Life, Cancer, Etc.
Life, Cancer, Etc.
GRAPHIC CONTENT ADVISORY: Right after Breast Cancer Surgery with Kate
*** CONTENT WARNING *** We speak very graphically and specifically about breast cancer surgery, so please use headphones if you're around kiddos.
My sister Kate had breast cancer surgery last week. She thought it was important to share what it's like in the "limbo" after treatment so that others know what to expect and feel less alone. I love how honest and real Kate is and appreciate her willingness to be open and vulnerable.
Link to Kate's first episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1468990/episodes/9867650
NOTE: I am not a medical professional. Everyone on the "Life, Cancer, Etc." podcast is sharing their own experiences, not giving medical advice.
Photo © 2022 Kate Jensen
Content © 2022 Heidi Bragg
Keywords: breast cancer, invasive ductile carcinoma, breast cancer surgery, lumpectomy, breast cancer surgery recovery, breast reconstruction, breast lift after cancer surgery, mom with breast cancer, parenting with breast cancer
You can also find some episodes on our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/LifeCancerEtc
I'm Heidi Bragg and this is Life, Cancer, Etc. My goal with this podcast is to connect you with stories and resources that help you feel happier, more resilient, and less stressed, especially when you're going through hard times. So today I'm back with my sister, Kate, and we're here for what is probably part de of a three-part series. And so, Kate, why don't you tell them what you've been doing the past week?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, not much. Liar. I am eight days post breast cancer surgery. I had an oncoplastic lumpectomy last Wednesday. which is basically to say they take out the cancer, so they remove and reconstruct all in one go. You've seen my scars at this point. So basically... to not be too graphic or whatever. I don't know how you can talk about this and not be too graphic really, but, um, I'll put a little parental warning on the beginning of it on the, on the lighter side of things. Um, I appreciate my surgeon skill and I've never seen a Texas chainsaw massacre, but my guess is that if Leatherface like dallied in something and wasn't taking it seriously and then went back and decided to change it, that would be close to what my chest looks like at this point. Um, but essentially they went around the, the which is the colored part of your nipple is basically what that is. And then they went, um, so all the way around from there, if you can imagine, then straight down and then cut under my breasts, basically remove the tissue while they can work. And then, um, so both, um, breasts back down so they connect to where like my rib cage is they removed some lymph nodes as well and then they had to remove some breast tissue on the other side for symmetry because of course you know we don't want one to look like it's happy and younger and the other one It's old and sad and old. Is that what you mean? I don't know why, but it just
SPEAKER_01:does. Mine was like a rectangular box.
SPEAKER_03:No, mine was like two plastic hand grenades. So when you compress them, they look like a football that needs air in it, right? And so it's connected to this airline and you put the top on it like you would if you were blowing up like a beach ball or something. It has one of those little plugs. And when it's compressed, then it... it allows that suction to happen and they will literally bring the stuff out of your body that would otherwise just be fluid that would lead to lymphedema and things like that. Um, I'm, I'm doing exercises. I'm supposed to be doing it like twice a day. Now I remember it about once a day, um, for strengthening back and shoulders and, um, and arms and things like that. Mostly I think it's just to get the, the, the fluid and stuff moving around.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And, uh, And so showering is easier now and all of that. I did have, they did have on my second day in the hospital, basically the day after my surgery to go back in because I had a hematoma on one side. They figured this out because I had like sharp stabbing pain under my rib cage on my left hand side where most of the work was done. It's where the cancer actually had been. And
SPEAKER_01:the drain wasn't flowing properly. The drain
