Life, Cancer, Etc.
Life, Cancer, Etc.
What's a Radiation Treatment Like?
Starting treatment of any kind can be intimidating. Hopefully, this short essay about one of my radiation treatments will help demystify the process. P.S. I took this photo in the courtyard at Moffit Cancer Center when I was about halfway done with my six weeks of radiation.
NOTE: I am not a medical professional. Everyone on the "Life, Cancer, Etc." podcast is sharing their own experiences, not giving medical advice.
Photo ©2018 Heidi Bragg
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I'm Heidi Bragg, and this is Life, Cancer, Etc. My goal with this podcast is to connect you with stories and resources that help you feel happier, more resilient, and less stressed, especially when you're going through hard times. For this week's episode, I wanted to talk a little bit about what a radiation treatment is like. When you're starting cancer treatments, well, in my case, when I was starting cancer treatments, I had seen a chemo room, those kinds of things, but I had no idea what radiation would be like, except for what I'd seen in TV shows and movies and what I'd heard secondhand from family members and friends. So I wrote this personal essay relatively soon after I got my radiation treatments a couple years ago, and hopefully it will help demystify things a little bit for you if you are in the position of having to go through it. You think about a ton of different things when you're on the table in the radiation treatment room. During the actual treatment, I'm visualizing my heart tissue being protected while the machine zaps the leftover microscopic cancer cells in my left atrium. My mind also wanders a lot. I've talked with Michelle, one of the radiation therapists, about 80s and 90s music after she told me she went to an Echo and the Bunnymen slash Violent Femmes concert. She usually turns off their standard Pandora station and YouTubes bands like Yaz, Depeche Mode, and New Order for me to listen to. You have to stay completely still, which is hard for me when I'm hearing music. I used to dance to two to three times a week during college. Before I get on the table, I have to strip down from the waist up and cover myself with a towel. There's a form on the table that's kind of like a beanbag that's been shrink-formed to my body. When they created my treatment form, they also gave me three tiny tattoos to use as markers so that my body's positioned just right for each treatment. Kev and I joke about it being like a bad college party, topless in a beanbag, bad tattoos, etc., There's an image of a beach scene above my head, along with a mini Where's Waldo game where people are supposed to find the five Waldo images you can see from the table. I settle in, clasp my hands above my head, and the therapists start making minute changes to line everything up with the tattooed dots under each arm and in the center of my chest. They call out measurements and confirm that this is really me and that my left atrium is the area being treated. The machine is 89.6 millimeters from my center tattoo. I know because they verify it every day. Then the therapists leave the room, close the blast door, and the machine makes three complete circles around my body, pausing after each circuit. The first one is a scan. This is so the therapist can adjust the table remotely and make sure my current position lines up with my radiation plan map. The next two passes are the actual treatment, and you can tell when they start because of the annoying buzzing sound the machine makes. During the treatment circuits, I try to breathe mostly using my belly because my chest needs to stay as still as possible. It was hard at first, but now that I'm 24 treatments in, it's easier. After the final pass, the machine moves back into start position. The therapists open the door and lower the table. We chit-chat while I get dressed, and I head back to the waiting room to find Kev. He's usually walking around the outdoor courtyard reading a book on his phone. Sometimes we'll see somebody ring the bell to signal that they're done with treatment. When I'm done, I'd rather have a flash mob to Yaz's move out. I mentioned that to Michelle, who chuckled, but I don't have high hopes that that will actually happen. It sounds weird to say, but when I'm done with treatments every day, I'll miss the people I've gotten to know in radiation oncology. When you've got nice people helping you in a critical, frightening point in life, you get close quickly and open up in ways you might not with some rando stranger on the street. I'm incredibly grateful that if we have to go through this, we're exactly where we are, working with some amazing people and a first class cancer center. Okay, and I wrote that in 2018. So I was... three quarters of the way through my treatments. I did 30 treatments every weekday for six weeks in a row. And yeah, the effects from the radiation continue to play out over the next, they say year to 18 months. And I think it might even be a little bit longer. So for me, that The radiation and chemo I did literally saved my life. Sarcoma usually comes back in like eight to nine months. And I'm going on three years out. And so far, so good. Knock wood or plastic. But you still end up with residual effects. For example, there's some scarring in my lungs. And that's why I've been so careful about COVID is because my lungs already are compromised to a degree. I still, I ride my bike, I take walks, I do all those kinds of things to try and keep things healthy. But I noticed like if I've laid off for a few days, it's much more evident than it was before I got radiation that my lung tissue is tight and it takes a while to kind of stretch it back out again. It's a lot harder to breathe when I first start exercising because sometimes I've had to lay off after a surgery or after an injury and your reconditioning time is increased, right? quite significantly. I wouldn't do anything differently than I did during treatment, and I'm very pleased with the results I've gotten. But you do have to look at the side effects you're going to have from these treatments and be aware that you're probably not going to go back to exactly where you were before. You can get to a good point. I have a good quality of life and I'm able to, you know, move and exercise and travel and all of those things, but it's not quite as easy as it was beforehand. However, I'm not dead. And to me, that's a major win. So when you're evaluating treatments, I don't think you need to be scared of this stuff, but I do think you need to go in to each process with your eyes open. Anyway, that's all I have for this week. If you know somebody who's going through a hard time, please share these podcasts with them if you think they'd be of value. And if you've got questions you'd like answered, please email at lifecanceretc, that's L-I-F-E-C-A-N-C-E-R-E-T-C, at gmail.com. And I will do my best to answer them or to find somebody who can. So this week, please do something nice for someone else. Look for the good, count your blessings, and make it a great week. Thanks for listening.