#9 - The Evolution of Feminine and Masculine Money

Join Chelsea in an eye-opening journey through history, gender dynamics, and the changing roles of men and women in the context of money. Explore the evolution of feminine and masculine energy and how it shapes our lives today. In this thought-provoking episode, we'll dive deep into the impact of economic shifts, the rise of feminism, and the challenges both genders face in redefining their roles. Discover the significance of intention, gratitude, and balance in a world where money is becoming increasingly gender-neutral.

Episode Highlights:
1. Explore the concept of masculine and feminine energy beyond gender labels.
2. Examine the history of gender and money, and how we came to be where we are today.
3. Discover how men and women can find equilibrium in their changing roles.

Join us for a compelling discussion that challenges stereotypes, fosters understanding, and encourages empowerment for all. 

Always and Never About Money Episode Links:
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Money Mastery Website: https://moneymastery.mykajabi.com/
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlwaysandNeverMoney/

Transcript

Hey there, financial explorers, whether you're a seasoned money guru or just dipping your toes into the world of finance, I'm glad you're here. I'm Chelsea Williams, your money whisperer and founder of two companies that focus on helping business owners and individuals take control of their finances always and never about money is where we gather to dive deep into the fascinating intersection of money and human behavior. We're here to learn about our money story, uncover the driving forces behind financial habits, understand the impact of history on our wallets today, and give you all the knowledge and tools to change your money story.

So join us for insightful conversations, personal anecdotes, expert insights and thought provoking ideas that will challenge your perspective and help you use money as the simple tool that it is to enhance your life. So whether you're a business owner or an individual working a job, get ready for a journey that will transform the way you think about money.

There are three things that I think everybody should keep in mind at all time, and those three things are history, evolution and philosophy. History is what we have done, what we have learned from evolution is going to happen. It is the natural way of things there. We are not going to stop the fact that everything and everyone is constantly evolving. Now, which direction are we evolving in?

That is the philosophy. And the philosophy is what is going to control the history that we have not yet written.

Before I dive into our topic of money and gender, I wanna share my beliefs and perception with you because, hey, look, we can't please everybody. Not everybody is going to agree with me, but I do know that it's really important who you take your advice from. And if what I believe doesn't resonate with you, hey, that's okay. It's not good. It's not bad. Just means I'm not the person that maybe you should be listening to on this topic. So I consider myself a feminist, and at the same time, I want to consider men just as much.

I believe that males are counterparts to females and females are counterparts to men. I believe that we are yin and yang. I believe just that just because we don't need each other for certain things doesn't mean that we shouldn't want each other for certain things, whatever that looks like. And when I say male female, what I really think that boils down to is energy. We have feminine energy and we have masculine energy.

And I don't want to ude the L G B T Q community at all, even within that community, I believe that which energy somebody resonates with the most plays a big role in how they identify. So as I'm going through this episode and I'm talking about men, women, masculine, feminine, please know that at the heart of these words, for me, it really boils down to feminine and masculine energy, right? And I think that this is an important topic, and I want to speak on this topic because we have had a wave of feminism in the past that really fizzled out for a number of reasons.

And I see this wave making a comeback. And historically, when we have big changes, there is a period of resistance and overcompensation. There is the period of imbalance until the awareness develops to overpower the instinct and resistance. It is our human nature not to like change, yet everything around us is changing. And look, here's a good example. When we eliminated legal slavery from our country, that did not overnight change the way that people thought, change the way that people felt, or change the way that people treated people of color. Look at us all these years later and we still see racism and discrimination is alive and in a lot of cases thriving.

So I want you to recognize that with any change, there is a period of resistance and imbalance before it finally levels out. And that may look different for race, for gender, for economic changes, but overall it's a pretty consistent pattern.

So welcome to my TED talk on money and gender. When we consider money and gender, we wanna consider the history, right? Because this is where we come from. History greatly affects how future generations think and operate how we do things, A lot of what we do is rooted in history. We can learn from it, we can learn what to change, we can learn what to keep the same. That is the value of understanding history. It also helps me to put things into a better perspective when I'm not just isolating the here and now when I'm considering and having a well-rounded idea while thinking about history, where we come from, why things are the way we are considering the changes, and how difficult they have been considering the fact that the history I'm gonna talk about, some of it was not that long ago, right?