SPEAKER_03:wasn't working. The drain was blocked. Um, and I had developed a hematoma and my nurse was on it, you know, just like white on rice and rice. Yep. And so, um, and the doctor told me later, my surgeon, um, both my surgeons look like models. It's amazing. But anyway, the tall one, um, came in and said, um, you know, your nurse was right on it. And so that saved us a lot of trouble. So, um, at three in the morning, I was like, you know, I'm having a whole lot of pain and I was kind of due for pain meds, took something called, uh, Norco, which is like hydrocodone, I guess. And it didn't touch it. And then an hour later she gave me some morphine and it didn't touch it. And if morphine doesn't touch your pain, then you know, it's up. So by six o'clock I was in the operating room and they had bumped other people's surgeries and all of that. And sadly, um, We were two hours away from the hospital, which turned out to be a great hospital. But my husband had accidentally grabbed the wrong charger for his phone. So I couldn't get a hold of him, couldn't tell him I was going in, and all of that kind of stuff. Yeah, you texted me. I couldn't reach him. And so I just texted the family and just said, pray for me, something's up, and I have to go back in and everything. And I was just bawling and feeling real extra.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, in our faith, we have blessings, as I mentioned last time. And I was looking desperately looking for somebody to give me a blessing. And I was just like, can't you just page someone? This is a huge hospital. There is bound to be like we have a chaplain. I'm like, no, no, no. This is very specific. There is bound to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in this hospital somewhere. I just know there is. But then my surgeon was like, Miss Jensen. I have bumped, we decided to do this this morning. We've bumped everybody in the surgical suite just for this right now. So if we're going to go, we need to do it now or we can do it this afternoon, but you're in a lot of pain. And I said, okay. And I just, you know, said a prayer and my nurse fed one with me and it helped calm me down. And she's from, golly, originally she's from Nigeria, I think. And I hope to someday have the relationship with with God the way that this lady did because I just loved hearing her pray and it brought me a lot of comfort and so that and knowing that my husband would be there eventually got me through and in a way the surgeon said you know I know you guys are real close and in a way I think it would have been agony for him to find out in the midst of stuff that you had gone into surgery so we were able she was able to call him and talk to him right after I got out Awesome. So just after the fact was probably better and easier for him to deal with because then he could just come meet me at the hospital right as I was coming out of anesthesia. So that was really a blessing, but it was hard. And you only spent two nights in the hospital. Two nights in the hospital. That's just crazy. The goal was, so I'm not real, I can never sleep in the hospital. So, um, the whole like them, I mean, I know they got to take your blood and wake you up and all that kind of stuff, but there, there's not really any rest for me. So the goal was if I could go up, get up and go unassisted to the restroom by myself and the drainage from everywhere was good. You know, they were checking my fluid intake and outgo and all that stuff. Then I, they could release me because I was never like on a liquid diet or anything. And so, um, Yeah. So basically I went in originally on a Wednesday early, early in the morning. I had some markers and stuff for my surgery and they draw on you and stuff like a football field play about like six o'clock in the morning and then something like that. And then my surgery wasn't scheduled till 11. And so, yeah, they just, and then I was out by like two 33 o'clock that was Wednesday. And then, 12 hours later, I was having terrible, had to go back in about six 30 the next morning. So yeah, I just stayed the two nights and then I was able to get up and walk around once everything was actually working pretty well. And my nurses were kind of amazed at one point before I went in for the second surgery, I nearly fainted. I've never fainted in my life. So I was, I was just like, I did not know what was going on. Um, and it kind of just weren't working right. Yeah, things were just off. Blood pressure was high and all that kind of stuff. Anyway, but I came through it well. The nurses were just peaches. I just loved them all. Shout out to those ladies. I had one who found out we liked Indian food, and she was a mammography tech. She went home, got off her shift, went home, made my husband and I some dinner, and brought it back up to the hospital.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I would just, Oh, do you like this? Even called me on the phone to say like, how spicy did we like? I forgot the dish she made for us, but anyway, super sweet. Um, very special. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It just takes special people to work in oncology.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it does. And I mean, I was just even in, I don't know that it was in oncology so much as in like just recovery. wound care nurses, my last hospital where I trained, there wasn't any such thing. They just didn't have them on staff. So I had to learn how to take care of all that. And, and so now she was at age, you know, just a kid, she was like 24, 25 teaching the techs and the other nurses that are the RN trainees, basically stay in extra time, teaching them how to take care of stuff so that they can better take care of their patients. I mean, you know, and she's just, you know, she's half my age and I'm just like, man, I wish everybody had that mentality.
