God in the Valley with Kristy Lair

What happens when faith is put to the ultimate test? In an inspiring episode of the Jesus Fix It podcast, we're joined by Kristy Lair, a remarkable woman who shares her courageous journey through a breast cancer diagnosis at just 42. Kristy's story is one of unyielding faith, resilience, and hope. She opens up about the initial shock and emotional whirlwind of her diagnosis, revealing how her steadfast belief in Jesus and past experiences of divine faithfulness have been her anchor in the storm. Her candid reflections offer a beacon of hope, underscoring that no matter how daunting the challenges, we are never alone.

This conversation transcends Kristy's personal battle and taps into broader themes of self-care and spiritual community. We explore the emotional roller coaster of cancer treatment and the vital importance of prioritizing one's health, even amidst cultural pressures to put others first. Kristy's journey also underscores the profound influence of faith in fostering meaningful connections and supportive communities. Through her story, we are reminded of the power of spiritual kinship and the importance of surrounding ourselves with those who uplift and encourage us. Get ready for a heartfelt discussion that not only challenges but also inspires you to hold fast to your faith in the face of life's unpredictable turns.

Transcript

0:00:02 - Jess

Welcome to the Jesus Fix It Podcast, where we tackle life, the good, the bad and everything in between. I'm Jess, and together we'll explore how loving Jesus can help us navigate the ups and the downs, no matter what you're facing. Remember He can handle it all. So grab your coffee, your favorite drink, tea or whatever. Let's dive into some real talk and uplifting stories that remind you that you are never alone. Let's get it started. 

Thank you for coming back to another episode of the Jesus Fix it podcast, and I'm so excited to be able to talk to another encourager today, Kristy Lair. Thank you so much for just sitting down and having a chat, so let me introduce you to Miss Kristy. Kristy is a certified master personal trainer. See, already I feel like I'm out of my league. She owns her own fitness center and she's been in the fitness industry for over 24 years. And yet breast cancer found. Kristy, and you are still sitting in front of me right now, smiling. I even when I met you over the phone a couple of days ago, you were so encouraging and I'm just telling you about the awful morning I had, and you were just telling me to be positive and you're so sorry. And yet you have breast cancer and you were just smiling. 

0:01:36 - Kristy

Yeah, I think it's important and thank you so much for having me, because I feel so blessed to be able to talk to you about this and talk to those who are listening, and I just think it's really really important mindset. You know where your mind goes. I feel like everything really follows. 

0:01:56 - Jess

Yeah, now I know if it's not breast cancer, whatever that diagnosis is, there's somebody yesterday, whatever that diagnosis is, there's somebody yesterday today, as they listen to this podcast who's got some type of bad news, who's got their own diagnosis. Somebody who's struggling with something, who is a believer, who's strong in their faith but got that diagnosis, or who got that bad news or who is struggling with something. So you, I know you're a strong believer Can you tell me what that moment was for you when you found out you had cancer and you're strong in your faith. But can you just be brutally honest, what was that first initial feeling for you? 

0:02:42 - Kristy

Yeah, of course, I feel like the biggest thing for me was I was super numb, like I didn't even know what to think. I didn't expect it at all, like I did not know that this was something I was going to face at this age I'm only 42. And I just didn't think that this was ever going to be in my book, like maybe. I thought, well, maybe when I'm older, you know, whatever God's plan is for me, because it does run in my family. But I was super numb that's the best word I can describe it, as is I just heard the words and it was a moment of processing like, well, what do I do now? Like what does this mean and how bad is it and all the things. 

0:03:31 - Jess

Yeah, I think about my grandmother and I always say, you know, I love Jesus and because of him I can take whatever comes my way. And my grandmother did that. When she was told she had bladder cancer and it was so far, you know progressed, that you know she had you know months to live. She was just like, okay, I love Jesus and he's got me. You know, when I die I'm going to see him. I love Jesus, but I don't know if I could like have that reaction. I say I can, but now, just thinking about that, I don't know if I could have that feeling. And so, like, what does that feeling look like for you? What does your faith, how does your faith come into all of this? 

0:04:16 - Kristy

I didn't know. I this is odd, but I used to think, well, what if that happened to me? Like I used to think about it and as a situation like, what would I do as a believer? How would I respond? But I didn't really know until it happened and I would say I responded a lot like your grandmother. I just kind of was surprised because I thought, well, whatever this looks like, I know that Jesus has me and he's not going to let go. 

