Life, Cancer, Etc.
Life, Cancer, Etc.
What Happens If the Cancer Comes Back? with Bethann & Shawn Rapp
Bethann and Shawn Rapp shared their story about Bethann's lung cancer diagnosis last season. (You can find that conversation here: https://www.lifecanceretc.com/podcast/episode/4875ebeb/nonsmokers-get-lung-cancer-too-with-bethann-and-shawn-rapp). In this episode, they talk about how they're dealing with a recurrence, and I really appreciate them sharing how they're working through this experience.
NOTE: I am not a medical professional. Everyone on the "Life, Cancer, Etc." podcast is sharing their own experiences, not giving medical advice.
PC: Shawn & Bethann Rapp
Keywords: lung cancer, spouse with lung cancer, chemo for lung cancer, radiation for lung cancer, parenting a special-needs child during cancer treatment, recurrence, lung cancer recurrence
You can also find some episodes on our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/LifeCancerEtc
I'm Heidi Bragg. I'm a three-time cancer survivor who's also lost a lot of loved ones to this disease. My goal is to connect you with stories and resources that will improve your life so that you can feel happier, more resilient, and less stressed, especially when you're going through hard times. Join me as we discuss life, cancer, etc. Good morning, everybody. First of all, thanks for your patience. This is a one-person show, so to speak. I don't have any production staff, and so when I get sick, then everything just kind of stops. And while we were traveling, as we came back, I got COVID, and then I got post-COVID pneumonia, and I'm still recovering from that. So apologies for the delay, but here's a great episode follow-up with Sean and Bethann Rapp. Okay, we're back today with Sean and Bethann Rapp, and they did an episode last season where they talked about Bethann's diagnosis with lung cancer. And then, Bethann, why don't you start with just kind of updating us what happened from that point?
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so as of last May, I think, or the end of April, we I was given the all clear. I had finished my radiation and my chemotherapy. And a few weeks after I was finished with that, we did a CAT scan and it looked like all the cancer was gone. So I was just gonna start my immunotherapy drugs for, I was gonna do it once a month for a year. And that was supposed to increase the odds of the cancer not returning. So that's where we were at. So we were doing that. And then that was followed by every four, three or four months, I was doing a chest CT just to make sure that it was all working.
SPEAKER_01:And did they do, were they doing pets at this point too, or only the chest
SPEAKER_03:CT? No, just the chest CT. I think the first CAT scan was a chest, abdomen and pelvis probably to be more inclusive. But then when that came back clear, we were just doing the chest CT. So then, um, I think it was the early January of this year, I had a CT done. And at that time, they saw a new spot on there that they were concerned with. So I talked to my oncologist. He said, you know, I really don't know what this is. He's like, I can't tell. He said, if it were me or my family member, I would just say, let's watch it. He says, we'll just keep an eye on it. We'll repeat the CAT scan in two months and see what it looks like then. So then I followed up with my pulmonologist and he agreed. He said, I agree with what your oncologist is telling you. That's the same thing that I would do. And he told me at that time, he felt really certain that it was probably just scar tissue. So I was, we were, everybody was happy. Yay. It's just scar tissue. Cause he said 99% certain that that's what
SPEAKER_01:it was. And to clarify that happens a lot. I get all kinds of weird, like scar tissue, inflammatory stuff, whatever that shows up all the time. And we just end up watching it and, you know, doing more imaging later.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So I felt, you know, I felt okay with that. And we were just moving forward. So then March rolled along and I went in for another CAT scan. And at that time, my oncologist told me that the spot, I don't know if he said it had grown, but he just said that at that point we needed to do a PET scan to see what was going on. And I believe at that time, They've always been good about giving me reports, but I think at that time I opted to not read the reports from the CAT scan because I thought I don't need to scare myself reading what it has to say. So we had to wait a couple weeks for insurance to approve the PET scan. So when that came through, I did the PET scan, and we got the results back from that. my oncologist said, well, OK, the PET scan, the area that we were worried about, it lit up, which is indicative for cancer. But he said, but that could also light up if it's scar tissue or inflammation. So it still wasn't 100% oh, it's cancer. But I think in my head at that point, I was starting to have pain on my right side, the right flank pain. And they knew that was not a good sign. So at that point I was kind of like, okay, I'm pretty sure where this is going. Yeah. So at that point we ordered the biopsy or he ordered the biopsy and went in for that. Again, we had to wait for approval from the insurance. So that was another couple of weeks out. My oncologist said we were going to stop the immunotherapy because that was clearly not working like it was supposed to be. So we stopped that, had the biopsy done and that came back as positive for cancer.
