Who was Sev’s teenage idol? Where does Rich hide to cry at the office? But most importantly, how do we transition from school to work? Tune in on this week's episode to find out!
Who was Sev’s teenage idol? Where does Rich hide to cry at the office? But most importantly, how do we transition from school to work? Tune in on this week's episode to find out!
Rich :
yjydeHey Guys welcome back to the adulting podcast! It’s been a while ey sev?
Sev:
Yeah we had to take a little break. I feel like this winter was a little harsh don’t you find?
Rich:
I agree, we have the usual lack of sun, and on top of that we add our covid fatigue, it’s a lot, I’ve been feeling kind of lazy ya know
Sev:
I mean I just started pilates again so it’s helping me be a little more awake
Rich:
Sev is desperately trying to become one of those health lifestyle gurus you see on instagram
Sev:
Isn't that why we’re doing with this podcast? I hate to admit it but this is honestly way more fun than our job
Rich:
Girl don’t talk to me about work I’m about to faint. But yeah with this whole situation going on, I feel like it’s the worst timing to start a career. We’re just not our best selves!
Sev:
Yeah well this year is just the worst time for anything. It’s hard enough to stay on top of the news, I think I speak for everyone when I say that the dating world is pretty much dead or dying. And seeing your friends too, you know the other day I was telling one of my good friends who i haven’t seen since June that I just want a sleepover with masks on, like that’s how low my bar is at right now.
Rich
I just wanna go to Marcus and buy a couple of champagne bottles, I didn’t even get to do it pre-covid!!
Sev
But now it’s a different game. We’re making money, we’re going crazy.
Rich:
Usually we have some good things and bad things going for us that balance things out. But now...girl Uber eats doesn’t turn me on anymore it’s like, anotha one
Sev:
Yeah, and with work we literally wake up, work, come back home. It’s hard to stay motivated
Rich
Pandemic or not, the working life is hard
Sev
I just miss not having responsibilities… I mean I’m not gonna pretend I miss school, but I miss the social aspect of it. It was so fun, especially the last year where we were less stressed and the light was at the end of the tunnel.
Rich:
Girl, don’t go for the light!!! Stop, turn around!
Sev:
Yeah we had to study and it was definitely stressful, but it wasn’t always serious and we didn’t always feel like our life was at stake
Rich
You’re so right! Okay like maybe my life isn’t on the line, but I feel like now with a real job everything you do, you kind of have to perform because...well technically you could get fired
Sev
Who’s gonna fire us rich?
Rich
I’m gonna get fired soon for crying too much in my office.
Sev:
But you did that at school too
Rich: *say it while laughing*
Ok honestly I thought I’d cry less once i left school but life has really disappointed me
Sev:
So do you think school prepares you for real life?
Rich:
Nnnope
Sev:
I think at school we’re taught to not make mistakes, but in real life, if you don’t make mistakes that just means you’re just not trying new things.
Rich:
Trust me, mistakes were made. And not just us yall I know you guys are listening and are like damn yeah I did this mistake, and this one…
Sev:
But there’s something different about people who did bachelors or have had life experiences before going into their “life job” program. They’re different than us who got in directly from college.
Rich:
Oh yeah definitely. We got in there wanting to perform and wanting to get good grades because that’s what we thought was important in life. But people who actually got a bachelors degree before us, they’re in this program wanting to just get out and start working. So I noticed that they’re less stressed and they don’t stick on tiny details like we did.
Sev:
Yeah they just want to get the work done, and go on with their lives.
Rich
Like I used to remember the tiniest of details not because I thought they were useful, but because I was sure there was gonna be a tricky question on that at the exam.
Sev:
With all the knowledge we have now about how real life works, I’m sure we would’ve done things differently
Rich:
I mean, at the end of the day we still got our diplomas and found a job. We could’ve chosen a chiller and more efficient route, but we still made it
Sev:
You know one thing I realized when I graduated?
Rich:
Well technically you didn’t graduate but what?
Sev:
Ugh don’t remind me. If you’re a 2020 graduate can we please all relate to the fact that graduation was soooo over-rated. Like first of all, I didn’t get a ceremony. Which is fine, I’m fine
Rich:
You definitely seeeem fine
Sev:
No but for real, at first I was obviously disappointed. I’m not gonna lie I was depressed for a little while because I feel like all these years of college I was studying so hard I just kept thinking “it will be worth it once I get that diploma and feel super proud and celebrate”. But I never got that. I never really celebrated. Obviously you guys were super sweet, we opened a champagne bottle at the park and celebrated in our own way. But I never saw my parents, I never got a party, and i’m not trying to be entitled here. I’m just saying I would’ve liked to celebrate it with my family who’s sacrificed so much to get me to where I am.
Rich:
I really feel like getting that graduation makes you feel like you made it. And the one thing I’ve realized is that it’s a very temporary feeling. Unlike you I actually had a full celebration and I can tell you the excitement didn’t last longer than it did for you.
