Jesus Fix It with Jess & Steph!
Life is beautiful, crazy, messy and ever-changing. Thank the Lord, Jesus can handle it all! Jesus Fix It with Jess & Steph is about finding your way through the clutter; and perhaps having some laughs along the way. The Christian walk doesn’t always come wrapped in nice pretty packaging, so count on us to keep it real.
You can listen to Jesus Fix It on the Spirit FM website, the Spirit FM APP, and wherever you enjoy your podcasts.
The Jesus Fix It podcast with Jess & Steph, brought to you by Your Encouraging Spirit FM.
Jesus Fix It with Jess & Steph!
You Don’t Have to Choose: Jesus and Therapy
Your mental health matters to God. This raw, heartfelt conversation peels back the layers of shame and stigma that often prevent Christians from seeking the help they desperately need.
Jess courageously shares her darkest moments as a newly divorced single mom—days spent hiding under covers, barely functioning, believing her depression was simply something to "get over." The turning point came through a song on Spirit FM that reminded her she was redeemed and deserving of more than endless days of despair. When she finally sought help, her pastor's affirming words—"Jesus and therapy go hand in hand"—opened the door to a decade-long healing journey.
Steph adds her perspective as someone who needed therapy to process sexual abuse trauma, highlighting how professional help enabled her to work through forgiveness and understand that her experience didn't diminish her worth. Together, they explore how biblical figures like Elijah, David, and even Jesus himself experienced profound emotional distress, proving that mental health struggles aren't evidence of spiritual failure.
Whether you're struggling yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers permission to embrace all the resources God provides for mental wellness. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that loving Jesus and seeing a therapist can absolutely go hand in hand.
Hey, welcome back, or welcome to the Jesus Fix it podcast, the show where we talk about life, the ups, the downs, a little pop culture and everything in between. I'm Jess and I'm Steph.
Steph:Every other week we dive into the things we're asking Jesus to fix. And let's be real, there's a lot. You can always count on us to keep it real.
Jess:Share some laughs with us, and maybe a few tears, as we tackle the big and small stuff with faith and honesty. So grab your coffee and let's get into it. There are so many things to celebrate during this time of year. Okay, you have moms, graduations, proms, summer Is it summer?
Steph:yet no, summer is June officially Okay, but the warm weather for people like you, shade, yes.
Jess:I love warm weather. I love summer. The person I'm sitting across from not at all Okay. So so many things to celebrate in May. And another thing that you can celebrate is taking care of your mental health. Oh, so important my mental health. I really I don't think I knew that it was really a priority. Or maybe I thought that if I addressed my mental health, I was less spiritual or something. I think that's kind of what I thought the stigma was. Okay, let me just give you a little backstory about how my mental health decline started.
Jess:I was a newly divorced single mom and this is pretty much how my days were before I started working at Spirit, which was almost 11 or so years ago. Wow, that's crazy to think. But what I would do is roll myself out of bed still in my pajamas, take my kids to school. I would muster up enough energy to care about what they were eating for breakfast and, just to be real, I didn't really care what they were eating long as they ate something. This was the best time for my kids because they could literally have Skittles for breakfast. You know what I'm saying? They were being fed. They were being fed. They were being fed. It was okay.
Jess:So I take my kids to school, drop them off, come back home, put my head under the covers, set my alarm to pick them up from school, pick them up from school, stop and pick them up some fast food, come, put my head back under the covers. I'd cry until bedtime. Then I'd peek my head out my door, make sure they had a bath and if they said yes, okay. If they said no, okay, whatever stink I don't care, it's your body. Then I get right back in bed. This was my day for months and months and months. I didn't know that talking to somebody about it was an option. I thought, okay, being sad is normal. You're divorced, your life is different now. So I didn't really feel like, okay, this is not normal. Do you know what I mean? I just felt like I knew something was off, but I just felt like, okay, you're just sad because you're not married anymore and this is your new life.
Jess:You just need to just get over it and deal with it. It's your new normal Right. Which is crazy because, me talking to somebody else who felt like this, I would never just tell them to get over it. You know what I mean. I would just never. If, like somebody I loved, if I knew this was their day, I would check in on them. I would know that something was wrong with them.
Jess:But myself I felt like, okay, this is just something you're going through. Like this was terribly wrong. Do you know what I mean? Like there was a point where I felt so hopeless I didn't think about hurting myself, but I did wonder do I have anything to live for? Like I felt like the only reason that I stuck around was because I had kids. To be honest, I felt like, okay, I can't take my life, because who's going to take care of my kids? Sure, they have a dad. They have a great dad. He doesn't want me anymore, but he's still a great dad. But he can't do things like I can do. Come on, I'm mom. I may not be the best mom right now, but I'm still their mom. So, hey, I got to stick around. So I honestly think actually I know that's the reason I'm still here probably is because of my kids.