SPEAKER_01:Mike, my wound care specialist, if we're giving shout outs, Mike definitely deserves one. And my friend Heather does too, because she was a med surge nurse at Emory St. Joseph's in Atlanta. And she said, you're going to meet with Mike. He's fabulous. And he is. And he just got me through so many things when I had a stoma, when things weren't when I had an ileostomy and things weren't sealing right, Mike was just right there and just awesome. So I can't speak highly enough about wound care specialists.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, they're just awesome. So I had, uh, let's see, Eva, Amaka, Juan, who's actually from like Cambodia, I think, or somewhere. Um, so I was like, it's not spelled with a J. Um, and then I had a guy named John and Jorge and Amanda, and I'm sure I'm leaving somebody out, but they were amazing. They were just awesome. So I'm still
SPEAKER_01:friends on Facebook with some of my nurses. Yeah. Yeah. From like eight years ago. One of them was Ima and she's Nigerian as well. And she was, yeah, her faith was pretty awesome. It was neat to see.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I just love to like, and to me, you know, obviously you don't have to be a spiritual person to be in medicine, but I feel like it's such a, like most of those things where, you know, life is, can go either way are are sort of modified and processed whether it's grief or illness or birth or death through a spiritual side of things as well and so if you have folks who trust their skill but also are willing to believe in you um and believe in god i think that's even even Feels like to me, like even having more in your corner, but I had great conversations with people at like two in the morning and, Cause I couldn't sleep anyway. And they were, you know, I've just, just started my shift, you know, kind of thing. I had people come and check on me before they left. Like, Oh, how's my patient? I was hoping they'd move you. I said, they better not give you to somebody else, you know, like that kind of thing. And, um, just, they get invested. They do after, you know, and it's, it's like, I've owned, I've known you what, like 12 hours, but you've stayed with me that whole 12 hours. You know, I think it's, uh, probably something similar to how like combat veterans feel when they work together, but not for very long, you know, that kind of thing. Um, but anyway, they knew always that I liked the ice they had. Cause it was like the Sonic ice, like the good ice, crunchy and, uh, but soft. And then the cranberry juice, because I felt like, I felt like, you know, that tart, like right at the end, you feel like, okay, yes.
UNKNOWN:Um,
SPEAKER_03:I'm satiated. This will, this will last me for a little while. Cause I can't sit, just sit there and sip water. Never worked for me. No. So anyway, kind of silly, but so yeah, so the swelling's gone down a lot. When I was originally in this compression bra, I was in a double XL right as I came out of surgery. And now I'm just in a large, which I would have been
SPEAKER_01:getting better.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so the swelling's gone down, and the drains are out. But originally, bra size, I would have been in a large anyway, just with my typical size. So I'm sort of back-ish to my typical size, but a little swollen. But I still feel like me. I do have to say, looking at me in the mirror right now, when I'm about to get in the shower or whatever, is hard, because I've got peach fuzz... baby chick hair coming in, but it's still patchy. And I have, they took my port out. So I have the Medport scar and, and now I have, you know, these, my chest is, yeah, I see yours to match. And then I, now I have my, you know, my chest is just. Can I just say
SPEAKER_01:though, it's your perception of it versus how it looks. It really isn't. When you told me what it was going to look like, and then you showed me what it looked like. Yeah. it's, it was not nearly as extensive or graphic as you had made it sound. But I know it feels that way because it's your body because you're also Kate, you're also feeling all the stuff that's been, you know, screwed with on the inside. So it feels, you see that at least I did. I saw that as a symbol of everything else I was feeling.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. And I like right now too, just like your skin is healing and it's so it's itchy and, and that's a good thing but at the same time it kind of drives you nuts and I have pain meds but they give me nightmares and so I've just been relying on the Tylenol or whatever and it's okay I mean it's nothing I can't live with but it has you know I've had some a couple of rough days this week where I just thought you know we're in this so on my last chat with you I talked about focusing on the next evolution and how I love that quote and I'm like I'm in limbo right now. I don't know what the next evolution looks like or how long it's going to take to get here because in two weeks they're going to go and they're going to remove the tape from, that's protecting my sutures. And then in another month I'm going to have radiation. And so that will mess stuff up again in a way and shrink things. And so will I have a chest that looks odd when I'm in a swimsuit or whatever? And it's not like that's even that big of a deal, but like, When you look in the mirror, you know, there is no veil. You know, you see what you see. And I don't think I've ever had like body dysmorphic disorder or anything like that. But your perception of how you feel when you get in and you have a full length mirror in your bathroom, you know, all the perception is stripped away and it's just you. And I still think, you know, Life is a gift and bodies are wonderful the way they can heal themselves and stuff. And my husband got a little upset with me last week when I was pretty teary anyway on the way home. And I think it was mostly because he just hadn't slept. But again, he'd been through this before with somebody who didn't make it. And so I just said, you know, I just feel bad. I just feel so, I didn't use the word ugly, but I was just like, I just feel awful. And he was like, I'm sorry that you do. But five years ago, we might have been talking about funeral plans rather than when you're going to be up and around. And, you know, and he brought up a lot of good points. And I said, but I know what I look like. And he said, well, what do you mean? And I said, well, I've seen my chest. I've looked in a mirror and seen what they did after surgery. And I know they did it to save my life. And I'm grateful. But it doesn't make it easy. It doesn't make it easy. And it's, I know it's not a contest, but then he got it. He was like, Oh, sweetheart. Now I understand, you know, and I'm sorry for that. But again, what you think it looks like and what it will look like. And he grew up on the wrong side of the track. So he's like seen some pretty bad scars and such and bullet wounds and whatnot. He's very good at changing dressings. He found that out. Anyway, he was just like, you know, he can't always call the cops. Anyway. That misfit youth in London's paying off in spades. Anyway, but he's like, you know, when you don't have anybody to call, I was like, I thought you weren't a Boy Scout. He was like, I was kind of the opposite. But when you can't call the hospital, you got to figure out how to do it for yourself.
