281-Mindset Meets Grace: Rewiring Thoughts Through Faith with Elana van Deventer

When you are laying it out on the line, creating Christian podcast you need the mental stability to be a Kingdom voice for change. You have a voice burning deep in you and you know it's time to create a podcast.

So join us for a transformative conversation with Elana van Deventer, a certified Mind Mentor and founder of WellMinds. With deep roots in both neuroscience and faith, Elana brings clarity to chaotic seasons and equips others to live with inner stability through Kingdom-aligned mindset renewal. 

As one of only nine certified by Dr. Caroline Leaf’s NeuroCycle Framework and a student of elite institutions like Wharton, MIT and Harvard Med, she weaves science and Spirit to mentor those ready to reclaim their identity, purpose, and peace. If you're navigating emotional overwhelm or craving alignment between your faith and mental health, this episode is a must. 

Elana helps us out with The Stuck No More Voices Academy. Click here to learn more.

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Transcript

Your Thoughts Drive Your Behavior

Speaker 1 0:00

If you don't take your soul skeptics, you will behave because it's from your emotions. Emotions are in our bodies for 60 to 90 seconds. If you stay in that, you're actually choosing to stay in it. Behavior will show up because it's driven by emotions and then you basically just affirming your soul.

Speaker 2 0:20

Yes, the voice of Alana van de Venter. You're not going to want to miss what she has to say in this episode of the Stuck no More Voices podcast, so join us. As Mind Mentor, founder of WillMinds, she is only one of nine certified by Dr Caroline Leaf's NeuroCycle Framework. She's also a student of elite institutions like MIT and Harvard Med. If you're navigating emotional overwhelm or craving alignment between your faith and mental health, this episode of the StegnoMore Voices is a must. And now the conversation with Alana Vandervanten.

Speaker 2 0:59

So y'all you know Dr Caroline Leis. Well, alana's got an amazing success with the neuropsycho-facilitator. But I think, alana, we got to go to the story. The story tells the journey and I think you know when you tell your story, I think it gives hope to so many. So this is what I always say, alana. I say go back to your childhood. What did you like to do when you played? And then I'm like well, some people have problems. You had a brain injury and now here you are a brain surgeon. I mean, not really. So take us back a little and I may interrupt you because I'm so excited to hear this story. I'm sorry, but I want to hear some more.

Speaker 1 1:50

Isn't that? How amazing god is, those areas that we once felt disqualified, and that he goes in those landmines and he restore and it makes.

Speaker 1 1:55

He makes it landmarks. So it's like you said I I had a childhood brain injury. I had to learn to walk and talk at a young age again, and that just stuck with me. That really just became my limit and what I'm supposed to or not just supposed to, what I'm allowed to I think that's a better description of the limit that I placed on myself. What am I allowed to do? What am I allowed to dream and want for my own life? And so that really that happened at a young age and I was labeled stupid in school and I remember and it's just again. God, it just blows my mind. The fact that I'm able to speak in front of people is just how he's able to renew what was not loss, because that's that's a worldly view, but he was. He's able to to renew and to rewire and restore and revive. More than anything else, he's able to revive from the inside out the fact that I'm able to speak in front of people way before I.

Speaker 2 3:03

And English is your second language. English is my second language. You can speak in front of crowds and in front of you as a speaker, and then one to one. That's just too. I'm just fascinated by that. I think the very first time I met you, Jessica Shaker was doing this yes, Lord, Collective, and this is how God just connects people. And that was January, probably about a year ago, and they had all these speakers and Alana came on and instantly she captured my heart. So it wasn't until, like, I just followed her you know how we do on Instagram and then I won a contest and I got to have one hour one-to-one. It was like after she was over. It's like whatever you have give it to me, so she goes. You know she's in Canada. She does have in person. But look, what does God do, man? That's so cool. So now you had a teacher that really slammed you. Was it fifth grade?

Speaker 1 4:01

Tell us about that. It was in. Now I go back back into. I don't know if us also had standards prior to grades. Did you have that?

Speaker 2 4:10

I don't remember it's too long ago so.

Speaker 1 4:12

So south africa, born and raised south african, immigrated to canada over six years ago. We had back in the days we used to I don't know anyone else that remember the days we were with standard one, standard two.

Speaker 1 4:24

So, I always have to think of like. I almost had to like do that whole thing in my, in my mind, but it was grade eight and I remember I was struggling and that's what I. I absolutely despise labeling, because labeling is disabling, it also removes hope. Wow, and I, I remember I was struggling with maths and and he labeled me as stupid and I will never anywhere in life. And that was words and I took it on as and and it's not even I have no resentment towards him or feel that he. He was just basically affirming what I already believed about myself. It was again, I thought our life hits in the direction of our most dominant thoughts and we will always receive evidence of what we believe as truth. So he was just giving me evidence of what I've already believed about myself.

Brain Injury to Mental Freedom Journey

Speaker 2 5:25

Oh, my Excuse me, but please take out a notebook, or if you're listening to the podcast, you might have to stop. I was telling you, every time she talks I'm like where's my computer? I record her, so I can record, so I can get her notes down. So you always say evidence of what you believe determines your thoughts.

Speaker 1 5:48

We will always receive evidence of what we believe as truth. Our life heads in the direction of our most dominant thoughts. Wow, my most dominant thoughts was after 40 years, I was able to rewire and renew my mind. And but it was I'm not enough. Yeah, I'm not capable. And this one, he taught, I'm not deserving. Oh, geez, and so that I had evidence of for 40 years of my life.

Speaker 2 6:18

Wow, you, you, you tried, you were very earnest to try and create things and do things, but it wasn't until the neuropsycho program. It's kind of like fit you like a glove, but before you had that glove you had some. Really what happened? You were in South Africa still and you just got like a modeling signed up and then what happened?

Speaker 1 6:43

Yeah, so there's a gap between, like I grew up, I didn't go and study. There wasn't one of, I was not capable, so I'm not even gonna apply for anything. Financially we also couldn't afford it, so I didn't go study. I had an eating disorder. I ended up.