SPEAKER_01:And is it the same? I believe yours was adenocarcinoma. Is that right?
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Yeah. Same, same cancer. And just, it was right next to where it had been before. So the oncologist said that it was actually, it's good that it was the same cancer. It said it's easier, more easily treated having it in the same area than had they found something in a different part of the body. Okay, so
SPEAKER_01:let's talk for just a minute about it. So I haven't had a recurrence, but I've had three different cancer diagnoses and every time it's like a kick in the teeth. So can you talk a little bit about what you guys were feeling at that moment?
SPEAKER_03:You know, once, well, when they came back and told me that it was positive, I was alone at the appointment. Cause it's still, you know, COVID protocols and really only one person went to the appointment. So, um, I thought, well, I'm going to ask some questions while I'm here because I know that everyone's going to ask me a lot of questions. And up until this point, I had kind of kept it quiet because I thought, you know, there's no work, no use worrying my family. Oh yeah. Yeah. They knew that there had been a spot in January that we were watching, um, But then I thought, well, there's no point in saying, oh, I'm doing this and that, and we're scared, and we don't know what's going on. So sitting in there with the oncologist, and I said, so what do we do now? And in my head, I was kind of like, okay, you know what? Timing's great. I work for the school district. It's almost summer break. We'll just do a little more radiation, a little chemotherapy. I'll be sick for the summer, and it'll be over again like it was last time.
UNKNOWN:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So I was asking him and he said, okay, well this time, um, he said, obviously, you know, the radiation and chemo didn't get rid of at all. And so he said what they wanted to find out was if, uh, I would, I can't remember how it was. They had to like send out my, my cells or something for some kind of like study. Yeah. Yeah. Special study to see if, if I was a candidate for a drug that I could take to make the cancer go away. And he said it would be an oral drug, just a pill that I would take a couple times a day. And he said, because probably they're hoping that maybe the cancer, the cells were kind of stuck in like an on position, like a light switch was stuck in an on position. So they were keep, they kept developing. Reproducing, yeah. Reproducing, yeah. And so he thought that if this drug, if I was a candidate for the drug, it would turn the cancer off. And so we had to wait and see how that came back. And that was going to be the next appointment. So then I said, okay, I said, so that's the answer to get the cancer to go away. And I said, what happens if I'm not a candidate for that drug? And he said, well, he said, you'd have about a year to live. He said we would do some chemo to keep it growing as slow as possible. And he's like, I'm telling you because you asked me. Right. And I said, yeah, I said, because I want to know, because I'm the type of person, I want the facts. It's worse if I don't know and I'm speculating.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, same. Absolutely. I think that's the same thing with children too. If you don't tell them appropriate for their age level and what they can handle all of that, but if you don't tell them what they imagine is usually far worse than the reality. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So came home and I told Sean that. And so, yeah, that was a lot worse. to chew on. We had about, was it a week or two weeks before we got the answer to that question to just think of, okay, am I going to get help for this or, and, or do I have a year to live? You know, we didn't know. And excuse me, sorry. I have a little cold. Yeah. Um, well, and you had Daxton to think about too. That was my big thing. Um, because at this point he's just turned 17. He has a year left of high school. His dad is living in Maui and not really, he's
SPEAKER_01:not
SPEAKER_03:super involved. Yeah. Yeah. He talks to him on the phone, but that's it. Um, so that's where I started freaking out. Cause I said, you know, if it were just me, I'd be like, okay, whatever, you know, it is, it is what it is. Right. But with him, I was like, oh my gosh. So I told Sean, okay, we need to get wills. We don't have wills done. I need to start thinking about housing for Daxton if he's going to go into like a group home. I need to start researching that. So my mind at that point was really starting to fast forward to the, okay. if this is worst case scenario, where do we go from here?
SPEAKER_01:Well, and for those of you who haven't listened to the first episode, Daxton has special needs and Bethann has always been his primary caregiver. And so those are very real, very poignant questions that have to be answered.
