Life, Cancer, Etc.
Life, Cancer, Etc.
"We're Not Dying with Cancer; We're Living with Cancer" with Jean Pressley Whittaker
Jean Pressley Whittaker is a realtor par excellence and an all-around lovely human being. In this episode, she describes how she and her late husband chose to spend their time after his terminal cancer diagnosis. Her perspective is incredibly helpful and very insightful.
NOTE: I am not a medical professional. Everyone on the "Life, Cancer, Etc." podcast is sharing their own experiences, not giving medical advice.
Photo courtesy Jean Pressley Whittaker (https://www.jeanpressleywhittaker.com/)
Keywords: kidney cancer, terminal cancer diagnosis, end-of-life planning, best life with cancer, spouse with terminal cancer, kidney cancer recurrence, cancer recurrence
You can also find some episodes on our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/LifeCancerEtc
I'm Heidi Bragg and this is Life, Cancer, Etc. My goal with this podcast is to connect you with stories and resources that help you feel happier, more resilient, and less stressed, especially when you're going through hard times. Hey, everybody. Before we start today's episode, I wanted to give you a little bit of an update about what's going on with life cancer, etc. First of all, we're putting together a website and... I'm really excited about that. You'll be able to access all the podcasts. There will be some blog posts as well and a resource list among other things. Next, we're also putting together a YouTube channel. So for those people who don't necessarily listen to podcasts but are familiar with YouTube, it makes it an easy place for them to go and access the resources. The next thing is that my family and I are moving cross-country, so this will be the last episode of Season 2. We will start Season 3 on or around August 1st, and we'll be spending the summer finalizing the website and the YouTube channel and recording more interviews with experts and people who are willing to share their stories to help you feel happier, more resilient, and less stressed. I think it's really important that people know that they're not alone and that they know that even when things are really hard, they can still be good. Okay, now on to today's episode. Today, I'm speaking with Jean Presley Whitaker. And Jean was our fabulous, fabulous realtor. And we just love her. She's awesome. And the reason she's on the program is not to talk about program podcast you know what I mean the reason she's on here is not to talk about real estate but because about almost nine years ago correct Jean lost her husband and she's going to talk a little bit about the loss of a spouse and what that process was like and you know, the tips she has for people who may be going through that, et cetera. And I'm just, I really appreciate you being willing to tell your story.
SPEAKER_00:I'm happy
SPEAKER_01:to, I,
SPEAKER_00:I, I kind of call this, this is a group that you never want to be part of. Um, but you, I don't think you really understand if you, unless you've been in that group. Um, some, um, When someone says, you know, before I lost my spouse, when someone said, you know, I know how you feel to someone, you don't know how they feel. And it is it's so devastating that I feel in talking to people that have lost a spouse or a partner that. if there could be something good that comes out of this is the ability to talk to someone that way, uh, because you feel so isolated and so alone and only you are feeling those feelings.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So I'm sorry about the echo. You guys, we've tried numerous ways to get rid of it. So there's just going to be a little bit of an echo and I apologize, but Jean, tell us about, um, Tell us a little bit about you, and if you don't mind, tell us the story of you and your first husband.