Speaker 1 7:03

I was always, I remember, growing up. I just want to backtrack a little bit something else that we can do for each other as well. That's very honoring. We always there's a real focus regarding external, and so when we comment someone, it would be oh you look beautiful, t Look at you, and what happens is I don't, we can't be serious. There's always freedom and joy. Happiness is so freeing, it's so good for our brains. Joyful noise, yes. But what happens is I grew up and I remember we were introduced as we.

Speaker 1 7:52

I'm one of three sister, three girls. Okay, my, we were introduced as the clever one. That was my older sister and I was the pretty one, and then my younger sister. She was just the crazy one and she would just always speak her mouth, speak her mind. Sorry, yeah, no, I understand, yes. And so we were introduced like that and for me, my identity was shaped by an external validation.

Speaker 1 8:18

So I was always searching for that compliment because if I had it, then I felt enough. If i't, I went back to that belief that I'm not enough. And so I was always striving, always searching and always feeling lost and this disconnect. And so, at the end of the day, striving very hard, working my way in, I got signed as a model and I thought, wow, is my purpose, this is what I was made for. I've, I'm, that's now I've, you've arrived, I've arrived, yes, I've arrived. Yes, and I did not. I I've never felt so lost than what I did at this time.

Speaker 1 9:05

Now, what happened after that I got there was beautiful events that you got invited to, constant striving and asking to be seen and validated. And, oh man, you, you look. So look at these photos. You look, you look stunning, you look beautiful Again, based on the external. So what happened is when we immigrated from South Africa to Canada, that was all gone, oh, wow. And all of a sudden, I was in the small town, which I still question why people would stay there, because it's extremely cold. We arrive in winter, minus 50. Wow, I've never realized that vitamin d is so necessary in one's life. What I did when I lived there, and so we arrived, and everything that I felt was what I was made for and my identity was stripped away, and to the extent where I felt like I've got nothing left unseen, unheard, unloved and forgotten and freezing to death.

Speaker 2 10:12

I've traveled one week with in college where you have to plug your cars in to keep them, and I like one week and I'm like I'm never. I've never been back. It's just too cold. Right about right around where you were. I thought about that recently. I'm like, oh, I couldn't wait. Right about right around where you were. I thought about that recently. I'm like, oh, I couldn't wait to get back home. So when you were doing the modeling, is that where some of the eating disorder happened, or was it just a continuation? It?

Speaker 1 10:34

was actually prior. It was prior to that event. I was constantly comparing myself to others, and if you have a belief that I'm not enough, then you will never come, never measure up sure, that's so I hate Tom. Okay, so I was not, I was at my skinniest and I wanted to be skinnier to me. I was not enough, so I ended up eating disorder also something that I realized when I done my own neuropsychologist that these beliefs were even showing up in my relationships.

Speaker 2 11:11

Oh really.

Speaker 1 11:12

My friendships. Wow, almost rejected people before they could reject me because one I was not enough. Okay, I was not deserving of anything. Wow.

Speaker 2 11:25

Can I interject there? Because I was chubby when I was not deserving of anything? Wow, can I interject there? Because I was chubby when I was little and then I moved a lot. But I'll never forget my junior year in college. I finally found some Christian friends and I remember pulling up to the dorm to go hang out with them and I'm like. They like me even though I'm chubby. They like me, even though I'm chubby, they like me. So that kind of not enough. It can play really havoc in relationships, good or bad.

Speaker 1 11:54

It will, because you will receive evidence of it, and so I remember my if I think back of some of my past relationships, I was always the one being dropped.

Speaker 2 12:07

Oh wow, that's tough man.

Speaker 1 12:11

I was the one that again just receiving evidence of that I'm not enough. So he's leaving and it's almost like you're manifesting it in a way. Yeah.

Speaker 2 12:22

As we say, after you start feeling like you're not enough, you start manifesting characteristics where the person that you maybe like or love, and all of a sudden they're like whoa, something, it's like an energy, like oh, there's some bad energy coming from there. I don't usually talk about energy, but that's the first thing I mean neither, but it is.

Identity Shaped by External Validation

Speaker 1 12:38

It's really what it is, because that thought creates your behaviors. So the energy I think what you're referring to is how you behave. Okay, because that influences your environment. Sure, if you have that thought, your thoughts create your emotions. So how you are feeling, which is a good messenger, I know now, it's a valuable guide messenger to address the behind, the because, the why, which is your thought, but you will then your emotions. If you don't like your thought, skeptics, you will behave because it's from your emotions. Emotions are in our bodies for 60 to 90 seconds. If you stay in that, you're actually choosing to stay in it. Behavior will show up because it's driven by emotions, and then you basically just affirming your thought. So it's like a cycle. Yeah, so the energy which you're referring to is we have actually mirror neurons, so when we, when we treat ourselves in a certain way, we actually teach others and show others how to treat us.

Speaker 2 13:47

Wow, that's good. I never thought of it that way. So then your neurons and your stuff came to cold Canada. What happened there?

Speaker 1 13:57

So what happened is I was. It was just a downward spiral. Daryl was, my husband was always working. We obviously he was.

Speaker 1 14:06

I was a mom, stay-at-home mom at that stage, and he was at the mine. He's a mining engineer and so new country he's finding his feet. He's also trying to figure out how things work, and he worked a lot and I was alone in the house cleaning. All of a sudden I had to clean. So another thing that South Africans are not used to and what we are so, so blessed is that we have people working in our houses, we have people working in our gardens, and so I had someone. I still love her and I speak to her as much as possible. I had someone in the house that helped me to raise my kids and also also she did all the cleaning, she did all the washing I have, and they became family. Our gardener and domestic in the house became family for us and our support system, and so I was removed from having someone with me in the house. But not not just that. I went from feeling seen and valued and worthy and and yeah that to now cleaning toilets oh, that's a tough one.