SPEAKER_02:24
SPEAKER_03:seven caregivers. So there's, yeah. I mean, Sean helps out too, but it's most of it all
SPEAKER_01:falls on me. So, and that's Daxton. I mean, you and Daxton have this bond that he doesn't have with anybody else. Correct. Right.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, exactly. Exactly. So it was going to be really traumatic too, you know? So we were just worried. And I think at that point we decided, or I decided that I was going to share it with my family. I thought, you know, I think I'd rather let them know now that this is what's going on. So, so a, they could start praying and, and, you know, being spreading the word that way. And then, you know, that way I thought it would be, if it was lush, it'd be less shocking if it was,
SPEAKER_01:because it kind of gives them a little bit of time to adjust.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, exactly. So that's kind of what we were doing and just holding tight and, um, waiting to see what happens. So.
SPEAKER_01:I remember Sean asking for a few minutes at our staff meeting. I think you and I talked before that maybe, did we?
SPEAKER_00:Or after? I'm pretty sure we did at least for a little while before that. Yeah. Yeah. And certainly afterwards as well.
SPEAKER_01:Cause Sean told us, he said, if this drug works great and if it doesn't, we asked and there is no other option for Bethann. This is it. And I, I, I personally feel like some people don't want to share their business and I get that. They're very private. But for me and for our family, it has made such a huge difference to have those prayers or thoughts or light a candle or do an affirmation or meditate, whatever. We've gotten this groundswell of support from so many people and it really does lift you up, at least for us. Cards or text messages. Right. For sure. And just knowing that people have you in mind, knowing that you are not, yes, you're the primary person experiencing this, but you are not the only one there. There are people who are with you.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So you get the study back.
SPEAKER_03:You get the study back and find out, yay, I'm a candidate. So that was good. We were hopeful in the sense that my oncologist said that it's usually non-smoking women that are the best candidates. So
SPEAKER_01:I'm filing that away for later.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. And just in case your listeners don't know, I am a non-smoker. I've always been a non-smoker, grew up in a non-smoking household. So that was another little bit um, of the shocking part of having the lung cancer diagnosis too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. In fact, that's the title of the first episode. Non-smokers can get lung cancer too. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, exactly. Um, so, uh, they said I was a candidate and again, we were waiting for the insurance to approve the drug. So we finally got that approved and I've been taking it now for three weeks. Although, um, We kind of have a little joke because I talked to the nurse in depth before I started taking the drug. And she told me it was two pills twice a day. But when I got the prescription in the mail, it said four drugs twice a day, four capsules. And I'm like, oh, the pharmacy messed up. Because I'm like, I talked to the nurse in depth about this. So I took my... two pills twice a day. And then I was seeing the doctor two weeks after I had started to take the medication because we had to make sure that my body was responding well to it. And so I said, oh, look at the pharmacy messed up. And he's like, oh, no, no, you're supposed to take four twice a day. So he was joking with me and said, okay, well, your first two trial weeks went great. Now we'll start the real stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Have you noticed a difference in how you feel on the The two twice a day versus the four?