SPEAKER_00:Sure, absolutely. Well, I grew up in Connecticut, moved to Florida in my early 30s. I was married in my late 20s, and we moved down to Florida. My parents had retired here, and we kind of left corporate life, and I started in real estate, and my late husband actually had been a vice president with a... a big box company and had come down here. And in Florida, Bell's is really well known. So he became a regional director for Bell's in the interim and then joined me as a team. And we ended up opening a real estate company, not because we wanted to, just because we wanted to work in a certain ethical space. professional manner. And so that's why we opened it so that we could operate in that time in that way. And my parents were here retired and I was able to take care of them and become their parents and take care of them when they passed away. So that was kind of a gift that I could give to them. And then we had opened our real estate office in 2002. And in a My husband realized there was an issue and I was actually up. I was handling the death of my father when we understood that this indeed was cancer and kidney cancer. We sort of had kidney removed and I did all the research overnight and I became the expert in it. And I told the radiologist exactly what he was going to check and the surgeon exactly how he was going to remove it and everything. And it seemed to be gone, you know, for seven years. And then it came back with a vengeance and then came back a stage four. And what I did is kind of asked how much time we have. And we did a bucket list. So I said, OK, what do you want to do? Where do you want to go? And so we went and visited a lot of family and friends. And we ended up in a lot of hospitals and a lot of places along the way because something would happen and trigger it. But we got to go see the people we wanted to see and have those times and have my nieces and nephews and the kids to see, you know, dad and Uncle Dick and all those things and great memories from it. And then he, as it spread, You could tell that the end was nearing, but it was really interesting. A friend came to me when when it was rediagnosed, because a lot of people didn't know in the very beginning that he had cancer. We had a business really kind of kept it quiet. I handled the business and I knew she was about to say, oh, I'm so sorry. And that's the first thing that you want to say and put on that sad face. And I didn't want to see that because I didn't want to allow myself to go there. I said, stop. We are not dying with cancer. We are living with cancer. And so that, so it was that answer. And I, I understood the flip side of is the first thing when you hear of someone having cancer or being ill, you go, Oh, I'm so sorry. And you want to make, you kind of have that sad face. You want to reach out to them. Don't do that. It's hard for them. They're keeping strong. You want to keep strong. And that was my first aha of how I could help. better communicate with someone that either they have an illness, a serious illness or someone in their family did. That was my first thing. I call it a two by four in the head that I got of how to communicate. Don't do the sad face.
SPEAKER_01:So what would you advise people to do when they hear because they want to do something? Yes, they do. What would you, what are some of your, like, if you've got phrases or ideas that they could use with people they care about, they want to express that care in a way that doesn't bring down the mood kind of.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think you want to prepare yourself of what you want to communicate, just like when you're a trainer or business person, you practice what you're going to say inside your head because your mouth has muscle memory. And if you haven't said it before, you kind of go, I'm so, you know, and stumble over it. And so I think you just want to be prepared and kind of say, you know, I heard of your illness. Is there anything I can do? Is there anything I can do? And you don't frown. You don't give sad face. You don't do that. I think that's true. And I
SPEAKER_01:loved it when people would give us, like they'd say, I can do this or I can do this. Would you like meals or would you like this? Because sometimes you've got decision fatigue to the point that you just give me a binary choice. And that would be great.
SPEAKER_00:And that's excellent tip because people don't want to ask for things. Oh, it'd be so helpful if you did this or you don't want to ask. But if you can offer what you're comfortable offering, would you like a meal delivered? Would you like a gift card to a restaurant or would you like someone to dog walk your dog when, you know, and be prepared of what you're willing to give? Right. And then that's great. They can pick something. And if they say nothing, listen, would you do me a favor? And you wait for them to answer you. I always say you wait for a nod or a grunt and you wait for them to answer and say, when you do, please don't ever hesitate to call me, leave me a text, leave me a message because I'm here to do that for you.
SPEAKER_01:And I think the text or the email is important because you get you. I didn't have the energy to talk to people. So physically or emotional energy. Exactly. I was just exhausted and, but I could text and I'd be like, yeah, that'd be great. Thanks. I'm not really up for talking to people, but I, I want you to know how much I love you and I appreciate that you want to do this for us. And that was, um, I think you offer them as many ways as possible to communicate with you, like you just said, so that they can pick the one that works for them when they're at their worst and their tiredest. Yeah.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And except the fact that they don't want to retell the story of what the radiologist said or what they said. They've already said it a bunch of times to family. And by re-saying it, they relive it. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I would put it in a thing on Facebook or I'd send a big family text and then copy it to friends because I'm like, I feel up for doing this about one time.
SPEAKER_00:And then... And then I need to move on because when you're repeating it, whatever you're hearing, it repeats in your head. It becomes your DNA. So you want to get out of whatever negatives you heard and either get in a restful place or a positive place.