SPEAKER_01:I should have characterized it as misspent youth. I should have characterized it as colorful. Oh, God.
SPEAKER_03:The collage that is my husband. Anyway, he got in and I've seen those scars. And he's like, honestly, I've seen way, way worse that I knew weren't going to heal. He's like, yours didn't. the surgeon knew exactly what they were doing and they were as careful as possible. And even though everything is like five different shades of blue and green, because it's healing, he's like, it's healing exactly. It's what it should like look like at the point in your healing. So that was a comfort. Um, but yeah, the chemo fog still there. So that's hard to, um, dude, I locked myself out of my bedroom and, I don't know why we even had a lock like that on our bedroom. We have a key lock on the bedroom door. It was really odd. The house we rent used to be like a daycare. So I guess this was like an office or something. Anyway, so, but he's like, so you locked yourself out? And I'm like, yeah, I have my phone. I'll be fine. It was like noon. He came home within like 30 minutes. And I was like, so what are you doing? And he was like, I'm getting the door open. And I said, are you going to have to take it out of the hinges? And he said, oh, no. I'm good. Within about 15 seconds, he's like, we're good. It's open. I'm like, you want to tell me how you
SPEAKER_02:did that? I love Alex.
SPEAKER_03:No. So he's like, I won't tell you where I learned it or how long ago I started doing it, but here we go. So anyway, he saved me from several things. And I should just throw in here, my husband has been a law-abiding citizen for a very long time. And he came to God a long time ago. But there was that time. And there are some skills that have come in quite handy from that. And some
SPEAKER_01:fabulous stories.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So, you know, tattoos, memories, scars, and whatever that just– oh, my goodness, you know. Anyway. He's awesome. He's a wonderful man.
SPEAKER_01:I think, you know, it's funny. I'm going to tell you two things. So, first of all, a friend of mine, we were talking about– you know, how sometimes people split up when someone gets cancer.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And she said, right. And, but I know so many people who've stayed and, and she said, she said about Kev, Heidi, he didn't just stay. He engaged. Yeah. And, and Alex is that guy too.
SPEAKER_03:I would say that about my husband and the heartbeat. He was, we were just talking this evening. Um, I had ordered DoorDash from a little local joint here. And, uh, So we got our sandwich and our soup and bread bowl. When I eat a bread bowl, I always feel like I'm at a tavern or something. It's just something primeval about, I've conquered the day, leave me alone with my soup. Anyway, and so we're sitting there eating and I was talking to him about... how my taste buds have changed.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I've had upset stomachs sometimes with, with medicine, but sometimes just oddly they do. You go through phases. Like the hot flash thing has stayed for me from chemo and I stopped chemo in January and now it's middle of March and I'm still having weird hot flashes and trouble.
SPEAKER_01:Occasionally for me, the, the, the, the timing of those spaced out and spaced out and spaced out. I still have them occasionally, but that's rare. Well, that's good because if
SPEAKER_03:menopause is like this, it ain't no fun. I'm just saying. At least you don't lose your hair with menopause, but the hot flashes. Anyway, so we were talking about that, and he stopped for a moment. He was just quiet, and he said, you know, and he said, Leanna, who was his late wife, said she never really made it through the stage of where she got back to feeling like she knew what tasted good. on her taste buds, you know? And I said, well, she had a liquid diet. She was doing some alternative therapy as well. And he was at the end because modern medicine had nothing to offer her. And, um, and he said, yeah, they could do that way. They did all they could do. And so she was on, um, on a liquid diet therapy, uh, Gerson therapy at the time. And, uh, you know, and I helped her with that and, and that was rough, but he said, you know, and they had the two girls, two little girls at the time. And he said, uh, I didn't cook because I was worried about filling the house with smells of things that were too good that she couldn't eat. And I didn't feel like I could prepare. So I took the kids out a lot. I didn't know what else to do. And I just thought, what does that say about somebody? He is an amazing partner. Yeah, he really is. And he's invested and engaged and just amazing. So it calls me gorgeous and beautiful and brought me flowers today. And, you know, just all the sweet things that I think loving somebody, definitely it's a verb, but it better be a daily one, you know?