SPEAKER_03:I'm not sure because it's only been a week. Just actually starting today, I felt a little nausea. So I don't know if that's going to be something to deal with. And
SPEAKER_01:is it chemo or immunotherapy? I
SPEAKER_03:don't know. It's just a pill that I'm taking. I don't know really what they classify it as. Exactly. It's alexanib, I think it's called something. I don't know. So I'm not sure. I don't think it's chemo because he said it's, he said very few people have reactions to it. But when I first started taking it, I noticed like the first five days or so I had a very mild headache, but my eyes were really light sensitive. So Anything
SPEAKER_01:like migraine inducing drug or something.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah. But then it kind of went away. So I don't know if that was just my body adjusting.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Um, I do know I'm fair skin anyway, so I've always been prone to sunburn. So I've always been careful. But with this, I burn really easy. I, um, I work at a school, elementary school, so out on recess. And I'm like, if I'm out there for 20 minutes, I'm burned red. Oh, wow. So, yeah. So I have to be real careful. I have my little sun hat and put a little sunscreen on before I go out. So, yeah. But besides that, I haven't really had too many problems. The one exciting thing about it, I was telling Sean that about two or three days after I started taking drugs, the half dose of the medication, my pain went away. That's awesome. Which was miraculous. I'm like, I'm like, dude, that means like it's shrinking because that's what usually the pain is caused by it rubbing on something. And I'm like, that means it's going away if the pain is going away. So the pain's almost entirely gone now. That's awesome. Nice side effect.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Right. Yeah. Like that one. Okay. So, um, Sean, do you want to talk a little bit about what that was like for you? Because it's really hard when you think you're in the clear and then something else happens.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I know we were sort of on pins and needles for those couple of weeks, but when she finally got the word back that she either was a candidate for this drug or she had a year to live, the floor sort of fell off from underneath me and my heart just kind of left my chest. It was really gut-wrenching. And it was hard to kind of hold it together for a day or two just because I didn't want to even think about worst case scenario. Right. You know, I wanted to be positive about it, but it's really hard when you've got this black cloud sort of hanging over you because you've got this specter of news that may or may not be true.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and you guys have logistical things that you had to have a contingency plan for.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_01:No matter what. So you kind of have to have that conversation. Has that... Sorry, go ahead and tell me the rest of what you were going to
SPEAKER_00:say. Well, I was going to say we sort of went into that contingency mode and started making plans and talking in depth about what needs to be done in case we're given the bad news. There are still things we still need to take care of, even with this being the best case scenario. But it's not as urgent right now as it would be if we had gotten the worst case scenario.
SPEAKER_01:That's good. Well, and it's It's funny, I described it to people as this. Once you've had cancer, it's like there's a guy with a gun to the back of your head following you around and whispering, I can pull this trigger at any time. And Kev said, yeah, babe, everybody has that guy there. You can just hear him talking. And that's the difference. And I'm actually, I'm doing therapy right now. And the therapist has me figure out a new way to kind of envision that. because she's like, how is that serving you? And it's like, well, you feel that need to be vigilant. You feel that need to check things out when something new happens or something new hurts or whatever. But I kind of just think of it as, so I have this different picture in my head that's like this large finger of God flicking that guy off to the side and this voice just kind of in my head, like you're still alive and I have a plan for you.
UNKNOWN:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:And I'm trying to look at it through that lens because it does, there is like that specter kind of hanging over things and you have to, part of why I'm in therapy is figuring out how to live once you're done fighting quite so much, like then how do you shift to looking to the future and not just damage control? It's been interesting. Okay, so... Um, so what kind of monitoring and stuff do you have to do now? But then, so now, um,
SPEAKER_03:when I first started the drug, I think for like three months, two or three months, I have to go in every two weeks to have blood draws to make sure that my body is handling the drug. Okay. And then after I think the three months is up, we do another cat scan to see how things look. And then, um, Then he said it would turn into like once a month appointments to check the blood work. And then we would stretch it out to six months. So just kind of be on this indefinitely. Yeah. And yeah. So we went, yeah. So he said, if there comes a point that it stops working or isn't working, he's like, you know, he goes, well, at that point, you know, three, four years down the road, he's like, there'll probably be a new drug that would work. So it just seems very hopeful in that I said, how does this work for people? And he said, there's people that have been on this drug for a long, long time. for years. So it just, that's awesome. Yeah. I've been thinking though, it's kind of like, dang, it's four pills twice a day with a meal. And so it's just like, oh my gosh, it just feels like kind of endless, you know, like one, two and trying to remember to take them. But I just kind of look at them like each pill is keeping me alive. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's pretty cool. I don't know. I just think it's really, it's interesting to, to think about it that way. Because I said to somebody the other day, the same thing, it's like, we just have to stay alive until the next treatments develop. That's it. Right. Yeah. And there will always be things. And I, I mentioned to my people back at Moffitt in Florida, I'm like, you guys are all brilliant. You're very, very good at what you do. I'm not planning to go anywhere for a good long time. So y'all just work it out and you tell me what we're going to do next. Yeah. And, and, um, I think having, we have the same local oncologist Bethann and I do. I think having a collaborative relationship with your oncologist is critical. They're a consultant, they're not God. They're very knowledgeable people who have studied this in depth and they can help consult with you as you're figuring out what you want your next steps to be. So is there anything you would do differently? Or is there anything you think people should know when they deal with a recurrence? You
SPEAKER_03:know, I thought about that. And my best friend and I talked about that because we were thinking, you know, back in January, should I have just said, I want to go ahead and do the biopsy right now? because I've had cancer, let's move forward. Because by the time when they first saw that abnormality in January, by the time I got the biopsy done, it was April. I mean, that's four months. In my head, I'm thinking four months of cancer growth. But I guess in my case, and I don't know yet because I haven't had the follow-up CT, but I feel like just from the pain going away, I feel like, well, it worked out fine. So I feel like it was okay because I followed the doctor's recommendations and it all worked out. But had it been something different, maybe I would have wanted to start the treatment sooner.