Sev:
I know. I think in my head I made it out to be a fantasy, the whole graduating thing. And when it didn’t turn out as planned I was disappointed.
Rich:
I get it. I did that with work too. I thought it was gonna be super fun and way less stressful than school
Sev:
Are you disappointed yet?
Rich:
Girl don’t get me started.
Sev:
I just find it hard accepting to make mistakes. I always think it’s my fault, which it is, but that I’m not allowed to make mistakes.
Rich:
We’re in such a culture of perfectionism and we’re taught that you shouldn’t make mistakes, but we’re not taught that they’re normal and, most importantly, how to recover from them. Because like my girl Hannah Montana once said, everybody makes mistakes
Sev:
Everybody has those days
Rich & Sev:
… 1 2 3 4!!
Sev:
She’s honestly my teenage idol
Rich:
Words of wisdom
Sev:
But seriously it’s a good point. Mistakes will be made, and I think that’s one of the main differences between school and your career, and you need to be mentally ready for it
Rich:
Cause the first time you’re gonna make a mistake, it’s gonna be heartbreaking. You’re gonna feel so bad! It took me so long to get over my first one, and tbh it wasn’t even that big of a mistake...it’s more the idea of it that was so scary!
Sev:
But then you make other one, and they become less scary everytime. I think it’s important to know how to explain it to your clients or patients. I’ve learned to see it as a risk; yes to yourself you made a mistake, but to the person who you’re offering your services to, they knew the risks and complications when they signed up for it, and that was just one of them.
Rich:
And whatever their reaction is, you shouldn’t take it personally. That’s another thing we’re not being taught. Like we put so much pressure on ourselves to be good, that when something doesn’t work, we’re sure it’s our fault.
Sev:
Or when someone is in a bad situation, we feel bad that we can’t help them and get rid of their problems. It’s hard to feel those things.
Rich:
That’s when the difference between sympathy and empathy comes in
Sev:
Yeah, which one is the one you need again?
Rich:
I don’t know I thought you knew…
Sev:
… … Ok we clearly can’t be the only ones struggling with this difference
Rich:
Ok wait I’ll google it...empathy vs sympathy… ok so sympathy is sharing and feeling the feelings of another, whereas empathy is understanding the feelings of another but not necessarily sharing them.
Sev:
No Rich you don’t understand I’ve had this debate for years, empathy is feeling what another person feels, and sympathy is only understanding these feelings
Rich:
Are you saying Merriam is wrong?
Sev:
Who the hell is Merriam?
Rich:
Merriam Webster girl
Sev:
Who the hell is that
Rich:
Only one of the most ancient dictionaries of the English language?
Sev:
it’s so ancient she hasn’t updated her definition
Rich:
Ok guys you have to let us know
Sev:
Yeah, should we have empathy or sympathy towards someone? Let us know in the comments below
Rich:
Didn’t you always dream of saying that?
Sev:
One day, I will be a successful youtuber, you just wait and see
Rich:
Ok empathy or sympathy, there’s one you need to have, and one you should try to keep for other spheres in your life. Cuz it’s draining to invest yourself so much in your life, and especially for us who overthinking everything, sometimes we care almost more than our clients!
Sev:
And then you bring that shit at home Rich, you have to stop. See that’s what my dad told me, to never bring anything home. Leave it all at work, nothing’s gonna change overnight.
Rich:
A good mentor is everything. They’ve just been through the thick of it already and they can definitely relate to you, but they also have the wisdom you need. you know we said it earlier, in everything in life it’s all about experience. And they have that experience.
Sev:
Yeah i agree. But you know guys, no matter what we’re saying, going from school to having a job is going to be hard. No matter how many people you have around you, it’s not easy. All the self help I’ve done throughout the years still didn’t prepare me for this. But one thing I’ve realized again, is that social skills are such a plus.
Rich:
Yeah it’s going to feel like all that work you’ve put into yourself these years isn’t helping much, but trust me, you’re ready for it. And I find people who haven’t worked enough on their emotional intelligence find it even harder. Because you have to be able to juggle different personalities without creating conflict.
Sev:
It’s true, like you for example, all the people skills you developped throughout the years, it shows, and that’s why you’re successful at work. It would be wayyy harder for you if you didn’t have these skills
Rich:
Or you and your confidence, like you’re unshakeable
Sev:
Are you kidding me? I freak out all the time at work
Rich:
Ok yes, but it doesn’t show, like at all
Sev:
Idk how though, people at work tell me i’m so calm and chill. But like, I’m not chill I’m freaking out inside all day every day.
Rich:
Really? I always wondered how people saw you at work
Sev:
I mean I’m obviously not as crazy as I am with you, like I can’t make jokes that are politically uncorrect at work.
