Trust Without Hedging with Angela Greaser

 In this episode I'm talking to the fabulous Angela Greaser about - what else?! - TRUST! We unpack what it really means to trust yourself, your work, and your potential. Angela shares her incredible journey of building businesses while maintaining an unshakable belief in herself, and we explore the (weirdly!) nuanced ways trust shows up for entrepreneurs. You'll walk away with practical insights about trusting your path, even when things feel uncertain, and then some. If you've ever wanted to have less self-doubt and more confidence (and really, who doesn't?!), this episode is for you. 

Sara Torpey:  

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Transcript

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Welcome to another uncomplicating business in this series of trust where we are talking to I know I keep telling you they're my favorite people, but they are and these interviews have been such a treat, and the feedback has been so fun, and so many interesting things have been coming out of them, and there's a whole series of like, practical application episodes coming behind these. 

So keep on it, people. Today, I have the most wonderful Angela greaser, who is the other half of stand for the and but like guys, you need both of them, because they're both so freaking smart. It just kills me. Angela, I'm going to read some of her bio, but I'm not going to use all her words, because you all know that I don't directions. Well, Angela does all things growth. She helps the business owners and the teams scale through smart strategies, through looking at their data, and not in a way that is like beating you over the head with your data, but with a way that is like, hey, look, you have data, maybe you would like to use it.

 She is all about scalability, but in a really grounded way. And as a former teacher like you and I, she knows all the instructional design things, but she's got all the messaging and the operations on the other side of it, because she is the co founder of stand for the end of Melissa Camilleri, who we talked to a couple of weeks ago, and also the coo coo of a business called all the ops that she co founded with her husband. So it's like, operational support and strategy and all these things. And she's like, nodding along. And there is literally no answer. 

Angela doesn't have when I am like, hey, what do I do about? She's the first person I'm like, Angela, hey, what do I do about? And she also lives in my very favorite place, in Maine. She is also a founder of the PROSPER network, which is the best networking around my friends. She just helps us all do the things we want to do without making ourselves crazy really well. So that was a lot of words, hi, Ange.
Hey, I'm so excited to have this excuse just to hang out. I know.

So I really truly these conversations are like, Who do I want to spend some time with? And how do I have to schedule myself to make that happen? Yeah, amen. So we are, you know, we are talking about trust. I gave you a little bit of pre information, but not a lot. So what I've been starting with with everyone is, what does trust mean to you and your business today, right now? And how do you define it like? What is trust in your world? What does it look like? 

It's interesting, because I don't know if you intended this series to be like this, but I felt like this. There was a lot of excavating that I had to do to really dial down some of what I feel like are my core values. And I think when it comes to business and and to life, it's the trust, really to me, means everything is going to be okay. Every problem has a solution, and every situation on the other end is going to I'm going to be okay, business is going to be okay. And that has really shaped, I think, the way that I work with clients, the way that I interact with my family, the way that I just go about my day to day, is that deep trust that it's going to be okay and there will be a next step, no matter if it's the highest of the high or the lowest of the low. Trust is just that unshakable, knowing, it's not even a belief. It's a knowing, it's like a capital

K, knowing, my friend Stacy Anton talks about it that way. It's like that capital K, knowing, it's like an inside knowing, yeah, yeah, that's exactly it. And that's where I think that the the concept of labeling that as trust, I don't know that it even hit me until I was reading through the questions that you had sent over to kind of think about as we were going into this talk, because that, for me, it has always been just that inner knowing of, hey, it's going to be okay there, there is going to be a solution and and I think that it does go deeper to the thought that not only is there a solution, but I am able to find that solution like I trust that nobody is the secret keeper of the things I need to be successful, or the things I need to turn around this situation that I can, I can make that happen, and and having that deep trust that no matter what. 

That outcome is who I am and how I show up for myself, and who I know myself to be as a person, not just as a business person, not just as a mom and a wife and all the things that we are, but who I am that will that stays the same. Yeah,
well, and so what it it's interesting because I think that's a really simple and deep way to think about it. And also, what it makes me think about is one of the things I think a lot about over the years, or have thought a lot about, is the difference between it is all right, and it's going to be all right, yeah. And so, like, the idea to me, I always end up at, like, it's all right, it's always All right, it's always okay. And that's that capital K, knowing that, like it's all right, because the solutions on its way, it sort of feels a little different to me sometimes, because it's like it's not out there somewhere for me to find it, it's here, and if it's not here, right the second, it's on its way, and everything's fine. 