Just because it's history doesn't mean that it happened so long ago and we forgot about it. And it's no longer relevant. That's just not the case. And so when it comes to money and gender and the dynamic between the feminine and the masculine, we have to take it all the way back to the hunter-gatherer days.

So while there was no kind of currency exchange back in these days, it still set the foundation. It's still where we always go back to that that is quote unquote, the beginning is the hunter and gatherer days. In those days, there was very defined roles between men and women. Men were seen for and valued for their strength, for their ability to protect. They were valued because they contributed greatly to basic survival. They were the providers, right? These are all the the values that we put around men. Women on the other hand were the nurturers. They stayed at home. They prepared and processed the food that the men provided.

They were the caretakers of the children of the home, of the goods that the men brought to the home. There was this sense of like warmth and softness with women. And so then over time, we had this very natural and fundamental evolution. We started to work more together. We had bigger systems to work with. And an example of what this looks like is the industrial revolution, which started in the late 18th century.

The industrial revolution brought about a marked advance in material living conditions. So the things and the resources right there was this radical advancement in the methods by which goods are produced. So hunter gatherer, the men produce the goods industrial revolution. The masses created systems to mass produce these goods. And men kind of stayed in the same role, right? When these factories went up, the men were the ones that went into the factories to work, to produce and think about, you know, these were very poor working conditions. They required physical labor. Men still filled these roles. They were still the strength. They provided the survival, the going out and the making of the money to bring home to the women who were still in that role at this point, right?

They were responsible for the home and the quality of life and nurturing that environment. So while there was a change in the economical environment, the dynamic was relatively the same as hunter gatherer days. Then we had this period of advancements in understanding and opportunity.

As we began to advance as mankind, we began to have more options. There began to be more possibilities with these advancements, right? Women started to enter the workforce, which gave them the option to provide for themselves. Now, I want you to understand the flip side of this. When women went into the workforce and started making their own money, in my opinion, that was a great move for women. That's, it's amazing that women have more options and they have the peace of mind to be able to provide for themselves. Now, I want you to think about the other side of that. What this means in a sense is that there was a little bit of value that was taken away from men, right?

In their perspective, there was a little bit of that provider piece that they were no longer required for. The dynamic started to shift, and then the money shifted. So it wasn't just when women were able to make and control their own money, that the dynamic shifted. The dynamic shifted first, the women at home started to get feelings about, I don't want to be at home for whatever reason. I want to be able to go out and work. I want to make my own money. And women had to fight for that, right? So the dynamic between the feminine and the masculine shifted before the laws allowed for the money to shift for women.

And so fast forward quite a bit, and where we found ourselves was finding balance amidst an ever-changing landscape, right? So we have more opportunities, we have more options. Now it's about what are you going to choose? The options are there. The opportunities are there. Women and men alike have more or less the same opportunities. Now, don't attack me and say, well, women didn't have these things. You're right. Women had to fight more for sure. But overall, the options and the opportunities were opening up. So now that we have that, now it's more about what will women choose?

What will men choose?

And so this shift has really allowed women to experience more of their masculine, and for men to experience more of their feminine. Women had this sense of newfound confidence and independence. And one of the choices, the honest to God choices that women had was to choose power and revenge. And I think that this new wave of feminism is where we really have to be careful with our intentions. Ladies, yes, we have the same opportunities. Yes, we have the power to create independence for ourselves, but I want you to be conscious about why are you choosing this? Are you choosing power and revenge? Because some women are, some women are so much in the head space of I don't need a man, I don't need a man, financially, emotionally, spiritually, I don't need a man. I can do all of this by myself.

And while I am a thousand percent for empowering women to have all of these choices and to make their own choice, I think it would be a bit hypocritical for women to choose power and revenge. And after the dust settles, we find the roles switched. That would make us a bit of a hypocrite. And so I want you to just be aware that we have the choice, right? And so then while we're in this period of finding balance, amidst the ever-changing landscaping, men have been able to experience their feminine. And there's a lot of different feelings around that for men. Some of them are very resistant to it, some men have embraced it because while men have been alleviated in a financial dependence sense, right?