Speaker 2 15:14

Yeah, some people are happy just to be a mom. But it's like some people, yeah, they're blessed to be a mom, but they know there's more in them. I. If I offend in you, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 15:27

I love that you're saying that, because I was exactly where someone might be now.

Speaker 2 15:34

Okay.

Speaker 1 15:35

What I realized is because I can remember saying to myself you are just, you are just, you are just cleaning the house, you are just. And that word was really over generalization on my side. And what happened is, when I started my own healing journey, I realized that we have this, this, this belief that was created, that we have one purpose and if we miss it, it's gone right. So it's like a one. You have one opportunity and I felt like remember before, I felt like that was my purpose. Yes, it might be stupid, but for me it was like my identity was linked in it and in it. So I I want to just say this for someone that is a mom and feels like I'm made for more, but I'm just a mom, I also don't like that saying that you are made for more, because it feeds into that belief that I'm not enough. Yeah, but I also want to say that nothing can infiltrate, impact, diminish your enoughness Because of Jesus.

Speaker 1 16:42

It's done. It's not something that you have to strive for to, to earn, to deserve, because of jesus. It's done. It's your inheritance that you can get to. You get to choose to live from daily, knowing that it's done. So your purpose, our purpose is not besides loving god and loving others. That's our main purpose.

Speaker 1 17:06

The vocational, our calling looks different. What I realized when I was just a mom, that was my purpose in that season, but in that season it was my purpose. It was my purpose and I know now, when I can see the value and how I was able to serve my kids. I see it now. But when I was in it I was struggling with mental health issues and depression and I was silenced by guilt and shame because for me, I believe, you can't love God and still struggle, and so I didn't ask for help because that was just an indication of believing enough. I don't have enough faith.

Speaker 2 17:50

Jeez, and I'm not just a mom. I remember I retired after 13 and a half years as a radio announcer and it was devastating. I'm like I'm just a mom, but that I mean. It was like I knew there was more. But I'm just a mom and I remember chiding myself saying Teresa, now being a mom is you need to now pay attention to your kids. What did I do? I went off into marketing and didn't pay attention. But you're right, I like how you said that it is a period and I know your kids. They're amazing. So at that period they needed a mom presence. But it wasn't the end of your journey.

Speaker 1 18:30

No, and that changes If you think of purpose and calling. It's two different things. Our purpose is to love God and love others. Our calling is the vehicle, and it's seasons and so how it looks like will change as well, and God knows where we need it, where we need it the most. And so I now, after all these years, can see how being a mom in that season was the biggest blessing and the area I could serve and where it was most needed.

Speaker 2 19:10

Wow, that's, that's cool to be able to look back and really okay, so what? What was the drive in you, though? You always had a, but you're stuck in a cold place that you can barely move. So, and you still knew you had stuff in you, but what was that like? I mean, I know how cold and lifeless, even just living in a cold, lifeless place. I heard someone on a podcast say I choose to live in San Diego because I know it's sunny, so I'm going to choose. I'm thinking, well, good for you, you know, but some of us don't get to choose like that, so you didn, you didn't have any choice.

Speaker 1 19:44

I didn't have any choice. But I know now when I look back, I knew that that is where I was supposed to be planted. Wow, because I I had to go through a process of being removed and being. My roots were not where it was supposed to be. Wow, and so when I always refer to it as my unearthing yeah, what almost unearthed me if I can create this vision or visual behind it god had to unearth me and plant me back in the soil where it felt dark. It was, it was, it was.

Speaker 2 20:20

I was back in the soil, and when I was removed from all the, the, the trappings yes, Modeling yeah, and he had to literally put you in the dark, lonely place. You now can say that was your unearthing, but maybe someone's listening and saying I am in the darkest place right now. I don't know what's up from down. So you know, testimony in Hebrew means do it again.

Speaker 1 20:56

So continue with your journey, because it's a powerful one. I and I see them. I see them because I was there and I know it is a very, very you feel. I think, that there's two things that happens there is disconnect, that happens in isolation, and it is a dark place and it feels like there's no hope. What also happens is we look at the psychology of the installment. When we look at the psychology of the installment of hope, okay, there's something that happens when we suffer with mental like. Maybe it's anxiety or depression. For me it was depression and it was to the end where I was almost in my own life, like I was suicidal.

Depression and Feeling Unseen

Speaker 1 21:41

And what happens when we're in this dark place? They've done a study on kamikaze pilots and they were wondering why did some of them follow through with the mission and those that didn't, what was the difference? And it was one thing that stood out that happened. Why they didn't follow through was there was an action of them lifting their heads. Wow, moment, wow. That is the installment of hope. What happens when we suffer with mental issues and and depression? Our heads are down. Yes, yes, we are ruminating, it's over and over. And that's the kamikaze pilots as well, as they focus on their missions, their heads are down. They're focusing on the target and they have. They're trying to say these things over and over themselves, but those that didn't follow through lift their heads. Wow, and all of a sudden they realize that there's a tomorrow and there's something bigger than themselves.

Speaker 2 22:48

Their lives is worth living, and I'm thinking, don't tell me to straighten up, you know I'm just lost in the depression and the anxiety. And you know, there was a period of time where I felt like every time I got up I felt like I had a monkey on my back and that's I mean. We're saying we know if you're listening live or recorded. We're saying we understand that feeling, but just that simple act. Maybe your journey is going to lift your head in the morning and just go through the process of healing, but why don't you start with one thing and that's lifting your head?

Speaker 1 23:35

Just lifting your head and choosing. I remember the day where I planned to take my own life, where I was sitting on the ground and there was a moment of total surrender, where I was like this is done, I'm done. And I remember and only now that I've been through my own healing process, I these those things stands out to me, it becomes there's a meaning that I've that.