But it is that, like we're okay, yeah, we've always figured it out. We always will. Therefore we are okay right now. And I love that, yeah. And it is hard. It's interesting how often I think we logically know that and we don't emotionally know it,
it that's our brains are connected. Because that's literally, that's where my brain as you're saying this, I'm like, yeah. And sometimes it feels like it's not all right, and I have the deep trust in myself and my own discernment that I can differentiate between what's a feeling and what's a fact, or at least I can verbalize that I don't know if it's a feeling or a fact, and recognize that there is a difference, because there are so many times where things don't feel all Right and it doesn't feel okay, but you're so right. It doesn't mean that it's not okay. And developing that understanding of the differences is so like you said, it's so deep, but it's so true. 

And I think it's that grounding principle that you know we're gonna feel emotions and they're gonna bring us high and they're gonna bring us real low, but when we're aware of that, and we can have that self talk, or have friends and people that we can bounce all of the emotions off of, it helps us keep going and helps us not get mired in that What does feel like a deep distrust of life and the world and all of that that, you know, I think it's easy to fall into that trap of the it's not fair and it's not this, and the world is against me, and you know when hard things happen, but that's where that deep capital K knowing really comes into play well, and
it's an interesting like, like, I think you and I are similar in The practicality reflex that we both have, which is like, like, all right, well, and that's teachers, I think, also, which is like, cool, that thing exploded. Well, we're gonna have to pick up and do the next thing, because there are faces staring at us and people that need things done. So it is very like, I am not by nature, kind of like a dweller, a wallower, sometimes to my own detriment, actually, but at the same time, there is something in that practicality and in that sort of acceptance that like I know this is going to be what it is if I was the thing I ask myself all the time is, If I trusted this, what would I be doing?

 And a lot of times it would be like, I would just be moving on. I would be like, I would be doing none of this thinking right here, you're like, Oh, shoot. So it sounds like there is this sort of core knowing right, that you carry and you maybe have learned to identify better over time, but talk to me about, like, learning to listen to that. Because, actually, I think that's really hard for people, because we are socialized not to, yeah, in every way, in in school, in business, at home, like we are told that there is we have to have evidence and trust is belief before evidence. Yeah, in so many ways, it's pre belief, and then it's like, Oh no, this sucks. And so what is the learning for you? What does that look like, and has it been different for you as a human than it has for you as a business owner?

That's a really good question, and for me, it honestly goes back to childhood, and I don't think I ever did not have that knowing, because I have been. A person of faith since my childhood, and my faith has always been my own. And where, where I have always been grounded is in this identity that I have a creator and that he flipping loves me and like everything's gonna be okay, even when it doesn't feel like it. And that identity for me has never changed. And that does not mean by any stretch of the imagination that things have been easy and that really horrible, mindless things haven't happened in my life, but it is that faith and that belief of who I am that has never changed. 

And it is kind of wild to me, because I think we all go through and we all, you know, I did in my own ways, but you know, we go through those times where we walk away from who we know ourselves to be and who we've been created as on this planet, and I never did with all of the things that would hit me and the things I tried and and I always just had this underneath, even when I had times where I doubted myself or My abilities or desperately wanted to fit in places or wanted people to see me at the end of the day, I always have gone back to the belief, well, my Creator sees me so I'm good like well.

 And I think there is something in there about no matter what people believe about this, like one of my dearest friends from childhood will tell you that I have this like, stubborn streak that, like, I don't know if it's belief or it's just this, like, core like, well, there's this line at which I'm going to do, which I'm going to do, which I'm going to do, and when you've run into it, It just is, like, I'm just not gonna do that. Like, there's this weird stubbornness that I think comes with that that is very I see it in my own kiddo now, like she so desperately wants to fit in, but also refuses to do it on anyone else's terms. Oh yeah, which is not the easiest way to seventh grade, my friends. It is really, isn't. It is not the easiest way to 13. It is not the easiest way to teenage girl. 

But also, she just refuses to do it any other way, and I don't want to mess with that, because I want her to keep that and so where have you had to lean into trust? Where are the places that you had to kind of be like, oh,
when have I not, I think is the better question if you, if you're asking me, think about when you did not have to lean into trust, it'd be like, Oh, I have two instances. Let me tell you about them in my life, because I do feel like there is that part of me that is the jump and then figure it out, when you're in the air, how you're going to land. 