They aren't necessarily needed for physical protection or to provide, they've been alleviated of all of these things. And some men are left feeling less valuable because of it. And some men are resistant to this change. I see on my personal Facebook, the men out there that still believe in the women should play the role of staying at home and taking care of the kids and taking care of the house. And look, I'm not saying that's wrong, I'm saying that now we are in a place in history where all the options and opportunities are there. It's really just about what we choose.

What I'm saying is choose what works for you while keeping the other person in mind, staying at home and not working and taking care of kids and cooking and cleaning the house makes some women really, really happy. And their partners are absolutely fine with that. Nobody can say that that situation is wrong.

But I think now that we're in this place, we really have to ask ourselves, what is it that you want to choose? Because if you don't know what you want, if you're out here trying to prove a point or suppress or do anything, ill willed, we're gonna get lost if we don't know what it is exactly that we want, right? So now we live in this day and age where we have all the options, we have all the possibilities. Now everybody's looking for their version of happy, success, abundance, meaning now we're getting down to, okay, we have, we've switched the dynamic. What do we wanna make of it now, right? So I think that the next phase, this is just my, this is kind of what I foresee when it comes to money and the feminine and the masculine.

Now we are in a day and age where we really have to dig down into our intention.

What is our intention? And because money is now available to both the masculine and the feminine, more or less equally, go with me here. Don't try to fight it. I'm trying to prove a point that's not the wage gap. Money followed us to this place.

If we look at money today and where money is flowing, men and women alike, we as a human race are spending money and looking for things like entertainment, right? We want the Netflix and the vacations and the games on our phone. We are seeking to be entertained. We looking for love. People are spending money looking for love via dating apps, whatever the case may be. We wanna be healthy. We value our health. We're spending money on gyms, on health apps, on delivered to your door healthy food. We value our physical, the clothes, our appearance, we all hurt. There's a lot of money that is being spent on therapy, on medical, on coping mechanisms like alcohol and drugs.

We are all looking for the same thing. What we need to be careful of is not valuing the power and the control because in in intention does not have a gender. And gender plays a role. We've directed the natural energy of the feminine and the masculine. We have made the dynamic change right now that we have. I personally think that the money is trying to show us something, right? And so what I think that we might be becoming aware of in today, in today's timeline is that because of this dynamic shift, men are developing and and redefining their value and worth, right? It's not a situation because of this shift in money where men are needed in a sense of like basic needs.

Men are not needed for the things that they were needed for previously. Which means that we have to look at again, what is the value of men? And not dismiss them and not belittle that value. I think that women can also learn from this. A lot of times I think that women feel that being the the caretaker, the stay at home mom is just not, it makes them not valuable. And I, what I wanna say to women is that look, women didn't want and came to a point in history where they didn't want to stay at home and do all of these things that they were doing, which is perfectly fine. But I want us to also realize that we were always valuable, even in those spaces. We were always valuable.

We just got to a point of us wanting something different, that something was gate kept for us. We started to feel taken advantage of. We had to fight for what our male counterparts had readily available to them and fight unfairly.

And I think that some of us are left bitter because of that.

And that is when we hear women who are really advocating for, we don't need men in our life. And while we may not need them for money or even protection, like it's 2023, you know, a lot of states, it's legal to carry guns. We have security systems on homes. We have dogs. Like we don't even necessarily need men for protection anymore, right? While we don't need them for the same things that we needed back in the hunter gatherer days, don't we want them? Shouldn't we want them? Because what you have to ask yourself, if we look at these historical changes and how it takes a lot of time for those changes to actually be accepted into each individual, maybe not all individuals ever, but to the masses, ask yourself, ladies, what do you want that time to show about us?

Do you want it to show that we were hypocrites and we turned around enforced men into a position that we were once in out spite and Ill will? Is that what we want? Or do we want to do different and empower ourselves while at the same time empowering men and honoring what it is that they're going through? Because of all of these changes? I think it's really easy to overlook the fact that men probably feel devalued right now. And I've spoken to a men about this topic, and I know that that's the case with some men that you know, what they were valued for in hunter gatherer days is not there anymore today. So they're left feeling like, what is my value? Where is my value?