And when I just really like got in the spirit, you know, instead of like all in my flesh, I really felt he's got me and whatever happens, it's going to be okay. I just need to cling to him. And as I cling to him, he's going to take me through a lot of bumpy rides. But honestly, really, since I've become a believer, there's been so many things that he has taken me through that I just felt was going to wreck me. And every time it happened he was there, so faithfully, walking me through each of those things, and I feel like they were all steps to help me get to this point with cancer, where I did feel I'm scared, but I know it's going to be okay Whatever. Whatever it is. 

0:05:47 - Jess

Yeah, I think that's also one of the great things about the God we serve Like he knows we're human and he knows we're going to have those moments, but then he is so patient with us that he gives us that time to come back around. 

Okay, now get yourself together and realize I've got you, I'm in control, I go before you, but like he knows, like he has children like me that are going to have those weak moments, that I need to get myself together. Yes, I need to get a hold of myself and I need to realize that you're in control, but, like you know you think you have, you know you're strong in your faith. And then you're shaken by these life's moments. Because one thing we know life is going to life, life is going to happen and so it's. What are you going to do when life does happen? How are you going to put your faith in action when that does happen? And I see you doing that now through your encouraging messages and your encouraging posts that you share through your social media with people who follow you, like you're inviting them into what you're going through. 

0:06:54 - Kristy

Yeah, Honestly, I feel like God has. 

It's weird to say this. I feel like, in a lot of ways, this has been a blessing, because God has been telling me I want you to use your social media and I have for a very long time but he's been telling me I want you to use your social media to encourage, to uplift, to provide hope, and I always have. However, I feel like this is a long-term, ongoing thing, where God is like this is what I want you to use right now in this season to be very vulnerable, be very upfront, be very open. Show people what it looks like. Show people the days when you cry. Show people the days when you're up and down and all over the place, and show the days when you cry. 

Show people the days when you're up and down and all over the place, and show the days when you're happy and how faithful I am, because the realness and the vulnerability of all of those things is how we relate, and so I've been able to relate to a lot of people, especially women, because of going through this, and I find that the community that God has surrounded me with has been such a blessing to me, because everyone has just had my back and been praying for me, and people that I don't even know would message me, and people I do know but don't know very well They'd message me. People that I talk to more often they're messaging me I'm getting cards in the mail, things that just to know that they're there and that has all been such a blessing is that community that he is surrounding me with and I know that he does that, like he does that for each of us, but it's so clear to me at this point. 

0:08:49 - Jess

Wow, what do your down days look like? What does that mean when you're? When you say you have down days, what does that look like for you? Do you yell at God or are you just under your covers? What is? What is the down day for you? 

0:09:03 - Kristy

I haven't had a horrible day yet. I will be. It depends when I have my surgery, because I haven't even had my surgery yet. So I feel like when I have that and I start walking through radiation and all of that, it might be a little bit different than where I'm at right now. I don't know, but I would say a down day for me so far has been. 

It's just, I sit there and I just stare in space and sometimes the tears just welled up in my eyes and it's hard because I think, well, I'm not going to be able. I think of all the things which I then stop myself. But in the moment I think, well, I'm not going to be able to teach class, I'm not going to be able to train my girls, I'm not going to be able to go to work, I'm not going to be able to see the people, I'm not going to be able to do any of my normal routine, my dog, any of it. I'm going to be sitting on the couch a lot and just going through all these things. And I think sometimes God just says Kristy. Sometimes God just says Kristy, be still and know like, just sit in it, be in it, and it's OK, and I don't care, the good, the bad and the ugly, I don't care, bring it to me and I always do. 

But this is so very different. So the bad days so far, like I was in church this weekend and we were worshiping and all of a sudden it just hit me like out of nowhere and I thought, oh, I'm going to cry, it's just going to flood out of my eyeballs. But I kind of stopped it because we were getting near the end of worship and I'm like, no, we're not doing this right now. I just I don't know. And so it will just hit whenever and I think I have cancer, like I have cancer, and it'll just, I'll just play it over and over and it really never leaves my mind. But there's just days when it's easier and days when it's not. 

0:11:12 - Jess

Tell us about your cancer Like. What stage are you and what has that felt like physically for you right now? 

0:11:19 - Kristy

Yeah, so they caught it very early. So I am very, very blessed by that and very grateful. I have been keeping a very close watch on it because of my grandmother and her sister both had breast cancer and they passed away from it. So I've been keeping a very close watch on it. However, when I think this is important for people to hear, I put it off. 