SPEAKER_01:I agree. Besides the travel and the visiting people, how did you guys prepare when you knew it was getting close to that point?
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's really interesting is I really took my tips from him, from my late husband, is if he wanted to talk about it, I let him talk about it. If he didn't want to, he was a very private person. And although we were married for 28 years, he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about it. And I honored that. If he didn't want to talk about it, I think the only thing that was said to me and we were driving to a restaurant. I was taking him to all kinds of good restaurants. We were driving down to Boca Grande and to a restaurant we really like. And he put his hand on my leg and he said, you won't let me suffer, will you? And I said, no, I won't.
SPEAKER_02:It's
SPEAKER_00:really I wanted to take the lead from him. And I think then the hardest thing I had to tell him eventually was that I was having a nurse come to the house and he nodded. And I had to tell him it was the hardest thing. It is hospice. And he said, I don't want to leave you alone. It's a hard one to lose. Yeah.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know about your experiences with hospice, but in our family, with my sister, with my father, with friends, they have been a godsend for us as far as managing the meds and everything else they do for the support people.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, for me, I can't even imagine. I was able to keep him home. And he was able to pass away at home. I've only heard one person that there was a mix up between and another location mix up between doctors and hospice. Don't assume that the doctors communicate with hospice. Be proactive. If you're a caregiver, you have to be that medical advocate. You have to learn what that is. You research it. You bring a list of questions and ask the doctor. Look at the one you're caring for and say, gee, I noticed this or I noticed this. I was able to bring him in say, is this shingles? Oh, yes, it is. Let's address it. Is he dehydrated? Okay, let me bring, bring the, leave the port in. I'll bring him in every morning for some IV fluid. You can be proactive. One of the things I learned over time is doctors are not gods.
SPEAKER_01:No, they're human beings. Yes. And I think we expect them sometimes to operate at this godlike level, but we have to take into account the fact that they're humans. They have a specific area of expertise, but they don't know everything in the world and we shouldn't expect them to. We have to take responsibility.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. And not in a derogatory, negative way. You want to ask questions. And one of the best things I've learned over the years, caring for my mom, my dad, my late husband, others in my family is that When the doctor gives their prognosis or this is the action you should take, and I say, I figure out how that person would be aged to that doctor, whether if this were your mother, if this was your sister that you really liked, a sister that you liked, what would you tell her to do? And all of a sudden the doctor's kind of going, I always kind of joke about it first is if, if this were your mom that you, and you liked your mom, or this was your sister, your brother, and you really, and you liked them because that kind of breaks the ice for them. I go, what would you have them do? And I do this. I actually lean back and I just wait because then they're, they're taking this person and, out of their role of, here, I'm telling you this, and I have to deliver this news to, oh my gosh, if this were my sister or my brother that I really liked, what would I have them do? What would I tell them the positives and the negatives of something? And I've always done that. And I think, unfortunately, I've become the caregiver person for the whole family when they go to a surgical. I just did a surgical thing with my sister-in-law. You ask those questions because you want to really understand here's this treatment. What would they recommend to someone in their family?
