, and then think about how money was in the background and list out all of your lived events and really think about how did your perspective on money change? How did the way that you managed money change? And I wanna hear your stories. I wanna know your money stories.


I want you to tell me, because I know that money is a way, a very black and white, simple way to start digging into who you are because money is a reflection of that. And a lot of us are struggling with money because we are struggling with ourselves. And by doing this exercise and by really taking the time to write out all the things that play a role in your money story, you are gifting yourself the opportunity to change that story because you can, because your money story is changeable and because it's worth looking at. If you're in a position where you feel like you don't make enough money or you aren't able, you're not great at controlling how much you spend, this is your first step.


Your money story is like a tree, right? So we look up and we have all of the branches and the limbs and the leaves, and those are all the things, right? The things that we have or we want.


But what you're doing by thinking about your money story is observing the roots, looking at the roots and seeing what needs to change and how. Because if we don't look at the roots, what you see is not going to thrive. And what you can find in your money story, what the roots are, are your values and principles as an individual.


If you don't know specifically the things that you value, the characteristics in yourself, that you value the person that you wanna be, the principles that you want to live by in this life, it will show in your money story. And maybe by looking at your own, you can start to untether some of these things. And not just change your money story, but change your life story.


Because when you change your mind, when you dig down to the very root and you decide to change your mind, you can and will change your money.


Okay, listeners, here's the deal. We are on a mission with this podcast, and I need your help. It kills me inside that people are not being taught about money and they are suffering because of it, especially our younger generations who are in school and not learning about it.


My big, hairy, audacious goal is that I wanna be something like the female Dave Ramsey and spread financial literacy like wildfire so we can change the course of history together. So now I'm recruiting you to help me in this vision, and I'm incentivizing you to spread the word with some pretty cool giveaways.


Once we reach 50 subscribers, we are chucking out some goodies to the world. So here's what you need to do.


Subscribe to our podcast and turn on those notifications, repost or share wherever you're hearing or seeing this, and submit the form for our giveaway. That form will be either in the show notes, if you're hearing us on the podcast social posts, we'll have 'em in the comments. And we also have it in our link tree, the literal day that we reach our first goal of 50 subscribers. We've got three chances for you to win. Our first giveaway is gonna be your choice of AirPod Pros or Samsung Buds, a t-shirt, and a free money strategy session with yours truly. The second giveaway is an Amazon gift card, that same t-shirt, and the free session.


And the third giveaway is the T-shirt and the free session. I am so grateful to have all the listeners of Always and Never About the Money, and I think that together we can change the world's money story. You liked this episode. Be sure to show us some love by subscribing and turning on those notifications. You can find me on Instagram under the Money Whisper, and also where we encourage you to contribute to join the conversation, ask questions, and share your thoughts so we can create more episodes tailored exactly to what you wanna know about Money. I'm your host and your Personal Money Whisperer. Until next time, remember, it is always and never about the money.