That is and again, that goes back to identity, and it's
going to be okay to have that confidence to leap and to do the things, and I'm definitely like you and that, that we're just like, No, we're going to push through, like, we're going to push through and we're going to get there. And, you know, I think that because I did have, and have had this really firm belief in who I am. I think growing and and evolving into into other versions of myself has been a challenge, because when I've hit those places of trust, my trust has to evolve as my identity is evolving. 

So I talk about this all the time. When Melissa and I started stand for the end, and we started it as a purely service based business, a purely service based business, which was ironically, helping people to step away from their service based businesses. Because I for right. So for years and years and years, I'm working behind the scenes of businesses and really focusing on operations, growth strategy, marketing strategy and all of that. 

So running these huge launches, like multi million dollar launches, craziness, right? But it happened, and it was amazing, and, you know, had so much traction learning as a former teacher, being in this new business space has been pretty awesome to see how smart teachers are and how smart we learn on the job. And we we well, and you're used to just be like, All right. Well, okay, next, here we go. Sure. So, so anyway, so Melissa and I had started stand for the end, and we are combining. Her expertise of that instructional design piece, and my expertise of the marketing, launching sales, and we are getting these high ticket retainers to come in underneath organizations, businesses, solopreneurs with a budget to hire us to be hands on, and I'm doing the graphic design I'm doing I'm setting up their project management systems. I'm managing their teams. Melissa's writing the curriculum. It's all hands on. We're completely enmeshed. 

It's completely service based. And we reached a point where we're like, whoa. This is exhausting. It was kind of it, you know. Imagine that the very thing that we're like, Hey, you did it really well, and then people wanted more, and you were like, there's no more. There's no more there. There's no more. I mean, it was to say that we had  honed in on something that was magic. Was that that's like saying it quietly, like the fact that we were able to two former teachers with multiple children, littles too small, little at the time. 

Yeah. I mean, we brought in six figures in 90 days, and that's not like, that's not that's not ads, that's not anything except for high ticket retainers by word of mouth, referrals from people who are thrilled with our work or recommending us, to other people. It was fast, it was intense, and we were like, Okay, this is not sustainable. This is a great kick start, but it's not sustainable. So what we did, which is what we always do for other people, was to take that core framework of what we were doing and create a program to serve people where we weren't the ones doing. 

We were teaching and we were facilitating, and we were, you know, being that perspective, that accountability and helping people do what we were on retainer for these, you know, high ticket retainers, amazing, right? Sounds, sounds great. Sounds ideal. Sounds like what we do, right? Should be a no brainer. So we had our market like we were ramping up. We finally got a website. I think I don't even know if we had a website at that point, but we had, like, a landing page where we have this big marketing event. People are showing up, people from years and years, who have we've been connected with. You know, we're like, fabulous. This is great. People care about what we're saying.

 Have this marketing event after the like, the day of the marketing event, of course, because I don't give it any time day of the marketing event, and nobody's buying our program, crickets. And by the end of that day, I know joke was hysterical, and I'm not talking, I'm not talking in hyperbole. I'm talking like, like, I'm catching my breath, right? But it's like, holy moly, and we did this wrong. We did this wrong. We did. We did. It's wrong. We did it wasn't.

This is the only time in my life I can ever remember feeling like I didn't trust myself. Oh, because I was ball, and it makes me emotional, even thinking of it now. But I was voice noting Melissa, and we probably still have it saved somewhere. And I was like, nobody wants to learn from me. They want me to do things for them. And all of the things unpacked about my relationship as a mother and as a wife and as a business owner, and all of the things just came pouring out of like, oh, people just want me to do things for them. They don't. They don't want to hear from me. They don't want to hear from me. And I was like, Where the heck did this come from? Because I didn't know until I was pushed to that edge of like, you will always the the belief that I had, that I felt like came out at that time, was you will always be a doer, and you will always get results. 

You will always do good work, and you will always be exhausted, and you will always be taken advantage of, and you will never people will never want to hear your voice. People will never be there. They don't want to learn from you. You don't you know all of the insecurities of you're not pretty enough. Your voice is annoying, like you don't have the right image, you don't have the right house, the right office, the right headphone, like all of the things that go now, yep, oh my gosh, yes. And so then what happens? Works. 