SPEAKER_01:Right. I love that. It's so funny that you said that. Cause I said the same thing. If this were your sister and you liked your sister, you've got to put the like in there. Yeah. And it does, it breaks the ice. It gets them to think of you as a person and they get invested in you as a person, as your care goes on. And I love that because it's, When you walk in there, I mean, it's just like somebody walks into your office and says, I want to buy a house. You don't know those people. But once you get to know them, you understand more of what their goals are. You understand more of what their likes and dislikes are and areas of concern for them. And I just think that's a really good idea about how to personalize your medical care.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And you've got to remember on the flip side, you're seeing nurses and, excuse me, receptionists and doctors that are sometimes giving this terminal news. This is what they do a lot. And they have to emotionally detach themselves. And so what you want to do is kind of in a nice way, break down those walls and make this very personal because you want that doctor, that nurse, and even the receptionist when they greet you to know who that person is. It was a world of difference when I I was bringing Dick in for chemo and radiation checkups that they knew who he was. And they joked with us as we came in because that was a huge part of our life. And so one of the things that I did when Dick passed away is I had done a video memorial with music. And to the oncologist staff and to the radiologist staff and the cardiologist staff, I got chocolate-covered strawberries. And on a silver platter and the CD, and I wrote a note, I said, you gave us a gift of 18 months. And you allowed me to take him and get fresh croissants and blackberries. And you allowed this to happen. You allowed this to happen. I said, just remember how hard it is every day for you and the gift that you give to your patients and their family. Oh, that's beautiful. They need to hear that because I can't even imagine being in that role every day, knowing that person may not come back.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I think it takes a very special kind of person to work in oncology.
SPEAKER_00:It is a gift that they give to us. And I can't even imagine the weight on their shoulders. So I wanted to let them know what a gift they gave to us.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.
SPEAKER_00:Don't. You're our favorite. We like you. It's one of the ones we like. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:No, but 20, 30 years from now, whenever that happens, I love that. Because... The people that helped me, and we had to be really aggressive because of the kind of cancer, especially the cardiac one, the second, the middle one. But we had to be really aggressive with it, and there was a chance that that could have killed me, whether it was the really hard chemo or the really intense radiation directly to the heart. It's not something they normally do. And I love these people for being willing to try. And three years later, I'm here, and as far as we know, cancer-free. So, yeah. Absolutely. Okay, so are there any things you wish you'd known at that time or that you would do differently if you had to go through a similar experience?
SPEAKER_00:You had sent that question over to me, and I don't know if I would have other than... is once you or a family member is diagnosed with cancer and you've had it treated or whatever, I wouldn't ever let them extend your next checkup to a year. I would always say three months or six months. I don't care what the doctor says.
SPEAKER_01:That makes sense.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you're not the only person that has said something similar. And I'm on every three months now. But I have weird stuff crop up all the time that they have to check. And guess what? They found another cancer because I was on that every three months. And that cancer is now gone.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I don't care what the doctor says or what the nurse says or anything else. That's okay. This is really important to me that we do this. And you just smile and just keep standing there until they book that appointment.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, killing them with kindness. So what would you say, what are some of the biggest things you've learned or your biggest takeaway from that experience?
SPEAKER_00:I was always very business driven. I'm still very business driven.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and you're incredibly professional. And she's like a freaking machine for selling a house. I'm not kidding. We were so impressed with all the procedures and everything. processes that you had set up and it worked like clockwork. It
SPEAKER_00:really did. Thank
SPEAKER_02:you. And
SPEAKER_00:those are systems that I've developed. And what I think I should have done is taken time to actually more for myself and my family but more for myself and it's very interesting because and i don't want to be um chauvinistic on this but women take tend to take less time for themselves i i think either their mothers or sisters their daughters um grandmothers and um I think we tend to put ourselves last. If there's time, we get to that. You know what? There's never time. And even it's a moment just to breathe. I think and make taking that time out, you know, finishing my day at five o'clock and sitting down and having an evening with a spouse and. I think I would have done that a little bit more. And there's something that a friend of mine once told me, said, you should treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. That was that blew me away. I was like, really? Well, I would take time out for my best friend and I would go and find her the best raspberries for a treat. Or I would go get the special sourdough bread or I would go do this or make sure, you know, we would relax and watch the waves on the beach. And I would never think of doing that for me. That's a pretty rare occasion. And so if you take away anything, I say, you know, treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. And I think it'd be a different world for you. You meaning everybody. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think Kev is the one exception to that taking time for yourself thing. Cause he's, well, you've met him, you know, he's adorable by the way. Oh, he is. He is. Best thing that ever happened to me for real ever. Well, I think it's likewise. I do love that man. Um, Okay, any other tips and tricks that we haven't talked about for someone who's going through this, whether it's an initial diagnosis, a recurrence, end of life care, any of that?