I put off my mammogram for two years. I was supposed to have it when I was 40 and probably could have even had it before then, but I didn't have it until I was 42. And what happened was I had a new PCP. I got a new PCP doctor and she said have you ever had a mammogram? And I said, no, like I just didn't want to go, I didn't want any part of it and I thought I'm fine, Everything is fine, I wasn't having symptoms, I had no idea. 

And she said to me well, you're going to go, and so I made the phone call and she set up everything and I went and they called me back for a second mammogram and they said oh, this happens a lot. You know, I'm sure it's nothing. So I'm thinking still, it's nothing. Then I went back and he, the radiologist called me to his room and showed me my x-rays with the nurse and he said I really don't like what I see and I'm sending you for a biopsy. And so still, with that I'm like he's probably just seeing, you know, dense breast tissue. It's probably fine. So I went and had that done and that's how I found out that I had cancer. So it's just one of those things Like I I'm very much an advocate now for, like make sure your routine on getting those checks because it is so important. 

0:13:19 - Jess

Right, and it's also one of those things where, first of all, you said that one word that us ladies use all the time. Fine, it's fine have so many meanings, but we use that all the time. And then also, you mentioned you're thinking about the what ifs, my dog, my girls, my schedule. We're always thinking about other people, other things and we put off ourselves and I don't know if we think okay, if I think about myself, I'm being selfish, even if it's something we need to do, like have a mammogram, like take a minute to have your mammogram, schedule your mammogram. We neglected those things that could save our lives. 

0:14:04 - Kristy

Yes. 

0:14:05 - Jess

That's just one thing we tend to do all the time is neglect the little things that could help us the most. You know what I mean the little things that could help us the most. You know what I mean. I'm so glad that you mentioned that we should definitely do those things, not just your mammograms, but just all your routines, your routine checkups, your pap smears, all of the routine things you should be doing. 

0:14:28 - Kristy

For sure. Yeah, I'm really glad that you brought up this selfish thing, because that's one thing God has been teaching me through all of this and I feel like someone might need to hear this. I, my whole life, have felt I've always I love other people, I love encouraging other people, I love other people, I love pouring into other people. It makes me thrive, into other people. It makes me thrive. But I've always been that person who will do for other people and put myself last and never think about myself. 

I don't know, I don't know why. It's part of the gift that God has given me to be able to love on other people and empathy and all the things. But at the same time, I was so out of balance in my life where everything and everybody was coming before me and at 42 years old, I feel like God finally stopped me in my tracks and said you really need to look at your life. You really need to look at how you're doing things, because you are so out of balance with caring so much about other people which is wonderful, and he wants us to do that but you're not taking care of yourself in the way that I need you to, because you're out of balance, so that that has been a huge lesson for me. 

0:15:52 - Jess

Wow, and somebody needed to hear that. That, oh my goodness, that gave me chills because I think for me as a mom, I feel like I didn't start really putting myself first until my kids were out of the house, which was just a couple of years ago. Because you know, we get like that. You don't even have to be a mom, it's just any time you feel like you're putting yourself before somebody else. I don't know if it's just a woman thing, I mean, because you know I know men like this too, but you just have that guilt, if that's the right word to use. You know what I mean this guilt that, oh my goodness, why am I doing this for to use? You know what I mean? This guilt that, oh my goodness, why am I doing this for myself when clearly somebody else needed this first? 

0:16:40 - Kristy

Yes. 

0:16:41 - Jess

I mean yes. So at least that's how that's the way I can describe it, so good. So yeah, I'm definitely learning that too, that it's okay to invest in yourself, even if that means extra quiet time or extra time to worship. Investing in yourself doesn't mean spending money on yourself. Yes, for sure, I'm sure it doesn't hurt. I'm just saying, yes, Investing in yourself could mean just worshiping on the way to work or opening your Bible. You know it. Just investing in yourself means a lot. Yes, it does. Yeah. So what else do you think God is trying to show you through cancer? If that makes any sense. 

0:17:29 - Kristy

That's such a good question. So this is the first thing that pops into my head. I feel for me it has been well when I grew up I grew up in church, but I'd say maybe middle school sometime I turned from my faith. I just didn't want to do it anymore because I was being picked on for it and I thought, if this is what it's going to look like, I don't want any part of this. And I turned from him and I remember doing it and I, Jesus, was my best friend. 