SPEAKER_01:So, um, we don't do big stuff on like our anniversary or Valentine's day. Cause I don't need to. Yeah. He's good to me every day. Not that we don't, you know, we acknowledge and whatever else, but I don't need a big gesture because you do the consistent gestures every day. single day.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. By golly, come home for a week and help me with the dishes. Like, I mean, you know, it's yeah. And, and I mean, I've never, I've never had to ask him that I can remember for help that way. He just does things same
SPEAKER_01:as.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So, I mean, I think that's a combination of hopefully people being, um, bringing themselves up or being raised right, you know, and or just becoming an adult and knowing what it's like to respect a partner because you want to be around that person. You want that person to want to be around you, you know. So I feel like that's a win for everybody involved. And I try to do the same thing for him, you know. Yes, you do. For me, it's bathroom towels. Our children use our bathroom. And they are little towel hoarders. And so by the time they get into the bathroom, there's like a pile of dirty towels on the ground. And then, cause they've forgotten to take them out, you know, and somebody will have used his towel. And so I'll go in and switch out his towel before he gets in to take a shower. And I don't say anything, but I'm just like, Ooh, that would make me so
SPEAKER_01:mad. I don't know. I think it was interesting because yesterday I told you Marie called me. So my friend Marie and she and her wife Cindy did a podcast. I think they're like the fourth one we did or something. And they talked about Cindy's breast cancer and her recurrence and how it had been treated. And they've since moved from Florida to New Mexico and they bought their dream property and they're building their dream house. And they're just awesome, awesome people. What? No, no, they've been together. Yeah. They've been married. I think they've been married 10 years and they've been together like 14 or something. Very definitely still together. But Marie called me yesterday out of the blue and it's the first time we've texted and messaged and everything. But it's the first time we've talked, talked since I'm, I moved out here and they moved to New Mexico. It was about the same time. And she said, I've been catching up on the podcast and I heard the one with your sister. How is she doing? What happened? I told her you had had surgery and everything. And I just think about, this, um, the community of people who have been through hard things and the kindness you see as a result. And it's, I know it's hard for you sometimes when people help you. Yeah. Well, it was hard. Yeah, I know. We're not talking about me right now.
SPEAKER_03:But for us to say, thank you to say yes, please.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, no, I'm the same. I like to be the helper or not the help. It's much more comfortable for me. Yeah. But it's that it's all of us who've been through it, Kate, or through other hard things that want to help. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I think that's a beautiful thing. And I really feel fortunate for, for everybody you've had on that has a partner who's invested in them or good friends or people at church or work or wherever, like your network, your family, your family, your friends and family, whatever it is. Yeah. I cannot imagine. I really, I hesitate to even go there mentally to think of somebody, particularly elderly folks, because it seems to hit them harder, going through this with nobody.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Nobody to take them, nobody to hold their hand when they're in the hospital, nobody to call because, Hey, I'm sick. And could I, could you please just run to the store and grab something for me? Or I need my medicine picked up or would you feed my dog or whatever it is? Like, you know, I can't physically just, I can't go there mentally because it's just too heartbreaking for me. I mean, I don't, I think it's, Cancer made me more compassionate as a young person when Mindy died. Yeah, our sister. When I was 12, and I was in the room when she passed, and I had been almost a roommate. Our rooms were adjoining. Through the 18 months that she was convalescing at home, through treatment, through being turned loose from treatment. She had a brain tumor, so losing her ability to talk four or five months before she died. Luckily, she could still write now. Um, and so on. But I mean, it had taught me compassion then, but this is a different kind of compassion,
SPEAKER_00:you know?
SPEAKER_03:And honestly, like when Leanna had cancer too, we were good friends, Alex's late wife. And so I had seen her have cancer and try to juggle, juggle a pregnancy. And she was driving two hours away each day to get chemo for like six weeks or something ridiculous. Yeah. Anyway. Um, so I would watch, uh, Eden, who is her, her, uh, oldest little girl. Cause he was what? Three. Oh yeah. No. When she first got it, I think she was like three and a half. She died when she was five and a half. Anyway. So yeah, I'd watch, watch her, her little girl. And then, you know, um, uh, that taught me something different, but then this taught me something completely different from the reverse side of things. And, uh, I have really appreciated people who know me, especially, but even more so people who don't know me reaching out to say, we're fighting for you. We're pulling for you. We're praying for you. Here's, you know, can we send you a dinner? Can we give you a gift card? Is there some place your family likes to eat? You know, whatever it is. Can I take your kids to practice or, you know, get them from school or whatever? And, you know, people you don't know very well. Just being willing to offer. And a lot of it, I think, comes from them having had a family member who's been ill or, you know, my mom also had breast cancer or whatever it is. It creates that network that is entrenched, I think, in empathy.