Speaker 1 24:02

I've seen in those little moments where there was actually these hope pockets and things that happened, because that moment I just when I was like God, I just, if you really exist, then I need you now more than ever. And I know now that when that moment where I just fell back my head, there was a couch the bed. Sorry, it was actually my bedroom, back my head. Yeah, it was a couch the bed, so it was actually my bedroom. When I fell back, remember exactly the scene I was sitting on the floor and I fell back, just like I'm done in that moment. You know, when you you fall back, your head just lifts, wow, and I can't say that it was a light bulb moment and all of a sudden I was skipping out of the room and I was like life is a joy, it was a, it was a journey, yeah, and what happens when we actually allow ourselves to feel, feeling is healing.

Speaker 1 25:04

And when Jesus had all these, I actually want to look for this. I saw this quote during the week and I was like this is so powerful because Jesus showed us all these emotions. But there's something that happened. I know I grew up with this belief that emotions are bad and if you showed positive emotions, then you were full of yourself. Yeah, we always had to suppress and keep it in. And what happens is it causes emotional congestion. Yeah, that leads to minor and major illnesses because it needs out.

Speaker 1 25:39

So if we allow our emotions to guide us and become these valuable messengers which God intended it for, we can. Actually there's nothing that can't be healed If we use our minds the way that God intended it us. Come on. So when we allow ourselves to use a valuable, valuable guides that's within us, able to heal from the root. So we are, we get to the because why are we feeling a and why are we behaving, and so we're able then to renew our minds. But I had to to decide. I had to make a choice. Everything, Everything is a choice. Right, Everything is a choice, and for me it was choosing daily just to wake up.

Speaker 2 26:22

You were in that iceberg and all of a sudden some area code came across your mind. Tell us about that. Yes.

Speaker 1 26:29

So, while I was it was actually during, I must say during COVID was where my healing started. Wow, praise God, it was. Isolation was also a big thing there and I really years what happens and I actually just shared on social media the lights in the Lord and that was one thing that I was choosing to do. One thing I was looking for things that I can be grateful for when I say I was choosing to look for things to be grateful for when we, when we one of the things. Another one is rejoice, rejoice when we rejoice despite the circumstances.

Speaker 1 27:17

Now, when I say things didn't, there wasn't evidence, external evidence of of things, because it was still the same. Right, I felt I was still in the same situation, I still stayed in the same town, still in the same house, daryl was still working, I was still with the kids, everything stayed the same. But when we rejoice, despite the circumstances, okay, our brain secretes neurotransmitters that help us cope. No, so if you ask me, what is something that someone can start doing now, choosing to rejoice? I was just putting on worship music and dancing my cheeks off, rejoicing in the Lord. This kind of circumstances, it's the work harder.

Speaker 2 28:00

Let's dance on some fire is what I want. It's probably thinking back then.

Speaker 1 28:05

The second thing was I was choosing and again, the word choice is so powerful because that's our mind in action we think, we feel and we choose. And I was choosing to look for things to be grateful for. And the third thing I did was I was plugging into the vine. I love your, your, the vine dresser. Yeah, I was plugging into the vine daily. And in that season, in in COVID, during COVID, god gave me a vision. Okay, and the and the vision, I still have it. I printed it out. It meant nothing to me in the moment. I was just like okay, let's just hold on to this. This is a promise. I don't know it doesn't make sense, but I know who knows what this means. And so I printed it out. It was a tree, and the tree had the roots of a brain.

Speaker 2 29:00

Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 29:02

And I printed it out. I had no idea what it meant in that season when I was holding on to it. Unbelievable. And what happened is I eventually created the revive method because I felt like that's what happened in my life. Okay, it was a revival from the inside out. It was like I flatlined in my own life. Okay, I stepped in In that moment of surrender. You revived me. Okay, and who knows when your heart's been, there's a journey of healing that happens after that, yeah. And so I started the revive method because I knew that. I knew that. I knew that God is, god is the way and I, I was just acting out of obedience, I didn't know. I always say when I started the revive method and this is for someone, sure, I didn't know. I always say when I started the revive method, and this is for someone, when I started the first week, I only had the first week planned. It was a six week program.

Speaker 2 30:06

It's a way to do it actually.

Speaker 1 30:09

Because we often build something for ourselves and people's needs, yeah, and so I only had that. That was. That was real obedience.

Speaker 2 30:20

Yeah, my faith.

Speaker 1 30:21

No doubt people's needs, yeah, and so I only had that. That was.

Speaker 2 30:22

That was real obedience yeah, my faith, no doubt. So I had people signed up.

Speaker 1 30:24

That's great, but I only had the first week planned out. It's okay. People think that is crazy, but I tell you, when you let god yes, you walk, you step away from self and you let god more of him, less of yourself create a totally different program.

Finding Revival Through Surrender

Speaker 2 30:41

Because you can know what they get on that first one. Then you can like okay, I'm going to meet their needs instead of wasting all your time building this course. I've been there with my academy courses Then this is great. This is why it's not mine, because you did it for yourself, silly. Why don't you just do one chapter and then see what it means? Yes, your marketing brilliance that was deposited in you is actually starting to flourish. Even back then.

Speaker 1 31:07

It was back then, but I didn't see it Right. God allowed me to see the first step because he knew if he shows me more I would be like there's no way, because already there was resistance and everything was on the highlight reel of what could go wrong. This is a bad idea, you're going to die. You're going to die. It felt like I'm going to die Every time we put ourselves out there. This is a natural, normal human response. I love that one don't have evidence that what we about to step into is me. It's, and so we understand. We don't have any evidence that we can survive this because we are design. Our brain and our mind is designed to keep us safe, but it can't differentiate between life-threatening and just newness. I'm familiar, so it might feel in your body that you are about to die, but it's just because you don't have evidence yet. And so that is when I don't want to be fearless.

Speaker 2 32:13

Right. Fear can kind of help. Tell us how fear can actually help us. By the way, there have been so many times when I'm doing something and in elana's voice you're not gonna die to drinks.