People start buying. People start buying. And not only do people start buying, but almost immediately after they join and we start the work, people are getting results like crazy, and people are giving us that feedback. And I was like, Okay, so now I have to learn to trust this newer version of myself that's not just a doer. And so that's where I feel like it's that, that growth in in the application of how a trusted, yeah, this makes me think about the other day I was talking to a client about I think change happens in three ways, and we only think about two of them when we're. Changing you and Melissa went immediately to we're going to change what we offer. We're going to change how we go about offering it. But you didn't necessarily change Think about who you were becoming. And those are the three kinds it's like what you do, how you do it, and who you are when you're doing it, yeah, and we forget the who we are part because, like that just feels like an inside thing, and we should figure it out. 

And that is the part where it's like, Oh, hey, I my entire insides are stretching into this new person. Yeah, feels really hard, like swimming through jello, and you have to relearn that trust. Right? Every time you change, you relearn it. And I'm sure as you then have changed the program, you have changed you, and you've had to learn, I think it's like every time you sell a new thing, you have to trust that you know how to sell something different, yeah? And that's just endless. And people are like, ew, hate it. It's endless. And I think this is, I mean, this goes back to our favorite phrase, which is no hedging, right? Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know you love that, but that is the ultimate expression of self trust is when you don't hedge. Because when you truly trust in the offer that you're putting out, and not just the offer that you're putting out, but you trust that you are going to be able to deliver, in what you say the offer is going to deliver, that's when you can really stop hedging. We just put out an offer this morning. 

That is our highest ticket offer that we've put out, besides done for you services our highest ticket offer. It's niching down on a very, very specific thing, which is monthly recurring revenue. Yep, because a part of the teacher in US has always been like, we can help everybody, like, no worries guys, that every teacher every time, because that's what teachers have to do exactly? You have to leave people behind, right? Well, and that's your job.

They give you a list, right, right? They give you a random list of kids, and you have to bring everybody on the boat. But that is not business. It's you're not before we leave this though, I want to come back just a second for the people that are listening so that we can say it again. Did you hear her, my friends, when she said that the ultimate act of trust is not hedging, I know that she is telling me too. So also, because I'm really good at we just talked this morning, Angela and I about there's a difference between I can help you and we can figure it out together. And so I hedge, along with the best of them, I am like a black belt in hedging, quite honestly. And so this is an act of trust to say, here's what I have, and here's how I help you, yeah, and to know that that is true with your capital K, knowing inside out, and know that no matter what they say or how they come to you, you are going to figure it out. That's the trust, like, that's the magic, that's so I just need to, like, double down there. You gotta, like, poke at people and also me. So, yeah, you look so pleased to be saying that. Oh, love gross. 

Totally what I'm working on right now. Um, all the time, just constantly, yes, taking the hedging out, it's, it's like in one degree, 1% but I do think, I do think, with this, the whole concept of growth and not hedging, and being willing to rise in your self trust and trusting yourself enough to talk about what you're doing, this was a big step for us today, because we are honing in on one specific thing when we know we can help people with probably everything.

 There's there's really very little I haven't had my hands in when it comes to growing a business. There's very little I don't know about or or have experience helping people with. But we really wanted to call this message of a very specific buyer, very loudly talking about monthly recurring revenue and taking 90 days for an intensive to just look at that, and we will help you get results. So that took a lot of self trust for us, because, as you know, when you work with us, we're like, All right, let's look at your goals. Let's, let's look at the whole big picture. Let's look at all of this and see, you know will help you figure out your best path, versus no. If this is what you want, come here and I trust, and you trust that we will get this done in 90 days. That's a big shift. It's a big well, and it's a very it's like, it's like running a bakery versus a donut store. 

Totally, yep, right. I'm so glad that that worked out when I said that, but it is sort of like a we bake all the good things versus we're making donuts. And you can come here and want a croissant, but that's not what we do, right? Like we make donuts, and that's the difference. It's like in this. Case, what I'm selling you is donuts very specifically, in this very specific way, versus, yes, I know how to bake anything, but that doesn't mean that's what we're doing right now. And that doesn't mean that's not what you're going to do forever. 