Jess:And it really wasn't until I heard a song on Spirit FM, really called Redeemed, that made me realize, okay, you're more than this. I was actually on my way to pick up my kids from school and I heard that song on the radio and I was like, wait a minute, you're more than what you're doing right now. And hearing that song made me realize that, okay, you need to go talk to somebody, because what you're doing to yourself, what you're doing to your kids, you're more than that. But I can honestly say, before I actually pulled over and listened I was almost late for getting my kids, by the way, because I had to pull over and listen to that song but before I stopped and actually listened to the words of that song and before I sat and thought about how my days were going, I can honestly say one of the things that stopped me from seeking help is because I thought I could just pray away what I was going through. So fast forward a little bit, I get some help. And this is something a Christian counselor reminded me of Struggling mentally doesn't make you less spiritual. There are so many Christians who struggle and who don't get help.
Jess:Even biblical figures dealt with mental and emotional strain. Elijah was exhausted and wanted to die. Actually said I want to die. David wrote about deep despair in the Psalms. I want to die. David wrote about deep despair in the Psalms. Jesus himself wept and experienced anguish in Gethsemane. I can never say that. So just hearing those things things I already knew but just hearing somebody else say that really helped me through that time, and so I just pray that somebody listening right now is encouraged to take care of your mental health and to know that it's okay to have Jesus and therapy.
Steph:Oh, talk about Jess, a little bit about. You heard that song. You pulled over. You're almost late picking up your kids. What was that moment, specifically, though, that you said, okay, I need to call someone and talk to someone. What did that look like? How did you actually handle that?
Jess:I think first of all I had been struggling with okay, if you're a Christian, you're not praying strong enough to get through this. So that was one. But then also, I think my other struggle was the shame of actually being a divorced Christian. But then, hearing those lyrics, you are redeemed. And then I was struggling with so many other things. It wasn't just being divorced, I was somebody who found my identity in being a mom. I found my identity in other things and so listening to that song, just hearing that, I'm redeemed. I've been set free, just hearing that chorus over and over again, and I'd heard that song before, but there was just something about hearing it that particular day.
Jess:God just used that song to encourage me in that moment. God just told me to pull the car over and listen to those lyrics and I did. And it's just like that song just spoke to me and said I'm redeemed, I'm set free and go get help. Now in that song it says nothing about go see a therapist. It says nothing. It doesn't say here's the phone number. There is nothing in that song that says that. But me listening to that song after that song was over, I knew that the way I was spending my days it wasn't right. I knew my kids deserved better. I knew I deserved better. I knew I needed to take care of my mental health.
Steph:So you then sought out somebody, a therapist, and you had what one session and everything was peachy. First I talked to my pastor.
Jess:Okay, and let me tell you that was the most nerve wracking thing, because I thought, okay, I know I need to see a counselor, but the first thing I'm going to do is go talk to my pastor, because I felt like I needed to get in with somebody immediately. And, you know, I had access to my pastor and my pastor is there for us so. But I was nervous because here's, you know, a man of God. He's going to tell me to pray about it and I was like I've been praying, so if he, if I, get in his office, and he tells me to pray some more and I know I need some.
Jess:I know I need some help. I might even need some medication, because that's how bad it was. If I get up in this man's office and he tells me to pray and I've already been praying I might just go off on the past. I don't want to.
Steph:But I'm just telling you honestly, that's where I was.
Jess:But when I tell you, my pastor was like you are making the best decision, knowing that you need Jesus and therapy and they go hand in hand. Do you know how refreshing that was to have your pastor say it's okay, it's okay, Jesus works through anything and anybody. To have my pastor say that. And I'm like, wait a minute, for six months I've been here stressing, thinking that I wasn't praying enough or that I wouldn't be spiritual enough. If I go seek counseling or medication and he's like, oh honey, no, you should have been here sooner. Let me give you a list of Christian counselors.
Steph:Like oh my, goodness, eye-opening, you felt seen.
Jess:I did Because I know, sadly, not all pastors feel that way and I think that's probably how naive was it to think that my pastor would think that you know what I mean. So I was very blessed to have a pastor that did not think that way, yeah, so you had the conversation with your pastor. Had the conversation with my pastor. He talked to me, prayed with me, and then I just started seeing a therapist on a weekly basis.
Jess:At first, we met twice a week and then once a week and then, after meeting once a week for a long time, once a month.
Steph:Yeah, and then is it something that's just kind of one of those like, once you get into the chiropractor, you have a bunch of visits and eventually it's just as maintenance and when you need it Pretty much, yeah, yeah. So talk about how your journey has been. From how many years ago was that when you first were like I need to get in and talk with someone, to where you are now?