Rich:
I think who I am depends on who I’m with. Like my essence is still the same, you know I’m fun, super social, I make jokes all the time, but I’m also like a chameleon.
Sev:
It’s true your shade is different depending on the season. I’m just beige all the time.
Rich:
*Laughs out loud.* It’s like, ok let’s say I would gladly go out with you, Rachel, Beatrice on a friday night and get low on the dancefloor, talk about how good your butt looks (guys this girl’s butt in these leggings, phenomenal)
Sev:
Omg stop I literally can’t wear leggings anymore. I used to think I have a flat ass but now orange theory really grew my touchie
Rich:
I mean I don’t think having a nice ass is a problem, but anyways my point is, I wouldn’t go out like that with my coworkers at work. That’s something that’s very different from school to work. At school you’re literally with your friends all the time, and you have work friends, but it’s rare that you have that kind of bond with work friends.
Sev:
The vibe is different, but I think we’re more reserved at work too. I’m sure some of you guys have a work bestie you always hang out with. It’s just that we got into this during covid so we never had the opportunity to grow closer.
Rich:
The vibe, the environment is different! For the happy you, but also for the sad you
Sev:
You’re right, at school I could cry after a rough day in the middle of the hallway and like, no stress you know they all relate
Rich:
Now at my office, I can only hide in the bathroom, and let me tell you these walls are t h i n BITCH they’re thin. I had to blame it on my allergies once...in october...
Sev:
It’s hard, but you have to learn to be a chameleon like you said. With your coworkers, your clients or patients, your boss, you need to adapt your personality to theirs if you want things to work, but still stay true to who you are.
Rich:
Again, I don’t think it’s being a hypocrite, it’s just conflict solving by adapting to the situation. Choosing which foot you put up front. It’s like you sev, you’re super big on everything that needs to be fair, but you can’t be like that all the time you know cause at a workplace it isn’t fair most of the time
Sev:
Yeah I learned that the hard way. Cause if you don’t choose your battles, you’re gonna keep creating conflict. Obviously, you can’t be taken for granted, and sometimes you have to fight for your rights so you don’t get taken advantage of. It makes a better impression and a greater impact if you choose to fight certain battles, rather than being the kind of person that fights all the time and people just know you like that. It’s like you Rich, if you fight for something, I’m like okay this means something because Rich never fights.
Rich:
I hate conflict. That’s something I admire about you is that you can put your foot on the ground when you can. I think I’m a people pleaser and it has its advantages, but then it can bite me in the butt sometimes.
Sev:
But see, I hate confronting people. I literally get in a flight or fight mode. And whenever I can avoid it, I do. But if I see that someone’s disrespecting me, then I force myself to do it. You have to fight for yourself in those situations because otherwise people think it’s ok to disrespect you. But when I say fight, I don’t mean literally fight. It’s suuuuper important to solve a conflict without creating conflict.
Rich:
Yeah you’re right. You confront but it’s not aggressive, there’s always a good way to say things. It’s the social skills. Ever since you talked about emotional intelligence I’ve been reading so much about it, and it’s sooo important! Like an outcome of a situation will be super different depending on how you approach it
Sev:
Exactly. You need to be able to tell someone they’re right even when you don’t think they are. You need to pick your battles, you can’t always be too stubborn. But that’s something you learn with life, you know teenagers are the most stubborn people in the world, and a lot of them grow out of it. The ones that don’t well it can be annoying
Rich:
Yeah, it’s like you, you’re very stubborn sometimes you know and...
Sev:
Are you saying i’m annoying
Rich:
I literally can’t stand you like why am I friends with you
Sev:
Cause I’m cute and funny and I’m your only friend
Rich:
You’re literally my soulmate
Sev:
What a chameleon you are. But we’re actually doing a really great job at, well, doing our job
Rich:
Hey, Hannah Montana said it best
Sev:
Another Hannah montana joke, really?
Rich:
NOBODY’S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT!
Sev:
I thought you were gonna say that you get the BESSSSST
Rich & SEv:
Of both worldssss
Rich:
Powerful lyrics.
Sev:
You know what’s a powerful saying?
Rich:
What
Sev:
That’s enough for today”, I hope you guys liked this episode. As always you can reach out to us on instagram @the adulting podcast, we’d love to have your feedback. Did you have anything else to add, rich?
Rich:
No I think I’m ready for lunch
Sev
Ohhh you like chicken parm? it sounds so good im really hungry now. I just had half a croissant and iced coffee
Rich
Iced coffee is the best weekend food
Sev
I know i craved it all week. It’s too bougie for a weekday drink, you gotta be a little festive for it.
Rich
So that’s it you guys can tune in next time for another episode of
Rich & SEv:
THE ADULTING PODCAST
Sev:
Can u cut this sourdough bread for me im scared my shoulder will pop off
Rich:
ok what the hell did you just say to me
Sev
I want iced coffee again