Who knows, in December, maybe you're selling croissants, right? But, like, let's try this thing now, right? And do this thing in this specific way that you know, because I think the other thing that you trust, that I think you and Melissa trust in, in sort of without talking about it enough, maybe, is that you trust that it's always like that the people that are coming to you are capable of the thing they're saying they're capable of. Mm, you trust the human on the other side, yeah. And you act in trust of them, yeah. Where it's like, here is this thing I see in you. When you come to me, I You say, Okay, this is going to be great. We're going to do X, Y and Z. You don't think, like, can they really do that? Like, you roll with both trust in yourself and your own abilities and trust in your people in a way that is very specific.

 I think, yeah. And I think that's really important as a coach, as a strategist, as consultant is to have that, that mutual trust. But it's not just a matter of, oh, I trust you to be nice to me. I trust you know it's not, it's not, it is emotions, but it's not just emotions. It is very much that, I mean, Sara, if you came to me and said, Hey, I am going to start a chicken farm and it's going to make a million dollars by the end of the week. And I wouldn't look at you and say, Great, Sara, go for it. 

Go sell your house and buy a million chickens, and you're going to make a million dollars by Friday. I wouldn't tell you that it's ridiculous and extreme example, but there's too many coaches that erode trust because they're afraid to say, No, yeah, that they won't and that, as you know, there's very many times that we will say hey, like we will support you and we will give you whatever we can to help you on this path. However, knowing you, knowing your business structure, knowing the audience that you have currently gathered, your quicker path to profit is going to be down this road, not this road. Yeah, and you have to be able to have that pushback in a very respectful, trustful way on both sides. 

Because the last thing I want is someone to be building me up in a direction that they don't really think that I can be successful in right that and I think or that they haven't thought about me enough to know one way or the other. Oh, right. Because I think that that happens sometimes, and I think those are the places where the trust is killed fastest, yeah, where somebody is like, Sure, I'll help you do that. Like I have a dear friend right now that is has had somebody helping her on the back end with something, and the person who is helping her very clearly did not understand her before she took her on, and what she is asking her to do is very clearly outside of this other person's capabilities.

 And she has yet to say that out loud, even though there have been multiple opportunities. So it is very like, you didn't know to trust. You didn't you trusted without knowing almost. But that's not really trust, yeah, that's just like, greed or something like, it's just like, without integrity on some level. And it's so it's an interesting it's been an interesting thing to watch her be like, What the Why would she have said yes to me? Right? Why did she offer to take me on? And so that's and that's where, like, people then are like, You know what? I'm just gonna do it myself. Yeah, you're like, No man. And that's where there is the whole fake it till you make it mindset, which, there's a part of that that is very, very real, that is very much like figure it out, like, say yes and figure it out right, exactly. But it is very different when you are positioning yourself as, oh, yeah, I know everything about XYZ. Pay me $10,000 but then you get in and you don't actually know what you say, you know, and that's not okay. That's not okay.

And it's amazing, that is, it's like, if somebody tomorrow was like, hey, I need you to teach honors chemistry, I would be like, ah, could I figure it out? Sure, eventually the first year would be kind of wonky, if we're all being honest. But if you called me tomorrow and said, Come and sit in this algebra class and take care of this, I wouldn't even have to have thoughts first. Yeah, yeah. So and that that's something where, um. Um, so Dan and I, in all the ops, we do a lot of like, hiring, firing, we do interviews for companies and things like that. And that's something where there's a big difference between I ask you, Hey, um, so how proficient Are you in Active Campaign? And you say to me, oh, yeah, I know Active Campaign absolutely like, I've got this, you know, not a problem. 

Or you saying I'm actually really good with mail or light, so I'm familiar with email platforms in general, and I know I could go, I could get in there. I know I could learn it. It's not a problem. I would much rather hear that than hear someone building up. Yes, you have experience. Just say no. Just say no, but that you are willing to learn, and that is fake it till you make it not lie. Take people's money. Well,
that's not fake it, though, right? Exactly that's you're taking the faking out of there. And I know we all get, like, our impostory moments of like, can I actually do this? Like, the echo in my brain is often you're just a teacher, but at the same time, like, I'm just a teacher that's figured out a hell of a lot of things. So like, your results speak for themselves, that that's where you can't. 

You can't deny that. It doesn't. I don't care if you are an MBA and you've worked in all of these corporations, if you can't get any results, I I don't want to work with you. If you're a teacher, if you're a chicken farmer, whatever you are, and you're getting results, I want to learn from you, yes, and people will be like, well, but what should my title be? I'm like, Actually nobody cares.