SPEAKER_02:But
SPEAKER_03:I don't know. You can't play the what if game. And I think just based on the facts that I have now, I think it was handled appropriately. I had great doctors. I knew and trusted them. And I took their advice and I know that they were communicating with each other because they're in different offices. Um, and they both agreed with my plan of treatment and I just felt like it was, I felt it happened like it needed to happen.
SPEAKER_01:I like that you said it that way. Cause I also took their recommendation on, on a pulmonologist. So I have the same pulmonologist as well. And they're both are oncologists and pulmonologists are very involved. They're not, they're, um, They are, they're those very collaborative people. They wanna know what's going on. They want to get it right. You know, it's not, I've never felt, I've never felt like I was just a number to either one of them. And to me, that kind of a relationship, you have to go to people you feel comfortable enough with that you can ask good questions And that when you guys come to a consensus, you can trust that that's the best you can do right now with what you know. And I think it makes a difference to feel that kind of comfort with people. I tell people that's why I keep flying back there, too, because those are the original people that saw me. If I need chemo, I'll deal with my local doctor here. But that relationship
SPEAKER_03:is critical,
SPEAKER_01:in my opinion.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. And I agree. The doctors there are so... I feel like they're, even though I know they're extremely intelligent and very well educated, I feel like they talk to me on my level that I can understand. And they almost feel like the kind of guy should be like, hey, come on over and barbecue. We're barbecuing Sunday. Let's get together. I mean, it almost feels like you have a friendship with them, you know, just because they're so personable and caring
SPEAKER_01:about their patients.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I know some people have said they've been in, and I think it's a rarity because I think special people go into oncology. It takes a very special kind of person to do that. And I know of some people who've said, you know, their oncologist was just cold or whatever. Number one, like I said, I think that's rare. And number two, then you need to find another oncologist because you need to have someone you can have faith in you can have trust in and someone that will hear you and be willing to answer your questions.
SPEAKER_03:I think that's even more important in this day and age with COVID because like I mentioned earlier, I was going through all of that by myself in the doctor's office. They allowed Sean to come to the first appointment. And after that, I was on my own. And it was so wonderful where I was having chemo because the nurses were fantastic, the staff, the doctors. I felt like when I went in there, I felt like I was seeing my friends, you know, it was just wonderful. I mean, even to this day, one of the receptionist at the front desk still knows my name. She greets me by my first name when I check in and it's makes me feel so it's just makes you feel cared for. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, you matter to them. Yeah. Um, so has this, um, has this whole experience changed your plans for your son and, and what kind of, you think the future might hold?
SPEAKER_03:Um, it's changed a little bit in just the fact that when, um, like Sean and I talked about, we need to get, uh, our, you know, will set up. I need to get a trust set up for Daxton. Um, I need to think about group housing for him because, um, Again, with his dad living in Maui, I don't think there'd be any way that Jackson would go live over there if something happened to me. I think he would need to have something set up here where he could go live because he's almost an adult.