SPEAKER_00:I think the thing is that you stay in today. Okay. And someone once said this to me, and it's more graphic than I would ever think of, but I think it actually does put it in perspective. Someone said, imagine you're standing upright and you've got one foot, right, in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, right? And he said, if you do that, you're peeing on today. Is that the best
SPEAKER_01:visual? From now on, Jean Presley Whitaker, that's going to be in my head when I think about living in the moment. Is
SPEAKER_00:that not the best visual? Yeah, it's perfect. I was like, you've got to be kidding. And how much do we worry about what we should have done yesterday and didn't get done? And you're going to push this on tomorrow. You've got to do this tomorrow and this next week. And you know what? You know what? Don't pee on today. That
SPEAKER_01:is my
SPEAKER_00:favorite
SPEAKER_02:thing you've ever said.
SPEAKER_01:Awesome. Now I've got to draw that up. I'll have the kids make a meme for me because it's just perfect. Okay,
SPEAKER_00:so... That's stuck in my head. So, yes, it would be about staying in the moment, living in the today.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And just worry about doing the next right thing, whatever that thing is, and stop. If you project all the way out, you're going to go crazy. And it's funny because healing, we think of this as... And I'm drawing a line upward and to the right with my finger. We think of it as... you know, upward progression is pretty constant, but it's more like
SPEAKER_00:this. Oh yeah. There's good days, there's bad days, there's good news, there's bad news. Um, And you can read anything into anything. You know, is this good? Is this triggering something bad? And I think it's just about being in the moment. And I'll tell you what, I would never would have said that 20 years ago because I was like, let's do this. I was control this. Let's get all the systems in place. Let's do this. This is going to happen now. And one of the things we know is we have control over nothing, ultimately.
SPEAKER_01:Well, and even when you feel like, The odds are stacked against you. I mean, you guys got 18 months.
UNKNOWN:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:With stage four renal cancer. I mean, that's pretty darn incredible. And pretty good
SPEAKER_00:quality months, except for the last few. We did things. It was really about being in the moment and just sitting and being. And sitting and being was the best darn thing. Yeah, because
SPEAKER_01:that's the stuff. That's the stuff that lasts. Those are the things you take with you, those moments, right? Well, interestingly, I call
SPEAKER_00:them Kodak moments. Now, for the younger people who doesn't know what Kodak is, that's the film that you would take pictures with. But even when I was a kid, I would still remember there'd be certain events and I would take a picture in my head. And it'd be something, it could be nothing, it could be something, but I have these Kodak moments in my head and I have them throughout my life. And it's like this rotating picture thing. And it's great to just, and some of those moments are just sitting on the beach and our feet are there and the waves are coming up. It could be watching a sunset. It could be any of those things. And just take those little Kodak moments in your head.