When I was little and I'm going to be very open here when I was five, I was being sexually abused and so with all of that, that was really the kicker that made me want to turn, because it was like God, you didn't stop this. And for a long time, when I was older, he showed me. Once I got saved, he showed me that I was mad at him and I didn't even really realize I was until he showed me and the Holy Spirit was like you need to repent of that, because you just do. Obviously you can't have anger towards me. And so I did and I felt so much burden lifted from me. But I was mad at him for the longest time because he didn't stop it or change it or make somebody do something to help me. I was five and I know so many of us go through that and I'm sure there's people listening that have. There's probably a lot of people listening that have had that situation happen. 

What I find now through this is that he is my loving father and no matter what situation he takes me through, he is there, he loves me. 

He will never leave me or forsake me. 

Just because he doesn't remove something doesn't mean that he loves me any less, and probably that I would say I have chills just saying it, because I think that's the biggest lesson is he doesn't love me any less, just like anybody listening you, any of us. 

He doesn't love us less because he doesn't respond to a prayer request or removing something from our life, and I know that because he is so faithful, there's going to come so much beauty from all the ashes, from all of this, and so I'm just expecting, I'm waiting in anticipation. I'm just expecting every day to see him and to see him show up and to see him show up in those little things and he has, he really has, and sometimes he works through people and that's been one of the biggest ways that I've seen it. Even just getting to meet you and your beautiful smile and your heart for him and what you're doing, that's such a blessing to me and I would have never met you if this had not happened. Praise God, like I don't know, I don't know what to say, but it sounds weird, but that's a blessing so. 

0:20:37 - Jess

I think you're such a blessing and what you said it's so, so good, because I think your message Actually I know what you just said Somebody needs to hear that, whether they are going through cancer, divorce, whether they are struggling from anxiety, depression, whatever it is, god does make beauty from ashes and whatever they are struggling with, they can get through the other side of it and it's all about growing through it and seeing what he is going to show you through this. And so I just love what you said, and whether it's cancer or something else, god can turn any mess into a message. I just love that. Tell us I know we're running on our time here. I could just talk to you for hours. I know, tell us where we can follow. It is October, but this podcast will air in November and you'll probably be having surgery when this airs. So where can we get updates on your surgery and hear more of your encouragement? Can you tell us what your socials are, your handles are and everything? 

0:22:07 - Kristy

Of course, yeah, are your handles are and everything? Of course, yeah, my personal page is at Kristy K R I S T Y L for layer fit, Kristy L fit. That's Facebook and Instagram, and then I'm also and that's where I share all of my story and my personal stuff. And then I also my women's fitness page is kickstart fitness for Women. It's just at Kickstart Fitness for Women, so those two are the most active and where I kind of put all my stuff out. 

0:22:36 - Jess

OK, great, and I always ask this question for any of my guests who come on. And this may be an obvious answer, but hey, I don't know. I'm going to ask anyway If you could ask Jesus right now to fix it, fix anything and I know there are tons of things, but just one thing if you could say Jesus, please fix it, what would you ask? Big or small, could be tiny. 

0:23:03 - Kristy

That's so hard, I okay If it was about me, go with that for now, because that's one of the things that I've been asking him for. This thing, which is a spiritual thing with me and this is part of how this is so cool Is I have wanted to find a group of women and a community that I can connect with at a soul level where we do life together, and I don't care if we're in different states. I want to find all the people who are my people and people who are in different states, wherever they are across the country I don't care States, wherever they are across the country, I don't care People who just resonate with me and I resonate with them and we click and we connect and we do life together, even if we're in different States. And that is the one thing that I've been asking for spiritually, because this whole thing started when I was young. 

I never felt like anybody cared about me. I always felt alone, I always felt afraid, I always felt rejected, I always felt stupid and ugly and fat and all the things. And so I which I again, I know a lot of us can feel at times in our life, and it led to depression, anxiety, all the things. So part of this is Jesus. I want to find my people and so for me in my brain, that's fixing it, because he is so beautifully surrounding me with those people and providing the outlets to go back and forth. Where I encourage them, they encourage me. So I would say that's probably the biggest thing, is the spiritual aspect of it for me. Oh, so good. 

0:25:02 - Jess

I'm one of your people, yay, I love it. 

0:25:04 - Kristy

I'm so glad I love it. I'm so glad.