Speaker 1 32:27

That is a good motto I always say get the reps in, get the reps in when it happens. Every time we do something, that is one you've never done it, you feel called to do it, but you haven't done it yet. Yeah, that's good, and I'm speaking here from my own journey as well. Yeah, we'll have a highlight reel and and resistance. Expect it. Yeah, because, like I said, what happens internally? You're just on a scan. You don't have evidence that you can survive this new thing, this new possibility, so unfamiliar. But what happens when you get the rep in? Now, you've done it. It might, you've got free feedback. You've done it, you've got a rep in, but most of you've actually built that evidence into your brain that you can survive this. Now, all of a sudden, it feels life-threatening and you can let fear help you.

Speaker 2 33:26

I know my coach, Jen Gottlieb, always talking about fear the way you do. Hey, I've decided to put fear in the front seat with me. Tell us about that. Good reasons of the right kind of fear. Can I say it that way?

Speaker 1 33:39

Yes, fear is when I shifted my perspective regarding fear. Okay, it became my best friend, it became that hug Jeez, that's so radical. Fear became I care for you. Wow, it didn't become. You shouldn't do it anymore. Hold on.

Speaker 2 34:00

You got to say that again. I mean, there are people who fear the minute. They say fear, oh, I got to be fearless. And they get all these you know triggers. But listen to her talk about the way if fear was not. I mean, fear is part of living life, it's part of the resistance. But tell them again how fear cares for you.

Speaker 1 34:22

I use. I'm going to go back there now. I use fear as my guide and it became my best friend, because if it's not present then I'm busy doing a to-do list.

Speaker 2 34:34

Oh, interesting, I never thought of it that way, but that's true. I mean, it's another way of saying that.

Speaker 1 34:38

okay, so fear the way I. What changed fear for me? Because I also had the t-shirt, I also had the journal be fearless, fearless. I'm still waiting for that day. What happened is when I shifted my perspective regarding that feeling, that emotion, which I labeled as fear. It became something completely different. It became my companion, it became my guide, it became caring. Fear is caring. I just want to keep you safe.

Speaker 2 35:15

Fear is scary. I just want to keep you safe. Wow, someone needed that. I needed to hear that again. Wow.

Speaker 1 35:22

It's an incredible guide that we can use, and then we start building a self-confidence, confidence loop when we go out and we do something. I remember and I think I told you this numerous times I remember doing my first speaking engagement and I swear people could hear my knees knocking, but it was because in my body it's like I'm I'm going to die, I'm going to die. I remember, I have a core memory of standing up in class at grade and I'll have to do this again. Grade three, oh wow. And one I had to read in English. Now, if you know my background, I come from a very small town. We only speak English and use English for self-defense, which was not really needed at that stage. Okay, english was not something that I really spoke, so I had to stand up and I remember I lost control of my body. I literally had like tweet my face. Oh, I could not control my breathing. I sounded like I ended up pronouncing snout as snot oh, bless you.

Speaker 1 36:49

I'm not laughing happy because it's so fun I, and then to now speak in front of people. Yeah, I did it with that feeling presence present. And now, when I do feel it every time, I say yes and I run an opinion and I have these opportunities to speak.

Speaker 2 37:11

Yeah, it is excitement yeah, I saw on video one time when you were speaking and it was so powerful, I mean, and I and you can speak and share your emotions to represent where you're at, and it just connects the audience. And you said a one line that I just resonated with, but I think I'll, I think I'll pass on saying it's one thing we have in common.

Speaker 1 37:37

We have to say we, we do things, we are not just another podcast yeah, it's the hell.

Speaker 2 37:44

I want our mental lives. Oh gosh, I'm gonna tell, said her husband's alive and mine's not. I want to take him out. I know he didn't die because of me. Oh yes, that was way, way years ago. And when Alana showed that story I'm like, okay, that's just yet another thing we have in common that was in the season of when I was in that dark soil.

Speaker 1 38:09

Yeah, it was nice dark, dark, dark.

Speaker 2 38:11

So I'm just saying it was nice to have. Oh, you thought that too. I'm laughing at healing.

Speaker 1 38:17

Please hear me say that, and I can. It just was nice to have.

Speaker 2 38:19

oh, you thought that too. I'm laughing at healing. Please hear me. Hear me say that you shared that in that preaching and that and that, and I just about fell out of my I think I was driving about, I had to pull over because I was laughing so hard. And she's like, and there's evidence that's my husband in the back.

Fear as Your Caring Companion

Speaker 1 38:36

He's alive and I'm not in jail. For those of you that don't know this story, I think we should go there too. Go ahead, you tell it's your story. When I felt removed, unworthy, unloved, unseen all of the wonderful emotions that I felt during the season when I was suffering from depression I wanted to kill my husband. And when I say I wanted to kill him, I'm not just saying it because I felt like it, but I actually had it all planned out and because he, I felt he, is the reason why I'm not where I thought I should be, would be by now in my life. So I remove him. Because I tried divorcing him and the bloody man didn't want to do it, I was like no, I'm just going to get rid of you.

Speaker 2 39:20

I could see your husband. No, it's not going to happen, girl.

Speaker 1 39:23

My six foot six husband. Six foot six yeah, he's a husband. The only way I could do it is while he's sleeping. Otherwise, I mean, there's an unfair advantage there.

Speaker 2 39:33

Now someone's going to relate to that. They're like, hey, I can relate to that, but the beauty, we're not against the covenant of marriage, we're not against men. Go on, because the beauty of your, from that point to your beautiful marriage, now it's just like. It's almost like you had to go through the wilderness.

Speaker 1 39:54

He's still alive. That's the beauty of it. He's alive. He's the beauty of it he's alive, he survived. I never ended up doing it because God stepped in knowing the plans he's got for us and so. But that's you know, I wanna.

Speaker 2 40:11

I, I think, is you know we're laughing about it, but I think it's so good that you're that vulnerable, because you know the pathway and now you're teaching the pathway to healing. And can I just say this Someone in counseling might really hate me Counseling sometimes doesn't get you to that side. Counseling sometimes doesn't get you to that side. Sometimes you can go to years of counseling because you've got to deal with the neurons and the trend, your neuroplasticity.