SPEAKER_01:The kid's principal at the elementary school when we lived in Georgia when I had the first cancer, Ann. Yeah. It's just an amazing, she's an amazing human being. And she had lost her daughter Amber to cancer not terribly long before. And she, They had a meal train. And I mean, this was our like first or second year at this school. We had not been there long. And those people were just amazing. And they brought freezer meals. And my lovely neighbor, Kimberly, kept them all in her freezer. And she'd say, what do you want tonight? She had a little spreadsheet. Here's what we have. She'd bring something over and she'd either cook it at her house or she'd say, I can bring it. I'm like, no, no, we can cook it. People, you know, there's a lot of, especially with what's going on in Ukraine. There is so much food. sad stuff in the world. But let me tell you, there are tons more fabulous people. They just don't get as much press.
SPEAKER_03:They don't, you know, it might not make the news. Although the thing that got me this week, and I don't think it was just because I was under anesthesia a couple of times, I saw the I mean, we don't have Russian ancestors that I know of or Ukrainian ancestors or
SPEAKER_01:any folks. We have Russian, well, Finnish and Russian, the people who were in Finland.
SPEAKER_03:And they don't get along. Right. When
SPEAKER_01:the borders changed, they were technically Russian at some point.
SPEAKER_03:We're not Ukrainian or anything like that. I know some folks who've been missionaries over there, kind of, sort of. I dated a guy who'd been a missionary in Russia and his twin brother had gone as well. But... you know, to see how the Polish people in particular, and I know folks in Moldova, I believe in Slovakia. Yeah. Lots of other countries have reached out. It's just, it absolutely makes my heart so glad to see those Polish mamas leaving strollers, strollers at the station. That got me to people who came in. Cause I thought that is such a mother. That's a mother heart thing. to do you understand the world differently because you've been a mother you know and I just love that and the whole thing I don't know if you saw that Utah Jazz bought out like 32,000 nights on Airbnb and because it's something they can do. And there's a platform already set up and we don't have to reinvent the wheel. We already know they're a reputable company. So they bought them out for places for refugees to stay in Kiev and elsewhere, in Lviv, I think, too. And just like, you know, even if you can do that for one person, for one family, people talk about, well, it won't make a difference. Well, heck, it'd make a difference. It makes a difference for them. You know, so of course it makes a difference for them. And it's just whatever you can do, you know. But I just, I mean, I feel like our folks. So dad was a policeman turned OSHA guy, um, and
SPEAKER_01:chemical weapons, bioterrorism guy,
SPEAKER_03:prevention specialist, prevention specialist. Yeah. And then mom was mom, you know, and, um, always had an interest in children and early childhood education and bettering her foster care review board. And I feel like we had, we came from the people who were, I would say started. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And so it wasn't any strange thing that I think, you know, we've had family members go into the military and family members become teachers and family members want to get an education or gain skills. Yes, to support yourself and feed yourself, but also to help others in a way that's really meaningful. And to make the world a better place. Heck yeah. And, you know, I hear... It was funny. I was thinking today, you know, I completely understand and respect the arguments people have about, you know, being careful with being responsible with the number of children that you bring into the world. Absolutely. But I also feel like I don't know that there is anything better than to feel like you're a parent of children who who you're trying to grow up to be good people, but that you know are already great people inside. And all you're trying to do is sort of help cultivate that for them more. And again, you don't have to be a parent to do that. You can be a big brother, big sister. You can be a mentor. You can be a youth pastor or just a good friend. I remember the adult friends I had when I was a kid and how much they meant to me and Or they treated you like a person. Yeah, they treated you like you actually could have an opinion about something and they respected you and they asked you how you were doing. It doesn't take much. I have 60 kids in school and I can just look at them and mentioned something. 60 kids in a classroom? No, like total. I have them for two hours each, so yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_03:I have six kids at home and 60 at school, and now I have Sunday school class of 17-year-olds. There's about 10 of them, and they're all their own people. God's trying to tell me something about my peer group or something because I'm never very far away from teenagers, and I've got three of my own right now. Anyway, so all it takes is just looking at them in the eye and mentioning something about a game they had or something they're interested in or the shirt they're wearing or hey how's that thing you talked about last week just to reach out to people I think is where the kindness starts but you especially see it as a cancer patient
SPEAKER_01:I think everybody wants to be seen right just to be
SPEAKER_03:seen and heard and understood the blessing I have in my partner particularly is that we understand each other on such a level that, um, we don't have to explain everything to each other.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that, I think you and you and Kev have that too. And so it's, it's just one of those, like, I'm not, I don't want to take it for granted. And if I need to discuss something, I will, but in general, I can't take it for grateful. Yeah. Yeah. I can take it for grateful and just realize that he's probably already thought about it from several different angles before I ever, it ever comes to my mind or to my notice, you know? But anyway, um, so I wanted to share something real quick. Can I, before we're done? Oh, absolutely. Um, so a book my friend gave me, cause I, like I said, I've had some dark days this past week and where I just kind of curled up on the couch and watch Netflix and, um, didn't do my exercises and ate too much chocolate and threw up. Anyways. So there's that. I have those days occasionally, you know, and, and being hard for me. And so, um, yeah, so that my friend said, what are you reading? And I just said, I'm not reading anything. And that's a huge red flag because I love to read. And so she gave me this book and this book is called take two chocolates and call me in the morning, 12 semi-practical solutions for the really busy woman by Emily Watts.