Jess:That was, oh my goodness, that was about, about. That was about 10 years ago, okay. But I have been seeing a therapist continually for the last 10 years, not every week, not every month but yeah me I would say therapy, maintenance, therapy that's a thing we'll make it a thing, but I still hate that sometimes it's still such a stigma to be a Christian.
Steph:Yeah.
Jess:And there are still Christians out there that feel like, okay, if you have Jesus, that's all you need. Jesus is enough.
Steph:Jesus and therapy, and sometimes medication.
Jess:Yes, go hand in hand. Yes, jesus works through anything and anyone.
Steph:I have a dear friend of mine crippling anxiety.
Steph:I mean crippling, and anyone who's ever dealt with any aspect of anxiety you can understand that it's difficult. And then when you're somebody who just very introverted until you get to know her and then she won't stop talking, one of those kind of people. Bless her, love her. But I remember probably eight, nine years ago, walking through this journey with her and I said I encouraged, you need to talk with someone. It was the point where any kind of social situation like she could barely leave her house. The anxiety was that bad and it was just a strong Christian. But she just felt like everybody's going to judge me for, fill in the blank, whatever it was the church that we went to actually the pastor's wife is a certified counselor whatever the doctor, whatever all those All the initials, all the initials, and she was on staff and that's how much the church we went to believed in helping people with their mental health, that they had a counselor on staff.
Steph:So she started meeting with her and then she said okay, this is great and I'm very thankful to sit and talk with you.
Steph:You also need to get into some medication because this is the next step of being therapeutic and getting you to a healthy place. Therapeutic and getting you to a healthy place. And now, this many years later, I can see how this friend has gone through these steps and she does still. She's like I'm always going to be on medicine, but I don't need to be on such a high dose anymore, and she was like I can't just pray it away. Yes, we know, our God is the God of miracles and in an instant he can absolutely take it away.
Steph:Absolutely, but there are times where he says no. These are things that I have empowered others with.
Steph:The ability to have the ability to talk with someone, to help somebody work this out, to give them medicine, because I have trained these people and given them the right mentality to understand what medicines help. With all this, I've given him the gifts to make these things. Yes, these are all from God, and so he will use whatever it is that God wants to use in order to help you overcome your anxiety, your depression, just the feelings of inadequacy, whatever, fill in the blank.
Steph:We all go through it For me. I'll be very, perfectly honest. And, jess, you don't know this sexual abuse and I was in therapy for that. Yeah, as a survivor of that, I don't need it anymore. I don't have to. It was needing to forgive the person who did that to me and I was in therapy for a while, but it was. I can't just pray this away. It was affecting my whole life and everything I was going through and definitely the mental health aspect of it, so huge. And I can look back on that time of my life when it clicked Because I didn't realize it growing up. I did not realize not just that I was mentally being affected by it, but that the abuse was happening. I didn't realize that that's what it actually was called. And so when it finally clicked and I finally needed to talk to somebody to work through it and realize that I am not less than because this happened and God loves me, and it's not that.
Steph:God let this happened and God loves me, and it's not that God let this happen to me. That is something that people struggle with. Why did God let that happen?
Jess:Yes, sometimes people need to hear that in therapy Because people hold on to that. And sometimes that makes people walk away from Jesus, because they're holding on to that very thought. Yep.
Steph:Yeah, so therapy, talking with someone. I didn't need to get on any kind of medication. That wasn't where my mental health journey was. Everybody's different and everybody's different?
Jess:Exactly, yeah, and just hear us. Well, we're not sitting here saying, okay, go see a therapist to get you some medicine. We're not saying that. We're just advocating for whatever your journey is, we're just advocating for you and your mental health, whatever that looks like for you, For you and for you.
Steph:Jess, you knew that you needed that so that your day wasn't under the covers. Wake up, get the kids some kind of food, take them to school. Go back under the covers, get out of bed, get the kids go back under the covers, realizing, yes, there is so much more to that and you needed that person to help you walk through that journey. And I needed the person to help me walk through the journey to say you are more than this situation that happened to you, yes.
Jess:I actually wrote this down. These are when I stepped into the therapist's office for the first time a Christian therapist. These are some of the things she first said to me. Therapy isn't a replacement for Jesus. First and foremost. What we're going to do is pray and process worship and work through it, journal and set boundaries. I love that and that's what we did, and that's what I continue to do through my therapy. Your process may be different, but this is what my process was and I love that. And that's the beauty of at least being open to having Jesus and therapy. You can figure out what type of process is going to work for you, but nothing is going to work if you don't try.
Steph:Plain and simple, that's just what it is.
Jess:You can love Jesus and still need help.
Steph:Yeah, love Jesus and have a therapist.