SPEAKER_02:Or
SPEAKER_00:cell phone pictures in your head.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so what are some bucket list items now in your life?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I've got to tell you, and I've got to add to this, is when my husband passed away, I'm a very strong person. I'm a very, very strong person. I couldn't believe, I couldn't believe that I was just lost. And I thought, my gosh, I should be able to move forward. There's no right. There's no wrong. Listen, what I did for two weeks is I actually after a while, I went back to the office and I every night I would wash those clothes because I couldn't make a decision of what to wear for two weeks. I wore the same clothes. I just washed them every night because that's all I could do. I couldn't I couldn't go beyond that. And I would actually sit on the edge of the bed and look at the floor. And I didn't know whether I was there for three minutes or an hour. And so be kind to yourself. Don't set any timeline. I actually because, of course, I'm very scheduled. Hospice offers a counselor. So I said, OK, I should. This is probably something I should do. So 30 days I went to the counselor. I said, OK. And I cried for 45 minutes. my time was up and I left. I'm like, well, that didn't go so well. And so I thought, okay, three months I should go. And so I went in three months and I cried for 30 minutes and I kind of talked for 15. And then six months I thought I should go. And then I actually was able to talk and I found out this counselor lost her husband seven years ago and she still had those moments of sobbing. So there's no, don't, Don't try to put yourself on a schedule and don't try to, you know, it is what it is. Also, life goes on. And one of the things I couldn't believe and I figured out what I had was survivor's guilt. I remember I was with my niece, and this was probably about seven months later. I'd flown up to see her, and I was leaving. She was driving me to the airport, and I actually laughed out loud. It felt so good. I hadn't laughed in seven months. But then you felt that. And then I thought, oh, my God, how can I laugh when he's dead? I mean, literally. Don't you have to live? And what I did in two years is I bought a fixer-upper house that I needed to gut. and redo it because I didn't want to, but I knew I had to do that to move forward. Um, and then ultimately a friend gave me too much wine and put me on match and wanted me to date somebody. And I'm like, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. And everyone is, this is years later. And, and I finally said, cause I'm a business person. I said, well, this, if this was a business thing, every year I look at my life at the end of the year and there's a book called the one thing and it looks at a balance of your life how are you in all these categories well all these categories are really good except personal i just i couldn't go there and um i even had a client take me out to dinner and i thought it was i thought it was a dinner him thanking me for buying house and i realized it was a date because i said is this a date he goes yeah i go oh no oh no no no no oh no take me home now um So ultimately what I ended up doing is like, well, okay, if this was business, I do it. So I'm going to have one date a month. Gosh, darn it. I'm just going to do it. And I never thought in a million years, I found a very nice man who understood that I wasn't going to stop loving my late husband. And he just asked for enough room to love him too. And You're making me cry. It took me a while to be able to do that. And my family and friends were like, Jean, come on. And we were married. And he's a wonderful man. And I'm so lucky. to have two wonderful men in my life. And that's more than I deserve. And it's more than a lot of people ever get. Thank you. But it's just to say that you haven't died.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And they wouldn't want you to act like you had.
SPEAKER_00:No. Right? No. No. I mean, that was Dick's thing. He said, I don't want you to be alone.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so I guess the thing that I can say to everybody is be kind to yourself. And be OK. There's no specific thing that you have to do at any specific time. There's no right. There's no wrong. I've known people where a spouse has passed away after long illness and they become a friend of theirs becomes a significant other. It's whatever works for you and you don't need to have a significant other. It's whatever works. you want to have, but don't think of protocol or what you should be doing and what you shouldn't be doing. Just be kind to yourself and don't isolate yourself. I isolated myself longer than I should. I would come home and I'd stay in my cave. Um, and it's so funny that I did that and friends would invite me out and I just couldn't, I just couldn't because I really wanted him to be there and I would get there and I'd start crying. And, um, Bottom line is you have to go there, get there, start crying, go to the bathroom, mop it up and go out there again. And
SPEAKER_01:I think that's a good point to know, too. It's not like you're doing something wrong. If they start crying, you've got to let them grieve. And it hits you at such weird. And I've never lost a spouse. I can't even imagine. But even just with siblings and my father and friends, it's never when I expect it. It hits me at like weird moments.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know, and it can and don't not talk about the person. I think one of the best gifts you can give someone is to talk about the person that passed away because that way they live on in the book written by Mitch Albom is Tuesdays with Maury. I love that book. And in that book, he was a sports writer and a rabbi. who had not passed away yet, wanted him to write his obituary when he passed away. So he would spend Tuesdays with Maury, the rabbi, so he could get to learn about the rabbi in order to be ready to write an obituary when he needed to do so. And in that book, the rabbi said, don't stop speaking that person's name. It's by speaking that person's name that they live on. And so I talked to my kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews about my mother, Nana. This was Nana's favorite Christmas song. This was Nana's favorite thing. And to the kids, I would say this was dad or uncle Dick's favorite thing. Or remember when he, we did this. And remember when he did that, those things. That is a blessing to their heart when you share those stories because they live on. And people are usually uncomfortable in talking about it. It's okay if that person cries. They're allowing that person to live on. I like that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think being okay with people crying is hard, but it's super, super helpful. Yeah. I just need you to be here in this moment with me. You know, you don't have to do anything. I know I'm a hot mess. That's fine. Let me get through that.