Speaker 2 40:44

I know I went to counseling after Dave died and it was like, oh, it's okay and she's ready to release me and I'm sitting here flailing, not knowing I'm really flailing, until I met Alana and all of us and I did the app Dr Caroline Leaf's app. I'm still doing the app. That's like, oh, this is, I get to change the way I look at things, I get help. You know, believe me, the first few episodes with Alana on Zoom, she was like whoa. I mean, she was trying to unwrap all this drama. And I'm probably flailing all over the place Sometimes I still do, but I digress. But anyways, I just had to say that because, look, you didn't go through marriage counseling. You didn't go through all this counseling. You got elected to do one of the most amazing things, and that's neuro cycle and helping people the holy spirit guides us, yes, and, but we also have to be be in tune to hearing.

Speaker 1 41:50

Okay, I, I remember I didn't, and I and I always share this because I just want to be completely honest and transparent that everyone inside Africa knows about Dr Caroline Leaf. She's a household name, right, right, I did not. I've never read any of her books until I went for the training, but I've never read any of her books. That's amazing. I was totally unaware of the work she's doing. Okay, and I just want to say her marketing team is absolutely incredible, because someone that is very doesn't even I don't think I was even subscribed, so I'm not sure how it all happened. Okay, happened. Maybe my husband did. He was like she needs this.

Speaker 2 42:39

Do you wonder if he did something? Because what did you get in the mail? I?

Speaker 1 42:44

got the email that said that she's opening up training. Okay, and I was like this is weird, why would I be getting this? And I should still ask my husband, I would love to know. No, I would, I would probably. It's still a great story again, but what happened is I received this email. I'm like, no, I was still operating right under from that, like what also happened during the revive.

Speaker 1 43:11

Is I the revive? There was a beautiful gift that came out of the revive. Okay, I noticed that there's still a gap between where they are and where they wanted to be. Okay, and in the revive method, we even had, we had affirmations, we had prayer, we had prophetic word, we had all of it. Yeah, breathing the. We had visioning, vision, vision, visualization all of it in one container. But the, the beautiful gift that came out of the revive method is that I could identify that there is still a gap, not just for myself as well. Why do we sit in rooms with the door open? Why are we in a mental, a mind prison if we know that we can simply choose to step out? Wow, and so that was that awareness was already there, and so I received this email. I deleted it and not two days later, one day, receiving another email and I was like I'm not qualified, capable or deserving of even applying. But I ended up the really put it on my heart and I put it on the side. You know those open tabs it was one of the tabs forever. Yeah, a couple days later it's still there and I felt like this prompting to apply and I ended up doing it. Short story, long story short, I got approved, so good.

Speaker 1 44:40

And I remember the day I walked into that room and there was therapists and people. That is way more qualified than Donna from the small town in South Africa, way more qualified. I didn't even go to study anything. Wow, I walked in there. I did do pre-studies in the meanwhile, but I didn't go to university. And so I was measuring again, measuring myself yeah, these people, I'm not enough, so I'm not measuring up. And I walked in today and I had a nitrogen coffee in today and I did. I had a nitrogen coffee the morning. I could not. I, it was either the coffee or just the nerves but I literally bounced into that room and I walked in there and I was just like what, what am I doing? Oh gosh, bless you. Yeah, I remember, speaking to Mac Dr Lee's husband and I was sweating. I was sweating and then they asked us to introduce ourselves. I didn't know what I said. Oh dear, I didn't know what I said. I threw up for a minute, threw up for a minute and I ended up.

The Mission vs. Money Mindset

Speaker 1 46:02

It was the first thing that I won heal myself, help me to transform myself, and also that I saw through something and I finished it because I also had a belief that I'm a quitter. Wow, and I. It was the first thing that I managed to see through and I received my healing from a deep, deep root. I found my origin story, which blew my mind. That belief that I'm not enough was not even linked to the brain injury that I had at a young age, but it was actually something that happened that was related to my father. My dad is still my hero up to this day, but my dad had to leave for training and that moment that he lived at as a three-year-old I took it as I'm not enough for him to say, oh geez, that's so deep. That was my origin story, that the brain injury was my. It was where I started. It was my dad and then I was able, through my journey of healing that, seeing it that he never left because of me. He wanted a better future for us, wow.

Speaker 2 47:15

That's powerful.

Speaker 1 47:17

Wow, but I didn't know it until I actually were able to go through this very, very deliberate mind management, able to go into my non-conscious mind and was able to see the roots, wow, and all the embedded memories, and I was able to deconstruct it on a deep, deep level and heal that and then reconceptualize and stabilize and grow this new belief which I'm now receiving evidence of yeah.

Speaker 2 47:46

So in the process of metacogging and stuff, was it like one day it hit you or was it like a series of days? Like wait a minute, this is leading me somewhere.

Speaker 1 47:56

It was, and that's what is so powerful. And that's what is so powerful when we stick to the cycle itself of 63 days. We create an automated habit, not in 21 days, but 63 days. Yes, thank you, I found some of my origin story. It was a journey and what's beautiful is the app leads you on this journey and you you're able to go deeper, and what we are trained as neuropsycho facilitators is we help you to get to the deeper, yes, and and also to deconstruct on a deeper level and also reconceptualize, especially some days that we can feel stuck like Healing is almost like a wound. See your wound and see the stitching. When you do stitching on a wound, it's like an up and a down. Are you saying a wound Like a wound? Yeah, you know me and my very random. Well, I love it.

Speaker 2 49:02

I just have to make sure you're saying wound and not womb, not womb wound. Sorry guys, you just gotta deal with me interrupting you all the time.

Speaker 1 49:13

Accent my accent is a little bit I love your accent. A wound, so you healing that wound and healing is not linear, it's not standard, and that's why the one size fits all approach is so not working?