Like, and we change it every five seconds. Like, right? Like, literally no one cares. So what are you Angela working on right now with trust, besides what you're growing into, I really think it's the trusting others thing, because when you do have such a deep trust in yourself, but you have to operate with people who don't have that same inner trust and that same the same mindset of we're going to figure everything out. 

We're not going to throw our hands in the air when something is hard or we don't know the answer that for me, can be hard to navigate, because I overcompensate for those people who don't show up. And then what happens? I get resentful, or I get burned out and and I think that that is always figuring out a balancing act of how I can let go and trust people when they're on their own, trust building journeys and that that's not a good pat answer, but that's kind of where I'm at, well,
but I think everybody understands it.

 Yeah, right. I think that's a really important one, because it's also like, it's always interesting to me, because it's like, not necessarily them not showing up, it's them in a place internally that they don't understand how to show up from Yes, yes, and it's like, how do I offer grace for that, and room for growth and learning, while also getting my done? Sometimes a real fine line, right? And that's, you know, do I try? It's like, do I trust them to eventually get there? Yeah, do I have time for them to eventually get there? Yeah, if I just let it roll, will they figure it out? And that's the difference, honestly, between my first born and my second born, yeah, because kid one in the middle of the night when she was a baby, if she made a noise, you and you didn't catch that noise, you you're gone. 

Her, she was then screaming forever. And kid two, in the middle of night, if he made a noise, he made a noise, yeah. But kid one had trained us that if there was one noise, there was going to be many, many more, yep, yep. And we had to learn to trust him differently than her, yeah, as babies. And this is the same kind of stuff where you're like, Okay, well, what do they need, and how long do they need it, and can I let them figure it out? Or is there going to be much screaming Yeah? Go, yeah. And that's hard, because there's, you don't control other people.

You don't and and by nature, I am not. I'm not a controlling person. People think that, especially like being in systems and operations. Oh, you must be so type A, you might like, no, absolutely not. I am type anything but a essentially, and I am very much about I don't have any desire to control people. I don't at all. And at the same time, I almost said, but did you see me? Almost and simultaneously, i. I believe that everything can have a positive outcome, whether it's now or in the future. And so I get insanely frustrated when anybody's like, well, I just don't know what to do. Well, I'm just not going to do anything. Well. Victim Enos, that just kills me, yes, but I do think you know, there's, there's that willingness to, as long as people are coming at it from a place of willingness, I'm on board, yes, right, and and I'm willing to trust the process, as long as they're willing to roll into the process. It's always hard for me when somebody's like, no to everything, yeah, and then I'm like, okay, but then you actually don't want to figure this out. So I don't know that. I trust that, right?  And I think what you said before is like, it's not I think there's difference between wanting to control and problem solving. Yes, and you are a problem solver, and I think you probably have to watch yourself to be trying to fix problems that aren't yours to fix. Yep, but, but they're all mine, don't you know, Sara, they're all my problems. Stop it. They're all mine.

Um, but that's, that's a different, that's a different thing to be, yeah, right. And often teachers are problem solvers, and it looks like control, yeah, yeah. And anxiety, like control is an outcome of anxiety, I think, yeah, so many ways. Oh, so
fun. It's so fun. I just, I just dealt with this with my husband the other day, because, again, I'm a problem solver. I can, I can handle the weight of the world. Just put it on me, and it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. 

And so I am, I am very much the person who is like, I'm not gonna complain about stuff, because I know it's just feelings like, come on. I know better. But I got to a point, I think it was last week, and I was feeling so much anxiety. And I don't like, I'm not, and I'm not an anxious person. I'm such, like, a laid back, go with a flow type person, and it's like, you know, the chest tightening and yes, and all of that, and, and I was just carrying it. And I was like, I don't. Nobody else might. This is how my brain works, like nobody else needs to carry this with me, because it's not real.

 Okay, it's not real. But then I finally got to the point where I, you know, because Dan and I, we both, we have our businesses, we work from home, we homeschool, and all of that. And I walked by him, and he's sitting there working, and I look at him, and I go, Hey, I'm super anxious today. And he's like, oh yeah. Like, where, what is that? And then he had the audacity to make me break down. What was making me anxious, which probably really helped it did, darn it. 