Or I'm just not valuable. And so we live in a society where women breadwinners are an absolute normal thing. I'm, I'm one of them myself. I'm a single mother. I have two kids, one of which I get zero help with at all. I do everything by myself. I own my home. I live in a nice neighborhood. I am the breadwinner. But what I want us breadwinners to keep in mind is don't make the mistake of thinking that that is power. Men tried it and they're losing it. As we see in today's day and age.

I also wanna say to women breadwinners, especially those that have male partners in their life, be intentional in showing gratitude for the new way to value your man. We have a lot of men who are stay at home dads today.

Show them appreciation the way that you would have wanted them to do so for you. And what I want us to see and understand in the scope of all of this is to make the decision to learn from it. And maybe seeing it through the lens of money will help you see it in a different way and contribute to that learning and understanding part. There's a lot of history when it comes to money and gender. Some of that history is still very evident today. And while empowering women and fighting for equality is something that I agree we should strive for, what I don't want to see is for men to get left feeling value less.

And one thing that we can do as women to do different is to make sure that we are honoring the ying to our yang.

And when I talk about feminine and masculine energy, if we're looking at this in terms of energy, like let go of the money for a moment with me energetically, men, even for for bread-winning, strong, independent alpha women, a strong sense of masculinity in their life is where they can go to submit to their feminine. And I don't want submit to be a bad word. I, I believe that admitting into the right situations is fine. It's great. It's good for women to be able to submit. I'm not talking about power and control submission. I'm talking about safe and respectful, appreciative submission. Men still carry this masculine energy, even if they're not providing financially.

And if they're not in a position to have to need to physically protect us anymore, men still carry with them a masculine energy that compliments the feminine. And especially for women who are out here living in their masculine day in and day out. They're the breadwinners they're providing. They're doing the things women need to fall into their feminine to keep their balance. And masculine energy is where we feel safe doing this. So let me leave you with this.

My goal here is to attempt to shorten that period that comes after a shift where we're resistant, where we're overcompensating.

So I want you to look 50 years down the road, think about 50 years down the road, what do you think it'll look like? What do you want it to look like? Because 50 years down the road, money is going to be irrelevant. And what I say by that, what I mean by that is that it's going to be available to whoever, whatever. It doesn't matter. Now, there may still be classes of people, but when it comes to men and women and money, we are already leveling the playing field. It's not completely level yet, we could be honest about that, but it is on its way. It's pretty level.

In 50 years, everybody is going to have the same options.

What we're going to be left with is our inherent energy. And that is what I don't want to see happen. I don't want to see us denying our femininity. Women and men, I don't want you to be stripped of your masculinity. I also don't want your masculinity to be defined by the values that we had so long ago to women. I want you to know that there's nothing weak or wrong about your femininity. Don't resist it. Some of the messaging out there today will have us women feeling like being this day at home mom is weak. It is not.

Recognize that while we are able to operate more in our masculine, now, let's not take it so far that we oppressed men or that we completely reject our natural energy. Yes, we had to fight harder and unfairly to gain the progress that we have today. Don't let that make you bitter. And to men, I wanna say to you that you still hold value.

Just because it's new and different does not mean that it takes away from your value. There are three things that I think everybody should keep in mind at all time. And those three things are history, evolution and philosophy. History is what we have done. What we have learned from evolution is going to happen. It is the natural way of things there. We are not going to stop the fact that everything and everyone is constantly evolving. Now, which direction are we evolving in?

That is the philosophy. And the philosophy is what is going to control the history that we have not yet written.

So respect that there is the power of choice and what is really going to define what this looks like in 50 years is what we truly want as individuals and as the human race.

You liked this episode. Be sure to show us some love by subscribing and turning on those notifications. You can find me on Instagram under the Money Whisper, and also where we encourage you to contribute to join the conversation, ask questions and share your thoughts so we can create more episodes tailored exactly to what you wanna know about money. I'm your host and your personal money whisperer. Until next time, remember, it is always and never about the money.