Speaker 1 49:31

yeah, and it's like ups and downs, and so when we are down, we almost feel like it's, we hopeless and we feel lost, and so so the beauty of being an Eurocycle facilitator I can help you see that the down is needed for the up Stitching, the need to happen, and we're able to see it for what it is. And then also the Holy Spirit. We are able to utilize the guidance from the Holy Spirit, the way we are able to question the questions we ask ourselves, the way we are able to question the questions we ask ourselves, the way we are able to manage our minds. It's just a beautiful journey that helped me and that's why I believe in it so much. I've walked it and that's why I talk it and I love it.

Speaker 2 50:18

You know, I like how you bring the Holy Spirit in, because you could get real science. I mean, there's a definite science to this. But I got to say something. I tried the NeuroCycle app in 2021, maybe because I had the trauma still alive, but I couldn't understand what she was saying and maybe it was just a block, because I was in the midst of the cacophony and I'll never forget, even now, like I've gone through it and and even now it's like Alana it's making sense. I know what she's saying. So maybe you know that's why Alana's not here to get clients. She's probably stuffed with them. But that's why I really think, personally, you, you, you need the app and you just need someone basically to take your hand and say and just ask the questions that bring up the stuff. So, like this is like my second round and every meeting we've had it's been like major, like oh, didn't think of that. Or oh, you know, for me it was like a high. That is so freaking right. Oh, you know, for me it was like a high.

Speaker 1 51:23

That is so freaking right. What I love and I found I feel like it's finding me more and more and more as I journey and I get this desire to do it more and more and more, which is obviously it's in me to guide me, to be a compass. And so I'm digging into this. What does God really want me to do? I feel there's this. I love simplifying things. I think there's just because we can do hard things doesn't mean everything we do needs to be hard. Oh wow, and I love simplifying things, and so that is something that I feel is really that I enjoy is taking the science one, linking it with scripture and then simplifying it in a way that it makes sense.

Speaker 1 52:10

Because I remember well, I was signed up to go and I was on the plane and I was like I just need to read this book. She's probably going to ask us questions. I did not understand the word bless you. I now I know it. Yeah, but it's in a simplified way. You can't speak dr leave. No, there's no one that can speak dr leave. Or as fast as she can speak, yes, but I love that. I understand what she's saying now, but I can simplify it.

Speaker 2 52:44

Yeah.

Speaker 1 52:44

Because I had to first simplify it for myself.

Speaker 2 52:46

I appreciate that personally because, like I said, I couldn't understand it and then you simplify it. One more subject before we get you out the door Love and leave you. I would like to touch on this because you can usually go into this motorcycle process and I think I have a lot of women entrepreneurs who listen, a lot of women that really want to find their voice in their business, and obviously you may not have evidence of what you want. So you go into the gratefulness and the thankfulness mode, but can you? You share it a little bit? You actually shared a lot the last session and it was so good and it had to do. Please share again the fuel that drives the mission. Like you really want to go for it and you know I can tell y'all, I'm honest, this.

Speaker 2 53:33

Once we went through that, I felt like a leaf came off of me all of a sudden. I'm here doing the things I need to do. You know. Message here. Oh hey, let me help you here. I mean, I never had that kind of activity. Who knows, I might've been just caked in the trauma. But you said, sometimes resistance is a sign of direction.

Speaker 2 53:55

It's you that you're going in the right direction, and then talk about the mission, where that, that, where that, deep down, you go towards the mission and the money takes care of itself.

Speaker 1 54:07

Yes, I I remember when I started, started over my entrepreneurial journey. I just kind of make it for free. I'm just, I'm just going to give it away. I just want to give it away everything. And at one stage my husband asked me are you running a nonprofit or are you running a business?

Speaker 2 54:28

Oh, right to the point, let me take that out, honey.

Speaker 1 54:35

I wanted to offer everything for free because I believe that what I have to offer was not valuable and no one will buy from me, and that's why, if we want to change anything in our business, we have to address our minds. Our mind drives our brain, thank you, I have to say that as well. We have to address the belief behind it. We have to address our thinking regarding it to see the change that we desire, any feeling or accomplishment we aspiring to that. That missing piece is our mind. Wow, what happens is that I had to first get out of other people's people's wallets. I'm going to say that again. Say that again Out of other people's wallets. Oh'm going to say that again. Say that again Out of other people's wallets.

Speaker 2 55:25

Oh, come on. Okay, just a sec, let me unpin myself. Okay, you can go on.

Speaker 1 55:31

I've heard that lecture guys, I was like no, they can't afford it. No, no, oh, if I ask this, then I won't be able to afford it, and I was just so worried about other people's money that it was keeping me from making decisions. That was honoring the value that I have to offer, and so we let the mission fuel.

Speaker 2 56:01

That's it.

Speaker 1 56:02

Let the mission of serving others. I have this saying in my office it's not about you. That is my driving, my fuel, that knowing that, even when I feel like not showing up, it's not about me because someone needs me.

Speaker 1 56:21

Someone out there feels the way I felt years ago. That's right, and so it's not about me and I will continue to run in obedience with the light. The light is the ceiling on our dreams, with the light in my heart serving daily, even if one person shows up, if I can reach one person today, that's beautiful. That's enough.

Speaker 2 56:49

You know it's not about me. I believe that wholeheartedly for many years. But I heard something recently by this really godly coach. I see him on TikTok and he about pulls me over every time. But he said something okay, it's not about me, but as you walk in that healing, as you walk in, you okay, and all you're really thinking about is serving people. He said in my experience I've learned that people don't sign up with me because of my product or my service. They sign up because of me product or my service, they sign up because of me.

Speaker 2 57:26

Meaning when he says me, he means the healthy, whole me. It means authenticity. It means yeah, if I got to get some healing because I've got some jacked up stuff, I'm going to get healing. And what that does, it takes the pressure off thinking, oh, I got something big, I gotta have it. No, you just show up in your authenticity and no, it's not about you. And what that does for me personally I'm speaking from personal interest it really does flip to what can I do to help them?