SPEAKER_01:But he'd still have your family and Sean around, right? Yeah. So,
SPEAKER_03:yeah, I still definitely want to be following up on those type of things, just making sure things are in place. And like you said... Your metaphor was exactly correct as far as it's like someone with a gun to your head following you around. You just never know. You never know because it surprised me in January. So I'm like, well, you never know that if in a couple months down the road, something else pops up. So I feel like now I just need to have more things in order. I'm like, even stupid things, like I'm like, I need to go through my closet and really clean out those clothes. Because when I first got sick, I'm like, people are going to go through my stuff if I die. That's weird. And so I'm like, I need to like get rid of some stuff so that it's like more organized. And they're just like, why does she have these pants from 1996 in her closet? You know? Yeah. That's hilarious. It's like Marie Kondo
SPEAKER_01:cancer. Cancer diagnosis of Marie Kondo sweeps in and helps you clean out your closet. I don't know about you, but having that stuff in place, I think I told you guys, I don't remember, but when we didn't know how it was going to go, when we had been told we could tell the kids, we think mom's going to be around for Thanksgiving. This was in July. We think mom's going to be around for Thanksgiving, but we really don't know after that. And having that conversation, as I've said, numerous times was the worst part, the worst part telling our kids. Um, but then we got things in place and we had a friend who did, uh, like end of life planning, funeral planning. And he said, we're not setting a date. We're just making a plan. And at first I hesitated and didn't want to do it. And then I told him, you know what? I think that's a good idea. So he came over and he did a plan for both of us. But that was a very hard thing for me to wrap my head around. But once we were doing it, it was just more like, oh, peace of mind. Yeah. Oh, peace of mind. And any of those things we checked off the list about the what ifs also gave us peace of mind so that in the worst case scenario, we're not dealing with stupid logistics and trying to find an attorney or a group home placement or whatever when you're at your most raw and vulnerable and exhausted.
SPEAKER_03:Well, that's good advice. that's a good recommendation for anybody because things happen, you know, car accidents happen things. Anyone can get sick at any time. And it's like, that's not when you want to have to deal with planning those things. You want those things in place so that when you're grieving or going through a hard time or sick, that you don't have to worry about those things.
SPEAKER_01:You know, that's a really good point. Yeah. So anything else you guys want to share before we close this out, anything else you've thought of that you think would be helpful for other people or that you just a message you want to get out there?
SPEAKER_03:Not really just kind of what we talked about before. I would just reiterate that, um, you know, use your friends to lean on because I really think friends and family having that support really does make a difference. You don't feel so alone, especially if you're like a single person, um, I had a friend who just went through breast cancer and she's single. And so she didn't have a partner to do it with her. And, you know, I kind of, she lives in Seattle. So I couldn't really be there for her physically, but I thought, oh, she doesn't have somebody to go home with her and make sure she, you know, she's at home doing okay after her radiation treatment or whatever. So, you know, it's important that you have a good support system.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think that's critical.
SPEAKER_03:And don't be afraid to take advantage of things. Like at the cancer center, I got a notebook that had like, if you're going through treatment, you can sign up for this complimentary one free meal, like one free dinner a week. Like they wanted to provide a nutritious meal for your family. And At the time, I was kind of too sick. I just didn't even deal with it. But I'm like, gosh, we should have utilized that, you know? Because Sean likes to cook. So I was just like, I was sick. I didn't want to deal with it. He was cooking. We were fine. But that would have been helpful for him not to have to worry about that free meal. So if there are services like that available, use them for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I took a free hat. Yeah. You know what I mean? They knit those hats for you when you're in chemo.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't lose all my hair. I lost about... a third of my hair, two thirds of my hair.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. For those of you who didn't see her before the headphones were on, her hair looks fabulous.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you. I do have really thick hair. And so we actually joked, my hairdresser and I joked that after I finished chemo and radiation, she says, well, now you know what normal people feel like with their hair. Because she's like, you lost about two thirds. Because I would sit and I could see through the back. I could see through Now it's thick and you can't really see through it. But I'm like, yeah, it's pretty sparse.
SPEAKER_01:No, you look great. And I think you really do. And you guys sound really good too. And I think maybe the main thing I'm getting out of this is you're going to freak out because that's normal. But a recurrence is not an automatic death sentence. And I think a lot of the stuff once you've had cancer once is just maintenance, like maintenance on an older car.
SPEAKER_02:You're
SPEAKER_01:going to have to go in regularly. You're going to have to get stuff done from time to time. You may have to replace parts and all those kinds of things, but the car can still run. Yeah. But be vigilant about those things.
SPEAKER_03:Don't, don't postpone or don't put them off. Make sure you're staying on top of it and make yourself a priority because if you're not taking care of yourself, you know, your family needs you. And so you've got to make sure that you're being taken care of so that you'll be there for your family. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's a very good point. Yeah, that's a very good point. It's
SPEAKER_03:easy. Moms know that it's easy to put yourself, well, I'll take care of myself later. I got to do this. I got to do that. And pretty soon it's to the point where you're just like, sorry, it's my turn. And when you, when you've had cancer, you have to make yourself a priority.