SPEAKER_00:Bring tissues with you all the time.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So places, bucket list things for you. I
SPEAKER_00:think the bucket list things are to watch every sunset. but not see every sunrise. I can sleep through a few. And I actually did things because I always wanted to go to some concerts, but they're always so darn expensive. So a few years ago, I bought tickets in Madison Square Garden because Billy Joel was there. And my good friend in Connecticut, Karen, that I grew up with, I said, Karen, I'm flying up. I've got tickets. We're going to go. So we went to see Billy Joel. And then a couple of years ago, I had to be in Las Vegas for business. And so I brought along Phil, who's my wonderful husband now. And we went to see Elton John. I paid a ridiculous amount for those darn tickets. But we were actually pulled up on the stage with Elton John. Shut up. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Here's Elton John. Here we are kind of dancing. And so my next is Andrea Bocelli. Oh, that
SPEAKER_01:would
SPEAKER_00:be a great.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Elton John's one of the best concerts I ever went to. Yeah,
SPEAKER_00:it was awesome. So I think there's things that I that I, you know, I put aside because I would never spend that money on me, you know, or something as frivolous. So I saved up and these are life experiences and they're so fun. I did it with people that I love that would really enjoy that moment. To me, it was a gift to them. And it's also a gift to me. No, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. My friend Elizabeth has bought tickets for us. She loves Pet Shop Boys and I like them too. But we went in Vegas before I had the second cancer. And then she bought tickets. It's going to be at the Hollywood Bowl, I think in October and November. And I've always wanted to go to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl. So we're going to go down with her friend Julie and my friend Steph and it'll be great.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's great things to have those planned.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. What's your favorite place to be or places?
SPEAKER_00:Wherever I am right now, wherever I am, that's my favorite place to be because I make the best of every moment is if I'm working with a client, that's my best moment. Then if I'm waking up and shutting off the alarm and can lay there another five minutes, that's my best five minutes. What I'm going to do now is I'm going to go sit out alone. I with my husband, Phil, that's going to be my best moment.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. And again, You're not peeing on today, Jean. I am not. No peeing on today. That is seriously the best visual ever. And it is a visual. Oh, yeah. Thank you for being willing to do this. We met Jean. She came to our house. We were all masked up and we were out on the lanai talking. And I just thought... Because she was recommended to us by... our therapist who is fabulous and they are friends. And, and she's like, she said, you got to meet my friend, Jean. And you were a little wary. You were a little wary of your persona. Yeah. Because, oh, I was wary until we met you. Once we met you, I was like, she's going to be just fine. But there are a lot of realtors we've had over the years that I've been, or that have approached us about selling our house. And I'm just like, no, no, Jean's just very genuine and straightforward and smart. And also you're just a good soul. You're just a good soul.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you know, you meet certain people as clients and there's people that then become your friends and there's a small group and you're in that group. And so it's, you can tell when you click with people and that they care and you care.
SPEAKER_01:Well, absolutely. And when you and Phil want to travel to the West coast, You have a place to stay. Your own sister. Awesome. Thanks so much, Jean. Thank you. See why we love Jean. It's completely obvious. She's got a very bubbly, infectious personality. She's incredibly skilled and gifted at what she does for a living. And she has this amazing heart that's just kind and loving and willing to share. I really, really appreciate her. sharing her experiences to help us all get the most out of life, however long that is. This week, as you go around the world, please do something nice for somebody else, count your blessings and make it a really great week. We'll be back with fresh episodes in the fall. And in the meantime, we'll have announcements about our website and YouTube channel when those are up. Thanks for listening.
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