UNKNOWN:Um,
SPEAKER_03:And she said something about this. And I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling useless as a person, that is when I am the most depressed. And so and of course, I've been feeling that way because I haven't been able to do anything normally, you know, for my family and myself. My kids have been gone this week. It's spring break for them, etc. So I really have been on my own, which is not the best thing. But I really love what she had to say about talents. And so in scripture, there's a parable of talents and And of a landowner who goes away and to one servant, he gives five talents. And while he's gone, the servant makes five more talents. And so when the landowner comes back, he's really pleased with this fellow and gives him even more to be in charge of because he's made a difference with what he's been given basically. And then there's this one to whom he gave two talents and same thing happens. The guy doubled his money essentially. And the landowner is proud of him. The Lord is proud of him. And then to one guy, he gave one talent and, And what did he do with it? The guy buried it. And to him, to the Lord who came back, said, you know what? You've been ungrateful and you're not worthy of it. And he cast him out from his service. And so it's sort of an interesting... I always feel like that was kind of harsh, but yeah, okay. You know what? I always looked at it like it was too. But because he was like, I was worried something would happen to it. But I had somebody explain it to me later as, no, no, what it means is that... God or the universe or whatever you believe in has given you the gifts they've given you for a reason and they expect a difference.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Like the world should be better for you being in it. Right. So I don't think that's such a hard thing. I didn't get it until I was older
SPEAKER_01:though. What's that? I didn't get it until I was older. I'm like, you got your money back. Relax. You know, but it, but that whole thing about we are here now, From my perspective, because it's a Christian perspective, we're here to be Christ's hands on the earth. We are here to do the things he would do if he was walking with every one of us every day. Right.
SPEAKER_03:Because in reality, I feel that he is, but it's through other people that he's able to reach us more easily. He
SPEAKER_01:doesn't need to wash my dishes.
SPEAKER_03:Right. My husband's washing for me. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I used to think, how is Christ supposed to help me every day? Christ can't babysit my kids. Christ is not going to come in and do my laundry. But that's how he does it is he reaches out through other people, I believe. And anyway, I think other people who are just compassionate people want to help you anyway. And they can sense that there's a need at times. And I do believe in things like God winks and tender mercies and whatever else you want to call them. But anyway, this lady said something. She said something about this parable about the servants and the talents. And she said, I'm encouraged that the reward is the same for all who are faithful, even though the talents are different. So the one who got five more talents and the one who got two more talents were both rewarded and given more to be in charge of and kind of given accolades by their master when he's returned. It makes me think that the Lord doesn't need me to be anyone other than who I am. I don't need to carry the tremendous stress of trying to do things the same way someone else would do them. What he does ask is that I become the very best me that I can. I'm thankful for this because I'm pretty sure that my own best looks quite different from a lot of other women I know. I love that. And I've learned a lot from reading it. And shout out to my friend Stephanie for realizing that me not reading something was a huge red flag and letting me– loaning me her lovely book. But then there's this other one. In this time– transition that I'm in from one stage to another. I said to Alex last night or this morning, I can't remember which, I said, what is it that caterpillar thing does you know, do the caterpillar, like, don't they put themselves to sleep or something? Like when they're in the chrysalis, I wonder what they think about to get through to the, to the evolution of being a butterfly. He's like, sweetie, I think they hibernate or something. I was like, well, that sounds just fine to me. Why do I have to be awake for all of this? You know? And he said, ah, but Katie, and he's like the only person who's allowed to call me by my full name. He's like, but Katie, they don't have anything to learn. And I thought, okay, well, He's a wise man. But this is from Isaiah 40 in the King James Version of the Bible. It's 29 to 31. He giveth power to the faints, talking about God, and to them that have no might. He increaseth strength. Even the youth shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall. So the normally strong, you can't necessarily count on. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint. And I love that. It's Isaiah 29 to 31. And I was thinking about that as I was fainting this past week, literally, and trying to work up the courage and, I don't know, chutzpah, I guess, to... put my Fitbit back on and go for it. And I'm at 9,000 steps today, which are probably 8,000 more than I had yesterday when I was curled up on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and first of all, I'm proud of you for getting up. Second of all, if you feel like crap tomorrow, it's okay to take a day off or do a little bit less because you're healing. Your body's putting a lot of energy into healing right now, Kate.