Speaker 2 57:50

I've been there, or they need finances. So can I get excited, not about the company, but excited about that. I understand them and, hey, do you trust me. And then I want to speak in my own language. I don't want to speak in the company's language. I don't want to speak in the company's language. I don't want to speak in my coach's language. I want to speak in my language, meaning my tone, my style. So it frees you up. I hope someone's catching that that. No, okay, well, you're saying it's not about me. Yeah, when I say that it frees the authentic me, not the one who's like, listen, guys, if you got a credit card to pay off and you're trying to sell something, they can smell it down the street. That's what you got to just say, hey, it's not about me, it's not about my credit card. But the mission I have is about you, because I want to see you whole, I want to see you going in your God-given design and I want to see you get on that millionaire momentum because it is about you. Is that right?

Speaker 1 58:49

The outcome. I think the obedience is our responsibility. The outcome is God. So the people. I think when it's I love that you, that you said that, because when we say it's not about me, I think there's also a part of us that is not unringed to self. But it is that thing that you, when you make it about you, you are so worried about how you look.

Speaker 1 59:11

Sure, and there's something that might be under your eyes and your circles under your eyes, yeah, and you're so worried about yourself that you are not yourself, and they can spot that in a mile a minute.

Speaker 1 59:26

And so it is. When we say it's not about you, I think we speak into what we have to offer. Wow, that's so good, because what we're serving others with is the water, and that is not about you, because they might not be thirsty. They might not be thirsty and I also want to leave them with this. The way you perceive what you have to offer is super, super important, because a lot of the times we are fearful of rejection.

Speaker 1 59:55

Say, for instance, you come to visit me and this is regarding your offer right, and we know this is regarding your offer right. You know that. You know that. You know this can quench someone's whatever desire or what they need in their life. You know it can help them. I know that. I know that.

Speaker 1 1:00:12

I know that NeuroCycle can help you to take back control of your thoughts and your life. I know I have it's water. So when you see it as you offering water water to someone else and that is not about you, that's when we say it's not about you. This is helpful, it's not. The arrow is outwards facing and not inward, yeah. So when you come over for a visit and I'm like tea, do you want some water? And you're like no, thank you, I'm good.

Speaker 1 1:00:41

I don't see it as you are actually rejecting me, right, you are rejecting the water, right, you might have had a Starbucks coffee on your way to my house, and so it's not that fear of rejection. When we view it from a different perspective, we can one. I love celebrating anyone that's able to make a decision. That's freedom, yeah. And secondly, it's not about me, right, it's not a rejection of me. So I think it's super important that when we serve, that, when whatever we put out there, not making it your identity, not putting your all in there, because then often we feel rejected when we receive a no, I celebrate every no yeah, but you did offer it.

Episode Closing and Resources

Speaker 2 1:01:36

You had the. You still have to go through. I have something to offer, so you can't be all tied up into what people think. So you offered it. They weren't thirsty. It's not about me. I I didn't know we went this long and I'm sorry. We are like way into the hour mark. No way, golly. Thank you, alana. You gave us so much value. We'll have to do a part two, sister, sister, I'm sorry, we'll do that and I appreciate that you ended on that, because that was what I heard from you a year ago. Jessica Shakers, you shared that analogy and I was like, wow, that's it. Besides everything that you shared a lot and I was just like who is this person? I'm going to start following her on Instagram and now I'm blessed. She has been a reason for my healing. So if there's any testimony. So, alana, what's the best place people to get a hold of you?

Speaker 1 1:02:30

probably instagram they can find me on instagram or they can find me on my website. I'm pretty good with instagram. Please don't DM me on Facebook.

Speaker 2 1:02:42

Yeah, she won't see it, and it's Alana V Deventer on Instagram. So just so you know, you got to put the. It's not Venn. She marks out that Venn, and I think I put it in the show notes too. So she has a great website. Finally, alana van de venter dot com. Finally, finally.

Speaker 1 1:03:09

I think that's another subject for another day. I think we need to focus on the business cards and the websites and just we need to have the emotion of putting ourselves out there.

Speaker 2 1:03:20

It's a problem we need to have a business one, because so many women could just really benefit. I'm sure they did at the end. Mental, it's not just tell. Tell us about our mental life that we do weekly yeah.

Speaker 1 1:03:32

So once a week t and I do a mental life and we call it not just another ig. Live because we get wild and free, because that's who we are and authentically ourselves.

Speaker 2 1:03:46

We get kind of silly. We get our dogs and once my cat and we have so much fun. I'm serious, we have fun, but there's still amazing value. I just host it and try not to make Alana laugh.

Speaker 1 1:04:01

So there's some key nuggets, some golden nuggets in it, but while we're having fun.

Speaker 2 1:04:07

So be sure to follow Alana if you're not following her, because she's real good about letting you know and then you always can go to her wall and watch some of our past ones. I did that the other day. I was looking for something and I'm like, oh, I don't remember that and I sat there and just listened to it.

Speaker 1 1:04:28

It's just like oh, that's, I forgot about that. Okay, we will, we will, yeah, we. There's gonna be a good one, a good theme for how to start your day before you do anything. This if you want a morning routine that is needed for any other activity, morning routine that you've seen out there, this is the one step that you have to take before you do.

Speaker 2 1:04:48

I can't wait to hear that one. That keeps me curious. All right, alana, I am so appreciative of you and if you're listening live or recorded on our podcast, we appreciate you. Hey, share this podcast. Share this episode with someone, someone. This could be really the breakthrough of someone. Maybe you know someone who's down in the pits and they just won't reach from a gun, or maybe you know someone who's struggling so much that they're. Please, we're not trying to get a pat on the back, we're trying to get this kind of help to as many people as we can. So review all of that. Draws the ratings so people can find people like Alana, so dear. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. You Thanks so much for joining us for the Stack no More Voices podcast. For details on the upcoming Stack no More Voices Academy, be sure to check the links in the bio.