Hate that when somebody asked a question, and you're like, No, no, I was just gonna tell you. I was just telling you I was anxious, and I didn't need you to now, but then that helps me build trust, that it is okay and it is safe, that I'm not gonna bring other people down if I need to share or just process or whatever. And and when I unpacked it there, really it was, like, a lot of little things that not, not any big things, not and honestly, not really even anything bad. It's just like, when you're wearing all the hats and you was like, the pile up, right? It was the, it was 100% the pile up. And honestly, just talking through the pile up was so helpful. And also having a partner who's like, Oh, cool. I didn't even know you were thinking about that. 

Let me take care of it. And I'm like, what? Well, and the other thing, I think, is I am much like you, where I'm like, I'll just figure it out. I got it. It's good. I'm fine, yes, yes. Then I forget that. Like, you know, if I don't keep it a secret, other people can help with it. Mm, hmm. And that is lovely. And also not how I work generally, yeah, yeah. And I work on that, like, I work on like, I say this thing out loud, and then other people are like, oh, cool, I can help with that. And you're like, wild. 

And you know what I think that really is, when I look at myself in the mirror, and when I look at the results of when I do step out in that trust of other people, it's honestly entirely selfish of me to deny other people the ability to rise and support me, or to be a part of a situation that if, if in with all good intentions, because do I think I can do it better than everybody else? No, do I think that I have some magic power that's going to get it all done? No, but I would just rather carry the weight than put it on anybody else. 

That's just the way I am. But when I'm doing that, I'm I'm so entirely selfish, because other people are just as much, if not more capable than. Me in a lot of things that I try to carry myself. So it is. It's a journey of learning to trust that it's okay for other people to to bear the weight of whatever, and that people like the thing I tell clients all the time when they're like, well, but I don't know who I would start talking to about this business, like, well, you would start with people, you know, because they love you and they want to help, and they'll be like, no, like, actually, they do, the more they love you, the more they're going to want to help. And not everybody will get it, but they'll still want to help.

 I have plenty of people that don't get what I do and still send clients, yeah, like, that's just the way it works. So my friend, tell me what you think, what you want people to do today or walk away with thinking about that is related to trust that you think makes a difference right now for them, I think it is that developing your unshakable identity And that there's a lot of things that might change about your identity, but who you are as a core, who you are just being in existence doesn't change, and we might grow and evolve. But knowing deep down inside that our our work isn't tied to our worth, I think, is the biggest thing that I would want people to really be able to lean into that trust of the work that I'm doing, whether it's in your business or in your community, in your family, that work has literally nothing to do with your worth. And when you can really step into that, it removes so many of our own barriers that we set up for ourselves.

I was talking to somebody about the other day as, like in coaching, one of the things I have to be really careful about is, like absorbing other people's things. Yeah, and you also, but there is this place of, I think of it as interested and detached, mm, like I'm in and I'm interested and I'm curious and I'm involved, but I'm not like Gecko stuck to it, yep, right, like it is and it is something to work on. Like I can be interested and involved and engaged, and also not like swimming in that. And I think if we could do that with our own work and our own self, that really helps, like I can be really interested in it and not attached to what other people value it as, yeah, and that's hard, and again, at what we're socially constructed to do, right? Um, tell people what they should come get from you right now.

Ooh, come get the sold out offer system. It's at stand for the end com slash sold out. It's a bundle of a really awesome masterclass and a very actionable workbook to help you take what you're doing in your business or even in your career, you know, if you haven't started a business yet, and how to distill that down into an offer that's going to sell on repeat. So how do you break that down? How do you create an offer people actually want and will actually buy? So it's really good. It's free right now. It's not going to be free for very much longer. So I would head over there stand for the end. COMM, slash, sold out.

Angela, Angela, Angela, I am so happy to have had you today. Thank you a billion times over for coming to play with us and friends. You will find all the links to Angela and all the places in the little podcast description box. You know where to find me. You can come join the Facebook group, which is uncomplicating business for teachers, helpers and givers. You can come talk about coaching. 

You can come talk about selling for weirdos. Hello, because selling is the thing that we all need. And you can, you know, both of us are people that like people. So you can be like, Hi, friend that likes people. Angela is playing on LinkedIn right now. I have seen evidence of it. You should go find her on LinkedIn, because she'd like that, and come visit us. We will see you again in a couple of weeks for, I think, practices and trust and hopefully soon journaling, we'll talk to you then you.