SPEAKER_03:I guess so. It's hard to... I mean, I just, when you don't feel like eating anything and nothing sounds good and, you know, your body is hurts anyway. I mean, it's, it's no more difficult than anybody else's journey right now, but it is something that's hard for me. You know, I think, I think, good gosh, I could be trying to do this in a Ukrainian hospital that's getting bombed, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Like how thankful am I that I am where I am in the time where I am, you know, um, some cosmic, um, decision or accident or whatever at birth that caused me to be here and now where I have insurance and people to take care of me. And I pray every day and try to help those who don't. But I just feel like I'm superfluously blessed. But I also am trying to figure out how to be a new me that will not be the forever me because I'm supposed to be constantly evolving, right? And that's evident in physical forms right now too. So... I don't know. So we're in between a lot of things, but as you were saying, it's okay not to be okay or to have gratitude and grumble-tude or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_01:Those things can exist in the same space. And you know what? It's not always going to be like this and it will be different than it was before, but it can still be really, really good and amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I'm thankful for that most of all. I'm thankful for the hope that I have through faith and through modern medicine, honestly. Something I think is really interesting, with the exception of one person in my team of doctors, oncology and assistants and all of that, and surgeons and such, all of them have been women. All of them.
SPEAKER_01:That's interesting.
SPEAKER_03:And I just thought, how is it? You know, that I'm in the time, you know, what a blessing it is to be in the time and the space where, you know, it's Women's History Month this month as well. But also we're in that point where if my girls come to me and say, I want to be an auto mechanic, I say, that sounds great. If one comes to me and says, I want to be, you know, an oncologist, an oncology surgeon, hey, let's go for that. One of my little girls, they had a dress-up day two weeks ago, and it was dress how you want to be or who you want to be when you grow up. So, of course, my son goes as a park ranger, and my other daughter, she went as a– oh, I think she decided she wanted to be an epidemiologist, but nobody guessed that. Anyway, and then I had a little girl who went– She has this sparkly shirt with a football on it because she plays flag football at school. And I said to her, Natalie, are you wearing that shirt because you want to be a football player? And she just nodded and said, yep. And the older girls kind of looked at me and smiled a little bit. And her older sister turns and says, well, these days anything can happen.
SPEAKER_02:So
SPEAKER_03:I'm thankful for them too. And I've missed them terribly this week, but I'm glad they're, they FaceTime me in the hospital and that was, it was a wonderful site. It's very reassuring to have that from home. So I'm, I'm blessed.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you are. Well,
SPEAKER_03:I love you. I love you too. Sorry for chewing your ear, your listener's ear.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm glad. And I think, I think you're right. It helps to see the in-between. Yeah. It helps to see the in-between. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well, we live in between, you know, we don't live in absolutes. Anybody who does worries me. Yeah, I
SPEAKER_01:agree.
SPEAKER_03:Black and the
SPEAKER_01:white, you know, it's, but it's, I think it's important to show process. And I think that's probably what resonated with Marie is they've been through this.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, a couple of times and they, she just want to make sure you are all right. Just like me.
SPEAKER_03:I appreciate it. I know you've been through it. What? Three times now. So three
SPEAKER_01:times the trifecta trifecta hat trick. I don't know what you want to call it, but anyway, I'm hoping it'll stick with that. But if it doesn't, all I have to do is survive till the next treatment comes out. That's it. That's the next evolution, you know? Yeah. And that's okay. Yeah. I love you, Kate.
SPEAKER_03:Love you too. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01:I'm so thankful that Kate's the kind of person who wants to use her experiences to make life a little bit easier for somebody else who might be going through something similar. This week, why don't you see if you can do something that lightens somebody else's load? Then count your blessings and make it a great week. Thanks for listening.