SPEAKER_01:But doesn't that feel weird
SPEAKER_03:sometimes? It does. I got a sticker at work that said self care isn't selfish. And I like that.
SPEAKER_01:I, Okay, I'm gonna say this briefly and then I'm gonna hear what Sean had to say. So this is my year of working on my health, right? Not just getting back to par and par is at a new place, but trying to improve my health. I'm doing a lot of hiking. I'm working out with a physical therapist who's also training me. I'm doing massage and chiropractic care and my cousin's a nutritionist. I'm just trying to get as healthy as I can be so I can be as functional as I can be for as long as I can be. And sometimes that feels really selfish. Cause that stuff's not cheap, you know, and it takes a lot of time, but I'm seeing great improvement. And Kev's like, what's the alternative?
SPEAKER_00:It helps you be at your best.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Well, because you need to be as strong as you can be before you get sick. That was one thing that they really reiterated to me was that, you know, if you're not in good condition to begin with, once you're going through that chemo, I was, I was sleeping for days after chemo and you, you just get weaker and weaker and weaker. So it's important to be as strong as you can before you go there.
SPEAKER_00:That's very true. I think this has kind of helped us make some lifestyle choices as well. Changing our diet, making room for more activity, you know, just trying to get healthier. And I think that not that, that wasn't a goal before, but I think it's just kind of become a little clearer.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So, cause I mean, at this point I don't want anything to happen to either one of us. Right. So it'd be nice to be a little bit healthier, feel better, you know, be in a little bit better position so that we can face that again. If we, if we, if something does happen, we're in a better position to face it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. And it does make a difference. And like Bethann was saying, if you can, if you crater during chemo and you're like, you don't have a whole lot of like, you're already really thin or you're already sick or you're already compromised in some other way, it is really, really, really hard on your body sometimes depending on the drug. And then some people sail through and don't have any trouble, but it can be. And so it's good to keep that in mind ahead of time. I'm glad you said that. Well, thank you both. I just, I think the way you're handling this is a great example to other people that while it's going to be a pain in the butt and you're going to freak out initially and you're going to be really irritated. If you're like me, I would be really irritated. I was every time like, are you got to be kidding me? But it can be manageable and there are options.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. It reminded me when you said that I write a Christmas letter every year. to send out with our Christmas cards. And I think last year I said, I was, I was decided to tell people about my cancer diagnosis and my cancer journey. Cause this sounds kind of morbid, but I thought, well, if something happened to me, I don't want them to wonder like, where did Bethann go? She was, she was, you know, she just disappeared. So I thought I would just kind of share people. And I said, you know, 2020 was hard with COVID. and I said this in my Christmas card letter and I said, but then 2021 said, hold my beer. And then I said, and I can't remember if I actually wrote it or I was thinking it, but I'm like, Now, 2022 can't get any worse. And I'm like, and then I got the new diagnosis in 2022. So I think I'll refrain from saying anything like that again. But yeah, it's just kind of like, it's kind of like, oh my gosh, like you said, you kind of get like, now what? It's like, it's been a rough couple of years and it's just, but you know what? We just go on and we keep fighting because that's what we do. And some people will say, how do you do it? I just don't know how you do it. And you don't have a choice, right? Exactly. What's the alternative? Yep, so every birthday now it's like, yay, I'm getting older. You know, that's great. I get to celebrate another year, you know.
SPEAKER_01:We had a, Sean and I had a friend at work, a coworker and a dear friend of mine who actually helped take care of me after my first cancer surgery who did not make it. My sister didn't make it. My dad didn't make it. So whenever anybody's griping about their age, I'm like, hmm. Think of the alternative. You're still here. Yeah, definitely perspective. Well, oh, gosh, like right upside the head like a brick. Thanks, you guys. And you guys literally daily are in my prayers. So just know that there are a lot of people who are so grateful for the news you got and are so grateful to see you going on. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks, Heidi.
SPEAKER_01:Thanks. I love how Bethann and Sean's story illustrates that a recurrence, while scary, is not the end of the world, and that you can work with your health care provider to find solutions for a long and healthy life. As you go around the world, please do something nice for somebody else to make their burden a little bit lighter. Thanks for watching and listening.